2 OBE’s and Informative Links

Two OBEs to share and some considerations, also.

OBE: Crocodiles in the Water

Woke at 5:30am and rolled back over feeling a bit sad that I had not had any lucid dreams or OBEs in quite some time. I even requested it two nights in a row with no success which is unusual. I have been very tired lately and sleeping for 9-11 hours a night. So, I figured I must just be too tired.

Within seconds (or so it seemed) of rolling over to return to sleep something alerted me to a shift in vibration, though I do not recall feeling any vibrations. I rolled out of my sleeping body and stood up. My vision was full-on, vivid and sharp and I was not in my bedroom. I was in the living room of what appeared to be a small house with white, lace curtains. I could see the front door and the adjacent window. Sunlight was streaming through the lace hitting a potted ivy plant sitting on a table.

I believe I had been laying on a sofa in the room but didn’t turn to look. My intent was to go out the door and get away from my sleeping body. I felt a bit unsteady in my astral form as if I would lose the OBE if I lingered or stopped to survey the scene. I talked to myself to get more stability but I can’t remember what I said now.

When I reached the front door I went to grab the door knob and thought to try and move through it instead. I met a solid surface so opened the door as normal and floated/walked through. Outside was beautiful and resembled a city park. There was a long walkway through green, manicured lawns with shrubbery out in front of me. To my left was a large, slow-flowing creek or small river. The waters were muddy and sluggish as if there had recently been a storm. Beyond the river to my far left were tall trees through which I could not see beyond for the thick undergrowth.

I went down the few steps from the stoop and did not hesitate to head toward the river/creek. For some reason I wanted to go straight into the muddy water. I jumped in right away and felt the cold water surround me. I never went all the way under, though. The water was only waist deep.

Once in the water I felt a strong current that from the surface was not noticeable. I looked to my right and thought, “There are crocodiles in this water. I better get out fast.” There was no fear with this thought only intent to exit the water. I never saw a crocodile. Note: Crocodiles symbolize some aspect of self I am avoiding. Muddy water is muddied emotion.

As I crawled up the side of the embankment onto the leaves and underbrush of the forest beyond I swear someone reached down to give me their hand and help me up. Yet I can’t recall seeing anyone just feeling support being offered by a male presence. Out of the water I stood and looked into the forest. My thoughts then were, “I don’t know what to do next.” I felt apathy hit me and became heavy, losing my astral sight and settling immediately into my sleeping body. Note: My apathy and not knowing what to do mirrors my physical life.

OBE: Friends

Once in my body I exited again but with less lucidity than the exit before. I could not see and once again felt someone was with me. I spoke to myself to get more stability and recall saying, “I can’t see. I need to see.” As I said those words my vision came on slowly and I could see my own eyelids slowly fade as my vision turned on. It was a really cool experience and I remember saying, “Oh yeah, I see through closed eyes here. Vision isn’t the same.” It was as if I had to remind myself of how things worked.

This time I was inside a house with several others who I seemed to know. We interacted for the entire OBE but I have since forgotten pretty much everything. I do know there was a very tall woman who was the focus of my attention. She towered above me and the others by at least a foot. I was aware of my “other” life while with these people but again can’t remember it.

The reason I can’t recall it clearly is because I entered into several lucid dreams after this last OBE, one right after the other and each with less and less lucidity. I woke briefly at one point but was too groggy to bother trying to remember the OBEs and dreams. I was also disappointed at how uneventful the two OBEs were. They seemed so boring and pointless so why try to remember them?

Difference Between OBE and Lucid Dream

Only recently have I been more intent on having more OBEs and lucid dreams. This is in part due to seeing so many of my online friends posting about their experiences. Some of them have OBEs almost daily! I use to have frequent OBEs but this year my stats have dropped significantly.

A few days ago someone shared a link that caught my attention. It was to an article about the difference between OBEs and lucid dreams. After reading it my feelings were mixed because for me the differences are not so cut and dry.

If I use the list at the end of the article to define the above experiences then I believe they qualify as OBEs:

Stable environment
Environment not under my control
Expectations did not affect the environment
Eyesight was vivid, vibrant; I could feel with my mind (this is always the case with me, though).
Body image – unknown, I did not care if I had a body or not
I was bored (seems to be big indicator of OBE)
Didn’t see my body but again, didn’t care
No sexual encounter

Most of my OBEs are transitions from lucid dreams, which is also mentioned as a possibility by the author (the fourth state).

I think that the list should include that the experiencer is aware of shifting out of their physical body with or without the presence of vibrations. For me, this is the #1 indicator that I was OOB because I am conscious of leaving or re-entering my physical body. In the case of it beginning as a lucid dream and shifting to an OBE I may not be aware of leaving my physical body in the beginning but but in the end I am conscious of re-entry. I also believe one can begin an experience as an OBE and then lose awareness and shift into a lucid dream.

Anyway, back to my renewed interest in OBEs…..

A friend posted a link to this website and I spent some time reviewing some of the articles. It occurred to me that if I could go OOB more that I could observe some of the same things the author of this site has observed. In fact, I already have. I know, though, that I need more uninterrupted time and more sleep to be able to go OOB as frequently as I would need to. I just don’t have that right now and it will likely be many years before I do.

I recommend you visit the above site as it has many useful article about consciousness, OBEs, lucid dreams and multidimensional states.







Sleep Paralysis and ET Encounter

Yesterday’s energy was flat and ominous at times. I realized that the “ominous” feeling came on when I was too much in my mind and focusing outward. I tend to do this out of habit – probing my environment for clues of where the feeling originates. My guides reminded me to settle in my heart. When I did, the ominous feeling muted and there was calm.

This mini-lesson taught me just how much I tend to focus upon the future. Always looking ahead. There is nothing wrong with anticipating future events if you can avoid dwelling on them. That is my problem. I stay in the future instead of pulling myself back to present. This is especially true now when my guidance is quiet 99% of the time.

Prior to sleep, I requested once again to be allowed to remember what was going on while I slept. This was granted. Just to be on the safe side, I took B6 to make sure I remembered more of my dreams and hoping for an OBE.

Lucide Dream and Sleep Paralysis Episode

At bedtime it began to rain pretty hard. This lasted well into the night. I struggle to fall asleep when there is thunder and lightening, often drifting in the in-between for long periods between booms of thunder. This particular night was no exception but something odd occurred. Maybe it was B6 or the intention to remember, but I kept feeling a strange energy come over my body. With the feeling was an awareness of an on-going conversation with my Companion about the soul exchange. I kept interrupting myself saying to my Companion things like, “I am ready” and “I trust you”. With each statement the energy would envelop me, coming on strongly from the center of my back. At its peak, the energy encapsulated me completely and I felt like I was inside the center of a flower bud; “petals” of energy softly cradling me inside.

Usually my awareness would pull me out of these episodes with a start. There was a smidgen of fear every time. How frustrating that the fear is still there after so, so many similar energetic experiences!

Lucid Dream

At one point I entered into a semi-lucid dream. I was inside an unfamiliar house with my children. There was a storm and I could hear the rain pelting the roof. I tried to turn on the light, but the electricity must have been out because it would not turn on. In the dark I could see outlines of the kitchen. Everything had a glowing white aura.

There was a feeling of impending doom that made me nervous. As I headed out of the kitchen, I heard a loud, crackling followed by an electric buzzing. The buzzing got louder and I looked up because it seemed to be coming from above my head. That’s when I saw a tiny, neon-blue colored sphere about the size of a fist. It began to circle around my head. At that time, a hissing noise started to accompany the buzzing. It sounded similar to the release of an air brake but the sound would draw out with a long “hissssss”. I connected all of this to an E.T. encounter for some reason and thought for sure They had come to collect me.

The sounds were so audible, the visuals so vivid and my rising fear so palpable that I suddenly realized and thought, “This is NOT real!”

Sleep Paralysis

Instantly I was propelled into my sleeping body with quite a bit of force, but the sounds and visuals did not dissipate. Instead, they grew more intense and I had to remind myself that I had just been OOB and all was well and normal. My heart was pounding in my chest so hard, though, and there was a strange energy pushing into my back at heart level, that I struggled to calm down.

In my visual field the hypnagogia turned on and there was a message written over and over on millions of tiny, rectangles. The message was, “I love you”. When I recognized the message the rectangles turned into circles and began to rise in my visual field like bubbles. I remembered not to focus on them and tried to focus on my heart and breathing, but this was nearly impossible because my entire body felt wrong. My back felt like it was arching uncomfortably and the energy pouring into my heart center was chaotic and almost painful. It felt as if I was being torn apart. There was also a strange energy around my head that felt wrong.

And I was afraid. Not terrified. Afraid and getting it under control when there suddenly appeared in front of my vision, face-to-face with me, a woman….errr female. Her gender was very obvious for some reason but she did not look human. Her face would fade in and out but when I saw her she had slanted, black eyes that were parallel to each other and almost touched on the very top of her head.

She looked like an insect. A praying mantis.

I suddenly knew I was on board a craft and she was sitting across from me. My fear was gone. Completely. There was a sense that someone was to my left. My guide. I said to him, “I’m ready if you are.”

That’s when the energy sensations pulled me back to awareness of my body. My back still felt to be arching uncomfortably and I knew I was in sleep paralysis. Heart still pounding I got control of it all and was able to slowly come out of it.



The Ever-Evolving Tapestry of Experience

I should probably post this in my other blog but I didn’t want to neglect everyone who follows this one. I encourage you to follow my other blog if you have not already because my focus is being pulled toward the new one completely. As those of you know who have reached this same point in your journey, resistance is futile. lol

I wanted to share with you a bit of the knowledge that I received in the night.

I was awakened at 9:30pm. I could not remember any of my dreams and I felt I had slept all of the night but it had only been about an hour, maybe less. How strange to feel so much time had passed!

Slightly disoriented, one of my guides seemed almost to “push” upon my energy. It was a nudge of sorts and focused on my third-eye and crown. When he did this I had instant recollection of something quite awe inspiring.

I saw very clearly what I knew to be the Tapestry of Experience. Yet, it looked nothing like any tapestry I have ever seen! It was made of energy. The energy wove together and moved, ever-changing. It was alive and pulsating and strands of it dangled here and there. These “dangling” threads were quickly “sewn” in with the rest and I knew this was a job not taken lightly. I also knew this had once been my job. I “tied up” those loose ends and reintegrated them into this energy fabric.

These loose ends, pieces that dangled haphazardly from the Tapestry were reintegrated by being reborn. Each thread, each piece of living energy/light was a lifetime of experience.

The Tapestry was magnificently long. It stretched beyond my line of sight and it constantly moved, swaying as if it were blowing in the cosmic wind.

As I absorbed this memory, I recalled moving farther away from this Tapestry and viewing it from a distance. I saw then that it was not a tapestry at all. It was the very building blocks of life! I saw strands of DNA. A double helix, twisting and turning, the rungs of its ladders shimmering and sparkling as if covered with diamonds.

In awe, I did not know why I was being shown this glorious memory of something far greater than I; something that is beyond my ability to comprehend. Yet, at a deeper level, I understood it completely. It made total sense to me.

Every decision we make, every lifetime we live, every connection we make – it is all recorded in this Tapestry and it is all US. As we Experience, we Evolve. Interconnected in the very fabric of the universe.

A Selection of True Awakening Experiences Part II

I am participating in Barbara Franken’s February challenge and sharing my personal awakening experience in A Selection of True Awakening Experiences Part II. 🙂

When I consider my own spiritual awakening, I am at first overwhelmed by the enormity of the task I have set for myself when participating in this challenge. If I start in a linear fashion, from the very beginning of my awakening in 2003, the length of this post would be unbearably long. However, if I look at the various paths I took and the lessons I learned along the way, the task is much easier to swallow.

Constantly Questioning

From the minute I could form my first thought, there was a question. I haven’t stopped asking questions since.

As a child one of the first things I recall doing when I had the ability to, was to go back to my very first memory and remember all I could. Before that first memory, there was nothing. Just blackness. This intrigued me because I could feel something was being blocked from my view. Why was this? Why am I here? What happened before I got here? Where was I before I got here? Who am I?

Sometimes asking these questions sent me down unbearably dark paths for when I asked, “Why am I here?” I often asked my someone external to myself like my mother or my sister. Other times it brought me into great moments of joy and awe for sometimes I was presented with a question in return – What do you think? – and when that happened so did some pretty wonderful realizations.

Meeting Myself

Ultimately, like all those who go searching the deepest, darkest places, I was ran face first into the many facets of myself. I opened a Pandora’s Box and there was no going back. I had to confront myself; everything “good” and everything “dark” had to be inspected. I did this with the help of my Companion, Steven, who is my counterpart in Spirit. He is the part of me who Remembers, as he likes to say. And his role is to share some of that memory with me, in little bits and pieces. But I have to ask the right questions. It is all in asking the right questions.

Eventually, all this questioning, led me to my spiritual gifts. This happened seemingly all at once but really it took about a month for them all to manifest. Suddenly, I was a medium, a healer, a medical intuitive, a channel, and a psychic all at once. This threw me into a tailspin. I quit my job, changed my name, and went on a journey which ultimately led to the beginning of my Dark Night of the Soul. It was an eye-opening journey and one that taught me how to love myself when in the past I could barely look at my own reflection.

During my Dark Night my spiritual progression intensified exponentially. I had spontaneous past life memories that I would re-experience as if they were happening in the present. These would be presented to me for inspection and clearing. My Companion or one of my Assistants would take me through the life, asking me questions similar to how a hypnotherapist does when they walk their client through a past life. Each question would open up more of the life and the accompanying emotions. This was an excruciating process as you can imagine. Many lives had to be visited more than once in order to be cleared. Some are still in the process of clearing.

To date, I have Remembered 30+ Earth lives. The time frame extends from before 10,000BC to the present. Many of them are recorded in my blog sequentially, but I have not yet included them all. I have also recalled lives from other planets/dimensions.


In addition to revisiting my past lives during my Dark Night, I also experienced my first spontaneous OBE. This opened up a path of exploration that I never knew existed. What was most amazing is that OBEs finally allowed me to be face-to-face with my Team of guides and, most importantly, with my Companion. Talk about exciting! Suddenly I was visiting other dimensions, other planets, other realms, and my Companion was always there with me. Sometimes I would see him, touch him, hear him. Other times I would just feel him next to me, guiding me and showing me what I needed to see. Through OBEs I was able to tap into yet another unknown part of myself – the timeless, multidimensional, manifesting, and powerful I AM.


Right from the get-go I had Kundalini activity. I didn’t know what it was at first, so it was quite scary. As I got use to it, however, she became like an old friend. She started from the top down at first and all I can say is, “Wow!” Nothing compares to a top-down Kundalini activation. Instant awareness and connection to Source/All That Is. Intense clearing, spontaneous past life recollections, spirit guide communication, and every kind of healing you can imagine.

Then she went dormant for over 7 years accompanied by a seemingly complete loss of my spiritual gifts, a significant reduction in OBEs, and extremely limited communication with my Team of guides. She returned with a vengeance in 2014, this time on a wild ride from root to crown. The sensations this time around are even more intense and the experiences more profound than the first and I don’t think she will be letting up anytime soon.


The most recent path I have been led down has been the most difficult for me. Contact was made with me by other worldly Beings – Beings from other dimensions, other planets, other times. The first visits were while I was OOB and fully aware. They showed themselves as my own reflection in the mirror or would stand in the shadows. Other times they would wake me in the morning for “briefings” and I would have intense channeling sessions where my crown would seem to just open up and information (light) would pour into me. Oftentimes this would come in the form of codes, or light language. These experiences were also accompanied by memories of the “work” I do as part of the Galactic Federation of Light Ground Crew as a grid-worker and energy worker/healer.


Finally, I am Remembering more and more of my path/purpose here. I am just now beginning to see it fully forming ahead of me; though, unbeknownst to me, I have been traveling it from the beginning. It is the path of service- the reason I am here. To help. To be of assistance. To prepare the path for those to come. I am not completely sure what this will look like but I am more than ready to get started.

So this is my story of awakening thus far and in a nut shell. It is ever-changing and I know it will not be the same today as tomorrow or the next day. My Team knows I get bored easily and need to be kept on my toes and they do their job extremely well! I am never disappointed. 🙂

Next up in the challenge is Mick.


Becoming Whole

At around 5pm CST I received the first of several blasts of energy to my heart center. They did not last long, the longest lasting maybe a few minutes.

All this happened when I was watching T.V. and alone. I had the house to myself and was enjoying just being. This is when my attention was suddenly diverted from the T.V. to my left. I swear I felt/heard/sensed someone trying to get my attention. Then came the heart blast. I smiled from ear to ear.

During maybe the third or fourth heart blast I heard very loudly, “Did you miss me?” This shocked me for it seemed to come from within and without at the same time. Usually I can determine a direction and locate where the message is coming from, but this one seemed to originate from within me, from within my very center. Woah.

This startled me to the point that I began to panic a bit. I was reminded to stay out of my mind and when I did that and focused back on my heart the energy there increased and I calmed substantially.

I recognized the voice and the feeling behind it as that of my Companion. So quiet these last few weeks it was/is nice to have communication from him again.

Every once in a while I will convince myself that I am insane and that this entire experience I am having is some kind of psychotic break with reality. This rarely lasts long as I am instantly reminded of the very real experiences I have had and the amazing feeling of love that accompanies them. It is like I am being presented with the decision – to Believe or not to Believe – over and over again. This is what happened last night as I sat alone, overwhelmed once again with what was happening to me. In that moment I was reminded that I created this experience – it is purposeful. I am on a journey of reUnification; a journey to wholeness. And I heard, “We can do this, for We already are.”

We Can Be All Places, All Times

As I continued to try and watch T.V. my attention continued to be diverted to other things. My mind would blank out and I would feel I was receiving communication but there were no words, no images of this communication. I was just a receiving. Then there came an idea that I could choose to be in more than once place at once – that this was my true nature. I Remembered briefly how to do this, how to be in multiple places at once. I do this when I view the future for myself or another. I have done it before, but a limited version of it, one my human mind can accept for to view too many timelines at once can overwhelm the mind and create a break with reality.

I attempted to see the future, or at least one of them, and felt myself to be observing myself and moving through time to a point in the not so distant future. I saw my family arriving and me helping with the baby. Then I shifted to look at present time reality. Where was my family at this moment? I saw them settling into the car and knew they were about 20 minutes away. I saw the inside of the car with clarity and saw my middle son drifting off to sleep.

This is remote viewing and I have done it before. I rarely do it because I have a lack of belief in it caused by not bringing back information that can be proved. I do it sometimes on accident, though, and to my surprise it has been proven. Still I don’t do it often for lack of belief.

I discovered the clarity of my perceptions in remote viewing is increased when I have a psychic bond with the individual(s) I am viewing. This can be done if I have a link to an object or place as well. However, I find it fascinating that I can view the happenings of someone I have never met from a far distance just because there is a strong link between us. It is beautiful but at the same time I feel wrong to do it. I feel I am invading their privacy. Yet I know they also can see/perceive me. For this particular person it happens quite by accident, without any intention on my part. Why? I have no idea but it is so astonishingly clear and makes me smile every time. In my life I have never experienced such a link to anyone, not even my own child.

Becoming Whole

After about an hour or so of on and off heart blasts, I got out the wine. This stopped the heart energy but my third-eye flickered on and off and my Companion did not leave. I could still feel him and still feel he wanted me to focus on the remote viewing “lesson”. Sigh.

I fell asleep quickly and slept deeply (thank you wine!) but awoke at around 5:30am with my Companion very present. I recalled my dreams and remembered what had been occurring through the night. We were together discussing my inability to accept my “other half”. I was reminded that this body is but a shell that I occupy for a short time. In reality I am neither male or female. The dream, which involved a discussion about a man who was undergoing a sex change/gender reassignment was vivid in my mind. How could a man be a woman, too? Yet, that is what we are. We are both. Even in understanding this, my human mind struggled to understand it. How can I be both?

I had flashes of my Companion in his non-human form. In this form he had no gender. He reminded me that We can take on any form we choose. He reminded me again the he is me and I am him. This is so hard for me to digest because I am talking to him, which means then that I am talking to myself. Talk about making a person feel insane.

I am reminded that we are in stasis – We I mean. That We are a Pleiadian Starseed, from the planet Lyra. That We are currently experiencing on Earth to help but also to grow, and that we have been doing this for many hundreds of Earth years. We split in two to do this. He lived and I observed and then vice versa. There is something very special about this lifetime for Us. We will both be in this body. I don’t understand it fully. It is a bit overwhelming and I find myself back at the point where I want him to go away. Of course, he never goes away.

I also know we are now writing Chapter 3.



Adviser Adzekiel and the Requiem Room

I asked to project again but knew that a break was needed. My body needed rest as did my mind. So no projections last night.

Adviser Adzekiel 

I was awakened several times last night from children. Each time I had that lovely drowsy feeling that lulls one back into sleep. However, I also have knowing that I had been busy in my sleep and tried to retrieve my dreams as proof. This is when one of my guides interrupted, telling me, “Remember not your dreams but what is behind them.”

During one of my early morning wakings, after just having dream in which I had been at a university receiving my test results, I awoke and once again attempted to retrieve my dreams. I felt the presence of my guide and as soon as I would attempt a retrieval the dream would vanish and the feeling with it. It was very odd but not an unfamiliar experience.

This guide remained ever present and quite big, though not intrusive. His energy was very gentle and not at all dominant. It was as if he were a passive observer but I know better than that. At one point I asked him who he was and he gave me the name, “Adzekiel”. I was not familiar with the name and asked it to be repeated because I didn’t think the “d” should be there. However, that is the name and it was confirmed.

He showed me who he was visually and I was surprised to see a long flowing, white robe. Around his neck he wore a golden sash. I was immediately reminded of an OBE where I met up with several individuals who appeared similar. I could not make out his face but I saw dark hair. I asked where his black robe was because I remembered black. He said, “I can wear black if you like, but I usually wear white.” I got the feeling this is because of his role. I asked if he always appeared male. He said, “We can appear however we choose.” I asked him why he chose male. He answered, “Because you prefer it.” I then asked, “What do you prefer to look like?” Then I saw his image change and his hair became long and blonde and he was very obviously female. I questioned this and he said, “We [all of us] are both male and female.” I knew this already but still it was nice to hear.

I asked what his role is. “Are you on my Council?” He said, “I am part of your ‘Team’ – as you call it.” Trying to figure out exactly what he did and why he was wearing a different color, I asked more questions. In the end it was determined that he was more of an adviser to me than my guides in black. Those in black are involved in my life plan on a daily basis while he is called in at certain times when advisement is needed. He also stated he was an adviser to many others, others not just of my group. He told me, “You will find my name is used by others [channels].” I got the feeling he was a member of the Council, but he avoided this term and used another, which I cannot recall now.

Requiem Room

In my dream I had been in a library-like setting. It had wood walls with tall bookshelves and comfortable seating. I was with a small group of individuals and we were discussing our test results and our classes. The environment and discussion reminded me very much of a university. I had successfully passed my final test for “History” and was progressing to the next class. There was a feeling of relief on my part – like I no longer had to worry about some past pattern repeating. A male student who was part of my group did not receive such great news. I saw his test returned to him with marks indicating areas that needed improvement. I felt very sorry for him and knew he would remain in his class for a while longer.

I asked where we had been and was told it was of no consequence. However, I heard the word, “Requiem” pop into my head straight away and knew we had been in the Requiem Room. I could not understand why the term requiem was being used to describe the room. In my mind it was a piece of music. However, I found that it’s Latin origins indicate that it means “Rest”. This makes perfect sense and is so much better than being told we were in the “Rest Room”. lol 😉

New Level

Adzekiel announced to me that I was moving to “the next level”, whatever that means. As you know, I have heard this before. I move to another level often it seems. The “briefing” I received after this announcement came in the form of me “feeling” the information and interpreting that feeling with my mind.

My dream was first to be “felt” out. I was again instructed to not focus on the dream but to Remember what was behind the dream. It was easier than I realized and I knew what my “Test” was and why I passed it. Apparently, the feelings and urges I had pertaining to finances and needing a job were part of this test. I had an overwhelming knowingness that these feelings were old patterns being released, some mine and some the “groups” (world’s). Also, my actions were being observed. Would I resist and ignore my “instructions”? Or would I give into them? I did resist, somewhat, but ultimately I was open to finding work and did search many times for it. However, none ever felt right. So this was the test that I passed.

With this understanding I felt something had shifted and I no longer needed to find work. My husband would have advances in his work (he has been very unhappy) and my focus could remain on my spiritual journey. Yay!! Writing is the focus and I have been asked if I would be open to writing a book. I am, since I have already written one, but no further instructions have been given. There was a nudge from Adzekiel at this time to proceed with creating a new blog outlining my walk-in experiences. I felt this nudge strongly and was told this would be “foundation work”. He told me, “There will be many walk-ins”. I have little time – less than 7 months – for the plan is for great change is to happen around my 40th birthday and they pertain to the walk-in. Woah.

I knew the male class member in my dream had not been completely successful. I felt he was close to me but not “family” and learned quickly that my classmates and I were not part of the same soul family. There were two men and three woman, including me, in our small class. Classes are organized and dispersed often and members are picked based upon the similarity of need. My soul family may or may not be included depending on their need/level. Interesting!



Allowing the Exchange

Something shifted for me yesterday and is still in process. It is subtle. Had I not taken the time to meditate and tune in, I likely would not have noticed it at all.

Most of the day yesterday I felt “off”. There was a feeling I couldn’t quite figure out and my mind was not up to par. I keep forgetting things. Small things mostly, but then I forgot my daughter had early out and so missed picking her up at the bus stop! This is so not like me. I am usually on top of everything but my mind is just not cooperating. Really, this mental fog has been going on for some time but now I seem to not care if I forget. I figure if it is important enough I will remember. Otherwise, it must be inconsequential. And really, missing the bus was no big deal. I just jumped in the car and picked her up at school and then all three kids got to play at the school playground. It all works out in the end. Why bother worrying?

Allowing the Exchange

Around 3pm I took a few moments to lay down and tune in. My heart chakra instantly began to pull all the way through to my back. Momentarily I was pleased but then when I got up the heart intensity ceased. However, as soon as I tuned in it would reappear.

When I did my evening meditation my heart lit up again but only slightly. My mind has been somewhat in overdrive from focusing on 3D stuff so it took extra effort on my part to shut it down. As soon as I did one of my guides asked, “What can we do to help you?” This threw me completely. I don’t think I have ever been asked that question. I had no idea how to answer!

Then I was asked, “What do you feel?” Instead of focusing on my emotions like I normally do, for some reason I began to focus on the sensations in my body. I noticed immediately a strange sensation within my brain. It is hard to describe but it felt like I was not alone in there – like someone else was present. There was a strange pressure from within that I had not notice before.

Again I don’t know why but I knew this other presence was part of me, had been part of me, for some time. I will use the word braid in since I have no other way to describe the relationship I have with this other aspect. She/he’s been with me for some time but the upgrades and adjustments to my brain have only recently progressed enough to allow a further integration. This is the only way I know the describe it. I feel completely loonie just considering it, but then again I don’t.

I felt an urge to withdraw and allow this other aspect to come forward. It is hard to describe how I did this but I was able to. That was when it got strange. I became a witness to this other me conversing with my guide. The other me answered the question I had just been asked – “What can we do for you?” He (but really there is no gender associated) said something about making adjustments to this life slowly so as to not cause panic. I was referred to as something else but I can’t recall the term used to describe me. It was something like controlling entity or something like that.

There was so much more conveyed without words. It was like a knowingness from this other aspect seeped into my consciousness. As it did I became completely compliant and relieved.  I was thinking, “Finally something is happening!” I wanted desperately for it to happen all at once. “It” being the exchange. My guide reminded me it must occur gradually and I asked him if he had ever done it before and he said, “No, but I have witnessed many.”


I had memories resurface from my life. All at once. It was like a floodgate opened but they came in one at a time. I remembered a time probably around 2000 when I was living in Alaska. I had prayed and prayed for God to take away my fear. I was terrified to make a move I knew I needed to make. In fact, I remember I seemed to be afraid of everything. I realized that now I am rarely afraid. I still have fear, but compared to back then I appear almost fearless. Wow.

I remembered that prior to that I had been writing a novel. It is long gone now probably as I left it when I left my ex-husband. However, the book was almost halfway complete. It was about a woman who had paranormal experiences. She was married with children and had just moved into her new home. Then Spirit began to visit her – first in her dreams then in her waking life. She also had encounters with E.T.s. The last chapter I wrote about was her being “called” into the mountains where she was met by a very large UFO. I wrote this in 1998-99 five years before my awakening. I still remember the book as vivid pictures in my mind. It was so very real to me at the time. Looking back on it now I wonder if I had been perceiving something of my own future and just didn’t realize that is what it was.

After allowing my braided-in aspect to come forward and the memory floodgates opened I continued to feel strange. I fell asleep and awoke at 4am feeling an intense need to get a job. I am really, really not liking the idea but this feeling is so intensely strong that I don’t know if I can resist it.