A Waking Life “Dream” Interpretation

I was thinking last night about my day and how, at certain points, there were incidents that reminded me very much of dreamtime. I wondered, “What if I did a dream interpretation of my waking life? What would it look like?” 

So, I’m going to try it and see what the symbolism says about my waking hours. 🙂

As with any dream, there are not-so-lucid moments and more lucid moments. Therefore, I will focus on the symbolism in the more lucid moments because they would be what I determine to be significant in my dreams.

My “Dream” Day

Most of my day is a blur with me going through my morning routine and work schedule as normal. It’s amazing just how insignificant most of my day is in my memory.

I had to go into work to cut checks (strong financial future). I do this weekly and it is nothing out of the ordinary. However, lately, the printer has been acting up (difficulty communicating wants/needs) so that when I print checks, two will stick together and ruin the whole batch. So, I end up printing three checks at a time, going much slower than usual in order to try and resolve the issue. Unfortunately, the printer still messes up and I end up wasting four or five checks. Finally, fed up with the problem, which has been going on for weeks, I talk to our office manager and ask her to work on fixing the issue, which can be done easily with some heavier weighted paper. I briefly wonder to myself why it took me so long to do something about the printer issue when it was so simple. 

My daughter calls me right as I am leaving the office to come pick her up at school because she is done with testing. I ask if she wants me to get her before or after I go to the grocery store (seeking nourishment). She doesn’t respond until I am already at the store, so I go in before picking her up. I shop and get in line. I notice a man holding a huge bag of tomatoes (prosperity, new phase beginning) is behind me. I have a ton of stuff so tell him to go ahead of me. He is grateful.

After picking up my daughter I head home, check my work email and do my exercise. While exercising, I am feeling really good and have more energy than I have had in a while. So, I get on my rower to row 3000m. While rowing my mind is blank and I go into a meditative state. When this happens, I see the meters counting down (a countdown is commencing) – 1978 down through 1890’s. As the numbers countdown I have this idea that I am traveling backward in time, watching my own birthdate, my sister’s, my mom’s, my grandmother’s and even a past life. I think of how only certain era’s feel real to me (the 1900-2000’s) and wonder why this is. I answer my own question with, “It’s because life back then (pre-1900’s) was so very different to life now.” And, indeed, I feel this discomfort with pre-1900s and wonder why that is. Why is it uncomfortable? I consider how time is fluid and how, with just a thought, we as spiritual beings can move backward and forwards, just like I was doing in that moment, watching the numbers on my rower countdown to zero. 

I decide to go on a walk but find my watch’s GPS (feeling no purpose/direction) is sluggish and doesn’t turn on until a half mile into my walk. I get somewhat irritated by this but eventually decide it doesn’t matter and that is when the watch’s GPS comes online. I realize then that I am walking for the wrong reasons and so head home early (reasons for walking – focusing on recording my miles, trying to “prove” to myself that I am better than others who are less physically active, seeking to be better than others).

I decide to give my dog (fidelity, protection) a good brushing and see a solitary flea (minor discomforts and annoyances) jump off him. I tell my husband when he comes home and he decides to go get some shampoo and flea treatment. I shampoo (cleanse old attitudes and beliefs) my dog outside and my kids helps. My youngest decides to play on his scooter, slips on the wet concrete and hits his head. My husband comes and gets him and I worry about him the rest of the night. Sure enough, he wakes with a headache, crying and my husband wakes me up to get the medicine and gets mad at me when I don’t want to wake up. He tears up my bed in his anger as I walk downstairs to get the medicine. I give it to our son and return to bed but am irritated at my husband for acting so childish and can’t go back to sleep. 


The above are what remains in my memory of my day but the most significant to me is the lucid part while I was exercising. Later in the evening, it was this event that had me considering how our daily activities could be interpreted in much the same way as our dreams. Besides, I’ve always considered dreamtime just as real, if not more real, than my day-to-day waking experiences. Now that I have reflected upon my day, it is clear to me that interpreting the events of my day is much more revealing than I thought it would be!

The printer experience and how it played out is significant. In life, I’ve noticed it can take a long time before I do something about an issue, especially if something requires I have to go out of my way to make an effort to resolve it. In this particular case, the printer had eaten one too many checks and I finally got fed up enough to take action and fix it. I have suffered through weeks of irritation and just now took action! And if I look at many issues in my life, it is exactly the same! Why do I take so long to change what I dislike about my life? What is that final straw that motivates me to make the needed change?

I find it interesting that with each of the more lucid moments of my day, I am alerted to something via my environment and later have a realization because of it. For example, the GPS not working points me to something I am doing in life for the wrong reasons and so I adjust my course accordingly. Similarly, the flea, which is a minor annoyance in my life, reveals itself when my husband annoys me with his angry outburst and wakes me up for something he could have handled on his own. 

I am especially curious about my tendency to wait before I take action on those things which need resolution. I believe it is the perceived discomfort of initiating change that creates the resistance. Yet, there really is not that much discomfort at all, once I decide to act. Honestly, it feels good! So, why do I do this? Is this a human tendency? I wouldn’t call myself a procrastinator. Nor would I say I am “avoidant”. Lazy? Maybe, at times. Unmotivated? Most definitely!

So, maybe it is the end result that I am feeling is not worth my time and effort? Yes, I think that is it. If I can’t see a benefit that is greater than my effort to make a change, I don’t act. Huh. The thing is, what we see/perceive (future) is limited to what we have seen/experienced (past) and there are many potential futures that could exist beyond our limited perception and experience.

What could interpreting your day reveal to you? Try it.

Dream: Mermaid Warriors

This whole week I have gone through all kinds of emotions – anger, frustration, anxiety, concerns, guilt, appreciation, gratitude, love, compassion, guilt, etc. My emotions kept me up at night three nights in a row, mainly because I went to bed upset, usually angry or frustrated. Getting unwanted news right before bed is never conducive of a good night’s sleep for me. lol One night I was told all employees at my place of work had to wear masks to work. Another night a “friend” on FB left a rant on one of my posts where she basically called me a narcissist. Another night my husband told me something that now I can’t even recall. LOL Shows how very, very important it was, right?

I started to dread going to sleep because I knew once I closed my eyes that all kinds of thoughts and emotions would surface. I also knew I needed to meditate, calm my mind and body and allow those thoughts and feelings to surface and dissipate. The anger and frustration I experienced was the worst and I didn’t want to feel it because it made certain sleep would not come. Yet if I didn’t at least acknowledge it, it would seep out of me like icky, black sludge throughout the day – which it did. When this happens I usually piss someone off or step on someone’s toes or, worst of all, hurt someone’s feelings.

All the while I kinda knew, deep down, that my reactions to the world situation right now was purposeful. If I triggered someone, it was not a mistake. If I was triggered it was not a mistake.

In one instance, the one involving FB, I had actually considered deleting a post I posted because I knew would trigger someone. I intentionally left it. I don’t remember knowing why but that was later revealed when someone who I know online blew their fuse completely. This person had been acting this way in the online group she hosted, too, so it was not really a surprise that she lost her cool. I had been witnessing her attack people who did not share her beliefs for some time now, remaining quiet and just observing without judgement. When she attacked me online I actually didn’t even finish reading her post because of the pure contempt oozing out of the first couple of lines. I deleted it without a thought when she began using the term narcissist.

Sadly, the term narcissist bothered me. I ended up convinced I must be one all because of this woman and her judgement of me. My concern – guilt even – didn’t last long, though, because I realized that a narcissist would not feel guilt or concern over being labeled a narcissist! lol Also, my research indicated that I did not fit the bill. I may sometimes have some characteristics of a narcissist (as we all do) but I am most definitely NOT one. Yet all it took was this woman labeling me as one to make me temporarily convinced I must be horribly selfish, unfeeling and manipulative. 😦 In the end, though, it was a good thing because it caused me to take a step back and really look at myself, which was needed, especially now.

You may wonder what it was that triggered this woman. Well, I also had to inspect that about myself. My upset has been over the virus and the resulting fear has infected the population. I had finally had enough of the fear posts on FB, the constant fear mongering on the news and the people in my neighborhood brutally shaming anyone who was not in fear like them. When I blew up on FB I had not yet really figured out the true source of my upset.

Since then I have recognized my upset stems not from any of the above but from this – the current and long-term economic impact and its effects on those who were/are already struggling. Children. The poor. The addicted. The abused. The neglected. The suicidal or depressed. The hungry. The longer the shutdown goes on, the more these statistics rise.

But I needed to look even deeper than that.

I discovered at the root, of course, is my sister and her subsequent return home where she was already very likely to resume her meth habit. But now, with the shelter-in-place orders in effect, her enabling and drug-using husband at her side, and the stimulus check coming her way, well she is doomed. It’s not the virus that will kill her – nope – it’s herself.

I often struggle with letting the people I love make choices I know will ultimately lead them to more suffering or even death. Who doesn’t? It has been a hard lesson for me. I want desperately to take control of their situation, make decisions for them, but can’t. I feel helpless – much like everyone around me is feeling with this virus situation, though not all for the same reasons.

Thus, what my guides have been saying to me lately, “We are all in this together.” Everyone is feeling helpless and everyone is being triggered in their own way.

For me, the solution is to stop looking out at the world as the source of my upset and subsequent “problem”. Rather, I need to accept, once again, that my sister has to make her own decisions regardless of whether I think they are “right” or “wrong”. It is her life. I have to let go and allow her to fall – or rise – as in the end it is her path, not mine. Just as it is for every person on Earth.

Thus, it follows, that my upset with the mask order suddenly vanished. I went into work without a mask but by the time I got home I had decided I was going to make some masks. lol I had been dead set against wearing one and then did a complete 180. The release I felt was extraordinary and…..what fun I had!!!

Looky, looky at what I made!

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They aren’t perfect but they aren’t bad considering I haven’t touched my sewing machine in almost a decade. And what was I thinking about when I went to bed last night? Was I angry? Were my emotions and thoughts all over the place? Nope. Instead I was thinking about how I could tweak the masks I make next. I was creating. I would much rather be kept awake by creative thoughts than by frustration, wouldn’t you? 🙂

Dream: Mermaid Warriors

Shifting gears to dream-land….

My dreams have been few and far between these days but the ones I recall lately seem to involve ships and water. To give you an idea, previously I was on a sinking ship and rescued by three nuns in a submarine. lol

So last night’s dream was quite bizarre. I was on a dock with others standing next to what reminded me of a Stargate (Stargate movie lovers will know what this looks like). A woman was calibrating it and a blue light was emanating from the center. I was very close and the lady put her hand up and said to me, “No. You can’t use it whenever you want anymore. You have to wait.” My feeling and response was something like, “Oh come on!” I really, really wanted to go through it and it felt like I did it all the time. What is odd here is that the woman called the Stargate a “corral”. I’m not sure of the meaning here except to “confine or bring together”. My feeling is the next event or journey, what I was so eager to go into in the dream, is a “corral”.

Then I was being shown a “crew” that was being gathered together. I was told they were a mermaid crew yet what I saw was a group of women with legs standing together in clothing that reminded me of a warrior, like Amazon warriors. They had in their hands spears and their faces were without expression. There were at least 30 of them.

By this time I realized I was with a man who seemed to be directing me. Probably a guide or mentor. The man was tall, broad shouldered and light haired. He was talking about going to a very upscale restaurant that served foods that were not usual. I can’t remember what the foods were but they were things a sea creature would eat, not a human.


Funny enough, when I woke I was having a conversation with someone asking to be allowed to go right now. It felt that I was about to be taken away in a “ship”. So, my thoughts were, of course, on a space ship type vessel. I highly doubt that I am going to be taken up in a space craft.

The symbolism here seems to be indicating a journey is ahead, one that will gather together a group of like individuals. How we are alike is unknown but based upon my past experiences I would say we have in common this: We are Light Workers/Warriors of the Light.

The mermaids indicate the ability to shift form from creatures of the water to creatures of land. The sea here is intuition and the ability to tap into it as needed. The land here is being human, or better yet Hu-man. Mermaids are symbolic of higher consciousness and being attuned to one’s authentic self. They also represent knowing and following one’s life purpose. The fact that their human form appears warrior-like feels to be a message or a calling to “arms” though not in the way one might think. It is more of a presence or a duty.

The man says of the food served at the restaurant that there is no use eating it if the restaurant doesn’t prepare certain foods a certain way. My feeling on this is that I am being asked to “eat the right food”, meaning to nourish myself with things that will strengthen me rather than weaken me. I am being asked to be mindful of what “foods” I eat. My first thought here is that I need to pay attention to what media content I am looking at – not just news media but any information being brought to me right now.

I feel blessed to have had this dream. It is promising but also cautionary, advising that while we wait, we be careful of what we consume.




Putting the Past to Rest, Kundalini Dreams and Messages

Two weeks of struggling to fall asleep. I’m only getting about 5-6 hours a night and it is taking its toll. I suspect it has to do with the Corona virus scare and all the hoopla surrounding it. It is me picking up on the Collective more than anything I think, though I have my own issues surfacing independent of the virus and the Collective. All are One, though, so it is all the same to me.

Previous to news about the virus, I have had thoughts about past relationships coming up. This began way back in January, so I know it is not the cause of my sleepless nights because I had no issues with sleep back then. Some thoughts/memories are from past boyfriends, others from past connections in high school. Nothing major – no major emotions or reactions to the memories, really. Mostly I am coming to unuderstand the other person more and more and I think that is the point. This indicates that I have shifted from being the effect of my emotions and karmic lessons to being more at cause and seeking understanding in order to put it all at rest.

For example, a specific ex-boyfriend of mine continues to come up in my thoughts and I even had a long conversation with my husband about him. At that time in my life I had just awakened spiritually and was fascinated with my newfound gifts. My connection with him was a catalyst for my awakening, though a subtle one. He introduced me to the book that had the meditation in it that served to ignite all the swift changes in my life at that time. I realized that was his only purpose and am grateful to him for that. However, I also see how I was so immersed in my awakening that I neglected him, didn’t see the “signs” that indicated he felt ignored, under appreciated and fearful of a great many things. There was recognition that for him, I was more than just a fling, I was a potential long-term relationship and maybe more.

The signs were there but I didn’t see them back then. He took me to meet his father for one despite putting down his father and indicating he cared nothing at all about what his father thought of him and his life choices. He also altered his home environment to suit me. When I met him he had nothing permanent in his home. His furniture was all plastic or dorm style. His bed was an air mattress. He had no dresser in his bedroom. Yet after we started dating he bought a new bed and furniture. When I started drifting away from him, caught up in doing readings and exploring my gifts, he admitted to cheating on me (he kissed an ex-gf). I believe he did this because he wanted to test my reaction. I dumped him immediately and had no emotional reaction other than that. Afterward (we worked together) he was very resentful and demonstrated his hurt via critical comments. Then years later he contacted me in hopes of a second chance, but I was already married. He put down my choice to marry and have children saying, “Oh, you’re one of those.”

I was also able to recognize that he was a very conflicted person. He wanted to marry and have children but resented his brother who was doing just that. His brother was praised and commended for his choices by his father. So two reasons to not be like his brother. I think he began to have feelings for me that scared him. His response was to self-sabotage. Cheat on me and make it easier to escape a situation where he was at odds with himself. Yet despite this, years after he sought to reunite with me because deep down he longed for more.

After all this reflection I find I genuinely love him, not in a romantic way but in a family way. I wish only the best for him in his life and hope that he has faced his inner demons and made peace with his father. Maybe he has settled down with a partner and has found some semblance of peace?

I went through the same process with the other relationships that came to mind – another ex-bf and a girl I went to high school with. Seeing their side of things helps me to let go of any leftover negative emotion, freeing me – and them – from the trap of repeating the lesson in future lives.

Unusual Kundalini Dreams

One benefit of the delay in falling to sleep is I used that time to meditate and go within.

Last night, once again frustrated at not falling asleep, I asked my guidance for help. Since I had done this before with little response I asked to be given something interesting in my dreams – an OBE, a lucid dream with Kundalini, a gift perhaps – yes a “gift” would be nice I said.

My request was granted immediately.

Somehow I drifted off to sleep and entered into a lucid dream within a dream within a dream. The dream specifics are confusing because I was in two places (three really). I was in my bed aware that I was dreaming but I was in two different beds – one in the past and one in the present. The past bedroom was at my Mom’s home. The present bed my own bed in my house now. The dream took place in the past bedroom but I shifted between past and present, aware of each shift.

As I lay curled up on my side (in both beds) I had a dream of an invisible man coming to me. I shifted OOB where I could feel him and hear him, but couldn’t see him. He had stubble on his face which kept scratching me as we kissed. His hands were large but gentle. I recall shifting back to check on my sleeping body in the past bed while observing from the present bed and then shifting back to be with him. I remember becoming passionate with him and pulling back when his stubble scratched my cheek. I commented to him about it even but did not complain. The energy started to build and for some reason I withdrew from him. I don’t remember why. Perhaps I had a consideration of being found out? When I withdrew he did not want me to go. His persistence created more intense energy and my second chakra began to ache in response. It was both painful and pleasurable. This woke me.

When I woke I was surprised and pleased. My lower chakras were active and swirling with energy. I told my guidance, “More please.” lol

I fell asleep for a while and was awakened at 3:30am by my arm which was very, very itchy. I was bitten twice a few nights ago by what I think was a mosquito but the bites did not heal like normal. Instead they have remained very itchy and red. The itchy feeling comes and goes and this is the first time it has wakened me.

I got up and put some cortisone cream on them and then covered them with band-aids to prevent me from scratching them in my sleep. Then returned to sleep.

This time I entered into a dream that was very different from any other Kundalini dream I’ve had.

I remember being at a mobile home and interacting with a woman and her husband. I believe I was having an affair with the woman and trying to stay hidden from the husband. I am not sure if I was male or female but I think I switched between genders because at the end I remember recognizing I was male but feeling female.

The woman is hard to recall and I am not even sure it was a woman. I suspect it was a guide or teacher and the dream camouflaged them to fit with my comfort zone. This guide was touching me and igniting a very pleasurable feeling – and this is an understatement. I recall kissing and the electricity that resulted was beyond my comprehension. It took my breath away and created a chain reaction in my body like a match lights a bonfire. The pleasure wasn’t just energetic but physical, too. Every point on my body that was touched responded the same and every time it happened I was in awe and super curious. I remember commenting about it but can’t recall my exact words. I felt like a teenager exploring and touching for the first time. The places I was touched – hands, arms, leg – all felt to connect and exhibited the same explosive, erotic and pleasurable sensation. The pleasure I experienced is beyond description. I have not experienced the K like that before.

This went on for some time until the woman (guide/teacher) hid me as her husband returned. I remember hiding outside the back door and then crawling around the side of the house. When I saw the woman standing there I froze, hiding from her, too, but knowing she would see me. This is when I felt to be male but female, also. When she looked at me, I woke up.


When I woke my crown chakra was swirling with energy and wide open. It felt like a stream of consciousness was entering via my crown, a feeling I haven’t felt in quite some time. When this happens it feels as if I am connected to my guidance/HS in an expansive way – a 360 degree feeling.

The memory of what had happened lingered and I was still in awe, asking what had happened and why. The first response was, “You have an itch you need to scratch”. The symbolism was not lost to me since I had awakened prior to this K experience from a very, very itchy arm. My response back was, “Shouldn’t I not scratch? Scratching leads to infection…” I got no reply, probably because I was over-thinking it. lol

Then my guidance reminded me of something I was told years ago in an OBE encounter with a guide who spoke with an accent. At that time the guide started a sentence and I finished it. He said, “Quite a fine sense you have. The more and more (I finished his sentence) you see, the more and more you will believe. Trust them to know what they see”. But this time it was the opposite – “The more and more you believe, the more and more you will see.”

I knew the explanation to be one I had heard many times before. When I first awakened I asked, “Why me? Why is this happening? How is it that I can do what I can do?” and was told, “Because you didn’t believe you couldn’t.”

We are limited by our beliefs. When we do not believe we can’t experience something that opens us up to all that we can. I was being told that I experienced this different K energy because I had no consideration that I couldn’t experience it. I was asked, “Imagine what you could Know if you tossed all limiting belief?”

This conversation left me feeling very optimistic as my imagination went wild with all the things I could experience and Know.

Other messages I received:

“It’s your turn”. This came after what seemed like a memory of my soul group and us “taking turns” in some way related to ascension and the planet. It felt like we went through cycles of “rest”. It’s like we are all holding a rope in tug-o-war and sometimes we have to let go to get a breather and the rest of our group holds on and takes up the slack while we rest. When we return to hold the reigns then others take breaks and so on and so forth.

Vision: I saw a flood of water and knew it was a message that I would witness others around me suffer through troubled times. I was reminded that I would be spared. I saw myself standing as the water flooded on either side but missed me entirely.

Heard a voice say my step-father chose to move on (died). This, I believe, is future related and so the timing of it unknown.

Time vs. No-Time

12-12-12 has come and gone without anything major happening. By major I mean that I had no Kundalini surges, OBEs or otherwise amazing spiritual experiences. Instead, I experienced something much more subtle yet just as powerful.

Firstly, I had a dream that connected the dots of other similar dreams I’ve had throughout the month. Without going into detail (too personal), the dreams continued a theme of “what if?” in which I looked at timelines that may have come into existence had I made different choices in this life. Basically I saw very clearly how I narrowly escaped a particularly difficult path wrought with major disappointment and confusion. In the end I recognized that the choices I made, mostly on a subconscious level, were the result of knowing myself much better than I could have ever realized. And the feelings and “gut” reactions (intuition) that led me along through the dark, winding path were accurate despite me not really understanding them and often fighting them.

Ultimately, the end result of my recognition of all of the above (plus much, much more) has left me feeling a sense of completion. It is subtle but most definitely present and for this I am grateful. It is like my soul is exhaling after holding its breath for several years.

Time vs No-Time

This morning when I awoke I was a bit disappointed to not have gotten to travel OOB or experience a profound spiritual event. So I was thinking of how nice it would be to leave this body and physical world and return Home to spirit. I then realized that once I left the limits of time and space behind me, all those things I wished to escape here in the physical, all the “problems”, struggles and not-knowing, would disappear instantly as I entered no-time.

With these thoughts I suddenly had a visual of a wavelength in motion. I knew instantly that the difference between time and no-time was the distance between the crests (highest points) of the waves.

The shorter the wavelength the more Knowing one has. The longer the wavelength the less knowing. The distance between crests is the amount of time it takes to go from un-Knowing to Knowing. The beginning of the descent into the trough (bottom of the wavelength) is the “question” and the next crest is the resolution or Knowing. The trough is the unknowing – all the time it takes to move through the process, or transform, into Knowing.

This process happens all the time without end. We Remember, we Forget, and then we Remember again. We have a problem, we proceed through time to get to a solution. Rinse and repeat. The physical universe, which is much lower in vibration than when we are in Spirit, creates more distance/time between Knowing and Not-Knowing.

When in Spirit the problems and upsets we have in physical life become unimportant. Why? Because the time between Knowing and Not-Knowing is reduced substantially. All that exists in no-time is the question followed by immediate Knowing. Thus, the relief we all seek so eagerly. Yet we come back into time over and over, purposefully, to experience not-Knowing. Why? To experience the process (time and distance) of not-Knowing to Knowing. We slow down to relish the process. We extract all the sweet juices from it.

What I understood was that when in Spirit there is Knowing in abundance because we are resonating at a very high frequency. Ultimately, at Source, there is All-Knowing/omnipotence, no distance between crests on a wavelength.

Ascension and Knowing

As we raise our vibration (ascend), the distance between wavelengths in our energy decreases. So, we begin to Know quicker, learn quicker and manifest much quicker than we use to. The distance is still there, just less of it. We still have to go through the process of transforming not-knowing into Knowing. We still experience time. We just move faster.

As a result we manifest at a quicker rate. Our thoughts become reality quicker. The time-lag is reduced. As we ascend, our vibration increases thus the wavelength of our energy decreases.

Some call this living in 5D but I prefer to think of it as living more in line with the Divine Self.

For those interested in learning more about vibration and manifestation, I came across this article this morning: The Law of Vibration and How to Manipulate It.


Hello Belief. Goodbye Belief.

How are you handling the blood moon total eclipse and full moon energies? How about all the planets in retrograde? lol Crazy, right?

I have been reading “rebirth” as the theme of these times. Some are saying this is a total life change type of rebirth, like heading in a totally new direction in life via unexpected pathways. Thing is, it is not easy to tell just yet because it is isn’t over. There is another eclipse – a partial solar eclipse – on August 11th.

I am also reading that during this time life will bring up unresolved past issues in unexpected ways. A similar message came to me via dreamtime indicating I may run into issues from 2010. I can’t even recall much of 2010 so IDK. lol I am sure life will remind me when the time is right.

Finally, “emotional” is another word I am reading frequently. This full moon will bring “heightened emotions” for all signs of the zodiac, etc, etc. Thing is, don’t all full moon’s have the tendency do this?

For me, personally, I have already indicated that I am not noticing too much myself. Yeah, I have had a couple of emotionally intense dreams and some irritation at too much random noise (talking especially), but otherwise things are pretty smooth-going and calm for me. In fact, things are looking pretty darn good. Based on the way my life has been going, I have to say all this retrograding is great and I like it. And the full moon eclipse brought me my first OBEs in ages, so I am happy with it, too. I say bring it on and keep it going because it is awesome. lol

It is always interesting to me how everyone jumps onto the current bandwagon (eclipses, retrograde planets and now Lion’s Gate) and makes a big deal in their own way. This happens every.single.year – well since I started following blogs and being more active online (around 2014). I wonder sometimes why everyone gets so excited over these types of things especially since they have been occurring since the beginning (of Earth, of physical Time as we know it). If I think back to before my awakening and compare how I felt then to now (energy-wise), it hasn’t changed. The only thing that has changed is that now I know such things are happening behind-the-scenes. Beyond that, it is still the same.

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Real-time shot of the sun that morning.

Recently I had a talk with my husband about the universe sending us “symbols” and “signs”. He doesn’t believe in such things, really, but he got a sign nonetheless and I pointed it out to him because, well, that is what I tend to do. lol The way it happened is he and I opted to have breakfast together before work one morning last week. As we drove to the restaurant, the sky opened up and gave us a beautiful show that lasted the entire drive. It brought me joy and I mentioned it but my husband kept talking away (as he tends to do) about current issues and life stuff.

At a stop light he stopped talking, turned and touched something I couldn’t see. He said, “Look at this! See this tiny worm? It’s on a string! I wonder what kind of worm it is?” I looked and saw it was a tiny inch worm. I told him it was a message and that I could look it up for him. He said, “I don’t believe in that kind of thing.”

What he does believe in is that we are the cause of everything we experience. I pointed this out to him and asked if he could consider then that the worm was placed there by him and the reason for it’s placement was known by him, if he only chose to look/listen. I asked him to consider what it meant to him. He didn’t answer but was pensive for a while. His main take from the whole conversation was that the universe has much to show us if we would only stop and pay attention.

Later, I looked up the inchworm symbolism and low and behold it fit him and his situation perfectly. I sent him an email and we had a good laugh about it later.

The whole point of this story is that none of it matters – the astrological events, the eclipse, Lion’s Gate, ascension, etc – unless you think it does. Period. There is no “right” or “wrong” about it. It just IS. If you choose to notice, then you will see. If you choose to hear/receive a message, then you will hear. If you believe Lion’s Gate will blow your world apart or rain blessings down upon you, then it will. Rebirth? Why not? Just believe it and it will BE.

For me, it is easy to say, “Well I didn’t know any of this until my guidance brought it to my attention. Otherwise, I would never have known about a ‘rebirth’ and the ‘opportunity’ coming my way.” But this is not true. This is just the human part of me playing the game of “not knowing” in order to experience “not knowing”. Ultimately, we know ALL. There is nothing we don’t know unless we choose to not know. Chew on that for a while. It will throw your human mind/Ego into tantrums pretty quickly. lol

So, if you think this eclipse season is the reason for all you are experiencing right now – it is. And so is anything else you believe will come of it. If, by chance, you “sense” a negative experience arising from this belief, then you do have the ability to shift that to your advantage. The catch is, you must believe. hehe That means you have to undo your previous belief (meaning no longer believe) and institute a new one. Not an easy task and why we often get stuck and think that things are happening to us and we have no control over any of it. It can take many days/weeks/months even years to undo a belief!

What I have learned is that thinking and analyzing regularly leads to more complication. Surrender is the best route. This means tossing expectation (which is composed of belief) and just accepting in the moment what the universe has to show you in that moment. This all boils down to having no belief, which is humanly impossible (at least to my knowledge). Notice the emphasis on human. So try and give yourself a break and just enjoy the ride. We are human after all.


Growing Up

Again I apologize for the long lag in posts. I just don’t feel motivated in this regard much these days. Since February my blog has become a non-priority. There are no considerations like I use to have such as – No one would notice if I don’t write. No one cares anyway.…etc. All those “poor me” thoughts desperate for some kind of acknowledgment and validation. Instead my mind is just blank and there is no desire to share like there use to be.

This shift includes a loss of desire and interest in dream interpretation for the most part as well. I do occasionally document a dream here and there but analysis is limited. I recognize that analysis of my dreams often leads me to speculation about future events. This in and of itself is not healthy for me. So, I can see the purpose behind it.

Of the dreams I do recall and take time to write down, there are themes indicating a “growing up” or maturation process is occurring. In fact, I had a string of dreams over the course of a couple of weeks where I observed the growth of my “daughter” from infancy to adulthood.

The only reason I recall the dreams about my daughter’s maturation process is that my partner in Spirit made appearances, sometimes within the dream of upon waking. Here is one example. This was from a dream in which my daughter, previously a toddler, had grown to the point of experiencing her first menses. I was washing her soiled garments when my partner approached me in the dream:

……..an older man who resembled Robert Redford came up and put his hand on my left hip. I felt our connection but ignored it all the while nervous he would instigate something more intimate and I would not be able to resist him. He was very gentle with me and kind……..Toward the end of the dream he came up behind me again and touched me gently on the shoulder. He pulled me close, wrapping his arms around me from behind, and offered me a plate full of doughnuts and danishes – all sweet foods. I did not take one. I could feel the beautiful connection we shared intensify and it woke me up.

I have not spent much time analyzing what these dreams mean overall, but I suspect that a new aspect was born from my February embodiment and is in the process of maturing. Eventually she (me) will be ready for what lies ahead. I can only speculate as to what that is.

Life is to be Lived

In the meanwhile, I have been focused primarily on living life. A Zen proverb applies here – Before enlightenment, chop wood carry water. After enlightenment, chop wood carry water. I’m not saying I am “enlightened” by any means, but I did experience or get a taste of it in February. There is no way a person comes away from such an experience unchanged; however, life goes on.

Before enlightenment, chop wood, carry water. After enlightenment, chop wood, carry water. -Zen ...

For me life consists of family obligations and the usual day-to-day tasks that go with it. The main difference now is that I perform the tasks of living with an awareness that was not present before. This new awareness reminds me daily, hourly, sometimes by the minute, to apply what I have learned in each new moment – surrender and acceptance is the lesson.

During my embodiment experience surrender and acceptance came easy. I lived and breathed it in every moment. Life was so much easier, much more beautiful and flowing, during that time. I got to experience the reality of a life of acceptance and ease. It was my reality for three solid weeks.

Since then that reality has broken down somewhat. This was/is purposeful, for the human experience is not meant to be easy but to challenge us to step up and into our full potential. Life and all the illusions that goes with this reality acts as barriers to the ease and acceptance that is our true nature as Spirit. The lesson now, for me and many others like me, is to learn to bring forward into this reality our Light; to embrace the “chop wood, carry water” routine without expectation, fully surrendering to the experience and the moment, and carrying with us the Memory of who We Are so that our Light can penetrate the density of this physical reality.

Additionally, I am learning how to recognize and prevent the Ego from taking over and resuming it’s dictatorial rule over this life, body and physical experience. Just because I experienced an “Ego death” does not mean the Ego was eliminated nor does it mean that it cannot return from the dead. This requires diligence and a conscious effort on my part. The Ego has the advantage. It has been ruler for this entire life and has established itself via habits and beliefs based upon the illusion of this physical reality. Tearing it down was just the beginning. Keeping it down is the real challenge.

My method is to not use force to keep it down but to instead use love and understanding. I listen to it without becoming the effect of it. Then I talk to it and help it to understand, to Remember, and show it my perspective. So far this is working, but there have been occasional upsets along the way. It is to be expected.


Currently, the plan is to “stay the course” in regards to my life situation. This means no major changes are to be made to my life path or circumstances at present. You can imagine how difficult these instruction are for the Ego to digest. It wants to know “how long?” and “then what?” It’s reaction is very similar to that of a two-year-old child and as such loving reminders need to be provided at consistent intervals in order to stave off tantrums.

At present the main objective on a personal level is, as I mentioned previously, live life with acceptance and ease. Personally, the focus has been on healing and balance of the physical body. Many lessons involved here, but the main ones are how to listen to the body and how to maintain it and avoid break downs. Similar to a car, we humans tend to use up our bodies until they break down and force us to listen and perform necessary maintenance. When young, it is easy to ignore the body’s cues to us because the signals it sends are rarely intensely painful or alarming. They are there, but overlooked as “growing pains” or some lesser condition.

If you are like me, then you just push past those minor body complaints. Most young people do this and, as there are no major complications to follow, continue to do so until such complications present themselves. This, I am learning, is a big no-no.

How am I learning this? Well, mostly I seem to have become hyper-aware of all sorts of body complaints that I was not aware of before. They were always present but I ignored them. I had become so use to ignoring my body that I didn’t even notice them. But now I am so much more in-tune with my body that I am noticing all kinds of things that are in need of repair. Nothing major, thankfully, but they could easily turn into much more complicated issues without proper rest and healing.

The main method of repairing my body for me continues to be yoga. The Ego and I have lots of arguments about it, though. “Yoga is boring” is the primary complaint. lol This is very true in comparison with all the high intensity exercise routines (running, weight lifting, HIIT, boot camp) that are my normal go-to stress relief. Yet I know deep down these high-intensity workouts are taking a toll on my body and are not conducive to a pain-free, healthy and functional body in the future. The message I received in February and continue to receive (Remember) is that less is more in regards to high-intensity exercise. My tendency is the opposite and my goal is to slowly work my way toward a more balanced fitness routine incorporating more yoga and mobility training while slowly eliminating high-intensity exercises.

What yoga does is force you to feel and listen to your body. It is very mentally and physically challenging in it’s own right. I attribute my new hyper-sensitivity to my body to all the yoga I have been doing. My HS and inner Knowing is saying, “More yoga please.” It is leading me toward certification but my Ego has a lot of fear regarding this path despite knowing it will lead to a much more balanced, healthy and happy life.

In February, I was excited about yoga and accepted the path toward certification without hesitation. Since then the Ego has worked hard to diverge from that path. Yet the messages still get through. For example, this week alone I had several messages all pointing to the certification path. There is a certification workshop in Atlanta, GA in September I figured I could go to and then visit my friends in TN. But it kept being put off and was all but forgotten until this week. Out of the blue a reminder came to mind. “Don’t forget,” it said. All kinds of reasons and excuses came to mind. So no decision was made.

A week passed.

Then, when running a 5K race, I met a guy who just kept talking to me and being friendly. He looked like a young Ewan McGregor. Really. lol Anyway, he talked to me before the race and then again at the end of the race. Turns out he won the 5K. 1st place. After some talking I discovered he was visiting Austin from Nashville. I thought it odd but ignored the “coincidence”.

Later in the day I went for a walk and parked right across the street from my house was a car with Georgia plates. It is still parked there. lol

All the while my SIL and BIL were visiting family in Dalton and Atlanta, GA and sending us photos of their road trip.

Eventually I was like, “Okay, what gives?” lol

Since then my guidance continues to nudge me toward attending the workshop, but I keep contacting an (illogical) fear of this path. So, we compromised by purchasing a yoga video package that will prep me for the workshop should I opt to go. I have until July to decide.

In the meanwhile, I opted to do the first video in the package I bought. It was a grounding flow that lasted over an hour. When I finished I felt….different. It is hard to say how really but my body felt lighter and more limber. My energy was light but grounded. It felt really good.

Finally, I want to share a vision that continues to visit me in regards to this whole yoga path. It is really more of a feeling and sense than a visual, but I do get visual flashes here and there. The feeling is flowing and calm, without stress or anxiety. I feel centered and solid in this body and life. Purpose is present as well. Work isn’t “work” anymore. It is enjoyable and part of my daily, healthy regime that balances mind, body and Spirit. The visuals are mostly colors – muted blue, indigo and pink like stained glass. There is also a sense of belonging and a group of friends who are like family.

Of course, the Ego can’t accept any of this vision as a possibility. Stress and worry are her reality. Take that away and replace it with ease and acceptance and it scares her. She is left grappling for anything familiar to hold onto. So we ease into change, show her that it isn’t scary and IS possible.


This morning I transitioned from the dreamstate into the in-between. A tunnel appeared before me and within it a vision of a beautiful mountain lake. Everything had a purple/pink cast to it. The lake itself was indigo with purple and pink highlights. The sky mirrored this. The mountains were not towering high like the Rockies but subtler with varying shades of greenery. It was a peaceful, beautiful scene. I felt myself pulled into this window but my awareness peaked and so I did not go OOB.

Before I was pulled into full, waking consciousness, I found myself standing on the shore of this lake with a humanoid Being who felt very masculine to me. He towered above me, though, a good two or more feet. His form was very human-like, with broad shoulders, two arms, two legs, hands, feet and a head, but his arms were much longer than a human’s would be in proportion to his body and his head had no hair and appeared more rounded.

We stood and talked for a while. I took his hand and told him I wanted to go Home, that I disliked this human disconnect and empty feeling. I longed for the connection of Home – the love and deep friendship and peace that came with it. He acknowledged me and explained that I was here to learn, which I know already, but his explanation was more accepted than previous ones I have gotten. I understand now why I am here with more depth than ever before. It is a feeling I feel in my core and it always arises when my purpose is explored or questioned.

This masculine presence explained to me that the human experience was unique and valuable, far beyond experiences in other realities and in other bodies. This came after I requested to change bodies, to get out of this human one. I seemed to remember the freedom innate in other forms and it contrasted greatly with the human form.

Timestreams were then discussed. It was explained that though we exist in multiple dimensions simultaneously, the human Timestream is separate from the other Timestreams (his wording not mine). I saw the Timestreams. They looked like colored waves of water or streamers floating or vibrating to their own rhythm and time. Most of the colors I saw resembled the lake vision in color – purple, blue, pink. This separateness is only present in our awareness here. When we extract ourselves from the human awareness we then can travel amidst all Timestreams and select ones we wish to experience at will.

Infinity was explored as well, or Remembered is a better word. As was perfection and the paradox of being perfect Beings attempting to perfect our reaction (experiences in) to the finite, which is impossible but achievable at the same time. It seemed as though our task/purpose as infinite Beings is to attempt to create perfection out of the imperfect. The feat seems insurmountable but within I found complete understanding and acceptance. It is not the end result that is important but the path we travel to get to an end that will never come. We are Builders and Creators but destruction is inherent in the process and all results are honored for their exquisiteness as if a dessert whose every bite is savored and relished.

I was then reminded of the vision I had yesterday. I saw the Earth going dark six times, one after the other. At the time I assumed the darkness was created by a great event like an eclipse. This morning, though, I realized it was likely much simpler than that. The darkness comes every night. What I was seeing was the passage of day into night six times. So the passing of six days. The lesson was that I need to take what I am shown at face value rather than looking for some deeper meaning.

The Experiencer and the Observer

A realization I’ve been having of late has been that I am experiencing this life now in two ways simultaneously. Life is viewed/experienced both as the Experiencer and the Observer. The Experiencer is familiar because that has been the viewpoint I have taken for the majority of this lifetime. Now, however, I am aware of the Observer as a constant. I am both Experiencer and Observer and recognize the purpose of both within this human experience.

The Observer viewpoint wants only to sit back and let the Experiencer experience life. She does not wish to interfere in the daily on-goings, actions and words, routines and challenges. Her job is similar to that of a scientist who is observing a closed experiment. She jots down observations, draws conclusions and makes hypotheses. Her viewpoint is objective.

The Experiencer is human and very reactive. She is suppose to react. Her job is to play her role and provide data to the Observer for improvement in the greater game. Her viewpoint is subjective.

Being able to view my life as both, simultaneously, is strange in a sense but perfectly normal at the same time. I have been doing this the entire time but was not aware of the Objective side except occasionally through glimpses here and there.

The Objective me has been with this body the whole time. I am aware of myself as this aspect. Fully. She is patient, focused, results-oriented and detailed. She makes adjustments to the experiement that then trickle down to the Experiencer as alterations in the path. Some are major, most are minor.

Currently, as the Experiencer, I am now able to identify the feelings and intuitions I have long had in this life as my “instructions” from the Observer. Before, the identification of these intuitions were lost on me resulting in mostly confusion and tantrums/resistance/impatience. For example, currently I feel as if in a void, and though I wish to take action I feel unmotivated toward any considered changes. There are often feelings of upset, irritation and impatience surfacing as a result. The Objective me understands the void feeling as an instruction to “take no new action” and “continue on course”. This Objective side learns a great deal from these periods and makes adjustments accordingly when learning plateaus.

As a result of this perception shift there is an increase of acceptance and balance within. I always thought the goal was to be the Observer but am learning this is only partially true. The Observer has its part to play as does the Experiencer. We are partners.

Dreams, Mini-OBEs and Higher Self Confusion

Lots to share so I hope you’re all ready for a long post…. 🙂

First off, this full moon has me in hyper-drive. I have gone from uninterrupted, deep sleep, to struggling to fall asleep, waking really early (3am!) and then being unable to return to sleep.

To top it all off, my joints are achy and stiff, specifically my knees and elbows. My stomach feels like it has a log in it and I have poison ivy and now more acne issues. But hey, the perpetual crick in my neck is gone so I’m not complaining. lol

Frustrated, I asked last night for some intel – Hey, what’s going on and why am I not in on it? 

Ask and you shall receive….


The dream began with me in the car (life path) with my husband. He was driving (masculine/logic in control) and in the middle lane stopped at a light. He realized that he needed to turn right (feminine/intuitive perspective) so moved the car sideways toward the right lane to turn only he couldn’t move because we were stopped at the light. When the traffic began to move he got stuck because everyone drove around him. I told him, “Just keep going straight, we can turn right up the road.” He stalled and I said, “If you don’t want to drive, I can…” So he shifted gears and went straight. I said, “Look for a large jail, the turn is right after.” We did see a large building on the right but it was not a jail. Confused I said, “Just turn up there.” So he turned right at the intersection.

The dream shifted and I was getting out of the car and heading into a building where a gathering was to take place. I remember being self-conscious because I had a large scab (healing process) on my left (masculine) cheek (intimacy or commitment) that I kept picking at (interfering with healing). It was about the size of a peanut. I picked thinking the scab was ready to come off but it bled a ton and I had to put tissue on it to get it to stop.

I went inside knowing I had no makeup to cover it up. Thankfully it was low light inside, like a bar setting. Several others were seated at the bar (feeling barred from something) when I sat down and a “bartender” was behind the bar (I’m creating the barrier). My friend Aryn came and sat down on my left and began to chatter away happily, wanting to catch up. I said to her, “Not now. I look like crap.” She stopped talking and I moved my hair over the scab on my face to hide it. I looked around at the others – there were only four – and the lady behind the bar mentioned it was almost time to start. I said, “Then no one else is coming? Good! I prefer it that way.” One of the other ladies said, “I’m sure the others will be here shortly.”

I walked over to the side where the meeting would be held and a man with orange-red hair came out of a door. Seeing him stopped me in my tracks. For some reason he stood out like a beacon in the darkness. He said to all of us, “Everyone grab a card and have a seat in the circle.” I looked over and saw oversized tarot cards with gold embellishments flash like a movie in my mind. The cards seemed to have images of people on them, people from ancient times.

I turned back to the man and said, “Ian. I know you. We have met before, haven’t we?” He smiled and I saw how odd his red hair was. It was like someone had cut his hair in a mullet but the top, shorter portion, was bowl-shaped and the bottom portion fanned out underneath touching his shoulders. He smiled a friendly smile and said, “Yes. We’ve met before. About two years ago now.” I said, “It’s been a long time, then.” He nodded and I felt somewhat uncomfortable, like I should have seen more of him but hadn’t.

I looked in my purse and noticed I had left my phone (communication/connection) in the car so went back to fetch it while the group waited for the others to arrive. I also hoped to look in the car mirror to reassure myself that I didn’t look as bad as I thought.

Inside the car as I was retrieving my phone a woman with brown hair popped in and said hi, calling me by the wrong name. I said, “My name is Dayna.” She said hi again and as I was about to ask her name she left. I remember recognizing her but was not sure how I knew her and this confused my dream self.

As I walked back inside I saw the sky was painted in purple (devotion, love, kindness, compassion). The clouds were also purple and dotted the skyline. My breath was taken away by the beauty of it. Another person mentioned it was not a good sign, like a storm was coming. I said, “It’s the most beautiful thing I’ve ever seen.”

The visuals woke me up and I was still face down, my neck feeling a bit stiff from the position I was laying in. I felt the familiar buzzing vibrations and warmth of my guidance/partner and smiled, rolled over and attempted to return to sleep.


I was greeted with several visions or mini-dreams. In one I was walking along and looked down at a tiny, toy car – a red sports car. It brought me out of my reverie very quickly and I noted the vision.  Seeing the car as so tiny and toy-like was a message about perspective.

In another vision I was inside what looked like an oversized birdcage (loss of freedom). My legs were scrunched up against my stomach and my arms wrapped around them. The bars were distinct and the meaning obvious. The message was that I was like a caged bird and I needed to free myself.


Somehow I managed to return to sleep. In this particular ‘episode’ I was in a room with a couple who had a son. They looked Indian and were wearing Indian clothing, the woman especially beautiful in her flowing gown. I was inside a giant, clawfoot bathtub (self-renewal) and their son was standing outside of it talking to me. He wanted a cup of tea (life satisfaction/contentment). I had a kettle and poured him a cup of Chamomile (patience) tea but he wouldn’t take it. I set it down and said, “It’s Chamomile so it will make you sleepy…..You don’t want it? That’s okay. You don’t have to drink it. ” I set the cup down and realized the bathtub I was in was filled to the top with tea and I was bathing in it.

I smiled and the boy playfully began to push the bathtub to make it rock. It almost fell over but then stabilized. His parents had concerned looks but I reassured them we were just playing.

I watched the couple for a while. They looked so beautiful and connected in each other’s arms. I was a tad bit jealous, wanting what they had. That’s when I noticed I was completely naked inside the tub filled with tea. I stood up as I spoke to them and let them see my nakedness (accepting of myself, lack of shame).

The scene shifted and I was inside a home in the kitchen (transformation is about to take place) talking to someone. I don’t recall much of our conversation now but I remember him. He looked familiar but I’m not sure how or from where I knew him. He was tall, broad shouldered and had sandy blonde, thick hair. His face was a bit rugged looking like he had acne in his younger years. His voice was deep and familiar and reminded me of that of a good ol’ boy – typical Texas accent. Our interaction was friendly, like we knew each other well.

I went up to him to try and get his attention and he ignored me, busy doing something. I can’t recall what I was trying to talk to him about but his rebuttal was not mean and I playfully remarked that he was purposefully ignoring me. His eyes stayed focused on what he was doing. My memory only shows something mechanical but what, I cannot say.

At some point I recognized I was OOB and could explore, so I shifted out of my dream body and attempted to fly away. The free feeling was exhilarating! The response back was immediate and without words. It said, “You know better than that.” I was sucked right back into my body but bypassed the typical blackout and went directly back into the kitchen scene. I remember not caring and understanding that I needed to stay where I was, but that didn’t keep me from trying again.

This time, however, I did not attempt to take control of the “dream”/experience I was having. Instead I let myself stabilize in the scene and played along with it. The feeling here was that I “controlled” the playful side, pulling her “into” me and thus becoming both her and me at the same time.

I once again went up to my male friend. This time he was standing in the middle of the room looking away from me. I grabbed his arm and pulled him toward me into a hug. He seemed to be playing hard to get. It felt like we knew each other well and we were being playful. He continued to look away from me, pretending to ignore me. I was pressed up against him and said something indicating I wanted to dance (freedom, balance, harmony). He responded by stepping on my foot. I said, “So you’re going to step on my foot?” He said, “You know it.” We both laughed and then danced awkwardly for a bit, playing around, his foot continuing to get in the way of mine (my masculine side is slowing me down, getting in my way).

For some reason we stopped and stood there holding each other, face to face. I wasted no time. grabbed his mouth and kissed him. I could feel the sensation of his lips on mine as well as his arms wrapped around me and his body next to mine. It was so real and solid. Our kiss was like a half-French kiss, not full tongue but a little here and there. It was nice and familiar, like we had kissed a million times.

Sadly, the second kiss and the very physical sensations that went with it brought me out of the experience. Not long after I woke, I noticed a pain in my tailbone radiating through to my perineum. It was uncomfortable enough to keep me from returning to sleep.


As I lingered in bed the pain subsided. I suspect my root chakra had activated and some major blockage was clearing.

My partner/guide was close and I knew he was the man in my dream. I asked him why he looked different every time. I have asked this many times before. He said, “I have many faces, as do you.” I have gotten this answer every time but this time I understood what he meant because I have experienced it. We are One but the concept of Oneness is difficult for humans to understand. Human conceptualization of Oneness is a futile attempt at understanding something that cannot be understood from a position of separation. It takes Being it to understand it.

With this I told my partner how I would explain it to others. He complimented me on my ability to put into words something so few can. Of course, I can’t recall what I said now. lol I remember the visuals in my mind, though. I saw humans and how we try to put everything on a timeline, thus we see before and after; past, present and future. Events are all separate and occuring in an orderly fashion. In Spirit, none of this exists. Before/after – past, present, future – they are all NOW. The experience of NOW via human perception would seem very chaotic and jumbled; senseless.

Similarly, people we encounter after we drop these human bodies and corresponding identities are all NOW, too. Thus, your father who passed before you would be familiar as your father in your most recent incarnation but you would also know him as all his past, present and future personalities as well, which are endless. His face may look as it did initially but the more you leave behind Time, the more your perception would change until all you see in him is You. The difference in perception comes with attachment (emotional/karmic). As you release the human tendency toward attachment you embrace your Infinite Self, thus recognizing your Oneness with All that Is.

I laughed as I considered my personality in this lifetime as a “child” of mine, one that I dote upon. For the first time in this lifetime, after years of being referred to my “partner” in Spirit as a “child”, I understood what it meant.

As I write this I recall part of my conversation with the man in my OBE. He said to me, “Be good”, which I have heard from him countless times and never quite understood. In the experience with him I recognized what he meant was in reference to an aspect or part of my personality I consider “good”. It’s the part of me that seeks to please others and is compliant and pleasant. She is happy-go-lucky, go-with-the-flow, innocent but not naive. I recognized her response within me to his request and then she “partitioned off” and become a separate identity. Yet I was still her and felt to be her. So there I was standing and watching this part of me come out of me, standing in front of us smiling. She was me and I her but she also had her own identity, separate and independent but cooperative and understanding of our connection and Oneness.

Imagine that, just multiplied by infinity. Then meet one of yourself and say hi. That was the person on the street you greeted with a smile. That was the man who accidentally cut you off in traffic and who you rudely honked your horn at and cussed out. That is your mom who you love with all your heart but wish would leave you alone. That is your son. Your daughter. Your worst enemy. Your best friend.

Yep. All you.

I am reminded now of the vision of the tiny car. Cars = life path. They represent us as individuals. It being super tiny indicates that I am being asked to take a larger view of my path and life, to see just how tiny I am in comparison to it all. This perspective is needed now.

crossroad at dawn in rural landscape

Critical Intersection Ahead

There was a message I forgot to mention. I remember hearing that a critical intersection was approaching and I was being prepared for it. Not everyone has reached this intersection. It was made clear that I am not to make those not yet at this juncture “wrong” for seemingly being “behind” because they are not behind but exactly where they should be. I understood but wanted to mention it nonetheless in case those of you reading who are also at this juncture, or perhaps way beyond it, find yourself falling victim to the “us vs. them” mentality. We are all equal in this race. There are no winners or losers. We all cross the finish line at different times but we are only victorious when the last runner crosses the finish line and not a moment before that.

Embodiment and Higher Self Confusion

It was also reiterated to me that I need to do my part and I said, “Of course. Anything. What do I do?” Though not directly stated, I was reminded of a visual representation I received not long ago about the Embodiment (soul transfer/soul exchange/walk-in) process. Then I heard the term, “Higher-Self Confusion”. I was shown how this is part of the process and that just because you have embodied your HS does not mean you somehow become flawless, perfect and without human Ego. It only means you are integrating aspects which have long been denied you in human form. Now, though, memory is returning. The HS Confusion comes in when you have recently undergone embodiment, experienced the transformative process and must integrate the experience. Your human consciousness is left confused.

HS Confusion occurs as we take the pieces of HS we embodied and mix it with our human self. I know I wonder each time, “Why am I seeming to ‘return’ to who/what I once was? Why can I not remain as I was during embodiment?” It feels like a let-down, like it was all a dream or fantasy as reality once again sets in. For me, I have experienced two MAJOR embodiment periods, the first lasted two weeks and the second three weeks (more actually).

This is where the “demonstration” comes in. I was shown how to show the embodiment process and told that if I do a video of this demonstration it will not only give you all an idea of what embodiment IS but also why it results in HS Confusion. What you will see is that as the HS comes into the human consciousness at first it is distinctly separate. You can see the individual stream against the backdrop of the human energy/consciousness. As time passes, however, the HS stream blends into the human consciousness stream and what is left is a brand new blended consciousness.

I have not even watched the video so I hope it is decent. lol Just no time to go back and refilm to make it “perfect”. I figure it says what it needs to say without lots of fluff.

I know I didn’t talk too much about my experience of embodiment so I will a little now. Like I say in the video, my embodiment experiences have lasted weeks. My first experience was two weeks and the most recent three weeks.

Each time I experience embodiment I have specific “symptoms”, the most prominent being that my crown is wide open. There is also a sense of being more than me; of being BIGGER than myself and Remembering SO SO MUCH. There is nothing but the present moment. Anything past or future is muddy, my mind seeming to forget the existence of both. I simply exist and enjoy my existence. It is magical and unforgettable. I am HOME.

Not everyone will experience embodiment like me. Some may have only hints of it lasting mere minutes while others may walk around like I did for much longer than I did. Some even say they exist in the embodied state all the time. I believe we will all be like that eventually, when we are “full up” and completely merged.

Anyway, if you got this far, hope you enjoyed the read and video. Please like and share both this post and the video if you have time/desire.




I know I have not written much on my personal spiritual journey for a long while, other than to post an OBE or two. Spiritual experiences continue, but are unclear initially and need much processing. Plus, I am observing the impermanence of experience and waiting for information to process – to solidify – before I share it. This goes against the grain of my previous personality, I know. Rest assured, the part of me that wishes to blurt out everything I experience is still here but has learned to stand down and allow the process to unfold. There is much wisdom to be found in patient observation. Patient – also a word that I would normally not use to describe myself. 🙂

This morning when I woke I had clarity where there has been none for quite a few weeks. Mercury retrograde threw me into the mind more than the norm and, thus, made it difficult for me to feel through situations as they arose. Thankfully, the incidents during retrograde were mostly minor in nature – a broken Smart TV and stove burner ignition – along with other materially-oriented irritations and annoyances. Anything material/physical was really pushing my buttons during the retrograde. Thankfully, it is over now.

I have been receiving messages for some time now about “the Event” everyone has been talking about. Honestly, I have not read anything online about it and other than my own, personal “event”, have not sought out any information. Regardless, my guidance has been nudging me toward understanding and provided some insight.


This morning a discussion was on-going but I only got a glimpse of the end of it. I was reminded of a friend of my sister’s who I also knew. His name was Wesley and he was a wild, free-spirit young man who had many inner demons he was avoiding confronting. He avoided them by taking drugs of all kinds and drinking alcohol. It was obvious he was an alcoholic and very self-destructive. It was as if he was out to kill himself via drugs/alcohol. In the time I knew him I witnessed his behavior and even one time passed on a message to him from his father who had died when he was younger. He was so overwhelmed by my message that he began to ask me how I knew and proclaimed my gift must be made up, composed of guesses that just happened to be truth. It deeply affected him, I could tell. Later that night he snorted cocaine and was wilder than ever.

I remember my sister telling me several years later of a horrible accident. Wesley had been on an island vacation partying as was his style. He was up on the fourth floor of the hotel, sitting on the railing and suddenly fell backward and over the rails. He ended up landing on a fence below, breaking his back and nearly dying. He ended up a quadriplegic, unable to move anything but his head.

Afterward, he fell into a deep depression. His girlfriend at the time ended up sticking by his side, dedicated to him to the point of marrying him post-accident. The last I heard he had regained use of his arms and was happily married and doing well despite his disability.

In remembering this man’s story I thought that he had been forced to confront his demons via life events. He was drunk and high when he fell and broke his back. The accident forced him to awaken to that which he was trying so desperately not to see. He followed the path of sobriety later and as a result the path of healing. I do not know how he is today but I feel that he is much wiser and more appreciative of life now.

A message I received from my guidance related to Wesley’s story was that sometimes, when we refuse to wake up to something, we have to force ourselves to awaken so that we see what it is that we need to see. In these instances a traumatic life event often is the “force” that awakens us.

My guidance and I discussed the trauma happening worldwide to wake up portions of the population. This goes hand-in-hand with a feeling I have been having about the collective. It seems that in order for collective humanity to wake up, something traumatic must occur. I sensed that there would be more trauma worldwide in the coming years last night. I remember thinking, “Apocalypse?” I heard back, “Not that bad but things will get worse.”

For a very long while I have had a Knowing that part of humanity will ascend and part will not. It seems that this ascension is coming to a “T”. The more force/pressure there is, the more people will react. It is just part of the process and a necessary one.

Other experiences I’ve had indicate that some will “see” the process as it occurs and be aware of the split timelines as they occur, while others will not.


Our discussion then turned to my past experiences related to and a result of December 2015 – the ever-dreaded “twin flame”-type experience. Now, on the other side of such an experience, I have so much more perspective. I am able to see very clearly the true nature of such connections and the lessons they provide. The energy dynamics are especially obvious. Not only is there an unhealthy, obsessive need to connect and be with the other person but the imbalance created in the energy body in and of itself is phenomenal! It is a completely illogical process meant to thrust a person directly into full-awareness and confrontation of their inner demons. It is, in essence, a “traumatic” experience. 😉

I sensed through it all “this is not good for me” yet at the same time I knew it could teach me something and I chose to submit fully to the experience rather than resist it. This decision, as it turns out, was the right one.

Ultimately, the experience taught me about extremes and how to choose the middle path of balance. Duality is all about extremes and the best way to navigate through it is to seek the middle road – the path of balancing those extreme energies – or as my guidance says, “Follow the 8 winds”. In the end, the only way to recover from the “twin flame” experience was to surrender fully to it.

I think what most people don’t get, because I didn’t get it, is the act of surrender and what it truly consists of. It is not “giving up” or “giving in”. The very act of giving up implies that you “lose” something, that you are “wrong” or made a “mistake”. This consideration in and of itself will prevent full surrender from ever occurring. Surrender doesn’t mean you lose or fail. Surrender means you are seeking to be one with the experience. When you can do this, you have entered into- merged with – full acceptance.

The tendency is to approach surrender from the mind – to mentally “surrender” via affirmations or decisions to surrender or let go. This doesn’t work. True surrender doesn’t occur via the mind. Mental constructs only serve to build up resistance. Construct = construction = build up. We need to tear down, de-construct. It is all via feeling, via our energy, that progress is made. The mind is just an afterthought and distraction.

I cannot put into words what complete surrender is other than what I wrote above. It just IS and until you experience it for yourself you will not fully grock it. The feeling of it, when it occurs, is peaceful and flowing. There is absolutely no resistance. The energy body becomes relaxed and fully open and receptive. It is a full energetic body experience. There is no rigidity to the experience whatsoever. You would be completely happy existing within that state for eternity, even when it is something that your human self would reject completely. Because as Spirit, all states of existence are equal.

Get it?

Only when you fully embrace it will you be freed of it.

This is why traumatic experiences are often the ones that have the most lasting effects upon us while in the physical body. We resist so intensely things we see as “bad” that we must be thrust directly into them against our will to finally recognize their “badness” is not so bad. And if we really allow the experience then the “bad” definition vanishes and it just IS.

The same goes for the “good”, sought-after experiences. We recognize the experience just IS, do not attach and cling, and can experience it in the moment without worrying about the loss of it being replaced by the “bad”. We realize that within the realm of Time, nothing lasts but that everything is also everlasting. We are guaranteed the experience again – good or bad.

It is being “present” but as a Beingness…….it is a presence we take on – an energy we embody and carry with us. This is brought to us by our Higher Selves during the ascension process. The more of our HS we take in, the more we Be-come and the easier it is to remain balanced between the extremes of this dualistic reality/experience. We bring into Time the memory and Being-ness of timelessness.

It is the only way to ascend. There is no other path but right through the middle.

In regards to worldwide ascension, all of the above applies. Everyone will have to, at one point or another, learn the lesson of surrender. Whether they need one or many “traumatic” experiences is up to the individual. Some will be resistant and stay on repeat until either they complete and ascend or they complete in other ways (remain in the 3D loop to try again in another life).

The analogy of the funnel can be used to describe the process. We have been traveling down the funnel for a while now as is part of the evolutionary path of this planet. As we enter the narrowest part of the funnel and transfer through to the other side, the pummeling intensifies. Thus, “traumatic” events intensify in both quantity and quality. This will not only be noticed in individual experiences but also worldwide. The moment of the “event” is when the narrowest portion of the funnel is surpassed and the other side is reached.

Much love to you all on your journey through the funnel. Think of it as a waterslide. Throw your hands up over your head, scream at the top of your lungs, and take the plunge.



More on Impermanence

I came across an article today and wanted to share it with you all. It is called Lessons from a Wildfire.

The article further explores impermanence, something I continue to be drawn to and reminded of as I follow my life path.

Impermanence goes very well with another Buddhist teaching – the 8 Worldly Winds. Ever since I my guidance advised me to “follow the 8 winds” I have been repeatedly taken back to the 8 Worldly Winds. If you are not familiar with the 8 winds in Buddhism, here is a short description.

Rather than go into a personal story about the above teachings in my own life experience, I will leave these articles for you to peruse and apply to your own life as needed and/or desired.

Much love to you all. ❤