A Kundalini Dream and Message: Hey Soul Sister!

Unexpected Kundalini dream early this morning along with some messages.

Kundalini Dream

I was with someone who resembled an ex from early on after my divorce. He was the third person I had connected with since my divorce – within that first year actually. In the dream he had taken me to a party where we met with some of his friends. I recall him introducing me to this nice woman who seemed to be the one throwing the party. When she gave her name it was my name, first and last, only my maiden name instead of my married one. She spelled her name with an “e” where mine was with an “a”. What is funny is that when she said her name I saw it in my mind as I heard it which is why I knew it was spelled differently. I laughed and told her, “You have the same exact name I do – my name is also __________”. She laughed and said, “I don’t think I’ve ever met anyone with my exact name. What is your middle name?” I told her and she told me hers was a different name. Still, it was quite amazing to me and I was a bit in awe of it.

Something about my interaction with this “other me” made my boyfriend upset. So, he left me there – “abandoned” was the word I used. I remember thinking, “I can’t believe he abandoned me.” It felt like this man mistreated me quite a bit but what was unusual is that I didn’t seem to mind it. I spoke with the other me for a while after that. She knew I was married and asked how I ended up with a boyfriend instead of my husband. I seemed concerned about it at first and then tossed that worry for acceptance.  I don’t recall my explanation in words but in pictures.

I wandered about the party wondering what I was going to do and thinking I needed to just wait for him to return, I saw people mingling and felt a bit confused and without purpose. I don’t have much memory of this time. I believe I was contemplating why I would even wait for my boyfriend to return when he mistreated me so. It didn’t really make sense that I would want to be with him yet I still did. It was odd and illogical. There was also a sense that I shifted between being male and female and that my boyfriend shifted with me, mirroring me to become the polar opposite of me each time (me – male, him – female and vice versa).

Then, out of nowhere, my boyfriend returned. I went with him willingly despite him being annoyed with me and seeming to not like me much. There was much disdain from him and at times I could feel anger from him even. I remember him demanding that I help him translate messages from God. It was like I was Moses receiving the Ten Commandments. My boyfriend roughly pushed me to the ground and pointed toward a large stone demanding I relay what I saw. I saw messages instantly etched into stone. The letters burned gold as the words appeared. I read them aloud to my boyfriend and I knew they were commandments but they were quite lengthy.

The scene shifted and we ended up in my kitchen near the stove preparing food together. As I prepared the meal he held up a crumb of something and made a snide comment indicating that I was unable to do even the simplest of things right. He had me pressed into a corner facing him and I felt angry in response to his words. At this moment the man, who had previously seemed like an ex-boyfriend, reminded me of my current husband.

While intent on yelling at him in anger I felt this amazing magnetic connection I could not ignore. So I reached my arms around him and pulled him to me. The anger we both felt transformed into this amazing, passionate feeling that burned through my insides, rapidly moving upward with such ferocity that I could do nothing but surrender to it. I remember breathlessly saying, “I love you so much….” as my chakras ignited one by one in the familiar K-fire.

Unfortunately, the intensity woke me up and I lay in bed breathless and wishing I had not awakened. I remember a male voice speaking with me but his words are mostly lost to me now. What I do recall is shifting in and out of the in-between. As I did this the K continued to rise all the way to my crown, lingering briefly in my heart but long enough for me to relish in it. I worried briefly that it would surely kill me if it got any more intense. Yet at the same time I was blissfully intoxicated. All other similar K experiences flooded my mind and body in recognition of my Divine nature.

Strangely, the K energy lulled me to sleep and I entered into another dream.

Dream: Sleep Chamber

In this dream I was sitting in a room watching my sister give a tarot reading to another woman. The room at times looked to be two places – one a large, open space and the other my old bedroom growing up. My sister was having trouble finding the card meaning in the book and I flipped through it to show her. The cards she was using were a deck of my design and ultimately the message was written on the face of the card which I showed to the woman receiving the reading. She was concerned, however, because the card indicated some upheaval. I told her it was just a part of the entire reading, which was a very large spread of many cards and motioned to the entire layout saying, “This is all of you” then pointing to the other card, “..and that is just a small portion of you.” I can’t recall the message now but it was not positive. The feeling I get now is that it represented some kind of major struggle. The card had a massive lion on the front. The card next to it also had a lion but it was just the head of the lion and it was in the right hand corner. I told the woman this was a good sign.

I attempted to stay and mingle with them but their reaction to me was that they were just tolerating my presence and really didn’t want me there. I left, feeling unsettled and repulsed by their behavior. I remember thinking how I preferred to be on my own to just being “tolerated” by others. For some reason it felt like the women were instructed to do this so I wouldn’t feel left out but they wanted nothing to do with me nor did they care to hear what I had to say.

As I lingered alone in my space a black man approached me and came onto me. I remember not minding but thinking how men always did this and noting the contrast between my interactions with the women, who were in pretense, and the overt honesty of the man.

There was another man who came in who was very obviously not right in the mind. He was very friendly with me and eager to share his experiences. He left not long after and went to a large van opening all of the doors. When I approached it he showed me how the front of his van had been shot up with bullets and repaired, indicating he had been through many challenging times.

The dream gets fuzzy but I recall being selected and taken to do my time in a sleep chamber along with others on what I can only describe as a craft of some sort. I was put into a large, double sized bed that was on the bottom row alongside many others. The beds were hanging horizontally from the ceiling like pods only they were not contained but had floral bedspreads and fluffy pillows on them. When I asked how long I had to stay I got no answer but remember thinking it would be a month.

Message: Hey Soul Sister

When I woke I received messages. One was a reminder about human conditioning limiting romantic love to only one person. Another was encouragement to keep exercising like I have been as it is assisting with the K somehow. The final message was in the form of a song – “Hey soul sister”. It seemed like a greeting almost but the song itself is about love which leads me to believe that it is a message from someone who loves me, though who is unknown.

Dream Interpretations

The first dream seems to indicate a review of the past. At one point I encountered another version of me and became friendly with her. Something like this did happen in my past. I met my HS and then merged with her. This resulted in profound change which my “boyfriend” (husband, masculine energies) could not handle so he “abandoned” me only to return much later. He treated me badly, forcing me to help him interpret the “Ten Commandments”. I suspect this part of the dream is relaying how I learned a difficult lesson, one in which I realized I must follow the “rules” of being a human if I want to fit in on Earth. Interestingly, the anger we felt for one another somehow ignited the Kundalini bliss in the end. That in itself seems to be a message that even anger can be transformed into love.

The next dream appears to be a message from my HS to my lower self, indicating that there is much more to me than I am able to see. I experience something I have experienced many times in this life – women pretending to like me but not really liking me or wanting to be around me. I have always rejected pretense and preferred my own company to that of most women I encounter. Yet with men I do not have this problem. Instead they seem to be overly honest and accepting and as a result I get along with them well.

The final portion of the dream could be an indication of how much time I have left “asleep”. To me, to be asleep is to be unaware or unconscious – on autopilot. When I am “awake” I have more spiritual awareness and spiritual experiences tend to increase.

Dream: Mermaid Warriors

This whole week I have gone through all kinds of emotions – anger, frustration, anxiety, concerns, guilt, appreciation, gratitude, love, compassion, guilt, etc. My emotions kept me up at night three nights in a row, mainly because I went to bed upset, usually angry or frustrated. Getting unwanted news right before bed is never conducive of a good night’s sleep for me. lol One night I was told all employees at my place of work had to wear masks to work. Another night a “friend” on FB left a rant on one of my posts where she basically called me a narcissist. Another night my husband told me something that now I can’t even recall. LOL Shows how very, very important it was, right?

I started to dread going to sleep because I knew once I closed my eyes that all kinds of thoughts and emotions would surface. I also knew I needed to meditate, calm my mind and body and allow those thoughts and feelings to surface and dissipate. The anger and frustration I experienced was the worst and I didn’t want to feel it because it made certain sleep would not come. Yet if I didn’t at least acknowledge it, it would seep out of me like icky, black sludge throughout the day – which it did. When this happens I usually piss someone off or step on someone’s toes or, worst of all, hurt someone’s feelings.

All the while I kinda knew, deep down, that my reactions to the world situation right now was purposeful. If I triggered someone, it was not a mistake. If I was triggered it was not a mistake.

In one instance, the one involving FB, I had actually considered deleting a post I posted because I knew would trigger someone. I intentionally left it. I don’t remember knowing why but that was later revealed when someone who I know online blew their fuse completely. This person had been acting this way in the online group she hosted, too, so it was not really a surprise that she lost her cool. I had been witnessing her attack people who did not share her beliefs for some time now, remaining quiet and just observing without judgement. When she attacked me online I actually didn’t even finish reading her post because of the pure contempt oozing out of the first couple of lines. I deleted it without a thought when she began using the term narcissist.

Sadly, the term narcissist bothered me. I ended up convinced I must be one all because of this woman and her judgement of me. My concern – guilt even – didn’t last long, though, because I realized that a narcissist would not feel guilt or concern over being labeled a narcissist! lol Also, my research indicated that I did not fit the bill. I may sometimes have some characteristics of a narcissist (as we all do) but I am most definitely NOT one. Yet all it took was this woman labeling me as one to make me temporarily convinced I must be horribly selfish, unfeeling and manipulative. 😦 In the end, though, it was a good thing because it caused me to take a step back and really look at myself, which was needed, especially now.

You may wonder what it was that triggered this woman. Well, I also had to inspect that about myself. My upset has been over the virus and the resulting fear has infected the population. I had finally had enough of the fear posts on FB, the constant fear mongering on the news and the people in my neighborhood brutally shaming anyone who was not in fear like them. When I blew up on FB I had not yet really figured out the true source of my upset.

Since then I have recognized my upset stems not from any of the above but from this – the current and long-term economic impact and its effects on those who were/are already struggling. Children. The poor. The addicted. The abused. The neglected. The suicidal or depressed. The hungry. The longer the shutdown goes on, the more these statistics rise.

But I needed to look even deeper than that.

I discovered at the root, of course, is my sister and her subsequent return home where she was already very likely to resume her meth habit. But now, with the shelter-in-place orders in effect, her enabling and drug-using husband at her side, and the stimulus check coming her way, well she is doomed. It’s not the virus that will kill her – nope – it’s herself.

I often struggle with letting the people I love make choices I know will ultimately lead them to more suffering or even death. Who doesn’t? It has been a hard lesson for me. I want desperately to take control of their situation, make decisions for them, but can’t. I feel helpless – much like everyone around me is feeling with this virus situation, though not all for the same reasons.

Thus, what my guides have been saying to me lately, “We are all in this together.” Everyone is feeling helpless and everyone is being triggered in their own way.

For me, the solution is to stop looking out at the world as the source of my upset and subsequent “problem”. Rather, I need to accept, once again, that my sister has to make her own decisions regardless of whether I think they are “right” or “wrong”. It is her life. I have to let go and allow her to fall – or rise – as in the end it is her path, not mine. Just as it is for every person on Earth.

Thus, it follows, that my upset with the mask order suddenly vanished. I went into work without a mask but by the time I got home I had decided I was going to make some masks. lol I had been dead set against wearing one and then did a complete 180. The release I felt was extraordinary and…..what fun I had!!!

Looky, looky at what I made!

Image may contain: 1 person

They aren’t perfect but they aren’t bad considering I haven’t touched my sewing machine in almost a decade. And what was I thinking about when I went to bed last night? Was I angry? Were my emotions and thoughts all over the place? Nope. Instead I was thinking about how I could tweak the masks I make next. I was creating. I would much rather be kept awake by creative thoughts than by frustration, wouldn’t you? 🙂

Dream: Mermaid Warriors

Shifting gears to dream-land….

My dreams have been few and far between these days but the ones I recall lately seem to involve ships and water. To give you an idea, previously I was on a sinking ship and rescued by three nuns in a submarine. lol

So last night’s dream was quite bizarre. I was on a dock with others standing next to what reminded me of a Stargate (Stargate movie lovers will know what this looks like). A woman was calibrating it and a blue light was emanating from the center. I was very close and the lady put her hand up and said to me, “No. You can’t use it whenever you want anymore. You have to wait.” My feeling and response was something like, “Oh come on!” I really, really wanted to go through it and it felt like I did it all the time. What is odd here is that the woman called the Stargate a “corral”. I’m not sure of the meaning here except to “confine or bring together”. My feeling is the next event or journey, what I was so eager to go into in the dream, is a “corral”.

Then I was being shown a “crew” that was being gathered together. I was told they were a mermaid crew yet what I saw was a group of women with legs standing together in clothing that reminded me of a warrior, like Amazon warriors. They had in their hands spears and their faces were without expression. There were at least 30 of them.

By this time I realized I was with a man who seemed to be directing me. Probably a guide or mentor. The man was tall, broad shouldered and light haired. He was talking about going to a very upscale restaurant that served foods that were not usual. I can’t remember what the foods were but they were things a sea creature would eat, not a human.


Funny enough, when I woke I was having a conversation with someone asking to be allowed to go right now. It felt that I was about to be taken away in a “ship”. So, my thoughts were, of course, on a space ship type vessel. I highly doubt that I am going to be taken up in a space craft.

The symbolism here seems to be indicating a journey is ahead, one that will gather together a group of like individuals. How we are alike is unknown but based upon my past experiences I would say we have in common this: We are Light Workers/Warriors of the Light.

The mermaids indicate the ability to shift form from creatures of the water to creatures of land. The sea here is intuition and the ability to tap into it as needed. The land here is being human, or better yet Hu-man. Mermaids are symbolic of higher consciousness and being attuned to one’s authentic self. They also represent knowing and following one’s life purpose. The fact that their human form appears warrior-like feels to be a message or a calling to “arms” though not in the way one might think. It is more of a presence or a duty.

The man says of the food served at the restaurant that there is no use eating it if the restaurant doesn’t prepare certain foods a certain way. My feeling on this is that I am being asked to “eat the right food”, meaning to nourish myself with things that will strengthen me rather than weaken me. I am being asked to be mindful of what “foods” I eat. My first thought here is that I need to pay attention to what media content I am looking at – not just news media but any information being brought to me right now.

I feel blessed to have had this dream. It is promising but also cautionary, advising that while we wait, we be careful of what we consume.




Dream: Saturn Meets Pluto

Interesting dreams lately, one in particular I think I should recount.

Dream: Saturn Meets [Conjunct] Pluto

The dream location was in space amidst the stars and planets. I was traveling with a companion feeling very interested in what we were doing, which was writing/creating a story based upon the stars. I could change location with a thought and did this every so often to explore the story line.

There are many details lost to me now but some are very prominent in my memory. I remember flying up to a planet and saying to my companion, “….when Saturn meets Pluto”. As I said this, I saw the planet Pluto moving toward me and watched as the entire solar system of planets was shifting around to where the planets closest to the sun were now farthest and the planets farthest were now closest.

Pluto was my focus most of the dream and I actually shifted my position and ended up on the surface of the planet for a time. While on the planet I was talking to many others as if we were children creating an interactive story. In the story, Pluto was a planet where people were sent for a time, like a prison, and the word “prison” was actually used here. The planet looked much like pictures I have seen – a barren, gray rock.

I watched as a person was given their ration of food. It was in a cup and they took a drink but what was inside wasn’t a liquid but instead looked like metal rods. The rods looked like tiny splinters – sharp and silver and most definitely not something a person should eat! The person did not drink the metal and as I watched I shifted positions and took the perspective of the person holding the cup and not drinking.

I vaguely remember discussing Jupiter conjunct Pluto, also, as well as other planets. It was like I was getting a lesson on astrology.

Dream Message and Symbolism

In that instant most of the dream fades from my memory and I struggle even as I type this to fill in the gaps. Parts will surface only to vanish when I try to contact the memory. My best guess is that I am not meant to remember the details and am suppose to focus on the feeling of the message the dream was meant to relay.

The feeling I had here was that I was being told of a circumstance or event where the entire solar system will be flipped or turned upside down. I don’t think this is literal but more an analogy of what is happening or will happen. The solar system is likely symbolic of the Collective and what is happening here on Earth.

The other part of the message is about the planets. There is most definitely an astrological message here, which I explored the minute I woke up. This message revolves around Saturn and Jupiter conjunct Pluto.

Being I am not an astrologer, I have to rely on the internet to decipher what these conjunctions even mean. What I read, though, makes a whole lot of sense and goes perfect with the dream content.

Saturn-Pluto relates to the established power structures and ruling elite versus the common people, nuclear events and restriction on many levels. Source

In 2020, Jupiter and Pluto will form conjunctions in Capricorn as follows:

  • April 5th: Jupiter 24 Capricorn conjunct Pluto 24 Capricorn
  • June 30th: Jupiter 24 Capricorn conjunct Pluto 24 Capricorn
  • November 12th Jupiter 22 Capricorn conjunct Pluto 22 Capricorn

These unusual patterns spell opportunity and change. They also spell the downfall, very specifically, of any person, group or organisation which had total control before, or was abusing power. Source

Unfortunately, I don’t have much time to really delve into the astrological significance of these conjunctions at this time. So I must rely on my feelings about my dream and the message it relays.

My gut feeling says that this year – 2020 – is a year of extreme changes that span multiple areas of life, both personal and collective. We have already seen this with the Corona Virus but the feeling is that the virus is just the tip of the ice burg. The changes going on under the surface are and will breed significant changes in the weeks and months to come, all of which you can bet will push us as individuals and as a world population to our limits, forcing us to rethink and alter the systems, beliefs and patterns that have ruled our lives up until this point.

The part of the dream where Pluto is the a prison planet and the person is about to drink razor blades feels significant to me, also.

Pluto is the great revealer, but often there’s a dark night before the rebirth. Pluto brings to mind purging, exorcising, and releasing buried power or core truths. It’s the planet of creative destruction, and transits can feel like extended ordeals. Source

To me, the fact that I become the person holding the destructive drink and do not drink relays the message that awareness is ultimately attained and destruction is avoided. This could be a personal message for just me, or more likely a message about the Collective.

The planet being a prison is evidence of Pluto’s significance here. We create our own prisons in life. Truthfully, everything we experience is of our creation, even the worst, most traumatic ordeals. So it seems that 2020 is acting as a Dark Night of the Soul for the entire world right now, especially those who have remained asleep (as in versus “awake”, “aware”).


What I find most interesting is that when I awoke this morning I had a realization about my sister.

She is currently in the hospital again after being sent home only to return a couple of days later with shortness of breath and high blood pressure. Turns out she had water around her heart. The doctors fixed his but the medications caused kidney dysfunction and so they have been holding her at the hospital until her kidney function improves. Once that happens they will release her to continue to take antibiotics because the infection on her heart valves still has not cleared.

My mom, who is 71 years old, had agreed to let my sister live with her while she recuperates under the condition that her husband doesn’t visit. This is not only to keep my sister from getting her hands on more meth, but also to avoid her husband exposing my mom and step-dad to the Corona virus. Until yesterday, this was plan, but sadly my sister’s husband came to the house and picked up their son. My mom told both of them that my nephew cannot come back to stay with her until the virus is not a threat. That same day my sister told my mom she wanted to go home and stay with her husband in their RV for a few days once she is released. My mom told her if she does that she will not be allowed to come stay with her and my step-dad.

The most likely scenario is that my sister will go home and then beg my mom to give her a second chance because conditions at her RV are deplorable. My mom is set against the idea and I don’t see her giving in. So, my sister will probably return to meth with the help of her husband and their son, well, God help him.

The realization I had this morning involved an understanding of the dynamics of my sister’s co-dependent relationship with her husband. What popped into my mind was this:

Munchausen syndrome by proxy: A parenting disorder in which the parent either fabricates an illness or induces an illness in their child.

From this I made a connection. My BIL, who has struggled his entire life with self-esteem issues, has been keeping my sister dependent upon him so that he can continue to remain in his caregiver role. This makes perfect sense because he has never been able to find purpose in his life and has long struggled with low self-esteem and self-destructive behavior. Then my sister comes along and he feels he finally has found his purpose – take care of her, be her knight in shining armor. The only problem is that when she is not dependent upon drugs she doesn’t need him and is very independent. So, he enables her to keep her dependent upon him. It is not technically Munchausen syndrome, but it is close.

I am not saying my sister is innocent, but she is like a child in this case. She wants to be taken care of and thrives off of the attention (and the drugs) she gets. She would likely shower her husband with love and affection when he provides her with her drugs and reinforce her need of him. My sister benefits by not having to work or take responsibility for her life. She is allowed to do what she pleases and her husband gets to feel needed.

Though the situation is sad, I was relieved to finally see it more clearly. Whether this has anything to do with my dream, IDK. Perhaps it is a part of it, one of the many stories the Collective is running through at this time. Whatever the case, I hope that the path they choose is the one that leads to healing, wholeness and recovery.





Message: Transfiguration

A couple of days ago I awoke hearing a voice whisper: “Transfiguration”. At first I thought I heard “trans-configuration” and maybe I did, but in Googling it I struggled to find an actual definition except for one used in organic chemistry. Being I woke up thinking about the Corona Virus and it’s potentially devastating effects on the future, I believe the message is in reference to what lies ahead. A date, perhaps? Or a warning?

First, the organic chemistry definition of trans-configuration.

trans configuration. [-kənfig′yərā′shən] Etymology: L, trans + configurare, to form from. 1 an arrangement in which the dominant allele of one pair of genes and the recessive allele of another pair are on the same chromosome. Source

If this is part of the message, I have no idea what to make of it, mostly because I am not familiar with organic chemistry. It could be referencing the virus or human DNA or both.

As for the definition of transfiguration, it is typically a Christian term used to describe an event in the Bible. Even though I was raised as a Christian, my specific background did not celebrate the Transfiguration so I had little knowledge of the event and its significance.

You can read more about the Transfiguration in a Google search of your own if you do not know much about it. Or you can read this articleto get a general idea of it.

The Transfiguration was a special event in which God allowed certain apostles to have a privileged spiritual experience that was meant to strengthen their faith for the challenges they would later endure. But it was only a temporary event. It was not meant to be permanent.

In the same way, at certain times in this life, God may give certain members of the faithful (not all of the faithful, all the time), special experiences of his grace that strengthen their faith.

We should welcome these experiences for the graces they are, but we should not expect them to continue indefinitely, nor should we be afraid or resentful when they cease.

They may have been meant only as momentary glimpses of the joy of heaven to sustain us as we face the challenges of this life, to help strengthen us on the road that will–ultimately–bring us into the infinite and endless joy of heaven.

So, the message may only be for me, or it may be for us all, or both. I will take from it what I need, regardless. I have been blessed to experience such glimpses in my life and I have been guilty of expecting more glimpses of “grace” and resentful when they do not come. So, for me, the message is clear, but is there more to it? Something more all-encompassing?

I did a search on when the Transfiguration is celebrated. Typically around August 6th, two days after my birthday. So this message could be referring to a date – but I won’t be chomping at the bit for that date to come around, anticipating something “profound”.

It could also be referencing the actual time the Transfiguration was said to occur, which would be around February or March. The best timing of this would be Lent, which this year goes from February 26 to April 11th.

Lent is a time that offers us an opportunity to come to terms with the human condition we may spend the rest of the year running from and it brings our need for a Savior to the forefront. Like Advent, Lent is a time to open the doors of our hearts a little wider and understand our Lord a little deeper…. Source 

I find it interesting that the time period of Lent almost perfectly coincides with the Corona Virus outbreak and all that followed. Many were sent home with nothing left to do but be alone with their thoughts which may have turned into a kind of forced introspection for some, which may or may not have been welcomed and accepted.

So all in all, this message seems to be a positive one, even with the organic chemistry term included. Maybe, if we just take the time to be silent and listen, we will find God’s grace within this darkness?

I forgot to add that the message of “transfiguration” was nearly forgotten except that my husband played a song and the message suddenly popped into my head with a feeling of near urgency behind it. This is the song he was playing:

The song makes me emotional. Not only that, but I can’t help but acknowledge the message sync here – Rise Up – the death and resurrection of Jesus – the death and resurrection of Self – the Transfiguration.

And with that I am reminded that I was also told early one morning, “You are not alone.” Remember, even in our darkest moments, in Earth’s darkest times, there is Light – Us – and we are NOT alone.

I Am Not Afraid

Hope all of you have been well despite the hoopla created by the Corona Virus around the world.

Me and my family are doing well. Not much has changed for us. My husband and I still go to work. I still work from home most days and go into the office 1-2x a week. My husband is there every day. We work in steel fabrication of public works so nothing has changed really except that our shop workers have been limited to 10 people per shift. So we opened another location so they could keep production levels up. Those who are considered most at-risk for getting the virus have been cleared to work from home or have been given extended leave (paid). Thankfully, we are a strong enough business that we can do this for as long as needed. Most want to continue working because – a productive person is a happy person.

The kids have been home since March 14th and started online learning last week. They, of course, want to start on their work first thing in the morning which can make it hard for me to juggle three kids and working, but I do it. My experience as a teacher and school counselor has definitely assisted me with this! The kids love school this way for the most part but my middle child wishes he could go back to school. Bless him.

My mom and step-dad are at their country home living life as normal and not afraid one bit about the virus despite both having underlying conditions. They are both bummed that their social outlets have been cancelled, though. They are avid church-goers and also participate in a choir. I do hope that this shelter in place ends soon so they can resume their activities. It is much worse for an older person to be isolated than a younger one. Thankfully they are able to watch my nephew during this time to keep busy and active.

My MIL is not concerned about the virus and still comes by to visit and goes about her daily activities. She likes to inform us how her siblings are freaking out about it, though.

I’ve noticed when I’m out and about lately (shopping for groceries or driving to work) that there seem to be more people on the roads than a week ago. There are also more patrol cars. When I am in stores the mood is less tense, which I welcome. I was avoiding the stores not because of possibly becoming infected but because people were so full of fear that it would make me anxious and/or ill. So I guess I was scared of getting infected –  infected by fear! It is nice to go out and not feel that. Perhaps all the fearful people are hunkered down at home, terrified to go outside?

My daughter informed me that her friends are referring to this virus as the “Boomer Remover”. I almost choked on my breakfast when she told me. I later told my “Boomer” MIL about the name and she burst out laughing. So refreshing to have laughter during such “serious” times. 🙂

Sleep and Dreams

Some other good news is that I have been sleeping really well since last Friday. Yay! No more difficulty going to sleep. No more frequent wakings. Just, deep, restful, dream-filled sleep.

With the increased sleep I have been feeling that “not alone” feeling in the night and during the evenings before sleep. Not knowing who or what the presence was, I say my prayer of protection and drift into dreamland. A couple of nights ago, though, I woke suddenly and saw my Himalayan salt lamp had turned on by itself. It freaked me out a bit but I got up and unplugged it and went back to sleep. Then last night I woke hearing someone say, “We have been watching you.” lol My response was, “That’s great………..” lol

I’ve had a few dreams of note.

In one dream I was at the doctor’s office getting a check-up. The doctor was Dr. Now from My 600lb Life, which was very strange! He was giving me a breast exam and talking to me about an upcoming surgery. He then got out this strange instrument and pressed it into the area just below my ribs, where the ribs meet. He told me he was trying to hook it into my esophagus. I told him it hurt and he suggested I take a small pill that would make me feel spacey and not feel pain. I asked, “Can’t you just do a chest x-ray?” He nodded and said he could. I told him, “I think I had one done in 2011. Maybe you could get my records?”

There was more to the dream but that was the part that stood out. My take on it is that I was getting spiritual work done on my solar plexus in the dreamstate.

In another dream I was back at school, at a college. I recall walking up to a dorm room and standing at the door, #224. I unlocked it and went inside. It was full of young women. Some were sleeping, others sitting together and talking. I sat on my bed and then tried to get some sleep but one of the women kept talking to me. She asked me when I wanted to schedule my internship in the advanced education field I had opted to study – another Master’s degree in teaching. I told her that I had changed my mind and really didn’t need to or want to do it anymore. For some reason I mentioned Montana and how I hated the cold, blustery winters but loved the beautiful mountains. When I spoke of Montana I got a very dreamy feeling and kept wanting to go back to sleep.

My feeling about this dream is that it was me considering yet another path or lesson in this life. I decided it was not what I wanted to do. The mountains and Montana represent a spiritual destination – could be Home or a feeling resembling Home. The sleepy feeling I was having indicates an avoidance and lack of awareness. It is a preference to remain unaware, comfortable or without the knowledge this new lesson could bring.

I’ve had many, many other dreams and dream encounters but most are lost to me now. Once I wake they fade quickly because I have so much to do during the days now – schooling my kids takes up most of my morning. So dreams and the spiritual have taken a back seat to life. I have brief memories of some Kundalini energy here and there, but it is hard to recover.

The Future

My gut feeling and intuition about the Corona Virus pandemic is that most of the fear mongering and Collective fear-based reactions will lessen once we get into the summer – June being the turning point. I don’t feel this means the virus will be “beaten” but that the fear will have abated for the most part and interest will be more on rebuilding and getting back to focusing on living rather than on death.

A quote has been coming to me whenever I think of the quarantine and shelter in place rulings being made all over the country. That quote is, “Every man dies. Not every man truly lives.” You may recognize it. It is from Braveheart.

Hunkering down, waiting out this virus for fear of death is no way to live. A person can only live in fear so long before it consumes them entirely leading to full-on apathy or full-on rage. These are the two directions the emotion will take most people. Prolonged fear and living in the fight-or-flight condition can and will lead to illness and death. Many people lived in complacency and/or apathy prior to this virus. It is likely they will return to that. Some will “wake up” from this experience, most will not.

My hope is that people will at least learn that living in fear is no way to live and recognize just how much fear has dictated and continues to dictate their life and decisions. Maybe for some this will be the “wake up call” they need to change?

We are eternal Beings. The body is just a vessel, something we use to experience the high’s and low’s of life. It is guaranteed that we will suffer while we are in the body. It is also guaranteed that the body will die.

I continue to be reminded by my guidance to “Follow the 8 Winds”:

The “eight winds” are eight influences that agitate and inflame the human heart and mind.* They consist of four favorable circumstances (prosperity, honor, praise, and pleasure) and four setbacks (decline, disgrace, censure, and suffering). Their contents are roughly as follows:

Prosperity: to obtain what one desires

Decline: to suffer loss

Honor: to be admired and praised in one’s absence

Disgrace: to be criticized and defamed in one’s absence (behind one’s back)

Praise: to be admired and praised directly

Censure: to be criticized and defamed directly

Pleasure: to be happy in body and mind

Suffering: to suffer in body and mind


The key to overcoming these is to find balance through non-attachment. You can read more here.

Currently, with the fear of the virus being propagated everywhere, the main attachment people are having is to life via their body. Meaning, they don’t want to lose their body or suffer the pain that may or may not come with it. Others are fearing the loss of loved ones – so they are attached to others and what those others bring to their life.

I am not afraid of my own death or the death of anyone else in my life. I know if I lose a loved one that I will grieve but I also know they are not truly gone, just in another place, a place I am able to contact when I choose. Similarly, others in my family are not afraid because they know what I know. We know pain and loss are possible, but we don’t dwell on it. We choose to operate in the moment, day to day, without fear of “what if”.

The quote above still echos in my mind as I type this. What is it to truly live? I know, for me at least, it means to live from my heart, without fear, taking life by the horns and riding that bull until the very end.

One thing is for certain, though, “it [all things] will pass.”