Lucid Dream: The Giggles

For some reason I have been having tons of lucid dreams. I had two the night before last and then one last night as well along with quite a few semi-lucid dreams.

Lucid Dream: The Giggles

I was in a classroom adjacent to another classroom. I went next door and spoke to the teacher there. He reminded me of someone I know online, but his energy was that of my counterpart. There was conversation about weight lifting at this time. He was lifting 5lb plates and trying to get in shape. I remember telling him that I thought he could lift more than that. He joked that I was trying to coach him so that I could get him to look like I wanted him. There was a feeling here that he and my team of guides were teasing me about my exercise routine. There was most definitely a feeling from this teacher friend that he was romantically interested in me. I remember thinking it inappropriate because I was married. My consideration obviously amused him.

At this point a woman began to sing and I looked around the room for something to accompany her with. I saw two drums in the room and a large gong. I thought about playing them and then decided against it for some reason, yet I could hear the drums very distinctly as if someone was playing them. I mentioned the gong to the teacher and he said it would not have been a good idea. I said to him, “Yeah, they are loud. My mom had one.” I realized after that had I hit the gong it would have made me too lucid.

Then I was talking to a Hispanic woman and she was discussing the after-effects of pregnancy. She was laughing and joking about giving birth, even pretending to push out a baby. Then she joked about the double tummy that was left behind and even showed me hers which was quite large with massive stretch marks. She did have a tummy under a tummy, too. She asked me if I had this after pregnancy and I told her no but we joked about it.

This is when the man came back into the room. He asked what we were laughing about and the woman made a joke to him about male childbirth that I can’t remember now. He thought it was funny, though. I believe it was about ejaculation because after the comment I had a can of whipping cream and was spraying him in the face with it. It hit him in the eye and I burst out laughing. Then I put it all around his neck. Something about this was extremely funny to me because I started laughing so hard that I couldn’t breathe. It was a deep belly laugh that felt wonderful.



I woke up laughing hard. My heart chakra was warm and expansive and I felt relaxed and happy. I immediately thanked my Companion because he had done what I asked him to do – meet me in my dreams.

Afterwards we talked for a bit. I felt so much love for him, like we were old friends and reconnecting. All the dark, angry, confused feelings I had been having vanished and I felt comfortable and happy. There was also a return to wanting to be with him; to come into Union. He commented that what I was feeling was my True Self, that with him I was free to be me.

The connection with him fired up the Kundalini briefly. My heart was an expanse of warmth and there would be occasional shots of energy from my heart straight to my root and then back up again. My resistance toward the experience completely melted away.

This dream experience is a great example of the relationship I have with my Companion (spiritual counterpart) and team of guides. There is a lot of playful energy between us and an eternal love and peace. The entire lucid experience was of my group making fun of my very human considerations. Thankfully, I saw the humor in it as well.

Dream: Anything for Love

I managed to fall back to sleep despite the Kundalini activity. The dream I ended up in was semi-lucid. I was with a man who owned a red Ferrari. I remember looking at it, opening the doors which opened up over our heads. The man in the dream was wearing armor. I remember he looked huge, like some kind of action hero. I can’t remember his face very well, but I think there was brown hair.

He took me for a ride in his Ferrari and as he drove he kept taking out this bottle filled with a bright orange liquid. He would fill the cap with the liquid and drink it like he was drinking liquor and he would close his eyes like he was getting high. I watched him do this and finally asked him what it was he was drinking. I remember thinking he must be a drug addict. I also knew we were a couple and had been for a while and I had resisted asking him about this strange, orange elixir.

He pulled up to a house and took another swig of the stuff. I felt uncomfortable and told him we should not park there because someone would wonder why we were there. But he was out of it. A man came out of the house. He was dressed in black. When I saw him, I jumped out of the car and had this huge shotgun. I shot the man dead before he could alert anyone to our being there. I was shocked that I had done this but felt I would do it again in a heartbeat for him (my partner). That is when I noticed the car to our right was a long, black hearse. There was a man standing there looking at me in shock. I realized then that I was wearing a police uniform and so was my partner sitting in the car.

My partner and I ran from the car and into a field near a school. A blonde woman saw us and showed us to a large, multi-storied house. We went inside and I realized it was a safehouse.  I felt like a criminal for some reason.

Then we were down by the car preparing to leave and ran into three more police officers. I was scared they would recognize me and arrest me, but they were friendly and helpful. My partner and I spoke to them for a while about art and he was showing them paintings that we had done. I recall seeing a painting I had done of him. It was very detailed. He was naked and laying down. All I remember now is his chest and face. He was very handsome but again not anyone I recognized. There was also a sketch in pencil of the two of us laying in bed naked, our bodies intertwined. We were holding hands over the top of both of our heads. The feeling from it was beautiful. I recognized myself in the sketch but his face was hidden. The main image I recall is us holding hands and the feeling here was of complete and utter devotion. There was a feeling that I would do anything for him.

Kundalini Signs

When I woke up from this dream I again felt very at ease and calm. I continue to feel this way. It is like I spent the entire night being hugged and comforted. Yet when I woke I had visions of a symbol that was written in fire. The fire was alive, moving and sparking. I don’t remember the symbol now except that there were three dots that were sparking out towards me.

Into the Shadow Self

Are you feeling the eclipse energies? I am and have been for a week at least. I want to make this as upbeat a post as I can, but honestly I am far from feeling upbeat. I feel more apathetic and drained than I have in a  long while. It is like my emotional center is being blocked of all love, all motivation, all desire for anything. I am also angry for no reason and the tiniest of things can make me go off. Similarly, there will be moments when something simple will make me smile and laugh and remember that I am blessed. Those blessed moments are few and far between, though.

I haven’t done a symptom list in a long while. I think now is appropriate.

Bouts of anger
Skin issues (eczema, acne, itchy)
Tooth and jaw pain
Deep sleep
Tons of vivid dreams, some lucid
Loss of appetite
Feeling disconnected from guidance
Internal conflict

Into the Shadow

I don’t talk about what has been termed “Team Dark” (TD) very often, mostly because it is so difficult for me to understand this part of the ascension process. It is, at times, very obvious to me, though, that such a force exists and is influencing this world and my experiences in it.

The reason I am writing about it today is because of this morning’s experiences.When there is a feeling of distance between myself and my guidance, my dreams become the pathway they use to convey to me what I need to know. My Team recently changed out and this new group tends to use dreams and the in-between more often than not anyway.

This morning I had a vivid dream about Star Wars again (third or fourth dream to date). In the dream I was shown two very different parts of myself – the angry, irritable part that seems to dominate now and the happy, trusting and connected part. Basically, I was being shown that my Shadow Self is being exposed for inspection and that this is the domain of TD. Advice was given to not fall victim to the thoughts that tend to arise from this self-defeating part of me. I was also advised to share what I am going through because it will be thematic for many in the coming months.

It is as if we are passing through our own shadow right now. The eclipse in itself is symbolic of this passage. A shadow is cast over it just like a shadow is cast over us as we travel through this period of transformation. Not everyone will feel their shadow self as intensely as I will. To those in this group I say – lucky you! Me, well, I have a tendency to fall into the dark anyway, but this shadow stage is going to really bury me. I can feel it already.

For starters, I tend to feel like everyone – the world – is against me. I get angry and controlling and lash out at those who don’t deserve my wrath. I feel as if I am carrying around a grenade that could go off at any moment. This behavior was very common for me when I was a child but has since been controlled and edited to be socially acceptable. However, these socially unacceptable parts will come up for inspection because they are within the domain of the Shadow Self. These are the parts of the self which need to be nurtured, loved and accepted so that they integrate into the Whole. If not allowed to integrate they continue to control our behavior and set us up for failure and disappointment. Exactly what TD wants, right?

It has been advised that the way to integrate these aspects is to not overthink them or try to analyze them into nonexistence. That is WHY they exist because we have mentally compartmentalized them and partitioned them away, hidden from view. My guidance is encouraging me to feel these feelings, love them as part of myself and disperse the negative energy associated with them through loving acceptance. Additionally, I am being encouraged to tap into my creative side; to express myself through art, sing from my heart, immerse myself in nature, and surround myself with those who I love (even if I want to bite their heads off sometimes). It is through positive self-expression that the Shadow Self can be heard/expressed/integrated.

Of all the healing one can do, this is the most intense and laborious. We’re to those final layers of the onion. Peeling away these last ones will not be easy. I can feel my eyes tearing up already.

How long will this last? Depends on the individual. I was told to expect my journey into the Shadow Self to last through November. Ugh. Not what I wanted to hear. Mini-Dark Night of the Soul? Probably. For some this journey will go all the way through until March, 2017. The sun comes out then for everyone regardless, just in time for Spring.

Dreams and Divine Calling

I slept really hard, so hard that when I woke up and saw the clock showing 10:30pm I was certain the clock was wrong. I had gone to bed at 9pm and must have immediately passed out. I had been warned prior to going to sleep by one of my guides. He said to me, “You will be disoriented and not know what time it is.”

Dream: Twin Teacher

I had several vivid dreams but have forgotten the majority of them now. One I remember is walking into a classroom and seeing a man. He had dark hair and a go-T. He was familiar to me but I did not want to see him. I knew he came because he was romantically interested in me. He was smiling and very friendly, but I was thinking for some reason that I was also male. Why I thought this, I don’t know, but in the dream I saw myself as looking almost identical to him! I told him, “We can’t be together. We are twins (brothers).” He asked me where I wanted him to go in the classroom because he came to take over the class (substitute) for me while I was gone. He saw my desk and pointed to it and said, “That looks like a good place.” He was quite pushy but he was smiling and obviously trying to be funny. I didn’t think it was funny.

Since he wouldn’t leave, I decided to leave, but he followed me. He smiled the whole time and I kept feeling him behind me, like he was my shadow.

Then we were by a pool. It was not familiar to me. Usually I go to my Mom’s pool but this one, though it was also in the ground, was different and set farther from the house by a pathway. It had taller trees around it and there was more patio space.

I saw the dark haired man lounging by the pool. He had grown enormously fat for some reason and was laying next to a young girl who I identified as the owner’s daughter. The man was dressed from head to toe in black – black button up t-shirt and black cargo jeans. I was furious with him for some reason and kept asking him to give me back my keys. He acted like he didn’t hear me at first, then like he didn’t know what I was talking about. Frustrated, I put my hand into his right jean pocket to search for them but found nothing. He laughed and another person, the woman who owned the house, produced the keys. She tossed them at me and he caught them and then tried to keep them away from me. Finally, though, he put them on the patio table and I snatched them up and went back toward the house.

The owner of the house went with me to the back, sliding glass door. Still unfamiliar to me, I stopped short of going in because there was light colored carpet on the inside and I did not want to get it dirty. So I wiped my feet on the mat outside the door. So did the woman. This is when I noticed the owner/woman was dark skinned. I saw my reflection in the door and saw I was also dark skinned and quite petite, young and pretty.


Dream: Yellow Paint

In this dream I was with a group of “family” but the only person I recognized was my older sister. I remember we were staying together at a house. Our packed bags were up against the wall and the house itself had a golden hue to it. For some reason I had lost my contact lenses. A friend, who was not present, had some and she had told all of us if we needed anything we could borrow her stuff. So I borrowed her contact and put them in. I remember them being over sized and uncomfortable. I also recall getting into a car while wearing them and not being able to see well in the dark, nearly rear ending another car.

Then I was inside a room that was like a restaurant but also a school, it seemed to be both. We were taking a test but there was this young girl who was having a rough time. I was sent to recover her but got distracted by a bucket of yellow paint. I decided to paint my legs with it. The young woman was distressed because she was on her period and was also complaining about her age. She was 37. She was embarrassed about being on her period and I advised her to go for a run to help with the cramps and blood flow issues. I then reassured her that she was still young, comparing her age to my own and telling her I had a baby at her age. I was able to recover her but the main memory here is of painting my legs yellow.


My initial feeling about the first dream is that I was having a discussion with my counterpart who obviously had more of a sense of human than me. He is always much more laid back and humorous than I am but sometimes it is very frustrating, as was evident in the dream. I was resisting being with my counterpart the entire dream. He is the one, though, who “holds the keys”. The fact that he was very fat is symbolic of prosperity but can also go along with the saying, “It ain’t over ’til the fat lady sings.” The latter would be appropriate considering the humor here. The carpet was white in this dream. White is spirituality and carpet represents one’s foundation.

In the second dream I seem to be trying to see something more clearly but am unable to. There is fear of losing control or having a collision. The luggage (another common theme) indicates that which I am carrying around with me – burdens, responsibilities, desires, etc. The paint is a recurring symbol, like the luggage. In this instance I am painting myself yellow. Body paint is self-acceptance. Yellow represents happiness, harmony and wisdom. Menstruation indicates an end to difficult times and a beginning of relaxation. Some pent up tension/worry is being released.


Conversation with Guide

When I woke up I was exhausted and a guide who called himself “Justice” was with me. I am not sure if this guide was male or female, maybe androgynous, but I got an entire talking to about my Divine Calling. It is not often that a guide shares with me some of their own past experiences, but this one did. She/he said that they understood my hesitation. She (in this instance the guide seemed more female) told me that she had similar situations in her past lives. I asked how they were similar and she said that she had stayed in an unhappy marriage many times. She said in one she stayed even though she was often beaten and emotional abused by her husband. I extended my sympathies to her because in a past life I also stayed in an abusive relationship so I understood her experience all too well. However, this was not the case this time. So, I  justified why I should stay – gave all the reasons I could think of, the main one being I was meant to be there for my children. I also remember saying, “I made my bed so now I get to sleep in it.” This I said in regards to having children and the responsibility that comes with being a mother/parent. Of course, this guide had a good response for every justification I gave.

I finally told this guide to leave me alone. I actually told them all to leave me alone. lol Not only was I tired and wanted to try and get more sleep before I had to get up and do my mommy job of getting my kids on the bus, but I was fed up with my guides hounding me. This is when Justice said to me, “What does your heart tell you?” Without meaning to, I focused on my heart. I suppose it is a habit now. When I did this I knew more than I wanted to know. Justice then said to me, “It’s your Divine calling.” This infuriated me and I said back, “Since when do you tell me what my calling is?” I was reminded I have a choice, then, but that when there is a soul contract made at the soul (HS) level it will eventually be fulfilled regardless. For some reason this calmed me and I said, “Good. I would rather be forced into this decision. It is just too hard to do on my own.”

Dream: House Renovations

Before bed last night I asked to know what was in my future.

Dream: House Renovation

I had a very in-depth dream about renovating a house. It was not a familiar house but resembled an older Craftsman home. There had been an addition at one point of a bedroom that had been later renovated into a large, walk-in pantry or closet.

In the beginning of the dream, my computer ran out of battery. What is funny is that the computer is a desktop so no battery needed. It was plugged in alongside three other computers but this one, mine, was dead and needed to be recharged. I was upset about this but recall seeing the blue light turn on and using another computer instead of mine for the interim. The computer sat in a shallow pan of water while it charged, too. It was really strange. I had on a large headset and was plugged into one of the other computers. It reminded me of an information stream via music. I don’t recall hearing music but the feeling was that this was my “lifeline”.

Then my husband, who I never quite got a good look at, was inviting a neighbor into the house to help renovate the peeling plaster and other areas. The main focus was this closet. It had very tall ceilings and the top two feet had been plastered wrong and was coming off in chunks. It had also only been painted halfway and old, brown carpet covered a four foot by five foot section leaving the rest of the floor bare. The walls in the hall were also only partially painted with tape up as if someone had been interrupted while painting. The color of the hall was a vibrant blue.

Soon there were several neighbors coming inside to help. I was focused on my children and ignored them for the most part. I remember wearing my pajamas and not caring about my appearance. At one point I lay down in the bed and felt I needed to justify my actions to one of the neighbors by saying, “I’m tired.” There was quite a bit of movement and work being done on the house.

I went back into the closet and one of the neighbors was up in the corner removing plaster. He said someone had used the wrong sponge and it was all dried out. The room had been cleared of all objects and I remember thinking a shelf was going to be put that went along the top of the room. I began to tear up the carpet. There was this cable that was sticking out of the floor. It appeared to go down into the basement. I pulled on it and it seemed to want to come all the way out. I left it alone, though, as I was afraid it was connected to something important.

Then I was standing in the bathroom talking to a man who I assume was one of my guides. We were inspecting the walls and I told him, “I want all the plaster replaced with drywall. I hate the plaster and it will just peel and crumble.” The man asked me if this was a good idea especially since I would likely be moving in the next couple of years. I thought about it, as if his comment about the time period triggered a memory of something.

I began to gain lucidity at this point and the dream kind of blacks out. The last thing I recall is hearing a man say to me, “All I want to hear from you is that you love me.” This woke me up straight away. My heart was warm and there was a brief shot of energy to my root and up again. That’s when it occurred to me that this dream was in response to my question.


It appears that my future holds a lot of work on myself.

  • Renovating – looking at life from a new perspective.
  • Battery – since it is dead I am feeling emotionally exhausted.
  • Computer – information.
  • Closet – something in life I have kept hidden from myself and/or others.
  • Plaster – there is a matter I am trying to resolve or settle. I wanted it gone and was fixated on it in the dream because it was peeling and crumbling.
  • Drywall – a desire for privacy.
  • Bathroom – purification and self-renewal.
  • Carpet – self-protection and/or life foundation, the carpet is brown and old/worn. Brown indicates practicality, domestic bliss, material comfort.
  • Paint – expression of inner emotions.
  • Blue – truth, wisdom, heaven, devotion, tranquility, openness.
  • Cable – stamina; since it is linked to something deeper then likely so is my stamina.

When I woke the feeling was that I want to reformat my life; renovate it but I don’t feel like I have the energy or information to do what needs to be done. There is a very strong apathetic feeling in regards to my life situation.


The last statement which woke me up triggered an entire inner dialogue about self-love. It also triggered a mind vs. heart conflict, one that has been on-going for some time. I asked my guides, “Why can’t things just be consistent?” The answer was that it would be if I would just stay in my heart. But what my heart tells me seems to trigger tons of negative self-talk. I was asked, “Don’t you deserve to be happy?” And this is when the self-love came into the conversation.

I was asked by my guidance, “If this was one of your children, what would you do?” Hahaha Well of course I would help them get what they wanted in any way I could. I want them to be happy.

It became very clear to me then that I was not treating myself the way I should. If I treated myself like I treat one of my children, if I loved myself the same as I love them, there would be no inner conflict. I would follow my heart and be done with it.

This brought up a whole string of beliefs for inspection. Beliefs about love. Beliefs about relationships. Beliefs about happiness. These are all born in the mind. The heart doesn’t have beliefs, it just has love and the potential to create love. After being overwhelmed by all my beliefs I was kinda wishing my brain would be wiped clean so that I could follow my heart without constant interference. Spiritual lobotomy? lol

Human Design

Yesterday I had been thinking about how I am rarely certain about what I want for myself. I seem to just float around from one thing to the next, but never really feel passionate about any one thing. I like lots of things and can do them all. So in thinking about this and remembering what I was told, I saw very clearly a pattern in my life. I attract to me individuals who want something that I can give them. When I meet them I finally feel I have a purpose. This has been in all relationships in my life but specifically noticeable in romantic relationships. In my relationships I help the other person to achieve their goals. That is my primary drive in the relationship. I did this knowingly for my first husband. I would not leave the relationship until I had helped him reach his goal. Without me he would never have achieved it. The same is happening in my current relationship, though we have had “mutual” goals along the way, his were my primary focus and continue to be.

I saw very clearly why I had created in this life’s personality the lack of individual motivation toward any one particular career or life goal. My purpose is to help others, not myself. I purposely created in this life a need for others to inspire within me my own purpose . Without these others my own purpose is diminished and unable to be completely realized. What they want I help them get and through helping them I am able to fulfill my purpose.

This is not the first time I have recognized this about myself and life. In the past I always saw it as a negative thing, as a weakness of mine that needed to be overcome. Therefore, I have resisted helping my significant others achieve their goals, becoming stubborn and actively working against them at times. I never felt good doing that. In fact, when I was in this mode I felt awful and at my lowest. However, if I worked with them, to help them, my disposition shifted and I would be content. Yesterday, in seeing this pattern I saw it as purposeful. If I had not instilled in this life’s personality a lack of individual, well-defined purpose then I would not have been in the position of being willing to help those I had agreed to help. And being my mission is “to help” then wouldn’t it be best to make sure that my own motivation only be triggered via teaming up with another?

Human Design

With this realization I remembered learning a while back that I am a Projector. This is one of the four types of human beings and their strategies as laid out in Human Design. A friend of mine introduced me to Human Design a while back and I submitted my information and was told that I am a Projector. I got my chart for free here if you are interested. This website offers you the ability to get more information about your energy type for free if you sign up (also free).

In my free chart I was given this information along with access to an explanation of the chart:

TYPE: Projector

Life Theme: Bitterness

Strategy: Wait to be Invited

PROFILE: 6 / 2 Role Model Hermit

33-19 / 2-1 : The left angle cross of Refinement

Juxtaposition – Trans-Personal Karma

DEFINITION: Single Definition

AUTHORITY: Self Projected

As a Projector, I have to wait to be invited to help another person. In other words, their energy has to invite me in. I have experienced this in life. If someone is interested in me, then their energy is inviting. However, they can choose at any time to withdraw their invitation which to me results in a feeling of being “blocked” by them and thus feeling rejected. I am very sensitive to rejection and so have withdrawn much from others in this life. This goes hand-in-hand with what my chart indicates: Hermit. lol I do feel very bitter when I am rejected and this has also led to me learning to wait rather than to try and force myself to be invited by others. So, overall, what I have learned from my chart supports my life experiences and has helped me to understand more about my life and relationships.

From what my friend told me, Projectors are usually connected to Manifestors and Manifestor Generators. I had the charts of my family members done and found that my entire family (husband and all three children) are Generators and Manifestor Generators.

I am still exploring the website to learn more about my chart, the channels, centers and gates. It is all very fascinating. Here is just some of what my chart reveals about me:

My defined centers (fixed and reliable aspects of Self):

  • Throat – Themes: Communication, Manifestation, Materialization, Contact with the Exterior worlds, Outlet for Energy and Expression, Speaking and Doing
  • G Center  – Identity of Self; Themes: identity, love and direction

My open centers (an open center is a conditioning receptor which creates the Not-Self (Ego).:

  • Root – Always in a hurry to feel free of pressure.
  • Sacral – Not knowing when enough is enough.
  • Spleen – Holding onto what isn’t good for you.
  • Solar Plexus – Avoiding confrontation and truth.
  • Heart – Feeling unworthy and undervalued.
  • Anja – Pretending to be certain.
  • Head – Thinking about things that don’t matter.

If you decide to have your chart done, please share your energy type and your take on what Human Design revealed about you.

Public Again

Hello everyone. This blog is public again. I will be editing it and perusing it for my own remembering. I do not plan to change the layout but will be editing the categories and making some of the posts private. I have a long way to go, but just giving you all a heads up on that in case you see a post one day and it is gone the next.

Since I have entered into a new phase of my spiritual journey, I am not sure at this time whether I will continue to use this blog. My experiences are so varied, so complex and difficult to categorize, that I am struggling to determine the best way to share them with others. I want my experiences to be available and easily referenced.

If you are new to this blog and have yet to look around, I suggest you start at the beginning, 2014, and work your way up to the present. The majority of the material you will find here is in the form of astral travel/OBE, dreams/dream interpretation, and other mystical experiences. Many of my OBEs and lucid dreams are spirit guided as are my mystical experiences. I meet up with my guides frequently in the in-between (trance ie. the boundary between sleep and wakefulness), thus the name of the blog. 🙂

If you have any questions or comments, please feel free to post them as a comment or shoot me an email. The contact form is located in the menu, upper left side of the blog.  If you have suggestions on how to organize my older posts, I’m all ears. 🙂




Dream: Roller Coaster

Dream I found in my drafts folder from 14th, July, 2016.

Dream: Roller Coaster

I was with an adviser. He gave me a tall glass of what I assumed was juice. It was completely green, though. I drank it. The information was provided to me that I needed to continue juicing and that it would be a good idea to prepare my body for the incoming energies by increasing the amount of veggies in my diet. I was told I have not been eating near enough veggies.

The scene shifts and I am with my family at an amusement park. I don’t know what park as it was not familiar so I will say it was similar to Disney World.

I watched as my daughter was drawn to this ride because it has a princess character over the front of the entrance. My husband was all excited and got all three kids into the coaster car with him. He then told me to get in, too. I did not feel like I had a choice.

There was no room for me. None. I sat in the middle squeezed between two of my children. The bar that comes down to secure everyone missed me. I had to hold on to the metal seat as the car began to move forward.

The roller coaster was suppose to be for little kids but the first thing I saw was this huge ramp up. It reminded me of the ride known as Greased Lightening from Astro World (now closed). We went quickly to the top of the ramp and then flew down backwards toward the other side where there was an identical ramp. In the dream I could feel the ride as if I were on it. The motion, the speed, everything. I wasn’t having fun, though. I was grabbing hold of the metal of the seat for dear life because I was not strapped in and knew we would be upside down more than once. Ahhh!


The roller coaster symbolizes frequent ups and downs in life. In this case they are caused by my family, particularly my husband. There is not security in this. I don’t fit in the car. The rail doesn’t secure me in the car. I could fall out at any moment. All these things cause me to think that some things in my life are or maybe will cause me to feel this way.