Kachina Dream and OBEs

I’m still sick. Yesterday I felt like I had taken a sleeping pill – sluggish and tired all day. This morning my eyes are watering and bloodshot on top of the wonderful congestion that never seems to end. Didn’t I just have this stupid cold? WTF?

On top of being sick all day yesterday, I couldn’t shake a feeling that something is about to happen. It was a “heads up” feeling but not one that makes my stomach sink or gets me nervous. My guidance has been mostly quiet, but then I’ve been shutting down their communication during the day because I am too sick to care what it is they have to say and I don’t trust my monkey mind right now. When I’m sick, the monkey mind (Ego) comes out to play more than ever and I really don’t want to chance it interfering with communication from my guidance.

Despite being sick still, my dreams were abundant and I got to go OOB this morning several times.

Dream: Kachina

I was with a group of people who were putting on a play (life roles) in an amphitheater (spreading of knowledge). I was standing in line with some others and felt distinctly like a student. In my hand I was holding a big, beautiful rose quartz crystal (wholeness). I was explaining to another student how I had drilled a hole through it and placed a candle wick in the center (unfulfilled). Yet it was most obviously a crystal, not a candle. The other student was sharing her creation with me as well but I can’t recall it now.

Outside everyone was preparing for the play. It was a beautiful day with a clear blue sky. I looked up at the bleachers (reflecting on goals), silver and shining in the sun, and saw several groups of people settling in their seats. There was no concession stand so the food and drinks were just sitting on the bleachers. People were taking stuff without paying so I stopped and handled the situation telling them everything was 50¢.

I never saw the play. Instead I went with a man in a truck (hard work) to another part of the island to search for something. I can’t recall what now but I remember seeing something blue. At some point in the dream I saw a woman dressed in a white (purity) gown in the cabin of the truck. The truck began to move on it’s own and she began to get concerned. Eventually the truck crashed (painful experience). I found the woman laying in a pile of thousands of smooth, white, shiny discs (wholeness). I went to her, cradling her in my arms, and told her she would be okay. I called her by name – Kachina. I told her I loved her and held her against me. She opened her eyes and looked at me. Relief rushed over me. She was alive! I began to cry.

In-Between

When I awoke I was crying and my nose was so clogged I couldn’t breathe. The image of the woman laying on the pile of white discs was vivid in my mind along with her name – Kachina. I had that feeling that something big was about to happen but wasn’t sure what. I figured it must have something to do with the Blue Kachina Hopi legend. I remembered I dreamed of it before, back in February of this year. Why was it coming up again?

I drifted into the in-between with questions in my mind and entered into a conversation with my guidance. I saw a white disc very vividly in my mind. It then fell from space into the atmosphere of earth. As it fell, it was burned by the atmosphere and glowed blue like a meteor. I wondered if the blue kachina was likely a capsule of some kind, perhaps a space ship landing on earth? I remember thinking the word “contact” and saying the name “Toba”, or at least I think it was a name.

I came out of the in-between with a start after I said the name Toba to my guide. I figured it must be his name but who knows and I was too sick and congested to care. Yet I knew it was significant so I repeated in my head in order to recall it later.

bolt

OBEs

The next thing I recall is being in a dimly lit house talking to my BIL and SIL about something. I realized I was OOB in the midst of talking to them and shut myself into a bedroom by closing both of the doors leading into it. The room was dimly lit and had blue undertones. I could sense both my physical body and my astral body at the same time. My physical body was struggling to breathe so I often shifted focus to it to adjust my breathing and then would return my focus to my astral body without losing lucidity.

I was talking with someone the entire time I was OOB. I never saw him but his responses were audible, though not enough to trigger me into waking up. I also felt distinctly male throughout this OBE. I also knew I was dark skinned.

At one point in the conversation I lost lucidity and returned to my body briefly. I could feel the vibrations and shifted immediately right back OOB without incident. However, my body was struggling to breathe, both nostrils clogged and causing major discomfort. I had to tend to this issue or I could not remain OOB. So I returned several times and adjusted the position of the body to compensate. What is amazing to me is that I did this shifting seamlessly and without ever losing contact with my astral self. I thought nothing of it at the time but looking back it amazes me!

When back OOB and while still standing in the bedroom I heard that I needed to replace something. I can’t recall the name now but it was some kind of machine that helped me adjust frequencies. It materialized in front of me. It was black or dark in color and looked like a sea urchin except that its spikes were very long like tentacles. It moved about on its own, its tentacles moving fluidly as if in water. It had a cord coming out of the top center of it that extended vertically up into the air above. I did not look for its source and the alien looking machine (or creature?) did not concern me one bit. In fact, I was completely at ease with it and happy to have it help with “adjustments”.

Now that I had this adjusting machine I opted to leave the bedroom via the ceiling. I succeeded without incident, flying right through the roof and out into the sky. Outside it was still dark. I noted it was not dark where my physical body was and knew I was elsewhere. I seemed not to care where I was, though. Instead I began to sing and fly, looking down on the city below. The conversation I was having with my guidance was flowing through the song I sang. I also heard music in the background. It reminded me of techno music.

I saw a building below that had rows of flowers of all colors surrounding it. I flew down toward it, knowing it was a church. There were people gathered in front of the doors. I wondered if they would see me so flew down and hovered in front of them. They smiled at me. Again I had the distinct feeling I was male and that I knew all of the people standing at the church.

I shifted back into my body quite suddenly and lingered a while, adjusting position again because I could not breathe. My nose was completely clogged and my lungs were screaming for air. While making adjustments I was talking with my guidance. I remember him giving me options on what to do. One option I recall is reviewing a life decision, specifically a relationship.

While we were talking I shifted back OOB to the church scene. This is when I chose to review a life decision. It felt as if I could change things about my life, like I could rewrite it. I said, “I loved her the minute I saw her.” I flew down toward a dark skinned woman but her appearance shifted from a woman into a man. I think this was because I recalled being a woman in this lifetime. I stood in front of the man and put my hands on either side of his face and then kissed him. He kissed back. Then I flew back up and my guidance asked if I would change anything. I said, “No. I loved him from the moment I saw him.” When I said this an image of a lightening bolt appeared on my left forearm.

Once again I was pulled back into my physical body because of breathing issues. I ended up having to cough and this brought me fully back into my body. Then I heard my son pounding on the door and knew I had to get up.

 

OBE: Military Moon Base

I woke at 3:30am wide awake from a very lucid dream I won’t go into in this post. It took me until 5:15am to return to sleep.

Lucid Dream: Assignment

I found myself inside an elementary classroom. Children were arriving and I was very obviously filling in for the regular teacher. Her teaching assistant was there and handled most everything. There was a young autistic girl who was my primary focus. I struggled to stay awake, feeling very tired and sluggish and laying my head on the desk of the autistic girl.

When the assistant came to talk to me she said I had been “reassigned”. I said, “No I haven’t. I worked here as a counselor but that job ended on Friday. I don’t even remember signing up to do this.” In my mind I could see a calendar and “Monday” was shown as the present day. There was knowing here that the regular teacher had asked me to fill in for her and that she may be gone for a while.

We looked at the instructions left behind for me and I saw that the autistic girl would be sent to another classroom. I also saw it was time to do a Spelling test. I let the assistant do it as I was still very tired. So tired that my eyes kept closing and my body felt heavy.

I remember hearing a keyboard playing and said something to the student. The student had dark brown, almost black hair and had a tiny keyboard his lap. He grinned at me saying asking me, “Don’t you like the music?” I saw that behind him there was a TV with a cartoon on it. I kept focusing on it. Something about it peaked my lucidity and I realized I could go OOB.

OBE: Military Moon Base

Upon recognizing my OOB state I felt my entire body lighten. All the heaviness I had been feeling seemed to melt instantly away. I went up to the TV and touched the screen. It was solid. I turned to the door and opened it. When I did this I saw a scene begin to materialize. I knew it was my mom’s house but didn’t want to go there. Knowing I could choose where I went, I said aloud to my guidance, “Take me where I need to go.”

My vision blacked out. I was reminded that I decided where I would go. So I thought, “Fall” – as in downward motion. I felt myself begin to rapidly fall as if I had just jumped off a building. I enjoyed the sensation as I sped up, fast and faster. Then I repeated, “Take me where I need to go.” The downward motion stopped and I began to rise rapidly with increasing speed.

I received communication during this time asking me to be more specific about what I wanted and reminding me that I chose my destination. I finally said, “Show me what I need to see.”

My vision came on and I saw that I was very high up in space somewhere. Below me large sections of color were rapidly flying by me. The colors were in different geometric shapes – octagon, hexagon, heptagon, etc. I saw the colors flash in rapid succession – yellow, red, blue, orange, purple, green, violet, indigo – all the colors of the chakras. They almost appeared like a runway below me. I was the one moving, not them, and I was traveling so fast that they looked like they were blinking at me.

I repeated, “Show me what I need to see.” This slowed my movement and the colors and shapes also slowed. Then I was flying over what was very obviously some kind of military installation but the vehicles and technology were far beyond Earth’s. I saw a dome-shaped, yellow vehicle flying close to the ground. It was the size of a tank and the top was covered in points, as if it was a geometric shape in and of itself. As I looked closer I saw a large building and many smaller buildings. All dark in color and seemingly made of metal. There were automated vehicles traveling all around. Some small, some large, some looking like transport vehicles and others looking like robot-type creatures. The sky above was dark as if it was night and the ground was covered in paving material of some kind.

I began to wonder where I was and so searched for signs of life. I saw what appeared to be a robot walking below me. It was all black in color and walked stiffly. Flying down, I stopped in front of it thinking, “I wonder what he will look like?” When I saw him he had a human face and was wearing some kind of stiff, black suit that covered every inch of him except his face. He had large boots on as well. I somehow knew they were magnetic and the reason for his stiff walk. I hovered near him saying, “Hi! What year is it?” He paused and replied, “20-something. I can’t remember.” I realized I was somewhere that did not observe Earth time. I heard something about “moon base” and “quadrant B”.

Another man approached but I never saw him. Instead I became acutely aware of my physical body’s breathing. My breathing was labored and slow, my lungs practically screaming for more air. I woke up and gained control of my breathing but fell right back into the in-between.

cat

Lucid Dream – Adopting a Cat

I recall feeling a lightening bolt of energy shoot into my heart chakra from the left. I also had crystal clear visions of places I’d never been come into my mind only to vanish just as quickly. My body felt very foreign to me and my breathing continued to be labored. My breathing was very erratic, shallow and painfully slow. It felt like I was taking my last breaths. Oddly, I seemed not to care if I stopped breathing.

The next thing I knew I was inside a house hovering over the living room. A friend gave me a calico cat to take care of. She was beautiful and I remember saying, “She seems to still be very young” as I watched her stalking some prey only she could see. I messed with her, making her jump and hiss and saying, “I suppose I can keep her. I hope she doesn’t claw up my leather sofa.” My usual thoughts about cats are that they are better off with someone else. Yet in this dream experience I was thinking it would be nice to have a cat as a pet. I had a genuine love and adoration for her.

My breathing began to distract me in this part. It was super slow and my lungs were screaming at me to wake up and resolve the situation. What is odd is that I still didn’t care. I had no interest in attending to my physical body nor did I feel it was in any danger. Yet the feeling of it is very memorable even now. It felt like I would stop breathing completely and then gasp for air when my body realized it was starved of oxygen. It reminds me now of how my grandmother was breathing in the last day of her life. It was painful to watch.

I finally came back to my body. I was laying on my right side in a fetal position. Even in my body my breathing was labored and my lungs were hurting. I took slow deep breaths for some time but my energy was erratic and I could not get enough oxygen into my lungs to satisfy my body.

Yet I was still unconcerned.

Messages

I rolled onto my back and this seemed to help and my breathing finally leveled out. I entered into the in-between where messages began to pour in. At this time I remember being another version of myself talking to the current version and giving instructions. I can’t recall those instructions now but do recall hearing, “Prime Directive.”

Then I recall hearing a couple of songs. One was All I Need is a Miracle and the other was Paradise Cityspecifically the part “take me home.”

With the songs going through my head I recall getting a warning. I saw an image of a chocolate heart in my mind. I was told to keep it safe – specifically “Mind your heart.” Then I saw a melting heart and knew it represented what happens when one gets overly obsessed with someone. After that I saw a frozen, brittle heart and saw it break into pieces. I knew this is what happened when one neglected their heart and didn’t let emotion into it.

Very busy and eventful night.

Dream or Reality?

I experienced another purging episode last night around 6pm. It was another bad one. I would recover briefly only to be overcome by it again. It seemed to come in waves and though I pleaded with my guidance for it to stop, it didn’t. Eventually, in my quest to stop the overwhelming emotion, a thought came to me that I should do some yoga. With the thought my third eye, throat and heart lit up with energy.

I went directly upstairs and did some yoga for about a half hour. In the beginning the emotion came on strong but by the end it was gone and I felt normal albeit exhausted. My heart was on fire most of the time as it was also when hit with the emotion. The only way to describe the feeling is to say my heart is aching – literally.

In recalling how I felt last night a memory surfaced of a similar feeling I once had way back in May, 2015. It was preceded by an amazing OBE where I met up with my Council and family in Spirit. The afternoon after this OBE, however, I was nearly debilitated by a surge of emotion and grief. It hit my heart center and felt exactly like the ache in my heart I felt last night. The grief felt on this day in 2015 was for the loss of a family member in Spirit, a close family member and one who I loved dearly. She had killed herself, exiting her life prematurely, and the after-effects were felt by each of us like a ripple effect through us all. It was such a strange experience back then for me to feel such overwhelming love for a woman I never knew in the physical. And then to have it knock me to my knees to the point of non-functionality was a surprise indeed!

Being that how I have been feeling for – jeez months now? – is nearly identical to how I felt in May, 2015, it has me wondering some things. Am I grieving my family in Spirit? Is the grief coming from my resistance to a “call” to join them? Or is it just grief for being separated from them? And if it is either of those, what does it even mean? Will I be feeling like this until I answer the “call” and reunite with them? How the hell am I suppose to live like this? It is like a living death when the pain and grief hits me and so far it has been a nightly/daily occurrence.

Dream or Reality?

This morning a strange thing happened. I had awakened with absolutely no memory of dreams or experiences in dreamtime. I was just laying there dozing when I suddenly recalled something I had done. The memory was of being in a room with at least a half dozen men. They were standing in line at the foot of a bed I was laying on. My job was to have sex with each of them, one by one. I remember doing this happily and allowing them to treat me as a sex object. I even remember some of what they said and what I said, all of very degrading. They had no shame and neither did I. In fact, I felt completely at ease in my role, as if it was an accepted part of the life I chose. There was absolutely no rejection of any part of it.

When I recognized the memory it was real to me. I knew I had done this. In fact, it felt like I had been doing it my entire life. Confused and shocked by the memory and how at-ease I was at who I was and what I did, I went into a mild panic searching for answers to this strange and very real memory. Was it a dream? Yeah, it had to be a dream! I am not that woman. I am not a prostitute.

Somehow I settled down, convinced it must have been an OBE or dream I had somehow forgotten. Within moments I recalled another incident. Again, very real. So much so that I had no doubt I was the person in the memory because I felt what she felt and recalled details no dream would offer. In the memory I was with my lover in the midst of love making. The feelings of love were amazing. I have not felt such love with a partner in this lifetime. It was like pure connection – body, mind, spirit. I remember his blue shirt and the bedroom, the tiny twin sized bed, the large window, the curtains all lace with tiny purple flowers, the carpeting. Everything. I remember recognizing that I felt absolutely no shame or guilt in being with him despite being married to another man. I remember him, too, though all I recall now is his smell, the feel of his arms around me and his dark hair.

The moment I had this memory I “woke up” and my vision was filled with hypnagogic imagery. Tiny, honey bees in a geometric pattern that moved from the center outward. There was a sudden shot to my heart coming from the left and a strange vibrating sensation in my entire upper body that emanated from my heart. The feeling in my heart surprised me and a shock of adrenaline coursed through me.

Yet I had not been asleep, had I? Where had I been? Was I in a trance? I don’t remember sleeping. I remember being awake. The memory of being with the man in blue was there but it had happened. I was certain it was real…wasn’t it?

Super confused I lay there contemplating it. What were these memories? Alternate timelines? Lives I lived simultaneously with this one? Projections? Other people’s memories? WTF?! lol

I must have drifted into the in-between because the next thing I recall is feeling someone, a man, touch my forehead right where my third eye is located. He said, “BE” when he touched it. Then he touched my chin and said, “LIVE”. I could see him smiling. He was shiny. Golden. He had a mischievous look in his eyes, too. What he said sounded like “Be-lieve” but at the same time it was also “BE” and “LIVE”.

I came back to myself when I felt a lightening bolt of energy shoot into my heart space from the left. Again I felt the vibrations and saw hypnagogic imagery. Again there was a rush of adrenaline.  I felt a distinct rush of fear, but of what? It didn’t make sense.

I thought, “That’s it. I am getting out of bed.” lol

This song has been in my mind for two days now:

 

 

 

OBE: Meeting the Marlboro Man

Feeling somewhat more myself today after two days of emotional purging. The feeling didn’t level out until yesterday afternoon. I’m sure there’s an astrological explanation but I’ve not searched for one. I’m just happy to feel more balanced.

Prior to bed, feeling a bit worse for wear, I requested a reprieve. I said, “A lucid dream or OBE would be nice, please.” Anything’s better than waking up crying IMO. I heard from my Companion, “I will come to you.” I told him, “That’s what you said last night and you were a no-show. I don’t believe you.” I don’t know if he showed up, actually, I forgot most of my dreams upon waking, but he can affect that and he knows it. He repeated that I would be seeing him. I said, “We’ll see.”

Dream: Christmas Wedding

This dream took up most of the night and even after I woke at 5am it continued once I fell asleep. I’m not going to go into too much detail but will share the important points.

I was in a church (seeking guidance) most of the dream alongside a group of family who I didn’t recognize but accepted. We were discussing my upcoming wedding (transitions) and the details of it. Thing is, I had not planned in advance and was down to three weeks before the date was set.  I had not picked out my dress, the bridesmaid’s dresses or even ordered the invitations. Yet I was meeting with everyone discussing and practicing the ceremony. I recall most vividly the woman who I was speaking with and the priest (guidance) who seemed to be the one in charge.

The part that most stands out to me is looking at a calendar and choosing the date of the ceremony. I said, “Why don’t we make it on Friday?” I pointed to it on the calendar and someone said, “The 17th? That sounds good.” Yet in 2017 the 17th falls on a Sunday. I became somewhat lucid, remembering I was already married and it confused me. There was discussion about eloping and avoiding all the planning and guests.

I woke up then and was upset mostly because the dream seemed to indicate to me that the Union of masculine and feminine that I had been told to expect this summer would be in December. This is in fact the second dream indicating December, 2017, is significant. It did not make me happy to know I had six more months to wait. I prefer the three weeks like in the dream!

The second half of the dream I took it over and so it was about my current marriage (entering new phase) and vow renewal became the topic and the date shifted to April 21st which is the day we met 10 years ago.

virus

OBE: Computer Virus

I woke briefly, still in a sour mood over the dreams, and requested to go OOB. The next thing I recall is sitting at a desk in a darkened room. In front of me was a computer screen. Around me were many other people, most in the shadows. I knew I was dreaming and took control almost immediately. My computer screen flickered and adware popped up, freezing the screen. It was some kind of virus (feeling out of control). I had to shut down the computer. I then turned to the man sitting next to me, warning him about the virus. I recognized him as an ex-classmate. He had a laptop and it also had the adware on it but the game was playing and locked his keyboard. I told him to shut it down (resolve the problem), which he did, and we talked a bit. The only thing I remember saying is that my desktop was 10 years old and was faster than his laptop. lol

I looked around and saw the room was full of people. I felt very cheerful and curious and went up to people, tapping them to get them to turn around so I could see them. Eventually I came to a woman who I thought I recognized. I asked her, “Are you related to the Skero family?” She thought on it and said she might be. I told her I had a classmate named Michelle. We talked a while and I was sure I knew her. Since the woman was at the computer I turned and saw the same adware on the screen. The image began to flicker and my last memories are of feeling sucked up into the screen. I must have stared at it too long.

OBE: Meeting Linda

I briefly felt a shift back to my body and within moments shifted back OOB. I was back in the darkened computer room next to the woman who I felt so familiar with. I ventured out of the room and found myself standing in my mother’s living/kitchen area. The lights were on and golden and the room was full of children (looking to satisfy hopes/desires) of all ages playing and seeming to be having a party. A group was gathered by the front door in front of a large T.V. and another group was to my right. It was noisy but the ambiance was golden and full of laughter. I could see some adults to my left observing the scene. I believe there were three and though they were older they appeared to be in their teens or twenties.

My friend was standing to my right and I turned to her. We both seemed very short for some reason. I could see her brown hair and her face. She was smiling and at ease. I turned to her and in fully recognizing her as one of my guides I hugged her and said, “I remember your name now. Melinda. It’s Melinda.” With a short laugh she said, “Yes. Me-Linda but I go by Linda.” I briefly remembered other encounters with her, other OBEs and experiences in this body where she had been present. It was a surreal feeling and it disoriented me to think of this body/life and I was pulled back into my body.

mm

OBE: Meeting the Marlboro Man

I felt firmly back in my body and was talking to someone. I don’t recall what was said but at some point I realized I had not fully returned to the physical. With this realization I simply stepped out of my body and into the brightly lit living room I had been in previously. There was barely a noticeable shift in doing this and I briefly thought I had been mistaken and was awake.

The room was once again very brightly lit. I don’t think I have ever seen so much light in my mom’s living/kitchen area. Children were everywhere and the colors they wore seemed to explode in my vision like fireworks – red, orange, white, yellow, purple, blue. Mostly there was red and yellow. In considering it now I am not sure the colors were from their clothing, either. I think I was seeing their Light.

They were all gathered to my right in front of a large screen. A young girl had made a video and everyone was watching it, proud of her accomplishment. I walked into the center of the room and looked at the screen. I could see images on it but heard/felt I should not focus on the screen. So, I continued to the door and put my hand on it. I asked, “Can I go outside?” I felt it was okay and with that the door vanished and I was standing outside.

It was bright outside but the sky was overcast. I felt elated to be standing there even though it was my mom’s front yard, a place I find myself frequently when OOB. I felt the sensation of snow hitting my arms and looked up. It was snowing! I was super excited about it, but then in Texas it rarely snows. lol I remember saying aloud, “It’s snowing!!” I let it hit my bare arms and looked around as it dusted the ground and then melted (releasing repressed emotions) just as quickly. In front of me, barring my path, were structures made of lumber (need for a fresh start). When I saw them I thought, “Christmas trees” (familial relationships) and felt my mom had put them there. In my memory I still see them but they looked like the frames of pyramids (change will occur over short time), each of them a few feet taller than me. They had no lights or ornaments so I’m not sure why I thought them Christmas trees.

I wandered to my left and saw the ground was flooded (emotional issues/tension), the standing water moving like a small river. It was clear (clear emotions) and I walked into it. I felt the cold on my bare feet (self-identity) and laughed, kicking and splashing water. It was no deeper than my ankles. I continued and found more standing water, each pool flowing into the next. The whole yard was flooded it seemed.

I looked up and asked if I could fly. I heard/felt it would be okay so I lifted myself up into the sky and took off. I stopped and soared over the swollen ground. I was high enough to see the entire landscape and it no longer resembled my mother’s place. I could see a vast, shallow lake formed by the flood surrounded by coniferous forest. The water was crystal clear. I noticed a small child (inner child perhaps?) curled up on a tiny piece of land in the center. I wanted to turn back but knew not to and so continued on.

While I was flying I could sense I was not alone but I could see no one. I had a thought that if I wanted they would show themselves. In my mind I was even conversing with them, but I can’t recall what I said now. I had turned back and was hovering in the sky feeling weightless and focusing on the energy with me. I don’t know why but I knew there was a rope (safety line?) being thrown to me. I reached into the empty sky and sure enough I felt a rope there. I grabbed hold of it. I was laughing and full of joy. I felt so free of all worry and the heaviness of life. I could have stayed there forever.

Within moments of grabbing onto the rope I felt I would soon meet whoever was with me. I dared him to grab/hug me. And with that I felt him embrace me from behind. He said, “Here I am” in a deep voice. I laughed out loud and fell into the embrace. No fear or concern. Pure trust.

My vision blacked for a brief moment, or maybe I closed my eyes while relishing the feeling of the embrace. When I opened my eyes I was standing face-to-face with my Companion. We were standing under and against a huge oak tree (wisdom and prosperity). His arms were wrapped around my waist and my hands were resting on his shoulders. We were very close, only inches separated us.

I said, “I knew you were there all along!” He laughed and I took a really good look at his face. I could see all the fine lines and details of it. He did not look like I had ever remembered seeing him, though, yet at the same time he was familiar. His hair was brown as were his eyes and he had a bushy, brown mustache. I reached up and touched his cheek and traced his lips with my finger. I gently parted his lips to see his teeth, though I’m not sure why. He opened his mouth a bit and I even saw his tongue which looked to be speckled with little black specks that reminded me of pepper.

I tried to memorize his features as best I could but was distracted by a distinct smell. It was the smell of alcohol. I looked at him and said, “Did you use to drink?” In considering this now, I think the alcohol smell is a message to me that I’m trying to escape certain issues rather than confront them.

I don’t remember his reply, but I know he replied because I remember the timbre of his voice. It was deep and familiar. Just hearing it brought a feeling of satisfaction. I wish, wish, wish I could have recorded it.

I came back to my body flooded with memories of the first time I saw Steven (my Companion) in my mind’s eye. He presented himself to me as a cowboy with a mustache riding a horse. I use to call him the Marlboro Man jokingly because that is what he looked like in my mind. In this OBE meeting he looked exactly like that! Ha!

I also heard a song and remember that it was in the background of the OBE while I was flying. Why I didn’t notice it at the time, I don’t know, but the melody followed me back to my body along with the words, “By the look in my eyes….” I asked my husband if he knew the song and it didn’t take him long to figure it out and play it for me.

You should’ve seen by the look in my eyes, baby
There was somethin missing
You should’ve known by the tone of my voice, maybe
But you didn’t listen
You played dead
But you never bled
Instead you lay still in the grass
All coiled up and hissin
And though I know all about those men
Still I don’t remember
Cause it was us baby, way before then
And we’re still together
And I meant, every word I said
When I said that I love you I meant
That I love you forever

When I read the lyrics I laughed because the woman he’s talking about does sound like me – playing “dead”, not listening, “all coiled up and hissin'”. I’ve been dealing with lots of anger and when I’m angry I can get resentful/vengeful. Not pleasant but thankfully I have learned to control that reaction. The anger is the result of not confronting the real emotion underneath. Thus, all the grief I’ve been dealing with lately.

Funny how I always get these old songs from my Companion. This one was released in 1980-81. I was just four or five years old back then.

 

Dream Meeting and 2 OBEs

Yesterday I was hit once again with emotional and physical purging. I didn’t start feeling better until evening. This morning I feel much more like myself. No crying upon waking. In fact, the opposite. A smile in response to a nice OBE.

Dream: Music Discussion

I had a very long dream discussion with a friend. It began with me taking a job as a teaching assistant at an elementary school. I remember little about this part but I do recall that the school had been flooded but the water had receded in the room I was in. I also recall my pay was $8.20/hr.

A man came into the classroom at one point and began talking to me and asking me questions. He was studying music and wanted to know about my music background. We talked about the classes he would need to take and what was involved. I told him I only got a minor in music and went on and on about my school experiences with it. He asked me what instrument I played and I told him, “I don’t. I sing.” We did briefly discuss my playing the saxophone in high school, though. Then I went into detail about my upbringing, my mom, our musical family, and my love of singing. He told me he was looking into music’s applications in spirituality and consciousness expansion which was fascinating to me as well. We discussed brainwave frequencies and their proven effectiveness at shifting a person into the theta and delta brain-wave states. This was his main focus and the discussion seemed to go in this direction for a while but I can’t recall it.

The entire time the man kept sending me a feeling that he wanted to get to know me more intimately.  At first I just kept my distance but it didn’t keep him away. He began to invade my personal space. I kept looking at him to try and figure out who he was. He looked familiar but I could not get a good look because his face was shifty. I only saw his dark hair. At one point he looked deeply into my eyes and said, “Your eyes are SO blue.” I looked back into his brown eyes and thought, “Your eyes are so brown.” lol I never said it aloud, though. Eventually, he got so close that by the end of our conversation we were laying next to each other, his legs and mine intertwined. I remember feeling odd and uncomfortable about the situation but not fighting it.

Messages

When I woke up I knew who the man was and was surprised I recalled so much of our conversation. I asked my guidance about it and shifted into the in-between. I remember seeing and hearing a phone number: 555-666-7777. I also remember hearing, “Three weeks.” There was some sudden Knowing mixed in here, too.

OBE: Open Window

At some point while in the in-between and conversing with my Companion I realized that I could exit my body. I am not sure what triggered my awareness but it was instantaneous. There is a brief feeling of being fully awake that precedes this and a confusion from it because my surroundings were not right.

I move away from my body as soon as I know I am OOB. I do not feel any sensation of exit because I am in a fully lucid experience. I assume I exited a some point after entering the in-between. Immediately I feel super happy. The room is very brightly lit and I recognize it as my old bedroom at my mother’s house. I head toward the window but feel my energy lagging. It feels like my energy is surging but unbalanced and I recognize this. I say aloud, “I am not my body.” I’m not sure why I say this but it helps and I grab onto the window to slide it open worrying briefly that it will be locked. To my delight it opens easily and I poke my head through the opening and take it the brilliant blue sky and greenery of outside.

I am still talking to my Companion the entire time I am OOB. I am super excited and saying, “Look! I did it! I am out of my body!” I laugh at this because it is not a big deal, I do it all the time, but for some reason I felt super accomplished and wanted to share this with him. I don’t see my Companion, though, I just feel his presence.

As I attempt to crawl through the window I have an energy surge and recognize that afterward I am liable to be sucked back into my body. I request clarity and remind myself not to over exert myself because I am still too close to my body. Unfortunately, when I lift myself up into the window a surge of energy hits me and I suddenly feel extremely heavy and cumbersome. I am sucked back into my body before I have a chance to stabilize.

In-Between

I enter into the in-between for a little while after I return to my body. There is a brief memory of seeing that the sun is still not up. I sit up and look at my bedroom window to check. Whether this is a physical memory or an OOB one, I am unsure.

The conversation with my Companion continues while I am in the in-between. We are talking about my current situation, the “preparation” I have been doing and the feelings that I am sorting through. I can’t make sense of the feelings I am having as they don’t seem to apply to me. I request to be balanced and happy again, like I was just a few weeks ago. I tell him I am tired of the sickness and purging. There is profound understanding and clarity during this time. I wish I could remember all that we talked about but it was not in words but in feelings.

There was a flash of 1111 during this time and I remember being told, “You are right on schedule” and me saying, “Really?” Then I recall being given a black jacket that resembled a tight-fitting sweater. I was told, “Wear it. You need protection.” I put it on without hesitation and did not seem to recognize the message for what it was.

OBE: Kisses

At some point I recognize I am still OOB. When I do, I look around me and recognize my old bedroom. What is odd is that my current bed is in the room, too. It’s like the two realities – past and present – are superimposed. I even see both sets of windows. Everything is dark and shifty, though, meaning my mental vision predominates not that I am in the etheric. I have no energy issues this time and feel wonderful and balanced.

I am standing at the foot of my current bed in the space near the foot of my old bed. In front of me is a man. He is taller than me, my head reaches just below his chin. He has brown hair and eyes. When I see him I am elated and wrap my arms around him. He hugs me back and then keeps me close, hands on my waist. I look up at him and take a good look. He looks vaguely familiar but I can’t place him. Is he wearing glasses? I see a glimmer of metal rimmed glasses I think but then they disappear.

What he looks like doesn’t matter, though. It is how he feels that tells me I know him. I say to him, “Hey you!” He looks at me and says, “Hey” and smiles warmly. I am so terribly excited that I grab his face and pull it toward me and kiss him. He kisses back and we kiss each other for a while. It’s not a make-out session but the kisses are passionate and eager, like we haven’t seen each other in a while. I can feel everything about it – him holding me, his warmth, his lips, the love, the friendship. It is so real I am surprised I didn’t wake up!

He turns his face away from mine and interrupts our kisses. I want to keep kissing and feel a bit out of breath. I don’t feel any arousal but there is that desperate wanting for more feeling lingering.

Meanwhile he is focusing on my left arm. He gently slides his right hand down from the elbow and interlaces his right hand into my left. He holds it there and I feel he does this purposefully. I am grateful because my heart chakra is starting to stir along with all the lower chakras. It is slight but there. I look up at him still trying to figure out who he is because I keep feeling like he is my husband but he doesn’t look anything like him. I ask him, “Are you_____ or ______?” He smiles and says, “You know who I am.”

When he said that to me I became very aware and came back to my body. My heart was warm in my chest by this time and my root had a slight swirl of energy. The warmth remained in my heart for a while after waking. Since I have not felt that kind of warmth in my chest for a while (not the heart fire but the bliss), I was pleased. What a nice gift. SO much better than waking up in tears.

 

 

 

 

 

Bird in a Cage

Yesterday I gave the cockatiel away to an older lady with two other birds, a female conure named “Red” and a female cockatiel named “Free-bird”. The decision was made when my daughter lost interest in him and I ended up being the full-time caregiver for a bird that needed as much attention and care as a toddler. I recognized pretty quickly that I did not have the time/energy/stamina for him and that my 3-yr-old was going to compete for my attention every time I tried to interact with the bird (yes, funny I know!). Plus, I was sick most of the time the bird was in my home making it that much more difficult to care for him. FYI – My stomach condition is gone today. Yay!

Part of me misses the bird but then I know it was the right decision. I do not like the idea of keeping a bird or any animal in a cage. He will be much happier with other birds around him and someone who can be with him full-time. The woman who now owns him is widowed, older (60’s probably), doesn’t work and dotes on her other two birds. They are like her children. When she took him I could tell she was already falling in love with him and he was quite happy to be with her, too.

Blanket of Disconnection

Prior to going to bed I had a strange feeling descend over me like a blanket. It was a familiar feeling, too. When fully encapsulated in this feeling it was as if my entire life was not real. Like I was in the movie that is my life but not a part of it. The disconnect was strong. My initial reaction was a brief panic but my Companion sent a calming energy and a reminder that all was okay and to allow the feeling and experience. Instantly I surrendered to the calm and the panic vanished but the disconnect remained.

With the feeling came a familiar R.E.M. song – “It’s the end of the world as we know it.” At the same time I began to think about death and what occurs after it. The show LOST came to mind, specifically the finale and how when each of them died they found someone from their life and reunited, but it was not all at once. Instead it was like they entered another lifetime altogether and slowly came to awareness of the life they just left behind. I began to over analyze for a moment, considering experience to be similar to that LOST finale but it began to overwhelm me. It all felt very surreal and with the song and thoughts coming together I briefly wondered, “Is the world  ending or is it just beginning?” I felt a bit like I was tripping right then and it was difficult to locate reality. You can imagine how I might have felt, why I panicked. But the calm relinquished the panic and it was as if it were all real and normal. All a part of the moment.

As the experienced faded and this reality dominated, a song came to mind. “In a west end town in a dead end world. The east end boys and west end girls…” I had no idea why this song was coming to mind, though.

My Companion came through and I Knew more was coming. I said to him, “But I’m still sick.” He said, “Not for long.” The feeling followed me to bed along with a Knowing that I was to experience a big Shift soon.

Dream and Message: Bird in a Cage

Early in the night I had a vivid dream of a bird that kept going back to its cage despite being free to fly away in the wide open skies. I don’t remember much detail now, but when I woke this morning that dream is the only one that remained despite the many vivid dreams I had after it. Specifically, the dream was about the cockatiel I just gave away and his personality. There was a discussion about him and the dream images were a result of that discussion.

When I woke the previous day’s happenings rushed into my mind as if to remind me of the dream discussion I had just had. In the early afternoon a woman came to see the cockatiel. She was hopeful that it was her lost cockatiel who had been missing since October 2016. Unfortunately he wasn’t. But I expected that.

While she was at my house we talked about the cockatiel’s personality (the cockatiel I had, not hers). I told her what I had observed. He was people friendly, but not overly so. When we got him his cage he flew to it making happy noises. Once we got him inside he was reluctant to come out. We had to coax him out with treats or a mirror (he was obsessed with the mirror). Once out, he would fly but only to a human shoulder. I would also leave the cage open, hoping he would come out. I always knew when he would get out because he would start frantically crying. When I would check on him he would immediately fly to my shoulder in a panic and would only calm down if he got a mirror or his cage. I told her I believed his previous owner kept him in a cage most of the time with another bird. I think he was set free and not lost because he did not seem to want to fly far when he was let out. Also, his wings had never been clipped. He could fly far if he wanted, but he didn’t want to. She agreed.

Later, when the new owner came to visit we also talked about his personality. She mentioned that cockatiels could fly really far when their wings were not clipped, sometimes traveling up to 50 miles from home. She also told me that her other two birds also preferred to stay inside their cages and she never had to clip their wings. She had their cages located in her kitchen with open windows on three sides. She did not try to make them get out of their cages, but let them stay inside. She said some birds are more comfortable in their cages. I commented that her birds were likely happy to be in their “safe” homes while also getting to view the big wide world.

These memories flooded my mind and synced with my dream memory. Right then the cockatiel’s message to me was very clear. I was like him. I was a bird in a cage. The door was open. My wings were not clipped. I was being coaxed out with “treats” and a “mirror” but continued to retreat back to my “safe” place. The big-wide world was just too scary and my cage was familiar and predictable.

My thoughts were, “OMG you’ve got to be kidding me!” followed by obscenities.

I began to feel hopeless. Suddenly the path I chose, my cage or “safe” place, seemed pointless and without meaning or purpose. I began to ask my guidance, “Is this it? Is this all there is to life?” I have asked that question before and it led to many spiritual experiences and insight, yet here I was again asking it seemingly back to point A, no progress made.

Then I heard the song again – “In a West end town in a dead end world….” This time, though, I understood the message because a memory of an OBE I had a while back came to mind instantly. In the OBE I was trying to exit my bedroom via the closet door but I knew it was a closet. Symbols appeared on the door saying, “No Exit” and I received a message that the path I was choosing would only result in a “dead end”.

At the time I did not know for sure which path was the dead end. The one I assumed it was referring to was the one it turned out to be – choosing the familiar, the safe, the same path.

More obscenities.

I got upset then because I knew the only way out of a dead end was to turn around and go the other way. To leave my cage. Of course, my immediate response was to ask to go Home because what I see in front of me are two options: stay put (in my cage) or go out on my own (fly free). I have been practicing doing what makes me happy. It is obvious that staying in my cage is not making me happy but the fear of flying free is just too scary. A tiny bird all alone in the big-wide world. Terrifying. I want a third option – the opt-out. Not happening (insert more obscenities).

goat

OBE: Goats

The last thing I remember saying to my guides was, “I want out!” Oddly enough I ended up drifting into the in-between. While there I had a lucid experience where I returned to another time in my life, way back in my early twenties. I was married to my ex and he was into country music and being a “good ol’ boy”. He and I use to get dressed up in country attire, cowboy boots and all, and go dancing. I remember I looked really good, specifically in the blue jeans. In this lucid experience I put on those jeans, went to my bathroom and looked at myself in them. The lights were low so I could not see well but I did see that my butt looked really good. lol I squinted to look at the shirt I was wearing. It had something written on it. It started with a “p”. Was it “peace” or “piece”? Or was it “property” as in “Property” of some jail?

I returned to my bed and tried to put another pair of jeans over the old pair. Then I realized that was stupid and stopped. Next, I decided to take off the ones I was wearing because they felt uncomfortable.

Then I was acutely aware of laying in my bed, I heard goats calling to each other. There was a distinct energetic shift and I knew I could exit my body. I sat up, thinking I was at my grandparents house, and tried to roll out of bed to my right. I couldn’t, so I attempted to roll to my left. I was able to but pillows were stuck to my face. I stood up and began to walk to the door pulling the pillow from my face. I don’t know where I was going, I just wanted out.

Then I heard my daughter calling. I recognized that she was up preparing for school and right outside my door. While OOB I saw the light under the door right as I heard her. Then I was back in my body. I knew instantly that my asking to get “out” had resulted in me going OOB. I said to my guides, “That’s not what I meant!” LOL

Not long after I realized the goats I heard were reminding me of a message I got a long, long time ago in an OBE. A message that keeps coming back to me time and time again. Meaning I probably haven’t really gotten it fully. The message back then was, “The goat will bite you.” So I’m thinking, “WTF! What does it mean then! What am I missing!!???”

So I looked it up. Again.

When the goat ambles onto your path, it might be a signal to contemplate your power as an individual. Is it time to separate from the herd? Launch into an independent direction? Often times, the solitary path leads us to great discovery. Goats respect distance and space. They also encourage independent adventures and explorations of high vistas for the sole purpose of personal/individual knowing. ~Source.

If the goat represents this, then what does it biting me mean? Does it mean that this urge to break free, this curiosity for what is waiting for me beyond the safety of my cage, is pestering me to the point of annoyance? Probably.

As I ponder this I am reminded of a part of the dream discussion. In the discussion I remembered the woman saying she was going to put the birds in separate cages but right next to each other. Each bird in their own safe cage but close enough to another bird to feel connected to it. I knew this represented me and many others on Earth right now. We exist in our own little worlds. I remember saying I wanted to invite another into my cage, but it doesn’t work that way. We have to come out of our cages to be truly together.

 

 

A Glimpse Behind-the-Scenes

Yesterday a friend on FB posted a link to a video interview of Mary Reed, author of The Journey of an Unwitting Mystic. I have never read the book so watched the video because my friend and others were saying great things about her.

My reaction was positive. I enjoyed every minute of the interview, especially her accounts of being cradled in the arms of Jesus and reunited with Source and her experience of complete surrender after an attempted suicide attempt. I saw so many parallels to my own experiences but also recognized just how unique each and every one of us is when it comes to our spiritual journey.

After watching the video I asked my Companion if I could receive Knowing like Mary. I heard back, “Yes, of course. What do you want to Know?” I said, “I don’t know, whatever I need to know to help me understand my journey and mission here.” I received confirmation that my request would be granted. I thought no more about it.

Lucid Dream: Soul Retrieval

I slept well and woke at 5:30am from a string of dreams indicating that I was learning how to cross between dimensions, how to analyze the energy in order to detect when I could cross and what to expect when I did. At the time I didn’t understand that I was learning a lesson. Instead I was mulling over my dreams wondering what they meant and finding myself confused. All along this song chorus was repeating in my head, “You and me, we’re beautiful, beautiful. We all, we all we’re going to be alright.”

Somehow I drifted off to sleep. I ended up inside a large house. It was hard to see, like the lights were out, and I was with a woman and her husband. It was apparent to me that I had been awakened by them but I didn’t know why yet. They were rushing about readying for something and I recall feeling I needed to get ready for work. Then I noted the time. It was far too early to go to work, yet it felt like mid-morning for some reason. I followed the couple into their bedroom and waited there. I noticed the dresser drawers had safety pins on them instead of knobs. I inspected them closely, curious as to why this would be, and saw the knobs had come loose and the safety pins were the replacements. These were the largest safety pins I had ever seen! I accidentally broke one as I fiddled with it, too.

Then I was laying on the bedroom floor but at the same time I felt to be in my own bed. In hindsight I realize now that I was firmly anchored to my reality while venturing into someone else’s reality. A woman was next to me on the floor and her husband was in the bed to our right. For some reason I felt like the woman next to me was my ex-MIL, though I know this is not accurate.

Some conversation went on between the man and woman and then a chair seemed to throw itself across the bedroom into the dresser. The woman reacted as if it had happened before. Both the man and woman were distressed. I asked the woman some questions because I sensed another presence in the room, one that was very upset and filled with many conflicting emotions. The woman told me who she thought the earthbound Spirit was. I asked her to tell the woman in Spirit what she needed to tell her. The woman was shaking with fear and said, “She can’t hear me. I can’t talk to her.” I told her she could and hesitantly the woman whispered to me, “I’m sorry. It was an accident.”

Sensing the emotional turbulence building in the energy that composed the earthbound spirit, I said to the spirit, “She says she’s sorry. It was an accident. She’s sorry!” There came back such an energetic rebuttal that I knew I had my work cut out for me. I sensed fear from my right, my fear, but ignored it and seemed to know exactly what to do.

I sat up and began to address the spirit though I could not see her or anything in the room. Light Language began to pour out of me in song and word. The sounds were beautiful yet there is no way my physical body could have produced them. Two distinct sounds, one low and one high, came out of my mouth. Eventually I even heard more than two. I recognized this as I sang and was impressed but knew not to focus on it and just continue to sing to the woman in spirit.

As I sang the woman in spirit resisted. The energy seemed to build up like a wall in front of me. It felt as if the spirit was about to hurl a huge wave of nasty at me and the woman on the floor. The man in the bed said, “I can’t sleep with this noise, I’m leaving.” He got up and I felt him leave the room. The feeling from him was fear. I turned to the woman next to me and asked, “How long has it been?” The woman replied, “Nine years. I’m so sorry. It was an accident (still talking to me)” Then she retreated and left the room, too. She did not want to deal with any of the energy coming from the woman in spirit.

I just kept singing. With the focus of her upset gone, the spirit began to calm a bit and that is when everything she held in her energy came into me. I knew her story and why she felt the way she felt. Without being able to control any of it, the only thing I could do was sing as tears just rolled out of my eyes like rain.

I still couldn’t see her but her story told me why she was where she was. Somehow her death had been caused by the woman who had left the room. In her death the woman in spirit had been unable to get to her baby, who was still alive. She blamed the woman who caused her death for her inability to get to her baby. The emotion of this was turbulent – anger, confusion, desperation, love, grief, hatred, despair – all swirling around chaotically and all hitting me full on in my heart center.

Again, I felt this fear coming from my right. I knew it was mine but ignored it again, focusing on the Light Language. By this time I was using my hands and seeming to do some kind of energetic surgery on the space in front of me. I still couldn’t see the woman in spirit, though. It was just blackness and the emotional turbulence she carried.

soulMy guidance came through, then, because I was wondering how long this would last. I had been crying and singing Light Language the entire time yet the spirit seemed intent on clinging to her self-created reality. I heard, “She is leaving.” I looked to see if I could detect the spark of light that often accompanies this, but saw nothing. Instead I felt the ridge of energy lessen and then crumble down to reveal a very small, grief-filled energy behind.

Then I noticed I was holding two thin slips of paper in my hand. It just appeared out of thin air. I saw writing on it in two columns. Each column had one word. The words had been crossed out to the point that I could only read a few. I knew the paper had significance. I held it up to the spirit who I could still only sense, and began to tear in in pieces. I kept speaking in Light Language throughout.

She was listening to me so I stopped the Light Language and began to talk to her. She was asking me why – Why did it have to be this way? Why could this woman live while she had to die? Why, why, why. On and on. The most concise and well-worded explanation came out of my mind/mouth. I explained how duality works, how we each choose our experience, how it all works out in the end. I said it so perfectly. I wish I could remember my words but all that is left now is awe at myself. I once again sensed the doubt and fear off to my right but ignored it. The woman in spirit was listening and accepting what I said.

Then my focus was on the space in front of the dresser in the bedroom. I began to sing in Light Language again and knew I was mending tears in the energy of the space. It was like a jagged crack in the energy and I knew somehow this was done by the spirit. Like it was a doorway of some kind that needed to be closed. I literally sewed it up with Light Language. I saw the energy as threads of light crisscrossing back and forth across the opening until it was sealed. It was fascinating!

I continued to sing in Light Language. Tears continued to flow out of my eyes and I felt them also coming out of my physical eyes. Again I was acutely aware of being in two places at once. I knew somehow it was not time to leave yet. I had to stay, but I could sense my departure coming.

That is when I felt an energy to the right of my physical body. I turned toward it and recognized a small child, maybe 13 months old, standing over me. She was full of love and gratitude. I knew her message to me was, “Thank you!” I reached out and touched her and her body felt solid and soft, so real! I saw she was wearing a diaper and was fair skinned with fair hair. Just like my own children. The tears were streaming uncontrollably from my eyes. I could feel the wetness on my cheeks and noticed I could not breathe well. The love from this small child was overwhelming.

As the child departed I felt the timing was right to return to my body. As I left the other reality and entered into the in-between I was visited by a woman in spirit. She sent me, “Moira”, first. Then she said, “I love you. Thank you! I love you. I love you…” I came fully into my body while she sent this message, but I could sense her to my left up near the ceiling. Tears were still streaming out of my eyes. I knew this was the woman I had helped. She had made it and departed the lower astral and was ascending through the physical where she had stopped to tell me thank you. Wow.

GuardianAngelandBaby

Soul Retrieval Work

After she left and I was fully awake I could not control the tears. I was not sobbing or even feeling sorrowful, yet tears kept coming and coming. My pillow was soaked, my nose clogged. I had a headache. It was obvious I had been crying for a while.

I began to try and make sense of what I had just experienced. I wanted to know the full story but was advised that it was not necessary. I knew what I needed to and should not over-identify with the situation. I had done my job and now needed to release what I had taken on in order to help the woman. I had revealed her core wound by taking on some her her burden so that she could see it for herself. In doing so, I now needed to cleanse myself of it.

Eventually, I had to sit up because the tears were not stopping. I spoke in Light Language with the intent to finalize whatever I had done. After I did this, the tears finally stopped and I felt unburdened.

It was clear to me that my request from the night before had been granted. My Companion told me that I “work” every night and was allowed a glimpse of that work. He kept telling me, “We are proud of you.” At the time I didn’t care and eventually, after hearing it several times I told him, “I don’t care.” lol I was still over-identifying with the woman in spirit. As a mother, I understood her pain at losing her child so prematurely, even if it was her that died and not her child. The loss is the same.

For a time I had trouble grasping what I had just experienced. The perspectives of all parties were jumbled. Was it my ex-MIL? Her MIL? Me that was the perpetrator? It felt like all of them at once – confusing! Was the woman in spirit really me? Or was she elsewhere trapped and I came to assist? Why was it dark? Where was the light? Was I the light? Was it the lower astral realms where the spirit was trapped? That seemed likely…

Eventually I Knew that all of the experience, all perspectives, were me. It was just so obvious. To differentiate between her and me and them was a human tendency. The reality is that we are all One and the same. There is no separation. In that very lucid experience my perspective was all perspectives at once. That is why to try and make sense of it was not advised. No sense in human terms could be made of it.

The congratulations came again from my guidance. I heard, “Well done.” This time, I said, “Thank you.” I knew what they were referring to. It was that I ignored my fear, which I noticed several times, and stayed the course in order to complete the task at hand. I did not reject the emotions of the woman spirit despite how “scary” they appeared/felt. I embraced them, taking them on as my own so that she could see the truth and be set free by it. It was/is beautiful.

I felt this kind of work was better done from my position in a human body. I asked why. I received back that the lower realms where spirit becomes trapped are very dense, denser even than the realms of the living. Access from the “higher” realms is almost impossible. Those trapped there cannot see those coming from such a high vibration. However, when visiting from the realms of the living, the light carried via the human vessel is able to penetrate the lower realms, though even it takes time to be seen. It was apparent to me that the only way the woman in spirit would have ever seen me was for me to “lower” myself to her level by taking on her pain as my own. I had to be one with her first. My understanding is that it is easier to do this when occupying a physical body. It has something to do with being better able to handle the density of the emotion carried by earthbounds.

All of this is fascinating but at the same time very humbling. I feel deeply changed.