Proof that a Life Issue is Resolving

Yesterday I felt a bit restless. I kept thinking that I needed to do something. Do something about the debt I let my husband incur last year. Do something to feel more fulfilled and purposeful. Just do Something! It was a nagging feeling. I even looked for jobs online and discovered an opening for a part-time school counselor position just a 9 minute commute from our house. I thought about it but hesitated. So I opted to update my resume and CV and then decide if I would apply. Even after doing that something wasn’t right about it. I remembered that Mercury went retrograde that same day. It is not a good idea to get a new job or interview during a Mercury retrograde. So, using that as an excuse, I sat on it. The posting doesn’t close until the 20th anyway.

Then today my husband comes home and tells me he is getting a $25,660 bonus. What!!!?? Whoa! Now that he is on the bonus system that came with his new position as general manager he gets bonuses every quarter. This is his first. He will get three more this year. It is likely they will be big like this one, but maybe not. They fluctuate.

Regardless, now I know why I hesitated about the job. I felt in my heart that I did not want it. It made me uneasy just to consider going back to work even after my most recent good experience. I just don’t want to. You know what is really crazy? His bonus is about what I would make if I were to work part-time again. I would have to spend an entire year dealing with education system bureaucracy to make that amount, too. Now, it is coming as a check next week. Ha!

As I was thinking about this whole sequence of events and its peculiarity, I recalled that last Saturday out of the blue I just decided that I was OK with being in debt and paying ridiculous interest. I saw it was just a condition I placed on myself and my life that stressed me out. Who on this planet doesn’t have some sort of debt anyway? Money is meant to be spent, life is meant to be lived. I don’t want to spend any more time worrying about money and choosing not to live and enjoy my life because something costs too much. I already spent too much of my life doing that and it has NOT made me a happy person. So I announced to my husband that I was done stressing and fighting over money. No more. Done.

Now he gets this bonus? Hmmm. I seriously doubt it’s a coincidence. My husband has been at odds with his boss since her parents (and previous owners) died. She put his younger brother in a top position and refused for two years to put my husband in the position he had been promised by her father. My husband pushed for the position because I pushed him to push for it. He finally got promoted in 2015 (and I promptly left my job) but she refused to let him get the bonuses he was suppose to for over a full year for this reason or that. Suddenly, this year, she is finally giving them to him and it comes right when we need it, after I decide to let go of my considerations about the debt we are in and after I opt out of yet another part-time position I don’t want yet would have chosen to work just for the money.

The way I see it, all of it is tied to me finally being ready to let go of my financial beliefs and considerations. It has been an on-going life struggle for me, one I seemed to bring in with me from another lifetime. As a child of only 7 years old I remember getting money and hoarding it, saving it for who knows what, while my sisters happily spent theirs and ate their candy or got their toy. I would sit and scowl at them thinking I was right, I knew better because some day that money would be needed. LOL

In the past two years I have made phenomenal progress towards resolving my issues with money. When I announced to my husband that I was OK with being in debt, that I no longer cared, I really meant it. You all have seen my progress with this issue via this blog here and there. Lately I forget to pay bills (scandalous!) and end up with high late fees and…I just don’t care. Our savings is the lowest it has ever been and….I just don’t care. Considering I always had at least three months salary (more usually) in savings this is unbelievable for me. In 2014 I use to check our checking account frequently, sometimes daily, and nag my husband about not staying on budget, spending this or that, etc. Now I can’t remember the last time I checked our checking account balance.

There are countless more examples of how I’ve changed in regard to money. I’m a totally different person in that regard now. Really. And no, I am not going to the extreme opposite now and becoming a spendaholic and not caring at all. I still care, I just don’t obsess and stress anymore.

My consideration about money now? If it gets spent, that means more is on the way. There will always be more. My Companion told me (still does) – You will always have enough. My new consideration is also that. I will always have enough. And I always have.

What we resist does really persist. And when we stop resisting it, it really does resolve.


Past Life: Lesson from the 1800’s

Not long ago I asked my guidance to help me remember the karma I have with my current husband. I have been shown past lives of other individuals throughout this life, usually quite spontaneously, but when it come to my husbands not one glimpse has been given. It is like it is “hands off” when it comes to marriage relationships. Why? That is no fair! lol

Even after I divorced my first husband I was not shown past lives or given any information as to why we had agreed to be together. All I knew was that I had agreed to help him and him me. Strangely, I was able to perceive his future quite clearly to the point that he had no doubt I knew what I was talking about. He use to call me and ask me, “What do you see for me…?” lol I told him. And it happened. All of it.

So tell me, how is it that I can see my ex’s future, but not our past? Again, not fair!

So back to my current husband. It is obvious to me that we have a “contract” and I want nothing more than to fulfill my end. I feel that I can do that better if I have more information. How do I resolve my end of the deal? Please help me. This is what I asked my guidance.

Revelations from the 1800’s

This morning, after an OBE involving my husband (not coincidence I’m sure), I woke up and was directed to “listen”. I fell into the in-between and found myself in a very different scene and very obviously from a past life.

I was standing under a veranda. Behind me were green, rolling hills and a bright, cloudless day. The scene was reminiscent of Europe. It felt beautiful but the feeling was anything but – tense is an understatement. I was dressed in a flowing, light pink, corseted gown with ruffles around the hip area. I had a parasol by my side. I don’t recall what I looked like but I do recall who I was with.

To my left was a thin, lanky man with light hair. He was dressed nicely in a blue suit with a tie and leaned against a cane. I don’t know if he needed the cane but the feeling was he did. He had been sickly his whole life and was not very physically strong.

To my right was another man. He was very boisterous and loud. He was much taller than the other man. Muscular and in peak physical condition for his age – probably 20’s. I don’t remember what he looked like, my focus was mostly on the other man.

The boisterous man was my fiance and he was angry. Angry at the other man and telling him to stay away from me and have no further contact or else. He was pretty scary and ruthless. Insulting the other man. I remember him saying, “You have nothing, can give her nothing. You are nothing.” He went as far as to laugh at the other man. Everything my fiance did and said made me think less of him and more of the other man. I had nothing but love for the sickly man. In my eyes he was perfect just the way he was, sickly or not.

Understanding what I was seeing, I came out of the in-between but went back in not long after. This time it was Knowing of the outcome. I had ended my engagement with the angry man because I did not love him. I made this choice knowing what I would leave behind me – wealth, security, status. I chose to be with the sickly man because I loved him and to me it was worth it to be with him. I chose him knowing he did not have long to live. It was far better in my mind to be with someone I loved, even if briefly, than to spend my entire life with the other man (I wanted to say “with a bogart” but didn’t know what that meant. Turns out it is a bully or someone who refuses to share. lol). I also knew I had very little time with the one I loved, perhaps only a year before he died.


Whether this is a past life with my husband or my ex, I don’t know. I have my suspicions, though. If this is a karmic lesson regarding my current husband, what does it mean? Does it mean I made the wrong decision? Or was it how I handled the situation? Or, perhaps, it is his karma and not mine, that is being resolved. If he is the aggressive fiance then perhaps he is here to learn how to let go? Hahaha okay not really funny.

I know with many who I have recalled past life and karmic connections with that I came to help them more than myself. For example, one man I had a relationship with murdered me and our son in a past life because he found out I had been cheating on him. He couldn’t bear the humiliation. In this life he cheated WITH me (lol) and so, in a sense, he walked in my shoes and so was able to see my perspective. What he did with that lesson, I don’t know, but at the time I Knew my role and was able to learn my own lessons from it.

These “contracts” are rarely what we perceive them to be and often times have many layers of lessons contained within them, lessons for both parties.

Whatever this memory means, at least if the woman is me I knew what I wanted and had the courage to go for it despite being aware of the loss involved.

My Asian Form

Interesting experience last night. I suspect it has to do with what my guides asked me a couple of nights ago, “Do you want to see yourself?”

Dream: Asian Woman

I don’t remember most of my dreams last night. However, at one point I became lucid in the midst of a dream. I did not take over control of the dream but instead continued to allow it to continue without interruption which is why I did not classify it as lucid.

I saw a woman. I can’t remember if it was in the mirror or if I was seeing her as myself from the point of the observer. Whatever it was, I recognized her as myself and said aloud, “Oh yeah! I keep forgetting that I look this way.” The woman I saw was in all ways different from how I look now. She was very obviously Asian, petite, and somewhat plain but pretty nonetheless. Her cheekbones were extremely flat and her eyes, though slanted, were wide enough to not seem squinty.

I inspected her face for a long time, especially her eyes. It is times like these I wish I could draw human faces because if I could I would draw hers. I spent a long time Googling images and could not find a face that was similar enough.

While looking at her, I remembered being her, that I was/am her. There was a feeling of memory loss when I looked at her, like the dream stopped and I would shift into her and her lifetime. The shift was very disorienting and felt similar to how I feel when I enter a portal while OOB. The energy would intensify and I would feel to dematerialize. Then I would recognize what was happening and shift back. The shifts resulted in amnesia of my current life and the dreamstate.

The memories of this woman, this version of me, came only as her personality. Meek, modest, subordinate, passive and permissive, she did not question male authority and focused on her function within the family unit. She didn’t resent this role nor question it. Her focus was very much inward and introspective but she was also very loyal and took her feminine role very seriously. She had much wisdom and humility. The feeling from her was that she had made peace with herself, life, and humanity, and had managed to achieve what I have not. I had nothing but respect for her.

There were flashes of memory amidst all of this but they make no sense to me now. It is like they were erased so that only the memory of the disassociation with my present lifetime and the visual of her face remain.

There is no doubt in my mind that this woman was/is me. In fact, the realization that hit me while in the dream was that my preferred appearance while in Spirit was this form. There is recognition now that I choose to appear as her because of what I achieved in that lifetime. I also knew she was of Mongolian heritage.

The most memorable part of her was her eyes. I was fixated upon them, staring deeply into them. I saw they were almost black, they were so dark, and the whites of the eyes had snowflake-like black shapes spreading outward from the iris toward the edge of the eye. Both sides had these snow-flake shapes. They sparkled like they were made of gemstones or crystals. I am not sure what they mean but they were distinct and fascinating to me. When I saw them I felt like this woman – I – was timeless.


I find this experience very interesting, mostly because never would I have thought that while I am out and about in the astral or between lives that I would choose such a form. I assumed always that I would be similar to how I look now – blonde, blue eyes. Yet, when I saw this woman I recognized her as me and Remembered that is how I look when not in a body (most of the time anyway). My guidance was close when I woke up and I asked them, “Is that what I look like?” I heard back, “We take many forms.” But I also got confirmation.

I have read that when we are no longer in human form that we often choose to appear as we did in a favorite lifetime. It could be that we learned a great deal in that lifetime or that we were happiest or even that we failed miserably in it. Whatever it is, we all have our favorites and so tend to wear that form to remind ourselves of our accomplishments and how far we have come. I am certain that this woman is not the only form I take, but the memory of the lifetime I spent as her says enough in itself to inform me of why I choose to look like her. There are many of her traits that I wish I could transfer to this lifetime. Most of them, actually. lol

There is a lifetime I once recalled only the briefest moments of. I was an Asian female but I can’t recall the exact dates of that lifetime now. The memory is of practicing playing the cello for hours upon hours to the point that my fingers would bleed. My father would insist I practice and make me practice until it was perfect, even if my fingers were bleeding and swollen. The main memory was of being forced to play, blood pouring from my fingertips in excruciating pain. Though I had enjoyed playing the cello, all enjoyment of music was extinguished by the brutality imposed upon me by my own father. That lifetime is likely not the same lifetime, but I don’t honestly know.

Finally, there has been an Asian link throughout my spiritual journey in this lifetime. Steven, my spiritual counterpart (etheric twin), told me that his last lifetime on Earth was lived in Mongolia during the time of Genghis Khan. Whenever I see him in astral or dreams he is Asian. Sometimes he is the typical Mongolian Asian with a very flat face, and other times he takes other Asian forms such as Indian, Chinese and Japanese.



Fly Away

There is a particular past life memory that is revisiting me this morning. Mainly it is because a song is on my mind – I’ll Fly Away.

Sometimes there are past life memories that come up and are so beautiful that the memory reaches across lifetimes and brings tears of joy. This is one of those memories. It also just happens to be a memory of my own death.

This was from my most recent full-life. I say full because the life previous to this one was cut short when I was still a very young boy. In this particular life, I died in 1963 from Hepatitis, which I inadvertently contracted from contact with a dirty needle. I was a nurse in that lifetime so dirty needles were an everyday occurrence. Unfortunately, accidents happen.

This particular memory was from my deathbed. I was in the hospital, hooked up to all kinds of tubes and wires. The memory is from outside of my body because I had been unconscious for some time. My liver had failed and so it was just a waiting game from that point on. My two children came to visit me that day because they had been told my death was imminent. They were both grown. A son and a daughter. I believe there were others with them, but in the memory they were who I focused on.

I was a black woman who grew up in the South (Mississippi) and relied heavily on my relationship with God to get me through. My church and my brothers and sisters in Christ were my salvation more times than I could count. Singing was also interwoven into every aspect of my life. So it is no surprise that music followed me out of that lifetime.

As I was leaving to go into the Light, my children along with the others who were gathered at my bedside, sang I’ll Fly Away and other songs to send me off to heaven. Though they were sad and grieving heavily there was also joy present. And love. So much love. The feeling with this memory and this song was jubilation. I was going Home.

The memory was devoid of pain. Though my body was falling apart, slowly dying from the inside out, I had no pain. I was in a perfect bubble of peace, completely unconcerned for my physical body and my approaching death. All my focus was on my beautiful children who I was so very proud of and the feeling was that I had done a good job and could leave them without worry. I don’t remember my guides or any angels being present. I don’t remember seeing a tunnel of light or having any of those profound experiences so many NDE accounts speak of. Yet I knew that when I turned around and left, that I would be embraced by my waiting family. I could feel them all around me. That was the bubble of peace. They were my peace.

So you can see why this memory is cherished by me even in this lifetime. Recalling it helped me understand that death is a celebration, an event of homecoming. A new beginning. If I could give one gift to those living on Earth, it would be a similar memory of their own death (homecoming). Then there would be no reason to grieve the passing of a loved one or to fear their own passing. Death, in my opinion, is probably the most beautiful part of living.

Another Past Life Revealed

After the Kundalini experience this morning (which I wrote about here), I fell to sleep and entered into a vivid dream. This dream revealed yet another past life, one which I had not previously recalled.

Dream: Past Life

I was standing outside on a pier. I don’t know where this pier was nor the time period. My main intention for being there was to resolve an issue from a past life. I knew this. I also knew I was male.

In front of me was a person I know from this life. She was a classmate of mine from 5th grade until graduation from high school. When I saw her in the dream, though, I knew her as someone I had wronged. She had been my lover many years before and I had left her suddenly without cause or reason given. This had left her wondering and sad for the remainder of her life. Though she continued on in that life, she was left with the scar. I had come to ask her forgiveness and allow us both to heal.

I approached her, asking her how she had been all this time. She was melancholy and there was discussion of her marrying and having children. I recall seeing scenes from her life but now they are a blur. I was very caring with her and gentle, trying to sooth her upset. I apologized for my actions, for leaving her without notice and never contacting her to explain. There was discussion of a child lost. A young boy who died as a child. I am not sure but he may have been our child and I remember feeling very sorry for never having met him.

There was toward the end of this dream a feeling of moving on for us both.


Upon waking I knew with certainty why my relationship with her in this life had been what it had been. It was so very clear!

The entire time I knew her in this life she was very beautiful and one of the popular girls. I envied her for both things but also recognized that her position was gained only because she was presented a false version of herself to others. I absolutely despise those who are fake/lie and cannot stand to be around them. In middle school I did not know this about myself. I assumed I was just jealous and was hard on myself for my tendency to shy away from most girls my age because of their fakeness.

At one point this girl, who I will call B, wanted to be my friend. She was especially persistent in acquiring my friendship and I eagerly became her best friend despite not liking her very much. She had a strange interest in me, though, and I did in her as well. My interest was mostly curiosity. I wanted to know who she really was. I quickly learned more than I wanted to know.

She was always looking at me when I undressed and commenting on my appearance. I was especially mature for my age. At 13 I looked like I do now. She, on the other hand, had not even begun to get her breasts. She also wanted to know everything about me. She was constantly asking questions and wanting to come spend the night. When over at my house she would ask my family about me. It made me very uncomfortable. I later learned she was gaining information to use against me if needed. This was how she played all of her friends. Quite despicable!

She also used our friendship to get material things. She had little money-wise and considered me “rich” because we had a swimming pool (funny!). She often was able to get me to buy her things – she was very persuasive!

Eventually she began to use our friendship to her advantage at school. I was one of the smart kids in school. She was not. lol She often got answers to math questions from me and at one point I got fed up with it. I did not like being a part of her cheating. During a test I loudly stated, “No, I will not let you cheat off me, B.” Everyone in the classroom, including the teacher, heard me and stared at her wide-eyed. I’m sure she was completely humiliated. When things calmed she turned to me with an evil look and said, “I guess we aren’t friends anymore.” I responded, “I guess not.”

From that point on she made it her job to make my life miserable as best she could. I, thankfully, didn’t care much about social acceptance and kept to myself. But I hated her from then on because what she presented to others was a lie. She has been in my dreams on and off ever since, which drove me crazy!

Upon realizing this past life, I understood why we were destined to have this relationship in this life. Had we been of opposite genders, then we likely would have played into our past life roles. Either way, we would have hated one another because the past life was left with such animosity on her part because our relationship was never resolved. I hope now that it has been!

To Become Whole, We Must First Be Separate

Warning – this post could upset some of you, especially those of you who have experienced sexual trauma.

“To become Whole, We must first Be Separate”.

This was what I was told this morning when I awoke in tears from a dream directed at helping me to heal a major wound which I have been carrying with me for many, many lives.


In the dream I was a counselor who was told about an incident where a young girl witnessed her father molesting her little brother. In the dream, I actually witnessed it as well. I took the girl to report it and listened to her statement.

Then I shifted into a hospital setting and was laying in a bed. Everything was white. In front of me was this machine that I knew was an electroshock therapy machine. It was connected to me. I kept shocking myself over and over again with it. For some reason the shock made me feel better and I would smile. I both experienced and witnessed this as it occurred.

Then a man came into the room. I recognized him as my partner. He was completely naked. He radiated unconditional love and sympathy as he crawled into my hospital bed and snuggled up to me. I felt completely numb and did not respond to him.

When I awoke, I was crying uncontrollably. It was not sobbing, but more silent, slow tears that wouldn’t stop no matter how hard I tried to stop them and my heart chakra was ablaze with a warm, comforting feeling. I heard from my Companion, “It’s not your fault.”

Healing a Deep Wound

The wound itself has been one of discussion in this blog before. It specifically comes from the past 3 lives prior to this one but is also a part of this lifetime.

The wound, simply put, is betrayal. More specifically, this betrayal is betrayal of love and trust. The love of a child for a parent. The love of a woman for her husband. The complete trust of a child that their parents will care for them, protect them, and nurture them because they are too small and too innocent to do so themselves. The complete trust of a wife in her husband and expectation that he will protect her and bear what she cannot.

With all this betrayal of love and trust also comes a feeling of complete abandonment by God.

There is also a complete disgust for mankind and the male gender in general.

To recap:

  • Most recent past life: I was murdered by my father at the age of 6. I am not sure why but Remembered this morning that my mother, who I thought innocent, was an accomplice. Betrayal by parents.
  • Life before that: I married a man who was abusive and raped me. Betrayal by husband.
  • Life before that: As a child I was molested by my own father after my mother’s death. Later in that life I was murdered by my own husband who also murdered our infant son and then killed himself. Betrayal by father. Betrayal by husband.

This Lifetime

Memories from this life also surfaced. When I was little, around 7 years old, I walked past our bathroom and saw our neighbor using the restroom in front of my little sister. He was asking her, “Do you want to touch it.” Horrified, I took my sister’s hand and told her, “No.” The moment will forever be ingrained in my memory.

I told my mom but I had no idea what, if anything, she did about. The neighbors eventually moved to Mexico, though.

Fast forward to 2003. On a road trip back from California, I fell asleep in the back seat only to awaken to the sound of my mom and older sister having a serious conversation. In it, I overheard that my sister had been molested by the neighbor when she was 10-11 years old. This was the same neighbor who I had seen trying to get my younger sister to touch him. I interrupted their conversation because I was totally shocked. My sister said, “I thought you knew about it. He did it to you, too.” I had no idea what she was talking about.

She went on to tell of what exactly he did and how he use to touch all three of us when swimming in our pool. My sister has struggled with healing from her experiences her whole life.

I still have no memory of any of it.

In recalling all of this, I wondered if maybe I buried memories from this life to save myself from what my sister is still struggling to heal. I honestly don’t think that he did to me what he did to her, but I have feelings that do not make sense from that time in my life. I also have huge gaps in my memory from that time in my life.

Connecting the Dots

Beliefs and feelings were obvious to me. It was like a flood of information, as if all the weeks of deep sleep and healing were finally revealed.

Love is painful. Men are not to be trusted. It was my fault, so I should be punished.

There are other false beliefs but these are the main ones. The last, especially, is troublesome because it is the last belief that continues the cycle.

My guidance has long told me, “You are special”. It was repeated this morning. This time, however, I understood why. This phrase was often spoken to me when I was molested by my father in the first life in this cycle. Everything that happened after was associated with that phrase. That is why I always retract from it and experience fear when I hear it. I always think, “I am NOT special.” I don’t want to be special because to be special means accepting what happened to me and what I was – which was “bad”. In that lifetime I felt I was being punished – by my father and by God – but I had no idea what I had done wrong.

It was reiterated that none of it was my fault and that I need not be punished any longer. The emotions from that and the other lifetime resurfaced. Emotions of confusion of a child who loved his/her parents unconditionally only to suffer at their hands. Despite all of their mistreatment of me, I still loved them. I love them so much that I assumed it was not their fault but my own.

I was reminded that I reject love from others; I do not allow myself to be loved fully. Love is fully trusting in another. It is placing all of yourself in their hands. I refuse to do that. If I cannot do that, I cannot become Whole.

This wound is the last big hurdle I face in the path to Wholeness. I asked why I had not just healed it on the Other Side between lives. It was explained that when we are Home we are separated from much of the experience of the pain, so we cannot fully heal our wounds unless we are in the physical where they originated. When I return to the physical the pattern continues – I feel I should be punished and so I am. And it was never my fault to begin with.






A Selection of True Awakening Experiences Part II

I am participating in Barbara Franken’s February challenge and sharing my personal awakening experience in A Selection of True Awakening Experiences Part II. 🙂

When I consider my own spiritual awakening, I am at first overwhelmed by the enormity of the task I have set for myself when participating in this challenge. If I start in a linear fashion, from the very beginning of my awakening in 2003, the length of this post would be unbearably long. However, if I look at the various paths I took and the lessons I learned along the way, the task is much easier to swallow.

Constantly Questioning

From the minute I could form my first thought, there was a question. I haven’t stopped asking questions since.

As a child one of the first things I recall doing when I had the ability to, was to go back to my very first memory and remember all I could. Before that first memory, there was nothing. Just blackness. This intrigued me because I could feel something was being blocked from my view. Why was this? Why am I here? What happened before I got here? Where was I before I got here? Who am I?

Sometimes asking these questions sent me down unbearably dark paths for when I asked, “Why am I here?” I often asked my someone external to myself like my mother or my sister. Other times it brought me into great moments of joy and awe for sometimes I was presented with a question in return – What do you think? – and when that happened so did some pretty wonderful realizations.

Meeting Myself

Ultimately, like all those who go searching the deepest, darkest places, I was ran face first into the many facets of myself. I opened a Pandora’s Box and there was no going back. I had to confront myself; everything “good” and everything “dark” had to be inspected. I did this with the help of my Companion, Steven, who is my counterpart in Spirit. He is the part of me who Remembers, as he likes to say. And his role is to share some of that memory with me, in little bits and pieces. But I have to ask the right questions. It is all in asking the right questions.

Eventually, all this questioning, led me to my spiritual gifts. This happened seemingly all at once but really it took about a month for them all to manifest. Suddenly, I was a medium, a healer, a medical intuitive, a channel, and a psychic all at once. This threw me into a tailspin. I quit my job, changed my name, and went on a journey which ultimately led to the beginning of my Dark Night of the Soul. It was an eye-opening journey and one that taught me how to love myself when in the past I could barely look at my own reflection.

During my Dark Night my spiritual progression intensified exponentially. I had spontaneous past life memories that I would re-experience as if they were happening in the present. These would be presented to me for inspection and clearing. My Companion or one of my Assistants would take me through the life, asking me questions similar to how a hypnotherapist does when they walk their client through a past life. Each question would open up more of the life and the accompanying emotions. This was an excruciating process as you can imagine. Many lives had to be visited more than once in order to be cleared. Some are still in the process of clearing.

To date, I have Remembered 30+ Earth lives. The time frame extends from before 10,000BC to the present. Many of them are recorded in my blog sequentially, but I have not yet included them all. I have also recalled lives from other planets/dimensions.


In addition to revisiting my past lives during my Dark Night, I also experienced my first spontaneous OBE. This opened up a path of exploration that I never knew existed. What was most amazing is that OBEs finally allowed me to be face-to-face with my Team of guides and, most importantly, with my Companion. Talk about exciting! Suddenly I was visiting other dimensions, other planets, other realms, and my Companion was always there with me. Sometimes I would see him, touch him, hear him. Other times I would just feel him next to me, guiding me and showing me what I needed to see. Through OBEs I was able to tap into yet another unknown part of myself – the timeless, multidimensional, manifesting, and powerful I AM.


Right from the get-go I had Kundalini activity. I didn’t know what it was at first, so it was quite scary. As I got use to it, however, she became like an old friend. She started from the top down at first and all I can say is, “Wow!” Nothing compares to a top-down Kundalini activation. Instant awareness and connection to Source/All That Is. Intense clearing, spontaneous past life recollections, spirit guide communication, and every kind of healing you can imagine.

Then she went dormant for over 7 years accompanied by a seemingly complete loss of my spiritual gifts, a significant reduction in OBEs, and extremely limited communication with my Team of guides. She returned with a vengeance in 2014, this time on a wild ride from root to crown. The sensations this time around are even more intense and the experiences more profound than the first and I don’t think she will be letting up anytime soon.


The most recent path I have been led down has been the most difficult for me. Contact was made with me by other worldly Beings – Beings from other dimensions, other planets, other times. The first visits were while I was OOB and fully aware. They showed themselves as my own reflection in the mirror or would stand in the shadows. Other times they would wake me in the morning for “briefings” and I would have intense channeling sessions where my crown would seem to just open up and information (light) would pour into me. Oftentimes this would come in the form of codes, or light language. These experiences were also accompanied by memories of the “work” I do as part of the Galactic Federation of Light Ground Crew as a grid-worker and energy worker/healer.


Finally, I am Remembering more and more of my path/purpose here. I am just now beginning to see it fully forming ahead of me; though, unbeknownst to me, I have been traveling it from the beginning. It is the path of service- the reason I am here. To help. To be of assistance. To prepare the path for those to come. I am not completely sure what this will look like but I am more than ready to get started.

So this is my story of awakening thus far and in a nut shell. It is ever-changing and I know it will not be the same today as tomorrow or the next day. My Team knows I get bored easily and need to be kept on my toes and they do their job extremely well! I am never disappointed. 🙂

Next up in the challenge is Mick.