Spiritual Retreat and OBEs

I recently went on a three day personal retreat to a nearby lake where I got some much needed me time. My package included a private room overlooking the lake, all meals, and two massage sessions.

My favorite part of the retreat was my morning yoga on the lake. It was so peaceful and relaxing.

The retreat property had trails that led to a place called Medicine Rock. It was blessed by a Native American Medicine Woman.

I even did some fishing while I was there. Sadly, the rod and reel I borrowed from my FIL must have been old and the string brittle. I caught a good sized black bass after my third cast but as I pulled it up onto shore the line snapped and it flopped back into the water. Later, when I cast, part of the reel flew off into the lake. LOL No more fishing for me, I guess.

It was fun. I hadn’t caught a bass in a long time and had forgotten just how hard they strike. I think my heart was pounding for 10 minutes after. The fish were so active I could see them chasing my lure to the shore sometimes. So, really bummed that I had to quit so soon. Super fun, though! Gotta do that again soon.

On the day I departed (same day as the fish that got away incident), I was blessed by a butterfly encounter. Twice. One before I went fishing and again while I was fishing. I took some photos and a video of one in particular. It was a large Tiger Swallowtail, about the size of my hand. He was nice enough to let me take several photos and a video. At the end of the video he actually flew into my phone camera and in my face. I could feel the wind from his beating wings. So beautiful!


Tiger Swallowtail on Texas Mountain Laurel blooms.



I had an OBE the morning I departed for my retreat. It was short and I only recall leaving my body and then being pulled back in quickly after. Then this morning I had a string of OBEs one after the other. There were so many I forgot most of them.

The first one began as a lucid dream. I remember walking into a store and seeing cars lined up outside, one was a VW van. I went inside and stood in line and soon realized I was butt naked. I got into the elevator to go to another floor to find clothing. I went to the 6th floor and inside I tripped an alarm and so got back into the elevator and selected the 5th floor but there were only two floors to choose from – 5 & 6. Eventually I looked up and saw a meeting taking place behind a pane of glass. I recognized the people inside and could hear them talking. There were adults and children and the light was bright and warm. They encouraged me to come to the meeting and told me how, instructing me to “leave it (my body)” and “come through”. So I went OOB and crossed into and through the pane of glass. On the other side it was dark, not light, and no one was around. I called for them but no one answered. It was like I went into a lower vibratory field and not the one I had seen. I felt an energy reach for me as I pulled back into my body. The vibrations were high and I immediately went back OOB.

The most memorable were the last OBEs when I decided to stop trying to control them and allowed myself to follow where they led. I saw a picture and went into it and found myself flying above a beautiful city on islands of land with trees that connected the islands with their branches. Water was beneath the cities but far below and I soon realized the islands were floating hundreds of feet above the water. I remember recognizing the place, knowing it’s name (can’t remember now) and thinking, “I’m home!” I began to sing loudly a song from The Sound of Music – “Doe a deer a female deer….”.  I flew all over as I sang but kept singing one line wrong – the Fa line. I would sing, “Mi a name I call myself, Sol a long long way to run…” lol I knew I was singing it wrong while OOB but didn’t care.

I came back to my body briefly and then went outside a “window” to a red cable that linked trees and began to balance on the cable as I sang. This time I was singing a song about my life and how grand it was, how important it was to be patient and accept the concept of time while in this body and the importance of being joyful. The words were coming from a space deep inside me and flowing out of my mouth without me having to think of them first. Every word brought me pure joy. I was filled with acceptance and a warmth that is indescribable. I could feel just how tiny my human aspect is compared to the Whole that I AM.

I flew/balanced along the cable as I sang and noticed how the trees were a living network comparable to our telephone lines, linking the cities. Their branches stretched out and twisted far across the water. Soon I was walking along them as if they were roads to other worlds. At one point I flew up high over the island city below but never made it down to explore it. It was as if it were off-limits. I was pulled back to my body by my husband saying, “I made you a Greek omelet for breakfast.” LOL


Hints of Something to Come

After a little over 24 hours of feeling like I was finally getting over my cold and intestinal problems, I was hit in the middle of the night with a resurgence of intestinal issues. They continue with less severity this morning as I hack and cough up the last remnants of the cold I had.

On top of it all my acne seems to be returning. Same spots, same weird, tiny bumps that don’t go away. I realized this morning that the acne spots first started after I moved to this house/location and I have been sick much more frequently than any other time in my life. Makes me wonder if there is something here, something in the water or the house itself (physical, emotional, spiritual) that is triggering these physical reactions in me. It is, by the way, a #11 address. hmmmm

Hints of Something to Come

I had some odd occurrences yesterday that I should mention before I go into my dream last night.

First off, two days ago while running errands I once again had one of those near-panic attacks, well more than one. This time, however, I recognized something – well some things. The panic attack episodes started after the heart connection in 2015 and escalated to the point of making me feel almost incapable of going out of the house. When I have them it is as if a switch is flipped and I become overly aware of my surroundings, like waaaay too open and overstimulated. It seems like part of me arrives or awakens in this body unexpectedly. I feel her arrive. Then I hear/feel that part of myself begin to worry and panic similar to waking up in a bad dream and not knowing how she got there. At the same time a calming energy seems to descend and I hear/feel myself being consoled and reminded it will pass. Then the anxiety passes and I return to a normal feeling as that other part seems to leave. It is so weird! But now it happens so frequently that I am use to it and even though the anxiety still comes on it never lasts or sets in fully. I never know when it will happen, just that it will happen when not inside my home.

I wonder, who is it that is panicking? Is it even me like I assume? Or someone else or some other aspect? Is this part of the soul exchange process somehow?

Then, two nights ago as I was watching Netflix (Shannara Chronicles this time) out of the blue I could feel the feelings of my Companion wash over me. I could feel his love and admiration for me and began to giggle out loud as I was embraced by his energy. As energy spread over me, I looked down at my body and felt an overwhelming attraction to myself, as if I were in love with my body, with everything that I AM. There came with this a sense of playfulness and joy. I felt like a child in a sense but also extremely attracted to myself in a sexual and romantic way. The playfulness was the strongest and I ignored my show, closing my eyes and surrendering to the feeling. My whole body was tingling and blissed-out and remained that way for some time.

The overwhelming attraction and love for myself was so unusual for me and I thought to my Companion, “I am feeling what you feel for me.” He said to me, “I am YOU.” In hearing him say this I knew he was right and what I was feeling were my true feelings for myself and all that I AM. I can’t explain it any other way because, as is the norm, words just aren’t enough. I felt for myself a twin flame/heart connection kind of magnetic attraction and did not reject it but fully surrendered and accepted it. There is nothing in this physical world more beautiful and …… I AM.

I managed to fall asleep with few dreams. The dreams I did have are similar to the one below, indicating an internal separation in process. It is hard to explain but I actually built a fence between myself and my “sister” in one dream and in another I was taking care of baby peacocks (birth, new growth), keeping them from being eaten by cats. In another I was with my “crazy” sister. I spent a long time consoling her. She felt everyone was abandoning her, she was all alone, unloved and had no friends. She was highly self-destructive and deteriorating quickly.

Image result for congratulations text pic

When I woke there was no lingering in the in-between. I was wide awake and thinking of my dreams. There was a peculiar feeling I couldn’t identify. Out of the blue and barely noticeable there came a vision in front of my eyes. A very small word outlined in a glowing white box: Congratulations. This caught me off guard because I was not in the in-between. I wondered, “Congratulations for what?” I heard back, “You have surpassed hurdles unseen.” Not able to identify these “hurdles” I went back to thinking of my dreams. Then I heard, “We have something to show you.” I thought, “Okay” and then went back to thinking of my dreams. lol

Another vision came to me then. I saw a pile of stuffed toys, all of which were action heroes – superman, batman, spiderman, etc. It was odd and I wondered about it. Then the Coldplay song came to mind, “I’m not looking for somebody with some superhuman gifts…..I want something just like this.” I laughed aloud at this but recognized my subconscious created it. It wasn’t a message from some “guide” but from ME.

Again, though, I heard a message, almost indistinguishable, come through like a conversation I was having. I heard, “Tomorrow” and then after a couple of minutes, “Some of the benefits and securities will be refined.” Considering how odd the message was, I figured it was time to get up and face the day.


Dream: Get Out!

This dream began with me being in a hurry to get somewhere but not really worrying about being late. I kept telling myself, “No need to rush. You’ll get there when you get there” which is how I have been handling lateness in my waking life for sometime now.

I went into the bathroom and prepared to take a shower. What is odd here is that I had with me all my personal toiletries in a bag despite there being an entire set already in the bathroom. Both sets felt like mine but when I saw the set in the bathroom I dismissed it knowing my set was better suited to me. I took my shampoo (new image/self) and toiletries and replaced the other toiletries (old image/self) one by one.

I vaguely remember taking a shower (spiritual renewal and forgiveness) and feeling each distinct stream of water hit my face and body. It was a refreshing, calming feeling – a familiar feeling. In the background I could hear voices speaking to me like distant memories or echoes. They were asking me questions in a disapproving tone and judging me for my actions and decisions. It felt like these people were my physical family – mother and husband specifically. I ignored the voices, though, and focused on the warmth and comfort of the water.

Then I was inside a house selecting clothing (public self) to wear. The entire time my mother (mother aspect) seemed to be shadowing me, asking me questions and judging my actions in a passive-aggressive way. She kept suggesting this or that but never directly saying she disapproved. The main thing I remember her saying is that I would be late if I didn’t hurry. Again, I ignored her, focusing instead on the clothing I would wear. I couldn’t find what I needed, though.

I left the house I was in and headed to an apartment. The apartment was very nice (life improvement), nicer than any apartment I have ever lived in. Two bodyguard-looking men (feeling insecure or unsure about life) met me there. They wore all black and had ear pieces in. One handed me a cell phone and said, “Looks like he’s following through.” I read what was on the screen and said, “Yeah.” The screen had a legal letter and I remember it said “petition” and “claimant” on it and that my husband was accusing me of being “homosexual” (self-love, self-acceptance) as a reason for divorce. There was a feeling of finality here as well as Knowing of what was to come. The sense was of my entire life crashing down on me but I was in total acceptance.

The bodyguards also mentioned to me that I was behind on my assignments. I acknowledged them and then rushed to the closet to look for a shirt. My mother intercepted me though and began to make ultimatums to get my attention. Her main upset was that I was behind on my assignments and would ultimately “fail”. She told me she couldn’t accept my behavior anymore and insisted that it was time for me to “get out”.

I went into a huge walk-in (may indicate soul exchange) closet (unveiling of previously hidden aspects). I looked through the clothes but couldn’t find what I was looking for. There were many long, sleeveless dresses (feminine), some dress shirts and a bunch of trousers. The shirt I had put on was long-sleeved (protection from adversaries) and too hot (heated emotions) but all the clothes in the closet were also too warm for the weather. Eventually I opted for a wrinkled (wisdom, learning from past), indigo (spirituality), short-sleeved (freedom) blouse noting that it was too dressy for the pants I was wearing. I put it on not caring how I appeared and left.

On my way out I heard my mom yell angrily, “Get out and don’t ever come back.” I knew she meant what she said but felt I had to do what I was doing regardless of what she thought. There was a Knowing I didn’t belong there anyway.

Then I received notice from my teacher that I was failing her math class (lessons in logic), the last class before I received my degree. The class end date was in 4 weeks but on the calendar in my mind I saw the month of July which is much further off than 4 weeks. I was told that I would have to score a 103 on the final to pass the class. I knew this was impossible. The most I could possibly score was a 98 and even that was unlikely. I remember sitting at a picnic table (unity and togetherness) in a park (period of readjustment after serious personal conflict) telling a man that it was okay if I didn’t get my degree. I already had a Master’s degree and so another one wouldn’t make much of a difference. The man said to me, “But you are only one class away from finishing. If you stop now you will have to start all over again.” I didn’t care.


I woke up in an alarmed state thinking, “Oh shit.” It seemed like the dream was about going over choices/decisions and the aftermath that would result. I was so self-assured in the dream, easily ignoring all the “voices” of disapproval and judgment. The decisions I made in the dream involved very out of character things for my personality. It felt like a complete disconnect from the important people in my life. The disapproval of my mom was the main “voice” of disapproval I heard though other family members (sisters mostly) were audible as well. If my mom were to issue an ultimatum like that it would devastate me – or would it? Even as I type this I am feel able to accept her doing something like that. Huh?

After waking and while getting my kids off to school, I was wondering, “Okay. It’s tomorrow but nothing happened.” Not long after that I realized a song was going through my mind over and over, “I gotta feeling, that tonight’s gonna be a good night. Tonight’s gonna be a good, good night…..” 🙂 I’ve been feeling like dancing all morning. lol




Recovery Needed

The purging continues. It feels like the moon has been full all month! Waving my white flag over here.

Yesterday I was led to read some older posts in this blog, some from last Fall, some from this month. It occurred to me that this particular purging cycle was pointed out to me in September last year. I mention “Capricorn” both in a lucid dream and toward the end of the post.

…..when I awoke I recalled seeing stars in the sky, as if being shown astrology and the time of the year when Capricorn rules. I also recall saying something in astrological terminology to the man. The term I used was “aspect” but I can’t make sense of what I said. All I recall is that I said some aspect would affect me and it is related to Capricorn.

Then there was the goat reference brought up recently which has been following me around since 2013. I had been looking at my Twitter analytics, checking out my top posts, and was focusing primarily on those posts. I found a recent OBE where I assumed a goat was running toward me but it was two dogs. These reference go all the way back to last summer. Love how my dreams reveal future events, I just wish I was able to recognize all the message at the time they are given. So frustrating! But then, even if I knew, would I be able to do anything about it? No.

So goats, Capricorn, hmmm maybe there is a connection? The experiences in the post I quoted above was intense. I appeared to be planning my own physical death. What is interesting is that yesterday, when I re-read it I had been thinking of all the recent physical issues I’ve been having and thought to myself, “Maybe this is it? Maybe I am dying?” It sure felt like it.

Dream: Blankets

I don’t remember many of my dreams but the last is vivid in my mind. The dream began with me being oriented to a new job. It was in an education setting but I was not a teacher. I seemed to be assisting with various tasks, things I didn’t want to do. The lady I was assisting gave tests to children. They were simple tests where the child looked at card and gave the name of what was on it. The cards had pictures of various vegetables on them, specifically zucchini squash. I saw the results of some of the students’ tests. One in particular had a very low score while another had a very high one.

My job was to prepare the cards. I walked toward an area of the office with a huge Rolodex full of cards inserted in plastic sleeves. Somehow the Rolodex hit a cabinet and the cards scattered all over the floor. I got upset and overwhelmed and so just left the mess for someone else to clean up. I didn’t get in trouble for doing this.

While working at my desk I saw my file along with some others in manila folders. I noticed that it had my previous job title written next to my name. It said, “Secretary”. I knew my current position was not secretary (need to ask for help) and that when I was rehired I had to take a lower position. It wasn’t a punishment just a condition of my employment.

Then I was as if a blank screen came down on the current scene and when it was lifted I was elsewhere. This time I was in a living area with family. It felt safe and comfortable. The lights were off except for the television screen which was about to play a movie. My ex-BIL was there visiting. I sat on the sofa bed but then had to move to avoid the blanket (security, love, protection, warmth) he was about to put on it. I mentioned the blanket and he said he always brought a blanket so that he would be more comfortable wherever he stayed. I remember feeling so much love for him. A beautiful feeling of safety, warmth and love spread over me as if I were snuggled in the blankets he had laid on the sofa. Memories of when he was in my life, married to my sister, and all the good times we had together came flooding into my mind. He was always so pleasant and accommodating. Never once complaining of my presence or making me feel unwanted in their house. He was/is a good man.

There were thoughts then about how I missed him and those times in my life. I began to grieve and tears poured out of my eyes. I remember feeling an abundance of feelings and having two different sets of thoughts. One grieved for the past another was grieving for the loss of my security blanket – the love, friendship, safety and Divine connection of Home.


When I woke up I was still crying. The only reason I stopped crying was because my nose was so stuffed up I couldn’t breathe. There were two distinctly separate feelings of loss. As I consider the feelings, which are still very real to me, my mind is blown. It is so clear to me what I experienced/witnessed that I am not sure if I should be happy and relieved or freaked out.

While laying there considering my dream experience and the grief I felt, my guidance was nearby. I shifted in and out of the in-between as we talked. Much of our conversation is lost to me now which saddens me because I had some really cool messages/realizations during that time. One I only half remember. In it I was placing a stamp on a letter to mail and said aloud, “This is my last stamp”. Then I recognized what the stamp represented and told my guide. I was like a child in class who just understood the lesson and proudly states their understanding to their teacher. I said, “I created that visual and the stamp represents _________! I did it!” My guide said back, “Yes you did. Very well done.” lol

I remember asking my guidance for help. The tears, the intense dreamtime work and my life feeling so very wrong lately is starting to get to me. Everything feels so absolutely wrong!

The number 54 was another vision I received. You can read what it means. I don’t have the energy to write it out right now.

Recovery Needed

The physical symptoms are beginning to take their toll. I weighed 128lbs when the sickness began and this morning weighed 124lbs . I look like a skinny, sickly, bony anorexic! The intestinal issues are better but still there. It is like my body can’t tolerate anything I eat, no matter how healthy or wholesome. I don’t know what to do except stop eating most every food I have been eating. But I have to eat something!

This morning I thought, “There needs to be a place where people like me can go to recover. Like maybe an ascension recovery center or a Kundalini recovery center….. Just a spiritual recovery center.” In my mind I was thinking of what it would be like – a place where someone could go to heal and process for as long as it took. There would be no expectations, no specific schedules, just a quiet, safe place with provided meals, individual rooms and tons of nature and space. Like a retreat but specifically focused on those struggling with what I am…whatever that is. There would be support given, but what kind I am unsure.

I asked my guidance for insight, whatever they could give. My guidance said, “Acceleration” which I understood as, “Your path is accelerating.” I was like, “Huh? WTF! Why!?” The response was that I had agreed to it. Ugh! I would do that, wouldn’t I!

I couldn’t go back to sleep. It was 5am and I was wide awake. This is day…IDK but it’s been going on a while. I hate morning “briefings”. I want to sleep!

As I lay there I began to think about the spiritual recovery center I feel I need right now. Long ago, during my first awakening, I had a business concept, a plan, that never came to fruition. The name of the business was, “Azna Spiritual Salon”. The concept was a place where all spiritual services were accessible, like a beauty salon but catering to spiritual needs. “Azna” means “Balance” but I can’t remember in what language now. I will have to go look through my journals from that time period.

This morning I was thinking, “I could create a spiritual recovery center focused on what I am going through right now. There will be more going through this and they will need a place to go to recover. Somewhere safe and quiet.” But my thoughts went to, “What am I going through exactly? And how the hell can I help others if I can’t help myself? I don’t have any idea what to do to fix myself! Until I do, I can’t help anyone else.”

I received information recently (when I can’t recall) that soon, in the near future, there would be a big wave of people going through what I am. They will need help. It feels like part of my job is to determine what that help looks like. To create a program for recovery. Hahaha It seems so absurd to me because if I knew how to help I would be helping myself right now.

What I do know is that I need to find a place to recover. Whatever is happening to me requires this. So if you know anyone who is willing to take me in for a month or so, someone who lives in the country or near lots of natural beauty, I would love to find a place I can retreat to and get myself sorted out. I know I need to just be for a while, and not just a day or two. I need a long while. So wherever I go, whomever helps me, needs to understand that I won’t be able to help out other than to to pay for my food and lodging. The energy must be high and the people high energy as well – empathic like me and understanding.

I laugh aloud to think any place like this even exists. I am not a rich person, in fact I have little money of my own, so not sure how I will repay someone for their hospitality. I will just leave it to the Universe to sort out I guess.

This song was repeating through my mind again, specifically, “Don’t know what I’m gonna do about this feeling inside. Yes it’s true – loneliness took me for a ride….”






Message: There’s No Wrong Way to Dumb

Well, I’m still sick but making progress….some. My throat is hurting still, the glands on my neck are huge and sore and my nose is stuffy and runny at the same time. Thankfully, my intestinal problems are resolving. It is unlikely that this is all from one virus and more likely I got two, one right after (and on top of) the other – stomach bug and head cold. Yay for me. Looking on the bright side, I don’t have the flu, strep, a sinus infection or whatever else is going around right now.  Also, the way I feel has not really had an impact on my normal going’s on. I do what I normally do but I just do it feeling crappy. Well, everything but working out and running. None of that going on.

Last night I finally slept well. I had to use nasal spray to breathe but sometimes you gotta do what ya’ gotta do. Seems like my guidance took advantage of my restful sleep to give me a talking to this morning, though. Sigh. I just can’t get a break can I?

Dream: Completing Assignment

The dream began inside my grandparent’s underground house. Inside it was much larger than in real life, the walls and ceilings golden in color with shiny, white floors. It felt very clean and sanitary.

I was reminded that I had an assignment due. Not sure if the information came from outside of me or was my own Knowing. I knew I had just come off a 1.5 week break and the assignment subject was math.

I got out a folder and book and set about doing two pages worth of decimal problems despite knowing it was not the homework I was assigned. I couldn’t find that. At some point, though, the work I was suppose to do was shown to me by a woman wearing athletic clothing. The assignment looked like lists of descriptions on how to do certain exercises, but no exercises I have ever seen. The images with the description were of facial expressions and hand signals, like sign language. They were done in a certain order over and over again in a ceremonial way.

This “teacher” was then teaching a class in the middle of what should have been my grandmother’s kitchen. There were other students and yoga mats on the floor in front of each of us. The teacher began to instruct us on exercises that involved the whole body. My interpretation of these exercises in the dream was that we were doing lunges and squats, but my memory of what I was seeing indicates it was definitely not lunges and squats.

The first set was of a lunge-type movement forward. We did 12 repetitions at our own pace. Then the teacher asked us to do another movement. This one was a bending over at the waist and stopping parallel to the floor and then somehow moving to the floor into a cobra-like position and ending with hands pressed together at the chest. Though it might sound like yoga it wasn’t. It was something completely different but my memory is limited so I cannot tell you how it is different.

The rest of the students finished before I did. I remember the teacher asking me if I knew how many I was to do of the last exercise. I told her, “24 total, 12 of this one.” She then spoke to me for a while about why I was late with my assignments. I told her I forgot what I was suppose to do. She was very nice to me but abrupt. I felt to be the “difficult student” based on the way our interactions felt.

At this point I began to wake up but shifting in and out of the in-between. This makes it hard to decipher where I was consciously from one moment to the next.

Discussion and Messages

I remember having a long conversation about what I needed to do about my life. My physical body issues were discussed – this current illness, my heart palpitations, and skin problems. I Know these issues are a result of imbalance and also from my body struggling to rewire itself energetically. It is still very clear to me that the old, inefficient channels the energy follows are deep from overuse and habit. Similar to how a river digs into the Earth over centuries of flow, prana is forced to flow in a certain way when it is disrupted by blockages. It must be slowly shifted to the correct path via a clearing of the blockages and divergence to the correct meridians. One can’t just correct the blockage and expect the whole energy system to be corrected. One must change one’s actions/habits so that the new paths/meridians override the old ones. This is rewiring in a nutshell but it didn’t make a whole lot of sense to me until recently.

Effectually, my physical body is only doing what it has always done. It doesn’t know any better. I have to teach it through my thoughts and actions how to function properly. We are a cooperative unit. So often we forget that. I forgot that.

This doesn’t mean I need to sit for hours in contemplative meditation, picturing the correct paths so my body will learn to rewire itself. This is a passive way of doing things and much more time consuming one. As the Soul/Spirit it is my duty to teach the body how to be efficient; my role to pilot and maintain it. My body is just an innocent bystander, really. I have mistreated it, unknowingly, by not maintaining it properly. My thoughts have shifted the energetic pathways to the point that breakdown is inevitable. The body-mind connection is extremely strong and my thoughts have been like diesel to an engine that only runs on unleaded.

So you can guess that my guidance is a bit irritated at me for doing nothing. They are not nasty or mean but do push. That’s what they did this morning.

The main visual I recall during the my talk with my guidance this morning was of a person walking around blindfolded but not running into anything. They had traveled the same path so many times they didn’t need to see where they were going anyway. Yet their path was the same one, over and over. They never went anywhere new, never saw anything new, never experienced anything new.

I remember being asked if I was happy. I remember talking about what would make me happy. And then I remember being told how I could get what I wanted. I gave many reasons why I couldn’t do this or that. I looked ahead and saw mistakes and dead ends and felt it wasn’t worth it to try.

I think I must have made this particular guide frustrated because I heard back, “There’s no wrong way to dumb.”

It felt like an insult at first but I never felt insulted. I just thought, “I need to remember that.” So I have remembered it. It doesn’t make much sense to me, though. Were they saying I am “dumb”?

Inevitably there was discussion about a specific path and lesson. I remember seeing a vision of me and a man in each other’s arms. Then there was a comment, “You ate too much cake.” The visual shifted and we were covered in icing. LOL I actually laughed at the symbolism of it and said, “Yeah, I sure did.” Hahahaha

The discussion went on for at least an hour. Me in and out of the in-between receiving guidance and visuals like the ones above. I wish I had written down some of what I was told because some of it was really good (and funny).

Ultimately, I was being told that if I continued to do things the way I always have then I would continue to get what I’ve always gotten. “The definition of insanity is doing the same thing over and over again, but expecting different results.”

As I woke a song/rhyme was going through my mind: Mama called the doctor and the doctor said, “No more monkeys jumping on the bed.” lol

Just for laughs:

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OMG I’m rolling over here!! LMAO






Dream: Double Dragon

I couldn’t sleep last night for a sore throat and severely watery eyes. Even sucking on a cough drop didn’t help. It was 2am before I fell asleep and I woke at 6am. 😦

Dream: Double Dragon

In this dream I recall being outside in the country walking along and then looking up in the sky to see two dragons (fiery personality, highly spiritual, good fortune). They seemed to be one but then not one, like flying so close they were one. I kept myself hidden under bushes, trees and such as I made my way through the country. I recall seeing the dragons several times. I wanted to stay hidden from them just in case they might eat me.

I encountered a crystal clear stream (profound understanding, emotion) running very swiftly downhill. It didn’t run through rocks or earth, though, but through a culvert or canal that shimmered with gold (spiritual reward) and crystal (unity with Higher Self) leafing. It went underground and I stepped into the shallow water and walked against the current up toward a small waterfall (letting go) that flowed out of an unknown source. Though it was underground it was very light and open inside with windows looking up and out onto the road the stream ran under.

Feet wet I crawled up a wall. Still on the lookout for the dragon I saw them in the distance to my left. So I grabbed onto little outcroppings in the wall of a building and crawled through a window. The building now reminds me of a castle (recognition for accomplishments).

Inside it was pristine, like a very fancy hotel (shift in personality). The windows opened up onto a veranda upon which I found myself. I walked through the glass doors and into the suite. I knew I had stayed there before. It was for couples and I remembered being with a partner though who that was specifically I do not recall.

I realized right away that the place had been locked up for the season. Everything was set up for the future guests – little welcome chocolates with note cards, flowers and fluffed pillows. It was very beautiful and a place I would love to stay at.

For some reason I became suspicious about the place being closed. It was too early in the season and so I investigated and soon found a young man laying on a sofa. I was with a woman and we discussed how it could have come to be that the place was closed down. She suggested the heir mismanaged the money and we went through photos of people from long ago.

The man on the sofa stirred. We suspected he was the heir and when he woke we confronted him about a murder (putting an end to something), though at the time there was no evidence of one. As we mentioned “murder” though there was a knife (aggression, need to be decisive) in his hand and it was found that he had stabbed (sexual domination) himself in an attempt to make it look like he was attacked. I remember there was blood (disappointment) all over his chest and we discussed how he could have stabbed himself in the heart and not died.

Changes of Note

When I woke this morning the dragons in the dream were vivid in my memory and made me think of Chinese astrology. I am a Dragon, specifically a Fire Dragon. My husband is also a Dragon. Whether that is significant or not, I don’t know, but it was on my mind upon waking.

It was curious to me that the dragons in my dream appeared as one. To me that seems to indicate a union of two aspects, likely masculine and feminine. The hotel I visited was one I had been to before, in my astral memories, and I had been with my partner. It seems to fit with the two dragons and the other dream symbols suggest my dream is about success in regards to some aspect of union.

In a conversation with my husband last night he brought to my attention positive changes he has seen in me. At first I didn’t know what he was talking about but later agreed with him. Mostly, the changes in me are that I am lighter, less prone to fixating on the negative, and less resistant. I have lost interest in fighting with my husband over any subject. It is just not worth my time or energy. I choose to focus on the things that lift me up and make me feel positive. This is a conscious decision I make over and over, day after day. If I find myself angry, upset, or fixating on something, then I make a conscious choice to let it go however I need to so that I feel relief.

I have completely let go of certain things that were weighing me down. As a result my mind is quieter and I am much more at peace with my life. That which use to bring me grief and heartache (heartsickness) no longer evokes those feelings but instead leaves me feeling calm and accepting. I recognize that the source of the connection, the Divine love and friendship that once caused me to feel like an insane drug addict (lol), is ME. I am the calm, the peace, the love, the friendship, the joy that I am seeking. It just isn’t as I assumed it would be. I kept thinking it was something I had to rise to, to obtain somehow through hard work and struggle. Slowly I am finding that access is granted via allowing, acceptance, patience, and nurturing of Self. It comes with ease and grace…..and I am slowly beginning to understand how to unlock mySelf from within…if that even makes sense. lol

Ultimately it all comes down to choosing in every moment what I want to experience; making a conscious CHOICE to flow with my life rather than against it. It isn’t as hard as it looks. The only time I really struggle (somewhat) is when I come up against something that triggers me in a negative way. It can be absolutely excruciating to let that go and allow things to flow as they are meant to. Giving others….ALLOWING others to have something at what my Ego thinks is my expense is not only difficult but sometimes scary as hell! It’s the giving up of my control….but no it isn’t. That’s a lie. It is better said that I trust that all will work out for everyone involved no matter how much my Ego interprets the present situation as being a threat to it. This trust involves knowing that no matter the outcome I CAN handle it and will never be given anything I cannot bear.

Someone once tried to explain the above to me and I just didn’t get it. I do now I think. Words just don’t explain it, though. You can say, “Live from the heart” but really it doesn’t mean anything until you have taken your own personal route to the heart and find yourself in it and finally understanding.




Returning to the Tried and True

A decision has been made. Perhaps this is the “transformation” that has been awaiting me, perhaps not. If it is, then it is definitely not what I expected, but then that is what I expected, if that makes any sense.

The decision is that I am steering away from my present path and shifting back to the path I was following prior to the summer of 2014. With this decision comes many endings. I’m ending posts in this blog and my companion blog – A Walk-In Life. I am diverting my attention from my FB pages associated with these two blogs as well. My Dayna Stone FB will remain active but I plan to associate more with my other FB page which is under my legal name. I am going to revert back to posting in my Blogger blog, Living Life In-Between, since it was the blog associated with my previous path.

If you did not follow my previous blog then you may not understand what my “previous path” was. I will not go into detail here except to say you should read it to find out. It is long, three years of posts, many of which were related to my own inner struggle, questioning and family-related issues. In ascension terms, it was more 3D related and “mundane” issues such as career and family. However, it was also spiritual in it’s own right. In fact, in reading over the posts from that blog, it indicates a much more balanced path than the one I have been on since 2014.

Why would I return to this “path”? The returning post in my Blogger blog explains but basically I am choosing the tried and true path versus the not so tried and true one (also known as the “ascension path”). My “old” path was reliable, workable and the results consistent. There was no “on-again, off-again” certainty/Knowing. It had (has) proven results, and not just for me but for thousands (millions?) of others. I have no doubt whatsoever that returning to this path will provide the healing and understanding I need so desperately now. It will also bring balance back into my life. Physical and Spiritual will come into balance effortlessly, focus will be on what it should be – living this life.

How did I come to this conclusion? No, I didn’t have a profound Knowing or intensely prophetic dreams. Heck, I can’t even remember my dreams right now! No, I just woke up and knew what to do and before I knew it I was telling my husband and writing in my old blog. Honestly, I’m just tired of the roller-coaster ride. I looked at my current life and things are still not what I want them to be after three years of “work”; nothing has changed really. Though it feels like I’ve changed inside by leaps and bounds it isn’t manifesting in my life. If things are not shifting in my life, if things on the outside remain the same, then the real change has yet to occur. It is only when how we feel on the inside matches our lives (inner reality matches our outer reality) that real transformation has occurred. The path I’ve been on has served it’s purpose. I have gone as far as I can.

What will this new old path look like now that I have returned to it? Will I have dreams, OBEs, profound Knowing? Probably, but who knows? I don’t care one way or the other. To me those experiences, though amazing and fun, are a big part of the distraction and booby traps I have run into. The path I am returning to focuses on the individual creating their reality, not looking to spiritual guides, dreams or profound experiences to show them their path. I do think all of the above has it’s place, but I won’t be looking for answers via those avenues anymore. I am going to take my power back.

Honestly, right now, I have come to the conclusion that the “ascension path” is a booby trap in and of itself. Kundalini is a force to be reckoned with and not something one should haphazardly navigate through via human Ego as their only map. BAD IDEA. I look back on these past years and see just how unprepared I was to handle everything I experienced. Had I stayed on the path I was on and not veered off it I have no doubt I would have handled all of it so much better and come out the other end ten times more advanced than I am now. My mistake. A lesson learned – again.






Embracing the Goddess Within

This full moon energy is ridiculously intense. I have been feeling it for a week and I suspect I will continue to feel it all month. My heart is most affected by it, though. So much so that at times it feels almost painful. Just when I think my heart has opened as much as is possible it blasts open more. I am beginning to think there is no end to the depths of it.

Dream: Pregnant with Twins

I remember speaking to a dietitian about the past week and my diet, how I had been feeling and what I needed to do to resolve it. The talk was not something I wanted. It made me feel as if I were in trouble. The main thing I remember from it was that the dietitian said, “You’ve been really high on energy haven’t you? When you get like that you need to slow down and rest. Take a break. Your body needs you to.” There was also discussion about low blood sugar, my heart and how I have not been eating enough food for the activity I’m doing.

When I left I ended up in a restaurant (emotional nourishment/support) somewhere in Europe with people I did not recognize. I sat down and a woman came to my table and sat in a chair across from me. She was Asian and very pregnant (aspect of self that is maturing). In fact, her stomach was so huge that it looked unnatural. Another woman sitting nearby looked at me and said, “She’s pregnant with twins.” I turned to the Asian woman and smiled. The Asian woman motioned to her tummy and said, “Just another week or so now and it will all be over.” She was smiling and looking lovingly at her stomach. In my mind I saw a calendar and saw the remainder of this week, the entire next week and a few days of the following week. I realized this must be her due date. I was impressed that the woman had carried a set of twins to term. I said, “You’re doing a great job! Just remember to let yourself rest after they’re born. Let someone else care for them and sleep. You’ll need it.”


Heart Expansion

Something about the dream and the pregnant woman triggered me into full lucidity. I began to cry and woke up. My heart chakra was enormous, spreading the length of my torso and also up into my throat chakra. The pregnant woman in the dream was what was on my mind. It felt like she was me. Lately I’ve been having tons of dreams about pregnancy and/or twins but I have not been posting them. Usually the twins are still babies and one is male and the other is female.

My heart was overflowing. It reminded me of when I was in Tennessee at my friend Yvonne’s house. I had woken one morning and had so much love I didn’t know what to do with it. I had burst into tears and hugged my friend, something I rarely do when I cry. I said to her, “I feel so much love. I don’t know what to do with all of it.” I Knew then that there would be a meeting soon and this heart opening was preparing me for it.

The tears didn’t last long because I realized something else. My guidance was saying to me, “You are love.” It took a while for the message to get through and when it did I said it to myself – I am love.  I recognized the vastness of the love I was feeling was a reflection of me. I was both recognizing and experiencing myself. It felt that soon that love would engulf me completely and I would be devoured by it. I did not feel fear, though. I felt anticipation. The strongest feeling at that moment was the absolute longing. I have never wanted anything more in my entire life. Nothing.

I’ve felt it before. I thought at the time that I was missing someone but I had never missed anyone like this. It was almost painful, causing physical reactions I had never experienced before. And here it was again. So intense that I felt at a loss as to how to manage it. But in recognizing I was feeling myself, my Divine Self, whole and complete, there was relief. I knew beyond a shadow of a doubt that I could – would – have what it was I was longing for. And when it happened, my heart would be even larger, expanding to every single chakra of this physical body. I couldn’t be afraid of the feelings that came with it. I had to accept them, feel them, embrace them as me because to reject them was to reject myself.


The more I allowed this indescribable feeling of Divine love, the more relaxed and calm I became. Eventually I drifted into the in-between. Not long after I saw a scene reminiscent of a popular daytime soap opera. In fact, when I saw the scene I thought, “Days of Our Lives”. There was a man at the front of my vision who I recalled from the show. He had dark hair and was facing me and for some reason I thought of him as a doctor, though I don’t remember if he is one or not on the show since I stopped watching it sometime back in the 1990’s. Not long after I recognized all of this, I saw a message in the upper left-hand portion of my vision. Written in white were the words, “Three more days.”


I woke up as soon as I saw the message. It is always funny how fast they wake me up. As soon as I saw the message and read it the message seemed to echo in my mind and when I woke up I was saying to myself, “Three more days.” It is like I plan it this way so that I remember the messages. It never ceases to amaze me how this process works. I am always surprised. Every time.

Then as I was recovering from the shock of the message that seemed to infer that in three days my life would become a soap opera (ha! I can only guess to what degree) I began to hear the songs.

The first and most prominent song was this one. The part in bold was what was emphasized:

Just give me a reason
Just a little bit’s enough
Just a second we’re not broken just bent 
And we can learn to love again
It’s in the stars
It’s been written in the scars on our hearts
We’re not broken just bent
And we can learn to love again

The second song was one that came along with other syncs yesterday. I won’t go into detail here but the part of the song that was going over and over in my mind both yesterday and today so far is, “Just call me, if you need a friend. Call me. Call me.”

Nurturing Self – Embracing the Goddess Within

At some point this morning I had a conversation with my guidance about becoming the Goddess. There was discussion about being a nurturer and embracing this aspect of myself. This means nurturing not only others but myself. I have not been nurturing myself, though. If anything, I have been neglecting myself.

Part of embracing the Goddess within is embracing and openly expressing emotion. The Goddess is the healer of the world because they are capable of awakening the greatest force within themselves: love. The Divine Goddess can awaken love in others and there is no greater force of healing energy than love. But, in order to heal and awaken others they must be completely awakened to love themselves. It appears that is what I am doing – awakening to my own love so that I can share it with others and fulfill my role as Goddess.