Percolation and Transmutation All Over Again

Percolate. Transmute. Rinse. Repeat.

The energy peaks, then subsides. Peaks. Subsides. Peaks. Subsides.

You get the idea.

This is the process that raises one’s vibration. It is slow and intentional. It is the reason we feel so often like we are on a roller coaster. Yet, if you have noticed, the roller coaster feeling has lessened. The intense high’s and low’s are leveling out.

Our cycles are changing as well. Our physical body cycles such as our sleep cycle, dream cycle, circadian rhythm, and biorhythms are changing. This is also true of Mother Earth and can be seen in nature such as shifts in migration patterns, weather cycles, and ocean currents. 

We are also practicing, preparing, for a different shift, one into a higher vibration, a peak vibration, which has yet to arrive. There is talk that we have entered into 5D. In actuality, the shift into 5D is individual and not a “mass event”. What in fact has occurred is that we have reached a point in vibration where we now have access to 5D, when before the highest we could sustain was 4D. Just having access does not, however, mean that we live there nor does it mean we are even capable of sustaining this level of vibration for long periods of time.

I am told very, very few are able to access this vibration at this time and those who do, do so with significant assistance.

What is important here is that 5D is now accessible to the human biological organism via its operating components. In other words, a specific number of those occupying human bodies have recovered ability enough to access this vibration now.

Do not focus on whether you yourself have entered yet into this vibration for that is not the concern nor will it ever be. Focus instead on the progress you have made; the leaps and bounds in spiritual evolution you have made and the ones you will yet to make. This is to be celebrated. 

Many of you have reached a point in your transition where you are attending “class”, for lack of a better descriptive word. Your memory of these events will be limited, though some will have full awareness of their attendance. These classes are initiations that will act as triggers for movement into 5D. In these classes you will practice crossing dimensions and the maintenance of multiple dimensional experience, the results of which will prepare you for the transition into higher states of awareness and Being.  

Your Star brothers and sisters are already celebrating the coming of the Great Age when they (we) will finally be reunited. There is great joy in your hearts, in our hearts, as we come ever closer to this reunion. Enjoy this moment for it is one that has been anticipated for many a millennia.

Note: This post was not intended to be a channel but became such as it was written. I have not edited it to show where I speak and the collective speak. The experience of writing it is curious to me because as it flowed out of me my heart chakra felt to be moving up into my throat and out beyond the limits of my body. I literally felt my energy “rising up” into my third-eye and crown in the moments that the collective came through and my entire body began to vibrate. An amazing feeling!

Testing, Testing 1-2-3

I believe I have been presented with the test I was warned about yesterday morning.

While at work yesterday I received emails from a person who was brought in to take over the work of someone who had not done their job correctly. Rumor is that she is kind of a workhorse and uber control freak. Anyway, the email was questioning my current and past activity in a realm of education that I am not trained or knowledgeable in. Her emails were not rude but were very forceful and I felt personally singled out and made wrong.

It had been a good day despite not getting enough sleep the night before and so the emails were a bit left field and unexpected. Come to find out I am now expected to do additional paperwork and who knows what other expectations I will hear about today. I also suspect a meeting at some point based upon this woman’s past and her present position(s) in the company.

If you have been following my blog then you know I recently considered leaving this part-time job for various reasons, the main reason being the special education component that seems ever-growing as the days and weeks pass. This particular email and resulting “expectations” are part of this ever-growing problem.

In my 10+ (lost count now really) years in education I have always hated the special education system, the paperwork, never-ending meetings, loop holes, favoritism, politics, etc that go with it. I believe it is a system that actually does a disservice to those in it rather than helping them, which is its primary intention. Additionally, the system, which was once avoided like the plague by parents who feared the label following their kids through life, has now become a sought-after program by parents wanting their children to get “special” attention even when their kid could manage without it.

Without going into more examples and ranting (which does no one any good really), I will say that I have determined the “system” – both the special education system and the education system as a whole – is a lost cause overrun by bureaucracy and politics. The system has lost its way. Education is not fun, it is tedious and wrought with booby traps. I feel for our future students as this system is doomed to failure.

testSo What is the Test?

I believe that this situation has been presented to me once again so that I can inspect it in more detail. On one hand I have a the strong, life-long goal of helping others, specifically those who cannot help themselves (the children in this case). On the other hand I have a similarly strong dislike for a bureaucratic system which puts money, politics and paperwork in front of the needs of those it is serving.

Often in this life I have come up against similar decisions. I mush weigh the potential positive outcomes with the potential negatives. Ultimately I must ask myself, “Is it worth it?”

One might think this decision easy, but for me it is not. My desire to help is quite strong. I enjoy working with students in the capacity that I am. I just do not enjoy the never-ending hoops I must jump through in order to do this. These barriers are why I did not continue to pursue my LPC. Too many laws, tests, and other accountability measures that I was/am not willing to deal with. I can understand having some accountability – fine – but when it becomes a hindrance to my work then I am in no way supportive of it.

I am blessed to be at a point in my life to have the financial security to leave my job. It is quite a relief to know that I do not need the money and can move on without issue. However, I still balk at the idea of leaving. Why is that? What is so difficult about making this choice? Is it the consideration that I will have “failed”? Is it the loyalty to the students who I help? Or is there something still left to be done?

In the past I have held on for longer than needed, hoping for some sign or some situation that forces a decision. Is this the “wrong” way? I wonder. I spent 7 years of my career waiting and ended up in such an awful place that I suffered from insomnia, depression and a near mental breakdown. I do not want to go through that again. I do not want to wait until my job is unbearable to leave it. But when to leave? Now when the signs suggest more problems will come? Or later, when the problems are upon me?

I don’t want to be a coward and I don’t want to mess up. I think, ultimately, that is why I stay even when I feel I should leave.

Flashing Lights

Speaking of “signs”, this morning as I was dosing, I was brought to full awareness by very bright red and blue flashing lights – the lights of a police car. When I saw them I acknowledged the message. But what does it mean? Is it just a reflection of my consideration of this decision? Or is it that help is on the way?

When I see the lights I think I am in trouble. That is my first assumption in general. I mean, how do you feel when you are driving and all of a sudden you see those lights behind you? I am filled with a deep sense of dread and anxiety. I immediately wonder what I did wrong and assume I am in trouble. Even knowing this is not always the case – police are here to hep (my ex was in law enforcement!) – I worry. This is not always the case, but most of the time it is and I get a ticket.

So what to do? Stay or go? Sigh.

It Has Begun

I’ve been up since 3:30am.

I was having a cool semi-lucid dream where I was running along a country road alone in the evening. The sun was setting and I decided to turn around before it got too dark. As I turned, I saw a mother javelina (wild pig) with her piglets. I avoided her, knowing they can be fierce.

As I ran I saw another mother pig and her babies. And another after that. One turned around and acted like she was going to follow me. I made a huffing noise at her to keep her at bay. Then I stopped and decided to confront her. I turned toward her and that is when I was awakened.

I heard my guide say, “It has begun”.

I heard the song, “Age of Aquarius” and began singing it in my head. I couldn’t get it out of my head.

Not interested in waking up, I told my guide to please let me just dream the message. I said, “I want to sleep”.

As I began to drift, I heard, “On the eve of the full moon”.

This woke me again. I knew the entire message was to expect something to begin on the eve of the full moon. “Is this considered the eve or is it tomorrow night?”, I wondered to myself.

Settling, I began to drift off again.

I heard, “Veinte-four”.

I knew this meant, “24” and wondered why they said it in partial Spanish. What is with me always hearing Spanish?

I drifted once again and heard, “There is a test in 24 hours. Are you ready?”.

I awoke, and responded, “I guess so”. Then I told this voice (I didn’t recognize it), “Please let me sleep”.

Again, I drifted.

Then very distinctly I heard, “A second wave is coming”.

“What?” I thought back, wide awake yet again.

“What does this wave mean? What is going to happen?” I wondered.

Restless, I began to drift again.

Then I heard very clearly, “Re-Creation – the fruits of hybridization”.

Awake yet again I caught the phrase thought, “That sounds like something Bashar would say”.

I tried to go back to sleep but felt that I needed to write it all down. “Maybe then you will let me sleep?” I thought.

After writing it down, I tried to sleep but couldn’t. I felt the urge to just get up and write down my questions and the answers I received. I chose not to, hoping instead that I would get some sleep.

“Why are you doing this?” I asked.

“To prepare you”, he said.

“Okay, okay, I’m prepared already!” I thought back to him. “Can I please get some sleep now?”

“You don’t need sleep”, I heard in response to my thought. For some reason I knew this to be true.

Then I asked, “When is the next ‘wave’?”

I heard, “January”.

I felt I should write it down. I didn’t and told my Team (who I could feel distinctly by this time), “I will remember it when I write down the message about the second wave”. I nearly forgot it despite this, though.

Continuing, my thoughts went back to the information I had just received. I knew these “waves” were waves of energy that contained messages, or “transmissions”.  In response to this memory, I was told these transmissions act as memory triggers for the Starseeds. With this, I saw the familiar vision of millions of tiny stars falling to the Earth – not meteorites but Beings from the stars. I asked, “How many [Starseeds] are there?” I heard back, “4 million”.

Unfortunately, I did not get back to sleep. My youngest awoke and began to run through the hallway screaming and running into doors in anger. I had to get up and hold him. I wondered as I held him if he was a Starseed. Perhaps he is receiving the transmissions, too? Maybe that is why he is so clingy and possessive of me. He thinks he is going to lose me.

I tickled his tiny toes and snuggled up against him for the next 45 minutes as he drank his bottle and played with my hands, clasping and unclasping my finger. “There is nothing more wonderful than this”, I thought. “Perfection”.

A Sign

Later in the morning, after I had long given up on sleep, I saw something tiny on the floor. Curious, I picked it up. It was a teeny, tiny perfectly square piece of paper. On it was printed a triangle and inside it was the number 5. I thought about it being significant but then nearly threw it out, thinking I must be making it up. Yet I had the feeling it was significant in some way. So I snapped a picture of it and posted it to FB.

Not long after I posted it, I received input from a friend. She said the 5 could be for the 5th dimension but also that the symbol could be something called the Yahyel – the 5th hybrid race, each one represented by a triangle. She explained that it came from Bashar whose civilization is the 3rd hybrid race.

You can’t get anymore confirmation than that now can you? Wow.

Aborted OBE and Messages

Upon waking this morning yet again at a very early hour, I called out to my Team to please help me understand all that had been transpiring over the past few days.

This is what I was told:

  • There is currently a “transmission” being received. I am “processing” this transmission.

I actually received this message more than once. There was simply the word “transmission” followed by a visual of the Earth and space implying this transmission was in the form of energy. I connected it immediately to “Wave X”.

  • My role now is to wait and observe; to be patient and open to the changes coming.

I received this message via a song: All We Are by One Republic. Specifically this part of the song:

We won’t say our goodbyes
You know it’s better that way
We won’t break, we won’t die
It’s just a moment of change

Aborted OBE

This morning I asked to either astral project or lucid dream. I was granted the lucid dream option but kept gaining too much lucidity, ultimately exiting my body and being told, “No” and coming right back into it. The message was that I needed to observe what I was being shown while in the lucid dream.

While in the lucid state I was shown a letter written by me from when I was the age of 5. I read the letter aloud in the dream and was astonished by what it said. Though I cannot remember it word for word now, I recall the what it was about. I was recounting contact with my Team when I was 5 years old. In it I was explaining to the reader how this contact was made and how I was to not remember it until a later date.

I came out of this lucid experience quite suddenly from the shock of reading it. I immediately felt the memory of it fade, like it was not really me, yet I knew it was and that it had happened. The conclusion I drew was that I had been “contacted” at that time to prepare me for later periods of similar contact. I had a strange sensation with this memory that part of me rejected. I still do not remember the specifics of the letter but I know how it made me feel.

Empty Plate

As I continued to experience the lucid state I kept seeing a repeating picture of an empty plate. Sometimes it would have the remains of food on it such as chicken bones and pieces of salad. Other times it would be empty except for some crumbs. I came out of these lucid states remembering dreams that I had long forgotten from this week, dreams where I was walking around holding empty plates and not putting food back on them.

Shoes

I had a brief vision of a pair of small, white tennis shoes hung up on a hook. With it came the feeling of preparing to die. It shook me so much that I came back to full awareness questioning the vision. I received no answer except an urge from within to focus on my heart center, which I did automatically. I immediately experienced a wave of calm that radiated out from my core and I no longer cared about the vision I received.

Lost Memory

I had upon waking a memory of another conversation and written message. The memory was of seeing the planet Earth and discussing a technological tool that would help or hinder those who used it. In other words it could be a tool to help if used properly, or a tool of destruction if used improperly.

When I awoke I was mentally calling this tool by a name and I repeated it several times in an attempt to remember it. Unfortunately, all that remains now is a visual of this “tool” and the name and purpose of it is lost to me. I also recall being very excited about this tool and its potential to help mankind.

A Star Will Be Seen

I had a vision of a large and brilliantly white star in the sky. What was peculiar about the star was that it could be seen in broad daylight. Along with the vision I knew it marked the beginning of something. When I later asked if I was going to see it, I felt I would not. When I asked why, I was told it would be over Bermuda. I wonder if it has anything to do with the Bermuda triangle?

Starseed Origins

Finally, I am being asked to remember my Starseed origins and the experiences I had in May.

The specific memory I keep having from May is of an OBE in which I met my Council and a member of my group who had recently taken her life and prematurely left her incarnation. I had touched her face and said, “You are real. You feel real”, as if I was trying to convince myself that she was still very much real to me. Some hours after this OBE I was hit with the most anguish I have ever felt in this life. It felt like a part of me had been ripped out of me and I grieved heavily for about an hour. I was barely able to function. The grief was incapacitating.

As for my Starseed origins, I am receiving the memory of it and then questioning it, always returning to the knowing that it is Truth. Specifically, I keep returning to the fact that I have been in stasis. I Know this is fact and I wonder to myself, “How long have I been in stasis? I remember so many past lives on Earth. Have I been in stasis all this time? Did I get caught up in the reincarnation cycle and forget my true purpose here? Is that why I have so many lives?”

There is along with these memories of who I am a feeling that I am suppose to do something. It is not quite a nagging feeling, but more of a knowing feeling. It is as if a part of me is trying to come out but is waiting for the right time. And all the while I am writing this, I have a warmth spreading out from my heart chakra.

Drawing Conclusions

So much has happened in the last two days that I am not sure where to start. I intended to write yesterday but kept feeling the time was not right, plus I was too distracted by family goings-on.

My communication with my Team has been high this whole week but has increased in frequency in the last few days. What is different about these communications is that I feel them throughout my Being. It is like an intense feeling radiating from my core and its pretty much non-stop. I also receive an sense that I will be communicated with directly prior to each direct communication. It is like I am getting a heads up that it is coming. Sure enough, upon heading to bed the communications start, continue through the night and into the morning.

My morning “briefings” have resumed to my irritation. My sleep has been so interrupted that I rarely feel rested in the morning, so receiving messages at 5am is not my idea of fun. The messages are strange as well, some I lose almost as soon as I receive them. It is like I am not meant to remember them yet. Others I receive but they are quite strange such as the suggestion I read the Book of Revelation. Just yesterday morning I received the specific message to watch a documentary called The Age of Aquarius. I was told it would answer some of my questions yet I really did not have any specific questions at the time. Not surprising I found a documentary as soon as I Googled it, but there was more to the title than I was given.

I have also been reading Dolores Cannon’s book, The Convoluted Universe. I was not given instructions to read this book, I just felt drawn to it. While reading, I came across some information that caused my heart chakra to pull very suddenly and triggered an intense recognition within me. There is mention in the book about Light Beings whose specific task is to help evolve beings on Earth. This is what triggered my reaction/recognition:

Some [Light Beings] will remain as they are. Others will have the ability to enter many human bodies. One light being will have the ability to enter ten human bodies at one time. And lighten the human body itself, to a progression of thought and spiritual growth that to this point was an impossibility…..This will be a transition made very simply. All that is needed is a desire to grow. Not a walking-in, not a taking over, but a blending, a merging, an adding to, a combining. An element being added that enhances but does not diminish.

I actually had to put the book down and stop reading at this point. It was the next morning that it was suggested I watch the documentary mentioned above.

Conclusions

I have come to some conclusions which I want to share with you:

The information in the Bible came from the same Source as the information which is behind the “ascension” or “shift”. The “God” of the Bible is in fact a creation from communications with humans by otherworldly beings which was necessary for the understanding of the people of this time on Earth.

I first recognized this connection while reading Revelation because I noted that John’s experience/vision was in fact an OBE. I then made the connection of the seals with ascension.

The second time I made this connection was while reading The Convoluted Universe. There was a mention that throughout human history ETs have been visiting Earth trying to help it along. They made themselves known and were viewed as Gods. They passed on information to help mankind advance, eventually choosing less obvious methods of communication (dreams, visions, etc).

The third time I made this connection was while watching the video. Though it is biased toward Christianity, I tried to remain unbiased as I watched. It occurred to me that the New Age movement and Theosophy specifically rang true to me and was not the Anti-Christ as depicted in the film.

You can imagine the questions going through my mind as I began to draw conclusions and make connections. I had difficulty accepting that the God of the bible was simply the way man characterized the many communications they had with ETs. Yet I could not dismiss it. It felt right and I had to throw out my limiting beliefs of God, religion and all I was raised with. Once I did that it made sense to me why I was led down this particular path to understanding. My Team wanted me to see who they are, who I am, and how this applies to what is currently occurring on Earth.

I am still processing all of this as this is just a small sliver of what has come to me over the past few days. I will write more in another post.

Thoughts on Revelation

I read the book of Revelation a few days ago. This is what came to me while I was reading it.

Numbers Everywhere!

There are significant amounts of numbers presented in the book. Specifically the numbers 7, 12 (3), and 4.

Seven

There are not only 7 churches in the book, but also seven Spirits, seven golden candlesticks, seven stars, 7 horns, 7 eyes, 7 seals, 7 trumpets, etc (there is a lot of this number!). This stood out to me right away. Why the number 7? What is it’s significance? And most importantly, why did I just have a dream in which I was to take 7 tests, the first of which I was in the process?

My first thought it to find out what Numerology says about 7. My next thought was to look up in my blog how often this number appeared – it is a lot! I even wrote an entire post devoted to the number. What is even stranger is that the number appeared to me in the leaves of a tree once, perfectly outlined and obvious. Finally, though, the number corresponds to the number of chakras of the human body.

The number 7 is about seeking Truth and spiritual completion. I think it no coincidence that this number also corresponds to the number of chakras in the human body. The Kundalini energy that many are experiencing right now is specifically the “waking up” and alignment of these energy centers. The ultimate goal of which is ascension or the recognition of one’s Truth (wholeness and re-unification with the Higher Self).

Twelve or Three (1+2=3)

I noticed this number second the the number 7. It did not stand out to me or cause a spiritual pause like the 7 did. However, I did recognize it to correspond to my experiences with my Council. My Council has 12 members typically.

Twelve can also be simplified into 3 by adding together its individual digits. Three is more significant to me than 12 because it has also frequented my spiritual experiences (dreams, messages, etc). This is just one example of the number 3 as a message to me.

Twelve is a number of completion, of shedding the old skin and taking on the new. Three represents the physical, mental and emotional aspects of an individual. It is also known as the number representing the Father, Son and Holy Spirit.

Four

The number 4 stood out to me also, but I was especially interested int he four living creature mentions in chapter 4:

….and in the midst of the throne, and round about the throne, four living creatures full of eyes before and behind. 4:7And the first creature was like a lion, and the second creature like a calf, and the third creature had a face as of a man, and the fourth creature was like a flying eagle. 4:8and the four living creatures, having each one of them six wings, are full of eyes round about and within: and they have no rest day and night…..

I am unsure why this specific section stood out to me so much. I was/am still very interested in these four creatures for some reason. Any suggestions on why this is are welcomed.

For me, personally, the number 4 has been a pattern in my life. 4 years has been specifically the time it seems to take me to reach certain milestones in my life. Often, when I have asked my guides to tell when to expect something in my life, I am told 4 years.

Four represents stability, practicality, patience, trust, and faith. It represents Home. It is Heaven and Earth respectively.

The Seven Seals

There came to me an idea about these seals. The idea was that they correspond to the individual in that each person will unlock or open each of their own seven “seals” which in turn unlocks a corresponding aspect to be overcome. This, in itself, is the ascension process in its entirety.

I do not have this all figured out by any means, but when this idea came to me it came with such an “ah-ha” that I felt satisfied in its accuracy. Since I have yet to open all of my own “seals”, it is hard for me to identify with all seven of them. However, I can see how they align with my own experience thus far.

The first seal is merely the questioning of the old. This is the conqueror within us awakening to that which is false in the world. It is the catalyst for transformation and an essential part of the awakening process. One cannot awaken from sleep without first questioning reality. Once the question has been asked, there is no going back.

The second seal is the war within that results from the questioning. It is the dark night of the soul, it is the utter chaos that often results when one begins to take down the walls of belief they had around themselves. Questioning leads to uncomfortable truths and recognition of the reality one has been sleep walking through.

The third seal is finding balance. It is a long search and often painful one. It is a constant struggle and takes persistence and courage. We are our own judge and jury and ultimately we must recognize and take responsibility for both the good and the bad within ourselves. There is so much more to this part of the transformation, more than I have yet learned for myself.

The fourth seal is Death. It is death of the old. The killing off of the Ego. I find it significant that Revelations says 1/4 of world dies. When I have asked my Team about this first wave of ascension I have heard 1/4 of the world is a part of it. Coincidence? I doubt it.

The fifth seal speaks of rest for the faithful, or those who have already died. They must wait as they watch others go through what they did. I do not feel this has been a part of my journey yet, but it is something I am being taught to do as the Observer.

The sixth speaks of natural disaster, specifically a great earthquake, a blood moon, solar eclipse and meteors hitting the Earth (strangely all of these have recently happened). While these things may indeed occur physically, I recognized how these might correspond to physical body changes. I have felt what I can only describe as a physical body earthquake as my entire body shook, lightening-type bolts of energy, colors behind my eyes and periods of spiritual darkness. I am led to connect each of these events to my own physical manifestations of the Shift. It is interesting to me that when each of these (earthquakes, blood moons, eclipses, meteor showers) occurs, there is a huge wave of energy felt that seems to kick-start more manifestations and increase vibration.

The seventh seal speaks of even more natural disasters and more death. I am at a loss as to how this directly relates to my own transformation. However, a part of me thinks that the last two seals are for those who do not move into 4 and 5D (those left behind).

Visions and Knowingness Received

I had some strange information via knowingness and a vision while reading the Book of Revelations which I will mention briefly here.

  • I had knowing that someone of importance in the UK would be assassinated and that it would be a tipping point similar to the assassination of Franz Ferdinand was to the beginning of World War I. I at first thought it would be after Queen Elizabeth dies and that it would be whomever takes her place but then the thought of the Prime Minister popped into my head. So I don’t know which it will be as this was not clear.
  • I had a memory of an old vision of mine from 2003. I saw an area near Fort Hood in Texas completely demolished – flattened. The entire military base and surrounding cities were obliterated. The vision was so real, I was knocked to my knees and started crying. No one can forget that. This vision resurfaced in my memory as I was reading Revelations.
  • I had a sudden vision of the west coast of the US. As it unfolded, it zoomed into the state of Washington and then the word, “Vancouver” popped into my head. With that came the idea that if my family decides to move (which we have been discussing) we should move to Vancouver. There came a sudden intrigue with the idea and a total acceptance followed. I suddenly wanted very badly to visit the mountains there and I wanted my children to grow up surrounded in that beauty. There was also a feeling that it would be “safe” there because it was not in the U.S. Eeek!

Symptoms of Adjustment

I believe the “bone aches” or “body aches” have begun along with some other strange sensations and symptoms.

Throat Movement

Last night when meditating prior to sleep, I felt a new strange sensation. It felt like something was moving around underneath my skin. Like a ball of energy or a knot of something dense. It rolled around and I kept getting images in my mind of a tiny creature trapped under my skin trying to get out. It occurred at the site of my throat chakra and covered the entire area from my collarbone to my chin.

As soon as I noticed it, I got the heebie-jeebies (that’s what I call them). Basically I cringed. I wanted to move but I had a feeling I needed to focus on the feeling and allow it to run its course. I swallowed and felt no change. My body in that small area was literally moving!

Thankfully, it lasted no more than a few minutes. Had it lasted longer that I would have assumed I was dreaming an episode of Fringe. This is by far the most bizarre of all the manifestations yet!

Body Shaking

As the strange throat movement began to subside, I could feel my physical body literally shaking. It was subtle but enough for me to notice. I thought it strange but remembered I had felt it before, though not as intense. The sensation was similar to being in some kind of car that was idling really, really rough.

Ear Ringing

As I was becoming accustomed to the shaking (it really wasn’t scary, just weird), both of my ears began to ring. It was such a high pitch that I almost didn’t notice it except that it felt like there was pressure building in my ears similar to what one feels when going up in an airplane or deep under water. As soon as I noticed it, it diminished considerably. I believe it was because I sent out a thought saying, “Really? Can I go to sleep now?”

Strange Body Ache

As I tried to get comfortable and sleep, I found it near impossible to stay in one place. When I lay on my back, I had this itch to move along with a very uncomfortable feeling in the right side of my body. It was almost like I had restless leg syndrome just in my entire side.

When I lay on either side it was the same. The only time it seemed bearable was when I lay on my stomach.

Ache is not exactly the right word but it works in this instance. The feeling reminded me of trapped energy that made this area of my body feel achy if I didn’t move it. One time when I made myself stay still, the feeling intensified and then seemed to spread out and then diminish. I think this is why I was finally able to sleep.

Time Hiccup

At one point I “awoke” needing to use the restroom. I looked at the clock and it said 10:35pm. “That can’t be”, I thought. I swear it had been hours and hours. Yet I could not recall even falling asleep! In fact, I don’t know where the heck I had been in that hour since I fell asleep. Wait. Did I even fall asleep? I don’t think so. WTF?

There was a strange feeling accompanying this time hiccup. A feeling that I had been somewhere and done something. Amnesia? That is what it felt like. I knew something had happened but I had only blank space where it should have been in my mind.

The only other time this has happened to me was in 1989.

Interrupted Sleep

I awoke so many times last night, I have lost count. Every time I woke up it felt like I had not even slept. Yet the clock showed it had been a couple of hours since my last waking. I again could not remember what I had been doing in that span of time. I knew I had been asleep, though. At least it wasn’t total amnesia!

Memories

Throughout the day yesterday I had random memories surface from this life. Most of them were memories from this lifetimes. Memories associated with pain and upset, all of which I have inspected many, many times. This, I believe, is part of the purging.

  • Memory of when my best friend in high school began acting strangely and disassociating from me. Specifically when she refused to acknowledge me at lunch and sat with a group two levels below us. I sensed she was doing this purposefully and chose to sit alone. This happened for many weeks at the end of Senior year. At the time I was not “hurt” but went to a “safe place” in my mind, convincing myself that I was happy to be alone. Compartmentalization.
  • Memory of my first year in college during registration. My best friend and I had decided to go to the same college. When I saw her there she pretended she didn’t know me and brushed me off.
  • Memory of what it felt like to be married to my ex. It felt alien – like another person was in my body living that life. Yet I could feel what I felt like then. I felt lost and incomplete. So weird!
  • Recognition that I “removed” myself from emotionally intense situations. I did this by denying there was emotion or even a problem.

Little emotion accompanied these memories. Even when I tried to make the emotion come (such as with the first memory), I could not. I asked specifically to be allowed to view the first memory and what led up to it so I could view other viewpoints and see how others perceived me at that time. I have yet to be shown this (that I know of).

Messages

I asked this morning to project and knew that I couldn’t. The reason why was, “You are adjusting”. I asked how long this would take and was told, “One day”. I didn’t believe it.

I kept seeing notes written to me in my in-between states as I was dozing this morning. I also received messages about my progress: 2 of 5 (2/5), 3 of 5 (3/5) and 2 of 10 (2/10). Not sure what these signify.

I asked if the next activation was coming and was told yes. I asked if it would affect me and was told yes. It is to occur in October.