Dream: Hope Floats

Last night, for the first time in a long while, I struggled to fall asleep. It was past 1am when I finally drifted off. Again, I asked to be shown what my afterlife would look like and again got shown something very different.

Dream: Hope Floats

I was in the back seat of an SUV traveling with three others – two men and a woman. The only person that was familiar was the driver and since he was way up front we did not interact very much.

For some reason I was very talkative and happy in this dream. The discussion was about where we were going and why along with other random topics.

The topic of all the countries we had visited came up and the man to my left showed me a map of all the places he had traveled. His map was quite full! It seemed he had been nearly everywhere! I somehow knew he had past military experience and this was how he had traveled so much. I asked if he had ever visited Australia and he showed me a map of the country. He had traveled nearly the entirety of it! I said, “I went there once. I wanted to move there. It is a wonderful place.”

The topic of music came up. The man had with him two CDs and a player that wirelessly connected to the SUV stereo. I explained how I didn’t like most country music songs and was not shy about sharing my opinion. I tend to be very honest and blunt and I was most definitely acting this way in the dream. As far as I know, I didn’t upset anyone with my strong negative opinion about country music. The man sitting next to me asked me to try listening to his CDs. He shared the name’s of the artists and albums. I told him I had never heard of them and even now I can’t recall their names.  I agreed to give them a listen but his player would not connect.

The conversation continued with me changing my mind as I recalled actually liking certain songs, even owning country music CDs when I was married to my ex. I remember mentioning the movie soundtrack, Hope Floats, but when I said the name I knew it was a message to myself about hope.

The driver, the only person in the SUV that I recognized, did not interact much with our group. In the midst of my conversations with the group, I moved to my left a bit and could see the man watching me via the rear view mirror. I tried to ignore him and pretended I didn’t notice him watching me. He looked just as I remembered, especially his eyes and the intensity of his stare.

The topic of conversation shifted to our destination. I remember knowing we were going to Minnesota but the map I saw did not show the state in the right place. Instead, it looked more like a state in the northeast somewhere, closer to Ohio or Pennsylvania. The man in the front seat mentioned how different it would be for me to live there, saying the college campus I would be at was in a big city. In my mind I saw city streets and lots of people and knew I did not like crowded places. I remember knowing that I was going to study for my Master’s in Group Communication. In the dream this degree stood out to me and nearly brought on lucidity, but it didn’t.

Suddenly, the man in the driver’s seat turned completely around and began to crawl into the back seat toward me. This surprised me and I remember holding my breath and thinking, “What is he doing?” His eyes are the most memorable. It was like he was looking straight into my soul.

Then, without warning, he took a huge inhale of breath and turned around to face the front of the car. Outside I could see the highway spread out in front of us. Black, burnt wreckage was spread all over the left side of the road. The car was stopped, so there was no worry that it was driving into the wreckage, but cars were behind us. One car’s bumper was nearly touching ours and it honked in annoyance.

I knew we had to get out and assist in finding the survivors/victims. When I stepped out of the car there were two tiny, toddler-sized, black sneakers sitting on the pavement in a position suggesting they had been blown off the feet of their owner. I remember saying, “Oh no! Where’s the child these belong to?” My last thought before waking was hoping the child had survived as I looked at the unrecognizable pieces of wreckage and obvious scorch marks on the highway.

As I woke, I felt the presence of my guide in front of me. He said to me, “Life is good.” I was so tired, so heavy with sleep, that I didn’t really think much about his comment and I drifted back to sleep. I can’t recall what, if any, dreams I had after that.


When I woke up my first thought was on the message I gave myself – Hope Floats. I don’t remember too much about the movie but I believe it is a story of how a woman suffers through an unexpected divorce, moves her family in with her mom, and reconnects with an old school friend (or boyfriend?), falling madly in love. Ultimately she finds happiness where she never thought she would find it.

I don’t know if this message is meant to indicate something like that will happen to me. For my life to play out like the movie is unlikely, especially since I don’t have any high school sweethearts to reconnect with. lol It could be that the message is simply to remain hopeful. And it could be nothing at all, but that is not typically how my dreams work. Especially dreams in which I remember seeing someone I know so acutely and wake up knowing the dream has significance.

My music preferences, the main discussion in the dream, seem to show how I recognize that though I say I don’t like something I eventually recognize that I do like some of it. I am open to exploring this about myself and even agree to listen (to the music – my guidance – but in this case “listen” in general applies).

As a dream symbol, music is how one communicates and expresses their soul. It can also represent spiritual guidance and a message being sent/received. My best guess as to the genre of music is that it is linking me to my past and perhaps my roots since I was raised very “country” and lived in the country for more than half my life. I suspect I am being asked to return to my past, inspect it and be open to receiving something it has to show me and “change my mind” about some idea or situation.

The wreckage on the highway seems to be a message or warning of a world-view or path more than my own and/or my group’s path (SUV is a group path). The wreckage is massive and the cars involved unrecognizable. All that is left are scorch marks and twisted pieces of metal. The two tiny shoes likely represent the children of the world in general. My main concern is them. My group is seeking to help the victims.

Finally, the degree I am seeking is at the forefront of my mind. The main word that stood out was “group” but I knew my degree had to do with communication as well. Considering just last night I was boarding a train to my new school and was wearing a choker around my neck (throat chakra), I think this part of the dream very significant.






Dream: Race Car Romance

It’s been a busy weekend and I continue to be pretty tired in the evenings with little dream recall. Last night I was especially tired because I went on a 4+ mile run-walk with my husband before dinner. So, by bedtime my eyes were very droopy and I fell asleep quickly.

Prior to bed I asked my guidance to allow me to see “heaven”. I asked to be shown where I will go when I die. Mostly, I was just curious. If I was shown the afterlife that awaits me (I believe everyone has their own “heaven”) I don’t remember it. What I remember instead is a strange dream.

Dream: Race Car Romance

The dream began with me being in my bedroom from when I was in middle school. Instead of it looking like a normal bedroom it was filled with deep water and I was swimming in it, occasionally diving deep into its depths. I believe I was not in my human form but am unsure what form I took. It felt like I was a car but then I saw myself as human but then also fish-like (mermaid maybe). Sometimes I would dive too deep into this water and someone would have to rescue me and pull me up to the surface before I drowned.

I was pulled up time and time again until the last time I finally paid attention to what was going on. Around me was a crowd of onlookers in a circle around me and my savior, a man who I felt I recognized but couldn’t place. His face shifted from a color, like a blue color, to a human face with dark hair and eyes. He seemed short or child-like, as did I, and I remember thinking in that moment that I finally recognized him. I knew I would fall for him as many victims fall for those that save them. As I had this thought I was looking at this man and feeling that, “Uh oh” feeling deep within me as if I knew he represented something significant and would bring into my life swift change more powerful than I had known before.

The dream shifted and the water was gone. I was standing on solid ground in my bedroom looking at a white bookshelf. On the top of the shelf was a stack of paper. I was taking pieces sheet by sheet looking for a blank one to draw on but each sheet had on it drawings of cars. Some had color on them, like a child had colored them, but as I pulled more out the drawings had less and less color until they were without color altogether. All the drawings were of race cars with rocket-like pipes coming out the sides and other alterations that made them look like rockets or spaceships with four tires. They were obviously built for speed.

As I looked through the drawings I recognized some were telling a story. I said to someone, “Oh, it’s a love story.” And I remember seeing two cartoon-like cars interacting as the pages flipped quickly and moved like a movie.

Then I was selecting a shirt to wear with the help of another girl. The shirt I selected had a race car on it also and was vividly colored. I mostly remember the color blue but there were streaks of yellow and white as well. It reminded me of something a super hero would wear. What is interesting is the shirt had two pieces. The back piece went over the shoulders like a cape and flowed down my back to my waist. The front piece snapped around the neck and covered my chest only. I remember the girl helping me put on the front piece, snapping it snugly into place around my neck. It felt tight but not restrictive.

Then I was told it was time to go and I got into a line to board a bus. It felt like I was in school and I remember seeing many people around me all going to their individual destinations. The bus I was boarding seemed more like a train or tram. It was sleek and aerodynamic as if it could go very, very fast.


When I woke from the dream the presence of a guide was in front of me. I heard, “It’s time to go.” I didn’t know what he meant but it felt important. I thought, “Time to go Home?” He said, “No.” But my first thought was that I was about to die. I started worrying about my doctor appointment on Friday and thought I might get a phone call indicating something is wrong with my blood work. This concern quickly passed, though.

My guess, based on the dream, is that my guide is referring to something else, something fast and maybe life changing. A race car can indicate moving in the “fast lane” or fast movement. It can also represent a race of some sort and arriving at a destination fast. A car in a dream usually represents an individual’s life path or the path they travel with others. It is dependent upon the type of car. A race car is not a family car, so this is likely a symbol of my personal path.

In my dream I seem to shift between being a car and being something else, something more human and fish-like. I dive into the water (subconscious) and have to be rescued. I am rescued by the same man many times and finally recognize him. When I see him I feel that I will fall in love with him while also recognizing his role in my life. The feeling I get is significant and comes with a type of nervousness that I have felt in life before, where I want to run away out of fear but also stay out of fascination and desire to know what will happen next.

When I see him there is a crowd of people standing all around us. They stand back and form a circle similar to what happens when a person is rescued from near death in real life.

The strange race car clothing seems to indicate that I will take on a new persona. Clothing is how we present ourselves to the world. The clothing snaps around my throat in the front. This could symbolize my voice. It is not constricted.

As I board the bus/train I feel to be going to school but am also in a school so perhaps it is symbolic of a specific lesson I am about to learn that is related to a life lesson that is on-going. The bus/train looks like it will go fast so maybe a very fast-paced lesson.

This song was going through my head as I woke:

“I can be your hero baby. I can kiss away the pain. I will stand by you forever. You can take my breath away….”

When I went for my morning walk today I saw the sun through the thick clouds. It looked like the moon but I know the moon is not full right now and so this confirmed it was the sun. I was reminded of a dream/OBE I had long ago where I saw the sun and the moon in the sky, side by side slowly moving closer together. I knew this symbolized the masculine (sun) and the feminine (moon) coming closer and closer together until they merged. I looked at the sun-moon in the sky and said to myself, “The sun is the moon is the sun”.

Dream: Struck by Lightning

Not a whole lot to report here. Lost of mundane things mostly. Today I had a well woman physical, which I haven’t had since 2014 (can you tell I hate them? lol). I told my doctor about my heart speed-up scare and she confirmed that it was likely low blood sugar. 🙂 I also had a full blood panel done because I haven’t had blood work since 2016. The results won’t come in until next week. Next, I have to schedule a mammogram because I am now “over 40” (in other words old).

Another interesting event was that I had my DNA analyzed through 23 and Me. The results came in this week. I am 64.2% British and Irish, 19.1% French and German, 2.4% Scandinavian and Broadly Northwestern European is the rest. I thought I had more German but it seems not. lol I also discovered someone I’ve known for around a decade is my 4th cousin! Sadly, all I discovered were many distant relatives. No close relatives from either side of the family show up. Health-wise I am not a carrier of any of the 44 genes for specific diseases and issues they tested for. The only thing of any significance that came up is that I have a slightly higher risk of having Celiac disease and age related macular degeneration. Weird!

I have completed 40 days+ of the Wahe Guru mantra meditation and have not noticed anything life changing. I do relax easier in the evenings but that is about it. I got the idea the other night to begin a visualization meditation at night instead of the mantra meditation I have been doing. So I have been trying to visualize what I want but it is hard because I seem not to be able to “see” physical things I want really well. That is probably because physical things are not very interesting to me. I mostly just want enough money to never have to worry about survival needs again. Mostly I just want to feel a certain way and I can visualize how I want to feel much better. So I have been trying to focus on the heart connected feeling or just a general openness in my heart. I also focus on feeling joy and fulfillment.

Visions of Note

In the past few weeks I have had some interesting visions and messages come through.

I had a vision that was very clear upon waking one morning, probably about two weeks ago now. In the vision I saw the painting in my room that is called “Integration”. I was going into the painting on a bicycle. It was so real that I thought I was actually sitting up in bed experiencing it but when I blinked I was in bed lying on my side. I was probably dreaming or in the in-between.

A message from myself that was interesting came around the same time. I caught myself talking to someone about someone who I recognized as me in another body. I said, “Oh that is my 6th body. I don’t control it”. All I remember after that is that the “body” of this other me was yellow.

Then in one day I had two syncs. The first came when I woke up with a song in my head. Minutes after waking I had to jump in the car to take my daughter to the bus stop because it was raining and the same song and line was playing! This was the song and the part that kept going over in my head was “She said I don’t look like me no more no more. I said I’m just tired, she said you’re just tired”:

Later that same day, I was reading a blog and the poster mentioned she got interrupted because her doorbell rang. The instant I read “doorbell” my own doorbell rang! LOL

Dream: Struck by Lightning 

I woke from a dream sometime around 3am. In the dream I was watching a small house via a screen. It almost looked like it was a piece of art, framed, but the picture was moving like a TV. The house had dark, nearly black smoke billowing out of the top. The billows were rounded and went high into the sky. I had a camera in my hand and began to take photos of it and as I did this I seemed to enter the picture with the house.

Then I was lying on the ground dressed in a white leotard, legs spread in a V shape. A bolt of lightning came down and hit me in my root chakra. I remember it did not hurt nor did it feel odd at all. I told someone who was with me, “I’m okay. I feel fine.”

This scene woke me up and I felt my entire body covered in a heaviness and subtle vibrations. I felt very drowsy but my mind was alert. A conversation had been on-going between myself and a guide who I could feel near me as if he were standing in front of me. This guide and I had been talking about what I wanted in life and I told him, “To be out of this body” and I was saying, “I don’t care how it happens – in a body bag, in OBEs, taken Home via spacecraft or whatever.” My guide was saying, “I don’t think that is what you really want. I think you want….connection.”

The more aware I became of the conversation the more it began to fade, our words disappearing, replaced only by the heaviness in my body and a feeling almost like passing out except I was already “out”.

When I regained control is when I heard the word “connection” and with hearing it I felt a pull within as if I were being called to embrace the familiar feeling of surrender followed by ecstasy that comes with the K. I resisted and told my guide, “It is not good for me. It upsets my life.”

I told my guidance that I prefer the security of my current relationship even if that means I have no deep connection(s) in my life. The idea of leaving behind my security to search for a connected relationship (whether with myself or another) does not appeal to me.

My mind wandered back to the idea that I may do better in a relationship with a woman and the more I thought about it, the more it appealed to me. My guidance seemed to indicate this would not happen. I wondered why not but did not ask because the answer seemed to be that it was not part of the plan.

I ended up in a dream where I was in school, purposefully breaking the rules by choosing to be with a woman. I found great joy in this and was giddy like a child as I danced up and down a line of students while watching the expression of a “teacher” as I kissed the woman. I remember my hair being pinned up and me taking it down as I danced. The other woman was also doing this.

There was a whole section of the dream where I was talking to others in my class about returning to my 30’s. One guy was holding a newborn in his hands and I said, “I had all my babies in my 30’s.” I remember saying, “If I could be any age again it would be in the decade of my 30’s.”

As the dream drew to an end, I remember hearing the song Unchained Melody and singing along – “Lonely rivers sigh, wait for me, wait for me. I’ll be coming home, wait for me…”

When I woke I felt that the dream was about feeling free to be myself. I often feel confined in this world and unable to be who I really am because of all the rules and expectations placed upon me by society – Be nice to this person, don’t say anything they don’t want to hear, etc. I feel a heavy weight on my shoulders each time I have to interact with other people because of these rules. Sometimes that weight gets so heavy that I break down into tears from the exhaustion of it.

I began to think of what I said about being in my 30’s again. As I pondered it I realized I would go back to age 30 exactly and make different choices. I would not build my house on my Mom’s land. Instead I would have stayed at my job at the time. I would have opted out of a family entirely. This all came as a result of thinking how I trapped myself by falling for the idea that having a family would somehow fulfill me. In fact, I see this whole world and life in a human body as a trap. I remember thinking, “If I could go back, I would go back to the time before my birth and opt out then. My mom would have miscarried and I would have been saved from this existence.”

I sometimes feel guilty for bringing my children into this world. Now they, too, are trapped by it. 😦

Lightning Dream Symbol

I have had K dreams where I am hit by lightning before so I suspect this symbol indicates the K energy will be fired up by some kind of catalyst. I find it strange, though, that I feel nothing when it strikes. Instead I sit there and say, “I’m okay. I feel fine.” I think the truth is that I am not okay. And no, I don’t feel “fine”. Perhaps my guide is right and being out of this body is not my goal but rather finding Divine Connection while in this body.

The smoldering house is likely symbolic of my life and how the energy is still burning, but slowly, creating a black smoke out the top of the house (my life/body). Maybe the black smoke symbolizes a blackness within me – the empty pit of nothingness that resides there. Or maybe it is just what remains of what could be smothered out over and over again by my refusal to let the flames ignite again. Or maybe it is some kind of signal fire? I wonder if anyone can see it?

I recognize that the K causes me to feel a need to make changes because that is its purpose. But I do not want to change and feel the energy of the desire brought by the Kundalini is not something to be sought after. It doesn’t last but it makes one think it will. It is deceptive and intoxicating. To reach for it will only result in suffering – not only self-suffering but also the suffering of those I love. I may be unhappy now, mostly from boredom and disconnect, but at least I am not suffering. I am secure and have many blessings. That has to be worth something.

OBE and Message: Go to Florida

After hearing my husband brag about an OBE he had two nights ago, I went to bed last night feeling a bit jealous. I have been sleeping really deeply lately so my dreams are often lost upon waking. The tiredness keeps me from lucid dreams and OBEs so when I wake I feel like I’m missing out. So I said to my guidance, “I would really like something interesting to happen tonight.”

Something woke me up around 2am. I have no clue what but I ended up going downstairs to get a drink and was wide awake by the time I got back in bed. Seeing the perfect opportunity to try WBTB (wake back to bed), I began to repeat in my mind, “I am now out of body” over and over. To be honest, I have never tried the repeat method but heard an online friend of mine has success with it so I figured, why not?

As I was repeating “I am now out of body” one of my guides reminded me to set an intention for my projection. I thought about it and told him I wanted to be shown what I need to see (one of my favorite intentions) and when I can go Home (lol) because I have been so, so bored lately.


I don’t know when I shifted because I can’t recall feeling any vibrations. What I recall next is sitting in my bed as the body of a warm cat pushed itself against my hands. The cat was purring and I could see it was brown tabby. I remember thinking, “I don’t own a cat….” and then realizing I was OOB and could take over the experience. I chose not to take control, though, instead allowing the experience to show me what I had asked to be shown.

As I petted the cat (female sexuality, femininity), I heard music in my mind and sang along to the familiar song while also recognizing it was a message from my guides or Higher Self in response to my request to be allowed to cut this life short out of “boredom”. I wish I could remember the song now but all I can recall is that it was something like, “Why give up now when you’ve come so far?” Knowing it was a message I needed to remember, I grabbed a pencil and began to write it down on a piece of paper.

Then I noticed that the paper was covered in algebra problems and I remember thinking it would be a nice way to occupy my mind and time. So I set to solving the equations but also knew it, too, was a message. Algebra and math was always easy for me in school. I loved the challenge and the step-by-step process and rules to follow. So perhaps there is something in life that is similar?

Recognizing the messages I had been waiting for had been revealed, I got up and took over the OBE, flying out of my bedroom and down the stairs to the front door. When I opened the front door it flew open and disappeared. Outside the sky changed from dreary, dark and rainy to blue skies and a brilliant day. In front of me was a forest of Magnolia trees (a strong will and resolve to make changes in life when needed). When I noticed them I felt giddy with glee.

As I flew among the trees I saw that the dreary, rainy skies were all around me but I was left untouched inside my bubble of light. I remember thinking the rain and dreariness would surely get me, but my bubble of light remained and I took thrill in this.

Then a force began to pull me upward. I surrendered to it, allowing myself to be pulled upward with greater and greater speed. My eyes automatically closed but every once in a while I would peek out and I would see those Magnolia trees below me. I smiled and then shifted back into my body.

Message: Go to Florida

When I shifted back to my body I remained in the in-between as I thought of the OBE I had just had. My memory here is faded, though. I know I went back OOB but I don’t remember anything about it except talking to someone and being told, “Go to Florida.”

When I woke I struggled to remember the song I had been singing in my OBE. For some reason the song, A Whole New World was in my head, but I know that was not the song. The section of the song that was repeating, “I can show you the world….let me share this whole new world with you.”

I am not sure what the message about Florida is all about. lol It felt like when the opportunity arises I should go, whenever – if ever – that is.

Overall, a nice OBE if not a little odd. 🙂



Kundalini Dream: Tempest

As the new year approaches the energy seems to be shifting. Yesterday the energy was especially strange. I felt a bit unsettled and family issues were at the forefront of my mind. Specifically, I wanted something unjust to be fixed. I kept feeling like I needed to take action but when I tried, things kept messing up – information I spent an hour typing wouldn’t save and other info vanished completely. It seemed as if the Universe was telling me, “Not yet”. So I found another way to channel the energy I was feeling – exercise. Once finished the feeling to take action was gone and replaced with a more balanced, calm energy.

I had lots of dreams last night, but a main one stands out.

Kundalini Dream: Tempest

The dream is hard to remember now but there are distinct elements of Kundalini energy present throughout.

In one scene I am standing on what appears to be a concrete dock sloping into the ocean. With me is a man and others but their appearances are hard to recall. The man walks into the ocean and I feel he is calling me to join him. He goes into the water up to his chest and I see he is okay so I follow. When I enter the water I notice there are dolphins swimming in it. I am overjoyed to see them and reach out and let my hand slide over the slick skin of one as it swims by. Many dolphins swim around and around me, playing and surfacing to smile at me. The dream scene fades out.

Then I am in a room with other women. I can’t recall what we are discussing now but I talk with one woman in particular who I have an affinity with. She is black and I find her very beautiful. Actually, all the women in the room are black and beautiful.

A group of people come into the room. They hold a large celebratory sign and have on masks. Many are children. They have with them presents in red bags with white paper covered in red and pink hearts. I say, “It’s like Valentine’s Day!” The children pass out the gifts to several women in the group I am with. The women are lounging and sitting together, relaxed and smiling. I feel that the gifts are coming from their men who are away. It feels like they are in the military or “fighting a war” but the war is not a typical war with guns and death. Instead the war feels internal though also for the whole of the world.

A gift is presented to me. I read the tag and the name says, “Dayana”. I say, “This isn’t isn’t my name. It’s not for me.” I read the rest of the information on the label to see if there is any information that is familiar. I see “Firefly” and tell the person holding the bag out to me, “It may be mine. ‘Firefly’ belongs to me.” The others in the room nod in agreement then one woman says, “Take it then. It is yours!”

Inside the bag underneath thick red paper is a tiny black box. I do not open it, though.

There is discussion about the men in our lives. I remember thinking of my ex-husband but this is probably because we are talking about the “war” our men are fighting.

Then I leave and go with my friend to her home. Inside are more women but one in particular is a well known author. She is sitting on the floor in front of a table, her legs off to her side. She smiles at me when I enter. There are others there with her. They invite me to sit down. Again, all the woman are black and very beautiful.

I recall talking to a man about his concerns about making enough money to support his family. I tell him a whole story about how much me and my husband have earned through the years. Specifically I tell him he can support a whole family on just $29K a year. He has misgivings about his ability as a provider but is reassured by my story. What is interesting is there is no man in the room with me and the woman and as I tell my story an entire scene of my story plays out as if a movie.

The women in the circle seem to be a kind of support group. They are discussing books. The woman author hands me a book and asks me if I have ever read it. I say that I have seen it but didn’t think it was right for me so never read it. I take the book and it has a title that is either, “Temptation” or “Tempest”.

Then I find myself looking at the pages of a book. I read a long sentence about how a man, a kind of doctor, helps a woman activate 22 meridians and chakras, starting in the root and moving up. I see him insert something into the root of an energy body and watch as the chakras activate. The energy is not intense but instead very flowing and smooth. I believe the aura I am observing is my own and the energy in the chakras mine also.

The woman author mentions to me that despite the “fat” of the physical body, the energy is able to move and progress upward. I see a visual of the insides of a physical body. Layers of yellow fatty tissue are visible. The energy moves through it and the fat seems to shrink, the yellow slowly dissolving away.

The women are discussing their unique experiences in life. I zone out, thinking of my own life when someone gives me a message related to time. I am told that I don’t need to do anything, that time will come to me – move through me. I am told to “wait” several times. I see a vision of a person standing still on a white platform that seems never to end. A time reel of pictures moves through the person. I understand that the idea that an individual moves through time is false – time moves through the individual.

I begin to think about my experiences with the Divine and how I felt to be One with everything. I hesitantly ask the group if any of them have ever experienced the Divine like I have. I describe my experiences as best as I can and they show interest and acceptance. My description causes me to relive some of the experiences I’ve had and I am near tears. I say to them, “It is so wonderful to be able to talk to you all about my experiences!” One woman asks me how I handle such profound experiences and I tell her, “I usually cry afterward.”

The other women nod as if they understand and can relate. My friend in particular seems to get it and comes closer to me. She hugs me and rests her head on my chest. I begin to slowly caress her black skin, finding her extremely beautiful. She moves closer and then positions her head in my lap. I gently touch her hair and marvel at how beautiful she is. There is a connection between us, one of great love and appreciation.


I slowly wake because I feel the K energy swirling through mostly my lower chakras. I linger, going in and out of the in-between. The song from Titanic goes through my head, “Once more, you open the door….” and “You’re here in my heart and my heart will go on and on”.

I fall into the in-between.

I remember being led into a tunnel or a path. In front of me is a white door with a golden door knob. I move toward it and it opens. Beyond it the path continues but is feathered in light. I can feel the K energy pushing upward and building at my solar plexus. It forms a line of golden energy just below my ribs. This energy increases my awareness and I see the door and know that going through it will move the energy upward. I try to shift back into the in-between but my awareness is too much. I am upset when I recognize this because I know I have interrupted a potentially beautiful experience, one where the energy moves into my heart space.

The song continues to play through my head as if to remind me that all is not lost – “My heart will go on and on….”


The symbolism behind my dreams feels positive. Dolphins symbolize spiritual guidance, freedom, and happiness. I am in the water, which is emotion, invited in by the the masculine energy. This introduction feels to be an invitation where I am guided into the water (my emotions) and shown that it is safe and I am protected.

The symbolism of Valentine’s Day is love, connection and partnership. Though my name is wrong I notice the street name of my childhood home “firefly”. Fireflies symbolize illumination and hope but also one’s “homeland”. It is interesting that in my dream the street name was of my childhood home here. I am given a gift, one of love as represented by Valentine’s Day, but I do not open it.

The book title is curious. I am not certain of the title but it is either (or both) temptation or tempest. It causes me to think that the content, which I read and shows the rising of energy through 22 chakras and meridians, could be indicating that I will experience a rush of energy upward. Perhaps this energy will also represent a kind of temptation, which makes sense when one considers the energy of the Kundalini.

The women in the dream are all very dark skinned. I find them extremely beautiful, but this is also true in my waking life. I am very attracted to very dark skinned women of African descent. I had a very spiritual lifetime in the early 20th Century where I was an African-American woman and had very close ties to the women in my life. Perhaps I was creating the women in this dream to look this way because it gives me comfort and puts me at ease?

This dream continues a dream theme, one where I have women inviting me to experience the K energy. It feels like I need to further explore my feminine side to assist in the rising of the energy.

The vision of time received in this dream has left me considering how we as spiritual Beings enter the time stream of the physical. It appeared to me that we “descend” and then allow time to flow through us in order to experience it. I was then told I did not need to “do” anything but that time would come to me and through time I would experience. This message coincides with what I was shown yesterday when I tried so hard to take action but could not.

This dream and the other dreams and premonitions I have been given bring hope that 2020 will most definitely be a year of clarity.

Dream: Horse Attack

I hope everyone has been enjoying the holiday season. For those of you who are struggling, for whatever reason, I understand. May you have the strength to endure whatever comes your way. Remember, “This too shall pass.”

For me, Christmas went smoothly. We have one more family gathering today and then we can rest and return to our regularly scheduled program. 😉

As 2020 approaches there is much contemplating the previous year and what is to come. New Year’s resolutions may or may not be made. I am generally not one to use the New Year for such things. Re-evaluation occurs at regular intervals for me and so January 1st generally comes and goes without much notice. My hope, though, is that 2020 brings much needed clarity for not only myself but all of the world.

My visit to my Mom’s this Christmas made it hard to ignore the continued struggles of my sister and her family. As has been the theme for them since 2011 (and earlier for my sister), they came to my Mom’s broke and struggling to make ends meet. Their electricity and water had been turned off the previous week and my Mom helped get the electric turned back on but the water bill was still unpaid. Their landlords left at the beginning of the month on vacation and obviously had not paid the bills, causing both to be shut off. The past due balance indicated they may have done this purposefully to force my sister and her husband to pay them what they owed them. My sister and her husband have a habit of not paying rent and utilities until they outlive their stays and get evicted, so it is no surprise to us this is happening to them.

Yesterday I went back to my Mom’s to give her the cookies I had forgotten to take. My nephew was there, dropped off Christmas night by his parents without asking my Mom ahead of time. I overheard a conversation my cousin (and BIL) was having that indicated they were headed to a party that evening. My poor nephew was so disappointed that I had not brought his two cousins, my boys, that he broke down into tears and said, “I just want someone to play with.” Both my mom and I continue to worry about him. My Mom will take my nephew in all the time to try to help. He often cries about returning home. He does not like his father who is emotionally abusive and just plain mean to him.

It is not a surprise that I had a dream about my sister last night.

Dream: Horse Attack

The dream began with me talking with my sister and cousin about an idea to start a business. I was giving them advice about registering it as a DBA and encouraging them to not give up on their dream. An old acquaintance was there, someone who died many years ago. I remember him saying, “We will help you when you got successful enough to become an LLC.”

Then I was with my sister driving down dark roads in a city. We had to stop because a group of acrobats (complexity) was in the road doing back bends (pun on bending over backwards for someone). I patiently waited until they finished, watching them in their leotards gracefully bend in ways I never could.

Afterwards we traveled to a shop my sister wanted to visit. It was one that carried special foods that were way more expensive than a regular grocery store. My sister had in her hand a bag of organic oats (need for comfort) to buy. I suggested she not buy it there because of her lack of money (she is a big spender) and so she put the bag down. I remember the owners watching and being very nice despite us not buying anything.

I remember picking up a long, soft blanket (protection) while there and there was also some small animal. It may have been a dog but I can’t recall. My sister took it with her.

What I do remember is that after we left I ended up outside in the mountains (spiritual journey) with some other people. I became somewhat lucid and opted to step back to see where I was. I saw a beautiful mountain peak and a cabin (need for seclusion) with tall, dark windows (something unknown). Behind me was a field with knotted oak trees near the edges. In the field were many long-haired horses (strength, power, freedom) that resembled prehistoric horses – shorter with larger heads and fatter feet. I called them by a specific name but can’t remember it now.

I climbed a barbed wire fence (overcome limits of relationship) and sat on the ground watching the horses graze. I began to take photos and noticed a large flock of birds (freedom from limitation) taking flight. The scene was beautiful! The birds flew behind the majestic horses and the sky was brilliant behind them, dotted with white fluffy clouds and a brilliant blue. The birds seemed almost to be protecting the horses or lifting them up.

As I sat there enjoying myself, the horses became curious and slowly approached me. There was a small horse that I petted and it seemed like it had been the small animal we had seen at the shop and my sister had taken with her. I realized the stallion (masculine energy, passion) of the herd was angry we had messed with the foal and wanted to get me out of there. As I stood up and prepared to leave I came face to face with his angry face. He snorted and stomped his feet and I turned and quickly stepped over the fence to safety on the other side.

I told the rest of the people there to hide because I knew the stallion would not stop at that. We began to look in a parking lot full of trucks for a safe place to hide. I climbed inside the back of a truck (hard work) with a cage (protection) and began to lock myself inside. The stallion had gathered all his herd together and broken down the fence. The entire herd was stampeding (mob mentality, lack of control over others) toward the parked cars, knocking some over. I saw a large Greyhound bus (following the crowd) topple over and the people inside upside down calmly looking through the windows at me.

I waited inside, huddled down, hoping the stallion didn’t catch my scent.

This is where the dream ended.


Typically my dreams with horses are positive but this dream seems not to be. It feels like a frustration dream focusing on my failure to get my sister to change her ways. The dream them morphs into my frustration with society as a whole not seeming to want to change for the better. The people in the bus are not even afraid when they are turned upside down. Instead they just stare at me as if I am suppose to do something but all I do is cower in the back of the truck. Perhaps I am afraid I can’t help, or feel unable to help?

It reminds me of parenthood and how we have to step back and let our children learn, even if it means they fall time and time again. Though my sister is not my child, in many ways she feels like a child to me, behaving like a teenager would despite being four years older than me. Seeking out only pleasure and hiding from anything painful or uncomfortable, she is blind to the truth. This behavior is backing her deeper into a corner. Eventually her only escape will be to fight back by doing something. Hopefully it is not something destructive but her patterns suggest it will be.

As her sister all I can do is wait, “behind my cage of protection”, and hope that she learns her lessons to the point that she can free herself from a repetitive cycle of self-destruction. I want to help her but the help she wants only perpetuates her cycle. Like a good friend reminded me recently, “They have to want help“. Very true.

Premonitions and OBE

After a day of furniture shopping for our sons’ new bunk bed in which we ended up buying much more (lol), I fell asleep quite quickly. Unfortunately, I woke around 4am and couldn’t go back to sleep. I was regretting a certain piece of furniture and worrying over some others. Typical buyer’s regret. lol

I was also annoyed by a completely clogged nose, well only one side. There is nothing more annoying IMO!

By around 5am, still unable to sleep, I gave up and opted to meditate while sitting in bed. As I meditated, though, I became more and more sleepy until eventually I turned off the light and fell asleep.

The last thing I remember is a song going through my head:

“Don’t worry, ’bout a thing. Every little thing’s gonna be alright.:

Visions of 2020

I didn’t fall straight to sleep. Instead I lingered in the in-between where I was talking to a man about things to come. I don’t remember asking to know this but, funny enough I remember wondering about what 2020 will bring a couple of days ago.

It all began as a vision. It was so clear that it pulled me out of my reverie. In the vision, I saw my step-father in a hospital bed with oxygen and other cords attached. He looked okay – not at death’s door or anything – but he was most definitely wearing a hospital gown and in a hospital bed. I knew immediately that this was a premonition. I also knew it didn’t necessarily mean he would die.

I remember discussing a scenario where my family moved in with my mom. I suspect I was looking farther ahead to when she would be a widow, living alone in her big house. I came out of this min-dream or vision thinking, “She would never agree to move.”

Then I recall a vision of a black man who was a tad gray and unfamiliar. My cousin, who recently split with her long-term and much younger boyfriend, was dating this older man and moving back to L.A. I remember being surprised because she has always talked about living in the country in her little home until the day she died. Perhaps love changes her mind? She currently lives in a double wide mobile home on family land. The home is in horrible disrepair from years of her letting pets and animals live inside with her and also not being very cleanly.

There was a scenario where my husband was asked to renovate the home and I remember tying it into the idea of moving in with my mom. I thought of our family living in the mobile home while we renovated it. It is literally a walk away from my Mom’s house.

Suddenly, I shifted into what was very obviously a lucid dream. I walked to my cousin’s house, which had been abandoned by her. Inside everything was as she left it. The first thing I saw was a fish aquarium with tons of tiny fish that looked like cats. The fish were hungry and gathering at the front. I got out some food and fed them while talking to someone about how odd it was for my cousin to just leave them and her other animals behind.

In the corner of the room was a bed. Tired, I lay down on it to sleep. When I looked up at the ceiling, though, I saw two visuals of the wall/ceiling. One was the dream scene, another was my own bedroom. I knew instinctively that this was an invitation to go OOB. I think, though, that whoever I was talking to indicated this telepathically, also.


Without hesitation, I decided to leave my body, though sleep tempted me to fall into oblivion.

OOB now, I was still talking to a man who seemed to be with me. For some reason I see him as a young black man and assume he is my cousin’s ex-boyfriend.

I fly out of the house and outside. The sensation of flying is wonderful and I hover near the barn intent on investigating my grandparent’s property while OOB which I do not recall doing often, if ever. My vision is full-on but everything is blurry and shifty.

Suddenly I am pulled upward toward the sky. I remember telling someone, “I don’t want to go up” while at the same time surrendering to the pull because I know that to fight it will likely pull me back into my body. I end up pausing over the tops of the trees.

Someone is with me and we go into a space full of people. It appears to be a party. There are people crowded in brightly lit, golden hued room but I  hear no music and they are not dancing or moving about like people in a party do. They do seem to be conversing with one another, though. I try to focus in on their faces to see if I know any of them but their faces blur the minute I try to focus. I speak to a few but get no responses. It is like they are asleep or not really there. Despite all this, I am very excited and feel like a child, curious and wide-eyed.

There is a distinct shift and I know I return to my body but I do not wake up or shift back OOB. I assume I fall victim to my exhaustion so some lucidity is lost.

Lucid Dream: Ship of Darkness and Giant Turtle Guide

The next thing I remember is being high up in the trees with others watching a scene below that is hard to recall now. I believe there are people below me swimming in clear water. The people are children and a child is with me, to my left. The entire scene is reminiscent of a fantasy book illustration. It has a very dreamy quality, brilliant colors and sparkly air that is alive with lights.

A woman to my right is instructing me to do something but I don’t remember what she tells me to do now. What I recall next is that the woman has a serpent-like, white body that moves toward me. I am drawn to her and feel that she is inviting me to join or merge with her. The energy is intoxicating and I remember hearing a female voice inviting me to come to her, telling me not to resist. I have a consideration that I am being tempted to do something “bad” but I don’t care and immediately toss the idea knowing it is not bad and fear is clouding my judgment.

I surrender to her and she wraps her tail around me, igniting my lower chakras in pleasure. I remember feeling drawn to stay with her forever but say, “I don’t want this. I want….”. What I want is a feeling that cannot be described in words.

Then I am standing with the woman at what appears to be the entry into another world. We are on the deck of a huge, black ship. The ship surges into a dark space with dark water. Inside, the ship doesn’t go far because it encounters a wall of round, black rocks. It turns back and then enters the blackness again and again, each time stopped by rocks.

I say to the woman, “There are only rocks here.” I am looking for an opening and there is a feeling that just beyond the rocks lies what I am seeking. I believe I am seeking a reunion with Self, or that is what it feel like anyway.

On the third trip into the dark waters I turn to the boat toward the rocks and get off. There is a small child with me who walks ahead of me. I only see the child’t feet, though, and at times the feet of the child shift to my own feet wearing black boots. We/I walk across volcanic-like rocks in the water. The child’s foot touches the water and a snapping turtle head pops up. Then I am watching a turtles attempt to bite my booted foot. Thrilled, I yell, “Look! A turtle! He is trying to bite my foot!”

On the other side of the rocks and water I turn back and see the turtle has grown so large that it fills up the water and towers above me. I grab onto his shell, fascinated and overjoyed to be holding onto him. I can see and feel the shell. It is very real!

The turtle disappears and someone (the turtle maybe?) hands me a penny that is the size of a basketball. I am told to kiss the penny eight times, breathing in with one kiss and out with the other. I do this, knowing that I am setting an intention for all things to work in my favor. It is my “lucky penny”. I remember breathing in deeply and kissing the penny, flipping it over, breathing out and kissing it again. The penny looks very dark like the rest of the place, as if it has been sitting at the bottom of the dark water for ages.


When I wake up I know that my dream is showing me my future and giving me advice on how to handle what is to come. The darkness is the unknown. The black ship is the unknown, subconscious and perhaps unpleasant emotion. I enter it three times, each time encountering a dead-end filled with black boulders which are obstacles to progress. I do not give up and on the third try stop the boat and climb over the rocks across dark, deep water where I encounter a turtle. Turtles are wisdom and patience and this turtle feels like a guide. I am given an over-sized penny and told to kiss it eight times a certain way. Pennies are good luck and it feels that if I handle it correctly luck will be mine.

What is it I am looking for in this dark place? Well, prior to going there I am pulled into the snake woman where the Kundalini temps me. I do not resist but when asked to remain in the bliss I resist, recognizing it is not what I want. Specifically what I don’t want is the very sexually intense experience that tends to trap individuals in the lower chakras. I am shown that to find what I seek I must delve into “dark waters”. The ship keeps me afloat, though, which indicates I will not drown in the unknown but sail above it. Ultimately, I find a path through the darkness and a guide in the turtle. The penny can be luck as well as new beginnings.