Dream: Symbol in the Sky

I am just documenting these dreams.

Dream: Memory Sifting

I was aware of the purpose of this dream when I awoke. It was merely me sifting through memories (sorting them).

I was sitting in a van with my husband who was in the driver’s seat. We had packed a cooler in the back and were heading somewhere together. He pulled up next to another van. One of my close friends was at the wheel. I saw her and said, “Let’s invite her and her kids!” My husband looked at me and said, “No, I don’t think so.” He pulled away and I looked out the window at my friend who had a curious look on her face.

As he drove, I was angry at him and told him, “I won’t go with you.” I crawled to the back, opened the cooler and began making a sandwich for myself. I knew he was taking me to “his people” and I didn’t want to associate with them.

Then I had a visual of a mobile home whose roof and walls had been blown away revealing only a sofa and a few pieces of furniture. I knew this represented my old high school friend’s dad who passed away long ago. For some reason I thought the house had been destroyed by fire but there was no evidence of it. In the dream I felt sorry for my friend but decided to put it aside since it was her life, not mine.

I materialized into another scene. This time I was inside a home with a bunch of women. It was a lactation group. There was an odd sensation then of my milk coming in (only a nursing mom would know the feeling) and I began to massage my breasts to help the milk come down. lol I was hit with all kinds of inadequacy feelings at this time – I’m not a good mother because I don’t want to breastfeed. I’m selfish. I let my children down. And on and on. I felt unfairly criticized by others for my opinions and choices. It seemed like the other mother’s in the group disapproved and I wanted to do what was right despite feeling utterly exhausted and unable.

Then I was looking down at a plate in front of me. It looked like it contained little wads of dough shaped like large peanuts. There were two labeled sections. One said, “Regular milk” and the other said, “Breast milk.” I looked at it and was a bit grossed out thinking I was looking at dried up milk pieces.

The women each had plates similar to mine. Some had these bits in both categories, some in only one or the other. They were sharing their plates with each other – eating pieces of this dried milk. I almost gagged in the dream at the thought of it. lol

I tried to walk past unseen, hoping to not be noticed, but the leader stopped me and asked me for my plate. I saw very distinctly the different proportions of milk globs on my plate. The “Regular Milk” category had three times that of the “Breast Milk” one. The woman took a piece from both and then mentioned how the breast milk one tasted so much better and was healthier. I gagged when I saw her eating it. Then she asked me to taste and to my surprise I did.

Eating it brought in a flood of memories and realizations. I saw that my choices should not have been judge so harshly. I saw that had it not been for formula that my oldest and youngest children would have likely have been malnourished (or needed a wet nurse). I had PPD after my daughter’s birth and was suffering from major anemia and recovering from a c-section after the birth of my youngest. My daughter couldn’t latch on and was born three weeks early and had major digestive issues (reflux). I saw that I had given what I could. I saw that I mourned the loss of my milk.

In the dream I saw my breasts again and felt the familiar sensation of the milk coming down. I missed it and grieved the loss of it every time.

I awoke upset and feeling very sad. I miss having a baby. I miss the experience of being that close, that loved, that needed. There is nothing like it. Now my youngest is growing up and needing me less and less. I can’t have anymore children. Even though I wouldn’t want one really anyway, a part of me would have a dozen more children just to feel that bond/connection again; just to experience pregnancy and all that comes with it good and bad all over again. I feel old now, dried up and withering away. My body no longer able to give and sustain life. It is such an integral part of being a woman. I never realized it until now.

It is apparent to me that I need to let myself grieve the passing of this part of me but also embrace the new role I play in the lives of my children. Just because I can’t birth anymore, just because they are growing, doesn’t make me any less a mother.

Dream: Symbol in the Sky

I was flying along a road in the middle of an estuary. The water was a vivid blue and there were people all around fishing. There was a sense that this was a special time or event.

Suddenly I caught a glimpse of the sun, except it was not the sun. It was a very large symbol in the sky. It had always been there but caught my attention because I suddenly noticed the outer petals of this symbol were glowing a very pale, bluish color. The blue was the same color as the water below – a kind of blue-green or aqua. It was absolutely beautiful and I could not take my eyes off of it. I said to my friend, “It is glowing!” In my mind I knew this was not the sun, it was a space craft of some sort.

Then the scene around me changed. The estuary vanished and I was in the middle of an ancient city, one that was familiar but I couldn’t place. The buildings were of an ancient architecture and all had a light, pale gold color to them. As if the stone they were made from was molded and smoothed.

There was a catastrophic event taking place. The sky was grumbling despite the sun being out. Huge chunks of hail bigger than my fist, some even larger than that, were falling from the sky and causing devastation to the structures. People were in terror, running through the streets yelling to me to take cover. I just stood, looking up at the symbol in the sky, watching it. It hovered like a space craft and moved, morphing into a luminous, blue snake across the sky. I was in awe of it and felt completely and utterly at peace. I knew no harm would come to me. All around me the chaos continued. Buildings began to crumble, water flooded in and covered the city. Yet still I remained, unharmed, separate from the scene, watching as the aqua-blue colored snaked through the sky and hid behind the clouds.

When I awoke I knew the symbol I saw had a name but I couldn’t remember it. I also knew it resembled the symbols for the chakras but I wasn’t sure which chakra. The color was bluish, but I was certain it was not the throat chakra. The crown then? No. I am not sure which one but the symbolism was not lost to me. This chakra was opening in me, bringing in ancient knowledge that was once lost. My guidance confirmed. I still felt awe in remembering it. It was beautiful.

The symbol I saw was most similar to this one but with petals (no dots) on the outside, like a lotus, which is why I connected it to the chakras.


The image comes from this website. It is called the SriChakra:

The Shaktas, or followers of Shakti worship, consider the Sri Yantra, or Sri Chakra, the holiest among them.

The Sri Chakra is conceived as Shiva-Shakti. The diagram consists of a series of triangles around a small central circle called the bindu. Thebindu represents the Shiva-Shakti in union, from which the rest of the diagram, representing the cosmos, is evolved. Enclosing the bindu and superimposed on each other are the four Shiva triangles (Srikanthas) pointing upwards, and five Shakti triangles (Shiva-Yuvatis) pointing downwards. These constitute the nine dhatus, or basic categories, of the universe, evolving from the Supreme Mother represented by thebindu. The triangles are surrounded by two circles of lotuses, one with eight petals (Vasudala) and the other with sixteen petals (Kalasra). Outside these, are three circles (mekhalatraya) and a rectangular enclosure (Bhupura) of three lines for the whole figure, with entrances on the four sides.

It just so happens that this website links to an article about Tantric Yoga. lol





I’m Done With School

I woke myself up several times last night yelling in excitement, “I’m done with school!” Once, when I awoke, my Companion was there cheering me on. Too funny!

Now I know that as infinite spiritual Beings, we are never truly done with learning (school). So why was I so excited? What happened to bring up so much relief, so much exaltation at the very notion that I was finished with school?

My dreams suggest I have moved past a pivotal point in my spiritual journey. Specifically, a point I have revisited time and time again in my dreams: high school. There was a memorable dream last night where I was with a group of familiar high school classmates. I wore no makeup (big deal for me at that time in my life) and though at first I was very aware of what I was wearing, I didn’t care one bit about it. Even when someone spoke to me about my appearance I acted proud of how I appeared and bored with their criticism. Throughout the dream I was disconnecting from that group, individuating from the experience. Very significant I must say. I hope to never return to high school in my dreams again! lol

Dream: Peach Trees

In another dream I was in a large white van. A woman was driving. She got distracted and I remember saying to her, “Where are you going?” She tried to self-correct and ended up knocking the van on its side. We got out and she was frazzled and I told her to just sit it back up and we could drive out. While she was doing (she was lifting it up with her bare hands) this I wandered around in the field we were in. There were deep ruts in the grass and peach trees with very, over large peaches on them. They were almost ripe and I found them very irresistible.

When I walked over to the trees I ran into this obstruction. It was green and covered with dirt and grass but it was pliable and I realized that it was a mechanical structure used to hold back water. I was standing on the bottom of what use to be a lake. The water was dried up and the structure was the old floodgate.

I inspected the fruit and found it was not yet ripe. I saw a couple walking toward me and heard their toddler yelling with joy. I commented on it, saying he was a very joyous little boy. They looked at me like I was crazy. I ignored them.

Someone was with me and showed me a very large peach. She pointed to what looked like a knot of wood in the center of the peach. She said it was very rare. The peach had grown around the knot. I looked at it closely and saw what looked like a rotten patch. It fell off and I saw what seemed like decay inside.

Upon closer inspection I saw very clearly three very tiny, fragile baby birds. I said, “Oh, a bird built it’s nest inside!” I was upset because now that the peach was removed the mother may not find her babies. The woman with me set it inside a pile of dirt and rocks that was as high as we were. I heard her say the bird was a white starling. I saw in my mind a fairly large bird that was completely white. I wondered how it could even fit inside the tiny nest! The woman with me was reassuring me that the mother bird would find her babies and not abandoned them despite them being moved. I believed her and the dream ended.



I was reminded of the waterfall and damn symbolism that came up recently. Apparently I have overcome this obstacle and now the water has receded so I can see what is underneath. In this case it is peaches. Peaches symbolize pleasure and joy and indicate that things are going well. The nest of birds suggests the birth of something new that needs to be tended to. When I awoke I couldn’t recall the type of bird and heard very distinctly “starling”. I understood this to be related to Starseed but in an immature form – like a baby Starseed. I didn’t even know if such a bird existed – but it does.

Dream: Last 5 Minutes

I was attending a lecture inside what resembled a church. There were pews and everything and someone was standing behind a podium located at the front of the room. I heard the announcement that during the last 5 minutes someone would speak a few words. Part of what was said was, “For those of you who may like to leave early, it is advised that you stay.” At that moment I was trying to sneak out without being seen. Everyone looked at me and I made some excuse and went back to my seat.

Then three people in wheelchairs rolled in and surrounded me. I thought it odd that they were in wheelchairs and they made it impossible for me to leave.

Dream: Visiting Friend

This dream then reminded me of a previous dream in which we had a guest who was a college professor. The professor was familiar and had driven many miles to meet me (from Cambridge). I recognized him as someone who I have communicated with online and wondered why he was in my dream. This didn’t wake me up, though. I had a concern that he was romantically interested in me but this thought was dispelled quiet quickly. It was known that he only wished to help and I was reminded of the worth of the relationships which I am building at this time.

We had all retired to bed when I heard noise and got up to investigate. I walked around to the front of the house and saw the garage door had been opened. Then I ran into my mom (we were at her house). My mom was being very nasty in the dream – irritable. She said they only got 5 minutes of sleep. I said, “Only 15 minutes?” She said to me, “You didn’t listen to what I said. I said 5 minutes.”  The professor friend had been out with a female friend of his during the night and had not slept either. He was preparing to go for a hike. I remember looking at his boots and noting he wore brown, leather, hiking boots.

Dream: Transformation

After this morning’s Kundalini rising, I returned to sleep and fell into a vivid dream which I feel I should record.

Dream: Transformation

I was with family in a very large house, mansion maybe. My sisters and I were together with our brother. My brother and I had a very strong bond. We were “joined at the hip” and my sisters often commented about it and were suspicious about our deep connection.

Sometime later it occurred to us (me and my brother) that we were in love with each other and wanted a romantic relationship. I openly admitted this to my sisters and family, telling them that I didn’t care what they thought. It was empowering to follow my heart and ignore their objections.

The dream shifted and we were discussing a very unsettling family situation. A male family member and his wife mistreated their infant son and had four very vicious dogs. He also had a sporty vehicle he loved and kept immaculate. He and his wife often had violent arguments in front of their son, hitting each other, cursing, and yelling. This upset me because it was damaging the child. The child picked up this behavior and so treated others like this, even his own parents. It was not unusual for him to try to strangle his father in his sleep because this is what he had seen his father doing to his mother.

So we took the car and secretly sold it for $9,500, way beneath its value. We took one of the black, vicious dogs and made it docile – wiped its memory and made it like a new puppy. It became very loving, sensitive and cautious. At one point I picked up the baby boy and tried to cuddle with him. He did not know how to respond to hugs. It was like he had never had one. I decided to fix that with more love and hugs.

I took the now docile dog to my home to live because to send him back to his old home would likely lead to his demise. When I brought the dog into my home, the dog shifted into a young woman with long black hair. I showed her the house and the rooms of her siblings. She especially enjoyed her younger sister’s room and wanted to stay and explore the toys in it. She followed directions very well and thrived on love and attention.

She was very new to being a human – never been human before – so I was showing her how to be human. She really loved red wine, though, and often over indulged. I remember this causing upset in the family because she did not know how to control her consumption of wine.


I believe this dream is me trying to make sense of the Kundalini experience I had this morning. It is like a continuation of the lesson. I can see very clearly a transformation taking place within myself which is obvious in the dream. What is done to the baby, dog and car are happening to me in various ways. The young woman is the new me, or the me who needs training. She is like a blank slate and needs to be taught how to live in a human body. She tends to overindulge, however.

OBE: When the World Goes Dry

I was awakened this morning by my youngest. He crawled up into the crook of my neck and cuddled with me, stroking my arm and saying, “Mommy” over and over. Though I did not want to be awakened so early I couldn’t help but feel an overflowing of love for him. So sweet and full of love.

After getting up for a short while, I went back to lay in bed not intending to sleep. I should have known I would go OOB.

Lucid Dream: Flooded Past

Very briefly I remember my guide saying to me, “It’s not over yet.” This was in response to a brief panic I had because I felt completely disconnected spiritually from everything when I awoke.

Then I was at my old house in East Texas where I spent the first 9 years of my life. I was outside and my husband was with me. We were walking along the border of the property and there was a tall, wooden fence between it and the neighbor’s property.

I had in my hand a bowl of cereal. I remember looking into the bowl and seeing what looked like Raisin Bran without any raisins. Every so often I would take a spoonful of cereal and eat it. I remember tasting it even. It was good and slightly sweet.

I watched as my husband became more and more curious about the neighbor’s place. I could see over the fence and saw a tall, mansion-like house. I told him he could explore, that the neighbor’s wouldn’t care. The whole time I had a very carefree feeling and was eating cereal.

My husband jumped the fence and began walking around. I could see the neighbor come out of the house. I peeked over the fence and saw that it was not what I remembered on the other side. The was an entire village on the other side that appeared to be from another time. There were people going to and fro, busy with their lives and dressed in clothing that seemed from a long forgotten past. The road was gravel made of tiny, colorful pebbles, and the buildings were aged wood. The house was the only thing that appeared to be more modern – massive and white with columns in the front.

I kept calling his name trying to get him to come back, but he never did. So I jumped the fence to find him. It didn’t take long before he was next to me. I was telling him excitedly about my memories from childhood and pointed toward where the pond was where my sisters and I use to fish. I saw that the pond was flooded, the water way higher than I had ever seen. I commented on this saying, “I have never seen it that high and I’ve lived here all my life….well I was gone a while…my sister caught a 9.5lb black bass in that pond…” I told this to the neighbor and my husband continued to explore, going straight to the flooded area.

My husband continued and I followed, telling him to be careful because the flooded area was not deep but once it got past a certain point it would be. I pointed out the cars that were parked in some of the flooded area and then pointed farther past them where a line of police cars was parked, marking the deep zone.

He ignored me and waded into the water. It went nearly to his waist. I tiptoed around it and found a way to keep dry, but my feet did get a bit water logged. I managed to find a trail and met him on the other side. Then I looked up and saw the mobile home of the couple who would let us fish on their part of the pond. I noticed there was another double wide next to it and then looked out on the pond remembering how much I loved that time in my life.

Though this dream was not fully lucid, I recall gaining lucidity when I noted the cereal and when I saw the flooded pond and old mobile home.

Then I was flying along side a thick forest of pine trees. The pines were not fully grown and very obviously planted purposefully. I recall this was common in the area where I lived. They would clearcut a forest of pines and then replant saplings in rows only to come back when they matured and clearcut them again. I knew without a doubt I was OOB at this point.


OBE: When the World Goes Dry

I felt the very obvious vibrations and my physical body at this point. I also heard lots of noises-off, like my children were having a party outside my door. I wanted to go back to the pine trees and OOB. Something was calling me back to them. It took a while but I got up the nerve to try to exit my body. When I did, it felt like pillows were piled on top of me and I threw them off one by one and escaped the heavy pull of my body and the bed.

I went to the door and it was unfamiliar. It looked like the door to a barn. It was green and had a big cross across it. I thought I would not get through but when I attempted to go through it, the door vanished and I came out on the other side.

I went down the stairs and looked at my arms and hands because I could feel the energy was unstable and I did not want to go back to my body yet. Then I began to sing over and over the words, “I will see when the world goes dry.” I have no idea why I was singing those words.

I went out the front door and my vision instantly cleared and I saw an entire neighborhood that was not familiar. It was beautiful, with cobblestone streets and houses that were much more grand than any I had seen. I turned to my right and saw the road led to a tiny, European city. I decided to go that direction.

As I moved I found I could not touch the ground. I was floating and being pulled upward despite my resistance. I hovered over a group of people gathered in the city center. They were all sitting on or standing by their cars. It reminded me of when we use to go to the park to watch the fireworks. We would drive up and sit on the hood of the car and wait.

Fascinated, I looked down at all of them and noticed they saw me. A woman and her small boy caught my attention and I noticed the woman pointed at me. I wanted to go down to them and talk to them but every time I tried my astral body was sucked upward.

This didn’t upset me in the least. I was happy and enjoyed being in the air floating above them. I was still singing, too. “I will see when the world goes dry.”


I came back into my body with the words and melody still in my head. I kept thinking the reason the people were looking at me was because I resembled fireworks. Who knows, though.

The lucid dream was very vivid to me and I thought about it for a bit. Only when I wrote it just now did I recognize the message it was bringing me.

The flooded pond was from my childhood. So I suspect there repressed emotions from this time that need to be looked at. The police cars are symbolic of control and authority but when I see them I think “caution” and I want to stay away from them. In the dream I recall the mobile home of my neighbors. They were my parent’s best friends – a couple with no children. This particular man was the one my sister said molested her. As I wrote this dream I thought, “That is the reason I was there. There are repressed emotions/memories from that time in my life.”

I also remembered that earlier in the night I had a dream with police cars and officers in it. I was walking and came upon an RV. Inside, I was in a tiny cramped kitchen with my guide and then I was trying to get the RV to run, looking under the hood and seeing that a wire had been purposefully cut. The police were helping us.

The bowl of cereal is from a past OBE.

As for the song I was singing, the only thing I can make of it is that when there is a flood the water hides what is underneath. Only when the water recedes are you able to see what is hidden.

Good News, Bad News

So tons going on over here. I’m still not caught up on everything I have learned/Remembered/Experienced. Too much going on. For me that is a GOOD thing. The only bad things right now are 1. I can’t keep up with the inflow and 2. my wrist hurts from too much typing. LOL

Bad news for this blog: I’m going into private mode this time next week. You may have already noticed a down tick in the number of posts. I’m not going to give you a heads up close to the day I do it either, so this is your warning. 🙂

Good news: My guidance is encouraging me to channel more. I was blown away by just how much came through and out of me yesterday. Most of which I could not remember until I went back and listened. I typed up a transcript for the longer one (8 minutes worth) which is why my wrist hurts. Probably not going to do that again. lol

Last week I had a post ready to publish about channeling but hesitated and then ended up posting about something related. I didn’t have to guts to post it. Now it is evident why I was urged to post it in the first place.

I ended up posting a spin on it instead – this post on energy exchange.

The original post was inviting you all to ask me questions. To prompt me. When I get asked questions, the information will just pour out of me when I am channeling. If I don’t get asked questions then I get whatever They came to give and that’s that.

Well, yesterday’s channeling frenzy helped me understood why that is. If I were to pay that much attention to what was coming through then it would interrupt the flow and the connection would either be lost entirely or have to be reinforced. To pay attention = Ego interference (especially for me). The Light Language plays a very integral part in the channeling process. First, it establishes a connection, then it acts as a buffer for Ego interference. So, if I begin to pay too much attention it immediately shifts to LL (Light Language). Pretty smart move by them wouldn’t you say?

I also thing the crown chakra plays an important role in keeping the Ego at bay. When it is activated like it was I go into a kind of La-La Land. My brain doesn’t function normally and I end up floating up into dreamland, near the edge of oblivion. Oh wait, that’s called trance. lol Yep, that’s what happens. It is just magically beautiful, too.

So in order to get information that may otherwise not come through, I need prompting. Questions. Specific. The more specific, the better. Ideally, I need a two-way flow going (ie energy exchange). Any person sitting with me asking the questions for me to channel answers to would be best. Well, I don’t have anyone who I would trust to do that. My husband would inhibit all flow of energy in me. He would be a stopper of energy. Not a good thing. Unfortunately, I have no one near by that would serve well in that capacity at all. Bummer.

But it will work via email, internet, social media. So that is what I will offer. This is on the urging of my guidance but I assure you it is quite an enjoyable experience for me. In fact, it fascinates me. Another good thing if you know me. Mystery = fun puzzle to solve. lol

We’ll see what, if anything, comes of it. I do have three children and lots of interference all around. I will add that it has been a very long time since I have wanted to do anything like this.


3 OBEs, One Lesson

For the past couple of days I have been crashing in the evening and sleeping pretty deeply to the point of barely being able to remember my dreams. The energy sensations are still present but they have decreased substantially. It is mostly my heart, third-eye and crown which continuously buzz but I only notice them when I settled down to meditate or have time alone (which is rare). For example, right now my heart is this massive expansion of warmth that wraps around from front to back. 🙂

Despite the decrease in Kundalini energy fluctuations I am still carrying around tons more energy than I use to. The energy of Earth is intense right now as well. The recent shooting in Nice, France confirms that others are feeling this even if they don’t realize it. I don’t follow the news, I avoid it like the plague. Despite this, I still sense these tragic events and it does affect me. I have been dealing with my familiar “avoidance of life” pattern since yesterday afternoon. This pattern is linked to multiple issues for me – depression, suicidal thoughts, irritability,  melancholy, whining and complaining, and inability to handle stressful situations (outright avoidance or refusal to participate). So it is no wonder I am sleeping more and no wonder that I had multiple OBEs this morning.

OBE: Shatter Resistant Glass

I was awakened at 7am by my youngest banging on my bedroom door. I got up and was grumpy (sigh) and yelled at my husband to come get him. Then I went back to bed telling my Team, “I want to project.” I heard back, “What is your intent?” Hahahah I said, “To get OOB.” 🙂

It was not long before I heard noises-off indicating that I could exit my body. It was a conversation that was going on in the other room and I sensed that every light was on in the house. I could mentally see the entire scene outside my bedroom door. For some reason I had it in my mind that there was a party going on. With this there was a shift into another potential reality stream.

In this reality stream I chose to remain single and was with one of my ex-boyfriends. We were hanging out with friends, drinking, smoking pot, doing all the things we use to do together. Everyone was intoxicated and talking, laughing, having a good time. All of this I experienced in an instant, like a mini-dream. I remember thinking for a moment that I wish I had chosen that reality.

I had to tell myself to get out of my body. “Get up. You can go now.” lol But my body was really heavy and it took everything I had to peel myself out of it. I was able to get out and when I did, I went straight to the bedroom door and out of it as fast as I could.

The lights were all on as I had suspect but it was eerily quiet. I went to the stair and looked down them. The lights were on downstairs, too. It was brilliantly bright everywhere. Curious from my last OBE, I looked down at my arms and they were solid and normal looking. No jerky or shifty energy. Though I felt solid, the experience wasn’t quite as realistic as the last one. The scene I was in was very obviously constructed by me and the quality therefore was exceptionally dream-like.

Downstairs I saw my children watching T.V. but in the wrong part of the house. I turned toward the kitchen and saw tables and chairs everywhere. It actually looked like a bar room and not my kitchen. It was like I entered another building. There were beer bottles, wine glasses, cups, lamps, etc. The whole shebang. I assumed that the party had ended and I had missed it. So I picked up a wine glass and threw it as hard as I could toward a floor to ceiling window. It bounced off and I heard a strange hollow sound. Weird. So I tossed a beer mug at the window. Same thing happened. Nothing broke. Not the window or the glass. At that moment I thought I must be inside a giant bubble, a giant shatter resistant glass bubble. lol

OBE: Avoidance

I felt the familiar energy indicating I had returned to the vicinity of my physical body. The noises-off resumed. This time I heard a woman’s voice talking very business-like. I knew who it was, too. So I got up, peeling myself once again out of my heavy body, and went to investigate.

I found my husband’s boss sitting at our computer talking to someone on Skype. She continued to talk despite seeing me. I even said, “Hey Stacy!” She looked at me like, “Get away from me” and rolled the chair away. The closer I got to her, the more she inched herself away. She ended up squished in the crook of the desk, the whole time continuing her conversation.

Her energy was really odd, too. I remember thinking, “She’s me.” I had no doubt she was a projection and I recognized instantly the message: Avoidance. My mind was working overtime putting it all together, looking at the symbolism and trying to figure out how I could change the scene because I didn’t want to see it (avoidance). It wasn’t long before I was again back at my body.

OBE: I Want Out

Back in my body I felt the vibrations indicating I could exit and so I went out immediately. There was little heaviness this time but my energy was more flustered and flighty. My only intent was to get as far away from my body as I could.

Down the stairs I saw one of my children. What is strange is the he turned into a she and seemed to shrink from an 8 year old to a toddler to around a 9 month old baby. I followed her to the french doors while she was in the toddler stage. I tried to open the door but it was locked. I said to my guidance, “Come on! Why can’t I go out? Please, let me out.” When I tested the other doorknob, I put forth the intention that it would open.  It opened and I said, “Thank you!”

I picked up my daughter and asked her, “Do you want to come outside with mommy?”

When I got outside it was still dark and I could see the stars and the trees swaying in the breeze. I didn’t feel a breeze, though. Looking around, I saw the neighbor’s fence and remembered that in other OBEs there was a pool on the other side. I went toward it saying to my daughter, “I think there is a pool over there. Let’s go look.”

Sure enough, I saw the pool just where I last remembered it (there is not on in real life). It was not lit up as usual but I could see a bundle of dead leaves on the bottom of it indicating the water was clear.

My intention at that time was to get in it, of course. So I began to climb over the fence. For some reason I felt restricted, though. It was like someone was pulling me back. My thoughts were, “I can’t” and “I won’t make it”. So I ended up stuck on the top of the fence and then pulled back into my body.


Back in my body the energy was a bit rough but my heart was beating normally and I did not feel unsettled. Much better reentry than last time. I was still grumpy and did not want to get out of bed. Unfortunately, my youngest was banging on the door again and this time I had to get up. It was 7:33am. So three projections in 33 minutes. Wow.

A part of a song kept repeating in my head for some time after waking. The song was Don’t Speak by No Doubt and the repetitive part was:

It’s all ending
I gotta stop pretending who we are…..

The rest of the song was skipped. It was like those words were on repeat. Over and over. Enough to drive anyone nuts.

I’ve been hearing that particular part of that song for some time but ignoring it. I couldn’t figure out the meaning. What’s ending? It is a relationship like what the song is talking about? Or is it something else? And pretending = avoidance. Got that part. I know I’m avoiding.

At this point I am starting to think that the “ending” here is referring to a life path since that is what my guidance has been pushing and pushing me to acknowledge. The “who we are” part is likely trying to get me to recognize that I have been pretending, playing a role, that is no longer useful. Time to put on a new one, one that is more genuine.

I also can’t stop thinking about the 2nd OBE. My husband hates his boss. I don’t hate her. I see a lot of myself in her. When he complains about her I often tell him, “We are a lot alike.” He doesn’t see it. There has been a struggle between them going on 4-5 years now. It is exhausting for both of us. Much of how he has been handling that situation is mirrored in how he is handling our marriage. Interesting.

And in reflecting on all the OBEs I can clearly see how I am the one trapping myself within the scene. My thoughts were very prominent while OOB. “I can’t” or “I won’t make it” or “I don’t want to”. Had those thoughts not been there I would have made it over that fence, I have no doubt. “No doubt” lolol

These kinds of messages make me not want to bother going OOB anymore. Sigh.


A Message in an Email

Have to share this because it is such a perfect example of how the universe (and my guides) sends messages.

Backstory – I have been periodically applying for positions here and there as I feel guided. A couple of weeks ago I applied to Pearson. The work is part-time and seasonal and most of the jobs are for scoring tests. I figured I would go ahead and apply since I am trying to avoid traditional work right now.

Last night I was checking my email and noticed a message in my inbox which had been there since 1pm. Not sure why I didn’t notice it until 9pm, but it was meant to be that way I am sure. This is what the message title was: Offer to work the Tennessee 2016 – Geometry. 

I saw the word “Tennessee” first and nearly fell out of my chair. Then I looked closer and laughed some more. And then some more. Too frickin’ crazy! LOL

The closer I looked the more I understood. There was no way I was going to be able to take the job. Why? Well for one, they wanted an answer the day the email was sent. Then, IF I was to take the offer I would have to bust my butt to get paperwork in and meet with HR by Friday so that I could go to training on Monday full-time for a week. The job would then continue until the end of the month with overtime expected (nights and weekends).

Since I received the email at 9pm there was no way to figure out childcare or scheduling. My husband was already asleep and no amount of nudging him was going to wake him up. My MIL, the person who would watch the kids, would have freaked out if I asked her last minute to babysit. So it just wasn’t feasible to take the offer. So I declined it.

Good news is, there are many offers coming as they are always scoring. Also, the location is 7 minutes from our house. 🙂 Nothing more convenient than that.

So it is obvious that this job offer had only one purpose: to get a message across to me. Go to Tennessee in 2016. I assume that “Geometry” is significant here, too. Sacred geometry maybe? Lots of significance there. Pretty cool!

Bad news: I woke up with an ear infection in my right ear. Boo! The Kundalini is probably to blame. On a positive note, I have medicated drops from the last one. Also, since the issue is in my ear it suggests that the K is doing its work up near the third-eye. Progress is being made. Still, it sucks. My first ever ear infection was when I was 31. Since then I have had a couple more. Never anything serious, just outer ear, but they HURT! And I can’t hear a darned thing.