Meeting my Mentor

This post is just to document some things for myself. ūüôā

Messages

Met with one of my guides who refers to himself as my “mentor”. He has very calm energy and I feel very comfortable with it, it’s soothing and reminds me very much of the energy of a water sign. I felt he had no name but the name “Robert” popped into my head for some reason. I recognized his energy and knew he and my new entourage of guides had been in the background of my life for some time. They are the ones who planned this life with me.

Most of his communication with me was in feelings and images, though he did use words. So, most of what I recall now is in feelings. He asked me if it would be okay with me for us to meet. He explained that in this meeting he would not block the energy which would result in an¬†amazing heart blast of bliss. I understood that this will¬†happen either in a lucid dream or the in-between. He also explained that he will reveal aspects of himself to me. Since he is most definitely other worldly, I do not know what exactly I will perceive but he wanted to warn me of it in advance and reassure me that I could request it to stop at any point. He reassured me that I am ready for this and that it is necessary for me to become Whole. I wasn’t told exactly when this would happen. He just said, “soon”. I suspect it will be Tuesday or Wednesday based upon dream messages and the upcoming lunar eclipse.

While communicating with him we discussed the state of this world, my progress and my role in the future. Team Dark was mentioned and his reaction to this name and the energies they represent was, “It is inconsequential.” My understanding from his reaction was that Team Dark is simply a fear-based name based upon human programming and not to get caught up in the duality from which it arises. Those who choose that route are no different than those who do not – they simply wish to experience it while others choose not to.¬†There is no judgement made and no “us versus them” mentality taken.

He advised me to avoid reading other accounts, channeled messages, books, etc right now because my experiences need to remain “untainted” by outside sources. He also triggered memories of my dreamtime activities. I recalled discussing trigonometry, specifically Sine, Cosine and Tangent and seeing/discussing actual math problems. There was acknowledgment of math and its interconnectedness to the universe and spiritual concepts. I saw the familiar triangles of the Merkaba and patterns of¬†sacred geometry.

I also remembered that I chose to explore the social, psychological and spiritual while in physical form rather than scientific and mathematical concepts. This is because on the Other Side (or wherever we are in Spirit) my strengths are science and math and my weaknesses are the social sciences. I love to solve puzzles, just in physical life the puzzle I chose to solve was me. Pretty cool.

Throughout our conversations, I had an overwhelming familiarity hit me. There was also a feeling of anticipation and excitement – a “this is it!” feeling. My heart, third-eye, and crown were also activated at this time.

Dreams

I have been sleeping very deeply and have lots of dreams which are mostly lost to me upon waking. Last night I awoke at 1am to intense root chakra activity. It felt like a bubble of energy was expanding out from the root chakra. I do not recall the dreams associated with it, but I knew it was in preparation for whatever is coming next.

I recall¬†being in college, specifically in a class about psychology and dreams. I asked a question about lucid dreams and astral travel and the class ended abruptly. I then met a woman with long, light brown hair who was shorter than me. When I saw her, I instantly felt drawn to her. The entire room had been dark but she was bright and her image very clear. I told her, “I like you.” lol We hugged and I felt we were long-time friends and she and I seemed inseparable. I sensed¬†a strong heart connection with her and there was knowing that we were “partners”. She appeared to know this as well and we walked out of the room with our arms draped over each other’s shoulders. She disappeared after that, though.

Then there is memory of me and four others holding hands in a circle as we floated/hovered. The feeling was that we were co-creating/manifesting, but I can’t recall anymore. In the in-between more was revealed but I did not write it down and so now it is lost to me as well.

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The Galactic StarBEing Awakening in a Human Body

Excerpts from an article written by Lisa Transcendence Brown. Full article here.

I found this article back in January. It kept coming up in my FB feed and was also posted in the Walk-in group. It came up again yesterday, so I re-read it.

This article is the best explanation I have found for the process I am going through. This is why I am being told by my Team that I am experiencing a walk-in and am finally AWAKE. I am reintegrating a part of myself, my Light, that broke off a very long time ago.

We are becoming WHOLE again.

A StarBEing holds codes and sequences beyond the human understanding and the physical body is a storage container, if you will. When a StarBeing is “forced” into living as a human by unconscious humans, their expanded consciousness is suppressed and “shut down”. This shutting down is what we call “going to sleep” or “the slumber”, also known as amnesia between the realms and veils. It stagnates the StarBEing and forces their DNA to distort itself and to separate off in order to survive here. This creates discord within the physical body vessel, physical pain, emotional pain and suppression that ultimately must be REVERSED back to purity and love again. The magnitude that one experiences this “force” through not understanding will determine the amount of distortions created, suffering and reversal necessary to re-program back to light again. Where an individual does not understand, they will do this to their self. This is why it’s so important to re-educate all according to the higher frequency realms of NEW Earth NOW…….

…..When one awakens, the body has been asleep. Some are walk-ins, some incarnated at birth and now we have “walk-throughs” and “pass-throughs” and many others coming through. Only the human needs to put this in a box to understand it. It doesn’t really matter, other than how one chooses to DO from this moment NOW…….

…..All are here to merge and unify to release the SEPARATION CONSCIOUSNESS that kept one unconscious and asleep. As these long awaited gamma rays continue to increase the bombardment of galactic light, intensity and distortions shall be magnified to make visible any old density programming and illusions still held within. The old matrix gridwork gone that kept all held together before, bizarre and extreme is the new way for one still holding onto the need/desire to remain unconscious.

We are Yeshua

When I awoke from the OBE¬†the three Beings were to my left. I saw them each as light but I knew immediately that they were E.T.s and that my OBE had been with them. They were the “midget men” who I knew were also the Prophet. I asked them, “Who are you?” They responded as one, “We are Yeshua.”

So much commenced after this that I am not sure where to start and I will most likely forget to include everything. So forgive me in advance. I will do my best as I know this is important for more than just me.

These Beings are very ancient and they communicated as such. They have been the caretakers of Earth from the beginning. They are not those who participated in the seeding of Earth, though. They made this very clear. They are of the group who have been called The Many, The Elohim, Melchizedek and other names I cannot think of at the moment. I asked why they always give me Biblical names and was told, “They are Our names.”

They told me they traveled from a different time but also showed me what this looked like. It was literally like they stepped into this time but it would be like they traveled a very, very long time to get here. I suspect what I was shown was them coming from their dimension to ours, but it literally looked like they just crossed over some kind of barrier, like a line in space. It was a dark line. They were on one side and we were on the other.

I asked what they were doing and was told, “You can reproduce better now.” I thought back, “Reproduce? I don’t want to reproduce. I’m fixed.” But then I realized this was their way of saying “sex” and understood that they view sex for what it is – reproduction. It is nothing but that. Curious.

We discussed how my previous lucid dream was my conscious mind’s way of interpreting the events prior to the OBE. I was on board a craft somewhere and was witnessing someone else have some kind of procedure done. I was told that I have a disgust for “reproduction” and that I needed to remove it for it was not accurate and something I picked up from the incarnation cycle. I recognized this disgust right away. My dream was just a reflection of it.

When I met the woman in my dream who was preparing to connect her laptop, I was told that I would be meeting with these Beings. For some reason it scared me and I started to cry. They explained that my human reaction is fear first Рthus my reaction. They said they will help me find acceptance and understanding. For now the scenes I recall will be comfortable and at an acceptable level. Eventually they will be less and less so, but only to the extent that I can handle it.

I recall that the light I was looking at was the light¬†used in whatever procedure they were doing. I recall seeing six 1 inch cubed crystals, similar to a dream I recently had. I didn’t see it in the OBE but recalled it almost immediately after I woke. These crystals were used on me but I am not sure what for.

This procedure is not the upgrade that is coming. It was a preparation for it. When I was told this my heart chakra began to light up and I was enveloped in an energy hug that fully surrounded my entire mid-section. I felt that there would be more heart chakra energy with the next upgrade. I melted into it for a bit, enjoying it.

The maps and diagrams I saw were almost forgotten but it was like they reminded me of them because the memory just appeared in my head. I tried and tried to remember the information but it was not forthcoming. I knew I was not meant to know. The information was about the agenda of Team Dark and the harvesting of humans. There is a purposeful increase in population beyond the ability of the Earth to support. It is disturbing but I am not sure why.

I asked why they were visiting me. They said to me, “You are special. You were chosen out of a group of volunteers”. I have been hearing that I am “special” ever since my first communications with my guide. I hate hearing it. So I said to them, “But there are a lot of us.” They responded, “Not as many as you might think.” They then said I was given “gifts”. This I understood to be my spiritual abilities but I did not ask. They explained that I needed to be “clear”. I believe this was what they had been doing in my OBE. I have specific judgments towards sex and intimacy that need to be sorted.

We also talked about the exchange that was soon to take place. It will occur after I am “cleared” (not really sure what that means). The exchange involves another aspect taking over and the current me going into stasis. I asked where I would go and was shown what appeared to be a pod made out of a fabric-like material with a zipper that went all the way around. I saw inside of it a woman – me – asleep and holding an infant. I understood that for me what happens while the other aspect is in control will appear like a very vivid dream. Interesting. I was told¬†also that as they begin to allow me to retain memories of my interactions with them that they will surround me in a “calm” unlike anything I have ever experienced. I got a visual of being surrounded in what looked like a silken cocoon of energy. I am open that that. ūüôā

There is more but this is getting too long and I have to get on with my day. I will write more later.

Purpose: Be Bright

The title of this post comes from my very cool, very “bright” and beautiful sister-in-law. She is not even 30 years old yet but so very wise and in-tune.

She¬†and I got to spend some time together this weekend. She has always spoken with me about spiritual matters. This time she had questions about OBEs, spirit guides, and life purpose. We talked about all of those things and more. It was so nice and uplifting for me, but I could also tell that this time something “clicked” for her.

Somehow we got into a discussion about the “end of days”. She asked me what I thought about it and I told her everything and then some. We talked at length about Dolores Cannon’s books, which she had never heard of. She had also never watched Ancient Aliens nor had she really considered E.T. contact much.

At the end of our talk she said to me, “I know this is my first life.” She had 100% certainty. Then we talked about purpose for a little while. I told her about the three waves of volunteers and described my understanding of the first two – their ages, personalities, life struggles, etc. I did not talk much about the third wave because they are still so young and she was very interested in the 2nd wave volunteers anyway.

Our conversation kept getting interrupted by children (there were six total present all under the age of 7). She spent most of her time playing with my youngest and chasing him around the house. In between we would start up talking again. It was fun.

Our last communication was about¬†purpose. She asked me what¬†my purpose¬†was. I told her,” When I think about why I am here I know it is to help”. ¬†My sister-in-law then said, “When I think about why I’m here, I always think, ‘To be bright'” I said, “That sounds about right”. She then described how she works very hard when in social situations to send that “bright” energy to people. She said she never felt it worked. I said to her, “Maybe you are trying too hard? You will be bright just by Being.” She agreed.

You Are Not Alone

The memory of our conversation just suddenly came to me today along with the thought that there are many others like my sister-in-law who need to know that they are not alone in this journey. Others who are of the 2nd wave and are struggling to understand their purpose here while also feeling they do not belong. It is very difficult to be in that space, especially at this time with all the high energies and shifts upon us.

One thing that helped my sister-in-law, and she told me as much, was realizing¬†that she¬†is here to lead a seemingly “normal” life while touching and activating everyone she¬†meets. Those who are like her often times don’t know they are even doing anything to help people. But they are. Because of this, some of them may struggle with feeling like they are not fulfilling their purpose since they don’t often see the results of their brightness. To know that they are impacting others makes a huge difference.

Afterthought

Something else popped into my memory while writing this post. While I was talking with my sister-in-law I kept¬†getting comments on how I looked. Every woman present mentioned my face being red or “flushed”. I heard at least four times, “Did you get sunburned?” I looked in the mirror and thought I looked fine but I was very, very warm. Also,¬†I looked really, really good despite being completely make-up free and having worked out at the gym a couple of hours before. The warm feeling and flush didn’t go away until it was time to leave.¬†I have to admit it is weird that it coincided with such a spiritual discussion. It was almost like my energy field was intensified during that time. Perhaps I was “activating” her? Or her me? Or both? That would be really cool.

 

Let it All Out

It has been a very difficult past few days. It was so difficult for me that I decided yesterday never to write in my blog again. I just couldn’t, for so many reasons. Then this morning I awoke feeling a bit better, though not completely.

My main reason for not writing is because I feel I cannot share some things on here that are crucial components to what is going on with me. They are deeply personal and not just mine. To share them would be a like a type of betrayal, but even this is hard to for me  to understand and I struggle with understanding it myself. I feel it is not beneficial to me or anyone else to share these parts of my journey because I do not understand them and I am not sure I will ever fully understand them. Yet it is so much a part of what is happening to me now that I feel unable to proceed without including it. It is a puzzle piece that, if left out, would make my story incomplete and meaningless.

Yet even as I write this I cannot, will not share it with you all. I am sorry. I just can’t. This is why I am reluctant to write in my blog now, for what do I write now if I cannot write about all of mySelf and my experiences? Anything I write would be totally lacking and incomplete.

The whole purpose of this blog is to help others on the same journey; to assist them by sharing with them my own journey so they know they are not alone and maybe get some comfort from that. Yet, at this point, I feel unable to share fully my own journey. There is just so much tied up in it that I can’t make sense of and I worry about the potential far-reaching effects.

What I Will Share

I will share with you what I have been going through the last few days, but because of the personal nature and backstory that I don’t feel can be shared, it may leave you with many questions. I know it leaves me with questions and I know the whole story!

On the morning of the 21st I lost my heart connection. Actually, I felt to have lost all connection. There came with this loss a feeling of dread, like something was there that I didn’t want to look at or confront but had to. I avoided it but it threw me into disarray for the rest of the day.

That evening I blew up on my husband for no reason. It shocked him enough to keep the kids away and let me be. I retreated to a hot bath and cried and cried and cried. It was like my entire soul was just pouring out through my eyes. Afterward I was so completely exhausted that I went to bed at 8pm.

I had dreams of going through levels of rainbows of color. There were five levels and each one poured over me. I don’t recall much else but I feel I received intense healing and adjustment. When I woke at 3am I was beside myself with grief again. I must have relaxed at some point because I was awakened by a huge amount of energy moving up¬†from my legs and enveloping me in a warm energy hug that made me want to fall asleep. I heard, “We are with you” right before I fell back to sleep.

I ended up having an in-depth OBE for the next two to three hours. At the end of the OBE I forgot who I was and it sent me into a panic trying to figure it out. This is what ultimately woke me.

When I awoke I still felt horrible. The main feeling I could contact was that I had gotten a chance to experience Home and it had been pulled out from under me. Why would I get such a wonderful experience only to have it taken from me? Why would I do that to myself? What was I thinking!?

I spent the entire day on and off crying. The next day was the same except that I was outside in the sun every chance I could get. I would go from a calm, quiet to an overflowing of emotion and then back again. It was exhausting and not normal for me. I have never felt such intense grief in my life.

At one point while laying in the sun, my guide said to me:

“I understand your sorrow, I understand your pain….”

I knew the rest of it for it was a song I had written in 2002 called Beauty in the Dark. I finished the verse of the song in my head and burst out crying again.

I understand your sorrow, I understand your pain.

I want to see you smile, I want to hold your hand.

And although this place is colder and darker than where we’ve been,

I’ll take you somewhere warmer, be your light in the dark.

This morning I am better but just writing this makes me want to cry all over again. I am emotionally raw. Every emotion is so much more intense than I remember it to be and I cannot seem to contain the emotion. It just pours out of me. And I am missing my connection so very badly. I hear my guides and Team, I sense them and I still get their energy hugs but I feel more alone than I have ever felt in my life. I feel like I just got here and the place I came from is so very close yet so far away at the same time.

Time to Live

This morning I knew that it was time to sort things out in my life. I don’t want to. I dread it but at the same time I could not stop myself from thinking of the things that need to be done. That is what my focus is on right now, though I am not happy about it.

I woke with this song in my head:

Walk-In Acceptance

This morning I awoke suddenly to an intense pulling in my heart chakra. This is not new to me anymore. Seems my heart is always doing something these days. Yet this morning there was a¬†serious¬†feeling coming from my Team that demanded my attention. I knew instantly what was going on.¬†I said to my Team, “I’m a walk-in.”

There’s that word again! I have not been bringing it up as much as it is coming up. I think I am just in denial of all of it. It is such a bizarre idea in and of itself and I struggle to make sense of it and how it could possibly be something I am.

Well this morning I guess my Team has had it with me and my denial and they just outright told me, “Yes, you are a walk-in.” With that I knew when it occurred – 2014 – and¬†all the puzzle pieces began fit neatly together.

Talk

I knew I had to talk to my husband. So, I did. I explained everything to him to the best of my ability. I explained how I have been feeling, how I have changed in the last year or so. I explained what a walk-in is and that I believe I am one. I explained what it meant and what I knew was coming.

Specifically, I told him that I had been sad last night after I connected with him at the heart level. I am sad because I know I am being asked to leave. Soon. I told him it is not now. I don’t know when it will be. But I know it is coming. I am being prepared for it and so I am also preparing him and our children for it. I don’t want them¬†to be shocked when the time comes.

Surprisingly, he reacted calmly and with admiration. He said, “You have such great confront! Most people would be squirming away from even looking.” True. Yet I don’t think he really understands.

Your-Higher-SelfThe Specifics

From what I understand (still Remembering), the walk-in began gradually. The walk-out had to prepare and was very reluctant to leave. The walk-out/walk-in should have happened years ago but the original soul kept changing her mind. Ambivalent. She was so excited about the changes leading up to her departure that she kept staying. The changes were the spiritual awakening and everything else she was experiencing. Who wouldn’t change their mind and want to stay?

It was decided that after her last child was born that she would leave. The preparations would begin during the pregnancy and continue until the exchange was complete. And so it began almost immediately, but it was slow and gradual.

When explaining it to my husband, I realized just exactly how it happened and why I didn’t really notice the changes. The walk-out has to relinquish control of the body. This is a gradual process for the two (body and soul) are firmly connected. The walk-in was present the entire time and the merging process was finally initiated. This is why there was a braid-in. Both had to be present in the body and then control of the body could be transferred. This is less traumatic and easier for the walk-out and also gives the walk-in time to adjust and observe.

The original soul is still present. I think she will be for a while. She does not want to let go and wants to see this through to a positive end. Agreements were made and contracts written that must be followed through to completion.

I knew this morning that ultimately my job will be to prepare my family for my departure. They are not part of my mission here. They were part of hers. Though I carry a deep love for them all, I do not have the attachment to them that she does. When I first recognized this detached feeling I retracted in horror from it because it was not something she would have felt; it was completely out of sync with the memories I carried of her life.

Like I told my husband, I don’t know when I will be called to leave. It will come, though. I have no doubt of it now. I explained what the call feels like to my husband and how it has manifested previously. A massive amount of energy descends from above and I feel HUGE and full of clarity and knowingness. I just know what to do and I do not hesitate to do it. This happened when I agreed to sell our old home and move away from my family. I knew a contract with my mom had come to a conclusion and I was free to leave. There was massive amounts of relief along with sadness. The conflicting emotions didn’t make sense to me then but now they do. The old me, still very present, was grieving, the new me was excited to move on.

Preparation 

The body has to be prepared for the walk-in soul. The vibration of the walk-in is much higher and could result in major physical difficulties or even death (at the extreme). My experiences in 2014 up until just recently are evidence of the necessary upgrades.

Simultaneously, I was traveling in my sleep and meeting up with my soul family. These kinds of connections are evident in my journal entries as well. That is why I was asked to review them.

It all makes a so much more sense to me now looking back on it all. I was told numerous times of the upcoming exchange, I just didn’t understand what it really meant and I thought the end result would be different – that I would be somehow changed overnight and be someone else. It is not like that at all. I retain everything from the walk-out – the memories, the experiences, the feelings. I am still her on so many levels but at the same time I’m not. The exchange will not be 100% complete until I have fulfilled all her soul contracts and agreements. Until then, I am bound by them as she was. Once I finish what she started I will be free to join up with my family (soul group) who is waiting for me.¬†I feel the pull from my soul family intensly. It doesn’t ever go away. I miss them.

What is the most difficult for me right now is¬†the reconciliation¬†of¬†what was and what will be. My Team, so very serious this morning, left me with a message. They kept repeating, “Remember you are loved. We love you.” This was said multiple times. As I continue to process everything I am Remembering, I understand why they would say this. What lies ahead will not be easy and I will need to remember I am loved.

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

Luminous Beings

Yesterday proved to be another difficult day for me. Outwardly, I appeared fine and stable, but within I was struggling.

I slept hard and deep again, waking a few times in the night and quickly returning to sleep without incident. At 5:30am I was awakened by a dream that turned lucid very quickly. In it, I was listening to a small child singing a song. She appeared to be about 9 or 10 years old and had a white, luminous light surrounding her. Her words were ultimately what brought me out of my slumber.

She sang, “Hello to you with the pillow over your head, laying in bed.” lol

Awake but in the in-between, the entire night’s adventures were suddenly within my mind – dreams, conversations, and feelings. The dreams are full of symbolism but they are so long that I do not want to go into detail here. Instead I will focus on the important parts.

Train

I was lifted out of one dream scene into another by an unseen guide. We flew high above a green valley surrounded by rusty colored mesas and plateaus. I could see a train meandering along a track that went through the bottom of this valley. I knew this was my destination but I was just along for the ride.

Luminous Beings

I watched as the ground began to move. I could see a ball outlined below the surface. There was also a very high pitched sound that was all around. I can’t connect it to any sound I have ever heard but it was everywhere. It came from within rather than without and was like music but no music I have ever heard.

Then a luminous white orb about the size of a basketball emerged from the soil. I looked away it was so bright. When I looked back there was standing in front of me a small Being, very child-like in stature – the height of a 12 year old child. I could see him despite his brightness – he was extremely bright white with a light blue tinge to the outer areas of this brightness. He was human in shape and I could see his entire body from his head to toes. There were no distinct features other than his eyes, nose and mouth. The rest was just too bright. His face was human-like but more like a human with some kind of chromosome issue most similar to someone with Down’s Syndrome.

Then I saw 4 other orbs appear from the ground behind me. Each one became a small Being just like the first.

Messages

With all these memories came an understanding that I had been somewhere else with these bright Beings. They were so calming and continually sent love to me. It was the most beautiful feeling I have ever felt and I wanted badly to be with them – to leave this life and body and join with them. The entire time I communicated with these Beings my heart was so large inside my chest that it felt like it would burst. At the same time my crown and third eye were also buzzing.

I could feel the Beings around me and recognized them as very special. We conversed but most of their answers came as pure Knowingness. They explained that they are Timeless and have been on Earth since the beginning.

At this time I had a memory of seeing hundreds of luminous orbs rising up out of a vast, dark lake and several Beings inviting me to enter into this metal craft that was hovering a few feet off the ground. They said to me, “Leave your shoes. You wear new ones here.” I chose instead to wear my old shoes inside my new ones.

Several times they mentioned the Anasazi’s. I am not very familiar with this ancient group of people but from what I recall they completely disappeared and no one knows why or where they went. The answer I received was that some left while others stayed. The ones that left shifted into light bodies and ascended. The ones who stayed integrated with the Earth and I saw them underground. I heard, “There are scores of us across the planet. We are here to help. We are re-emerging.”

Of course I wondered why they were here with me. The answer I received was that they were helping me with my heart. This part is hard to describe because it is so intensely personal on so many levels. Even as I write this my heart is pulling.

Another memory surfaced then, one in which I was being presented with these tablets that appeared to have etched into them runes or symbols. Each tablet was perfectly square and each symbol was etched inside it’s own square. The symbols glowed and appeared to enlarge when I looked at them.¬†

They surrounded me with love and one said to me, “We will help you grieve.” I was hit with such an understanding of this that I began to cry. I was crying not only from the intense love I felt but from numerous other things that I am going through right now. I am being pulled with such intensity toward my group and I am struggling with the feeling. It is constant and was the source of the split feeling I had been feeling. The split feeling is gone and I don’t think it will return but the magnetic pull to leave is still very strong.

Of the many messages I received there was one that I have been getting on my own that they confirmed. This feeling to leave is only going to intensify. Now is not the time to act on it, though, as there are things I must resolve first. When the time comes to act I will Know. I was told, “You must become whole first.” The message about being whole has come to me before. Though I don’t fully understand it, I trust it. I don’t know how long it will take and a part of me is afraid of it happening.

It seems to me that these Beings magnified my heart space in a way that brought great clarity. They confirmed much of what I had been feeling yet at the same time intensified emotions that I have been avoiding. I carry with me a great loss and longing, like a part of me is missing but accessible – just not yet. When I contact the source of these feelings I feel like I am Home. It is similar to the feeling I got from the Beings. I want badly to reunite with them but cannot. No wonder I am so sad. ūüė¶