Dreams, Tears and Finality

Meant to post yesterday on 11/11 but had a rough start and then got distracted as the day progressed. Had many realizations hit me on the 10th and then that evening had some difficulties that I won’t speak of on here because I don’t feel as “safe” on WP to be fully open about some of my private life as I do on Blogger. I will post a more personal account on Blogger later today if I have time.

Just a note: I find it interesting that though WP is what everyone polled said they preferred, I find I get 1/3 or less of the page views here that I do on Blogger. I get likes and comments on WP, which is nice for the interaction and I wish I could get that on Blogger, too, but the stats say it all. For example, my last post on Blogger got 60 views the day it was posted. My last one here on WP got 10. HUGE difference. Not sure why the difference, though.

Tears, Dreams and Finality

Like I’ve mentioned previously, I’ve been so involved in the mundane that spiritual messages tend to come from synchronicities and the like and are much less direct than they have been in the past. I think I miss messages throughout my day and don’t consciously recognize them as such until later when suddenly I am in the Know and am hit with a realization. This is what happened on the 10th and then yesterday. It was just a Knowing as pieces of memories mixed with syncs kept bombarding me until I recognized the message.

The night of the 10th was rough and then when I woke I had been crying in my dreams again. Basically it all began with FB showing me memories and these memories were like the nail that sealed the coffin before burial – burial of a process, of me, of something that I don’t even have words for. As it is I have been struggling to find something – anything – to look forward to in my life so that I want to get out of bed in the morning. Lately I just want to stay in bed and dream because in my dreams the heavy feeling of life is gone and I feel free to be myself and experience joy and love in a very real way. Even if I end up in tears from my dreams it is better than when I experience them in waking reality. There is a deeper understanding and acceptance of the emotion than when I am awake.

My dreams the night of the 10th were a hodgepodge of strangeness. In them there seemed to be an attempt from my guidance to find something for me to look forward to, some goal or aspiration to keep me going a bit longer.

In one dream I was in a plastic surgery office considering a boob job (lol) and though it was appealing to me to further create on my body I rejected it because, well, it is just a body and will get old regardless of how much I try and stall the aging process.

In another dream I had been thrown into a pit completely naked (exposed). There was a woman/man with me and she/he was my friend. I was also both male and female. This other person was there to help and as I fell to the ground in tears she/he placed a blanket (warmth, security) over me and asked me to look at the exit behind us. It was a tunnel (brand new awareness) through the earth. She/he explained the tunnel was dug by me and meant for my escape.

Finally, in yet another dream, I was cleaning a bathroom (purification) that had layers and layers of dust (neglect) on it. There was an old computer (communication) that had fingerprints inside the monitor. There were also small figurines – toys – that I picked up and placed to the side. One was of am injured pony (playful aspect of self), another of a child (inner child), and yet another of a woman. The woman seemed to show relief as I united them all. I placed her carefully in the lap of another. I then saw the figure turn and look at me and then lean back with relief as she rested in the arms of the other. I remember thinking, “She is alive!”

Image result for image of galaxies

Dream: A Lifetime in Dreamtime

Last night’s dreams were unexpected, specifically one. In this dream I was inside what appeared to be a medical-like setting with many rooms and hallways laid out as if in a high-rise office building. I was in a room with a man alongside another man who was holding a pointer in his hand while he referred to several monitors/screens in front of us. The monitors were full of data about my life. It is hard to recall the specifics of the data now but I do know it was about my relationship with my husband and how it was designed to play out in a certain way. It irks me that I can’t remember it now! I was very matter-of-fact regarding this info and acknowledged my responsibility and part in everything even those things that normally I would refute.

The man with the pointer asked me some questions that I recall vividly. In one question he said, “Do you remember what your role is here?” I looked at my husband in the dream and said, “Hmmmm. I believe he is a PA (as physician assistant).” Then I laughed out loud and said, “That is fitting!” What is funny is my husband appeared to be anaten (unaware or unconscious). I watched as he walked into another room. He was wearing all white, doctor’s garb.

I was questioned again about my role. I said after some contemplation, “I am a geneticist.” Knowing this pleased me and I laughed with understanding. With continued prompting I remembered: “This is my life when I sleep…..and when I sleep here I go there (as in physicality).” Remembering this cued lucidity and a full-on Knowing came to me as if I had all along been asleep to finally awaken to a brand new day.

There was more discussion after this. Mostly I remember being in complete agreement to my two lives and knowing that both existed independently of the other. In one I was a scientist – geneticist specifically – studying the “human genome”. In another I was living a human life as an experiment of theory and varying hypotheses. My husband in this life was chosen as my partner in both settings, literally “assisting” me in my scientific studies. I saw where I went to enter into this physical lifetime – a small room with a bed that consisted pf a hard, white rectangular platform that came out of the wall when a button was pushed. When I laid down on the platform I would transfer to physical reality.

Eventually the discussion and growing lucidity woke me and I lay stunned in my bed feeling strangely surreal. It felt so real that my husband in this lifetime was merely a coworker in the other reality, one who I was working with to achieve a specific result. Memory hit me of a beautiful swirl of stars and galaxies as viewed through the domed glass of a craft of some sort. It was clear I had not been in an “office building” at all but on board a large ship.

Despite all of this memory my mind was not changed. I still did not want to continue with this physical reality, “experiment” or not, and requested it be concluded. The reply was that to leave physicality was not an exit at all but merely a transition to the other reality permanently for a certain period of time and then a continuation of the experiment. You can image my disappointment at hearing this. lol Yet I understood without question. There is no end to any one reality, just a shift to another one. It’s as normal as the blinking of an eye and the “time” between transition the same.

I fell into the in-between and back into the long, white hallways of the ship. While there I continued to talk with my “teacher” but my perception shifted to a point outside of myself. There I saw my human body morph and change into a more angular version that glowed a golden hue that did not hurt my eyes. I could not make out any particular facial or bodily characteristics because the golden glow was so intense. With this came a memory that all human characteristics of this other reality were superimposed over the appearances of myself and others there to ensure acceptance of and corroboration with the human mind’s capabilities.

Once again I awoke and requested the “experiment” be concluded. And once again I drifted off.

Image result for image of canariesVarious Other Dreams

I was inside a large school (learning) setting working with students who were younger than me but appeared my same age. One in particular was smitten with me and kept by my side. I took my students into a room and was shown a large nest of spiders. Inside the nest were baby spiders (new or recent relationship) mixed with red wasps (negativity). I advised them to “burn the entire room”.

We entered a building and upon entry I was warned by a colleague dressed in black robes to be mindful of my smitten student as I could easily mislead him. I understood straight away as I recognized my own tendency to “play” with his very masculine, human side. So, I disconnected from him to keep him safe understanding my role as teacher and it’s implications to a “young new mind”.

Then I went into a large auditorium (need to learn something) and awaited a presentation. I sat down at a row of seats and opened my notebook to take notes. Then flames (invest self in efforts) burst forth from between the seats and I had to move my robe (I was wearing a black robe like a professor) and batted out the fire with it. I listened as the presenter, an acclaimed gentleman who was the founder of some specific technology that would help mankind, list out four “graduates”. He said there were 6 more slots to be filled. My understanding was that these graduates were “Masters” and that there were few in attendance on Earth these days. It appeared the speaker was inviting those in attendance to fill the other 6 seats, like a challenge being presented. I felt uncomfortably out of place, like a total novice. A freshman in a room full of seniors.

Again the dream shifted. I was in a room where there was an over sized statue of Buddha (finding calmness and inner strength) laying on his said. It was a dark, reddish color and I reached down to touch it. It felt like jelly. I asked a question and the statue spoke to me saying, “Please keep it down. You are hurting my ears.” I whispered an apology in awe that the statue was talking. I understood the statue was there as my mentor.

I then shifted into a dream where I was walking the hallways of a very ancient school. I seemed to be taking a tour but was unsure of what I was looking for. I distinctly recall walking past an open cage with ten or twelve small, colorful canaries (happiness, harmony, new relationship) sitting atop it. I was wearing green garden gloves (how I handle things) and they flocked to my hand looking for food. Yet they could not fly (restriction). Once, when I turned back to show a young girl the birds, I saw the mother bird being attacked by another bird. She was huge compared to the babies, the size of a chicken (cowardliness) , and could not fly either. All of them were flightless and I was sad for them.




Dream and Odd Encounter

I was exhausted last night so went to bed at 8:30pm. I slept all the way until 6am and then lingered in bed until 7am. My sleep was deep until about 3:30am after which I slept lightly and had more lucidity.

When I woke at 3am I tried to remember my dreams. When I did, I experienced something odd. The dream images were outlined in a neon blue color. It was like they glowed blue. Every time I tried to recall a dream I saw this color and eventually the images contained strange symbols, or code, that were the same blue color.

Dream: Clarion

I was in my old bedroom at my mom’s house. Sitting across from me was a woman. She was telling me about her life experiences, specifically her spiritual awakening. She did this to give me advice about my current life challenges. I recall that she had come to visit me specifically to share her story and give me advice. I saw her as older than me, probably in her mid-50’s, but in trying to recall her appearance now I only remember her as having blonde hair and a nice smile.

I remember that she told me that she used her connection with her guidance sparingly, at most a few times a month. She described this connection as one not sought out by her but more of a Knowing that came to her via her intuition and caused her to enter into a receptive state when called upon by her guidance. When I heard this I understood that she was advising me to do this and to focus more on my physical life. She said it would come naturally to me and she knew that I knew this and had experienced it. I acknowledged her but was not eager to follow her advice because I feel more comfortable with Spirit than with people and life in this physical reality. She then mentioned that she knew I was Pleiadian. I told her, “Yes, I’m Lyran. From Lyra. I remembered that….” but I didn’t finish my sentence. Talking about it made me sad.


She then shared her own awakening experience with me. I saw this in pictures as I heard her words. She was a teenager when Spirit first came to her and it took a long time to adjust to the changes that resulted. She changed her name at that time. I asked her, “What is your name?” She said, “It’s Clarion. It’s my middle name.” I remember saying, “I wish I had been a teenager when it happened to me. I was 26.” Then I told her about my awakening experience, meeting my Companion and how I felt something was wrong with me because I had so much love for him that I literally fell in love with him in those first years after meeting him. I explained that meeting him in the astral state only reinforced my love and made it very hard for me to want to live in this reality.

She was very comforting at this time and said to me, “You’re lonely. You wish to be around others like yourself. Why don’t you?” I don’t remember what I said to her but I felt unable to do anything about my situation and was overcome with loneliness and sadness.

Then Clarion was leaving and invited me to come with her to go camping. I told her I was not interested in camping yet for some reason I ended up in a pick-up truck sitting between her and a Hispanic man on my right. The man was quite grumpy and told me to leave him alone. The feeling from him was that he didn’t want to go either. She drove and asked me if I knew how to get to a specific place. I told her I did and gave her instructions on what route to follow, telling her it only took 45-50 minutes. The place we were going was the place where I now work.

When we arrived we went into the school and found many children there. They were holding a camp there and there were camp counselors. I remember mentioning I did not want to stay the night but ended up doing so. The next thing I knew I woke in the morning and the camp counselors were waking everyone. I could see the boys and girls restrooms in front of me. A small child was next to me and I shared Clarion’s gummy bears with her. Then I went outside and watched the sun rise. A child said to me, “Look what I got!” He showed me a small bottle of beer. I said, “Where did you get that?” He said, “I found it.” I said, “Well you can keep it but don’t drink it here.” lol


There was a lot of background conversation between myself and Clarion. When I woke the feeling was that she was there to remind me that my spiritual experiences had a place in my life and to not forget them while at the same time to not forget my Earth mission. Her name seemed to be in reference to the “call” I have been told I will receive. There was much memory in the dream about my life and spiritual journey; how it unfolded and the purpose behind it. I remember feeling tired and worn out, similar to how one feels after being on a very long journey.

The symbolism afterward is interesting. A pick-up symbolizes hard work and/or something that needs to be picked up. To me it seems like I am being encouraged to “pick up” where I left off prior to December, 2015, which I am sorta doing already. Camping indicates a need for relaxation and a break but it also symbolizes a need to belong and be part of a social group while maintaining one’s independence. Beer represents relaxation and enjoyment of life via being social.

In-Between Experience: Taking Samples

This is an odd but very lucid experience. I was talking with another individual. I don’t know if the individual was male or female. My consideration was female but it was obvious that the person was androgynous. “She” was talking to me about my transformation. All I remember now is that part of it was viewing others as androgynous. There were memories that came forward then, memories of dreams/experiences I cannot place in time. In those memories I was with others who were bald and very feminine looking but they were of neither gender. I felt to be the same – without a specified gender.

Then she was telling me that she needed to take skin samples. I am not sure why she was doing this but I did not resist. I stood facing a white wall and put my arms over my head. I was very aware of being completely naked. I could also feel her presence very acutely. It was like her energy and mine were mingling. Like her energy spoke to mine. She very gently began to touch me. She placed one hand on my back. I could feel the impressions by her fingers up near my shoulder blade. It tickled. Since I was very lucid, it felt as if I was physically present and experiencing her touch.

I then felt something press up against the back of my thigh. Though I was not looking at the object, I could see it. It was long, thin, silver and flat. On the very tip was a small scraper, similar to a cheese grater. The width of the tip was shorter than the length of my fingertip. She ran this object up and down the back of my right thigh. It didn’t hurt. In fact, it felt like someone was giving me a gentle, sensual massage, lightly touching my skin just enough to bring a ticklish shiver. In my mind I was reassured that all the she was doing was taking a sample of my skin cells. The scraper took only the dead skin cells like an exfoliation device would do.

She then moved to the left thigh. What was odd here was that as I experienced the tickling sensation of the scraping object I was experiencing myself as male and then female and then male, etc. I could not get a good idea of what my body looked like and was trying to identify as one gender or the other. I was reassured that it was normal. That humans tend to identify with gender as part of their experience but that we are not limited by such considerations

I felt the object tickle my left thigh and then come very close to my genital region. Since I was neither male of female this actually brought me back to my body awareness. When I woke I could still feel finger impressions on my back and my thighs were still tingling.


This in-between experience seemed very much like an ET encounter but I am not completely sure because I didn’t see the person as an ET, just androgynous and bald. Perhaps an Andromedan? Who knows. The sample taking and instrument used was a new experience for me. I don’t know if an actual sample was taken or if this was just my interpretation. Yet I can still see it very vividly in my mind and the sensation was so real! The path the object made left a thin, electrified sensation on my leg that made my nerves tingle and stay tingling much longer than what is normal. It was at least three passes on the center of each thigh all the way up to just below my groin area.

Kundalini Dream and Reconstitution

Woke at 5am again and could not remember one dream. I requested to go OOB and heard, “No.” I understood straight away that my energy body wasn’t adequately charged or aligned for an OBE this morning. Disappointed, I asked, “Then can I just get something? Anything? Maybe more Kundalini??” lol I didn’t get a response which to me is the same as, “Maybe” or “Okay.”

Dream: Renting Rooms

I was in a small, older house, with a group of people. There was much activity. I sat in a chair next to a sofa in the living area with several others. The sofa was gold, like from the 1960-70’s. It was very worn in certain places and had a multi-colored crocheted throw draped over the back.

I chatted with someone about a job. The job was similar to a physical trainer but with EMT-type experience. There was a young girl in need of one of these trainers for when she exercised because she had a disability and might pass out mid-exercise. Her disability involved inability to breathe and seizures. What is odd was that it felt like I may need this kind of help – like the girl of the discussion was really me.

I changed the topic to going fishing. I suggested three places. In my mind I could see them. One was a lake, another a pond and another a circular section of a river. I remember saying, “I haven’t gone fishing in a long time. I would really love to go.” It was agreed that we would go but then I couldn’t find my glasses. I searched, finding various other pairs that were not mine. Right when I figured I would give up my search, I decided to look in a drawer. I found them tucked away inside. I remember saying that they were “well worn” and “old”.

I never left the house. The next thing I recall was that rooms were being rented out for the day for various purposes. I watched as two women got keys to a room from an older, dark haired lady. They went inside and locked the door. It was obvious they were lovers and I remember smirking and then wondering if maybe all the rooms were being rented to couples.

I knew I was an employee there, like a caretaker and part of the “crew”. I gathered up dirty, blue bedding and washed it. After seeing the couple go into the room I was a bit grossed out handling the bedding. lol As I was working I saw a very tiny, blonde woman with her small child hiding in the corner. I went over to investigate and she spoke to me in another language. She seemed to be crouching in the corner near the washing machine and I wondered if she was frightened. I also worried about her child. I asked her if she was okay and she ran away, looking behind her frantically. I told her I was worried about her, wouldn’t hurt her and just wanted to make sure she was safe. She kept speaking in another language so I have no idea what she said. She was very small, though, like midget size. She reminded me of a nymph or fairy.

115445-butternutKundalini Dream

Finished there, I went into the kitchen where a man was standing near the sink. I knew him and spoke to him like we were old friends. He was preparing food and I stopped to help him, squeezing in next to him as he stood over the sink. I held a chunk of butternut squash in my hand. The orange color is very vivid and memorable. I was working at getting to the center of the piece in my hand when he gently grabbed my hand and said, “No, eat the whole thing.” I had been about the drop the rind but stopped and put the squash on it and said, “Like this?” I held it up and then put the squash in his mouth for him to taste.

For some reason I reached up and kissed him squarely on the mouth. In the midst of kissing him I was confused by my actions. I was thinking he was not my type at all. He was a very large, burly man with facial hair and I recall that he had an accent – Australian.

He picked me up as we kissed. It surprised me. It was like I weighed nothing. I wrapped my legs around his midsection and we just kept making out. lol It was around this time, though, that my lucidity began to peak and the energetic sensations became noticeable.

My entire chakra system was activated but not sequentially. Instead it was like my chakras were blinking. Some blinked simultaneously. I felt like an energetic polka dot. I could feel all of them but some of them seemed to be in the wrong place, like to the left or right of where they should be or too close to one another. Or maybe I had additional chakras because it sure seemed like there were energy centers all over the place.

I remember talking to the man between kisses but I don’t know what we said now. All I recall now is thinking, “I shouldn’t be doing this.” He whispered to me several times, “You’re so good.” The last time he said it I woke up.


My entire torso was aching when I woke up, especially my lower back and solar plexus region. The energetic sensations lingered for some time but instead of jumping all over the place it was mainly my mid-section that was buzzing. My neck was stiff like I had slept wrong, but since I was laying on my back I highly doubt that was the reason.

I could feel my guide and asked him, “Why did you look like that? Why were you so large?” He laughed and said, “Was I?” His response caused me to consider that perhaps I saw him that way for a reason. I recalled other K experiences and realized that his largeness represented indulgence and prosperity. The butternut squash was also symbolic. Symbolic of the second chakra.

I wondered about why he said, “You’re so good.” I asked him what he meant. Good at what? Kissing? lol But then I understood. He was responding to my statement. I’m trying to be a “good girl”.

Then I wondered about the strange energy. What is going on? He said, “Reconstitution.” All of my chakras are being reconstituted in preparation for the Kundalini. I remembered how I was warned about the last part of December. I was asked to prepare myself for the K energy, to eat properly, meditate, do yoga, etc. My guide tried to explain what reconstitution meant. He asked me, “What happens when you renovate a kitchen?” I said, “You completely gut it and then replace everything with something new and rearrange the space.” He said, “Yes. That is what is happening to you. You are changing.”

I fell into the in-between somehow and caught myself saying, “But she’s not human.” As I said this, I could see “her”. She was not human. Entirely of another species, likely an E.T. but my memory of what I saw is blurry. Her coloring was blue and there was a pulsating, multi-colored light within that resembled her blood maybe, or something else. I saw these tentacles coming off her and retracted from what I saw. I said it again, “She’s not human.” This is what brought me back to full awareness. What was that?

I thought perhaps I was seeing myself in another form. When I tried to remember her face all I recall seeing was slits, like for breathing maybe? The coloring of the skin was odd and really creeped me out. It was like she was an amphibian. Weird! I wondered if this was what Arcturians looked like? Or was this some other species?

I pushed it out of my mind and tried to return to the in-between. I didn’t but I heard that a reunion was taking place at other levels, in other dimensions. What I experience here is merely a reflection.



Mission: Illuminate Mankind

Wow, where to start. Lots to write about…..

Okay, well, I will likely have to split this all up into two posts to make any sense of it.

Dream: White Winged Unicorn

I was at an amusement center of some kind. One of those indoor kinds with video games, food, bumper cars, etc. People were everywhere. Kids especially. I was with my family, but none of them were recognizable except my middle son. There was a place where there was suppose to have been a bowling ally put in but it was not there and someone directed me to the restroom. Inside it was very cramped and two women came in and got into a shower fully clothed. The shower was literally right up against the back of the toilet and positioned above it so that the person on the toilet was underneath the shower. I got sprayed by the water and got grossed out.  I left as soon as I could. Amusement park is enjoyment of life. Shower is renewal and forgiveness.

I went outside and everyone was talking about this new ride. I saw a billboard sign of the ride but can’t recall the name now. My guides tell me the name was “Apex” so I take their word for it. We walked to the entrance and I looked up. I saw a horse-shaped orange statue high above us. Then it moved and I knew it wasn’t a statue. One of the kids pointed and yelled to look. The orange horse creature then moved and as it did it morphed into this brilliantly white winged unicorn.

I lost the family group then because I was staring at the winged unicorn. It became very large then, as if I or him shifted positions so that we were much closer. He was on this ramp leading up at a very steep angle. He could not go anywhere but up because he was pinned in by railing on both sides of the ramp. He was up on his hind legs kicking at the railings and trying to get out only to get stuck and have to stay on the ramp. His horn was exceptionally long and he was using it like a sword. He was neighing very loudly and snorting in anger. Eventually he reared up and took off, galloping up the ramp at breakneck speeds. I watched him reach the end, leap up into the air and fly off into the distance. It was magnificent. He was the most beautiful creature. Winged unicorn is a mixture of unicorn and Pegasus. Pegasus is swiftness and bravery in a stormy relationship. Unicorn is high ideals, hope and insight into a situation. White is purity.

Stunned, I walked into the APEX ride location.  I was late. It was meant to start at 11. My family group was already inside. The ticket agent asked for my ticket.  An old man from my group gave it to the ticket lady. She looked at the ticket and said, “This is a very old ticket. Ancient.” My interpretation of this was that it came from the 1980’s and I saw in my mind this very old and tattered ticket stub. A ticket is the start of something and the price one has to pay to gain admittance. This one is old, like I’ve been trying to gain admittance for a long time.

I went inside but had a gallon water jug with me. I set it on the floor because I couldn’t take it with me. As I went in, I saw a grouping of chairs with at least a dozen jugs of water on them. Contained or controlled emotion.

Inside was pitch black. It was like a movie theater without the screen. I felt around, calling for my group. The old man grabbed my hand and said, “We’re sitting on the floor” and led me away from the first grouping of seats. I wonder what kind of ride this was. It felt like a screen was located on the ceiling.



I woke up with a start knowing the dream was a good message. I saw it was 5am. I had slept straight through the night, not waking even once. The winged unicorn was very vivid in my memory. I loved winged unicorns as a child. In fact, I was obsessed with drawing them (and horses) until we moved in 1986.

I fell into the in-between. Here I saw a black stallion rearing up and neighing loudly. He was kicking his feet at masses of clutter and several people that were surrounding him. The scene was very colorful. The clutter was very bright, especially the color red.

This vision brought me out of the in-between. I noticed the contrast between the white winged unicorn and the black stallion (one of my all-time favorite childhood movies BTW). Too tired to think about it, I attempted sleep.

This time I entered a scene where I was floating or moving through a tunnel filled with various designs and geometric shapes. It was as if I was flying through inter-dimensional space or some kind of wormhole. In front of me written very clearly was the word, “Pleiades”. The E, I, A, and D were bright white and the other letters dim in comparison. Then I both saw and heard, “Illuminate Mankind”.

I came out of my reverie and felt different. I can’t explain it really. It was clear to me that I was being communicated with by my group. They were informing me of my mission but also of their mission. The Pleiadian mission is to illuminate mankind. It couldn’t have been made more clear. lol This is also my mission (finally! Thank you!). I wonder now what is meant by “illuminate”. Does it mean to “make bright” like the letters in my vision? Or to “make lucid or clear”? Or “enlighten as with knowledge”?  Probably all of them.


Camping Lessons and E.T. Dream Visitation

The full moon camping trip was a success despite not turning out exactly as I had planned. My entire family – husband and three kids – came along and made things very interesting. The different personalities combined to make things very chaotic at times. My daughter was especially dramatic, which isn’t new. I am not sure if it is a Taurus trait or not, but she has a hard time dealing with change of any kind.

Lessons learned:

Make a check-list beforehand. I packed everyone’s stuff into the car and forgot my own stuff -everything I needed for the ceremony, trip, etc. Thankfully the campsite was not far from our house.

Inflatable beds are a must-have.

Do NOT make your first meal after a three day, gluten-free, dairy-free, meat-free cleanse be hot dogs, beans and Fritos. Ha! BAD idea.


I don’t know if it was the fact that I was sleeping in a tent or the energy of the full moon, or both, but I did not sleep very much. When I did sleep, I was awakened either by coyotes howling close by, dogs barking at the coyotes, or my middle son sleepwalking and jumping onto my air mattress. lol

When I did sleep I had really crazy dreams and messages from my guidance.

There was an entire dream sequence about my husband and an incident that never happened but in the dream I was convinced it had. In the dream he referenced a specific conversation we had in the past. He mentioned that he knew at that moment that I didn’t love him anymore. We had a long talk in the dream about this past conversation, his realizations and our relationship.

Then there was talk with my guidance about the talk I had with my husband in the dream. The message was clear that I needed to look more closely at my relationship. I had a very resistant feeling to what we were discussing.

As I was waking from this dream I saw a man-sized cockroach and said to my guides, “Really? Really? Please just let me sleep!”

In another dream I was with a group of people that resembled teenagers. They were all dressed in black and had piercings and tattoos. The females of the group, including me, were being prepared to be sent out for work. Plastic wrap was being inserted between the skin and the underwear. I inquired as to why this was and was told it was to protect the skin from contact. I remember thinking we were going to have sexual contact. I laughed about it but the other women were not laughing. Then there was focus on a couple who were always together. The sense was that they were pair bonded.

I was sent to an arena or stadium that was under construction and being rearranged. When I arrived I was told a step was missing and to be careful. I saw a huge hole where the step should have been and was told it was being turned into a walkway that would stretch right across the arena. I turned to see who it was who was telling me this and saw I was surrounded by E.T.s of a race I cannot identify because now in my memory their faces are a complete blur. All I recall is black and gray. I do remember they were wearing uniforms and there was a military feeling. My human mind wants to say they looked like they had on skeleton masks but I know that in reality they were not wearing masks. In the dream I was surprised at their appearance but was not afraid of them despite them being so close to me and completely surrounding me.

When I woke up from this dream it was suddenly and I felt strange. There was a feeling that I am being prepared to work with whoever it was in my dreams. My suspicion is that more E.T. contact is coming.





On Dreams and Expectations

I’ve gotten several indicators that today is the day of my “new birthday”. Yet nothing so far has happened. I slept hard for the first time in over a week, though. Yay! I fasted all day on the 2nd as instructed, but it was a juice fast since I couldn’t handle no food at all. I even got to astral project during a nap twice yesterday! So why didn’t the Kundalini rising continue as foretold? Probably because I’m a schmuck.

I was not in a good mood when I woke up either. I was mad because there was no K energy and nothing happened after I spent all day fasting. I was being very hard on myself for falling for this “nonsense” – all of it from my connections to my Council, to Twin Flames, and soul exchanges. I even had it in my head to just stop writing in my blogs altogether. I have been doing so for long enough anyway – since 2011! 5 years of writing and I could have written several books in all that time instead of babbling away about random spiritual life happenings, dreams, OBEs and my rambling considerations of such things.

Taken In-Between

One of my guides was very close and I was pulled into the in-between where he was standing next to me. His size and coloring were immediately  apparent. He stood at least two feet taller than me and his coloration was of greens and blues that seemed to shift and move as if he were iridescent. Unfortunately, I could not see his face. He was most definitely not human!

We were inside a small viewing porticus looking over a beautiful, expansive city that extended as far as I could see. The land upon which the city was situated was very flat and I could see lights dotted about and in lines zig-zagging here and there indicating buildings and movement similar to one of our Earth cities. I was surprised to be there with him but immediately disinterested, feeling he was trying to distract me with other worldly delights. But this was not his intent at all. He spoke to me about this city, even giving it a location in space. I lost the name of the location almost immediately but knew this was a grand city whose primary purpose wast to extract a certain mineral resource that was not available on Earth. I recognized we were standing in some kind of viewing window overlooking this city from high above. I suspected then we were on some sort of space craft.

The mere presence of his energy caused me to immediately shift into my heart space. It’s like he flipped a switch and my mind shut down and my heart opened up.


Discussing Expectation

Then he was talking to me, discussing expectation. I am upset because I feel I am not allowed to have future expectations. I think, “But this is what motivates me and gives me something to look forward to!”

My guide gave an example, then. He said, “If a man is shot, does he not bleed?” Yes, of course. Then he said, “There are some things you know will happen.” And the word, “Science” came to mind followed by the all familiar phrase (Newton’s Third Law of Motion), “Every action has an equal and opposite reaction.”

I thought about it and I understood. Sure. Whatever. That still makes me feel like crap because the information I get about spiritual things is by no means scientific. I have not studied what I am going through and neither have very many others. It is hard to find information about the K energy, about spiritual awakening, about all the stuff I am experiencing. There seems no specific pattern, no clear-cut stages, no “if this happens, then this happens”. It all seems up to chance.

My guide then explained that having hopes/dreams is not the same as having expectations or attaching to a certain expectation/outcome. It is the attachment to a certain outcome – the “putting all your eggs in one basket” approach – that is to be avoided. It is by doing this that we become upset when things don’t go as we would like. Instead, we should not hold any one outcome as better or worse than the other. We should accept the outcome as a learning experience, learn from it and be pleased we were allowed an opportunity to learn from it.

He then gave began explaining the purpose of dreams and as I typed this he came through quite easily and unexpectedly as if to reiterate his point:

“Dreams are the explosion of our creative potential into a specific targeted direction. Once we dream them, they are dreamed and we do not dwell on them long. They are gone as soon as they appear and we hold them not in our minds as the “one thing” we must or should have. Dreams are the canvas upon which we paint our life. Without them, we would have no life worth living for life indeed would be very drab.”

With this I was reminded of my projections and how when things within the astral environment change I do not flinch or allow it to cause me upset. I note it, accept it and move on, even if that object or thing happens to change multiple times within the projection. Very often I am surprisingly pleased that the change has occurred. It is viewed as “new” in that moment and like a child I find it amusing and fun.

For example, doors are always moving around in my dreams and my projections. They will start out where they are suppose to be and then reappear behind me or disappear altogether. I do notice this happening, or else I would not remember it at all, but I do not become upset or worried about it. I see the change and think, “That wasn’t there before” and immediately it is gone from my mind, nothing more than a mild curiosity that had I dwelt upon it would have distracted me from what I was there to learn and ultimately ended the projection altogether.

“So you see, my dear one, how our dreams allow us the opportunity to try on different realities so that we can choose correctly in this physical incarnation that which we would like to experience. I say “correctly” only so that you understand that we all have choices, multitudinous choices, from which to select and though all are correct not all will be tried and tested within the dream state. If you can take what you have learned via the dreamstate – via your OBEs, via your communications with US, via your inner journey – and apply it to your waking state consciously and with intent you will see that your upsets and dramas over seemingly very large ordeals are surely a waste of your time and a distraction away from your true purpose here. It is in availing yourself of the opportunities you have been given via your spiritual insights and experiences that you will find the most success in this lifetime.”

All of this I was surely not expecting upon rising this morning! What a surprise! “It does indeed give you something to chew on, does it not dear heart?” Yes, indeed.

I’ve Been Zapped!

I’ve been up since 4am. Had a Kundalini rising episode again. They are getting more and more overwhelmingly intense. There was no way sleep was coming after this one. Nope.

Dream: LA 

There was a series of dreams prior to this one and even one that seemed to be going on simultaneously. But to avoid confusion I will stick to the one that resulted in the Kundalini rising.

I was inside a room that appeared to be made completely of a metallic type of a material. Everything was gray. Next to me was a small, spiral stair leading up. The whole scene reminded me of the inside of a ship, similar to what the inside of the USS Lexington looked like when I visited.

I was told to wait because the next shift was late, specifically the barber. I said I would wait but I really wanted to leave. It was cramped inside.

While I waited I turned on the computer monitor. It was very large, probably four by five feet. I was clicking on various icons and ended up on a porn site. Horrified, I tried to click out of it but was unable to. Everything I tried took me to more porn! lol What was odd is that the sites contained pictures of various E.T. women. I remember knowing where they were from – Sirius and Lyra specifically. The woman from Lyra looked like she was half feline! I can’t get the image out of my head even now. She looked like she had white fur growing along her spine that resembled a mink coat.

This is when the next shift arrived, the “barber”.Well, it was only one person, a man, and he was completely bald (a bald barber?). He came into the room carrying containers of food and said, “I brought take out” (second dream this week with take out). I knew who he was and was a bit shocked to see him. He came up to me and wrapped his arms around my midsection and kissed me passionately. I remember my entire body catching fire and I pushed him away and said, “Not now.”

There was knowingness that he was my “boyfriend” and he had been away. In the dream there was a time frame here but my memory is confused. It felt like 1 day but then I also swear it had been 15 months.

He then took me on a tour of LA. He showed me a restaurant. People were lined up waiting to get inside. I asked why the fuss and he said it was the location – some major film had been filmed there or around there. I remember thinking it was lame to wait all day in line for food just because of a location.

Next we were on the set of a film watching an actor as he played his role. I was interested but only because I knew his native language was not English. I was congratulated on recognizing this but I acted bored about it. I was still trying to figure out what exactly was going on through all of this. Why was I in LA? Why was I getting a tour? What is going on? lol

My thoughts were interrupted by yet another passionate kiss. Whoa. I became full-on lucid at this point and could feel everything very physically. The kiss knocked me off my feet and I remember sending a thought, “Please stop. I can’t do this.” There was no stopping it, though. It was like a whirlwind of energy rushing up my body that was so exquisite, so seductive, there was no way I could offer up any resistance to it. The entire time I felt myself participating in the kiss but it was like my body had a mind of its own. I was totally incapacitated.  Just when I think it can’t get anymore amazingly blissful, it does.

Of course, I woke myself up. lol Yet the energy continued swirling with fury from my root up to my throat, threatening to engulf me entirely. I think the reason I woke up was I kept holding my breath. Even after I woke up I kept holding my breath. How does one breathe through something like that?

I remembered that I needed to calm down and move the energy up and out of my root. But when I tried to do this, the energy hit my heart with such intensity that I again couldn’t breathe and felt like I would die from ecstasy. But really, can one die from ecstasy? Maybe?? lolol

The entire time I am awake and this energy is overwhelming me, I hear my Companion talking to me. I can’t remember all of what he said now, but I remember he repeated, “Let us help you” more than once. My thought was, “Us?”

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4am and No Sleep for Me

I glanced at my clock and it was just after 4am. I tried to return to sleep but the energy kept surging and my thoughts were not helping. If I even focused on my Companion a tiny bit my heart would explode and then it would all surge up again and make me breathless. And if I tried to recall my dreams the same thing happened. There was no escaping it.

It was also extremely hot in the room. lol

At one point I had calmed enough to feel the heaviness of sleep. I rolled over and settled down only to find my entire head and visual area hit with energy followed by the familiar sensation of hypnagogia. My eyes were closed but I could feel my astral eyes forced open. It was like a blast of energy opened them. In my visual field was an intense bright, white light. I mentally yelled, “No!” Little good that did! hahaha

In that instant I heard from within the center of my head an electrical, almost static buzzing sound. It was coming from directly in front of me and I heard it via my third-eye! WTF? Before I had a chance to think about it there came from this sound a blast of energy that went straight into the center of my head. It was like someone had aimed a laser beam of energy directly into my third-eye. I was zapped! Shocked, I felt my astral body jump. I also heard the zap with my third-eye. I have not heard in this way (internally while awake) in ages and it was through my crown. Never have I heard a noise via my third-eye.

Still in shock I heard my Companion say, “How was that?” He was smirking. NOT funny! Ahhhhh!

Well, there was no way sleep was coming after that. No way in hell. So I tried to relax and allow whatever was to come, to come. My heart was doing all kinds of crazy stuff as was my crown, third-eye, root – you name it, it was ablaze. Even now my heart is sparking up.

Purification Needed

Despite all of the energy flare ups that continued, I found myself pulled into the in-between by a female guide. She told me, “You need to keep your hands washed at all times.” Huh? What? She answered, “Purification ritual. You need to do one.” What an odd request and continually wash my hands? Why? What is odd is I actually felt compelled to wash my hands right then and there. Weird. I also remember now that I had visions of taking a bath when the Kundalini energy began to subside. All I wanted to do was “put out the fire.” lol

I recognized that I needed to research this. It is connected to Hinduism. I was also instructed to fast for an entire day. No food of any kind. Just liquids.

This female guide was very fussy, acting like a mother hen. The space she took me was highly decorated with textiles but very small. There was a feeling of “women only” and there came with this a thought of separating from men during the menstrual cycle. Another odd thing to add to a very eventful morning!