OBE: Meeting the Marlboro Man

Feeling somewhat more myself today after two days of emotional purging. The feeling didn’t level out until yesterday afternoon. I’m sure there’s an astrological explanation but I’ve not searched for one. I’m just happy to feel more balanced.

Prior to bed, feeling a bit worse for wear, I requested a reprieve. I said, “A lucid dream or OBE would be nice, please.” Anything’s better than waking up crying IMO. I heard from my Companion, “I will come to you.” I told him, “That’s what you said last night and you were a no-show. I don’t believe you.” I don’t know if he showed up, actually, I forgot most of my dreams upon waking, but he can affect that and he knows it. He repeated that I would be seeing him. I said, “We’ll see.”

Dream: Christmas Wedding

This dream took up most of the night and even after I woke at 5am it continued once I fell asleep. I’m not going to go into too much detail but will share the important points.

I was in a church (seeking guidance) most of the dream alongside a group of family who I didn’t recognize but accepted. We were discussing my upcoming wedding (transitions) and the details of it. Thing is, I had not planned in advance and was down to three weeks before the date was set.  I had not picked out my dress, the bridesmaid’s dresses or even ordered the invitations. Yet I was meeting with everyone discussing and practicing the ceremony. I recall most vividly the woman who I was speaking with and the priest (guidance) who seemed to be the one in charge.

The part that most stands out to me is looking at a calendar and choosing the date of the ceremony. I said, “Why don’t we make it on Friday?” I pointed to it on the calendar and someone said, “The 17th? That sounds good.” Yet in 2017 the 17th falls on a Sunday. I became somewhat lucid, remembering I was already married and it confused me. There was discussion about eloping and avoiding all the planning and guests.

I woke up then and was upset mostly because the dream seemed to indicate to me that the Union of masculine and feminine that I had been told to expect this summer would be in December. This is in fact the second dream indicating December, 2017, is significant. It did not make me happy to know I had six more months to wait. I prefer the three weeks like in the dream!

The second half of the dream I took it over and so it was about my current marriage (entering new phase) and vow renewal became the topic and the date shifted to April 21st which is the day we met 10 years ago.

virus

OBE: Computer Virus

I woke briefly, still in a sour mood over the dreams, and requested to go OOB. The next thing I recall is sitting at a desk in a darkened room. In front of me was a computer screen. Around me were many other people, most in the shadows. I knew I was dreaming and took control almost immediately. My computer screen flickered and adware popped up, freezing the screen. It was some kind of virus (feeling out of control). I had to shut down the computer. I then turned to the man sitting next to me, warning him about the virus. I recognized him as an ex-classmate. He had a laptop and it also had the adware on it but the game was playing and locked his keyboard. I told him to shut it down (resolve the problem), which he did, and we talked a bit. The only thing I remember saying is that my desktop was 10 years old and was faster than his laptop. lol

I looked around and saw the room was full of people. I felt very cheerful and curious and went up to people, tapping them to get them to turn around so I could see them. Eventually I came to a woman who I thought I recognized. I asked her, “Are you related to the Skero family?” She thought on it and said she might be. I told her I had a classmate named Michelle. We talked a while and I was sure I knew her. Since the woman was at the computer I turned and saw the same adware on the screen. The image began to flicker and my last memories are of feeling sucked up into the screen. I must have stared at it too long.

OBE: Meeting Linda

I briefly felt a shift back to my body and within moments shifted back OOB. I was back in the darkened computer room next to the woman who I felt so familiar with. I ventured out of the room and found myself standing in my mother’s living/kitchen area. The lights were on and golden and the room was full of children (looking to satisfy hopes/desires) of all ages playing and seeming to be having a party. A group was gathered by the front door in front of a large T.V. and another group was to my right. It was noisy but the ambiance was golden and full of laughter. I could see some adults to my left observing the scene. I believe there were three and though they were older they appeared to be in their teens or twenties.

My friend was standing to my right and I turned to her. We both seemed very short for some reason. I could see her brown hair and her face. She was smiling and at ease. I turned to her and in fully recognizing her as one of my guides I hugged her and said, “I remember your name now. Melinda. It’s Melinda.” With a short laugh she said, “Yes. Me-Linda but I go by Linda.” I briefly remembered other encounters with her, other OBEs and experiences in this body where she had been present. It was a surreal feeling and it disoriented me to think of this body/life and I was pulled back into my body.

mm

OBE: Meeting the Marlboro Man

I felt firmly back in my body and was talking to someone. I don’t recall what was said but at some point I realized I had not fully returned to the physical. With this realization I simply stepped out of my body and into the brightly lit living room I had been in previously. There was barely a noticeable shift in doing this and I briefly thought I had been mistaken and was awake.

The room was once again very brightly lit. I don’t think I have ever seen so much light in my mom’s living/kitchen area. Children were everywhere and the colors they wore seemed to explode in my vision like fireworks – red, orange, white, yellow, purple, blue. Mostly there was red and yellow. In considering it now I am not sure the colors were from their clothing, either. I think I was seeing their Light.

They were all gathered to my right in front of a large screen. A young girl had made a video and everyone was watching it, proud of her accomplishment. I walked into the center of the room and looked at the screen. I could see images on it but heard/felt I should not focus on the screen. So, I continued to the door and put my hand on it. I asked, “Can I go outside?” I felt it was okay and with that the door vanished and I was standing outside.

It was bright outside but the sky was overcast. I felt elated to be standing there even though it was my mom’s front yard, a place I find myself frequently when OOB. I felt the sensation of snow hitting my arms and looked up. It was snowing! I was super excited about it, but then in Texas it rarely snows. lol I remember saying aloud, “It’s snowing!!” I let it hit my bare arms and looked around as it dusted the ground and then melted (releasing repressed emotions) just as quickly. In front of me, barring my path, were structures made of lumber (need for a fresh start). When I saw them I thought, “Christmas trees” (familial relationships) and felt my mom had put them there. In my memory I still see them but they looked like the frames of pyramids (change will occur over short time), each of them a few feet taller than me. They had no lights or ornaments so I’m not sure why I thought them Christmas trees.

I wandered to my left and saw the ground was flooded (emotional issues/tension), the standing water moving like a small river. It was clear (clear emotions) and I walked into it. I felt the cold on my bare feet (self-identity) and laughed, kicking and splashing water. It was no deeper than my ankles. I continued and found more standing water, each pool flowing into the next. The whole yard was flooded it seemed.

I looked up and asked if I could fly. I heard/felt it would be okay so I lifted myself up into the sky and took off. I stopped and soared over the swollen ground. I was high enough to see the entire landscape and it no longer resembled my mother’s place. I could see a vast, shallow lake formed by the flood surrounded by coniferous forest. The water was crystal clear. I noticed a small child (inner child perhaps?) curled up on a tiny piece of land in the center. I wanted to turn back but knew not to and so continued on.

While I was flying I could sense I was not alone but I could see no one. I had a thought that if I wanted they would show themselves. In my mind I was even conversing with them, but I can’t recall what I said now. I had turned back and was hovering in the sky feeling weightless and focusing on the energy with me. I don’t know why but I knew there was a rope (safety line?) being thrown to me. I reached into the empty sky and sure enough I felt a rope there. I grabbed hold of it. I was laughing and full of joy. I felt so free of all worry and the heaviness of life. I could have stayed there forever.

Within moments of grabbing onto the rope I felt I would soon meet whoever was with me. I dared him to grab/hug me. And with that I felt him embrace me from behind. He said, “Here I am” in a deep voice. I laughed out loud and fell into the embrace. No fear or concern. Pure trust.

My vision blacked for a brief moment, or maybe I closed my eyes while relishing the feeling of the embrace. When I opened my eyes I was standing face-to-face with my Companion. We were standing under and against a huge oak tree (wisdom and prosperity). His arms were wrapped around my waist and my hands were resting on his shoulders. We were very close, only inches separated us.

I said, “I knew you were there all along!” He laughed and I took a really good look at his face. I could see all the fine lines and details of it. He did not look like I had ever remembered seeing him, though, yet at the same time he was familiar. His hair was brown as were his eyes and he had a bushy, brown mustache. I reached up and touched his cheek and traced his lips with my finger. I gently parted his lips to see his teeth, though I’m not sure why. He opened his mouth a bit and I even saw his tongue which looked to be speckled with little black specks that reminded me of pepper.

I tried to memorize his features as best I could but was distracted by a distinct smell. It was the smell of alcohol. I looked at him and said, “Did you use to drink?” In considering this now, I think the alcohol smell is a message to me that I’m trying to escape certain issues rather than confront them.

I don’t remember his reply, but I know he replied because I remember the timbre of his voice. It was deep and familiar. Just hearing it brought a feeling of satisfaction. I wish, wish, wish I could have recorded it.

I came back to my body flooded with memories of the first time I saw Steven (my Companion) in my mind’s eye. He presented himself to me as a cowboy with a mustache riding a horse. I use to call him the Marlboro Man jokingly because that is what he looked like in my mind. In this OBE meeting he looked exactly like that! Ha!

I also heard a song and remember that it was in the background of the OBE while I was flying. Why I didn’t notice it at the time, I don’t know, but the melody followed me back to my body along with the words, “By the look in my eyes….” I asked my husband if he knew the song and it didn’t take him long to figure it out and play it for me.

You should’ve seen by the look in my eyes, baby
There was somethin missing
You should’ve known by the tone of my voice, maybe
But you didn’t listen
You played dead
But you never bled
Instead you lay still in the grass
All coiled up and hissin
And though I know all about those men
Still I don’t remember
Cause it was us baby, way before then
And we’re still together
And I meant, every word I said
When I said that I love you I meant
That I love you forever

When I read the lyrics I laughed because the woman he’s talking about does sound like me – playing “dead”, not listening, “all coiled up and hissin'”. I’ve been dealing with lots of anger and when I’m angry I can get resentful/vengeful. Not pleasant but thankfully I have learned to control that reaction. The anger is the result of not confronting the real emotion underneath. Thus, all the grief I’ve been dealing with lately.

Funny how I always get these old songs from my Companion. This one was released in 1980-81. I was just four or five years old back then.

 

Bird in a Cage

Yesterday I gave the cockatiel away to an older lady with two other birds, a female conure named “Red” and a female cockatiel named “Free-bird”. The decision was made when my daughter lost interest in him and I ended up being the full-time caregiver for a bird that needed as much attention and care as a toddler. I recognized pretty quickly that I did not have the time/energy/stamina for him and that my 3-yr-old was going to compete for my attention every time I tried to interact with the bird (yes, funny I know!). Plus, I was sick most of the time the bird was in my home making it that much more difficult to care for him. FYI – My stomach condition is gone today. Yay!

Part of me misses the bird but then I know it was the right decision. I do not like the idea of keeping a bird or any animal in a cage. He will be much happier with other birds around him and someone who can be with him full-time. The woman who now owns him is widowed, older (60’s probably), doesn’t work and dotes on her other two birds. They are like her children. When she took him I could tell she was already falling in love with him and he was quite happy to be with her, too.

Blanket of Disconnection

Prior to going to bed I had a strange feeling descend over me like a blanket. It was a familiar feeling, too. When fully encapsulated in this feeling it was as if my entire life was not real. Like I was in the movie that is my life but not a part of it. The disconnect was strong. My initial reaction was a brief panic but my Companion sent a calming energy and a reminder that all was okay and to allow the feeling and experience. Instantly I surrendered to the calm and the panic vanished but the disconnect remained.

With the feeling came a familiar R.E.M. song – “It’s the end of the world as we know it.” At the same time I began to think about death and what occurs after it. The show LOST came to mind, specifically the finale and how when each of them died they found someone from their life and reunited, but it was not all at once. Instead it was like they entered another lifetime altogether and slowly came to awareness of the life they just left behind. I began to over analyze for a moment, considering experience to be similar to that LOST finale but it began to overwhelm me. It all felt very surreal and with the song and thoughts coming together I briefly wondered, “Is the world  ending or is it just beginning?” I felt a bit like I was tripping right then and it was difficult to locate reality. You can imagine how I might have felt, why I panicked. But the calm relinquished the panic and it was as if it were all real and normal. All a part of the moment.

As the experienced faded and this reality dominated, a song came to mind. “In a west end town in a dead end world. The east end boys and west end girls…” I had no idea why this song was coming to mind, though.

My Companion came through and I Knew more was coming. I said to him, “But I’m still sick.” He said, “Not for long.” The feeling followed me to bed along with a Knowing that I was to experience a big Shift soon.

Dream and Message: Bird in a Cage

Early in the night I had a vivid dream of a bird that kept going back to its cage despite being free to fly away in the wide open skies. I don’t remember much detail now, but when I woke this morning that dream is the only one that remained despite the many vivid dreams I had after it. Specifically, the dream was about the cockatiel I just gave away and his personality. There was a discussion about him and the dream images were a result of that discussion.

When I woke the previous day’s happenings rushed into my mind as if to remind me of the dream discussion I had just had. In the early afternoon a woman came to see the cockatiel. She was hopeful that it was her lost cockatiel who had been missing since October 2016. Unfortunately he wasn’t. But I expected that.

While she was at my house we talked about the cockatiel’s personality (the cockatiel I had, not hers). I told her what I had observed. He was people friendly, but not overly so. When we got him his cage he flew to it making happy noises. Once we got him inside he was reluctant to come out. We had to coax him out with treats or a mirror (he was obsessed with the mirror). Once out, he would fly but only to a human shoulder. I would also leave the cage open, hoping he would come out. I always knew when he would get out because he would start frantically crying. When I would check on him he would immediately fly to my shoulder in a panic and would only calm down if he got a mirror or his cage. I told her I believed his previous owner kept him in a cage most of the time with another bird. I think he was set free and not lost because he did not seem to want to fly far when he was let out. Also, his wings had never been clipped. He could fly far if he wanted, but he didn’t want to. She agreed.

Later, when the new owner came to visit we also talked about his personality. She mentioned that cockatiels could fly really far when their wings were not clipped, sometimes traveling up to 50 miles from home. She also told me that her other two birds also preferred to stay inside their cages and she never had to clip their wings. She had their cages located in her kitchen with open windows on three sides. She did not try to make them get out of their cages, but let them stay inside. She said some birds are more comfortable in their cages. I commented that her birds were likely happy to be in their “safe” homes while also getting to view the big wide world.

These memories flooded my mind and synced with my dream memory. Right then the cockatiel’s message to me was very clear. I was like him. I was a bird in a cage. The door was open. My wings were not clipped. I was being coaxed out with “treats” and a “mirror” but continued to retreat back to my “safe” place. The big-wide world was just too scary and my cage was familiar and predictable.

My thoughts were, “OMG you’ve got to be kidding me!” followed by obscenities.

I began to feel hopeless. Suddenly the path I chose, my cage or “safe” place, seemed pointless and without meaning or purpose. I began to ask my guidance, “Is this it? Is this all there is to life?” I have asked that question before and it led to many spiritual experiences and insight, yet here I was again asking it seemingly back to point A, no progress made.

Then I heard the song again – “In a West end town in a dead end world….” This time, though, I understood the message because a memory of an OBE I had a while back came to mind instantly. In the OBE I was trying to exit my bedroom via the closet door but I knew it was a closet. Symbols appeared on the door saying, “No Exit” and I received a message that the path I was choosing would only result in a “dead end”.

At the time I did not know for sure which path was the dead end. The one I assumed it was referring to was the one it turned out to be – choosing the familiar, the safe, the same path.

More obscenities.

I got upset then because I knew the only way out of a dead end was to turn around and go the other way. To leave my cage. Of course, my immediate response was to ask to go Home because what I see in front of me are two options: stay put (in my cage) or go out on my own (fly free). I have been practicing doing what makes me happy. It is obvious that staying in my cage is not making me happy but the fear of flying free is just too scary. A tiny bird all alone in the big-wide world. Terrifying. I want a third option – the opt-out. Not happening (insert more obscenities).

goat

OBE: Goats

The last thing I remember saying to my guides was, “I want out!” Oddly enough I ended up drifting into the in-between. While there I had a lucid experience where I returned to another time in my life, way back in my early twenties. I was married to my ex and he was into country music and being a “good ol’ boy”. He and I use to get dressed up in country attire, cowboy boots and all, and go dancing. I remember I looked really good, specifically in the blue jeans. In this lucid experience I put on those jeans, went to my bathroom and looked at myself in them. The lights were low so I could not see well but I did see that my butt looked really good. lol I squinted to look at the shirt I was wearing. It had something written on it. It started with a “p”. Was it “peace” or “piece”? Or was it “property” as in “Property” of some jail?

I returned to my bed and tried to put another pair of jeans over the old pair. Then I realized that was stupid and stopped. Next, I decided to take off the ones I was wearing because they felt uncomfortable.

Then I was acutely aware of laying in my bed, I heard goats calling to each other. There was a distinct energetic shift and I knew I could exit my body. I sat up, thinking I was at my grandparents house, and tried to roll out of bed to my right. I couldn’t, so I attempted to roll to my left. I was able to but pillows were stuck to my face. I stood up and began to walk to the door pulling the pillow from my face. I don’t know where I was going, I just wanted out.

Then I heard my daughter calling. I recognized that she was up preparing for school and right outside my door. While OOB I saw the light under the door right as I heard her. Then I was back in my body. I knew instantly that my asking to get “out” had resulted in me going OOB. I said to my guides, “That’s not what I meant!” LOL

Not long after I realized the goats I heard were reminding me of a message I got a long, long time ago in an OBE. A message that keeps coming back to me time and time again. Meaning I probably haven’t really gotten it fully. The message back then was, “The goat will bite you.” So I’m thinking, “WTF! What does it mean then! What am I missing!!???”

So I looked it up. Again.

When the goat ambles onto your path, it might be a signal to contemplate your power as an individual. Is it time to separate from the herd? Launch into an independent direction? Often times, the solitary path leads us to great discovery. Goats respect distance and space. They also encourage independent adventures and explorations of high vistas for the sole purpose of personal/individual knowing. ~Source.

If the goat represents this, then what does it biting me mean? Does it mean that this urge to break free, this curiosity for what is waiting for me beyond the safety of my cage, is pestering me to the point of annoyance? Probably.

As I ponder this I am reminded of a part of the dream discussion. In the discussion I remembered the woman saying she was going to put the birds in separate cages but right next to each other. Each bird in their own safe cage but close enough to another bird to feel connected to it. I knew this represented me and many others on Earth right now. We exist in our own little worlds. I remember saying I wanted to invite another into my cage, but it doesn’t work that way. We have to come out of our cages to be truly together.

 

 

Lucid to OBE: Breaking Through Barriers

I had a very busy night/morning. Not only do I remember most if not all of my dreams but most of them were lucid and I ended up in an extended OBE this morning that last about 3 hours.

Lucid to OBE: Breaking Through Barriers

I was in a school hallway when a saw a little boy go up to one of the male teachers. He pointed a gun at the man’s chest. Then he pushed the gun into the man’s chest and fired. The man fell to the ground and the little boy just stood there. I was shocked and upset.

The scene shifted and I was in my mom’s house looking down at the little boy who was laying on the ground. For some reason he had a bullet wound in his chest and the man was nowhere. I didn’t seem to remember the scene before at all. I contemplated calling 911 but waited because the boy was dead and I wanted to wait for my husband to arrive before I called anyone. Ultimately, I opted to call 911 because I didn’t want any suspicion. While waiting on hold the boy began to move and I realized he was still alive. As I was talking to the dispatcher I saw a car pull into the driveway. I looked outside and saw a van pull in and then back out. Then I saw an ambulance was already there assisting others who had been injured. It was like the front yard turned into a disaster scene.

When I went outside I became extremely lucid. When this happened the scene blacked out and the next thing I knew I was in the air flying over a foreign country. A FB friend of mine was with me, showing me where he lived. I recognized him and where I was and was conversing with my Companion about it as we flew. Below me I saw it was dark and could see forests of trees. We flew just over the tops of the trees and began to descend. I knew we were going to my friend’s house but I didn’t want to go there. With this decision I ended up in a city. While there we followed icy roads and watched as people slid through intersections. I recall telling my friend how when I lived in Montana we would buy studded tires. I said, “They wouldn’t slip if they had studded tires.” We had a whole conversation about it then because my friend was not sure what studded tires were and I was describing them to him.

We flew along the road which cleared of snow. By this time the sun was out and the black roads were glistening. We flew up to an outdoor ice skating arena. It was melting. I had never seen an outdoor arena before and commented on it. He told me it was named after a famous hockey player but I did not recognize the name and can’t recall it even though I repeated it several times.

My visit with my friend seemed over because I recall being alone flying over hills and low mountains covered in trees. There was still snow on the ground and the sky was once again dark. I ended up inside a house I did not recognize. My memories of what happened while I was inside are lost to me but I know I had a conversation with someone there.

At some point I decided I wanted to go outside and explore. I recall the door vividly and pushing right through it. Outside I flew up into the sky and began to fly ridiculously fast over the treetops. It was exhilarating! Then I felt the familiar pull upward. I went with it and the speed was incredible. As usual, I began to feel fear creeping in and wanted to resist it. I always feel the pull and worry I will lose control. This time I decided rather than resist it, I would relax and state my intention. I said, “I am not going fast. I am slowing down.” The upward movement continued but slowed down significantly.

I could still see the trees and snow below me. It was a beautiful place, this mountain region I found myself in. It reminded me of pictures of Siberia. The wind was howling and quite strong, though. Still moving upward, I continued to look down but then I felt myself come up against a barrier and stop. I felt it and it was pliable like a latex balloon only softer. I pushed against it and it gave way. I pushed harder and broke through it. I popped my head through but my vision blacked out so I couldn’t see. I even said, “Why can’t I see?” I crawled through the other side. The whirling wind was gone and it was peaceful. I felt encouraged by this and began to fly through this empty space I found myself in.

My vision eventually came back and I was looking through trees again. I could see a city in front of me. It looked like some kind of hardware store next to a strip mall. I didn’t recognize it so went to investigate. As I moved closer the city vanished and it was all trees again. Curious, I kept flying and hit yet another membrane-type barrier. I pushed against it and broke through without issue.

Unfortunately, this time the blackout that resulted caused me to shift back into my physical body.

Considerations

My friend on FB posted yesterday that he had set the intention to meet certain people and done so twice. I think that post caused me to somehow meet up with him, either that or he set the intention to meet with me. It was pretty cool, though. I have seen him two other times in astral which is a near record for me. I rarely encounter people who are not family in astral that frequently.

The membrane is a first for me. I have heard others’ accounts of encountering such a membrane but never had I encountered one. Now in this OBE I run into two! It was quite interesting to feel. It felt stretchy and pliable, almost like I was inside a balloon made of latex-type material. It seemed like what it might feel like to break out of an egg or an amniotic sac! I had hoped that something new and interesting would be on the other side of it but it only seemed to be more of the same. I’m not sure then why it was even encountered. Weird.

Flood Dream and OBE

Last night I struggled to fall asleep. It could have been my overactive mind which was going a 100 miles an hour. I was thinking of really random stuff, too. One minute I would be thinking of something going on presently and another I would jump to somewhere in my past. Even when my Companion stepped in and tried to help me clear my mind I would end up somewhere else in this lifetime mulling over this or that. I also had songs stuck in my head, which is infuriating when trying to get to sleep.

Sometime around midnight I finally drifted off.

Dream: Flood

I was with a male friend, a patriarch-type, driving/flying down a country road. We had to stop because the road leading to the place we were going was flooded. I wanted to drive through it but my friend said we had to wade through it because the water was too deep. I wanted nothing to do with getting wet and kept thinking of how cold the water was and how uncomfortable it would make me. He told me there was no other way and I recall watching myself wade through waist high, sometimes chest high, water to go to this white, plain looking house. My friend looked a lot like my neighbor, which was odd to me.

Then we were walking along the river. The water was up high. My friend pointed to a little chipmunk who was waterlogged on the banks of the river. He was exhausted but alive. He picked it up and tossed it back into the river and it swam back to the bank in a hurry, gulping water and panting. The message from my friend was something about how the chipmunk would just keep repeating the pattern regardless of how many times he was tossed back in.

Interpretation

This was a dream discussion with my Companion. I am avoiding certain emotions related to life issues (flooded road). I am told I must personally confront them (wade in the water) and doing so would lead to a breakthrough (feeling cold) and a spiritual rebirth (wet). Part of the discussion was how if I keep clinging to the past (chipmunk) and repeating patterns from it (returning to bank repeatedly) then I will get nowhere.

Dream: College Symposium

I was heading to class at a university but the door of the classroom had a note that class would be meeting elsewhere but it didn’t post the room number. Another woman approached and seemed to no where to go. I followed her but then seemed to morph into her telling the other me where the new class was.

We arrived and I met with my friend Sophia. We sat in auditorium style seats and waited for class to start. There was great anticipation here but I don’t know why. It seemed we were both excited and Sophia was telling me about something I can’t recall now.

Interpretation

This dream is all about personal growth and anxieties related to it.

OBE: Warts

I woke up wide-awake, my mind very active once again. The thoughts going through my mind were more incidents from the past that seemed random and unrelated. I recognized this and thought, “I’m doing some kind of life review again.” I remember my Companion asking me if I would allow him to take over. I didn’t hesitate to say, “Yes.” Then I started to feel my heart, third-eye and crown light up with energy. It created this warm area from my heart to the top of my head and it lulled me to sleep.

Somehow I ended up very lucid and suddenly realized I was laying in bed next to a naked man. I sat up and looked at the man in front of me. My vision would go in and out as I blinked my eyes and I felt extremely exhausted, fighting to stay away and aware. I knew I was OOB and was aware of my Companion speaking to me telepathically. He was not the man on the bed, though.

My Companion was asking me to explore the situation. His intentions became mine, like we were the same person. His thoughts were separate from mine and recognized as such but there was no lag between what he thought/intended and what I did. I didn’t question any of this. It felt natural.

I reached out and touched the man, my vision blinking on vividly. He looked like my current husband but I never saw the man’s face so I don’t know. I recall my Companion commenting on what was being seen. He said something about the body hair and the body suddenly seemed to have lots of body hair. I passed my hand lightly over the body from head to torso feeling the hair. The sensation was very real and again I thought about being OOB and taking over but then suddenly felt exhausted and without motivation to do anything but remain where I was.

Then I recall hearing there was no hair at all on the body and instantly it had no hair. I recall feeling the difference and noting it and discussing my preference and why I preferred one over the other. I preferred the hairy body to the hairless one.

Then the body suddenly was covered in red bumps likes warts. The body also resembled that of my ex-husband then for some reason. I recoiled from it and felt myself return to my body.

I was congratulated by my Companion upon my return to my body but I couldn’t recall why. Maybe it was some sort of test?

Then I remember what he asked me prior to the OBE. He had asked if he could “take over”. This didn’t mean he took over my body but that I followed his lead without question. On considering the experience it seems like I was practicing doing this. His thoughts/intentions became mine. Instead of me running the show I completely gave control over to him. This takes a huge amount of trust on my part.

The symbolism is interesting. Hair has to do with sexuality and one’s attitude. The loss of it may indicate a fear of losing my sexual attractiveness. Warts have to do with acknowledging the beauty within me and is a message to stop punishing myself. Since the body with the warts looked like my ex’s it could be that I am still holding onto something from that relationship and punishing myself for it.

Other Random Memories

I am still having dream amnesia, the kind where I will suddenly recall an entire dream sequence only to have it immediately vanish from my mind. This morning I had such a dream memory. I can’t remember it now (of course) but I knew instantly what it meant. It seems that I am being prepared to confront certain life problems that up to this point I have avoided confronting. Most of these issues are related to my family and the relationships I have with certain family members.

Issues coming up for resolution (yay?):

Family drama.

My sister and her husband (my first cousin) recently got evicted from their house for non-payment of rent of a substantial amount. Prior to this, my sister had reached out to me just to reconnect (or so I thought) and asked for money for rent after several days of positive interaction. I recoiled from this, sensing an old pattern of hers, and told her no. Several days later I found out from my mom they were evicted before my sister reconnected with me. I realized she never intended to use the money for rent. I was sad and disappointed that my sister had not changed.

Currently my sister and her family live with my mom because they couldn’t find a place to rent. My mom was against it but was pressured to let them move in by her husband. Her husband creates a whole other issue in and of itself, too. The last time I visited the energy was so unsettled and jagged at my mom’s that I knew I would not be able to visit for a while. We are opting not to spend Easter at my mom’s this year because of it.

On top of that, my sister texted me Wednesday to tell me she and her husband have been asked to be on a TLC show about cousin couples. She asked me if I would consent to an interview. After thinking about it I knew it would be a bad idea. In fact, the whole thing feels bad to me. I told her no and felt her energetic reaction which was not good. My mom consented to an interview, though. Supposedly my sister and her husband could make a substantial amount of money for being on the show.

As you can imagine this is really testing me with all the spiritual changes I am going through now. Testing whether I can remain balanced throughout all of this drama. My little self wants to be angry about how “unfair” it is that my sister be given so much money and opportunity when she obviously doesn’t deserve it. It wants to punish her and be “right” in some way. I am constantly having to rein in these reactive thoughts because they come with a very heavy, nasty feeling emotion. It seems like all this family stuff is coming now in order to test me, to see if I can avoid falling into old patterns and behaviors. Mostly I am handling it by avoidance at the moment but I know this won’t work forever. Thankfully, my Companion interjects whenever I begin to fall into old reactive thought patterns. I listen and the thoughts/feeling vanish. It is the most amazing thing but I don’t know how I will respond when face-to-face with my family. We’ll see I guess!

My marriage.

Actually everything is “good” on the surface. It is the stuff underneath that still needs resolution. Neither of us is pushing to resolve anything. I won’t go into anymore detail than that.

 

 

 

4 OBEs, Same Theme

Slept nearly 12 hours last night! Whoa, right!? The K-Index was in and out of the yellow, too. Sometimes I sleep more with geomagnetic storms, sometimes not. Regardless, I had some dreams and a series of OBEs early this morning.

Dream: Bouncing Bullet

Dreamed of this small, bullet-sized ball that when thrown would ricochet off of everything. If it happened to hit someone, it would act like a bullet, piercing their skin and potentially killing them. Knowing this, I picked up a ball and threw it as hard as I could into the wall. It began to bounce off of everything with such speed I couldn’t track it. Someone warned me that I could die. As if to demonstrate my lack of fear, I put my hand to make sure the ball hit me and said, “I don’t care if I die.”

Interpretation

I have repressed anger (bullets) that could result in hurting someone or me. It don’t care and purposefully throw it and put myself in harm’s way. This indicates that I am reckless with my anger to the point that I am willing to accept the consequences of it no matter the end result.

sprout-008.jpg

Dream: Burning Lettuce and Asparagus

In this dream I was inside a women’s prison unit. I’m not sure why I was there but I took an interest in them and began to try and get to know the inmates. One inmate asked me point blank, “Why are you being so friendly?” I said to her, “I want to get to know you better.” The feeling from her was one of distrust and animosity which was understandable. She had committed crimes, some pretty bad ones (murder), and was being punished for them. I recall feeling immense compassion for her and wanting to hug her but I didn’t because her energy was not receptive.

Then I was outside with the female inmates. They were cooking food on open grills and enjoying their temporary freedom. I looked at the grills and instead of seeing the grill with coals underneath I saw a tiny garden. In the garden there were new sprouts and they were being cooked by a fire. Half the sprouts were lettuce and half were asparagus. I was horrified that they were cooking the garden and said, “You will kill all the plants!” I saw some of the sprouts were being spared. The others had small fired burning at their base and had a roasted look. One large asparagus shoot was not on fire. I said, “I don’t like asparagus anyway.”

Interpretation

The first part of this dream is me attempting to get to know other aspects of myself, aspects that maybe I am not proud of or who have done “bad” things. My Shadow self. The second half seems to be a consideration that my hard work (garden), abundance (lettuce) and prosperity (asparagus) are being destroyed (fire) before they ever completely materialize (sprouts). I try to make less of the situation by saying I disliked prosperity (asparagus).

4 OBEs

I woke up in between the dreams from a Kundalini dream. The Kundalini had been raging in my heart chakra and I said to someone, “I can’t resist it!” When I woke up I heard, “Then embrace it.”

Then I said to my guidance, “I want to project.” Not long after I entered into the in-between and began to hear noises-off, specifically a radio playing very loudly next to my head. I experienced almost no vibrations and found it difficult to tell if I had phased (gone OOB) or not. This occurred with all 4 OBEs.

In all of the OBEs I was in my bedroom, sat up OOB, tried to exit my bedroom and then re-entered my body. Re-entry happened at the exact moment of exiting the bedroom. It appears I was being told not to leave the vicinity of my sleeping body, but I’m not sure why. Two times I tried exiting through my bedroom door. The first time I re-entered as I was opening it. The second time I had actually opened the door but had a blanket wrapped around my foot keeping me from moving. In one another attempt to exit, I tried to leave via the window but the window was closed. I opened it, removed the screen and then began to jump/fly out the window. I never passed through the threshold. Finally, I tried to get to the window again and shifted back into my body before I could even touch the window.

In 3 of the OBEs my vision was on but the room was almost pitch black. The last OBE (the one where I opened the window) my vision came on and I saw the early morning light coming in the window. I began to sing to raise my vibration but I didn’t need to. My energy level was solid. There were thoughts in this OBE that movement was taking too long. I should be able to think myself to any location I desired. I felt to be slowed down. This all became apparent as I was opening the window. I knew I should have been able to just move through it but I was forced to use it like I would in physicality.

I had similar thoughts about movement in the other OBEs but I was blocked in the same way. I had to open the door. I couldn’t just go through it. Was it belief that trapped me in my bedroom? Was it to help me see how I feel trapped in life for similar reasons? Or was it to remind me that in physical reality we can’t just jump past the hard, boring or otherwise unwanted steps, we have to move through it all?

When I awoke the song, Stay With Me, came into my mind. I recognized a feeling from the early dreams of the night. The feeling told me that there was still some work to do at deeper levels. I need to handle my resistance to life. I heard something about being a part of the collective, reminding me that I am not here for just myself. It was not an accusation of being “selfish” by any means but a reminder that there are still remnants of the Ego, or small self, that are interfering and must be handled. I saw a visual of cobwebs sticking to me. They are extremely sticky. You can pull them off only to have them stick to your hands or some other body part. I guess that’s how these last remnants of the self are, too. They just adhere to another part and are difficult to get rid of.

 

 

OBE: One With All

The last few nights I have been asking to go OOB but my sleep was too interrupted. My youngest kept waking me up saying, “My mouth hurts”. Turns out he has a massive third molar coming in! Poor little guy and on his 3rd birthday, too. 😦 This morning, though, I was able to sleep in and was blessed with a spectacular OBE.

OBE: One With All

I was traveling in a car listening to a conversation in which I was deeply immersed. It was about the Shift and my role in assisting with the ascension so you can see why I was so focused on what was being said. Unfortunately I only recall snippets of what I was told. Suddenly, I noticed the car was drifting off the road. I nudged my husband and said to him, “_______, you are falling asleep!” What is funny is that I called him by my sister’s name. He just looked at me like a zombie and I knew he would soon veer off the road and crash. I laughed out loud for using my sister’s name and looked ahead through the window. I felt my focus shift toward the conversation and knew I would leave my body. I decided I didn’t care if my husband crashed the car and let myself be pulled out the car window and toward the sounds of the voices I was listening to.

The disconnect was seamless and I found myself floating above a man standing next to a tee-pee like formation of wooden poles. He was laying metal sheets along the outside to make a circular pyramid-like structure that resembled the top of a space capsule. Around him were conical shaped tents (tee-pees?) sitting upon sandy, packed soil. Another man was standing nearby listening to the other man talk.

I was still feeling the dream-like feeling of sleep and knew I had to make the decision to stop focusing on what the man was saying, but I really, really wanted to hear what he was about to say. I recall him saying, “The purpose of disconnection is….” My curiosity was really strong but I resisted, setting the intention to move out of the scene. When I did, his voice faded and it was as if I peeled a section of the scene down like one would peel bark off a tree. Then I “stepped” through the opening.

On the other side I found myself inside my old bedroom at my mom’s house. I felt very energized and solid. A surge of child-like joy hit me and I began to float around, my vision clearing and then fading to black in a strobe-like pattern. Eventually my vision stabilized and I moved out of the bedroom. There was still a discussion that could be heard in the background but I knew it was between another version of myself and my Council. Whatever they were talking about would be inaccessible to me for the most part so I opted to enjoy the brief OOB vacation I had been granted.

My vision full-on, I moved toward the front door. There was a backpack hanging on it but I just took note of it and then opened the door. The brilliant sunlight and bright blue sky greeted me. I was super pleased to not be trapped inside the house and to be able to experience the vivid colors of astral daylight.

I flew out the window and floated motionless face up looking at the clouds and sky taking it all in. As I floated there I surrendered to the experience fully. When I did this I was swept up and seemed to swirl clockwise in a vortex of energy, up, up, up into the sky. I lost all sense of having body or form. My vision stayed full-on the entire time and I saw the clouds come closer and closer. I said aloud, “I am one with everything. I am one with all.”

I thought I would be swept up into space and beyond because my intention was to experience Oneness. To my surprise my vision remained full-on and I continued to see a cloud-filled sky. I blinked and when I opened my eyes again I was back in my bedroom on the ceiling looking down. I saw something glimmer as my vision turned on and I experienced a brief shock of surprise which made me giggle. Then I reached down and touched a smooth metal surface and grabbed hold. My vision turned on an I was holding what looked like a metal purse but in hindsight it was obviously a metal lock. I took the “purse” with me as I left the room and headed for the front door. I recall a brief dialogue with someone here about the purse and how heavy it was. I remember looking at it and it being bright red. I put it down when I realized it was actually a lock.

When I was standing at the front door I heard a familiar noise and waited expectantly, knowing my dog was coming. From around the corner my Australian Shepard, Trooper, came running toward me. He looked like he had in old age. His whining and grunting was familiar. He use to sound like that when he knew I was going to take him for a run.

I opened the door and he ran out and sniffed the ground like dogs do. I went up to him and greeted him, kneeling down and letting him lick and jump all over me. I petted him and hugged him close. Then he transformed into the younger version of himself right in front of my eyes. It was so nice to see him again!

There was a Knowing that wherever I was it was a place where all things I loved and cherished in this lifetime were accessible to me – past, present and future all in one. I knew my Trooper would always be there and always had been and he was just as real as he was in life. In fact, I knew it was the real him there with me at that moment, or at least his essence/Spirit, because he was a part of me. All of it was me.

I began to head up the driveway for a run, floating a few feet above the ground. I thought about grabbing for his leash and thought, “You don’t need a leash here. You never really needed a leash, did you?” It had been my own fear of losing him that necessitated the leash. Here, in this place, it was obvious to me that he was never lost to me and that my fear was unfounded. I recognized the fear had been real to me in life and saw its lesson. Had I trusted my heart and what I Knew then the fear would have fallen away and what I was experiencing here, in this place I found myself in, would have manifested in the physical.

I could hear Trooper running alongside me as I flew.  Looking ahead, I could see the blue sky and felt pure joy. Oh how I missed our runs together!

Unfortunately, I could feel the energy swirling around me as I was swept up and back into my body. My heart was pounding. I silently thanked my guidance for the gift.

Considerations

The main messages of this experience came in the form of the purse/lock and the realization of the place I found myself in and its purpose for me.

The symbolism of the purse/lock is unmistakable. A purse represents one’s identity and sense of self. It was red which has to do with security and safety. Since the purse was a lock it was a message to me that my self-identity is my security. I cling to it and the familiarity and safety it provides. I hand it off when I feel how heavy and cumbersome it is indicating my willingness to let it go.

The realization about the place was more of a feeling/Knowing. It was so obvious in the experience. It was without time. A place of pure creation. My creation. I suppose it could be called my heaven because it provides me with what heaven would provide – a familiar, happy, care-free place filled with moments and memories I cherish from this lifetime. I am certain I have many more such places available to me, too. I know one is in the mountains and another in a city I have no memory of in this lifetime.

It reminds me of the movie The Five People You Meet in Heaven.

 

OBE: City of Light

Happy Spring Equinox!! I didn’t get much sleep last night. For some reason I had a super active dreamstate early on in the night, which is unusual for me. The following dreams all occurred prior to 1am.

Dream: Raped in India

Very vivid dream about protesting sexual crimes against women in India. I was with a group of women protesters who were outraged after hearing the story from a young woman who had recently been married. It was not her husband that raped her, though, but a group of men. We (me and the group I was with) were ushering her to safety up flights of emergency stairs on the outside of a building. I don’t recall much else in this dream except a degraded feeling and tidbits of a conversation about how to handle and recover from a brutal sexual assault. There was also a feeling of hopelessness at overcoming some of the beliefs of society in relation to men and their “rights” over women’s bodies and lives.

Lucid to OBE: City of Light

I was a teacher standing outside with other teachers with our groups of students. It was some kind of drill and we were waiting to go back inside. I realized I was dreaming straight away and decided to go back inside to find my water bottle. So I thought myself there and popped up inside the teacher’s lounge. The principal stopped me to ask me what had happened and reassured me I was not in trouble. Apparently after I left the students dispersed before they were suppose to and it was the fault of one teacher in particular.

Losing interest, I chose to fly away from the scene, lifting into the air and following a path through a park that I seemed to know well. It was very green with a wide dirt path in the center. I flew over the path and saw a parked car with a man peeking out from the inside. I knew he had slept in his car that night. I saw a river and very tall poplar trees. Everything was very green.

I had memories of being in this park  that I was recalling as I flew over it. Most are lost to me now but I recall camping there and the memories made me smile. Yet I have no recollection of such a park in this lifetime. Perhaps it was from another lifetime or other astral travels?

Still flying I came to a very large, clean and white city. The first thing I noticed was this gigantic building that resembled billowing clouds. It had a spiral staircase and large, white pillars. In my memory the staircase twisted and turned to create what appeared to be a giant number 8. The building was so tall it seemed to descend from the sky itself. The white of the building seeming to sparkle with glitter like a jewel and it was surrounded by a golden hue.

In front of the building was a wide, shallow pool of water that ran from the building in a straight line and then cascaded in a small waterfall down to the city below. The river of water was surrounded on both sides with white rock and was most definitely man made. It reminded me of the national mall in Washington, D.C. but the water was crystal clear and breathtakingly beautiful.

nationalmall

National Mall

On either side of the water were tall trees bright with Spring foliage. It was a glorious sight to behold and I floated there over the water looking at the building that seemed to descend from the sky and felt joyful and free. It seemed to me that this place was meant to be populated, that I had been there before and it was bustling with life.  I said to my guidance, “Where are the people? I want to see people. Where is everyone?”  I turned and looked behind me scanning for signs of movement but saw nothing but a quiet city. There was a bridge just beyond where the water flowed into a small waterfall to continue on its way. To the left was a church with a steeple. I flew over to it and landed on top of the steeple.

I was very aware that I was on top of a church and I had a thought that I was visiting a city of angels, a city of Light. In fact, I felt surrounded by angels though I couldn’t see them. The place just felt angelic, as if saturated with Divine Light.

I floated up with the intent to land in the water and felt my light body being pulled up quickly. I said, “I don’t want to go up. I want to stay near the ground.” I grew heavy and landed in the water as I intended, walking through it and enjoying the feeling of the cool water on my bare feet.

Then I heard my daughter calling my name from outside of the OBE. I didn’t want to go, though, and resisted the pull back to my body. It was like this place, this city of Light, was beckoning me to stay there and I so wanted to, but my daughter’s voice was too powerful a pull for me and I slowly returned to the dream scene I had just left. Then I quickly shifted from there back into my body and woke up.

Interpretation

The first dream was likely a result of something I felt prior to bed and so I was exploring the feeling in dreamtime.

The first thing I notice about the OBE is that I want to put my feet in the water. That has been a theme coming up in my dreams lately. In one I was actually sitting with my bare feet in a shallow pan of water. I seem drawn to walk barefoot in water over and over and that is the main thing I did in this OBE, too. I suspect it has to do with cleansing, healing and purification. Considering I was in a city of Light and felt to be surrounded by angels, the healing and rejuvenation part makes sense. Since I am seeking out my water bottle prior to the OBE, which also represents rejuvenation and healing, then this conclusion seems accurate.

The church indicates I am feeling a need for spiritual nourishment, the steeple indicates I am holding onto hope for success. I am pleased that I chose to stay grounded rather than flying off rather than being fearful of the pull upward. I am also pleased that I was excitedly looking for others, almost longing for them. Usually I do not care if others are present in my OBEs or not.

It is interesting to me that I returned to the dream and then to my body before I woke up. I recall all the sensations of being OOB like normal, though.