Changes, Projects and Ideas

The energy since May 31st has been distinct. My third-eye has been active for pretty much this entire time. Sometimes it is like I am wearing a headlamp. It feels like a beam of energy is shooting directly through the back of my head and out my forehead. Pretty cool but then distracting all the same.

My sleep has also been interrupted. Usually every two to three hours. Each time I wake I feel like I have slept all night and am always surprised when I discover so little time has really passed. Dreams are vivid as well with an in-flow of guide communication and Knowing.

Yesterday and today I’ve had a feeling that I need to do something but nothing quite feels right so I end up doing very little. A download is in progress yet this one is distinctly different from downloads of the past. It feels as if I am awaiting instruction or a go-ahead on a future direction/path.

Meanwhile I’ve begun changing my diet and exercise routine. It is not a major change for me. More of a tweaking here and there. In one of my dreams I was shown how food affects the energetic body. I saw the food as color streaming into the energy body and noticed how the aura reacted to it. The greener and more alive the food, the more alive it made the energy body. The more “dead” the food, the more it deadened the energy body. I recall seeing meats affects on the energy body most vividly. It went in as a dull, almost brownish red and tended to draw energy away from the energy body, “dulling” it.

What I brought back from dreamtime was that I needed to shift my diet to a more vegetable based one. Yes, again I got that message. I think my guidance thought if they gave me a visual of the energy it would cause me to make drastic changes to my diet. So far, I haven’t. My main issue is finding reliable sources of protein that also taste good. In my dreams last night it seems I was being told to look into pea protein because I had a bowl of green peas I was eating. lol Yet I can’t imagine eating pea protein in place of a filet of fish or a turkey burger. For now I have returned to eating clean, limiting my carbs to complex ones only (oatmeal, sweet potato, brown rice, sprouted grains) and increasing my intake of vegetables. Meat will remain in my diet but sparingly to include only lean, organic meats (excluding pork). Salmon will not be on this menu and really I will avoid most fish and shellfish because of the toxins they contain.

I am told these changes, while helpful, “will not do.” Ha! Well, then.

Physically, I am changing the amount and type of exercise I do. I became quite lethargic during all the emotional purging and really slacked off. Plus, anxiety and panic attacks were driving me away from the gym. Still not sure if I am going to go back to the gym. I tried one day and though I survived without incident I did not enjoy it. Something about the gym energy is really wreaking havoc on me. Probably I am just too open and susceptible to others’ energy while in the midst of exercise.

Spiritually I am being drawn toward astrology for some reason. I have always been interested in astrology but ever since the beginning of May I have been reading every astrology blog and article I can find. I want to know how they know what they know. lol So I am going to get some lessons from a friend so that I can know what they know and not feel like such an astrological numskull.

I am also being led to do more YouTube videos. I recently discovered Movie Maker. I had it all along on my computer but had never activated it (duh). Currently I am working on creating videos for each of my meditations. I have received comments from individuals saying they could not upload the audio files I have available for free on my blog. So, now they should have no problem with incompatible formats or whatever message they were receiving. It will take me a while to complete all of the meditations but they will be posted as I complete them. You can access them via the meditation link in the upper, left-hand corner of my blog’s home page.

I aspire to eventually create lessons or teaching videos. This would mean learning to add slides to my videos and/or actually streaming live classes which I later upload to YouTube for those who missed the live stream. I have the ability to do this and some know-how but I am somewhat blank on the topics to teach or discuss in the videos. A friend has invited me to be a facilitator and do live streams twice a month. I have agreed to sign on when the website is complete. The site is called C.S. ONE-CyberCOM and I will be participating in the The Conscious Community InterNetWork.’ I will provide more information on the dates and times of the live streams when they are available.

So, I need some practice prior to beginning these live streams. Suggestions are welcome.

I do have one idea that was brought to my attention recently by one of my blog community. I have been asked to make a custom pendulum. I’m super excited about it not only because I enjoy making them but because it gives me an excuse to visit the crystal and gem shop nearby. My daughter wants to make one with me. She is my collaborator. lol Anyway, my idea is to film the making of the pendulum as a how-to video for those who would like to make their own. Yeah, big project with a large amount of editing. Not sure how I will do it the way I want to but the idea makes me happy so I will explore it and see what comes of it.

I may also do another video showing how to use a pendulum for chakra clearing and balancing.

Really, there is no limit to what we can create and accomplish and I plan to explore those things that bring me joy. Teaching is one of those things, especially teaching subjects I love (the metaphysical, occult, spiritual, psychological – and everything therein). When I stand in front of a crowd as a facilitator I feel empowered. I get goosebumps and psychic chills. I literally SHINE. It is where I belong.

Rose Quartz Pendulum

Rose Quartz Pendulum with Rose Quartz, Clear Quartz and Cork beads

Carnelian Pendulum

Carnelian Pendulum with Carnelian, Clear Quartz and Citrine beads

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LaLa Land

Today feels so random to me. That’s probably why I keep forgetting things. For example, I didn’t know it was Tuesday or what time it was. When I looked at the clock and saw it was almost noon I did a double take. Huh? Then, suddenly I came back to myself (where had I been?) and realized not only had I missed a meeting for my daughter at the school, but I had forgotten to pay a bill and misplaced a check! So for about thirty minutes I was in a tizzy trying to locate myself in this body and place long enough to get a grip. LOL

The forgetfulness is becoming more and more common. It is not just forgetting to do things, it is forgetting days of the week, time, people, responsibilities, etc. It’s not that I don’t care, it’s more like I just don’t think. The bill I was suppose to pay, that would have never happened two years ago. I would have paid it in advance and checked it off in my mind as “done”. And the missed meeting? I would have been there and not needed a reminder. Now I just don’t seem to have those mental bookmarks. They’re gone. Vanished. I misplaced my mind somewhere….

Another thing that doesn’t happen is I don’t get overwhelmed and angry at myself for forgetting things like I use to. The bill today will be late. We will get a $25 late fee. The old me would have spent hours angry at herself for screwing up and wasting money, etc. The new me? I think, “It’s just money. What’s done is done” and move on back into my little happy place. Hehe

I try not to think of all the late fees I’ve accrued in the past year. Not to mention completely forgotten debts, appointments….thoughts. Eek! LOL

I’m a much happier person for the absentmindedness. I don’t miss how I use to be.

What do I think about now days? Hmmmm. Food. lol Well, not just food, but I like to cook and then eat it, so yeah, food. Today I’ve mostly been thinking about how super excited I am for no reason at all. I’ve been trying to put my finger on the reason but all that comes up are random happy thoughts. For example, I made this awesome cabbage soup last night (yeah food again) and was thinking how great it is and I am for making something so great. Other things that make me happy are nature. I love it outside and have been outside a lot lately. It feels like Spring. Blue skies, temps in the 70’s, birds singing. I close my eyes and feel the breeze and just sit in the sun, soaking it up not really thinking about anything. Then I think how awesome it would be to have a friend to share all these happy things with and then that passes and I am back to just Being, soaking up the sun and hugs from my son. I thought briefly about making a video of being happy and then just laughed at myself. I just don’t feel like doing anything or thinking anything. I just want to BE. Ever tried it? It’s amazing!!!

So see why I am absentminded? Getting caught up in happy all the time can make you forget stuff, well the stuff that isn’t important anyway. Like bills….lolol

Which brings to mind the spiritual stuff alongside my happiness. A night or so ago I was outside and got a visit from Habib. LOL Whose that? I don’t know, some man in spirit who paid me a visit. He was super close, on my left, as if talking directly in my ear which meant his voice was audible more than normal and very deep. He spoke slowly and gave me advice. What? I don’t know now. Something spiritual, my mind is blank…Ha! Anyway, he came and then left and one of my guides said, “Did you forget you could do that?” What? Hear Spirit? Nah, just didn’t expect some foreign dude named Habib. lol Then there was this “understanding” that it might be a good time to revisit some of my left-behind abilities and skills.

Lo and behold I have been contacted twice this week for assistance. Twice in a week when normally I get maybe twice a year….I’ve been busy transforming I guess.

Anyway, you can see I’m a bit up in the clouds today. Again. Lalalalalalalala….LaLa Land is what I was trying to say. But this is not normal LaLa Land for me. This is like I am celebrating life and open to anything. Really a nice feeling to have. Bring it on!

8 OBEs: Missing Chakras?

Last night I was so exhausted I went to bed at 8pm. My eyes were heavy and my body relaxed like I had taken a sleeping pill. Very unusual for me. I ended up sleeping until about 3:30am when I woke up wide awake. I knew when I returned to bed that it was likely that I would project.

OBE: Sludge Run

I awoke seemingly in my body watching a scene play out before me. I was in it but not in it. I was being given instructions and realized that I was some kind of recruit. My group and I were then instructed to run before we were overcome by the water. The members of the group, dressed in gray PT clothing, began to run. I turned and saw a huge brick wall with thick, gray sludge pouring over the top. People were running away from the sludge and screaming. The road they were on had a huge hole in the center which slowed some down. I thought it all fun and knew they did, too. I began to giggle and felt the familiar sensation of coming back to body awareness.

OBE: Beanie Man

Realizing I had gone OBE but had not taken charge, I allowed myself to return to observer mode because I still felt very tired. Basically this means I went OOB but lingered in a horizontal position over my sleeping body and watched my dream images without being pulled into the dreamstate. I watched as a man wearing a multicolored beanie stood with his back to me. At this time I heard someone say, “The 23rd.” I said, “Of this month?” Then I couldn’t remember what month and wondered. I heard back, “September.” That’s when I remembered it’s January. The date given was familiar so I asked to be able to go to the person who it reminded me of. I heard nothing but saw the man again, back to me. I tried to enter the scene then and came back to body awareness. When I returned my heart was pounding in my chest and I felt uncomfortable, like something was very wrong. This feeling passed but I think only because I quickly entered into the in-between.

chakras

Three Exits

I then had three separate exits from my body, each with interesting results.

The first exit started with heavy vibrations. I was able to exit only to find myself quickly back in my body. My second chakra felt to be a big, gaping hole of nothingness. In fact, the hole felt to be what was sucking me back into my body.

The second exit was the same and when I came back to body awareness I felt the nothingness, the gaping black hole, in my solar plexus. There was a sensation of my ribs bending inward from some unseen source and the vibrations were still high and stable. Again I felt them even after I exited my body and they continued upon re-entry.

The last exit was successful but the body vibrations were very intense and electric. I felt them even after I exited my body and was leaving my bedroom. What was even stranger was that the whole time I was OOB I was taking huge breath-fulls of air as if I was struggling to breathe. They were slow, deep and labored. I figured if I got away from my body it would let up, but even as I went down the stairs the labored breathing continued. I remember wondering if my physical body was struggling to breathe and if maybe it was dying. I also remember not caring if it did. Not long after this last thought, I returned to my body where I was breathing fairly normally but the vibrations were still high and my heart felt very strange, like a deep, emptiness where it should have been. For the short time I stayed with my body, I shifted positions and took deep, meditative breaths. I felt instructed to do this but not from guidance, from a Knowing that it would help stabilize my energy.

OBE: Can’t Sing

This time I was able to get OOB without incident, the vibrations not following me OOB. I successfully made it to the stairs and tried to sing because singing helps raise my vibration. I couldn’t get any sound to come out. It was like I was hoarse and this strange, raspy sound came out. I continued to sing, though, and eventually the sound was smooth but it did not come from my throat. Rather, it seemed to come from my Being, and was without sound but more of a vibration. Hard to explain. The surprise of this change brought me back to my body and my throat felt odd, but not a nothingness – indescribable.

OBE: Backward Slide

The vibrations came on quickly. Again very strong and I felt them intensify rapidly. I didn’t wait and pulled myself OOB with great ease. I was out and at the stairs, full perceptions. I saw the stairs, a golden hue tinted everything. I decided to slide down the stairs backward, floating just above them. It felt like a water slide and was great fun. When I got to the bottom, my vision was so vivid that I had to remind myself I was not awake, that I was OOB and that it was not real.

In the kitchen I saw my whole family. My two oldest were wearing their backpacks and looked directly at me. I waved and said hello while hovering above their heads near the ceiling. My husband looked directly at me and gave me a nasty look that communicated something like, “You suck. Go away. I’m going to ignore you now.” The energy from him told me he was not happy with me but I didn’t care. Then the kids began to go out the back door, which was all wrong. I remember thinking about where I would go next when I returned to my body. In retrospect, this OBE seemed to be located in the future, or at least it felt that way.

clock

OBE: Alarm Clock

Almost immediately strong vibrations overtook me and practically lifted me OOB. It was crazy fast and the vibrations had sound, like an electric motor or high-voltage power lines humming and crackling. I was able to pull myself out of my body with some effort. It wasn’t the sticky taffy feeling this time. Instead, it felt like the vibrations were shaking me in the opposite direction while also following me in my intended direction. I have never felt vibrations like this. Totally crazy!

Finally, OOB, the strong vibrations continued while I looked at my surroundings. It was my bedroom but there was a small nightstand to my right which isn’t normally there. I saw a black alarm clock sitting on it but the front of it was facing away from me. As soon as I wondered about it the vibrations escalated, picking me up and putting me back in my body. I felt myself enter through my sacral plexus this time and a gaping hole sensation remained after I was back in my body. I felt very dizzy and strange and decided I should open my eyes and not attempt further exits.

Considerations

I suspect the strange vibrations and chakra black holes are a result of my shifting Light body. It could be that the chakras have shifted or that they are blocked, but the latter seems wrong being I re-entered and exited my body via these chakra centers. How they are different is hard to say but my experience is that they were like black holes of nothingness. The vibrations were the most extreme I have ever felt, very stable but almost violent in intensity. Yet, strangely, they felt normal and even when they persisted while OOB I was not bothered by them. The noise was also new. I have heard all kinds of noises-off prior to exit but never while OOB and these seemed to be produced by the vibrations of my energy body because they were in sync, almost like my energy body was singing. This is something like the sound I heard:

 

A Step Towards Wholeness

I am noticing some changes in myself lately. Not just energetic, which there are plenty of, but also personality-wise.

Energetically it feels like my entire energy body is getting an overhaul. I have felt every.single.chakra on and off for the past week non-stop. Usually it is my heart, throat and solar plexus, but the others join in as well. My lower chakras were really beginning to become a physical issue because my stomach and digestive tract went completely haywire. I felt like I had the stomach flu without the nausea. Just icky, bloated, and crampy. I also had indigestion out of the blue. Thankfully this has all passed and seems to be back in balance. Earlier this week, while driving home, my third-eye turned on for no apparent reason and I began to feel like I was ten times larger than I normally am. Why does this stuff happen while I am driving?

Personality-wise I feel very balanced and centered almost all the time lately. I feel as if my guidance is pouring through me, like I am living my guidance…hard to put it into words. My heart has been central to this. It feels like my high heart especially has a role in this shift.

One of the things I have noticed is that I can tell when a major purge is about to occur. Today I recognized one is forthcoming. The Kundalini seems to go in like a scrub brush and scour the meridians and chakras until there is enough residue from the scouring that it needs to be flushed. Then the flush comes. Whoosh! One day this week I felt a shift in my energy body specifically, like my body, my energy, was speaking to me. Very interesting I must say.

Finally, there have been some instances of clarity that surprise me. For example, one night while spending some time with my husband I recognized that I am wanting something from him that he may not be able to give me or perhaps I am not able to allow – I’m not sure yet. I want to trust him, to be able to give of myself to him completely, but feel unable to do this because there is something in the way. Is it old programming on my part? His part? Both?

When I first recognized this feeling it was surprising to me and caught me off guard. After some time to digest it, I have come to realize it goes with the balancing of the masculine and feminine. What I felt was, in essence, the emergence of my feminine side and her desire to have a strong, masculine presence take action. This feeling manifested in a strong willingness to completely let go and submit to the masculine energy. Yet, in the face of my husband, I retreated from it because there was an identification of his inability to be this strong, decisive, action-oriented force in my life. Additionally, I withdrew because I am unable to fully trust myself to his care. Yet that is what I desired. I felt very much like a child eager to be guided by a parent. I was/am ready to receive, which for most of the life has not been my strong point.

Just in recognizing that my true nature is revealing itself has me emotional and I am not rejecting of it in myself. The feminine is about receptivity and surrender, about creativity, intuition, patience and allowance. The fact that I desire to be this and that I am looking to receive what a masculine energy has to offer is a relief to me. In itself, this development indicates that I am changing, I am becoming more balanced and I am shifting into Wholeness.

As time passes, the desire to have this balance in my life remains. I have touched on a part of myself that has been in hiding a long time. I was raised to be both the man and the woman in my life, to never trust a man. So, I have never truly allowed myself to receive and fully surrender to a man because of a fear that if I do, I will be taken advantage of, hurt, or worse. This is most apparent during intimate moments with men in my life. So it is fitting that such a moment would show me with great clarity what I have been missing.

What does this mean for me? I’m told it is a step towards total integration. Prior to this point in my life, I think I would have been freaked out by such a “weak” reaction in myself. Just being able to recognize and embrace my reaction is an accomplishment for me. Now, if only I could take the plunge and truly surrender.

Astrocartography

Mention of finding my power spot in my recent reading with Eric Starwalker reminded me of a map I was given by an astrologer back in 2007. The map indicated areas that were ideal locations for me to live in. I had not known what the proper term of such a map was until a friend mentioned astrocartography. I knew instantly that was what it was.

I was able to find the original map. I thought I had been told the most ideal living location for me was near Los Angeles, California. Upon inspecting the old map, I did find that for the purpose of career, livelihood, fame and fortune, that location would be a good location for me. Apparently, San Francisco is also a good location, but for a home-base and ideal for the purpose of self-healing and healing abilities. I remember him telling me that if I located myself between L.A. and San Francisco then I would be able to enjoy the benefits of both locations. He recommended California if I intended to magnify my spiritual abilities and career options (this was my goal at the time). I also recall the astrologer telling me the other good locations were near Chicago and Central Texas (where I am located now). The map confirms it but I made no notations as to why these locations were a good fit for me. Wishing now I had taken more notes!

I generated a free map on Astro.com. It is interesting to me that this current map has way more lines across it. It gives much more detailed information than the one I was given in 2007. On this map it actually looks like Knoxville, Tennessee is a good place for me to locate to, depending on my goals that is. I have never been to Knoxville but I was very close when I was in the state recently. Florida and Northern Georgia may also be good spots. The Knoxville area has three lines, two of which intersect directly over that area. The two that intersect are Venus, labeled DS and in green, and the Moon, labeled MC in blue. The other nearby one is Neptune, labeled MC in purple. Florida also would have the influence of the latter of the two plus further influence by Mercury. The Northern part of Florida, Georgia and South Carolina would have the influence of all four. Based on the map, it looks like Augusta, GA falls right in the middle of all four lines.

Astro.com gives explanations of each of the lines on the map to help you understand what influence those lines have on the location.

Venus:

Venus is symbolized by a circle which is located above a cross. The circle represents the spirit, which has conquered and transformed the cross, the symbol of matter. These two different principles combine in a new form to create a synthesis of earthly limitation and spiritual completeness. Thus Venus is seen to be the search for unity and a balancing of opposite poles.

Venus located along one of the main axes ensures an extremely pleasant and relaxing time. Social life takes precedent, and meeting people is a more harmonious activity. The more balanced level of energy at these locations promote mutual understanding, and allows for new friendships to be formed. Love relationships are intensified, in fact, these are perfect conditions for getting married and enjoying one’s honeymoon.

Venus energy lines are great for one’s outer appearance and a healthy sense of self-worth. Sensual appeal and erotic powers of attraction are intensified, and inhibitions disappear. We seem to trust the flow of life in a relaxed and easy manner, and delight in earthly pleasures. The danger, of course, exists that our love for hedonistic indulgence makes us passive and indifferent.

Venus energy lines inspire our creative abilities and talents. This leads us to discover a world filled with beautiful art which, in turn, inspires us to be creative ourselves. A more refined sense of aesthetic pleasure could seek expression in music, pottery, sculpture or in painting.

In these regions, the fashion and design industry fare particularly well, as do any skilled trades. Furthermore, financial enterprises could hardly find a more lucrative environment.

Mercury:

Mercury assumes a special place amongst the planets. In mythology, Mercury is the Hermaphrodite, a double-natured being, whose sexuality is neutral. It is the only sign to be symbolized by three basic elements: the cross, circle and semicircle. Body, spirit and soul combine to form a united principle, which is Mercury’s task – to be a mediator between body, mind and spirit.

The four main energy lines, when combining with the planet Mercury, become places for communication, trade and every form of human contact. The idea is to communicate with others, form new contacts and expand one’s knowledge. These places, therefore, lend themselves to the exchange of information, correspondence and publishing.

Thought processes are stimulated, and the use of our mental and verbal abilities is increased. There is more interest in social activities, to learn foreign languages and a willingness to abandon old points of view. Flexibility is more apparent at Mercury energy spots, and we are more open other points of view. Neutrality and flexibility are key words.

Generally speaking, Mercury favors methodical procedures. Being able to differentiate, ability to take in clear details and being dexterous, predestined these places for every type of career and business enterprise.

These are the places for journalists and authors. The latest and greatest on any topic or trend can be found here. Ideas abound, and the ability to grasp concepts rapidly aid both work and solve attending problems.

Mercury lines ensure movement and change; there is rarely any boredom. There is more likely to be a certain level of stress and nervous tension. This increased pace also leads to superficiality and prevents deeper connections. This lack of connection can often be in the way of putting ideas into practice, and they remain as ideas only.

The Moon:

The Moon is symbolized by a semicircle, which represents the soul and the emotions of the individual. Its round form reminds one of a harbor which offers shelter and protection. At the same time, this also represents the sign of the waxing Moon which reinforces the great force and changeability of this cosmic principle. This symbol can also be seen as a type of hollow mirror, which collects the sunlight and sends it back to Earth.

Apart from the Sun, the Moon is the most important component within the horoscope, and in Astro Maps, its lines are also considered of major importance. The Moon’s energy lines really affect the emotional and psychic domain, which creates an internal focus.

Under its influences, we become aware of our past. Of interest and concern are childhood, parents and family. We remember the past, which creates nostalgic sentiments and may tempt us to daydream. We meet the past to work through unresolved issues, which can be well finalised.

Deeply hidden needs and desires are awakened through the contact with the Moon’s energy lines. Emotions determine action and push aside rational thought. At times, we feel and behave like a child. There is the danger to have a somewhat dreamy, too simplistic and naïve view to life.

Since the Moon embodies the female side, it really depends on where this rather passive, soft and submissive side is shown in life. Especially males with traditional patriarchal views on life won’t find life too easy at such locations, and will probably experience more intense confrontations. But, in the final analysis, these experiences could prove both healing and liberating.

The Moon continually changes. After a period of growth, a change occurs and “development” leads into the opposite direction, at which point, the cycle starts once again with the New Moon. Moon energy lines are great to use to initiate change or to create a new start. The effectiveness is greatly enhanced if a connection is made to the appropriate place during the corresponding Moon phase. A simple rule applies: a waxing Moon is good for those enterprises and projects requiring growth. The waning Moon supports processes requiring change and finalization.

Neptune:

The planet Neptune was discovered in Berlin in the year 1846 by the astronomer Galle. Its icon, of an upturned cup, symbolizes both the Moon and the soul. The cross which extends through the semicircle points out the unity to the world. The arrows, pointing upwards, symbolizes a higher sphere of body, mind and soul.

Neptune’s energies are extremely subtle and non-material. Its effects are difficult to discern, and act as undercurrents, which usually escape the rational mind. In an Astro Map, Neptune points out regions of intense and transcendental qualities. Meditation, spiritual practices and a more contemplative lifestyle become more intense at such localities. If you are keen to get in touch with these spiritual dimensions, and to step into another reality, then this is definitely your place. The borders between the subtle and the material planes are never more permeable than at these locations. Boundaries disappear, the world becomes full of secrets, dreams and reality appear to merge.

Artists appreciate the inspiring and sensitive nature of these surrounds. Both romance and nostalgia can become a source of new endeavours. The subtle qualities of this higher plane promote intuition, and inspire creative processes. Melancholic mood swings interchange with feelings of cosmic connectedness.

On the other hand, these places do not lend themselves to the more material aspects of daily life. There is no solid base, so a danger exists for unrealistic thinking, the consequences of which can be self-deceit, intrigue and losses. Illusions and false hopes can foster a desire to escape from this world, or can take refuge in the use of alcohol and drugs.

Neptune embodies the universal principle of love, whose energy goes beyond the fixed boundaries of the individual. We are more open to greater connections, and are willing to overcome egotistical needs. A deeper sympathetic tendency exists for the plight and suffering of fellow mankind. Neptune places are most suitable for the service to others, and also for work undertaken in a charitable organisation.

My Current Location

The reason my current location is so good for me is because my sun and Jupiter intersect fairly close to where I live now. So I am in a power zone plus I have very good luck in general. On an astromap, Jupiter represents a pleasant and easy life, encourages a sense of being relaxed and optimistic about life. The sun represents integration, wholeness and self-realization. Those two positive indicators make Texas in general a good place for me to live, raise a family and have a generally good life.

Power Spot

I have yet to receive anything from my body as to where my power spot might be. I discussed Mt. Shasta with Eric – how I was super relaxed and slept better than I have in a long while. He said it may be one of my power spots. Unfortunately, I have no desire to relocate there, even though it is located close enough to the lines of healing and career success for me.

My draw now is to an area I have already been in several times. It is located only 20 minutes north of where I am now and I lived there for a year while in college. If my career pans out (which I think it will) it would be a good location for me I think. Being where I am located now serves me well, I am sure 20 minutes north would as well.

However, I have been extremely drawn to northern Florida for a while now (over a year), as well as Tennessee. I have been to both so cannot say for certain that either would be a power spot, but then I have not paid attention to my body and her reaction to either location. While in Florida recently I experienced a very calm, comfortable feeling at the Tampa airport. Considering I had a very stressful trip, it was a surprise to me. While in Tennessee I was overwhelmed by the energies and felt very unbalanced for the first few days of my trip and then very spiritually expanded and open toward the end. I felt relaxed but did not sleep well. It was as if I received a jolt of super energy or entered another dimension. Whether this is a signal that it was a power spot, I don’t know, but I did feel very powerful while I was there. So, maybe it is one?

For the astrologers who read this blog, any input about my map is welcomed. 🙂

Road Trip

I’m spending today packing and preparing for my road trip to Tennessee tomorrow. I plan on leaving before sunrise which means I need it all ready because I am NOT a morning person and will likely forget something important (like my purse lol). Picking up my friend in Dallas and then it’s a straight shot from there. We plan on being there at least until October 3rd, maybe longer. I don’t plan on blogging while I’m gone and will update when I return.

I’ve been struggling since the full moon. The energies have been very off kilter. I have not felt so much inner conflict since 2001 or maybe during my Dark Night. It’s been a push-pull, tug-of-war feeling pretty much constantly. Thankfully the energies have settled since the Equinox and I feel more balanced than I have in quite a while. I’m hoping this reprieve is not brief and will last me through the end of the month. I hear the 26-27th are suppose to be intense. Hopefully not so much that I end up back in an internal tug-of-war.

If you have been struggling like me then a big ((((((hugs)))))) to you. A hug is what I have been craving the most. I just want to find my safe place/person and never let go. The vulnerability that comes with this kind of internal shake-up is akin to feeling tossed into a sea without a life jacket or life boat. Just now I am remembering all the dreams I’ve been having about floods, swimming pools, dark lakes/water, etc. Just had another last night in fact. That along with dreams of runaway cars and brakes not working, you get an idea of what this craziness is doing to me.

The despair and apathy has been the worst. It is like the entirety of my current and past life is crumbling away in front of me. Of course, nothing physically has changed but it feels unsteady, shaken up and ready to collapse and I can’t get my bearings. Where is North? What is up? What is down? One can’t help but get a feeling of impending doom yet at the same time there is a silver lining feeling accompanying it. Like the sun is about to come out if I can just hang on a bit longer.

Right now I am just happy to have a return to a bit of “normal”. There are physical symptoms the past couple of days suggesting a huge download in process. Sleeping deeply and waking up to horrible hot flashes and sweating. It takes me a good hour to get to the point where I am cooled down. My guidance is fairly quiet again and the messages have stopped. There have been brief stirrings of Kundalini but nothing substantial.

The timing of this trip appears to be just right. Soon I will be surrounded by my spiritual family and friends. I will be in a safe space energetically which I feel is necessary for some of the changes that I feel are coming my way. I read this morning that October will be a month of change. We’ll see. Hoping it is good change without the crazy, unbalanced energies.

See you in October!

For a good explanation of what is coming on or near the 26-27th, read this post on the Eris/Uranus Conjunction.

 

 

 

Human Design

Yesterday I had been thinking about how I am rarely certain about what I want for myself. I seem to just float around from one thing to the next, but never really feel passionate about any one thing. I like lots of things and can do them all. So in thinking about this and remembering what I was told, I saw very clearly a pattern in my life. I attract to me individuals who want something that I can give them. When I meet them I finally feel I have a purpose. This has been in all relationships in my life but specifically noticeable in romantic relationships. In my relationships I help the other person to achieve their goals. That is my primary drive in the relationship. I did this knowingly for my first husband. I would not leave the relationship until I had helped him reach his goal. Without me he would never have achieved it. The same is happening in my current relationship, though we have had “mutual” goals along the way, his were my primary focus and continue to be.

I saw very clearly why I had created in this life’s personality the lack of individual motivation toward any one particular career or life goal. My purpose is to help others, not myself. I purposely created in this life a need for others to inspire within me my own purpose . Without these others my own purpose is diminished and unable to be completely realized. What they want I help them get and through helping them I am able to fulfill my purpose.

This is not the first time I have recognized this about myself and life. In the past I always saw it as a negative thing, as a weakness of mine that needed to be overcome. Therefore, I have resisted helping my significant others achieve their goals, becoming stubborn and actively working against them at times. I never felt good doing that. In fact, when I was in this mode I felt awful and at my lowest. However, if I worked with them, to help them, my disposition shifted and I would be content. Yesterday, in seeing this pattern I saw it as purposeful. If I had not instilled in this life’s personality a lack of individual, well-defined purpose then I would not have been in the position of being willing to help those I had agreed to help. And being my mission is “to help” then wouldn’t it be best to make sure that my own motivation only be triggered via teaming up with another?

Human Design

With this realization I remembered learning a while back that I am a Projector. This is one of the four types of human beings and their strategies as laid out in Human Design. A friend of mine introduced me to Human Design a while back and I submitted my information and was told that I am a Projector. I got my chart for free here if you are interested. This website offers you the ability to get more information about your energy type for free if you sign up (also free).

In my free chart I was given this information along with access to an explanation of the chart:

TYPE: Projector

Life Theme: Bitterness

Strategy: Wait to be Invited

PROFILE: 6 / 2 Role Model Hermit

33-19 / 2-1 : The left angle cross of Refinement

Juxtaposition – Trans-Personal Karma

DEFINITION: Single Definition

AUTHORITY: Self Projected

As a Projector, I have to wait to be invited to help another person. In other words, their energy has to invite me in. I have experienced this in life. If someone is interested in me, then their energy is inviting. However, they can choose at any time to withdraw their invitation which to me results in a feeling of being “blocked” by them and thus feeling rejected. I am very sensitive to rejection and so have withdrawn much from others in this life. This goes hand-in-hand with what my chart indicates: Hermit. lol I do feel very bitter when I am rejected and this has also led to me learning to wait rather than to try and force myself to be invited by others. So, overall, what I have learned from my chart supports my life experiences and has helped me to understand more about my life and relationships.

From what my friend told me, Projectors are usually connected to Manifestors and Manifestor Generators. I had the charts of my family members done and found that my entire family (husband and all three children) are Generators and Manifestor Generators.

I am still exploring the website to learn more about my chart, the channels, centers and gates. It is all very fascinating. Here is just some of what my chart reveals about me:

My defined centers (fixed and reliable aspects of Self):

  • Throat – Themes: Communication, Manifestation, Materialization, Contact with the Exterior worlds, Outlet for Energy and Expression, Speaking and Doing
  • G Center  – Identity of Self; Themes: identity, love and direction

My open centers (an open center is a conditioning receptor which creates the Not-Self (Ego).:

  • Root – Always in a hurry to feel free of pressure.
  • Sacral – Not knowing when enough is enough.
  • Spleen – Holding onto what isn’t good for you.
  • Solar Plexus – Avoiding confrontation and truth.
  • Heart – Feeling unworthy and undervalued.
  • Anja – Pretending to be certain.
  • Head – Thinking about things that don’t matter.

If you decide to have your chart done, please share your energy type and your take on what Human Design revealed about you.