2017: Newborn Butterfly Stage

Today has been a beautiful day. I spent most of it at my Mom’s house in the country. I took a long walk with my daughter down a dirt path into the woods. While we walked, she stopped and exclaimed, “Mom! Look! A butterfly!” I looked at it and was instantly sad because it appeared to have a broken wing. I told her to leave it alone because the last one I found like that died and I hated seeing such a beautiful creature die. She refused to leave it, though, saying, “I want to take it and show Nana!” As she picked it up, it attempted to fly out of her hand but fell to the ground. I thought, “Great sign for the new year….”

She kept the little butterfly in her hand through the rest of the walk mentioning how it kept fluttering in her hands. I didn’t think much about it, trying to avoid thinking of it as a bad sign.

When we got to my Mom’s house she immediately showed them. She wanted me to take a picture, so I got up real close to take a shot. When I got close, though, I realized the butterfly was not wounded at all. In fact, it was newly born! It’s bottom wings were still wrinkled. No wonder it couldn’t fly!

This is the picture I took. If you look at the bottom wings, you will see they are still wrinkled. This butterfly was not very old. My daughter thought it was a Monarch but it’s top wings were speckled and almost completely orange so I knew it wasn’t. Turns out it’s a Monarch look-a-like called a Queen Butterfly.


Newborn Queen butterfly

After taking the picture I told my daughter to put the butterfly outside in a safe place so it’s wings could finish drying. She didn’t want to and kept letting it crawl around on her. It was very active. Finally, she did take it outside and put it near a small bush. Thankfully it was in the 70’s today. Here’s hoping it was able to finally take flight.


2017 is a 1 year numerologically speaking. We end 2016, a 9 year, completing a cycle and now a new cycle begins. The butterfly sign today confirms this. I am blown away by the perfection of this sign for 2017. Not only has my guidance given me ample messages regarding the transformative stage I we have been in all of 2016, but they have also hinted that soon it will be time to test our wings and only when we have risen up in flight will we see with new eyes.

For many of us, we will feel unsteady this year as we get our bearings in our new Light bodies. There may be confusion, indecision, life upheaval and pitfalls as we test our newly formed wings and try to fly. Imagine what that newborn butterfly must have been feeling when it found itself on the middle of the road and couldn’t fly away to safety. I think many of us will feel like that butterfly – inexperienced, exposed, nervous, maybe even a bit frightened.

For most of 2017 we will be getting our bearings; learning to use our new “equipment”. What that means exactly will likely be different for everyone. I already feel unsteady as 2016 comes to an end. There is a nervousness but also a curiosity. I also don’t feel quite like myself and am questioning myself and my intentions. I feel somewhat like my  soul compass has been re-calibrated.

We will not be alone, however. Part of this new birth is finding our new families and migrating toward them. No, this will not all happen in 2017. It takes sometimes up to 2-3 hours for a newborn butterfly’s wings to be ready for flight. Similarly, we will need time to adjust and prepare. So think of 2017 as that preparation period. We will need lots of patience for we will know we are changed but will be held back by circumstance (wings still wet). For those of you like me (impatient to get going!) this feeling of being held back, of having to wait after we’ve waited for so long to get here, will test our limits. Patience – my favorite word – is what I am hearing now. Sigh.



Dreams and OBE: Opting Out

Some interesting dreams for a couple of nights and an OBE that I wish to document.

Dream: Golden Pyramid

I was inside a large garage. I can’t remember what we were doing but the back door of the garage was open and I saw a very large, golden pyramid in the garden outside of it. It glowed and I remember feeling drawn to it.


Pyramids suggest major changes will occur over a short period of time.

Dream: Inside-Out

I owned two cars. One was silver and the other was black. Both were being worked on. I was having my mom pick up the silver car from the shop. I recall placing a $20 bill under the seat. When I described the car to her, I saw the image of it in my mind. The entire car was inside out, like a piece of clothing. I remember telling her it was this way on purpose. I could see the black car sitting idle in the grass.


The two cars are two distinct paths. The silver one is the main focus. It is turned inside out, indicating something similar is taking place regarding this path. The number 20 is about being positive and trusting that things are unfolding as they should.

Dream: Peeling Face

I was looking in the mirror and peeling huge chunks of skin off my face. The chunks of skin were at least an inch deep. As I peeled them off, I looked at them in my hand. Chunks of flesh. I remember feeling embarrassed of what I might look like and trying to hide the peeled portions of my face with my hair. Yet, when I looked in the mirror, expecting to see red and raw patches on my face, I saw only small bits of flaky skin here and there. I looked normal. No damage done.


I believe this represents a questioning of my identity or maybe a rejection of aspects of it.

Dream: Torn Sleeping Bags

I was a child roaming through a field dotted with jagged rocks and shrubs. I stopped at a rock and played with two yellow, toy trucks. I needed to use the bathroom so did so, just standing right by the rock. I remember feeling like a boy but having the body of a girl. It was very realistic in the dream. Realizing this, I searched for something to wipe with. I walked to my right, searching for something that might work. I saw sleeping bags in the treetops. They looked like they had been tossed there by a storm. They were ripped and blowing in the breeze. I picked up a piece of torn fabric from a red sleeping bad.


There seems to be a recognition of being both masculine and feminine in this dream. The urination is purification and cleansing of negative or repressed emotions. Sleeping bags represent warmth and protection. Being they are torn it could symbolize a feeling of exposure.

Dream: Check-Out

I was in a hotel suite with a friend from high school. I remember commenting on how long and beautiful her hair was and feeling very comfortable with her. We were lounging about preparing to leave and taking our time when there was a loud bang on the window. My friend when to investigate noticing they were trying to break in. She closed the window and then they moved to the front door, banging hard. She opened the door a bit and looked outside. There was a family standing there with a key wanting in. After a brief discussion it was determined that we had failed to check-out when we were suppose to, so we rushed to get packed and ready and asked the family to wait. We were too slow and they were in a hurry so we let them in. They began to dress in swimsuits and I got mad saying they were just in a hurry to get on the water slides. My friend decided to get back into bed at this time and I lingered because of her. The family was fine with this, saying we could just share the room, but I couldn’t imagine us all fitting. There weren’t enough beds. There was a sharing of food here, too, specifically avocado, which I ate. I recall discussing the options for check-out then. We had been told to check-out at 11am and we hadn’t. So the next option was 5pm.


The first thing I noticed from this dream is that the friend I was with was no longer my enemy which has been a pattern in my dreams since high school. Another thing was that we were at a water park, which has also been a repeating dream theme, but this time we were leaving. Water parks represent feeling emotionally fulfilled, so I am no longer feeling that way. There is a delay, not wanting to leave, but I am angry about it, suggesting that I am feeling disconnected from the emotions related to the stay. I want to “check-out”. The avocado represents reward in return for effort.

OBE: Opting Out

I became aware of vibrations and could tell my energy body was floating and separating from my physical body I lingered here as my vision turned on and found myself floating over treetops and rolling hills. The sky was filled with low hanging, gray storm clouds but it was not raining. I looked down and saw the silver railings of a paved bridge. I floated over the edge, looking down at the trees below. I was very high up. My guidance said, “You can leave your body now if you want.” I looked up again, considering taking flight, and then looked down. The urge I had was to just jump, allowing myself to fall to my death. This felt preferable to flying. I knew if I chose to fly that I would just return to my body after and I rejected this. My emotion was flat. The scene blinked and I was above rugged, snow topped mountains. I looked down, looked at them and rejected them, too. My guidance sent back  an, “OK” and the vibrations faltered, became jagged and my awareness came back to my body.

When I woke I was in a very low emotional state. I noticed that the OBE reflected my desire to exit this life.


Woke at 4:40am and couldn’t go back to sleep. Sigh. I had returning to work on my mind, too. Probably because I have to go back on Monday. 😦 So I wasn’t in a very good mood. It took me a while to relax and center in my heart but I only fell into the in-between, never sleep.

All day yesterday I was feeling this anticipatory energy. It bothered me because I couldn’t identify the source. The feeling was similar to that first day of school feeling. Nervous anticipation. I had to go shopping while I had this energy, so I did, but it followed met through the store. Despite the strangeness of it, people kept smiling at me, looking directly in my eyes, and talking to me. This is unusual so I noticed. I was with my youngest and focusing on him, smiling, joking around, so maybe that attracted their attention. Or maybe my Light was brighter than usual?

One old woman stopped me to talk to me about her grandson and how he was pretending to read, reading to her “Bras and panties” on a pretend sign he saw on the highway. lol She had a nice, gentle, grandmotherly energy and I could see her return to that memory like she was there when she told me. She even got up really close to me, nearly touching me, to tell me her story. 🙂

When I checked out, the energy began to dissipate. It was about 1pm that I sensed it settle. Then I heard the cashier say, “After your discounts your total came to $111.01.” That stopped me mid-sentence and I looked at the register and laughed. As I paid the bill I told her, “111. I see that number all the time. It follows me.” She said, “Really? That’s odd.” lol Not to me.

When I looked at the receipt later on I noticed that not only was the total showing tons of 1’s but the items purchased equaled 11 and so did the sale and total savings. Ha! 11 overload. Funny enough as I am writing this, I am reminded that as I left the store, receipt in hand, I noted the time was 1:01pm.

After that, the energy stabilized and I felt much better. Perhaps the energy was transitional which is why it felt so first-day-of-school-like. 🙂 Some people, like me, get nervous with transitions, while others, like the old lady, are old pros at them and may even look forward to the change they bring.

The rest of the afternoon was spent with an old friend. Our second visit this week. Our two little ones played while our husbands took the older ones to an outdoor family recreation center. So, we got to chat with less distraction – no distraction once our little ones both took naps. 🙂

My energy soared during the visit. It was so nice. Unfortunately, my energy plummeted by evening.

Time is on Your Side

So back to this morning. When I woke in a sour mood and struggled to return to my heart, this song was in my head, specifically: “Time is on your side, it’s on your side now. Not pushing you down and all around, it’s no cause for concern.” Love Coldplay.




Belief is Limitation

There was a Shift yesterday that came in quietly, but I noticed it. For me, it was subtle at first. I almost didn’t notice except that I became a bit overwhelmed for no real reason. Later, while watching the last two episodes of the OA, I had a visitor in Spirit who approached me from my left. He was a guide, but not mine. His presence was obvious and when his message was given, he left. Afterward, I was overcome with emotion.

Dream: Pending Release

I slept deeply with few dreams. After waking early in the morning, I returned to sleep and entered into a vivid dream.

I was inside a large, cinder block room. It was an old, previously abandoned prison. I was an employee, my main job was to clean up.

I was intrigued by the people who visited there, renting the space. A man who seemed familiar, came in along with some others. They were teaching spiritual classes on various topics. My eyes followed this particular man for a while as I tried to figure out my draw to him. He was a normal looking man but his hair was very long, almost to his waist. He had eyes that drew me in and when he looked at me I felt he was speaking to me, though I heard no words.

I lingered near him, listening to what he was saying to a couple. He was discussing astrology with them and I remember the woman saying she was an Aquarius. The couple had never had children and she used astrology as her reasoning for this, citing that she just never felt a need to have them. My interest got the better of me and I interjected, saying to the group, “I have an Aquarius rising and I have three children.”

After this, the man and I locked eyes and I felt nervous, looking down and walking away and back to my cleaning duties. He went on with his teaching and I stayed nearby, observing the other teachers and their classes. I recall seeing a man I knew back in 2003-2004, a business owner who allowed me to do readings in his store. I knew him as Big Mike. When I saw him, I smiled and he recognized me. I went up to him and hugged him, feeling the familiarity of his embrace. He was wearing what I recall him wearing when I knew him, long, flowing, colorful moo-moo-like clothing that hid his obesity.

There was a scene here where I was looking at a piece of paper on which I had written a question. A man came up to it and wrote in big letters, “GOD” and said, “That is better.” I looked at my question and read it back to myself. I can’t remember now what I had written but the answer to it was, “Ask God.”

There was an entire music-related scene here. I heard the music and recognized it. The people listening to it were familiar. I swear one was my cousin. I heard the name Metallica, but the song I heard sounded more like Gun n’ Roses or ACDC to me. I remember hearing a particular part of the song – no,no,no…. and on and on. I told my cousin it was not Metallica. lol

As it got later, I found myself mopping the floor. I was instructed to do it a certain way and saw that the floor turned into this brown, shag carpet. I picked up my mop and all the fibers of it were gone leaving only a nub. I got another mop that was old and grungy and began to mop and disturbed a group of red ants that were eating dead cockroaches. There was an interruption here where two women came in and searched every third locker for a bomb. I remember trying to help.

Then I was talking to a woman I once knew in 2003-2004. She told me she and her husband had adopted a baby boy. I looked down and saw a baby curled up inside my mop bucket. I pointed to him and she smiled. For some reason I was painting  picture of a tree with bare branches. I used pink paint from another bucket but as I painted, it was mucking up and too thick so I had to remove it. It came off in layers, some thick with fibers.

As I prepared to leave, I noted the time. 12:15am. Another employee left and said goodbye. I remember knowing I would stay until 12:30 and looking forward to my drive home.



When I awoke I did a lot of shifting in and out of the in-between. There were messages that came quickly. Often I would repeat these messages over and over again until I would come to full awareness.

The first one I received was the God message from the dream. It came into my mind vividly and I noted it, recognizing that the message was to seek guidance from Source/God. I knew how to do this. Focus on my heart. So I did. With this I felt a welling up of pressure in my chakras, especially the lower three, and fell immediately into the in-between.

There was one message I saw and/or repeated at least 7 times. I even wrote it down thinking I was awake. Finally, somehow I managed to pull myself out of the in-between. There was strong energy in all my lower chakras. My root chakra felt to be expanded to my knees and my solar plexus was pushing upward toward my heart. I got out of bed, got a piece of paper and a pen, and wrote down the messages.

Everything we are is right outside our belief. 

When you have belief, you have limitation.

I slipped briefly into the in-between where I found myself standing in front of a pile of what looked like strips of pink meat. I was gathering it up and sliding it toward the edge of the table where I gathered it into my arms. I repeated several times, “I can say goodbye. I can say goodbye. I CAN say goodbye.”

This woke me up because I felt from my guidance a questioning, like, “Can you?”

Then I saw very clearly written in my mind:

When_________happens, I will __________.

As soon as I recognized it I heard:

Conditional thinking.

Every time I fell into the in-between messages would come through and I would be prompted to write them down. So that’s what I did.

If you feel it, DO IT.

What do you want to do?

Go to the mountains.

Then DO IT. 

With this last message and conversation I finally was too awake. I stayed in bed, feeling the strange energy swirling through my entire body. Chakras seeming to push on each other. I kept imaging myself getting into my car and driving to the mountains. With this I had thoughts, wondering what I would do when I got there, wondering about my job. There was an entire conversation about my job, too. I was being asked if I wanted to go back. I do not. Then I was hearing that if I didn’t want to go back, why go back? I remember saying I needed the money and then being asked about my beliefs about money. The conversation got too much for me. I kept remembering the first message: “Everything we are is right outside our belief.” It was too hard for me to take it all in. Overwhelming even.

My guidance reminded me over and over, “It’s simple. If you feel it, do it.”

Right now my head feels weird. Energy is pooling around the back of it and stretching around the sides of my nose. It is a familiar feeling, one I haven’t had in a long time. It is like something is pushing down from above, via my crown.It makes me feel unfocused and I am fighting the drift into the in-between even as I sit here typing.

The time of 12:30 continues to come to mind. I am wondering if it is not a time, but a date?



Remembering George Michael

Growing up in the 80’s, I loved Wham!, but especially George Michael. I had posters of him on my bedroom wall (yeah) and he was really my only popstar crush, besides Richard Marx that is. lol When the news came out that he was homosexual (actually bisexual) I was really bummed.

I never really got into music like other kids my age or like my sister, who was crazy into music and still is. I credit my sister for introducing me to any and all music I listened to up until I entered high school. Music like Madonna, Heart, T’Pau, Chicago, Michael Jackson,  The Bangles, Duran Duran, Foreigner, REO Speedwagon, Tears for Fears, Pet Shop Boys, Genesis,  U2, etc. You get the idea. My sister had the records (later cassettes) and I just listened because she played music all.the.time and use to do pretend music videos with my cousin. LOL Later, I developed my own preferences in music, shifting to the alternative rock and grunge genre but there will always be a special place in my heart for the music of the 80’s.

Last week, in the days leading up to Christmas, I kept hearing George Michael songs playing. At one point I took notice because it was so rampant, like every radio station was playing his music. The song I remember playing the most was Faith, but there was also an old Wham! song playing, I think it was Careless Whisper.

I forgot all about the repeating songs until I found out about his death. Then all the memories kinda clicked and I thought, “Maybe I was getting a heads up? Hmmm.”

This morning I woke up with one of his songs in my head for some reason:  Don’t Let the Sun Go Down on Me, with Elton John. It seemed like another reminder. I wondered about it. Perhaps I needed to reflect on that time period in my life again? Considering I have been dreaming about giving away a younger version of myself (inner child perhaps) maybe this is a sign that I am letting go of the past, or a part of myself that is not longer useful. Deep, inner healing and clearing necessary for moving forward?

Mostly I liked George Michael’s music in the mid-80’s when he was still a part of Wham! When I hear those old songs I tend to be transported back to that time in my life. It’s instant and so are the feelings that accompany it. There is an opening of awareness of Self, like the very first lighting of an inner fire, that took place when I was about 10 years old and continued through high school. Every song from that time period seems imprinted in my memory with events, like a photo album in my mind, but the music and voice of George Michael will always have a special place in my heart/life/memory.

Here are just some of my most favorite George Michael songs. Enjoy!

Here is a link to the most popular hits of his career if you want to hear more.


Dreams: Separated and Goodbye

I’m not sure what was going on last night but I had so many vivid, in-depth dreams! There are so many this post could become very long. I will focus primarily on the ones that remain in my mind now, several hours after waking.

Dream: Separated

I’m a little girl, blonde, blue-eyed – much like this lifetime. I am with my twin brother but we are not identical. He is the opposite of me in looks – dark hair and eyes. He is also older than me and this confuses me in the dream. How can we be twins if we are not the same age??

He is talking to me about our separation. He misses me and is even crying. He says we stayed together until I was 3 and then I went to live with my mother. Up until that point we spoke the same language. In the dream that language was Spanish. He said I forgot the language when we were apart.

There is much upset on both our parts but mainly his. I am surprised and a bit confused in the dream. I know him as my brother but can’t remember ever speaking Spanish. My waking consciousness keeps interfering, wanting to become lucid, so the whole idea of having a twin confuses me. I am reminded of all the times in my dreams when I speak Spanish and the actual physical life experiences and encounters I’ve had. He talks very fast and excitedly as if wanting to catch up on all the lost time.


This dream actually seems to be about my other half and recovering memories. I have a theory that I have been mulling over in regards to this. I’ve had dreams of a dark haired boy quite frequently, even in my childhood. After a recent OBE in which I saw this same boy I wondered if perhaps when I go OOB I am traveling to a different period on this timeline to act as a guide to him. That maybe we have been doing this for each other all of this life? When I was very small, around 2-3 years old, I played with an imaginary friend (so my mom and sister tell me). They told me the friend was male. I don’t remember so I don’t know. However, one of the first things my Companion asked me when I saw him in an OBE was, “Do you not remember me?” I have often wondered if perhaps he was my imaginary friend and maybe we had been spending lots of time together in dreamtime, the in-between and astral. It’s very likely.

Dream: Goodbye

I am traveling very fast in a car at night with my husband. He is sometimes at the wheel and other times not. We are lost and I am panicking because he keeps falling asleep and I have to take the wheel. One time when this happens I lose control of the car and we end up in the ditch.

We get out and I look around. It is unfamiliar and I don’t know which way to go. My husband leaves, handing me a very large pistol the size of a small rifle. The gun is in three pieces, though, and I have to put it back together to make it functional. It did have bullets and looked like an over-sized, black revolver when I finished putting it together.

My husband seems to vanish in the dream at this point and I am deciding which direction to take. Do I go straight and take the dirt path? Or do I go to my left which is a winding sidewalk with signs indicating it leads to a community?  I begin to walk down the dirt path, holding the gun in front of me but the trees seem to get denser and denser and it gets really dark. It feels scary to me and I stop. I know I need to get to civilization so I turn back toward the sidewalk path.

Suddenly there is a large group of women coming to greet me. They seem helpful and wise and I am not afraid of them. They encourage me to come with them but I am hesitant. I finally decide to go with them but stop and put a pink coat on a small, blonde child. For some reason, then, it seems I am sending the child to go with them and I am staying. I adjust the sleeves on the jacket and say goodbye to the child. As I do this I am overwhelmed with emotion and begin to sob. There is such grief that it wakes me up, tears still streaming down my face.


Car – Life path. Since I’m in the car with my husband, it is our joint path.
Accident – Guilt or something I am not proud of.
Gun – Aggression or potential anger; masculine considerations; caution should be taken.
Paths- Options available to me and my reaction to those options.
Pink – Healing through love.
Child – Aspect of myself. Perhaps I am sending away my inner child for healing? The emotion here felt like I was losing someone I loved dearly but there was also fear, like a loss involved.

keysDream: Goodbye (again)

I am at a house that is not familiar. Fumbling in the cabinet for tea bags, I find the last two and then see a heart-shaped key ring. I take the key-ring and the tea bags. I decide to use the key ring in place of the old one I have. I locate my keys. There are more than I have in real life and they are heavy and disorganized. I replace the main key ring with the heart-shaped one and place it on my luggage. I talk with a woman about her luggage at this point and tell her I couldn’t put my keys on mine because it would have to go on the bottom. I see her carry-on bag. It is black.

As I start to leave the house, I prepare laundry. I pull down the laundry soap. It is travel-sized, but I never do the laundry. Instead, I sit on top of the dryer as I talk to the woman. Then a door seems to appear behind the dryer and I am heading out. The woman stops me. I see a small, blonde child. He (I assume he is my son in real life) comes up to me and says, “Do you still love me?” I stopped, my heart overflowing and say, “Of course I still love you! I will always love you!” I kiss him on the top of his white-blonde hair and leave him with the other woman. It feels like I am giving him away.


Tea bag – need for calm in life.
Key ring – adaptability.
Keys – adaptability, accessing information, personal power.
Luggage – desires, worries, responsibilities, or needs that are weighing you down.
Laundry – Preparing to rid self of past hurts; cleansing.
Soap – Need to wash away past worries and emotions; guilt or shame.
Child – Likely represents an aspect of myself. In this case I am leaving a part of myself behind but this part is safe and loved.

Dream: Piggy Swear

I only recall the last part of this dream and only because it was so weird! In it, I am hooking my pinky finger with four other pinkies. It creates a circle of hands all linked by pinky fingers. I remember someone saying, “Piggy swear” instead of “Pinky swear”. I have no idea what it means because it doesn’t make any sense and is almost funny. That is what wakes me up.


Pinky finger – Mental power, intellect, memory and communication.
Circle – Connection, completion, wholeness.


Dream: Kundalini Rehab

Merry Christmas! Hope you all enjoyed time with family and friends. I experienced yet again a disconnected from this holiday. All the materialism is getting to me more and more each year that passes. I wanted to go on a family vacation and just skip the entire holiday but that wasn’t to be. So, I participated and focused on watching my children delight in their many gifts. This morning I am tolerating the chaos and disorganization of my household as my kids enjoy playing with their new gifts.

I also got to hang out with my brother who was home on leave from Tallahassee, Florida. He’s been attending technical training through the U.S. Air Force to be a crew chief (mechanic). He works on fighter jets. Pretty awesome, huh? I haven’t seen him since he left for boot camp. When I saw him I was impressed. Not only does he appear more mature (physically and emotionally) but he was very obviously happy. Instead of seeing him as baby brother I saw him as a man. I’m proud of him! He leaves for Phoenix, AZ this week, which is where he will be stationed from now on.

My brother is so cool. He is a natural healer (Reiki 1 attuned), is fascinated by astrology and all things spiritual and has even succeeded in having lucid dreams and OBEs. He has been this way since he was a child and we have always had a special connection.

Anyway, Christmas was good despite my disconnection from the holiday. I have been feeling odd, though. My heart has been flaring up and I have been unable to fall asleep the last couple of days. Then, when I wake I feel strange and somewhat alienated from the world and everyone in it. Yesterday I started crying a few times throughout the day. It was from feeling Homesick.

Dream: Kundalini Rehab

I fell asleep sometime after midnight and it seemed I was dreaming the same dream all night. In the dream I was in L.A. with a group inside a nice hotel room. I knew the members of this group. We all seemed young despite having the wisdom that only experience over many lifetimes brings. I was with a woman and a man I seemed to have a deep soul connection to. In the dream our connection manifested as a romantic involvement but not sexual. The woman was especially familiar and she and I interacted quite a bit. There was also one man who seemed older than the rest of us. He had silver in his hair and he appeared to be the facilitator of our group.

All of us in the group were there because we were addicts. It seemed like we were in a rehab program of some sort. Yet the addiction we had was not to any drug, though it was referred to as a “drug” in the dream. I knew the drug was Kundalini. We were there to learn to cope with the powerful effects of this drug. I remember wanting to leave and asking when I could go. I didn’t want to experience Kundalini anymore and was frustrated by its effects on me and the inability to control them.

There was a part of the dream which was odd. We were all naked and I was spooning with a man but there was no sexual connection there. When it was time to go, I got up and put on my underwear, hiding my nakedness from everyone despite everyone being naked and us all seeming comfortable being around each other that way. I remember asking someone if I should put on fresh underwear and then choosing my old pair anyway. There was a feeling that we had to leave soon and we were all going to stay in touch, some of us were going to leave together. I was to go with the man and woman who I knew. I thought I was to leave at 1:30 to catch a flight home.

The main discussion I recall having then was about the purchase of a plane ticket. I remember saying I had bought a one-way ticket home yet when someone called to confirm my flight, which was to leave at 1:30pm, she was told the flight didn’t exist. I was surprised and asked her to check again using the flight number. No such flight existed but there was a flight that left at 6:00pm. A round-trip ticket. I didn’t want a round-trip ticket and told them I could just drive my car back when I wanted to return. For some reason this was not to be and the round-trip ticket was the one I would take. I was going to have to return.


I woke up at 5:30am still tired and not wanting to wake up. I was not happy about the dream because it left me feeling like I was nowhere near an end to what has been going on in my life. I just want the Kundalini to complete it’s circuit and move on and leave me alone. I blame it for the upheaval in my life. My guidance reminded me to remain in a holding pattern for now, to continue to follow the guidelines they had given me. These guidelines are to meditate, do yoga, eat for my dosha, avoid strenuous exercise and continue to focus on 3D for the time being.

The time period of six months came to mind. This would mean sometime around June/July next year. Interestingly, I have had a couple of OBEs where there is reference to July 4th as my birthday. I had another one recently that I didn’t post. In it I was protesting my birthday, telling everyone they were celebrating too early and July 4th was NOT my birthday. lol This is also the time frame I was given for when I would attain “wholeness”.

Los Angeles

One thing I was thinking of when I woke was that I was in Los Angeles again. I’ve been to L.A. in OBEs and dreams for about a year now. I have very few connections to L.A. I have no desire to live there (had a dream about relocating there) and no desire to even visit the city. In fact, I’ve only been to that city maybe four or five times in my entire life and was not really impressed. lol Yet again I dreamed of L.A. and it was made very obvious to me that I was in the city. In an OBE I was even given a tour of the city and remember wondering what I was doing there to the point of irritation. lol

So this morning I finally asked. What is up with the L.A. theme? The thought came to me to consider what L.A. means: Los Angeles. City of Angels. Okay, so what, right? lol Angels = spirituality, heaven, ascension, enlightenment, etc. It is a destination.

So I looked up the dream symbolism. Los Angeles relates to one’s spiritual quest. It signifies opportunities and the creation of your own success.

So I guess I have another six months at least of this spiritual quest. Makes sense I guess. Why, then, am I not excited about any of it?

Edit: After reading a post by Molly (thank you!) where she mentioned suicide it brought back a part of my dream I had forgotten. One of the members of my group had committed suicide. Whether this is significant or not, who knows, but the memory came with a very serious feeling.

OBE: Over the Fence

I had a busy night and morning. Seems I’ve passed a milestone, or something like that.

Toward evening I began watching a Netflix series everyone has been talking about. It’s called The OA. It’s just down my ally – NDE’s, astral travel, empathic connections, psychic premonitions, etc. I only watched two episodes and in both I ended up crying. Not because of something in the show but because my guidance began to come through in their silent but unmistakable way. I recovered quickly from the feeling despite it being once again that, “Get ready for change” message I’ve been receiving for some time.

During my nightly meditation I felt the familiar warm energy in my heart. I have missed it so much! My third-eye and root chakras joined in along with the solar plexus. The energy stayed with me for quite some time, following me into sleep.

Kundalini Dream

This will be a shortened version of the experience because it is quite personal in nature.

I was in a car lot discussing the purchase of a new car. I was trading in my old one, a black sedan of some sort. The one I chose was a silver Volkswagen, maybe a Jetta but I’m not sure. I was really pleased and showing a friend of mine. He was distracted, though, and seemed somewhat concerned about something else. I remember saying I had gotten $50k for my trade-in (I wish!! lol).

He stayed with me and we chatted for some time. Eventually the discussion went to a new cell phone I had just gotten. I was playing with it, exploring the apps on it and trying to figure out why the font was so large and funky. I remember the phone had a message something like, “Will you be accepting T-Mobile…” I can’t remember now what it was asking fully, but it had to do with communication. I was talking excitedly about my phone, showing him how it worked and smiling.

Then I was singing a song to him. I don’t remember the melody now, but it was sweet. I said, “All you have to do is let your cards fall where they may…” The memory of the words is also a picture of someone dropping a deck of cards and them slowly falling on the floor. I recall seeing this woman singing but she was also me as the words were coming out of my mouth. It was like she was talking to both of us. I turned and saw my friend had lightened up and was relaxing.

The next thing I remember is lying face up and seeing his face close up to mine. We were nose to nose and he was smiling at me. It felt tender and loving and I was not afraid. He kissed me and I kissed him back. A shock went straight through my heart and then I was filled with a love so powerful that I lost my breath and thought for sure I would pass out. He pulled back and smiled at me. I saw the glimmer of humor in his eyes. He knew exactly how he was affecting me. I didn’t withdraw but just stared back at him, smiling. Then he kissed me again with the same affect. I lingered there, feeling his lips and his energy mingling with mine. It was beautiful.

The heart energy became so intense at this point that it activated my root and third-eye chakras. A full blast of Kundalini began to make its way up toward my heart. The power of it woke me. The energy continued for some time after I woke. I cried slow, happy tears.

In-Between: Conversations with a Friend

It took me a long while to fall back to sleep after that. It wasn’t until around 5:30am that I slipped into the in-between. While there I was talking to someone about a job. I was setting up an appointment for an interview. I was told to call and set the date. There was no phone in my hand yet I remember hearing the phone ringing. At this point I heard my friend David talking as if on the line, like a three-way call. He was excited, telling me how his plane had landed and minutes after it landed an inversion cloud formed right over it. I could see this oval-shaped, white cloud in my mind. It reminded me of a space craft. I remember realizing he was on the line with me when a voice mail picked up. In front of me I saw a computer screen and there was a black box in the upper right hand corner. From it came instructions to leave a message. I never did because I recognized David’s voice and said to him, “How did you get on the line?” I was laughing, though, because he repeated the story about the inversion cloud and was super excited about it.

Realizing my friend was there and I could talk with him, I began to tell him about an in-between experience I had just had (it really happened). I was walking down a hallway and just as I crossed by the opening to the living area I saw a huge group of people all wearing blue jerseys. They cheered as I walked by and I stopped and looked at them. They looked like a football team. I heard then, “Team” very loudly in my head. It made me laugh because I knew this was my team of guides making a joke. Funny guys!

OBE: Over the Fence

David listened as I excitedly told him my story. Then I became distracted. I saw a young girl climbing a wood privacy fence. There was an urge to climb it, too, and I yelled to her, “Hey! I want to climb it with you!” I ran over to her (and OOB) and jumped up and over the fence. She immediately disappeared. I knew I was OOB. I flew to another part of the fence intent on balancing on top. I remembered I had no feet and only needed to float to accomplish this. I skimmed along the top and the dropped down to the grass below.

Then I soared up into the air and took a good look at the place. I was in a suburban neighborhood somewhere. The grass was very green and in the distance I could see the lights of a fairly large city. There were some small hills but overall the terrain was flat and looked like a park. I decided to settle back down to the ground and said aloud, “I want more clarity. I want this to be real.” The scene instantly brightened and became more real just like I requested.

I walked along for a while, talking to myself. It was like I was praying aloud or saying affirmations. I said, “I want peace. I can do this. I will be happy….” I walked next to a large fountain with a fish pond of dark water. I decided to dip my hands into the water. There was some trepidation here because I didn’t know what was under the water’s surface. Yet I pushed myself to dip my hand all the way down and grab whatever was underneath. The water was cold. I felt something and pulled my hand out quickly. It was just old leaves but for some reason it freaked me out because they clung to my hand. I imagined creepy bugs and dead things for a split second and then cleared my mind. I repeated my affirmations. “I can do this. I want peace.” My vision blacked out as I continued to repeat, “I want peace.” My awareness returned to my body.


When I woke my heart and third-eye were still active and I felt relaxed, calm, almost peaceful. This is very welcomed considering how I’ve been feeling lately. I recognize the OBE symbolism right away. I flew over a fence. Fences in a dream represent obstacles and feeling “fenced in”. Then I pushed myself to dip my hands into dark water, not knowing what I would find. I did this despite fear bubbling to the surface of my thoughts. What I feared was there was nothing at all like reality, though. My affirmations confirmed my willingness to move past my fears and seek what I want from this life. I can do this.

Kundalini Dream and Reconstitution

Woke at 5am again and could not remember one dream. I requested to go OOB and heard, “No.” I understood straight away that my energy body wasn’t adequately charged or aligned for an OBE this morning. Disappointed, I asked, “Then can I just get something? Anything? Maybe more Kundalini??” lol I didn’t get a response which to me is the same as, “Maybe” or “Okay.”

Dream: Renting Rooms

I was in a small, older house, with a group of people. There was much activity. I sat in a chair next to a sofa in the living area with several others. The sofa was gold, like from the 1960-70’s. It was very worn in certain places and had a multi-colored crocheted throw draped over the back.

I chatted with someone about a job. The job was similar to a physical trainer but with EMT-type experience. There was a young girl in need of one of these trainers for when she exercised because she had a disability and might pass out mid-exercise. Her disability involved inability to breathe and seizures. What is odd was that it felt like I may need this kind of help – like the girl of the discussion was really me.

I changed the topic to going fishing. I suggested three places. In my mind I could see them. One was a lake, another a pond and another a circular section of a river. I remember saying, “I haven’t gone fishing in a long time. I would really love to go.” It was agreed that we would go but then I couldn’t find my glasses. I searched, finding various other pairs that were not mine. Right when I figured I would give up my search, I decided to look in a drawer. I found them tucked away inside. I remember saying that they were “well worn” and “old”.

I never left the house. The next thing I recall was that rooms were being rented out for the day for various purposes. I watched as two women got keys to a room from an older, dark haired lady. They went inside and locked the door. It was obvious they were lovers and I remember smirking and then wondering if maybe all the rooms were being rented to couples.

I knew I was an employee there, like a caretaker and part of the “crew”. I gathered up dirty, blue bedding and washed it. After seeing the couple go into the room I was a bit grossed out handling the bedding. lol As I was working I saw a very tiny, blonde woman with her small child hiding in the corner. I went over to investigate and she spoke to me in another language. She seemed to be crouching in the corner near the washing machine and I wondered if she was frightened. I also worried about her child. I asked her if she was okay and she ran away, looking behind her frantically. I told her I was worried about her, wouldn’t hurt her and just wanted to make sure she was safe. She kept speaking in another language so I have no idea what she said. She was very small, though, like midget size. She reminded me of a nymph or fairy.

115445-butternutKundalini Dream

Finished there, I went into the kitchen where a man was standing near the sink. I knew him and spoke to him like we were old friends. He was preparing food and I stopped to help him, squeezing in next to him as he stood over the sink. I held a chunk of butternut squash in my hand. The orange color is very vivid and memorable. I was working at getting to the center of the piece in my hand when he gently grabbed my hand and said, “No, eat the whole thing.” I had been about the drop the rind but stopped and put the squash on it and said, “Like this?” I held it up and then put the squash in his mouth for him to taste.

For some reason I reached up and kissed him squarely on the mouth. In the midst of kissing him I was confused by my actions. I was thinking he was not my type at all. He was a very large, burly man with facial hair and I recall that he had an accent – Australian.

He picked me up as we kissed. It surprised me. It was like I weighed nothing. I wrapped my legs around his midsection and we just kept making out. lol It was around this time, though, that my lucidity began to peak and the energetic sensations became noticeable.

My entire chakra system was activated but not sequentially. Instead it was like my chakras were blinking. Some blinked simultaneously. I felt like an energetic polka dot. I could feel all of them but some of them seemed to be in the wrong place, like to the left or right of where they should be or too close to one another. Or maybe I had additional chakras because it sure seemed like there were energy centers all over the place.

I remember talking to the man between kisses but I don’t know what we said now. All I recall now is thinking, “I shouldn’t be doing this.” He whispered to me several times, “You’re so good.” The last time he said it I woke up.


My entire torso was aching when I woke up, especially my lower back and solar plexus region. The energetic sensations lingered for some time but instead of jumping all over the place it was mainly my mid-section that was buzzing. My neck was stiff like I had slept wrong, but since I was laying on my back I highly doubt that was the reason.

I could feel my guide and asked him, “Why did you look like that? Why were you so large?” He laughed and said, “Was I?” His response caused me to consider that perhaps I saw him that way for a reason. I recalled other K experiences and realized that his largeness represented indulgence and prosperity. The butternut squash was also symbolic. Symbolic of the second chakra.

I wondered about why he said, “You’re so good.” I asked him what he meant. Good at what? Kissing? lol But then I understood. He was responding to my statement. I’m trying to be a “good girl”.

Then I wondered about the strange energy. What is going on? He said, “Reconstitution.” All of my chakras are being reconstituted in preparation for the Kundalini. I remembered how I was warned about the last part of December. I was asked to prepare myself for the K energy, to eat properly, meditate, do yoga, etc. My guide tried to explain what reconstitution meant. He asked me, “What happens when you renovate a kitchen?” I said, “You completely gut it and then replace everything with something new and rearrange the space.” He said, “Yes. That is what is happening to you. You are changing.”

I fell into the in-between somehow and caught myself saying, “But she’s not human.” As I said this, I could see “her”. She was not human. Entirely of another species, likely an E.T. but my memory of what I saw is blurry. Her coloring was blue and there was a pulsating, multi-colored light within that resembled her blood maybe, or something else. I saw these tentacles coming off her and retracted from what I saw. I said it again, “She’s not human.” This is what brought me back to full awareness. What was that?

I thought perhaps I was seeing myself in another form. When I tried to remember her face all I recall seeing was slits, like for breathing maybe? The coloring of the skin was odd and really creeped me out. It was like she was an amphibian. Weird! I wondered if this was what Arcturians looked like? Or was this some other species?

I pushed it out of my mind and tried to return to the in-between. I didn’t but I heard that a reunion was taking place at other levels, in other dimensions. What I experience here is merely a reflection.



Dream: Kundalini Formula

I woke at 5am with my mind full of concerns. I had asked for clarity about several issues prior to sleep but when I awoke I had none. So I requested clarity again. Why is it that my root chakra has been missing in my astral experiences? Why am I having so many physical issues related to my lower two chakras? Where is the Kundalini?

Dream: Lemonade

I was a partaking in a study. Each individual was to take one spherical shaped, yellow pill the size of a marble. Throughout the dream they were referred to as “lemonade“. There were instructions given, but I can’t remember them now. I do recall taking one of the pills and it tasting like lemonade, though. The main part I recall is someone holding a long, dark colored, circular cord about two inches wide that didn’t seem connected to anyone or anything. It had been punctured at one point and fluid was pouring out. I was alarmed, asking what could be done about it. The man in charge said that I would need to take five of the pills all at once. I was concerned. What would it do to me? I watched as he showed me. I saw the five pills all enter the energetic system. They appeared as yellow tendrils of energy and went directly to the brain and split into five distinct sections. I could see thoughts coming off, like branches of a tree. I don’t remember now what the thoughts said despite them being written in thin air. However, they appeared to be re-wiring the brain somehow.


I awoke in the midst of very chaotic, jagged vibrations. It felt as if my energy body was being jolted back and forth very rapidly. Additionally, there was a huge bubble of energy expanding from my root chakra. I couldn’t distinguish the root chakra in the energy, though. It felt more like an expansion of indistinct energy. Along with this my heart, third-eye and crown were active, though not as intensely. They felt dull in comparison. I also had pain in my lower back and pelvic region. It was uncomfortable. Just as I began to worry something was very wrong with me, the pain reduced substantially.

Dream: Kundalini Formula

Somehow I returned to sleep. I ended up in a parking lot outside a large mall that had been turned into a school. I searched for a parking place. There were many empty spaces but I wanted one in the shade. I saw several shaded spots but no trees to provide shade. Weird.

I was pushing my car rather than driving it. It’s engine was off and I was slowly putting it in various spots. My car was white, too, and not one I recognized.

I bypassed a spot because it had a baby stroller in it. I finally chose a space close to the front but I had chosen a lot nowhere near the main entrance. Concerned, I began to worry how I would find my way in. A woman and a man were outside with me. I knew them as fellow teachers. The man went inside using his key and the woman stayed with me. I went toward the entrance and found it, going inside. The woman followed me.

I had a red folder with me that I opened to review the contents. I had scribbled information down – dreams, thoughts, etc. Most of it mathematical equations. The page full of equations was titled, “Kundalini”. The woman saw it and asked to see it. I handed it to her, embarrassed that she would see my mathematical incompetence and judge me for my interest in Kundalini. She began to make corrections to the equations. I saw lines of fractions with letters mainly. The top row looked something like 1/a + 1/1 + a/1 + a/a = 1a/1a. She replaced the 1’s in the answer with 8’s. She did corrections on all of the lines, there were at least 7. Each line of fractions had different variables. They followed the page down in sequence: A, B, C, D….  In my discomfort and embarrassment I made excuses for my errors saying, “I’m a social studies teacher.” lol

The woman was impressed, holding the page of equations up and reviewing all of my notes. She asked me, “Can I make a video of this? This is excellent material!” I agreed. Before long there was a holographic screen up in front of me showing the video she created using my equations. I saw an outline image of a person. Then a rush of white light came in through the crown and flushed out the entire chakra system from top to bottom. What was left behind was a white, iridescent, swirling energy in the center where the spine should be. The white light expanded to fill up the energy body almost entirely.

The video shocked me for some reason and I was frozen there not knowing what to think. The woman was ecstatic and asked me if she could distribute the video in her name via the school. I agreed. She asked me to follow her up stairs. I did.

The rest of the dream was of me following her up 7 flights of stairs. Each one I climbed was different. Some longer than others. The sixth flight was the longest and steepest. I thought I would fall down but made it to the top. She was waiting for me at the top of the 7th. The 7th was very short, probably only five steps, but the only way to get to it was to jump because it was not linked to the other stairs by a landing. Instead, it seemed to come out of the wall a good distance above me. She gave me directions on how to jump up to it. I did. What is odd here is that there was a babydoll that spoke to me at this point. I have no idea what it said now but the woman activated it.


When I awoke I spoke with my guide who appeared both as a woman and a man. It was odd and when I asked about it I was told, “I am YOU.” Then I was asked,”Are you only a woman?” I understood and said, “No, I am both.” I was told then, “As am I. I am you.”

The Kundalini dream was curious to me. Wasn’t the K energy suppose to go from bottom to top? Why was it shown to be doing the opposite? There was a in-flow of knowingness at this time. There lower two chakras are the current problem. There is a rejection of them and as such there are physical side-effects. I was encouraged to reflect upon the areas of life these chakras relate to. The answer would be seen therein.

I have had a headache ever since waking up.