This morning I awoke at 5am for my morning briefing. This time, however, the old me was very vocal and disagreeable. I had difficulty controlling her and since she demanded to go OOB, I agreed to assist her.
The first few OBEs were short and very heavy in feeling. There was also very little vision and what vision there was had dark shadows draped across it. Throughout these OBEs I was very much separate from my old self while also experiencing the OBE from her and my own perspectives.
In these dark, shadowy and heavy OBEs the subject matter appeared to be controlled completely by the old me. The location was at my/our mother’s house in all cases. Interestingly, the OBEs of my old self were very dreamlike and symbolic in nature, revealing areas yet to be resolved and in need of sorting through.
In between each OBE, there would be a return to the body and instruction would be given to me while the old me would insist on going back OOB. She listened to the instructions, though, and focused upon her heart which sent her instantly back. It was during these moments where she would listen that I was able to rejoin her and regain control.
Meeting my Council and Bad News
On about the fifth exit from the body I had successfully reeled in the old me. As soon as I was able, I began to chant OM to pull me out of the heavy, shadowy environment the other me had been stuck in. The OM worked right away and the heaviness lifted and revealed my mother’s living room.
I went to the door, still chanting, and opened it. I was greeted with a fantastically vivid sunrise and a chorus of deep voices chanting OM. It was so absolutely beautiful that I stood there and absorbed all of it. I felt as if my entire being was lit up from within and all remnants of the heaviness and distraction of the old me vanished.
I said to the voices, “Thank you!” and then resumed chanting OM as I walked around in the front yard surveying the scene. I knew instinctively to pay attention, something was about to happen.
As I walked and chanted I was interrupted by a thought that was not my own telling me that I was chanting it too high. Without intending to, I immediately changed the tone of OM but it was so low that it sounded wrong. I replied back to the voice, “I’m sorry, it’s just too low for me” and then resumed chanting at the higher pitch.
As I walked toward the back area I noticed what initially appeared to be massive white statues of men sitting on large, throne-like chairs. I knew I needed to go there and continued toward these odd statues. As I did, the statues came to life and began to move toward me. I slowed as they approached and looked at each of them closely.
They were wearing what resembled the robes of professors from universities of higher learning. The robes flowed to the ground and around their necks was a sash. Some robes were white, others were black and the sashes were different colors from the robes.
The beings wearing the robes, however, were unique and amazing to me. I stood open mouthed as they walked passed and acknowledged me one by one. I recall one of the men had a square jaw and flowing blonde hair that went to his shoulders. He was wearing a white robe with a sash that was gold. He was talking to three others in white robes and all of them towered over me by at least two feet.
I felt I knew these men (they all appeared male at this point) and so attempted to communicate with the next group that came by me. This group was larger, made up of perhaps five or six, and most were wearing robes of a darker color and brightly colored sashes.
One of them stopped and looked quizzically at me. I don’t remember now what I said to him but he said to me, “What are you doing here? Aren’t you supposed to be resting?”
This individual was tall as well, but not as tall as the three who walked by first. His hair was dark and also long and he was wearing a black robe with a red sash and carrying what appeared to be a very large, leather bound book.
The members of his group paused and then continued on their way. Two others came up from behind and stood with him but I did not notice them at first.
I told him, “I just wanted to visit. I like being here. It is so wonderful”. I then approached one of the other two who had come to stand behind the dark haired one. I went up to her and put my hand on her face and said, “I can see you so clearly and I can feel you. I can feel your skin”. I touched her face with the back of my hand and reveled in the feeling. I felt so at ease and connected to her, to all of them. I remember that her face appeared both masculine and feminine but she seemed feminine which is why I say “she”.
At this point I was transported to another place where I was being shown what appeared to be moving pictures on a screen with a top reel and a bottom. The bottom was moving and full of the color green. The top was bluish in color and stable.
I recognized instantly that I was viewing the life of one of my group. I said, “Stephanie” and wondered briefly, “Is that my name?” Then I Remembered and knew.
I was filled then with information and knew that Stephanie had not made it. She had committed suicide in an attempt to escape the transformational changes she was going through. I felt such sadness for her and sent healing to her. I also knew that she was not alone in the difficulties she was facing and that many others were struggling with the changes happening on Earth. I wanted to help so very badly, but there was nothing I could do.
I then began to wake up and as I did I heard, “Integrate. Keep the Ego close”.
I spent most of the morning feeling I should not write out this OBE but not knowing why. Eventually, though, I felt I should and so did. After I finished, I left the house and drove to the store. As soon as I pulled out of my driveway I was hit with such an intense grief at the loss of my friend, Stephanie, that I almost had to pull over. I felt I could not function. All I wanted to do was curl up in a ball and cry.
The old me was/is confused by this sudden onset of grief for someone she never knew. It is a humbling feeling to know that one so great, so strong, so powerful in heart and so determined in their mission, would fumble and take such drastic measures. There is a part of me that feels I failed her, or maybe it is that I feel her failure as my own. It is hard to describe but it is grief through and through.