Orphans at School

Prior to my unexpected OBE this morning, I had a very vivid dream.

Orphan at School

I was both the dreamer and the observer in this dream.

I watched as a small, blonde toddler was dropped off at an orphanage. She looked like a little baby doll with golden ringlets and cherub cheeks. She was scared and a group of older ladies ushered her into the building. Along the way she saw other little boys and girls her age and knew they had all been dropped at the orphanage.

There was a tall man and other adults who oversaw the orphanage. I remember that an older lady who looked like the fairy God Mother from Cinderella was talking with me and helping me adjust. I was asking her questions and I remember she told me that each of the new children got an entire roasted chicken to eat. She gave me mine and I took it. Later, I asked for something different to eat and she told me, “You will get chicken for the first week while you are adjusting”. I said, “Oh, but I wanted turkey”.

At one point I was told by a man who was the leader of this orphanage that I was not in an orphanage but in a school. When he told me I suddenly realized he was right and with that I changed from the little girl into an adult. As we talked I recognized that I was not dropped off either, but that I was sent there along with others to learn. The feeling I got was that this was a school to teach us how to use our abilities.

Understanding hit me and I immediately began to practice my abilities with the teacher. We put stood in front of one another and reached out, placing our hands in front of each other. Then we both sent energy toward one another through our hands and soon began to lift off the floor. I shot up quickly and laughed.

Afterward I was laying side by side with a man I didn’t know on one side and my teacher on the other. I recall being instructed to get to know the man and so when I did he began to kiss me and the next thing I knew we were having astral sex. The teacher was there and I remember asking if he wanted to join but he declined. Strangely, I did not wake up from this experience and I remember very little of the actual sexual act (thankfully).

Afterward we were all three together and the man I had been with sexually began to sing. He had such a beautiful voice and I remember wanting to join him. I was hit suddenly with such emotion that it woke me up.


The fact that I was a child in this dream and going to an orphanage symbolizes my fear, specifically of being abandoned and/or alone. The chicken also symbolizes fear. Based upon how the dream made me feel, I believe my guide was trying to get me to take the next step and we were discussing my fear of it. Later in the dream I must have taken that step because I “grew up” and began to practice my abilities.

Conversation with Guide

When I woke up I had tears in my eyes. I saw it was 5am and I was made because I had specifically asked to not have in-depth dreams that woke me up! Despite being upset, I recognized that I was being shown something but at the time I did not want to acknowledge it.

My guide began to ask me to listen, he wanted to tell me something. I told him, “Not now. I want to sleep!” But he kept bugging me and so I rolled over on my back and tried to listen. I fell into the in-between several times at t his point and kept waking up in the midst of receiving information.

I only remember a few things but one was that in the coming weeks there would be more negative things happening on Earth similar to the recent plane crash. More people were going to die. I did not want to hear about negative things and so told my guide this quite sternly. Another thing I remembered was being told that I needed to remember the things that made me the happiest in life – one of those is singing as was revealed in the dream. Finally, I recall seeing a map of the U.S. and instantly rejecting the message that came with it which was again about future weather-related disasters in the east and southeast. There were other brief beginnings of messages along with a feeling of urgency. I was in no mood to hear them, though and kept asking to sleep.

The last thing I remember was arguing with my guide in the in-between. That is when I realized I could exit my body and so that is exactly what I did.

OBE: Going Home via the Spiritual Processing Hub

I became aware while in the in-between. My guide was trying to get me to listen to something he had to say and I had no interest. When I woke up in this state I immediately knew I had a choice – experience kundalini rising which would result in orgasmic sensations or have an OBE. I chose the latter.

Spiritual Processing Hub

There were no vibrations, just a knowing I could exit and that is exactly what I did.

I just got up out of my body and found my vision was compromised. I felt like a blind person!

I knew I was in the etheric as the energy was somewhat dense and sluggish. So I immediately went to my bedroom door and felt around for it. When I found it I stopped and set the intention to pop out on the other side. It didn’t work and so I ended up opening the door.

On the other side of the door I was met by a woman. I did not see her really, just felt her and saw her shadow similar to what one sees when the are seeing in the dark. I was pleased to have a companion and asked her, “What’s your name?”

She replied, “Trick”.

She took my hand and led me to the stairs and we began to descend.

I thought again about her name and asked, “What was your name again?”

She replied, “Treat”.

I said, “That is a strange name”. (I laugh now as her name was literally “Trick or Treat”)

We continued to descend flight after flight of stairs and I realized I was not in my home but somewhere else. My mood was very happy and there was a full feeling in my chest like excitement being contained.

When we got to the bottom of the stairs my vision began to open up and I could see her more clearly. She was a Hispanic woman with long, wavy black hair. She was taller than me and thin and very attractive.

She let go of my hand and began to depart. I called back to her, “Where am I?”

She said, “I don’t know”.

I looked up and saw her above me on the stairs looking down at me. She began to speak in Spanish. She said a whole sentence but all I recall now is “para mi trabajo”. I understood what she said to mean that all she knew was that her job was to take me to this place and now she was done.

Alone now, I looked around and my vision was bright and crisp. I was standing in a large hallway that reminded me of a conference building. In front of me were tall windows and a glass door leading into another room. I went toward it but paused as I noticed a man walking down the hall toward me. He was wearing a blue janitor’s uniform and holding a broom. He was Hispanic and looking right at me. I wondered what to do for a moment and then decided to go through the glass doors.

When I went inside there were people mingling about. I saw couples of individuals talking dressed in nice clothing with cups in their hands. I recognized that I had entered into a social gathering similar to a cocktail party.

A couple was right in front of me. The dark haired woman wearing a blue cocktail dress and holding a martini looked and then stared at me. Others in the room where also staring and I realized suddenly that my breasts were exposed. The woman in blue smiled as I pulled up my top and covered myself. Then everyone seemed to ignore me and go back to socializing.

universeI walked through the room and it opened up into this expansive area that reminded me of the inside of an airport. It had very high ceilings and was a bright, golden color. What was amazing to me was how many people were inside! There were thousands of them all coming and going! I observed that most were going to stand in long lines. The lines were all over the place. Some winding to the right and others going to the left.

I was in awe and so pleased as I walked amidst the crowds of happy, brightly dressed people. They were of all ages and races and most were adults. However, I saw a group of small children to my right in a sitting area. There was a large set of windows that led outside where there was a gigantic playground. I saw older women with the children. Some of the women had three or four and were holding babies and toddlers in their arms. I saw children happily playing on the playground and I had such joy in my heart when I saw them. I remembered my own childhood and felt the thrill of it rise up in my chest. I wanted to join them but felt I should not and so moved on.

I passed close by an older woman holding a toddler as I moved away. I then ran into a long, winding line of people and had to push my way through an opening. I said, “Excuse me” as I squeezed through and a tall, blonde man reached out with his hand and touched my side. I turned and he smiled at me as if he were saying, “Welcome”. I smiled back and continued on my way.

On the other side of the line I paused and turned to face the crowds of people. I looked down at my hands and they were clear without any glow and I could see my arms all the way up to my biceps. I jumped with glee because I was overcome with such a feeling of being Home and felt inside, “I made it!” I am not sure where this feeling came from but I was almost overwhelmed by it and there was a quiet thought that said, “Remember, emotional objectivity”.

I calmed a bit upon hearing this and then heard, “Do you feel the wind?” And suddenly I was distinctly aware that I felt so much, I felt completely and utterly ALIVE! The wind blew over my skin and I could feel the hairs on my arms and my skin tighten with goosebumps. I twirled around and spread my arms out like a child and spun and spun.

The wind picked up and my vision blacked out. I almost panicked but again just surrendered to it. I felt myself picked up by the wind and then I became the wind, blowing to a new place. I felt almost as if I dematerialized and though it was new and somewhat scary, I did not end up back in my body.

When I settled and felt whole again I opened my eyes but could not see. I was somewhere new and I felt a presence with me but could not see. I spoke to him, “Where am I now?”

I got no reply.

I felt around and felt to be in an enclosed place. As I felt around I kept asking where I was and got no reply.

Finally my vision came back and I saw that I was inside a vehicle that resembled my own SUV. All the seats were down and I was in the trunk, or so it seemed. In front of me I saw the windshield and outside were millions upon trillions of stars! I also felt to be moving, as if in a spaceship but it looked like my SUV.

I then said, “I’m flying through galaxies in outer space!” It was meant like a question but came out an exclamation.

My vision then blacked out and I felt myself come back to my body quite quickly. My heart was pounding and I had to take a few deep breathes to get it to calm. I knew instantly my guide had resorted to OBE to get me to listen. It worked and I was pleased with the message I got.

I knew also I had been taken to a spiritual hub; a place where people go after death to continue to their next destination. That is what all the lines were – people heading Home.

That is why I felt I had made it Home. I had.

Factors Influencing Projection

Lucidity scale: 9

Intent stated?: Yes

Time to bed: 9pm

Time to wake: 5am

Meditation?: No

Physical Exercise?: None

Mood: normal

Body: None

Tiredness: Low

Number of wakings: 2

Technique?: WBTB

Sleeping position: Back

Supplements: Multivitamin, Natural Calm 400mg, Sleepy Time Extra Tea, Biotin 1000mg, Vitamin E 400mg, Calcium 500mg, Vitamin D 350mg, Bendadryl 25mg

Essential Oils: none

Tending House

My sleep is being interrupted again and this time I cannot return to sleep. My dreams are very involved and near lucid, making it difficult for me: 1. to forget and 2. to get a good rest.

Runaway Truck

I recall watching from above, as if viewing a movie, as a green garbage truck drove itself down a road. It then changed its mind and turned around. It did this again and again running into things in the process. I recall having a discussion with a police officer from a large city about this disturbance at the time. The feeling was that I was overseeing this small town and was being evaluated by my supervisor.

Me and my supervisor then hovered over continents of green. I had a feeling of being a traveler at this time and reviewing past travels. I do not remember all that was said but there was a mini-story in which I was with a group deciding where to go next.

I then was on land in a field of green watching my superior talking to an old woman. The old lady had Alzheimer’s and I recognized she had been the truck from before. Now she was driving an ATV amidst a field of buffalo. She accidentally ran into a cow and apologized as she returned. I watched all of this as an observer.


A garbage truck is a symbol of old habits that need to be “trashed”. To be a police officer represents one’s morality and conscience. Since my superior is also an officer it suggests I am being helped to follow this moral path. The Alzheimer’s woman likely symbolizes me and my “forgetfulness”. Since the woman runs into a buffalo, which symbolizes survival, strength or power, it suggests that my forgetfulness could harm my survival.

Tending House

I was watering my lawn which was dying and being overgrown by weeds. A kindly neighbor was helping me decide where to water. On one side I discovered a rocky creek with towering trees built into my yard. The trees went up so high I could not see the sky through them. I recall thinking someone had planted them all at the same time.

Inside I was rearranging furniture. I had three living areas and saw more towering trees, this time inside the house! There were people working on art projects as well. I complimented a student on his. He wheeled toward me a cart with a tray of opaque, white goo on it. They were heating it up. Another tray contained pomegranate but it looked more like circular, gel balls. I took one ball and mixed it with the goo and heated it up. I scortched it a little but then took the ball and rubbed it on my feet.


A house is an aspect of my subconscious. The front yard is the part of me I allow others to see. I have weeds in my yard suggesting there are things needing tending to in my life. The water is emotion and my attempt to grow positive relationships in my life. The trees represent a positive aspect of this part of me, specifically my spiritual development and focus on myself. It is the most orderly part of the yard.

Inside my house there are also trees indicating strength. Living rooms represents beliefs I have about myself and life and the barriers I put up between my public and private self. The pomegranate represents good health but also the allure and invitation of sex. The fact that I am rubbing this into my feet suggests that I am seeking to add this into my life and identity.

I felt really off when I woke up over an hour before I was suppose to. I told my guides, “If my sleep is going to keep being interrupted by these weird dreams, I would rather not remember them”. I was reminded of the time period when I did this before and how lacking I felt. I saw this truth but then also saw there was still something lacking. I recognized this “lacking” to be what is interrupting my sleep and causing me to feel disconnected from my life. I saw then the connection between my feet in the dream and my current feelings of being disconnected from my life.

Current Symptoms of the Shift

  • Interrupted sleep
  • Weird dreams
  • Shooting pain up and down right side of body (brief episodes)
  • Itchy Dry skin/acne
  • Melancholy
  • Disinterest in life
  • Aches and pains in body
  • Ringing in ears
  • Moments in life hitting me with vivid clarity/being fully Present
  • Zoning out during the day
  • Disconnected feeling
  • Thirsty
  • Nausea in morning
  • Sty in left eye
  • Restless legs/shooting pains in legs
  • Having to ground at night more often
  • Visual anomalies – lights, flashes, colors, shapes

You are the Lotus – Message from the High Council

Like many others right now, I am finding myself conflicted with myself over some things in my life. It is not with all things that this happens. As I wrote yesterday, I most often do not disagree with the adjustments and changes I am being asked to consider. However, there is a big one that keeps coming to me: slowly remove myself from social media and decrease my focus upon spiritual pursuits and in turn put my focus more upon living life. In this one small action I allow myself to experience more fully that which I came here to do.

I do not remember my dreams from last night but when I awoke I knew this change was something I was being asked to consider. Thus, I was not happy when I opened my eyes. I did not want to get out of my bed. There is still a part of me that wants to put all my focus in the spiritual but I know, I KNOW, this is not good and will not help me advance.

I decided then and there to stop completely my focus upon the spiritual (this is normal for me – all or nothing mentality) and heard right away my guide saying, “You do not have to do that. Just focus on both equally”.

I don’t know if I can.

As I sat down to write about my experiences I got a message. Perhaps this will resonate with some of you as well.

There comes a time amidst and within the depths of the most uniquely challenging aspects of the Shift, that you will find yourself split between the “I” of the old you and the “We” of the new you. As this occurs, you will feel undoubtedly conflicted about what to do and sometimes even what exactly it is that you are feeling.

This particular process is what you have come here to experience. That which was the old way of living life on Earth is now being discarded, tossed into the wind. Within this action of letting go there is always to be expected some resistance. Fear, nervous apprehension – this is unmistakably the hardest aspect of the Shift many will encounter. It is important that during this time you listen to you inner, most deepest longings; that part of you that wells up from within when you are moved by a moment of love. This part of you, the We that has been emerging for some time, wants only to embrace you and help you lovingly transition into this new world. Like the lotus flower, you will emerge bright and open to experiences, lovingly accepting all that Is into your arms without judgement or self-interest. This is where you will land when this culminating period passes.

All is within your reach.

Do you see it? It is right in front of you! There you are!! Aren’t you beautiful!?

Shifting Perspective

My perception seems to be shifting. I think it has been going on for some time now but only now am I starting to recognize it as such. Let me explain.

I am finding that I am not motivated to do things for myself as I once use to be. I have always been a very, very selfish person. I struggle with my selfishness problem. Motherhood made my problem even more painfully obvious to me. Yet, even motherhood did not bring about such a dramatic shift in my perception. It helped, yes, but that alone cannot be blamed for this change.

I am by no means saying I am no longer selfish BUT my selfish thoughts are matter-of-factually slammed down by the other Me almost immediately. What is even funnier and out of character for me is that I step back humbly and accept it most of the time. Other times I still argue with myself; yet ultimately I back down.

Above all else, though, the perception shift seems to be that I am becoming less me and more Me. I don’t know how else to put it. The me who wants all the attention, all the credit, all the notice is being overtaken by a Me that wants to give all that away.

It makes me want to cry – in joy and grief at the same time. I am at a loss.

Swamp Man

Besides the two OBEs I had last night/this morning, I also had vivid dreams in between. In fact, I was dreaming and waking and dreaming and waking all night long. I don’t feel very rested this morning.

Swamp Man

This dream was set in the country. I was with other people talking about different plots of land; farms that were being renovated.

We walked to a small farm that was hidden amidst trees. There was a rundown one-room cabin that no one lived in and I wandered off to explore.

I came upon what appeared to be an animal covered in mud. I was standing atop a hill of dirt and leaves and looked down at him. I had pity for him and so fed him some grass, which he ate. He then moved closer and I finally recognized him as a man. I said, “You’re human!” I could see his face showing through some patches of mud and slime.

Now friends, we walked toward the house that was being renovated and discussed the plumbing. He showed me how they had hooked up the hot water heater and I saw this pump at the base of the house with pipes coming out. He mentioned that the pipes leaked and I saw they were leaking at the joints. We discusses probable solutions and I told him that it made more sense to just rip out all the old plumbing and replace it rather than try to fix really old, brittle pipes.

The Swamp Man then embraced me and I was caught up in an intense energy that woke me up. This is when I felt intense energy sensations and went OOB for the first of two times that night.

Heroine Addict

I was with a group of people inside an apartment in the Projects. No one was inside and we were going to make a recipe and needed specific ingredients. I recall looking for cornmeal and searching through food on the counter and finding some. There was a conversation about being lied to about the results achieved from using this particular recipe.

I was then watching an older, light skinned, African American woman talking to a man. Her face was very vivid in the dream. She had her hair underneath a cloth and was about 50 years of age. She was a Heroine addict but did not appear to be high.

The man with her was interrogating her about our recent visit. What was interesting was how clean her apartment was and how high class it appeared. I could see the other apartments around hers and they were also very high class and upscale. I remember thinking, “They sure have it nice here”.

colors dropplet ripples waterShower

The dreams continued but I will skip to the last one.

There was this very large, glass encased shower. It was the size of a small office. A woman and a man were going inside. I was also inside at times and recall the water coming out of a shower head high above us. It was misting and we were all asked to inhale the midst. This was linked to the heroine dream and I recall thinking this was a way to detox.

I had the idea to change the flow and when I did the mist stopped and a flood of water came out. It was suggested to me that this was not best and so I turned it back to the mist.

It was then that I noticed the man in the shower was the Swamp Man from my previous dream. There he was covered in mud and in front of him was an older woman whose nakedness was very obvious. They embraced and the woman’s breasts pressed up against the Swamp Man and he kissed them. I was completely grossed out by this! The woman caressed the man’s head and I saw the mud begin to come off. There was a bright blue, scaly patch on his head that seemed to glow. I noticed it with great interest and came in for a closer look. It was then that I saw who the Swamp Man really was – he was the man who called himself “Tom Arnold” from my previous OBE!

I immediately awoke from the dream overcome with such loss that I cannot explain. I recognized my guide from the dream and began to talk with him about what was going on. I felt such loss, as if I had let myself down. I did not understand why I was failing at this task!

There was energy all over me, specifically at my crown and the back of my head. I also felt it intensely in my throat, which is a first for me.

I asked “Tom” why he was all covered in mud. He said, “You don’t want to see me”. I also knew this meant there was something about myself I did not want to see. Our conversation revealed that I am afraid to really “see” myself. I am also afraid to trust myself.

I cannot see the truth in the world and in others if I cannot see it within myself.

I was told that I am close and to not despair. But how could I not? The feeling of failure was so intense that I could not return to sleep. As I tried, I was asked to consider how I could lift my spirits, and thus my energy. I resolved to focus upon my family. When I finally fell asleep, I went OOB and had my second OBE of the night.

City of Gold

I had a lot happen last night so this post will focus only upon the OBEs I had.

Wrapped in a Blanket

I had been dreaming and had an encounter that was sexual in nature that woke me up. When I awoke my body was abuzz with energy – vibrations on full force; head covered in energy; loud, high pitched ringing in the center of my head; third-eye, throat and second chakra buzzing pleasantly. I felt my guide near and so stated, “I want to astral”. While he was responding I rolled out of my body and off the side of the bed.

I immediately had full perceptions and was standing in the living area of my Mom’s house. A bit thrown off by this immediate trans-location, I took in my surroundings. It was light but not vividly bright and I could see the tile floor. In front of me was a medium-sized child wrapped in a green blanket. I did not recognize him but he came toward me and I ended up wrapped up with him. The speed of this occurrence surprised me and I went back into my body.

City of Gold

I awoke at 5am and my guide was close, talking to me. I will include what we discussed in another post, but I ended up going downstairs to get something to eat and then fell back to sleep. I again stated that I wanted to astral.

I became lucid within a dream and felt the vibrations signaling that I could exit. As soon as I intended, I was OOB.

For some reason this initial section of the OBE is blurry. At the time it was intensely vivid but now I can only grasps aspects of it. I know that I was inside a house that was similar to my Mom’s but wasn’t that house. I also recall that I stated out loud my intent which was, “I want to truly see myself”.

I recall mostly vivid colors – a golden yellow, orange, white swirls and other vivid colors. I also know I was flying and talking with my guide as I flew. I ended up outside at one point and saw the trees of my mother’s yard and the blue sky. I recall feeling very free and alive, as if I was the most powerful person in the world.

There was an instant when I began to feel my energy lag and my vision began to darken. I paused and stated to myself, “I need more energy” and then said, “More energy”. Before I was finished saying it I felt myself being pulled swiftly upward with such a velocity that my vision completely blacked out. At the same time I felt as if I were being pulled by my eyeballs and there was a sensations of them being peeled from the front to the back of my head. It was almost like someone had put hooks into my eyes and pulled; as if I were a fish being reeled in. Along with this weird feeling was the most massive amount of energy I think I have ever felt in astral. I cannot even describe it but at the time I thought that I was being taken to a different level or plane. I panicked at first but then let go, resolving to surrender to whatever was happening.

When the sensation of movement stopped, the energy settled down and my vision came back. I was standing in front of a mirror inside the house. There I saw myself looking back at myself as clear as day. My hair was a bit longer than it is now, maybe shoulder length, and my face had acne spots on it.

I smiled at myself and then said out loud, “Oh, so I am seeing myself! I get it”. I did not get disappointed even though I had meant something other than actually getting a visual glimpse of myself. I actually laughed at how literal requests are taken! I should have known!

I moved on from this point and flew out the window. I decided to state a different intent and said, “I want to see the past life that is most influencing me right now”. I actually reworded this a couple of times before settling on the final version.

mandalaWhen I was done stating my intent I heard voices of children and saw a young boy running below me. I quickly hid up under the tree canopy and watched as he and a group of boys rushed up underneath. Some had skateboards and at first I was afraid. I immediately told myself, “They are me” and calmed down, then went down to join them.

I talked to them for a bit, commenting on one boy’s skateboard. Then I invited them to come with me and we flew up into the air towards the road. One of the boys pointed to the sky and said, “That’s not good” and I looked and saw dark storm clouds in the distance. There was a shaft of energy shooting from the cloud straight into the ground. The energy was black mixed with other colors, especially white.

I told the boy, “Oh, that is a portal!” As I said it, the portal split off and became several small tornadoes. I had thought I would investigate but now thought different and so went the other way. The boys followed.

For a time I flew along with the boys and began to sing with all my heart, “I can see the light, oh-oh-oh”. The song was beautiful and I even heard voices accompanying me. Unfortunately, my vision began to falter despite singing. I was pulled upward very quickly once again and I just let it happen, dropping all resistance. My vision got dark but did not black out and I could sense the kids behind me. When my vision returned we were standing on a golden bridge that led into an entire city made of gold!

I went to explore the city and came upon a fountain made of gold. What was amazing about it is how detailed and intricate the design was. Below the surface of the clearest water I have ever seen was a golden, flowery mandala pattern. Fascinated, I went closer and attempted to put my foot into the water. When I did I felt an odd sensation and awoke in my body needing to swallow.

Factors Influencing Projection

Lucidity scale: 7

Intent stated?: Yes

Time to bed: 9pm

Time to wake: More times than I can count, last time was 5am

Meditation?: No

Physical Exercise?: None

Mood: normal

Body: None

Tiredness: Low

Number of wakings: 4+

Technique?: WBTB

Sleeping position: Back

Supplements: Multivitamin, Natural Calm 400mg, Sleepy Time Extra Tea, Biotin 1000mg, Evening Primrose Oil 1300mg, Vitamin E 400mg, Calcium 500mg, Vitamin D 350mg

Essential Oils: Whisper Blend

House Swap

Another extended dream from two nights ago. I awoke several times between scenes but it continued.

House Swap

I was standing with my husband next to a newly purchased five gallon container of paint. A man walks by and stops. He asks if he can exchange something for our paint. My husband heartily agrees. He hands over the paint and the man gives us a huge pile of things from a wagon.

The next thing I know we are swapping entire households. I go inside the house of the man to look for things I want and pick out two boxes of wood floor cleaner. I completely ignore the tackle box of fishing supplies and other outdoor gear piled next to it. I go outside and our car is packed full of things and our family is ready to leave.

We get to our new home and it is in a different state, I believe the state of Virginia. We look around and find the house acceptable and nice. I remember my husband leaves and I am left home alone quite a bit and have time to think. I remember thinking, “I don’t even remember our old house now”. I also remember that I was alone with our baby.

My husband comes in and says he is starting a moving company. He shows me a packet of papers with my private information on them. I think it is my credit report. He says he is starting the company using my name and credit. I am shocked but do not tell him no.

I go into the back room and see that it is empty but nicely decorated. There is a shower in the middle of the room, which is odd, and large windows take up the entire back wall. There is a glass door that leads outside but I look at the window on the other side and see that it has a wooden shade drawn over it. I can see people outside and green from the trees and grass. I think about ways to rearrange the room so the shower is not in the middle.

I turn my focus to the outside and end up standing outside with my three children. It is a beautiful back yard! There is a large swimming pool in the middle and rock landscaping and waterfalls. There are neighbors wandering around with their children as if it is there place. I run around telling them to leave and decide that I want to put up a fence.

We continue to enjoy the pool and my husband joins us. My children are running about and I am exploring. I can see the green hills in the background and a teak wood fence in the back. There are also four small hot tubs at each of the four corners of the yard. I remember thinking the central pool represented the “heart” and the hot tubs represent each of the four elements. The large pool is in the center and there is a patch of grass near it where my family is sitting enjoying the day.

My youngest son wanders too close to the edge of the pool and falls in. I immediately jump in, clothes and all, and retrieve him. He is safe.

I then walk to the back of the yard taking pictures to share with family because this new place is amazing to me. I click a few photos of the back yard and fence. In one photo I see a black smoky looking form. Its face is evil looking with large, empty eyes and mouth wide open as if to bite someone. I am not afraid of it and just say aloud to myself, “Wow, I wonder where that came from”.

moor2I am then looking out the back windows at the hills and the sunrise as my oldest daughter prepares to go to school. We watch as the bus travels a mountain road toward us and I feel peaceful and happy. It is a place I want to stay and although I do not have a job I am fine with that. I decide I want to explore the town at some point and decide to do so the next day.

When I wake up I am confused by the dream because it felt so real and I have trouble determining if it was real or not. I wonder what it means and suspect I am being asked to move forward with something. Healing perhaps?

Extended Dreams

I have not yet shared the occurrences of what I will call “extended dreams” yet because it was not yet known to me. However, I am certain now of the existence of such a dream and the purpose of it.

Extended Dream

This is night two of a dream that goes on all night despite my waking and staying awake and even trying to not dream the same dream. The vividness and detail of the dream sequence cannot be ignored, nor can the very obvious messages and purpose. I am calling this phenomenon an extended dream. It may have another name but I don’t have time to research it. Please let me know if there is such a term so I can use it from now on. 🙂

This is night two of an extended dream sequence. I spent most of the day yesterday contemplating whether to write out another dream sequence since it followed me most of the day, always at the back of my mind. Last night’s is similar so I guess I need to inspect these phenomenon more closely.

Rather than write it all out in detail (which would take way too long), I will summarize it.

The dream sequence repeats on a theme which is that I am either being propositioned for sex or sexual advances are subtly being made toward me. In all instances I am not afraid but very cautious and avoidant. Sometimes the person is a stranger and other times someone I know. This is not the first time this theme has presented itself.

Almost Rape

I was asleep in a bed in an unfamiliar room. I was “at work” but resting.

A man climbed into bed with me. I was not asleep but pretended to be and became very cautious. Why was a man in my bed?

He moved in very close to me, spooning with me. I remained quiet and I heard him express to himself in a whisper, “I wish she would wake up”.

I finally moved and confronted him. He moved in to kiss me and I resisted, turning toward the bedside phone and grabbing it. I picked it up and it was already connected. I heard static and voices on the line. I told the man, “I am calling for help. They will come get you”. He got out of bed and began to leave and I heard voices in the hall. A man and a woman in camouflage approached and said they had heard my call. The promptly took the man away. I felt relieved.

I woke up at this point for a while, asking to astral and was denied.

The dream resumed when I fell asleep. I left the room to visit a friend. She was tall with short blonde hair. I felt uneasy for some reason as I sat and spoke with her and her husband. I suddenly had the idea that I should tell them about the rape. While telling them about it I recalled to myself, “It was a dream, though” but I kept talking as if it were real.

I got plenty of sympathy and the woman went into the other room. The husband, who had reddish orange hair and was familiar to me, came over to me and placed his hand on my left shoulder. I suddenly felt very uncomfortable and knew he was coming onto me. I pretended like nothing was going on and he spoke to me about how sorry he was, that no one should be treated that way. He continued to move in close and I could feel his breath on my neck.

His wife came in and he withdrew. I thought to myself, “He is going to keep doing this and I won’t be able to resist”. Part of me wanted to embrace him.

I went outside to get into my car and climbed inside. The seat was in the middle and far up, as if elevated. I could see the control panel and it was like a space ship. The red-haired man was behind me. I got in and told him I had to adjust the seat. I sat in it and pushed a lever but noticed that we were already moving. I told him, “I haven’t even put the keys in!” He told me to steer the car, so I did as I put in the keys and it started up.

The man said he had the address of the attempted rapist. He showed me a paper with it written on it. All I remember now is that is was at the number 101. He gave me directions and I drove the car along a city street that quickly turned into a highway overpass. The speed limit dropped to 25mph and I was nervous as I drove high above the other roads.

I woke at this time and stayed awake again asking to astral. I again heard, “No”.

When I fell back to sleep the dream resumed. I was in front of what appeared to be a casino. I saw this stepped machine and tried to drive my car up it. I instead rammed into it and immediately apologized to the woman behind the counter. I saw I had damaged my car but not the machine. She asked an assistant to look at the machine which promptly fell apart. She told me i had to wait 40 minutes so I told the red-haired man and he went off to look for the rapist.

energyhealingAs I waited I spoke with the Asian lady asking her how she would prove I broke her machine and telling her it was not really broken. I recognized the cameras and gave up and she told me of her dream to become a car salesman. I thought it stupid as I listened to her. I resolved myself to have to pay for my crime.

It was then that I seemed to be both myself and a dark haired man. The Asian woman, who I can see clear as day, watched as I inspected the other casino machines. There was a large, fist sized gold coin and she said, “You found a quarter”. She then told me to do something, so I humored her and did it. She smiled and said, “You won!” and it was thousands of dollars. She took a portion to pay for the damage I had made and handed me a pile of odd looking over-sized green bills. I knew it was $70,000+ dollars and I heard the thoughts of the man (who was also me but not me) and said to him, “You are going to let her keep it, aren’t you?” when I recognized the intent to let her have what she wanted: her own car sales business. I felt happy for her and happy to help her have her dream but at the same time I was completely confused. Only a stupid person would give up that amount of money! Yet the man who was also me did it without reservation and with complete joy.

I awoke still feeling the conflict and wondering about the dream.

I again asked to astral and was told, “No”. I asked why and heard, “Your heart” and along with that came a message that I was healing past hurt, hurt that was done to me and that I had done to others. This healing trumped any OOB exploration. I immediately knew that I was still holding much pain from the many lives where I had been sexually abused or assaulted. I am thankful I do not feel the pain in the present. The pain I have inflicted upon others is also a burden I bear and it causes me to distrust myself. Every dream of sexual advancement is me trying to open up to myself and then rejecting myself. Sigh.