Dream: Kundalini Heart Bliss Returns

I’ve had trouble sleeping for three nights in a row. Sigh. I can’t fall asleep, but eventually do, usually around midnight. Then, unfortunately, I wake around 4-4:30am and struggle to go back to sleep.

I came across an article that warning of coming solar flare activity. The image matched the dates I’ve been struggling with sleep.

Thankfully, it looks like they are calming down, so maybe I will get more than 5hrs of sleep tonight?

On the bright side, during my brief 4-5hrs of sleep last night, I had a wonderful dream.

Before I go into the dream, there is a backstory. As you may know from my previous posts, I’ve been in a kind of “pause” period with very little spiritual activity. The decline has been steady over the last 5-7 years since my Kundalini awakening in 2014-2017.

I’ve been asking for a return of the Kundalini energy, ideally the heart bliss because I’ve really missed it. Of all the amazing Kundalini energy I’ve experienced, the heart bliss is the absolute best. It makes everything….better. I feel Home. I feel completely open, vulnerable and connected to All. 

Dream: Kundalini Heart Bliss Returns

I entered into a dream where I was standing in front of a large, muddy, flooded pond. I was with someone and told them, “I bet you can catch a lot of fish here.” The water was muddy, though, so I thought to myself it may not be the best fishing just yet.

We walked along the side of the large pond towards another big pond in the distance. There was a single-wide mobile home with a chain link fence on our right. The pond came right up to the fence, threatening to flood the yard and home. The female owner of the mobile home was outside and I asked if she worried her home would flood. She said, “No” and pointed to how the home was up on blocks. 

A little boy came running up to the fence gate, opened it up and greeted me with a smile as if he knew me. He was around 3-4 years old with dark hair. It felt like I had brought my child to play with him but I’m not sure. I don’t remember who was with me so it could’ve been my son. 

I continued to walk towards the other pond. The scene changed as I walked and the open field with the ponds quickly turned into tree covered park. Behind me I heard a commotion and a teenage boy came running past. Someone had lost their dog. I walked back to check for it and discovered another dog who was quickly joined by the missing dog. Both dogs were inside a chain linked fence. I yelled back that their dog had returned. 

Turning back, I walked towards a large, VW-looking flat-front bus. Someone had fixed it up and it looked really nice, almost brand new. A man was standing near the rear of the vehicle and I went up to him and asked if it was his. He said it was and that he had fixed it up, a big, proud grin on his face. He had dark hair and a twinkle in his eyes. Something was familiar about him and, like the boy from earlier, I seemed to know him.

We walked around the bus, which had large windows all around. Parked inside I saw a very pricey, sports car. It seemed odd to me to have a car inside a bus and I asked him, “Why not put a bed there?” I sent him a visual of how it would look. 

The scene shifted. We were inside the bus and the man was laying on a bed. The sports car was gone. 

I stood next to him and we talked a while as if getting to know one another. He told me about graduating and going to college. Surprised at his age, I said, “You seem so young.” He replied, “Why does that (age) matter?” In that moment, my view shifted from him to myself and I could see what I looked like. I was female, darker skinned (mulatto), and older, possibly 40’s-50’s. There was an odd sense in this moment and I realized our appearances and everything around me were not what it seemed. 

The man told me that his parents encouraged him to take the bus to the “red light district”. There was a long period of silence. I asked him, “Is that what you want to do?” He seemed to indicate it was not. The sense I got from him was uncertainty. He wanted to make others happy and often did things he didn’t really want to do. 

Then we were closer. I was sitting on the bed next to him and could see he had a bandage on the right side of his face. His face was very clear in the dream but now I only recall it in general. He looked very similar to the Hispanic looking, dark haired man that use to visit me in the early years of my Kundalini awakening.

I can’t recall what we were talking about before, only that I felt a deep connection to the man. He seemed to be in the bed “recovering” and I greatly identified with his story. I remember trying to tell him what I was feeling but I got choked up. The words felt to stick in my threat. My heart was filling up slowly with heart bliss, bringing up a plethora of emotions and they were overtaking me. I did manage to choke out, “I don’t know…..I don’t know what is happening….to me…[long pause, intense emotion]…Can….Can I give you a hug?” He leaned toward me and we embraced. While in the embrace I began to cry – with relief, with joy, with excitement. I was Home.

I could sense the man felt the same. He pulled away slightly, just getting far enough away that our faces were inches apart. Then he kissed me. The pressure in my heart intensified, the emotion growing even more intense. 

It brought back memories of “before”; of when I had the heart connection/twin flame experience. But this time it was far more gentle and flowing. There was no panic. There was no resistance; no runner/chaser dynamic. Just full acceptance. But mostly there was a flood of intense relief and a Knowing in my heart that what I was experiencing was meant to be. I thought, “This is what I’ve been waiting for…” Unfortunately, I became too lucid and though I tried desperately to hold onto the dream, I came slowly back to body awareness. 

I heard my guide say matter-of-factly, “There you go.” 

My heart was still swirling with bliss as I replied, “I wanna go back. Please.” From there I drifed into the in-between a few times where I heard the name “John”. It could be my guide’s name as I’ve gotten that name many times in the past. 

Dream: Lahaina

I was awakened at around 4am by loud thunder. It has been a long time since we’ve had rain in Texas so it was nice to hear. Unfortunately, I couldn’t return to sleep. My mind went to the various dreams I had a few days prior, premonitions of the rain to come. 

Dream: Lahaina

I must have drifted off at some point because I ended up in a semi-lucid dream. I was hovering over two children swimming in a cenote. They appeared to be my sons and memory of a trip with my whole family to Mexico came to mind. The reality is that only my daughter and I went on that trip, yet the alternative memory was just as real to me. I watched my two boys for a while. One dunked the other and the two fought over a high spot in the water upon which one could stand. 

The scene shifted and I was flying over a dirt path in a tropical area. I was aware of not having a body. I was just a point of consciousness. 

I could hear a woman singing in an unfamiliar language, repeating the same phrase over and over. Her voice was calming and the melody soothing. I recognized the language to be native Hawaiian. I heard/thought: Lahaina. I knew instantly that I was being shown something and should pay attention.

The woman continued to sing. I followed the trail to a grassy field overlooking the ocean. 

Then I was watching a group of people. They were preparing to build a memorial. I saw their plans. It was made of concrete and looked like a giant, oval pit with concentric circles leading to the top. I suggested they make their memorial from nature, perhaps digging into the earth, to avoid the use of unnatural, manmade materials. The group listened.

Again, I found myself floating along the dirt path, the woman’s voice singing the haunting melody. I began to cry sorrowful tears. I didn’t know the meaning of the words but I seemed to know that I was in a healing place; somewhere those who had died from the fire had gone to recover. It felt very much like a soul retrieval scenario, except I was not retrieving anyone. 

I followed the path for what seemed like a very long time. The haunting melody on repeat. I cried the entire time. The sorrow, pain and grief was just too much.

Eventually I became aware of my physical body but I did not awaken. I could hear a television from downstairs. It was way too loud and I thought one of my boys must have gotten up in the middle of the night to watch TV. Then I thought, “It’s noises-off.” I knew to ignore the sounds I was hearing. I intended to, and did, but did not go OOB. Instead, I entered a dream where I left my bed, went downstairs and into the living room intent on turning off the noisy TV. The living room was at my mom’s house, though, and the TV was super small. It was also an older TV, like from the 80’s. I grabbed the remote and turned it off, noting the regular TV was gone. I thought, “I wonder what happened to it?” I went to my mom’s room to check if she had the TV. Sure enough, it was mounted on her wall. 

Realizing I was dreaming, I instantly woke up. I cursed missing out on an OBE opportunity. I was just too tired and heavy with sleep.

I shifted in and out of sleep after that. I remember being downstairs and seeing my husband in the kitchen. He was staring blankly through me and seemed somewhat confused about where he was. I could sense a sadness coming from him but didn’t attempt to speak to him. He was asleep and I was not. 

I came instantly back to body awareness, recognizing I had been OOB. Again, I was too tired to take advantage of the opportunity. Sigh. 

Dream Message: Look for the Positive in the Pause

It’s not often these days that I have a dream that lasts most of the night. Nor one that has so much symbolism and a unique message.

Dream Part 1: Clearing the Closet

The dream began at a house that reminded me of the mobile home my dad lived in when I was little (7-8yrs). With me were about four or five others, all “roommates” or so it felt that way. My friend, Angela, was one roommate. I remember feeling like I got along well with most if not all of them. I was proud of this because it is not usual for me to feel comfortable in such a big group. 

In the living room area I met with my friend and told her how people were beginning to call me up just to talk, also something unusual. It was surprising to me but also made me feel good because it is so rare that people want to talk to me about anything these days. 

One of the group members was talking about how they were all counselors and asking how we were all doing with our “work”. I kept quiet, unsure if I should speak up because when I speak it is often followed by an unusual quiet and awkward feeling from groups. I do much better one-on-one. Eventually, I got up the courage to speak and told them how I am trained as a counselor but working in finance. I explained that numbers don’t judge like people do. Numbers are simple and straight-forward. They never lie. People are complicated and numbers aren’t. I felt my words were my truth and then felt relief in knowing my current work was exactly what I needed at this time in my life.

I left the group and walked towards the bedroom but this bedroom was my old one at my Mom’s house. The room had two closets and I opened one up to look for some of my old things. I found that the door had been painted. About six equally sized boxes had been painted on the door panel. The first two boxes at the top were complete. They had images of an owl and seemed to be a storyline. I told my friend it was upsetting to me that someone had taken over the closet without telling me. I could see a long, plastic box on the top shelf indicative of someone’s moving storage. I was looking through the clothing and showing my friend various items while telling her that most of the things in the closet were very old and I needed to sort through and clear the closet anyway. The clothing were little girl’s dresses and various adult women’s dress shirts. My friend left and return telling me she knew who was using the closet and had shared my concerns with them. 

Then the woman who was using the closet came and we talked. I told her that the other closet in the room use to have my dad’s old things in it. I specifically mentioned his scuba gear and how we kept his regulator in there. I looked and couldn’t find it among the other things. The woman said she scuba dived and was a level 2. I said my dad was a master instructor and told her I hadn’t been diving in years because I had no partner/buddy. You always dive with a buddy.

Dream Part 2: Cliff Diving

Then I was standing on a rocky cliff overlooking dark water. The water was quite a ways down. The woman from the closet was with me. I don’t know what we talked about but I still recall thinking of clearing out the closet in my old bedroom and thinking how I didn’t need to hold onto any of that stuff anymore. Then me and the woman both jumped over the side of the cliff. Rather than falling into the water we floated and flew through the sky, never touching the water’s surface. I remember hearing music and singing as we flew together. I was feeling quite high and happy. The woman reached her hands out to me and I grabbed them and she flipped herself over me and then invited me to do the same. I did and continued to sing along with the music. 

Then we were back on the top of the rocky cliff overlooking the dark water. I felt very friendly with her and got a strange questioning feeling from her. I told her I just wanted her as a friend and she said, “As long as I don’t have to listen to jazz music”. I laughed and told her I didn’t like jazz anyway and listed some other types of music – classic rock, alternative, folk, etc. She was in agreement and smiled. 

Our discussion must have gone to scuba diving again because I had a flash of being underwater with the woman and some others. The water was dark but I could see. I was deep down and became concerned that my air was running low. I also couldn’t see the rest of the group. This made me panic and I instantly blinked back to the cliff. 

Dream Part 3: Message to a Friend

I noticed a house across from me and decided to go to it. The house was two stories and had fallen leaves all over the front lawn. I could see some lawn chairs to the left as if there had been or would be a gathering there. I was transported instantly to the front door with just a thought and then, when I decided to go in, a white tunnel opened up. I don’t recall going through the tunnel, just intending to and then I was on the other side in the back yard of the house.

There was a paved path with soft lit lamps that glowed orange-yellow. Again, there were fallen leaves all around. I saw my friend Angela sitting on a bench all by herself, the lamp illuminating her silhouette. She had her hands cupped in her lap and was staring intently into them. I approached her and paused realizing there was a flat, disc shaped object hovering over her cupped hands. I recognized she was seeking guidance and whispered, “Oh, I won’t disturb you”. I walked a short distance away and waited. Not long after she looked up at me, inviting me to approach. Her mood was low and she seemed deeply concerned about something. I paused, waiting for her invitation to speak. She got up and motioned for me to follow her. She said nothing, keeping her head down as she walked. I stayed close, realizing my company was comfort enough.

The paved path curved around and took us into what looked like a college campus. Ahead I could see a kind of pavilion with curved, concrete seating. Others were seated there. My friend went and sat with them. I recognized them to be the same people from the house earlier in the dream with one exception. There was an older woman there I didn’t recognize but who seemed familiar. Her hair was completely white with a few streaks of darker gray. It was long, wrapping around her neck and falling down her chest. Her face showed no emotion and was deeply etched with wrinkles.

My friend sat in the middle facing the group, the old woman sat close to her on her left. She was seeking guidance from the group. She said something about school starting and preventing her from doing something she really wanted to do. There was also a mention of “cancer” but it seemed to hover above the other words as if it was subconscious or an after thought. Honestly, it was like her words floated over her head and were not spoken, if that makes any sense. 

I replied by saying, “When I’m experiencing a pause, I try to find the positive…”, but I was interrupted by the older lady. She snapped at me, saying to me that I had no right to tell my friend to look for the positive in the situation, that saying so was rude or made less of my friend’s struggle somehow. I instantly recoiled, feeling the full extent of the woman’s emotion and immediately began to cry from the onslaught. I told the old lady, “I just meant, ‘Look for the positive in the pause’.” The old lady snarled back at me. My first impulse was to leave but my friend spoke up, telling her old lady friend that she was not upset and valued my input. Before I could leave, the old lady made a loud huffing sound, got up from her seat and left. 

The whole group sat in silence and watch my friend. My friend looked to the group and asked, “Is there anything positive? Can you tell me?” She seemed genuinely curious to know. I still felt awful and was contemplating the old woman’s reaction and energy. I am so use to reactions like the woman’s and remember thinking, “Why does this always happen?”. I recognized the woman was fiercely protective of my friend and that was what caused her to react in such a way. She was also quite possessive. So, her energy onslaught made sense. Even so, I was still reeling from the “attack” and soon woke up, unable to free myself from it.

Considerations

Thankfully when I woke I wasn’t emotional at all. I understood where the woman was coming from and that her reaction was protective and motherly. Mostly, it’s the message I had to give my friend that hit home. This time is, for many, a “pause”. What is paused? I think it may vary but for me, at least, the pause is that I feel spiritually stagnant, as if that part of my journey is on hold.

Other parts of the dream seemed significant. The fact that the first and second houses reflected memory of similar houses in my lifetime is not lost on me. The first house was my dad’s mobile home from way back when I was around 8 years old. So maybe it reflects an area of my life that I still have not cleared? The next home may also reflects a time in my life that may require additional clearing. The closets have yet to be sorted and cleared. The clothing items indicate a time in my youth as well as part of my adulthood, specifically times when I wore dress shirts (probably when I was a teacher). It almost seemed like I was traveling through my life, inspecting certain times that needed tweaking.

Then the whole scene with the woman flying over the water was quite distinct. I wish I had been more lucid! The flying was a blast! The scuba diving portion was a discussion about diving deep into the unknown subconscious and confronting it. I went under the water but my fears kept me from lingering too long. My fears seemed to be running out of air (feeling suffocated or overwhelmed) and losing my group (being alone). I also mentioned how I didn’t do any diving because I didn’t have a partner, indicating I felt I needed help.

The last portion of the dream might be relevant to my friend. I won’t know until I tell her, though. However, the message I gave her was not just for her. I do think many of us are experiencing a “pause”.  

The old lady’s reaction reminded me of why I hesitate to speak. The reactions I get from others can be horribly upsetting to the point that I have to excuse myself so I don’t humiliate myself further by bursting into tears. The end and the beginning of the dream both show me using my voice. I find it interesting that the first left me feeling good because it revealed my truth and the second was the opposite. Just goes to show that I need to feel out the group before I speak.