Dream: Medical School

Just a little update on my husband in Clearwater and what happened with Hurricane Irma. Yesterday I texted him since he had not been in contact with me and the silence was unsettling. He texted back this when I asked him how he was doing:

“Very little action here in Clearwater at all. It is quite boring. It’s absolutely hilarious watching the media on TV! They are so disappointed and working so hard to try and find negative things. One of them announced that 5 people had died and then somebody had to come back later and say they had died of natural causes not related to the storm!”

He had been hunkered down on the third floor of his hotel with other guests waiting for the storm to hit like predicted but it never did. The electricity never even went out! Turns out the hurricane was downgraded to a CAT1 around the time it hit Tampa.

I posted this update on FB and got many responses indicating relief. Several people mentioned how all the prayers and manifestation efforts were the cause. Honestly, while I don’t doubt prayers and such helped – positive intention does help – my intuition from the very beginning, even before Harvey hit my own state of Texas, was that all the hype over these hurricanes was unfounded. I believe what my husband insinuated in his text says it all – the media wants things to be negative, they want people to be in fear because fear equals higher ratings.

 

Dream: Medical School

Last night I requested a meeting with my Council to help me better understand my current path. Though I did not have a lucid dream or OBE of such a meeting (didn’t request one either), the following dream indicates such a meeting did take place.

I was in a hospital (giving up control of one’s own body, seeking healing) setting with a group of others. The group was quite large, maybe 30, and we were all students but also teachers in our own right. There were teachers/mentors present who were leading the group there as well. I remember a woman and I having a discussion about my experience with babies. This surprised me at first but then I remembered I had been tending to a baby (new beginnings, innocence). During this conversation she mentioned our residency and that it was our first year. I told her I didn’t want to remain past that year. In this portion of the dream I felt very out of place, unsure of myself and surprised I was in medical school.

There were portions of the dream after this that are hazy. I recall being inside a large hospital doing my rounds. I saw a woman who had a rash (doubt/indecision, “rash” decisions) all over her body. I applied bandages and ointment to the rash (trying to resolve or heal the results of the decision).

The next thing I recall is boarding a plane (connecting with higher aspect of Self) with the rest of my group. We were going to a doctor’s house in Florida. I remember seeing this doctor (emotional and spiritual healing is needed). He was tall with light hair and glasses. My invitation was a surprise and it felt as if the doctor only invited a select few and that I should feel honored that he selected me.

When we arrived at the house I remember seeing that it was right up next to the water. The water was dark (the unknown, mourning) and areas had eddies and whirlpools indicating a strong current (emotional turmoil). The water made me a bit nervous because I knew we were set to go out in a boat (coping with/expressing emotion) and I did not want to drown (become overwhelmed by emotion).

Inside the house it was very nice, very much a man’s home. The floors and walls were wood (emotionally numb) and wood paneling. I remember being inside all alone and wandering around looking in each room. The kitchen (emotional healing) struck me as interesting. It was spotless with marble counter tops and sleek lines. What was really odd is that it had four stoves (developing awareness) and ovens (passion, loyalty, warmth, togetherness, devotion) and I remember thinking, “Why would anyone need that many ovens?” There was an area to the left where there were no cabinets under the counter. I looked and saw a tiny door on the wall at the back. I laughed and said, “That’s a gnome door!”

Eventually everyone came inside and began to mingle. I remember seeing three large jugs of soda (rejuvenation). Students were getting drinks from them. I recall getting Dr. Pepper (Dr = healing needed). Then we were preparing to go onto the boat (coping with/expressing emotion). A woman came up to me and mentioned that we were both wearing white (purity) shirts and how that would not be good if we were to get wet on the boat. I said I might have a black shirt and dug through my back. All I could find was a navy blue (openness to guidance) one.

As I sat waiting with the others, the doctor came by and whispered (listen more carefully) to me something about how he was going to “cook (desire to be loved) my meat (matters, issues needing resolution)”. I assumed he was talking about steak but was surprised because he came up and put his lips to my ear to whisper it. It felt very intimate. While he did this he stuck a small folded note (message being relayed) into my hand. He left and I opened the note. It was in my handwriting. It looked like a worksheet (life and lessons in life) and I remember completing it prior to arriving. I saw several equations (solutions to waking problems) I had worked through with their circled answers. I wondered how he knew it was mine. The girl next to me said he had grabbed it from the other table where I had been sitting. Looking at my answers and hers I noted a difference. I got the answer of 76 and she got an answer of 75. I looked at others’ answers and most got 76 like me. The number was so prominent that it woke me up.

Considerations

The feeling I had when I awoke was that the 76 had to do with the year I was born. It reminded me of something that happened yesterday. I found four scratched off lottery tickets on the ground. I picked them up to throw them away and felt I should check them first. I discovered one had the number 41 as a match and was a $20 winner. The 41 seemed significant and later I recognized why – it is my current age. So it seems the 76 and 41 are pointing to me and my life.

The dream also reminded me that I knew on my 41st birthday that this year was different. I actually woke up that morning thinking, “This is the year I will die”. Lately my dreams indicate I am considering exiting this life, even practicing my own death. Recently I also had a Knowing that I will be off the spiritual path I was on from 2014-2016 for a year.

It felt like the above dream was indicating some in-depth healing and learning at other levels. My guidance and I were discussing this healing, how much time it will take and where it will lead. There is also an indication that I anticipated the problems I am currently experiencing and worked out solutions for the problems ahead of time (worksheet with math problems).

 

 

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Gnomes, Hurricanes and Dreamwork

Things are finally settling down here after several days of crazy up’s and down’s. My joke has been that our family garden gnome has been wreaking havoc on our household. 🙂 Anytime strange, unexpected or unexplained things occur the gnome is who I blame. I tell my kids he sneaks out of his potted plant and wreaks havoc on our household while we sleep. They enjoy the laugh, as do I, and it helps relieve tension and make light of things. He’s like our Elf on the Shelf only he can come out anytime, any day, not just at Christmas.

So what has our little gnome been up to lately? First, my husband left for Clearwater on the 6th despite knowing Hurricane Irma was heading straight for Florida. I tried to get him to cancel his flight but he insisted saying it was unlikely he would be affected. Since he has left he has since realized he will likely be in it’s path. The last information he gave me was that his hotel was sandbagging and taping windows in preparation. He is in a voluntary evacuation zone and his hotel is one of the designated shelters. He will be staying to ride out the storm. If they insist he evacuate he will likely head north to Georgia and stay with his aunt and uncle.

Then, the morning of the 8th, sleep still in my eyes, I was pouring milk into my middle son’s cereal and clumps rather than milk came out. Ick! Spoiled. Okay. So out came the other gallon of milk. Lumps. Ugh! Neither was set to expire until the 18th of September so I knew something was up. My husband had mentioned he thought the fridge felt warmer a few days before and I hadn’t noticed. So I went to check and sure enough it felt very warm. Crap!

The milk went down the sink, the kids went without cereal and I put ice cubes in the fridge since the freezer was still good and cold. I spent the rest of the morning looking for a repairman. Thankfully I found one but not after several early morning phone calls.

The whole day I felt off, as if the other shoe would drop any minute. When the repairman arrived he located the problem right away and went to defrosting the freezer. As he was leaving we were talking, me relieved the issue was resolved. I said, “Well it could have been worse. Our a/c could’ve gone out.”

Later I went upstairs and found the a/c thermostat was offline. It was an error message I hadn’t seen. When I saw it and it was unresponsive my heart sank and the words I had just said echoed in my head. I had to call the thermostat company and go through all kinds of steps to see if I could resolve the issue, even calling my BIL in to help. By this time it was near 9pm and I was exhausted. I ended up bursting into tears because the day had just worn me out. The a/c issue was not resolved, it was not the thermostat but we were too tired to try and figure it out. Thankfully the cool front meant the a/c was not needed while we slept. My guidance was saying to me, “Don’t worry” sending me calming waves of energy that I listened to. I could feel the issue would resolve but despite this I could not help but be overwhelmed from everything that had happened that day.

When I woke the next morning the thermostat was miraculously on but set to “heat”. I adjusted it and it showed no issue – like nothing had ever happened. I was suspicious. The night before I had called the company that installed the a/c and made an appointment. I decided to keep it. When the repairman arrived he said the drain had clogged, switching the unit off. Turns out a clogged bathroom sink was the culprit! Stupid gnome! lol 😉

Now maybe all of the above is just normal and I shouldn’t have gotten upset, and honestly I normally wouldn’t, but for some reason that day did me in. I kept thinking about my husband being gone and so maybe on a subconscious level concern for his well-being was seeping in. There were, however, other issues bubbling up in dreamtime around the same time that likely were affecting me, too.

Dream: Dissed

I was standing in a crowded room wearing a white, no-frills wedding dress. I do not recall seeing or even looking at the groom but he was there. In front of me was our minister who was a female and very nice. There were many unknown people – friends – in attendance, but it was a small crowd. The time for the ceremony was quickly approaching but my mom was still not there, neither was the rest of my family. The minister urged me to continue anyway. It was 1pm and that was when the ceremony was suppose to start. Yet I was against it, wanting to wait. She told me the storm likely caused traffic jams and that they may not get through for hours. I asked if they could wait. She said she could.

I borrowed a cell phone and called my mom’s number. My older sister picked up. I could hear sounds of water and splashing in the background and knew they had opted to stay and swim rather than attend. I pushed it out of my mind hoping there was another explanation. I seemed to wait forever for my mom to get on the line. The longer she made me wait, the more sure I was that she was purposefully not coming to the wedding. I recall seeing an old family friend of my mom’s enter the church at the time and found it odd that she would be there but not my own mother.

When my mom finally did get on the line she was not very communicative. I asked her if she was coming saying, “We’ve been waiting for you!” She said she wasn’t coming. She didn’t say much else, communicating most without words that she was not in agreement with my marriage. I suddenly knew all that had transpired and why she was being so awful. She had allowed my sister and her family to live with them for many years. As a result I had not visited as often and so my mom had some resentment for that. At some point I had divorced my husband and met another man and my mom was not in agreement with how I handled the situation. I had been in love with another man while married and though I handled it appropriately and did not wander from my marriage, she didn’t like the new man nor did she like that I left my family/husband. So she was purposefully boycotting my wedding.

Sadness swept over me when I realized she was not coming and doing it on purpose. I felt cut off and abandoned. At the same time I had a “let her go” feeling that was stronger than my wanting to attack or defend myself and/or my actions to her, become bitter/vengeful or try to get her to understand. I hung up the phone and let the situation go but the feeling of sadness didn’t go away.

I woke up, eyes still closed, surprised and not knowing where I was or who I was for a moment. I searched in my mind for a focal point that made sense, a memory of date/time/location. What I recall of this time is seeing flashes of yellow tinged “memories”, like I was traveling along a memory path. I found a memory linked to this life and when I opened my eyes I wondered what I had just seen. It felt like a premonition.

Dream: Disturbing Facial

In this dream I had gone to get a facial. The women giving it to me seemed nice and I was making conversation. She had a peculiar look about her and I was curious. She was giving me a facial of some sort and I remember after it was over asking her about herself and her being quite closed mouthed. She made it seem like she was not allowed. She looked like she may have been a transgendered person because though she appeared feminine she had short hair and some masculine qualities. She had gotten her breasts done and was showing them to me through her clothing. This caused me to be more curious but she would not let me get too close and always backed away from me.

I left and when I returned at another time I found some suspicious activity going on in the same place. There were men with tattoos who seemed menacing and they were asking me if I wanted some of their “services”. The feeling was it involved drugs and sex but there was no evidence.

When I returned again there was a man passed out on the floor who had been given a drug of some sort. I watched them do the same with another man, tempting him with some large, green drink that caused him to immediately pass out after he drank it. The man had hundreds of dollars in his pockets but they didn’t steal it. Instead they stood staring at him and laughing.

That was when they took me and had me lay down on a table. They showed me some “ingredients” to make feces – a white, crumbly clay was one of them and some dark soil as well. They took the mixture and shoved it down my throat asking me how it felt/tasted. I immediately got up and retched, coughing it out and then asking for water to wash out my mouth. I had to swish water around in my mouth several times but could not get rid of the grit left from the mixture. The men were laughing at me.

I left in a hurry and brought back someone to show them what was going on. When we got there they had cleaned out the room and it was empty and spotless.

I ended up at my mom’s making myself lunch and getting ready to head to school. My sister, cousin and mom were present and I knew things were much different than how they are in this reality. My cousin was building a house on my grandparent’s land but had run out of money. My mom was to live with her. My grandfather was still alive and had been grumpy about helping build the house. My mom was not happy and very miserly. She was single and old and my sister was not like she is in this life but seemed independent and helpful. I recall making my lunch for school and then trying to leave but my car was blocked by tons of other cars.

 

Florida Prepares For Major Hit By Hurricane Irma

CARIBBEAN SEA – SEPTEMBER 8: In this NASA/NOAA handout image, NOAA’s GOES satellite shows Hurricane Irma (C) in the Caribbean Sea, Tropical Storm Jose (R) in the Atlantic Ocean and Tropical Storm Katia in the Gulf of Mexico taken at 15:45 UTC on September 08, 2017. Hurricane Irma barreled through the Turks and Caicos Islands as a category 4 storm en route to a destructive encounter with Florida this weekend. (Photo by NASA/NOAA GOES Project via Getty Images)

Considerations

When I awoke I felt like these dreams were either me visiting alternate timelines or the byproduct of some lesson/discussion going on in dreamtime. I felt like the first dream was a premonition. It felt very much like premonitions, do. The quality of them is different from regular dreams but it is hard to describe. It is like a “pay attention” feeling.

The other dream seems to be me confronting a part of me that is distasteful to me. It goes along with the ghetto dream I had not long ago where I visited a part of myself I felt was “unclean”. There is an inspection needed of the parts of myself that are lustful and sexual. That part of me tends toward addiction and seeks out pleasure over pain. Lately I have had images of sexual scenes in my mind that come out of the blue. They are quite orgy-like and likely from another lifetime, though I am not certain. I have a curiosity about them but do not linger on them. However, I am having a lot of root chakra Kundalini activity that makes me especially sexually aroused for no reason. I suspect the dreams, visions and sexual urges go hand-in-hand. Yet I cannot help but wonder if I have gone “sexually insane” or maybe I have entered into that talked about “sexual peak” that women in their 40s experience? There is from this unintended burst of sexual tension both an interest and repulsion in reaction to these sexual urges.

With all of the above going on in dreamtime it is likely it is bubbling up into my consciousness during my waking hours and influencing me more than I know. The hurricane and it’s path toward my husband does not feel to be an issue and overall I feel calm about his situation and know he will arrive home safely, though maybe a bit delayed. Last night as I was considering the three hurricanes now in the Gulf, the massive 8.0 earthquake that hit Mexico and all the fires in the Northwest, I can’t help but feel like my early premonitions of Earth changes are slowly coming to pass. My guidance has long urged me to “stay put” in Central Texas because it will be “safe”. I have seen the coastlines of the U.S. in visions and was told it was not advised that I live near any of them. On one coast the threat of earthquakes is high, on the other ocean surges will engulf the low lying areas time and time again. To think of it all made me shudder. No wonder I have been so uppity the last few days.

Kundalini and New Chakras?

Another interesting night last night. I suspect the full moon again.

Dream: New Controls

I went into an office building inside a skyscraper (high ambitions) for a job (looking for direction and focus). While inside I met up with a woman wearing professional attire – gray and blue suit, high heels. She dropped me at my designated area and told me there were five openings and assured me I would get one. She hinted that the manager position was a likely fit.

Inside I was handed my packet complete with shirt, hat and shoes for my uniform (need to belong). I took it and left without question. The lady met me outside the door and asked me what position I got. I told her it must be a position lower than manager because I was given a uniform. I showed her and she seemed disappointed. I was also given a round telephone for communicating with the office. The feeling was the job was technical or something but all I recall is looking through the phone and noticing it needed to be programmed and did not look nor work like other cell phones.

As I was leaving I opted to take the stairs instead of the elevator. The stairs were in the center of the building and where the treads should have been there were straps. I opted to just slide down (letting go of control) and landed on the bottom happy from the ride.

At the bottom I ran into a woman with gigantic balloons (dreams, hopes, ambitions) in all shapes for her son’s birthday party. A gust of wind came and she lost hold of them and they scattered. We were inside a tunnel (exploring subconscious) so they just spread out. I grabbed several for her. I remember two in the shape of Corvettes. I helped her to her car and she thanked me.

Then I was inside a car and my mom was driving. I was in the seat directly behind the driver’s seat holding my new, circular work phone. It morphed into a steering wheel (control over direction of life) and I began to drive while my mom drove. This caused problems and the car went out of control. I remember thinking, “I should just let her drive.” So I let go of my controls and sat back.

Then for some reason the driving shifted to me and I happily used my new controls which were not attached to the car. It was difficult to get use to because it caused the car to fly (in charge of life, happy). I remember running into guard rails more than once but not being upset by it but laughing it off. The new controls were blue (spirituality, optimism) in my hands and seemed very futuristic. I remember someone being there to guide me on using the controls.

While I was driving I began to notice an energy in my root chakra. This shifted the dream and I found myself inside a sparkly white bathroom (renewal) cleaning it with white rags. I saw the tub faucet and noticed it had blue (spirituality, optimism) wash cloths (new transition) draped around it. I went up to investigate but the sensation in my root chakra grew more and more intense and woke me up.

Kundalini and New Chakras? 

When I woke up the energy in my root was explosive. It shifted out and then upward into my chest. It felt like a very pleasurable energy bubble that breathed in and out. I drifted into the in-between where I was shown the circular control (the phone and steering wheel from the dream) and then saw what looked like a V shape. Up one side of it were 7 circles set along a geometric plane. I recognized them to be the chakras. The root was at the vertex of the V and I understood that another whole set of chakras went up the other side of the V. I assumed this to mean that I had two whole sets of chakras and was learning how to control the new set.

I continued to feel energy all over my body and it was mostly very pleasant but not so much that it made me squirm. It seemed as if the energy of the root chakra just expanded upward to include all of my chakras except for the last two. While the energy moved around I saw geometric, 3D shapes coming into my body from above. Mostly I recall seeing triangles a couple of feet larger than my physical body. They shifted position as they came closer and then “clicked” into place.

In one instance I was being shown how to activate my chakras. I was told to focus (touch) the palm of my right hand. When I did an electric pulse of energy shot up my arm and went directly into my heart chakra. My heart chakra felt to expand a bit and the energy inside was electric and warm to the point of almost being uncomfortable. In my mind’s eye I saw an electric field generate inside my heart chakra that looked like something from out of a science text book. There were points connecting to points and they were all lit up in a neon green color and sparking as tiny points connected and reconnected almost like brain neurons. I was in awe of what I had just done and this woke me up completely. I laid in bed for a while after just enjoying the energy moving around and through my body.

When I was fully awake I remember Knowing that the shape of the new phone/control was purposeful. Cell phones are normally rectangular. This new “cell phone” was circular and looked like a futuristic make-up compact. The entire dream sequence and subsequent Kundalini activity was like a course to get me accustomed to something new about myself.

Lucid Dream and OBE: Over and Over Again

After a two month WP break this morning’s activity prompted me to shift back here. Why? Well, you’ll see, but mainly because while I was in the midst of the lucid dream below I remember saying, “I need to remember this, to write this down and share it”.

If you’ve been following me on Blogger then you know what’s been going on these past couple of months. If you haven’t been, sorry, I’m not going to do a recap except to say spiritual experiences have been low, dream recall almost nonexistent, and focus has been on physicality and living life.

Up until two nights ago things have been quiet in dreamland. Woke up a lot last night. Assuming it has to do with the full moon.

Lucid Dream: Message

I was in school but can’t recall now the specifics of the situation. The next thing I know I am in a room that has no form or features and is dark except where I am. It is almost like I have a dim spotlight on me. I feel a distinctly familiar feeling and think, “I am about to meet someone.” The feeling brings on full lucidity. I think to myself, “Capricorn” and quickly conclude he must be a Capricorn. I’m not sure why I think this but I have no doubt of what I Know.

The feeling intensifies. It is the feeling of connection to another and it is strong, but not so strong it scares me. I can only describe it as an all-over body vibration where mine and the other person’s vibration aligns. The feeling is like my body is a living symphony where all the individual instrument parts are being played perfectly. My soul was literally singing.

A man appears from the shadows. When I see him I know he’s the one I’ve been feeling. He says to me, “I have a message for you.” Inside I begin to freak out a bit, anticipating the message and wishing he had not said that word “message” because it makes me anticipate what is coming next. I expected to wake up because I could feel my anticipation rising and my nervousness taking over. Yet I didn’t. Instead, he approached me and placed his hand on my left shoulder. It was so solid and real it surprised me. I looked up at him and could see him clearly. He was no one I recognized. In fact, he was quite plain in terms of human appearance with small red bumps (pimples?) covering his face, but the feeling I got from him was gentle and loving. He had medium brown hair and light eyes. In recalling him now he could have passed for my father in his younger years, though I did not see my father in him during the experience.

I wait for his message and he draws closer to me. He gently pulls me toward him and we hug. I feel every bit of it as real as in the physical yet this doesn’t wake me up. The hug is so wonderful, too, reminding me of how hugs felt when I was a child after being lost for a while.

When we are done hugging I keep looking up at him, focusing on his face trying to memorize every detail. He says to me, “You are better than this. You don’t need him.” I feel instantly humbled by his statement. It was like I had expected him to say it and I knew exactly what he was talking about. I replied, “You’re talking about (insert person’s name) right?” He says, “Yes.” I hang my head and say, “I know but it is so hard. I don’t want to be here. I can’t do this anymore.” He says, “Why don’t you leave then?” I say to him, “I don’t think I could do that.” He says, “Why couldn’t you?”

I have to interrupt the dream here to say our conversation is not what it seems. Don’t draw any conclusions here thinking we are talking about my husband because we aren’t. During the conversation I did mention a name but when I awoke I understood it to mean I don’t need anyone – male, female, or otherwise. When he says “Why don’t you leave?” I interpret it to mean “leave this life”, not a person, place or situation. In hindsight I believe the conversation has multiple meanings referring to multiple situations in my life.

There is a discussion then about my time on Earth and the choices I have made and the choices I have yet to make. Most of the specifics are lost to me now but I recall seeing a block resembling the days on a calendar but I think the blocks represent something larger, maybe years or lifetimes but I’m not sure. I recall knowing I could finish early, two blocks early, and that it would be okay if I did. The feeling I remember having the most was complete exhaustion and wanting to exit this life as soon as possible. There were so many words exchanged here but all that is left of mine is a feeling of being unable to progress past a certain point. If I had to put it into words it would be that I just can’t push past my feelings of responsibility towards those I love or past the feeling that whatever I do, I lose. I remember the man being very sympathetic and there being the message from him that I knew this might happen when I planned this life. We don’t always have the strength in life that we think we will have while we are in Spirit. The feeling of disappointment in myself was very strong. No matter how hard I try to do what I came here to do, I seem unable. It’s as if that part of me is broken.

The next thing I remember was him asking me, “How do you want to go?” I contemplated this aloud saying, “I don’t care” because I just wanted it over with, then changed my mind because I saw several scenarios flash through my mind – car accident, freak accident, suicide.  I saw my family’s reaction to these and it wasn’t good. I told him, “I prefer to go in my sleep. An aneurysm maybe…something that won’t hurt and won’t traumatize my family.”

Then I heard noises-off. It sounded like my daughter calling my name. By this time I was laying down with the man, curled up inside his embrace and very comfortable there with him. Safe. I knew hearing her meant he was about to go. I told him, “I don’t want you to go yet.” But I called back to her and felt his embrace around me lighten until it was gone. Yet I could still hear him. I asked him, “What is your name?” He said, “I have many names, as do you.” I understood this meant so much more than my human mind can comprehend yet in that moment I had no confusion whatsoever.

I lost some lucidity then and had a dream-within-a-dream. I saw a blonde woman resembling me. She laid down behind the back wheels of an SUV placing her head right behind a tire. The car backed up and crushed her head. The people inside the car panicked and got out. I was watching from a distance and saw the woman rise up out of her body and watch.

Then I was talking to the woman. We were face to face and I felt overwhelming love for her. I put my hands on her face and looked at her, smiling. I don’t remember everything we said but I do recall saying to her, “I love you” and my heart overflowing with love for her. We embraced and then I woke up feeling myself settle back into my sleeping body.

Even after I awoke I could still sense the energy of the man from my dream. He was still around me so I asked him again, “What is your name?” I felt a reply and slowly it formed in my mind – Sebastian. The sense at this time was that I was surrounded by love and it’s form is incomprehensible to my human mind. What I see in my dreams and in visions is nothing compared to the true forms of these Beings. I heard, “We are Many” and took a deep breath. Elohim. I knew They would come back. But I was/am so tired, so completely spent energetically, spiritually, physically, emotionally, that the thought of being “crazy” caused absolutely no reaction in me.

I couldn’t sleep afterward, tossing and turning because I was trying to remember as many details of the experience as I could. There were moments when I would drift and get visions, flashes of names or scenarios. I saw the name, “David” written clearly and remembered an entire dream from many nights before. Then I heard Ezekiel, Gabriel, and other Biblical names. I began to hear an old hymnal – Ten Thousand Angels – “He could have called, ten thousand angels, but he died alone for you and me….” I knew I was being told I had angels watching over me.

OBE: Over and Over Again

I almost got out of bed at 5:30am because I was so wide awake but instead I closed my eyes to meditate.

The next thing I recall was being inside a school sitting at a desk. I knew I had missed many classes. There were several “bad” students present. One male student was sent to get my mail and deliver it to me. Yet he didn’t give it to me but kept it and went through it. I went up to him and said, “You know it’s a federal offense to take someone’s mail.” Eventually I got my mail back and pulled out a large, wooden “S”, from inside an envelope. I knew it represented my last name.

My teacher told me that I needed to update my computer. I had a laptop in front of me and told her I had already updated it from home. I went to a seat and sat down for a while after that. The seat reminded me of a seat in a movie theater. As I sat there I entered into a meditative trance-type state. I can’t remember what I was thinking until the vibrations began to wake me from my meditative state. They were super intense, wrapping around me lovingly centered around my heart. I wanted to sink into them and let them take me away, into oblivion, when I thought suddenly, “I’m having a stroke.” Then I realized the energy and vibrations I was feeling were indicative of being OOB. I sat up and out of my dream body and faced myself, touching my own shoulder. I don’t remember looking at my face just being aware of being outside of the body I had just been in.

I immediately felt freer and happier. Looking to explore, I wandered out of the large, movie-theater-type place and into another room. Inside I found a large group of people standing together in formation seeming to be rehearsing something. They were all wearing what appeared to be costumes of other-worldly creatures. Some looked to be from the Renaissance while others looked like fairies or creatures only found in fairy realms. My attention went to a very tall, handsome man in front of me. I can’t remember his costume now but when I saw him I was intrigued. His eyes and mine locked and I smiled. I stood and watched them practice for a while, relaxed and enjoying myself. All of them were a good foot or more taller than me.

Then a young brown haired woman approached me. We knew each other. She began talking to the other me who apparently had followed me into the room. I interrupted their conversation and said to her, “It’s me. She (the other me) is me. You and I know each other, too.” The explanation continued but is lost to me now. Apparently I am able to split off from myself and interact independently of my other selves. This time I remember seeing the other me but now all I remember is a blur of her blue shirt and her shoulder length hair which seemed light brown/dark blonde.

I told the brown haired girl, “Come with me. I want to show you some things.” The girl followed. I was laughing by this time and jumped up into the air with her. I said, “We can fly, you know.” We lifted up and then drifted back down. Taking her hand I lifted her up with me and then we laid on our backs, floating. We glided for a while, facing the ceiling and then going through the windows out into the night. We could see the sky full of stars and I was laughing and singing by this time as was my friend.

We continued to float and then began to fly out and over the fields. I was singing about life and how we as eternal Beings live forever, experiencing lifetime after lifetime. The fields below me turned into giant life stories in the form of realistic books built into the scenery. The hills seemed to come alive with moving pictures of lives from different times and places. I sang, “We do it (life) over and over again….” As I sang I turned the pages of the Earth-book showing life after life after life. I did all of this full of a child-like joy.

It was around this time that I began to come back into my body. I felt the familiar energy of re-entry and my heart was beating rapidly.

A song was in my head when I woke up, “I’m still breathing. I’m still breathing. I’m alive.”

Putting it Together

The “Capricorn” reference was related to the month of December, not the man in the lucid dream. I don’t remember when I realized this but when I awoke I recalled seeing stars in the sky, as if being shown astrology and the time of the year when Capricorn rules. I also recall saying something in astrological terminology to the man. The term I used was “aspect” but I can’t make sense of what I said. All I recall is that I said some aspect would affect me and it is related to Capricorn. My feeling upon waking was that it would happen in December and I felt a bit sad because that time of the month has been bringing all kinds of crap into my life since 2015! I wish I could just skip the month this year rather than face whatever it is bringing me this time around.

I also want to reassure you all that though it appears I am planning my own demise, I do not feel upset, sad or otherwise concerning the conversation with the man in the lucid dream nor did I have any such feelings during the discussion regarding exiting this life. It was just a matter-of-fact conversation, like I got a sneak peek into what goes on in dreamtime – the planning and such.

There was also a message in the lucid dream I forgot to mention. I was told, “You are primed”. I have heard that before and so my reaction was not positive. I understand that it means I have been prepared/prepped for something – a task, situation, or experience.

Finally, there was a return of that familiar E.T. feeling that I have not had in a very long time. It is that multidimensional-connected-Source-Love-Oneness feeling. lol Hard to describe.

Spiritual Restructuring Causes Delays

Hope all my U.S. followers had an excellent July 4th. Unfortunately for me I was suffering through some major lower abdominal cramping all day and through the night. The cramping was similar to IBS cramps and pain, so if you suffer from IBS then you get an idea of how debilitating the pain can be. It comes in waves and while in the midst of the pain one can’t do much except lay down and be still.

The cramping seemed to have nothing to do with anything. I woke up starving and felt fine. After a bowl of oatmeal the cramps started and interrupted my blog writing. They lasted for 3 hours that round, let up and then returned after I ate a small meal of veggie soup. This was the pattern all day – eat something small and insignificant and then have cramping for hours after. I knew it meant I should eat nothing but I get low blood sugar dizzies and yesterday was too busy for me to be in such a state – not only was it a holiday but we had a/c service techs putting in a new unit upstairs. So I opted to eat and suffer through the cramps. I have tons of experience suffering through life anyway. Ha!

By the evening when the fireworks were full-on my cramping eased up and I was able to eat and enjoy the fattening food of the holiday without incident. No, I wasn’t a good girl. I ate like crap and even had two glasses of wine, but the cramping was gone so I figured why not. Well in the middle of the night I was awakened many times by intense cramping. It looks like today I will have to be careful again. Unfortunately we have more a/c techs visiting so I will have to eat something.

Spiritual Restructuring

As for what I was writing yesterday, I opted not to post the entire post. I am still mulling over some things and until I have clarity I will keep quiet. There is something afoot spiritually that I need to process completely before I share my thoughts.

For now, I will say I am going through quite a spiritual ordeal …. the word restructuring comes to mine …. on many levels, most I am not fully conscious of.  What I am aware of is wreaking havoc on my mental state and apparently my physical state as well. I read a blog post from Denise at HighHeartLife recently that validates what I have been going through. Friends on FB also indicated they were experiencing similar symptoms yesterday. I am not receptive to messages from my guides right now, for obvious reason I have already mentioned in other posts, so I feel as if I am going through all this blindfolded.

Mostly I have been suffering through Ego-related upsets and disillusionment. I have been questioning my path, changing my mind about decisions I thought were firm, and struggling with two conflicting realities that exist simultaneously in my universe. It’s like I am going through a mini-identity crisis. As of now, my inclination is to shift back toward a more mundane-focused path and set the spiritual one aside because the spiritual has been inconsistent and unreliable while the mundane has not. Stability is important to me. The spiritual experiences I’ve had, while profound, are sporadic at best, and the Knowing comes on suddenly with great clarity only to vanish as if it was never there. Know, not-Know, Know, not-Know. It is absolutely exasperating, like a fickle romantic interest. Reminds me of the Pisces I dated. lol  I can’t work with that.

Dream: Quitting the Show

I had a strange dream experience the morning of the 4th that I wish to recount.

I was with my group preparing to act out my role in a play (role in life) we were performing. I remember finishing it and then going to the bathroom (renewal). Suddenly the door was blown out (forced acceptance) and off its hinges leaving me exposed. Children (aspects of self) of all ages came in. I said, “Block the doorway, I’m trying to use the bathroom” while sitting on the toilet. They did as they were told but stared at me strangely.

Then I was waiting my turn to go on stage. I remember that I thought the production was over and my role completed. Realizing I was wrong and going back on stage (putting up an act, being false to Self) bothered me. I had forgotten my lines and knew I would have to perform two times, back-to-back. I watched the other performers from backstage and as it got closer to my time I decided to tell the producer I couldn’t do it.

Then I was with a group at a meeting. The producer was talking to the group and about to conclude the meeting when I spoke up saying, “I can’t go do it. I don’t know my lines because I thought we were done.” He said, “We still have two more shows.” I said, “I know but I don’t want to do it.” The producer got irritated and said, “Fine” then said another woman could do it. The woman was pleased. I looked at her and her hair was cut very short like a man’s. She was smiling and excited. I said, “Good. It all worked out for the best then, right?” Then all the others were gone and I was talking to the producer one-on-one. I joked around with him to get him to be less serious and pointing out the positives. He said to me, “Yeah, but I don’t know what we are going to do about Deb.” It felt like Deb was having major issues.

pizza

Feeling happy that I did not have to perform, I began to talk about eating lunch (lacking enlightenment) and said, “When I was younger I use to be able to eat an entire medium pizza (abundance and variety) all by myself. I don’t do that anymore.”

Then I am standing on a path in a desert-like (loss and misfortune) environment walking away from the city (social life/community). A black man dressed in running attire (action/activity) sprinted toward me. He was sprinting at full-speed and his face was painted in camouflage (hiding from Self). In his hand was a hunting knife (lack of control or power). When he saw me he raised the knife up and asked me to get out of his way or follow him. I said I would follow him and he told me to try and keep up. He sprinted off at top speed.

I remember thinking I would not be able to keep up and then finding myself sitting at a table with him. The scene was up in the mountains and quite beautiful. I was completely naked (feeling exposed) and also had dark skin. I looked down and saw very full breasts (nurturing/Goddess). They were so large and full that they touched the top of the marble table. I remember feeling very beautiful.

The man was concerned about finding food and water. Then I was watching the scene as an observer and the woman squeezed her breast and milk (inner nourishment) came out. She suggested they subsist off her breast milk and then leaned down and sucked her own breast. The man said, “I didn’t know you had a baby.” She said, “I didn’t. I just finished my cycle so there is no way I am pregnant.”

The scene shifted and I was back with the group who had been putting on the musical production. I was with a group of women.  My attention was drawn to a table across the room. The black man was sitting with all the men in the group talking about me (as the black woman) and saying inappropriate things about my breasts and what he planned to do with me. The whole table started laughing (feeling insecure). That’s when I realized the groups had separated by gender. Something about that alarmed me.

Experience and Message

Then I felt as if I was pulled suddenly up and out of my dream body. It was as if I was being swept upward toward an unknown source. My energy body felt fluid and without form. The odd, swift sensation surprised me and I jumped into my body feeling disoriented and confused. I suddenly had a full-on memory but I’m not sure when the things I remembered happened. In one I was talking with my friend Sophia. She was asking me to come to Mt. Shasta and urging me to reconsider saying I needed to heal and that she needed my help. I told her I had decided not to go and was very firm about it.

Another memory was of being shown a long list and hearing a man reading from the list. He was listing out my options. He said, “Your next opportunity will be in a year.”

It did not take me long to realize what had been decided. My first thought was, “I opted out.” I actually had awakened in the middle of the night from a prison dream with the same realization, so it was not surprising. There would be no “Independence Day” for me, at least not yet (if ever). I missed the bus.

Dream: Face Painting

I was inside an enclosure. There were several buildings made of a adobe (protection) inside a large, wall (protection) made of the same material. There were also gardens (inner-growth) and paths inside. It felt like a self-sustaining community but at the same time seemed like a prison (restricted movement) in that no one was allowed to leave.

I remember being in charge of several children. One of them had uprooted a small bush (feminine emotions/desires) and left it there. We had to replant (optimism) it.

A woman came to fetch me. She faced me and got out some powder makeup (rebuild self-confidence) in the colors of black and white. She began to put it on her face and I did the same. The end result was as if we had painted our faces white and our eyelids and lips black. The purpose of this was to prepare for a ceremony we would enact together. It felt as if she and I were to have sexual relations. I was pleased about this and somewhat excited.

hyacinth

Dream: Potent Hallucinogen 

I was traveling with my sister toward a large dam (repressed emotion). I remember walking through a flooded (emotion) area. The water was moving in small streams toward the dam and the soil was quite muddy though I never actually saw mud, I just felt myself sinking (slowed movement) as I walked. At the water’s edge I could see a concrete ledge. On the other side was a crystal clear lake. I grabbed a stick fishing pole and cast into the water (confronting repressed emotion). I saw many small fish (insights from subconscious) come up and one took the bait and ran away with it. I was unable to catch the fish.

My sister and I were then inside a house. She had in her purse (identity/sense of self) many different toiletries, makeup and other odds and ends. I remember the purse was large like a duffel bag. I looked inside and found a large, glass tube filled with a clear liquid. I knew it was a drug (escape from life’s problems) because my sister had previously let me taste it but I had not felt any effect. It tasted sweet (self-indulgence) and floral-like. She told me it was a hallucinogen made from a flower. I can’t remember the type of flower (hyacinth maybe) but it was a deep pink color (sex/lust). She had gone around and given people drops of it on their tongue and cautioned us. My sister was then beside me wanting to give me some of the drug to take with me. I found a small container and she put in many droppers worth of the drug. I remember being excited about using it at a later date.

The 8th and the Full-Moon

I’ve been receiving messages about the 8th for a while. I suspect it may have something to do with the potent energies of the full-moon on the 9th. What I have read about this full-moon promises for more inner-conflict for me I think. “This dangerous full moon has the potential to cause serious relationships problems if you let thing get out of control.” I am not looking forward to it.

 

 

Continued Anxiety and More Pushing from My Guides

Yesterday I had another exercise-induced panic attack at the gym. Thankfully, I was dropped off so did not have to worry about driving in such a state. However, I had to wait 15 minutes for my ride which was very difficult.

You may be wondering why I even bothered going to the gym. Well, I had a successful workout the last time so I figured I would be okay. This time I believe it was the confining space of the workout area combined with the intensity of the workout I chose. But I cannot gauge when and what will trigger these attacks and once one is triggered I have to just wait it out.

The positive side to the wait this time was that I was able to sit with the sensations that were causing the fear/panic reaction. The pounding heart was the strongest but there was also a feeling similar to the moments right before going OOB. I was interpreting the latter as dizziness and it created a panic response because I did not want to pass out at the gym. There was also a strong sensation in my chest, like a burning, that caused worry but it was only present when I was in full-on panic mode.

I was able to get comfortable with my pounding heart without a problem and when I did the panic feelings would abate. Sadly, my mind would start to worry about this or that or something would cause me to feel close to going OOB and the panic would come on full-force again. I went through several panic attacks in 15 minutes. It was on again, off again. Only when I was sitting in the passenger seat of the car did I finally calm down.

It was suggested by a FB friend that it could be a Pluto transit and maybe even Uranus causing me to ultra sensitive and open at this time. I told him I would not be surprised if that was the case. However, there is a serious upgrade underway right now and I suspect it is creating the perfect storm of emotional sensitivity in me.

Dream: Puppy Love

I’ve resorted to taking Benadryl at night again for a more restful sleep. It has helped but it doesn’t stop the dreams or guide communication. I am to the point now that I purposefully try and block dream recall. My guides have other ideas, though.

I had a very in-depth, near lucid dream last night where I was again working at a school as a counselor. My assignment this time was to pick up a student from class because his parents were coming to pick him up.

When I arrived at the location it was not a classroom but a large open space where children were all sitting on the floor. Each child was with a mother cat and kittens (transitional phase toward independence) and their job was to watch over them. I remember talking to the kids about their charges and smiling and feeling joy at the tiny kittens stumbling around. They had just opened their eyes and were cautiously exploring their surroundings. I advised the children to watch their kittens carefully because they had a tendency to wander off.

I had to go to the boy’s locker (hidden aspects of Self) to get his things. I was told his locker was #88 (material abundance) and it was located near the pre-school. I found the locker but it resembled a large mailbox (important info about to be received) like you would find at the post office. When I opened it I grabbed his stuff and a plastic bag with what looked like a change of clothes (identity) and lunchbox (preparing for important life event). Then I closed the locker and went to the nurse’s office to pick up the boy.

The nurse (need to take time to heal) handed the boy over to me right away. The boy was about 9 years old and happy to go with me. In fact, it did not take me long to realize the boy was enamored with me. He stayed really close to me and seemed under a spell.

We sat for a moment to wait for his parents. He sat really close to me and rested his head on my shoulder as we talked. I remained very professional the entire time, moving away from him out of fear that a coworker would mistake our closeness for something other than it was. Yet I could feel a strange energy between us. Or was it his energy? I couldn’t tell, but the feeling made me uncomfortable. It made my heart feel very warm and the warmth spread out from the center into my arms, stomach and head.

The thoughts going through my mind was what I recall here, not our conversation. I recognized the energy between us but could not understand why the boy would respond like he was, as if he had romantic inclinations. I was thinking, “Can a boy even have such feelings?” lol  I was also reminding myself that I was an adult and had a certain responsibility as a mentor to children. I could not let my discomfort with the energy hinder that.

Then the boy was handing me a picture. On it was a childish drawing of my face and to the lower left was a large heart. The message he sent was that he was in love with me. I retracted from this, once again wondering if a boy could even feel such things. Then I saw an entire love letter was written alongside the picture. I don’t recall what it said now other than it having tons of misspelled words. I though it sweet but worried the boy would get his heart crushed if I responded incorrectly to the situation.

Then I was meeting the boy’s parents. They were to catch a flight out of the school area and go back home to South Africa (getting down to one’s roots). I remember worrying his parents would be concerned about the attachment this boy had to me but they did not react at all to how he clung to me. I thought for sure they could feel the inappropriate feelings between us, but they obviously couldn’t.

We arrived at the airport but instead of a terminal it was a separate room encased in glass (protection). Inside the room were slides (instability in life or relationship) literally side-by-side. I could see individuals step onto a small, hoverboard-looking thing and then go down the slide really fast. Those that got enough momentum would disappear by the time they reached the bottom, transported instantly to their destination. I knew the boy would be going home to South Africa this way and though it was odd I thought it perfectly normal in the dream, like it was a new mode of transportation that was better than flying.

The boy, who now seemed to be the age of 15, stood with me outside the glass enclosure with his parents. As the time came for him to go he turned and said to me, “We were suppose to meet. I asked for you and you came. It is clear to me that you and I are meant to be a couple.” The energy of his words seemed to flow around my entire body and I could feel his certainty and his love for me. Of course, I was thoroughly confused by the whole thing. I could feel the love from him and the love I felt for him matched it. Yet I rejected the love because of how unacceptable it was. The age gap between us was enormous. He could be my very own child!

Conversation

I was awakened at this point, though by what I can’t recall. As I woke a guide was very close by asking me what I thought about the dream encounter and what I was feeling. My entire chest was warm and expansive and I was a bit confused by the whole dream experience. I don’t remember the conversation word-for-word but the understanding from it was that the dream was to show me what to expect in the future, specifically with the children I would work with. I did not want to consider such connections were awaiting me. How weird would that be? To be a counselor/mentor to students of such a young age and have to deal with not only my own strong feelings of love but also theirs! And to think they would interpret the love feeling as the boy in the dream did and I would have to remain “professional” and retain my mentor role despite it. I do not think I would have an issue with remaining professional but how awkward! Not to mention the internal conflict!

The conversation shifted from there to me resisting ever returning to work as a counselor. Not because of the dream but because it didn’t feel right. I was asked what feels right and my answer shifted the conversation to more uncomfortable issues, issues that I do not want to confront. This guide was super persistent about me doing what I knew I needed to do. He reminded me that my delaying things would not be helpful. He was so damn reasonable, too. Everything he said made sense and was the truth, truth I did not want to accept. I want to do nothing, to keep things as they are despite everything telling me to make changes. So much of the discussion was in why I was stalling. He reminded me that I have the strength, the know-how, the determination, the courage, yet I still do nothing. I understand all of it  – the why, the how, the path ahead – yet I don’t act. He encouraged me to just focus on the next step. Take the next step and then go from there was his advice. I get it, I do, but that step is scary to me despite its being so simple. I can see the other steps. I see too much and the challenges ahead are unwanted. Plus, the feeling that comes with the path is that everything I have worked to build in my life will be destroyed. His response was, “You created it, you can destroy it and then create something new.” I told him I prefer to stay safe, right where I am.

I told him I would rather be pushed than do anything on my own. The feeling from him was that I had already been pushed and done nothing. “How much more pushing do you need?” was his question. The visuals and memories of all the pushing I’ve had came all at once. It was obvious yet I was still trying to talk myself into believing otherwise.

Eventually I said to this guide, “I’ll do it.” This was more of an apathetic statement, not gung-ho at all. He said, “I know.”

Then a song came into my mind. I woke up yesterday with it, too. The specific part was, “If I could reach the stars, I’d give them all to you….” and “If I could turn back time.” I suspect the message is that time cannot be gotten back. The longer I wait, the more time I lose. And the first part is to remind me that I deserve so much more. Sigh. My guides love me. If only I loved me as much as they do.

 

Born to Rise

Eventful night last night. Nothing really out of the normal for me, but interesting at least.

Before I go into detail I want to share this clip from Supernatural because this is the show I’ve been watching to keep sane over the past few weeks. I am especially attracted to the humor in the show. Here’s an example (sorry for the French subtitles):

Dean had just been told he is a vessel for Archangel Michael. Thus his comedic response – Angel condom! HA! Love it! Dean is the reason I watch the show BTW. In the first episode I recognized him but wasn’t sure from where. Discovered he was on Days of Our Lives back when I use to watch it!

Okay, so back to last night’s events….

Kundalini

The first incident of the night was a mini-Kundalini rising. I slept through most of it so it was muted but not enough for me not to notice. I felt intense energy in my lower chakras – the typical Kundalini build-up with sexual undertones. When I woke up the energy was still present.

I was able to recall the dream scene preceding the Kundalini. I was laying on a flat surface with my arms and legs spread out in savasana. I felt the presence of others around me and there was a sense that I was being worked on. The Beings around me were removing a section of my energy field – like an entire layer. When they were done, the only part of this layer that remained was a small, rectangular section right over my solar plexus. The coloring of this section was green and the feeling of the removal of the energy layer was as if tight fitting clothing were being removed, like the removal of a wet suit.

Dream: Death of a Mother and Child

I was in a hospital (healing or giving up control) room asking about a mother who had been in labor a couple of days before. I was informed that both the mother and her newborn died not long after the birth (death of old paradigm). There were visuals of what happened in the explanation. I saw a young, blonde mother holding her newborn up to her bosom to nurse. The baby was crying and suckling but blood (loss of life force), not milk, was coming out of the woman’s breast. It was explained that the baby had a serious genetic illness that caused it to be in pain from even the most gentle of movements. I could see the entire spinal column (strength, could mean “spineless”) of the baby lit up in yellow and saw the pain that it suffered when it moved. When I asked what illness they died from I heard, “the Black Flu” but in my mind I thought, “Black Death” and associated it with that historical outbreak (healing aspect of self).

I was hit hard with an overwhelming grief. The emotion poured out of me so suddenly and with such force that it woke me up. My entire body was arched uncomfortably from the outflow when I woke up and the tears were so prevalent that it seemed I had been crying for some time. The thoughts going through my mind were on the untimely and unfair death of an innocent child and the grief of all mother’s who have suffered through the loss of a child. It is the most debilitating grief one can have.

Dream: Counselor Duties

I returned to sleep easily and entered into a dream where I was a school counselor at an elementary school. There was an awards ceremony (recognition of accomplishments) and I was to present awards to the dyslexic and autistic students from 4th grade.

There was a break and I went to find the restroom (purification). On the way I was fiddling with the cord of my white earbuds (intuition). It was in a knot (interruption in flow) and I was having to undo the knot. I noticed the wire was poking through at one point and worried it would cause it to short out.

When I went into the restroom I noticed I was on the second floor (increased understanding/higher level of awareness) of it. There were two stalls and then stairs that led to stalls on the lower level. There was no wall between the two levels so anyone could easily fall. I used the restroom and left noting how everything in the restroom was white.

Then I noticed a woman walking away from the group. On her back was a blood soaked sanitary pad (end of difficult times). I followed her wondering about it and finally told her about it. She said she knew it was there and reached over and pulled it off and tossed it in the trash.

The scene shifted and I was outside meeting up with a woman. She walked me toward a building and said we had to make a stop at the museum (non-traditional path/risk needed). She asked me to take off my shoes (need to be relaxed) and it seemed like the museum contained fragile, priceless things.

A_whirlpool

Dream: Whirlpool

Much of this dream is lost but the end is very vivid. I had been traveling with my husband in a car. We ended up in Waco and I became exasperated and said, “There is no way we are going to arrive on time now! We are at least 2 hours away!” He reassured me and entered the freeway (life direction/path). When he did, the entire freeway turned into a vast river (obstacles to overcome) that was so wide it resembled a lake. I saw indications that the water was moving rapidly (possible turmoil ahead) and said to my husband, “Be careful. I can tell the current is strong.” Then we were in a small boat (ability to express emotion) and being pulled into a whirlpool (emotional turmoil). The boat capsized (avoidance of the uncomfortable) and I fell out and could feel myself being pulled down into the dark water. The sensation of spinning woke me up.

Dream: Gray Kitten

I was inside a house and in front of me was a tiny, gray (detached/individualization) kitten (transition/feminine aspect/Kundalini) and his litter-mates. I was playing with the kitten and discussing how kittens typically behaved. It was pointed out to me that kittens scare easily. I remember watching the kittens pounce on one another and using my hand to purposefully scare them. At the end I said, “I hope they are all females because males spray when they grow up.” lol

Messages

Throughout the night during my brief wakings I received several messages:

I wondered about the Kundalini dream and heard, “Treatment.” I understood that some heavy-duty energy surgery was being performed on me.

I heard at least three times, “Your work is almost done.” I wondered after hearing this, “Then what?”

The final message I received was, “Born to rise.” I understood this to mean that my entire purpose in this lifetime is to ascend. Yay?