Message: Rest Area

I’ve been home for almost two days now. It has been a little bit of an adjustment getting back to “normal”. When I arrived home I was met at the airport by my husband and oldest son. My husband hadn’t texted me he was on his way, so I thought he may be late. Turns out he stayed quiet on purpose for the surprise. 

When we got to the car I was surprised by my other two children. My oldest son told me they were swimming at their uncle’s house. lol 

When I got to the house I was again surprised. This time with a kitchen upgrade. My whole family helped my husband make some small changes that made a big difference. He redid the backsplash, painted it a new color, bought a new table and installed pendant lighting. On top of all this, he thoroughly cleaned the entire house!! He also had two bouquets of flowers waiting for me. I love the new look of my kitchen!

Since returning, I have felt more gratitude for what I have. Living with so much less for 30 days has really helped me see how blessed I am. Air conditioning, hot water, reliable electricity, etc – I am surrounded by abundance! 

Funny enough, the first day back was full of surprises. When I logged into work from home, a porn pop-up greeted me. Turns out my son had clicked on something. lol I had to fix that issue because it was just plain annoying. Then, when I got ready to drive into work, my car wouldn’t start. It had a dead battery. My husband came to fix it and discovered that our Hyundai hybrid model doesn’t have a traditional battery like our Prius did. Instead you just push a reset button. Ha! At work I discovered my printer and scanner had not been set up. The internet was not functioning properly so set up was not happening and then when it did work the printer printed sideways! My boss eventually just printed the checks from her computer and printer. lol Finally, on the way home, my husband almost rear ended another car. 

I mention all this not to point out the stress but my response to it. Instead of stressing out, I mostly just laughed at it all. I was most surprised by how I reacted to the near miss by my husband. Sure I had the adrenaline rush of surprise but the thing that was unusual for me was that I was so relaxed. Usually I am on alert for possible accidents and very uneasy when my husband drives. I suppose all my time in taxis in Costa Rica has helped. haha!

Messages and Lucid Dream

This morning I awoke to a message: Rest Area. If you think of the purpose of rest areas along highways you will get the point. I understood it to mean that on my life journey I have come to a place where I can rest and relax for as long as I need. It’s not the same as a parking lot which implies that no progress is being made and you are at a standstill. Instead, it is more that I need to sleep and recover from a long journey. Now is the time to enjoy life. I can look back on my progress and gain insight for the journey ahead. Eventually I will leave but only when I am well rested and ready. 

Also, I had a lucid dream experience where I began to feel, see and experience my dream in a very real way. A large, overweight man approached me and introduced himself as “Eddy”. When I heard his name, I heard another word behind it, “Fast”. So his name was “Fast Eddy” which happens to be the name of a restaurant often found near hotels and gas stations – Fast Eddie’s. For some reason I hugged the man close and my vision turned on vividly along with all my other senses. I also recall kissing him passionately. The man was taller than me, so I had to look up to kiss him. I remember seeing his neck and jawline clearly. As I began to look towards his face he said, “What do you see?” I replied, “Whatever I want.” I lost my vision and woke up briefly only to return to sleep. 

With my reply, I understood that my answer was a message in itself. I create my reality and in that moment I was seeing Eddy as I wanted to see him. I was creating his image and the entirety of the experience I was having. 

Goals

I don’t really find these messages surprising considering the goals I set for myself upon returning home. With the space and isolation I found in Costa Rica I gained insight into myself which was the whole point to begin with! My time alone helped me to reacquaint myself with my true nature which, as a Projector, involves quite a bit of downtime in the form of sleep and immersion in nature. I did a whole lot of nothing for much of my time in Costa Rica. lol What was surprising to me was how wonderful I slept in an unfamiliar place with no a/c. It was the best sleep I’ve had in a long time!!!

My design is to go with the flow. That is what I have NOT been doing in life but I got to experience this aspect of myself while in Costa Rica. It took a while. I resisted at first. I think the second week was when I finally began to embrace the feeling. Prior to this I experienced quite a bit of emotional release. A ridge of energy had to be dispelled and with it lots of considerations that weren’t helpful. I directly confronted some false beliefs about myself.

Growing up, I often heard that I was “lazy” from my mom. She believed in productivity, as does my husband (and most Generating types). So, if I am not producing something of value then it is pointless. Since resting and laying around is not producing something of value (it is, something I now recognize), then whenever I do nothing I feel guilty and often fill my day with as much activity as I can. This, for a Projector, is not in line with our design. We need lots of rest and time alone. Plus, my 2nd line requires plenty of rest and aloneness, too. 

When I finally let myself rest and be “lazy” I recognized this was very much my nature. I LOVE to sleep and lay around. In fact, if you were to ask me my favorite thing (physically) about this world/life, I would say, “My pillows.” lol I even told my SIL when I arrived that my goal was to sleep as much as I could, and that I did do! 

I decided that when I returned home I would do these things:

1. Listen more and talk less.
2. If I feel irritable or bitchy find a way to be by myself ASAP. 
3. Communicate my needs before I feel irritable and bitchy.
4. Listen to my first response to an invitation and stick with it. 
5. Sleep as much as I want and whenever I want! 
6. Eat and exercise intuitively rather than forcing myself to stick to a routine or schedule.

Number 1 came from understanding just how eagerly I want to share with others, but mostly others don’t want to (or aren’t ready to) receive. So, when I do get invited, I tend to overwhelm the other with too much, too fast. I am often told I am “too intense” because of this. So, I will wait to be invited and then just give a little of all that I have to share and let the other decide whether they want more.

Number 4 is advice for all Self-Projected Projectors. I/we need to listen to my/our own voice and follow it. If I feel/say “no”, then that is what I need to stick with. 

Number 6 comes from a whole month of eating and exercising intuitively. When I went to Costa Rica I knew I wouldn’t exercise, at least not like I am use to (I ran with horses and went on several hikes). I also decided to eat whatever I wanted. It became clear to me just how much time and effort I use to put into my diet and exercise routine. I am much happier not putting so much energy into doing that! Besides, my body still looks and feels good, even after a whole month of “eating like shit” and “laying around.” LOL

And after this morning’s message concurrent with the realization that I am in a period of abundance, I have decided to enjoy this period in my life as much as possible because, at some point, circumstances will change. Right now, though, life is really sweet. 

Pictures

Leaving you with some pictures of my last few days in Costa Rica. Some are of my trip to San Jose where I visited the Doka coffee estate and the La Paz Waterfall Gardens. 

LYD Zoom FAIL and Info on Authority

Attended the Living Your Design (LYD) Zoom meeting and was quite disappointed. First, there were a total of 18 participants! So the group was too big IMO for any kind of meaningful, connected discussion to occur. The majority of the participants were young, also, which created a completely different vibe, one I was not thrilled about. As a teacher, the group reminded me of my elementary aged students – ages 6 or so. When I would ask a question, every.single.student would raise their hands, most of them rising out of their seats, and all of them saying, “Me, me, me! I know! I know!” This is what the attendance energy was like. I could feel from all of them how desperate they were for one-on-one attention. And when they were called upon, they eagerly took up way too much time talking about themselves, going on tangents or asking multiple questions.

Part of the group dynamics and this “desperate to be heard” feeling came from the fact that the majority of the attendees were Projector types. Why would this be? Well, Projectors have to “wait for the invitation” and, as you can imagine, the waiting can be difficult to endure. So, to be in a group where an invitation is assumed allows the Projector to speak their truth. This is what they have been waiting for!!! So, yeah, lots of very eager beavers, all ready to speak their truth which they’ve been holding in for what feels like forever. Then both facilitators were also Projectors, ha! They loved sharing their charts the most. Ugh. You may wonder, “Weren’t you eager, too?” Not really. I may have spoken if requested but I was not feeling it. I felt like observing and that was what I did. I learned a long time ago that group invitation has its limits, too, and most are not truly open to what I have to say. They will really only listen if what I say is about them and serves to guide them in some way.

Second, the first 2 hours was a review of the course and full of repetitive questions by people who either weren’t in attendance for the original question or were wasting their time in the chat room, not paying attention to the actual class (OMG so annoying!). Why they had the chatroom open, IDK, but the amount of notifications I was getting was distracting. It was obvious some of the students knew each other and they were chatting about personal topics related to HD but not related to what was currently being discussed. As a teacher, seeing the chat going on while the teacher was teaching, was a big trigger to me. It screamed disrespect.

The last three hours was meant to discuss authority specifically. Again, the students were eager beavers and the amount of time that was spent on emotional, splenic and sacral authority was ridiculous. To give you an example, when Splenic authority was the topic, I went downstairs to eat lunch and folded an entire load of laundry and they were STILL talking about it! I got up again and did more stuff and came back and they finally moved on from it. I would say they spent a total of 30 minutes just on that authority. There was only 2 hours total to focus on all the different authorities, too!

I waited patiently throughout because I wanted to hear about G-Center authority specifically. I didn’t want to talk or share or any of that really. In fact, I would have been horribly embarrassed had they called on me specifically. I just wanted to hear more on it and if a question came to me I would ask it. What ended up happening was that so many in the group were of the most common authority types (emotional, sacral and splenic) that by the time it got to G-Center the time had run out and the facilitators decided, “We will save that for the next Zoom.” UGH!!!! I won’t be in that one because I will be in Costa Rica!!

Sure, I could’ve left the meeting at any time and I did take breaks and shut off my video for most of it. When I tuned into my authority to see what I should do, I felt like there was nothing pressing going on that needed my attention and so I might as well stay. So that’s what I did. 

I was thoroughly frustrated with the experience in the end. In my observation of the participants and their behavior, I saw that most were fascinated with this new “toy” they had found and eager to share and explore it. They wanted to talk with their friends about it and do what children do with new toys. This mirrors the FB groups I’m in. All very young (20’s-early 30’s) and self-absorbed. It’s newness will eventually wear off and when they are asked to actually “do the work” a good half or more will fall away, distracted by another new “toy” that promises to give them all the answers and show them the way. I want to scream at all of them and say, “YOU have to do the work! HD is a tool. It is not meant to tell you what to do! It is not a fast track. There IS NO fast track!” 

The types of questions they were asking indicated they were looking for an answer to fix everything that is “wrong” with themselves. They all wanted a quick fix. Who doesn’t? But HD isn’t that. 

What is interesting, is that toward the end of his life, Ra Uru Hu expressed similar frustrations with people who came to him. They wanted him to tell them what to do. He got so exasperated that he eventually stopped engaging with people like that and called them on it. WTG Ra! I had similar concerns when I gave readings full-time. Too often people wanted me to tell them what to do, to make life decisions for them. It really turned me off to the point that I started putting limits on psychic readings. My rule was, “Don’t come back for another reading on the same topic until it has been 6 months.” I kept records, too, just because so many would come back and ask the SAME questions!!!

There was this guy, I will call him, “Splenic guy” because he was thoroughly obsessed with his splenic authority and had tons of questions, most that were really off topic and had no relevance to the class. He was called on at least four times throughout the class and each time he took up so much time that I ended up walking away from the computer each time because I couldn’t take it. When he got an answer it wasn’t good enough. Why? Because they were telling him he had to learn on his own. They didn’t give him the quick fix he wanted. Sigh. 

The good news is I learned a lot about the authorities. 

Solar Plexus (emotional) authority – “The longer you wait, the sweeter it tastes”. Don’t rush into things. Take your time. Ride the emotional wave. This means let the emotion go through all it’s stages until you are back to a settled, “flat” emotional feeling. Only then do you make a decision. This means that when something really tasty and wonderful comes along, wait it through to the end, when that tastiness is just a comfortable part of the experience and not a “woah, I want more of that!’. Only then do you move forward with a decision. Do I want this? If yes, do it. If no, don’t.

A good example – My mom is emotional authority. My sister blocked her on FB when she found out my mom supported Trump and didn’t take Covid seriously. My mom was very hurt and crying when she came to me and for my mom, who rarely shows her emotions, this was a big deal. She said she was going to take my sister out of her will. I advised her to wait a bit before doing anything drastic and reminded her to focus on the love she felt instead. I advised that she may make a decision she regretted otherwise. 

Sacral Authority – this is an easy one. You will get a “yes” or “no” response from your sacral. It is pretty obvious if you are not in your mind all the time and second-guessing it. If you ignore a “no” and do something anyway, be prepared to suddenly find yourself exhausted or struggling to find energy to follow through. 

Good example of this: My husband is sacral authority. He tends to say yes to everything (he has an open heart center, also) and rather than change his mind and pull out, he follows through no matter what. The result is he finds himself unusually tired for no reason, taking naps mid-day and struggling to find the energy to do things. When he does things he enjoys, however, he has endless energy. So, I try to encourage him to do those things instead, but he just can’t say no to certain people. His Not-Self wins too often.

Splenic Authority – Most common Projector authority BTW. This one is a split second response of “yes” or “no”. It is very easy to miss because the “voice” is really quiet. The Spleen responds “in the moment” and can change from moment to moment. So the response is for the present moment only and so that means in the next moment that response could change. So, at 1pm you may get a “yes” to go to that party but at 5pm, while at the party, you may get the “no” response. The problem is that if you miss the response then it is gone and then you are stuck with a prior one or second-guessing yourself. This could lead you to a not so good result. Maybe you just have a bad time at the party or it could be that you miss another better opportunity that you would have been led to had you listened and followed your authority in the moment.

I’ve got lots of people in my life with this authority and so it was very familiar to me its “changeable” tendencies. My MIL is splenic. OMG she is frustrating sometimes! She is ‘yes, no, yes, no’ in crazy amounts. With her, though, it is because she doubts her splenic response and asks people for advice. Her tendency is to do what others want when her spleen tells her “no”. The end result is that she ends up doing stuff she never should’ve agreed to do. Similarly, my friend really struggled with this when she was younger. I watched her jump around from one thing, place, job, relationship to the next as if she was a yo-yo. Her path looked like a zig-zag and the one thing you could always count on was that she was going to change her mind, probably right in the midst of something. She absolutely hated this about herself, but this is what being Splenic Authority is all about! It’s her Not-Self telling her something is “wrong” with her for bouncing around. What if that is exactly what she is suppose to do? 

Most of the Splenic’s in the group were like my friend. They hated that they were bouncing around and felt guilty for changing their minds. Surely they are doing something wrong, right? Nope. 

Another thing I learned from the abundance of time spent on this authority, is that people with a define Spleen (not necessarily their authority) are more likely to be worried about and waiting for that “life or death situation”. When there is nothing going on and nothing to worry about, they are worrying about the ‘what if’s’ related to survival. They are primarily concerned with survival and so when something survival related comes up, there is a tendency to go into fear. The more defined channels and gates in the Spleen, the more fear response.

I laughed about the survival focus and fear response because my MIL is a perfect example. She will go into a frenzy over the most minor survival related things. For example, the car we let her use needed insurance renewed. She had no money (always the case with her) and she was certain that if she didn’t have insurance she would get in a wreck and “bad” things would happen. She called my husband and harassed him for two weeks, leaving multiple voicemails and even calling me several times, just because she could not stop worrying about the “what if’s” if she let the insurance lapse. The thing is, she had two more weeks before it was due. LOL

My MIL is an extreme example, of course, and a perfect example of what happens when you let your mind rule over your authority. My friend doesn’t do this. She is calm and present in the moment. She is a good example of how to follow her authority. 

What I learned is that I’m very grateful for my G-Center authority. LOL I think the last kind of authority I would want is Splenic. I feel for you guys!! 

Heart (Ego) Authority – this one was covered only slightly. Basically, it is a “yes” or “no” response, also. The warning the facilitators gave is to be very careful of what you commit to because those with Ego authority will feel compelled to follow it through to the end. If they don’t, they will really feel split within. I think the facilitator described the feeling as if a limb were being pulled off his body. lol That’s sounds really awful actually. Someone with an open heart, on the other hand, may make too many commitments and then find out they can’t follow through to the end. They eagerly say ‘yes’ only to discover they don’t want to anymore or just can’t. I have a completely open heart center and I have to say I rarely if ever do this. I usually tell people, “I don’t know. I have to see how I feel when the times comes” when asked to do things. If I do commit, I don’t have an issue pulling out and I rarely feel guilty for doing that. I use to when younger, but not anymore. 

G-Center (Self-Projected )Authority – We never got to this authority in the meeting. This is my authority, though, so I will share what I know and my experience of it. This is ONLY a Projector authority. You won’t have it with any of the other aura types. It is also very rare. My struggle with this authority is that I don’t necessarily know what I want or what makes me happy, so following that usually doesn’t work for me. I have to ask myself how a decision makes me feel. I have learned that if I feel nothing, then it is a neutral result, so I just need to decide if I want to spend energy on whatever it is. Will their be a benefit from it? If not, I don’t do it usually. The thing about this authority is that the BIG life decision are obvious but the little ones are not – at all. And big decisions are rare, like once every 7 years – or more! When a big decision comes along, it feel literally moved toward action in one direction. It’s not something I can resist. The smaller decisions are what G-authorities get stuck on the most (as do I). It can be hard to know what to do or not do at times and usually I do…nothing. It can be frustrating but that is, I’ve found, what works best. I spent way too many years saying yes to things that didn’t appeal to me. I now know that if I don’t like it and my immediately response is “no”, to not do it. Period. The speaking the truth is also an indicator. I often don’t soundboard like is suggested but I literally hear the answer in my mind/body if I don’t speak it, which is the same.

IDK if other G-Centers have this experience, but for me, my HS speaks directly to me. I hear a voice, sometimes audibly, but most times it just “arrives” as if my own thought, out of the blue. It teaches me. It guides me. It gives me info. If you have been following this blog for any length of time, you understand some of it. It is unique, that is for sure. It often tells me my own future, shows me glimpses of it even, and it comes to pass later after I’ve forgotten and I have an OMG moment. It is always surprising me. It never gets old.

Environment (Outer) Authority – This is the authority of a Mental Projector. I don’t know much more than the image indicates here. It is very similar to G-Centered in that speaking to others (soundboard) is helpful but there is a time condition to this in that you speak with others over time to get clarity. The main point of this authority is that you look out into the environment to get your answer. You use others to help get clarity by listening to what you say to them.

Lunar (Moon) Authority – Reflector only authority. This one is pretty self-explanatory. You wait 28 days before making a decision. Sound-boarding is good for this authority, also. I like that this one has a time stamp. I wish mine did!

Living Your Design Class Reflections

I signed up for the Living Your Design (LYD) class through the person who I received my HD Foundation reading from. She is partnered with another Projector and they teach the intro classes together. I finished it quite quickly because it was mostly review for me. This weekend (tomorrow) is the live Zoom to go over the course content, ask questions and review charts. I plan on attending it but don’t need the review. I’m mostly interested in the question and answer section and chart reviews of participants.

So far, the most interesting tidbit of info that I learned is that Manifestors are not non-energy types as I thought but in fact an energy type like Generators. There are four motors (energy) centers – the solar plexus, the sacral, the root and the heart (see image below). What makes a Manifestor is there is a direct line between the throat and a motor but no sacral definition. Additionally, there are Projectors like this – they have a defined motor and so have a source of energy they can pull from. No Projector will have a defined sacral but there will be those who do have one or more of the other motors defined. Honestly, I don’t think Projectors with a motor should be called that but instead put into their own group, kinda like Manifesting Generators are a subgroup of Generators. This isn’t how it is, though, so maybe I will ask why.

The questions this brings up for me are related to how these types feel energetically. How can I tell via their energy what aura type they are? Similarly, how does the energy of Manifestors and Reflectors feel (or as my teachers says “taste”)? And then, how does this affect the dynamics of the relationship? Will I get along better or worse with Manifestors than Generators? Mostly I just want to know their experience with these energy types. How does the energy feel/taste? How have the dynamics differed?

These questions mostly arise from new data I’ve collected on the people around me. I recently mentioned that I discovered my MIL is a Splenic Projector with a 5/1 profile. Honestly, my MIL drives me crazy and I tend to not like her in general. She is very indecisive and manipulative. She guilt trips her sons into giving her money and can be very passive aggressive. I realize this is her not-self but still it is quite aggravating. Knowing she is a Projector has helped me understand her better, but energetically, I had no idea what energy type she was until I did her chart. Her energy feels chaotic to me most of the time. Yet her typical behavior patterns scream that she is a Projector who is struggling to be a Generator.

I am much better at figuring out someone’s profile type than I am their energy type so far. For example, I recently had a discussion with my SIL about HD and mentioned that I suspected her husband was a 2/4 Generator. I based my hypothesis on observed behavior more than how his energy felt. Sure enough, when I did his chart he is a 2/4 Emotional Generator. BINGO!

However, I was shocked to discover that both my SIL and other BIL are Manifestors!! WTF? I had no idea. Their energy felt like Generator energy to me. I don’t have birth time yet for either of them but no matter what time I entered for them both, Manifestor was the result. My SIL is a 6/2 (or 6/3) Splenic Manifestor and my BIL is a 4/6 Emotional Manifestor. To think I’ve been around two Manifestors this whole time and had no idea has me second guessing my ability to read energy. Ha!

When I spoke with my SIL about typical traits of a Manifestor, she identified with them 100%. I haven’t spoken to my BIL about any of it.

My experiences with both of them is consistent with how a Manifestor aura can make someone feel – repelled, cautious, suspicious. I always feel the need to keep my distance from them both and feel especially repelled by my BIL. My SIL is much more approachable. There is a sense of “IDK what to think” when I’m around them. I have to wait for them to be open to me and then I feel better around them. Turns out, Manifestors basically send out an energetic invitation that Projectors can sense that gives them permission to penetrate their energy. Otherwise, Projectors are locked out – and so is everyone else. As a Projector, to not be able to read the energy ends up leaving me feeling effectively and completely “blocked”.

So I am curious as to whether my experiences with Manifestor auras matches the experience of other Projectors. We will see.

The 5/1 Profile Type

As I discover the profile and aura types of the people around me, I am discovering many 5/1 profile types. I already mentioned my MIL, but my boss is also one – 5/1 Emotional Manifesting Generator. Unlike my MIL, I tend to get along pretty well with my boss. She is very knowledgeable about her work/job and so I tend to take on the role of student with her because I’ve found her knowledgeable advice accurate and sensible. She has a very powerful aura, at least to me, that seems to push me into a kind of submission when around her. It’s not that I feel forced or anything, it is just that I sense this is how I need to be around her. I don’t talk as much. I listen. I don’t feel from her any mysteriousness, really, which is what I’ve read of 5th lines. My teacher is a 5/1 Mental Projector and she calls herself a “talking head”, or a “horn”. So, with that in mind, it makes sense that my boss would take on a kind of dominating role over me when sharing her knowledge – that’s what she is here to do! And when I let her do this, I can tell she is in her “zone” and happier for it.

Interestingly, I had a dream not long ago about an ex-boyfriend of mine. I have not dreamed of him in years! Yet I spent an entire night talking to him and when I woke up I recognized him and wondered why he was in my dream. Immediately I thought, “I wonder what his HD profile and energy type is?” Unfortunately, I couldn’t remember his birthdate. I could only remember he was born in September (Virgo) and he was 6 years older than me. Not enough info to do his chart.

Two days later, on a whim and not really even thinking of him beforehand, I did a quick Google search to see if any new info came up. Years ago, after having a dream of him, I couldn’t find anything on him. Nada. It was like he had vanished. This time, however, he came up straight away – a picture, a video, and even his birthdate!

So, knowing enough about his birth data, I created his chart. I don’t have his birth time, but again, it is pretty obvious what his energy and profile type are. He is a 5/1 Emotional Generator. So I have dated a 5/1!!

In comparing my experiences with other 5/1’s, I now know my tendency is to listen attentively and let them talk (and talk they do!). With my ex, I remember just sitting quietly as he spewed nastiness about this person or that thing. It’s not that he was a negative person, really, but he was very frustrated (his not-self) by people and conditions in his life and I instinctively allowed him to talk on and on about it without interjecting or offering advice. I wasn’t necessarily feeling as if I was learning from him, and thinking back on those times, the me now would have called him on it. Yet the me then did no such thing.

I find it interesting that I sit quietly and listen to my boss in the same way. I don’t have any judgements or criticisms, I just listen. If you know me at all, you would know I don’t sit quietly very often. lol Perhaps it is just something about the 5/1 that causes me to step aside and let them be the “talking head” they are here to be? Honestly, it is a very automatic thing for me and I don’t mind at all. The dynamics play out well usually, except that with my ex, he cheated on me. But I know now that it was meant to play out that way. I was not in a position to give him the attention he desired and craved. I don’t think I would have ever satisfied his hunger.

As for the mysteriousness of the 5th line, I am not sure it was there with my ex and I don’t feel it with my boss or MIL. This could be that I am not trying to figure them out, and I’m not really. I’m not trying because I don’t have a reason to. I don’t live with or interact with them daily. When I was in my twenties and dating my ex, I don’t recall caring much about why he was the way he was. I just accepted him, warts and all. He didn’t seem mysterious, he seemed unhappy in general with his life and circumstances, and I didn’t mind that he was this way. In many ways, when I was in my twenties, I just felt to be “along for the ride” in my life and relationships. Now I know this is normal for a 6th line because 6th lines live the first part of their life as 3rd lines. 🙂

My Grandparents Were Non-Energy Types!

Recently, my daughter has become curious about her ancestry. She got an app on her phone and, to my surprise, has been able to fill out her family tree back a few generations on both sides! She showed me that she found my maternal grandparents, asking if the info looked correct, and it did! Someone on my maternal grandmother’s side of the family had done a family tree for many generations back, all the way to before they immigrated to the U.S. My maternal grandfather’s side is not near as complete and my paternal side is almost non-existent.

What was surprising is the amount of documentation provided on this app. They had birth, marriage and death certificates, census information, even draft cards! To see my father’s draft card was fascinating, especially seeing his signature. It has been a long time since I’ve seen it.

When I saw my grandparent’s birth certificates, I immediately wrote down the information to create Human Design charts for both of them. Unfortunately, my grandmother’s birth certificate did not have a time of birth. 😦

To my surprise, I discovered my grandfather was a 4/6 Splenic Projector! Here is his chart:

I always felt a strong connection with my grandfather. While others in the family had various, negative emotional reactions to him, I could see his true self and knew he was not what others assumed he was. He could come across as mean, grumpy, and domineering. His guard was almost always up and he seemed to push people away at times, especially if he was tired or not feeling “in the mood”. He didn’t want to be told what to do. He did his own thing.

My mother and aunt have both expressed to me how their memory of their father is not the greatest. My aunt completely distanced herself from him as she got older. She found him unsupportive, mean, unloving and cruel. My mother also mentioned some things that made her feel this way. Mostly, they both mentioned that he devalued them because they were female, saying cruel things like, “I’m not going to waste money on a woman”. He most definitely was influenced by his generation’s biases!

My experiences with my grandfather were that, yes, at times he was not very nice. For example, I have a couple of vivid memories of him being this way. He use to raise rabbits to eat and one day he killed one right in front of me – hit it on the head with a hammer. I cried and ran away. That night at dinner we had “chicken” but as I was taking a bite he said, “How does Thumper taste?” OMG I was horrified! He laughed heartily.

Another time, when I was with him while he was working on a project, a tiny Kangaroo mouse came running out from under the house. He said, “Oh look! A cute mouse!” and pointed it out to me. He knew I loved animals of all kinds. Then, without warning, he smashed it with his boot. When I cried out, “Why did you do that?” He laughed and said it was a nuisance and he needed to get rid of it. Thankfully, it didn’t suffer, but still, not nice!

Yet, most of my memories are of his kinder side. For example, and in contrast to the two examples above, he found a nest of baby squirrels in his barn one day. Instead of killing them, he called my sisters and me to the barn and gave each of us one to raise. He did this because he had done similar things as a child. My two sisters and I were thrilled and did raise them. What fun pets!

Other fond memories I had were of him taking us fishing. I love to fish because of him even if he did distance himself from me because I “made too much noise” and could scare the fish. lol

I remember him always working on the farm (they had 52 acres), fishing and hunting. In his 50’s he built an underground house which still stands today. He designed it and everything and it is absolutely amazing! Completely underground except for the front door and two windows. He was also very active in the church. He was considered an elder and others looked up to him and admired him.

Though I would have never thought him a Projector, now that I know, it is obvious that he was. He was living as if he were a Generator, like most Projectors tend to do. Go, go, go and then….crash. He was grumpy and mean because he was bitter and that was how it manifested for him (and me, too). When not in a good mood, he could infect everyone with his nasty vibes (me, too). When in a good mood, he made the entire space light up. All he wanted to do was be a good provider for his family, yet he struggled to make ends meet. I am sure he had much negative self-talk about his ability to make money and provide throughout his life.

My biggest memory of him inside the home was of always wanting to be left alone. He would sometimes lock himself in his bedroom to do this but other times I knew better than to disturb him or else get a nasty talking to. We kids knew to just leave him alone and we did, most of the time.

In his old age his true self began to shine through and I saw the man I knew was inside all along. The more I heard his daughters say negative things about him, the more I defended him and explained to them how I saw him. My version was just not real to them, but that is okay and I told them so. I saw a man with a huge heart who sacrificed so much for his family. In the end, he showed his feelings more readily, even crying without hiding. I gave him lots of hugs and kisses to make sure he knew how much I loved him.

After he passed he would often visit my dreams and I had many OBE’s where he was present. The last time I saw him in a dream was very recently. He appeared in a different form from his last life – Asian. He told me that he planned to “get it right this time” and was going to be in the military again but this time as an Asian, whom he despised in this life (lol WWII vet). He was very optimistic and explained how he had felt like a failure much of his life. From what I remember, he chose to be very smart and determined in his new life. In contrast, this life he only had a GED because he never did well in school. He joined the Navy and was a nurse’s assistant while serving his time.

As for my grandmother, with no birth time, it is hard to know what aura type she was. I put in various birth times and came up with two profile types – 5/1 and 4/1. The most common aura type is emotional Projector, followed by emotional Manifestor and emotional Manifesting Generator. Only one of these is 4/1, the rest are all 5/1’s.

Here are two charts that I saved because they felt most like her:

The things that stand out to me about my grandmother are that she was very passive compared to my grandfather. I always thought this was generational (Great Depression Era). I was always more cautious around my grandmother. My grandmother was a big gossip and with her passiveness was this sense that she wanted to be in control. I have never met a Manifestor but I suspect she may have been that since her energy made me cautious. What she displayed didn’t match what I felt from her. I didn’t trust her but I did love her. I never saw them fight or my grandma get mad, though. She was just quiet and subdued. She got cancer in her 40’s but lived to age 89. She sold Avon for a while but was a stay-at-home mom and very involved in the church. You had to be careful what you told her because she tended to gather info and then use it to get what she wanted, especially in her older years.

When I was a kid I didn’t have any issues with her energy, it was just as an adult that I began to feel wary of her. She did begin to display the more negative personality after my grandfather passed. Maybe this was because he was no longer there to support her and provide what she needed?

She was very psychic but sadly was hospitalized for a mental breakdown after she had a psychotic break/split where she would shift into a child personality at times. She was on medication the rest of her life for that. Then she had cancer in his mid-40’s where she was told she would die but miraculously lived a long life.

When I came out as a psychic/medium to my family, my grandmother confided in me that she use to have precognitive dreams and other psychic experiences but she hid them out of fear. Not even my mother, her daughter, knew about it! In her older years she had out-of-body experiences where she would meet up with her husband in the astral (he passed 10 years before her).

After she passed away she came to visit me in Spirit and her personality was evident – happy, energetic, inquisitive, talkative- very different from how I knew her in life but I suspect how she was in youth. My first thought when I was entering her birth data was how she got cancer so early in life. I thought, “Typical Projector burnout.” IDK if the same can happen to Manifestors, though, but probably. It would help if I knew a Manifestor so I could compare how the energy feels. Sigh.

My memories of my grandmother are mostly positive. She loved to cook and because of her I, also, love to cook. She would let me help her in the kitchen, explaining he methods and giving me her “expert” advise and know-how. She also loved to sing and play the piano and guitar (self-taught). When we had family gatherings, we would all gather around the piano and sing.

My interest in gardening was also brought about by my grandmother. She had a HUGE garden and would ask us grandkids to help her plant, tend and harvest it. Because of her, I know how deep to plant certain seeds, how to fertilize, how to layout a garden, what plants do best where, and how to harvest without damaging a plant.

All in all, she was a great demonstration of how someone can be “at peace” in a life (which is the signature of a Manifestor) that is far from peaceful. She was always singing while she worked and her favorite song to sing was, “One Day at a Time”. She lived every day grateful to be alive and made sure we children knew how much of a blessing we were.

Considerations

To think that my grandparents may have both been Projectors, or at least non-energy types, is amazing to me! Here I was thinking that my entire life I have been surrounded by Generating types and this whole time I had two very supportive non-energy types as foundational influences in my life! A HUGE part of my childhood involved my grandparents. I thought of my grandfather as my father more than my biological father. He introduced me to fishing and hunting, taught me to love the outdoors, explore without fear and persevere. My grandmother was someone I could learn from and I eagerly sucked up the information she provided and still use it today. What she taught me turned into the very things that bring me peace in my adult life – singing, cooking, gardening, walking, dreaming, connection with God.

They were married over 50 years. To think of a relationship lasting that long has always been unreal to me, but they did. Perhaps it was because they were both non-energy types? Maybe it is true that being with one’s same energy type is better?

Note: As I was reading what I wrote about my grandparents I became very emotional. It is clear to me now that my grandmother was an Emotional Manifestor. The peace she radiated is still with me. And this whole time I didn’t see it. I felt so disconnected from her in my adult years. I wish that I had paid more attention to her in her golden years. I wish I had sat down with her more, learned from her more. 😦

Here are two pictures of my grandparents. The first is when they were first married. The second is at their 50th anniversary.

Pause. Love the Now.

Pulled this post off my private journal. It was written on May 28th.

Putting together some messages I’ve received over time. Since they’re repeating it means I’m misinterpreting them somehow. 

This morning on my walk, I was concerned about something that recently happened. My husband booked a flight to Costa Rica without consulting with me first. We were planning to go anyway but he went ahead and bought the tickets – $4700! I hadn’t expected the flight to cost so much, but that wasn’t my main concern. I worry about the trip, going to a foreign country with my kids, then having to get tested for Corona just to get back into the US. There are other worries but mostly I have major discomfort when I do anything out of the norm, or anything that takes me away from the familiar – Hermit tendencies in a nutshell.

As I walked along, a song kept going through my head and the part “come back to the sea” repeated. Then I looked down and saw something in the grass. It was an insert from a cigarette package that said, “Pause. Love the Now.” I picked it up knowing it was a message. When I picked it up, I recalled more song messages, messages I’ve received over the past couple of months.

The first song message – “come back to the sea” seemed to fit the idea of going to Costa Rica. We will be staying on the Pacific ocean with my husband’s half-sister (so my SIL). She has a horse ranch where she does equine therapy. The ranch is located on a peninsula walking distance to the ocean. There are cottages on the land. One is occupied by my SIL and I think there are two more – a one bedroom and two bedroom. We will be staying in the two bedroom cottage.

The other two messages are the same one, just different songs – “Where are you now?” This is a reminder to stay in the present; to not be distracted by the past or the “what if’s” of the future.

Then another song came to mind – “Let it happen.” When I first received this message I thought it was related to the Kundalini and my tendency to resist the energy because of its intensity and the fear it triggers.

Another message, this one repeated by my husband a lot lately, is, “Sometimes you just need to DO it! You can worry about the ‘how’ later.” That message is self explanatory. 🙂

As I looked at the message in my hand, I had an, “Ah ha!” moment. It was like a light bulb went off.

My guides have been trying to tell me to just let life happen. To just flow with life (be in the present moment) and if I do that, I will end up where I need to be. 

It became clear to me that in my resistance I have missed opportunities to be led where I need to be and to the people I need to meet. I overthink things. I resist almost immediately those things brought up for my consideration, usually by my husband. But, as a Projector, it is the Generators in my life who have the energy to get me things or take me places. If I keep turning down their offers, nothing will change. I will remain stuck. All I can do is tell them what I need and allow them to provide the means for me to get there.

For example, this Costa Rica trip has come up previously.  In 2020, my husband suggested I go and stay with his sister and use that time to rest, regenerate and get clear on things. I resisted and since it was during Corona there were just too many stops. A big one was that we couldn’t get passports for the kids at the time and I didn’t want to travel there alone. Recently, he suggested the trip again and, surprisingly, filled out the paperwork for the passports (almost all by himself) for the kids and they arrived last week. He wasted no time buying the tickets. My husband thinks I should stay behind rather than return to the U.S. with them. He tells me to take as much time as I need to get clear, heal, regenerate, etc. He even suggested I try equine therapy. My SIL is on board with this, happy to have family around and eager to share her passion. She has lived in Costa Rica for over two years. She says the location is a “vortex”; very rejuvenating and healing.

I have been resistant to this idea the whole time. Mostly, I am just uncomfortable with all the unknowns. I don’t like traveling very much. I get anxious and worry about the ‘what if’s’. I come up with tons of reasons why we/I shouldn’t do things. I realize now I am just resistant to change of any kind, even if the outcome may be positive. My resistance is born from fear and/or my tendency to withdraw and retreat inward. 

Most recently I’ve been trying to build a cabin at my mom’s. It has been difficult to get the go ahead from anyone. I find resistance from my husband and my mom. My husband always asks, “What’s your goal?” My answer is, “To get away. To get space to find myself.” He responds that he has trouble thinking ahead with my idea of building a cabin. He said, “What are you going to do there? Just sit in it?” lol He suggested, “Just go somewhere. Just do it.” He is willing to let me have space and distance for however long I need. I think I want to be at my mom’s so that I can be close to home, to the familiar. It will keep me closer to my kids, too. Yet, he is probably right that the more distance, the more unfamiliar, the better. If I am too close to home, I will be tempted to go home too soon and at the first sign of discomfort. Also, if I stay on my mom’s land, she inevitably will visit, probably daily. I love my mom and enjoy spending time with her, but her influence would go against my goal of getting space and distance from the intentions and influences of others. My mom especially would like to see me and my husband stay together. I tend to easily be pressured by her desires of me, also.

And who knows what or how the Universe will provide? I have fallen victim to the trap of thinking I have control. Ha! 

Then there is the fact that by my design, I am meant to “go with the flow”, easily let go and follow my Higher Self. I have not been going with the flow! I think of what I want – good – but then I think I have control of how I get it. I don’t let the Universe step in and provide it because I keep getting in the way! 

I am reminded of when I decided to return to work. I listed what I wanted in my new job and then felt a need to ask my husband to help me. Within a week I had the job I have now – a perfect fit! I stepped aside and let the Universe show me the way and it worked – fast. 

I don’t know what is best for me, even though I think I do. Sometimes what I want is not what I need. I may end up in Costa Rica and feel I don’t want/need to stay behind on my own. Or I could love it and desire more time. I don’t know how I will feel when I get there. If I am operating from a place of resistance, it most definitely will leave me confused and unbalanced.

From Today

We leave for Costa Rica on the 18th of June and return on the 27th. Costa Rica doesn’t require a Covid test to enter, which is nice, but they do require us to buy health insurance. This cost us $250. We have to stay in a hotel the night of our arrival and the day before our departure because of the departure time of our flights. We also have to rent a car while we are there because the ranch is about a 5 hour drive from San Jose. For some reason there were not many options for day/times when my husband booked our airfare. We suspect the airlines have consolidated flights and hiked fares.

To return to the U.S. everyone has to have a negative Covid test taken within three days of the return flight. The health insurance we purchased should take care of the cost, but the test is unpleasant. Yuck. And no, even if we all get vaccinated, proof of a negative Covid test result is still required.

Once we get to the ranch there is no charge for our accommodations and my SIL will act as our guide. I have no idea what we will do while we are there. I prefer to just see the country and enjoy nature, but knowing my husband there will be activities every day.

I did my SIL’s HD chart to check out her energy and profile type. She is a 4/1 (very rare, 2% of population) Emotional Manifesting Generator. I researched it a bit and then sent her a summary of what I discovered during my brief research. Turns out, she has a Juxtaposition cross, which is rare in itself. She isn’t here to make karma nor to resolve it. She has her own path and others can/will get pulled onto her path, but she won’t get pulled onto others’ paths.

Here is part of what I wrote to her about her profile type:

You are designed to study and immerse yourself in something you love and then influence others with your knowledge base. Once you have studied enough to build a foundation, you use your communication and personal skills to share your knowledge of that subject with your network. Your quality of life is deeply dependent upon the quality of your network. You need your network to effectively externalize your knowledge base. Even though you are fixed like an oak tree you are also vulnerable. You are so fixed you can be broken and the pieces can be hard to put back together. In order to stay steady on your path it is important for you to stay exactly who you are and not change for anyone else. Others need to adapt to you, not the other way around. 

Relationships – 4/1’s cannot be in a relationship where they are resisted or there is lack of trust or loyalty. 4/1’s will be the most loyal and generous of friends if they have trust, loyalty and pure transparency from the other.

Knowing this is helpful for me, especially if I decide to stay. I prefer to be around other Projectors but if I am going to be around a Generating type, I prefer one with emotional authority, probably because that is my mom’s authority and I am use to it.

I don’t know what will happen with this trip. Will I stay or will I return? All I know is that my Authority (Higher Self) is nudging me to get away for a while. I need to do this. When I had my HD Foundation Reading, I said this more than once and there was an energy behind my words that moved me within. There’s no denying the truth of it, then. The how of it was not part of what I vocalized, but then that isn’t surprising. So, I have to allow the Universe to provide me with the right environment and space. Is it Costa Rica? Maybe.

Thankfully, I have the support of my husband and others, so if I decide to stay it will be O.K. I will be taking my laptop with me so that, if I have to, I can work while abroad. Thankfully, my job is almost 100% remote so as long as I have a computer and internet I can work. The only issue is when I have to pay the company bills. I have to physically put the checks in a printer, etc., but my husband is willing to do that part of my job so I don’t have to worry about it. The cool thing is my job pays more than enough to provide for whatever I need while I’m there. The cost of living in Costa Rica is very, very affordable. I can live very well on less than $1500/month. 🙂

Part of me is ready and willing to be gone a good six months. Part of me is terrified about what that may mean. Will my world come tumbling down around me? Would my staying lead to major shifts in not only my world, by my husband’s?

Funny enough, I mentioned that I knew things would crumble down around me in my reading but I added, “It’s not my world anyway. It’s his [my husband’s].” Bingo.

One last thing – yesterday morning I woke up with a song on my mind: The Good, the Bad and the Ugly. Not exactly sure why or if it means anything. I did notice it was written the same year my SIL was born – 1966. 🙂 Wanted to put it here just for the fun of it.

My HD Foundation Reading

Monday I had my Human Design Foundation Reading. It’s taken me a while to gather all the data from it and I am still processing the information, but I want to share what I have now for those of you who may be considering getting a foundation reading yourself.

First, I highly recommend a HD Foundation Reading to anyone curious about Human Design. Even with all the self-study I did, I gained so much more than just data from the experience.

Notes from Reading

Below are my notes from the reading. Maybe some day I will organize my notes into a proper report, but for now this will do.

Defined Centers – represent our reliable Self. Mine are the G-Center and Throat. These centers can initiate positive and negative reactions in others. One particular negative reaction I may encounter is in response to my voice, which tends to be very commanding, loud and have a certain intensity to it that some people find offensive or intolerable. Note: I have often been told I am “too loud” and “your voice hurts”. I try to tone it down but when I am excited or passionate about what I’m talking about, I just can’t control the intensity of my voice. Positive examples: As a teacher, having a loud and commanding voice easily gets and keeps the attention of students. As a singer, projection of my voice has never been an issue.

Undefined Centers (I have 4) – Wisdom potential. Positive in that they represent my natural potential to see others clearly. Negative in that I can easily assume I need to consistently function in certain way when it’s not my nature (be fixed when I’m not).

Completely open centers (I have 3) – These centers represent areas where I have completed learning of the themes of those centers (mastered them). It is my greatest access to wisdom. So, I have mastered the head center, heart center and solar plexus center and all themes they encompass. Yay!

Completely open solar plexus – I can have no emotion (seem cold/uncaring) or have every emotion (overly emotional).

I have a very particular design: I have a highly selective natural body (a 2nd line natural) which means I’m very specific about who I “take in”. As a Projector with a 2nd line, I am looking for a very specific energy to take in. Think of it as “eating energy”. I don’t just take in parts of someone’s energy, I take it all in very deeply.

Generating types can make me feel “alien”. I am constantly “scanning” their energy for what I want “to eat”. I’m looking for someone who will value me for my presence. Note: I told her that I felt like I was always looking for something but rarely find it. She said I’m looking for a specific energy in others auras.

I should look at myself as a “very specialized instrument” and accept that “I’m special”. I had an emotional response to this because my guidance said to me, “See. I told you you’re special. Listen to her.” lol

My purpose is tied to my 1-8 Channel of Inspiration. I’m here for a certain refined beauty and uniqueness that’s not common but “beautiful”. She uses an analogy of an “orchid in a pine forest”.

My Question: If I’m so special, why does my life not reflect that back to me? Why does my outer reality not reflect my inner reality?

The answer was that to get to that point I need to decondition. I need to rearrange my outer reality while clearing my inner one (clearing, healing).

When a Projector has only one channel like I do, then my purpose is very, very specific. I am here to use my voice to empower and inspire others. It is a very creative channel and only I will know what my specific talent is.

Creative Expression – Won’t feel like work. I will know “this is why I’m here”. Empowering others, empowers me.

I can be completely invisible to many, but at the same time I will be “everything” to certain others.

My ability to reflect is attractive – makes others feel to be with themselves but not alone, makes them feel “special” because of my attention.

Others want my attention because I amply them/their energy. It can make me feel “used”, like a receptacle, and “fed on” in a way that exhausts me. In exchange, I process all their crap. It can make me want to retreat and say “just leave me alone!” Note: This is exactly how I feel!

My personal sun is in Gate 33 Retreat in the 6th line which is the most removed and aloof. 6th lines have a foot in the other world and are not into mundane BS. They need to retreat to process and take what was a weakness and turn it into a strength. This takes time.

Mid-Life – I’m getting near the last phase of the 3 phases of the 6th line, shifting from pessimism to optimism. Mid-Life can feel like a pane of glass is placed between me and the rest of the world. I can feel very disconnected or behind a wall. This is to give me room/time to rest, reflect, heal and recover. I’m meant to realign with True Self during this time.

Last Phase/Role Model – When I hit 50, and if I’ve rested and recovered properly, I get to step out into the world and be the Role Model. I will be a living demonstration of how to be in this world but not OF it.

Deconditioning – 1st phase is spitting out all the poison/bitterness. Over time, I will have less and less tolerance to the point of wanting to “run” from those things which make me feel wrong/bitter/uneasy. All Projectors realize at some point that we can’t hack it in a “normal” way. We can’t produce, work, be busy like Generators. We can’t win at this “normal thing”. Note: This happened to me in my late 30’s. I started to drop things one by one in order to manage life and feel more at ease.

Gate 1 & 2 are lit up in my G-Center – One is pure receptive, the other pure creative. She described it as “feminine and masculine depth”, I’m both yin and yang (receptive and penetrative) at my core.

Relationships – the foundation of relationship for me is empowerment, inspiration and creativity. I’m here to get inspired by my HS and share it with others. “Empowerment and creative connection to the Higher Self” is my purpose. I’m very “anti-mundane”. I need to “revel in my own beauty”. I’m naturally optimistic and naturally transmit this to others.

Gate 20 – Presence. I can be very checked out if I want to. If I feel that I don’t want to be with or around a person or in an environment then I need to leave or find a way to be alone.

Personality Sun – disassociation – the ability to let go and not be handicapped by consistent recriminations. I enjoy my own space so need to go to it when feeling any of the above feelings. It will feel like I just need to “get out”.

6th line can make me feel like part of me is pulled away from life. It pulls me away to heal and find a unique perspective. When I come back I can be a living example. For a 6th line is it detrimental to be a hypocrite. lol

Genius design Sun-Earth – the natural receptive genius.

1st line Earth – Venus exalted as beauty. “Love is Light” the grounding of my body is a frequency of love and light that emanates from me when in my correct frequency. To some I’m captivating, interesting and different and they try to hold onto me. They expect me to be the representative of the group. I have a compelling, undeniable, demanding voice and am here to speak its truth.

My Motivation is desire. I’m motivated by what I want. I spend the first two cycles of my life figuring out what I want and eventually I will know exactly what I want and go for it. When I don’t Know, I need to accept and not make any decisions until I do Know. The Not-Knowing is where creative potential and liberation take root. These can also be very empty times and very melancholic. The 1-8 Channel says, “I Know and I don’t Know”.

It goes something like this, “I don’t Know, I don’t Know, I don’t know….Oh! I Know! (go after it)” then it repeats but the “not Knowing” is much more frequent. Note: So true! I completely related to this!

Trajectory – Follower – I follow my own, unique path. Note: I was worried it meant I was a follower which does not feel right. I am relieved it means that I am independent and do my own thing because that is how I am!

Final Comments from Reader – I have the capacity to be an amazing guide if I don’t misidentify with others emotions. I am highly transpersonal. Over my lifetime I will become more and more aloof and cool. I don’t “sit in the realm of dense drama” like others do.

On Connection Themes

Connection chart of me and my mom. Theme 9-0 Nowhere to go.

In a previous post I had questions about the connection themes I was encountering when creating connection charts. This is what she told me:

They are rhymes that go with the number of defined centers in the relationship vs the undefined ones.

9-0 Nowhere to go – All 9 centers defined. A relationship that is compelling, the two people are in their “own world”, it’s difficult to get out of the relationship because of this. The mechanics of the connection hold it together in a consistent way (all nine centers are defined).

8-1 Have some fun – 8 defined centers and one undefined. The one undefined center acts as a window to the world where the two can look at the world together. Mechanics are strong enough to hold the relationship together but they have space to move.

After the two above, the other connections are not held together by the mechanics so more work is needed to keep the relationship together.

7-2 Work to do – I don’t recall what she said about this one but basically it was that the two had to work to keep the relationship going.

6-3 Better to be free – Expectations need to align. If they don’t, it will be hard to keep this relationship together.

5-4 Not in a relationship anymore – The only time there is a consistency to this relationship is “when the stars align”. Otherwise, the mechanics do not keep it together and the two easily drift apart.

Based upon my design nodes, I need consistency within a relationship. I need a certain amount of regularity of contact. So, the best relationship themes for me would be the first two because of the consistency inherent in them.

The first two themes require less work because the mechanics will hold the relationship together. I have a 9-0 with my mother and I find it is true. When together, we are in our own little world. I am also always drawn back to her. But then she IS my mother! lol

I’ve never had a romantic relationship with someone where our connection was 9-0 or 8-1, so I don’t know if it is true that they would be easier than the others. My guess, based upon my poor track record, is anything would be easier than 6-3 and 5-4!!

Other Thoughts

After my reading I was able to ask questions and soundboard a bit, which was nice. What was interesting was what I heard come out of my own mouth. When I said certain things, I felt energy and emotion in a wave and knew this was confirmation that what I was saying is my truth. This is a self-projected Projector thing. We need to soundboard and I so rarely get to speak to others in this way! Writing is a nice substitute but not the same.

I will likely have another session with the reader. She is a 5/1 Mental Projector and I felt very at ease with her. I mainly just need someone to listen so I can hear what comes out and take note of what feels true and what doesn’t. I have so few people that I can do this with. My mom is one and I was able to talk to her this weekend for quite some time. Another is a friend who is also a Projector but lives in another state. That is it. As a Hermit this is really not unusual, though.

I’m also considering taking the Living Your Design course next. Everything I have learned about HD resonates and continues to support my reality and how I experience life. Not even one detail I’ve learned about my design has felt off to me. That is unusual because even with all other spiritual tools I’ve encountered inconsistencies.

So, I’m jumping into deconditioning head first. Based upon what I learned in my reading, I’ve already begun spitting out the “venom”. lol

Dream Theme: Exploring Sexual Conditioning

Lately, I have been questioning Human Design, specifically the idea that certain aura types generate energy and others don’t. The idea that some auras don’t generate their own energy lends one to believe that those types then are “vampires of energy”, having to rely on generating types to have any energy at all. Otherwise, they are easily exhausted and unable to do much. I don’t believe this to be true.

As a non-energy type Projector, I’ve rarely if ever find myself exhausted like this when alone. Technically, since I don’t generate my own energy, I should be a total sloth or at best someone who is forcing herself to wake up and move around throughout the day. Yet, here I am, with plenty of energy, exercising 5 days a week, working full-time, cooking, cleaning, shopping, etc, and I still manage to have energy at the end of the day. Sure, I live with 4 Generating types, but they aren’t home with me 8 hours of each week day. So, how then, do I happen to have so much energy for all the tasks and things I do all day?

What I see in HD FB groups I’m in is young Projectors justifying their lack of energy because of their Type. They say, “I’m too tired” or “I just can’t exercise like I want, I just want to sleep.” Huh? I just don’t have that reality. “I can’t” usually only happens to me when I get sick and that is rare. I am always moving around and I find that I have extra energy – which, BTW, makes sense because I have so many Generating types around me. Exercise helps me process that energy and keeps me balanced.

I remember my Projector friend being tired often when we were young and she still seems to be like this. I never understood it. Why is she always so tired when I’m not if we are the same Type?

The most that happens to me when around too much activity/energy is I get grumpy and need to get away for a while. But, I am also a 2nd line, and this is common. I spend most of my time alone and am very particular about who I spend my time with. Is this why I am not tired? IDK.

When I was a teacher around kids and people all day, I ended up with major insomnia. This was from all the energy I picked up during the day. I just couldn’t release it all there was so much. Once I dropped full-time, that stopped. So, for me, the only downside is that I end up with too much energy and struggle to release it all.

I think, perhaps, people are just misunderstanding the idea of “energy type”. All auras create energy and have sufficient amounts to sustain the organism, otherwise we would be dead. lol My theory is that the Types in HD are referring more to how the aura functions than to how much energy a person has or is capable of generating. So then, yeah, Projectors would accumulate energy and need to release it, but this doesn’t mean they don’t have energy otherwise!

Okay, now to my crazy dreams.

Dreams with one theme last night. I also woke frequently and slept much lighter than I have been.

Dream: Escort Wagon

I’m inside a small house, or maybe a tiny house. When I think of the space, I think of a gypsy wagon or something similar. Yet at times, this small space is very large and resembled the inside of a modern home complete with large, spacious kitchen and floor to ceiling windows. I also know I’m in Montana (mountains, spiritual journey).

There is a discussion behind the dream scenes that I occasionally catch pieces of. There is enough information to recognize that I have been given an opportunity to select from a group of men the man I want to have as my sexual partner. It feels like someone has gifted me with a gigolo, or male escort, but I am undecided on whether to accept the gift or not. 

I recall being in a very nice kitchen (seeking nourishment, wisdom) with white, marble countertops, thinking specifically, “I don’t need a man. I can pleasure myself.” This is my strongest argument against taking advantage of the offered gift. I don’t see why I should bother with a man and all that goes along with one – their tendency to latch onto me and not let go, their expectations, their projections – all to curb my own desire. 

Then I am in the living room. I am aware of men in the space with me. I believe there are three, but I specifically see two. Somehow I know these men are “from Montana” and I take note of this in the dream. They both have full beards (masculinity) that are very bushy to the point that the hair covers so much of their faces as to obscure their facial features almost entirely (trying to hide something). One man is very confident and explaining to the other man the “job” of escort. He struts around me and the other man, shoulders back, chest high, proclaiming his vast expertise and knowledge of how to pleasure a woman. 

The other man remains quiet and his eyes are big. It is clear he is new to the job. He is happy to let the other man win. 

The whole time it feels like I am suppose to select one of the men to be my partner. 

The men in the house all begin to exit out the back door except the two standing in front of me. The over confident man chooses to take the dog outside for a walk. It feels like I direct him to do so but have no specific memory of this. I turn toward the window and locate the light switch (seeking illumination). There are three switches and I switch them on, one by one, to see which one illuminates the back yard. I am able to turn on lights that extend all the way back to the edge of the property. They are like flood lights but they only stay on a moment and then flicker off. I try to get them to come back on, but only get the front lights to illuminate. I say, “There must be something wrong with the electrical.” I see the man walking the dog outside and then turn back towards the other man.

I take the hand of the other man, the quiet one, and pull him towards me. I turn back to face the window as I wrap his arms around me, asking, “Are you nervous?” He is standing behind me, pulling me close, both of us facing the large windows. He says nothing. Instead tilts my head towards his own and gently kisses me. My lucidity must peak because I can feel and taste his mouth on mine (and I don’t feel a beard). He kisses me gently again and I hear him say (telepathically), “Let me try that again”. I feel my lower chakras begin to light up. 

Just as I begin to fall into the ecstasy of the moment, I am rudely pulled out of the dream by a guide asking, “Why did you choose him?” 

Conversation

Awake and a bit grumpy at the guide who intentionally pulled me out of a wonderful dream, I reluctantly answered his question. I said, “Because he is new to this. He is like me.” This answer came with a recognition of my feelings about the other man, the over confidant one. Though he likely would be the better lover because of his experience, his conceit was unattractive and I felt that if I selected him I would put myself at a disadvantage because I didn’t feel to be his equal. He would have total control and I would be completely at his mercy. To voluntarily put myself in such a situation would leave me vulnerable.

Yet, there was a part of me that was highly attracted to the over confident man and desired nothing more than to submit to him fully.

What is funny is that a scene from a nature show I saw long ago came to mind. It was about chimpanzees. The alpha male went around beating up the other males and having sex with all the females in front of the lower males to prove his dominance. Yet, when the alpha male was distracted, the females sought out the lesser males and had sex with them. lol 

I wondered just how much of my dream selection was based upon a similar pattern, engrained in my genetic makeup, that continues to play out. 

A discussion commenced on my rejection of the over confident man. I told my guidance that I didn’t trust that my feelings were my own. I cited my completely open solar plexus specifically. A completely open center means the person has no defined way of taking in information so they end up taking it in based upon those who are defined or have channels/gates to that center. The solar plexus is the emotion center. Since mine is completely open, the emotion I feel is fluid and has no definition at all. I amplify the emotion of others instead. So their feelings feel to be mine, but they aren’t. I can become easily confused by this, thinking I feel one way only to have that feeling completely vanish when I am not in the vicinity of that person. 

I told my guidance that I feel I have no real emotion because of this openness and they said otherwise. They asked me to think of how I feel when alone. I mostly just feel bored, but I do experience a wide range of feelings like anyone else. And if no one is near me, these feelings must originate from me. However, they can become what I think I should feel (Not-Self) based upon conditioning over the years, especially since I have a completely open head center. The completely open head center seeks to find meaning in everything. So I feel something and think, “It must mean ____” rather than just letting the feeling flow naturally without any conditions attached to it. Then I have a completely open heart center that causes me to feel no motivation or desire toward any one thing. So I think, “I feel ____ so it must mean ____ and I should do _____.” This is my mind and not my strategy and authority BTW.

Lots to think about. lol

Now wide awake with a persistent guide that continued to ask me to review the dream, it took me a while to return to sleep. 

Dream: Male Escorts

It seems the dream lesson was meant to continue. This time, though, I found myself at my mom’s house and my old bedroom. I was feeling very sexual and wishing I had a partner but preferred one that came with no strings attached. My consideration was still that I needed to be very careful because the men I’ve been with in this life tend to latch on for dear life. 

Again, I was talking to someone behind the scenes and a male escort was suggested because there would be no strings attached. I found an advertisement in a magazine and called the number. A man answered and I told him what I wanted, though I was somewhat embarrassed when I said it aloud. 

Within moments three men were in my bedroom with me, yet I was still talking to the main one on the phone. I was hesitant yet again, arguing that I could easily pleasure myself. “I don’t need a man”, was what I said/thought. This mirrors my thoughts in real time, too, as my experiences with men has left me preferring to leave them out of the act altogether. 

This is when the three men began to send me images of what they could do for me and began to sway my decision toward inviting them to join me. The overall message was “the more the better” in terms of pleasure. 

I remember being more curious about one of the men over the other two. He was a normal looking man (no beard this time lol) and I didn’t recognize him but then there was something familiar about him. I seemed to know he was there for a reason and memories of other times I’ve had dream encounters came to mind. I met my heart connection in the dreamstate over a year before I met him online. And another connection came in my dreams beforehand, also. Both times there was recognition – Knowing – that the men were not just dream characters but an aspect of a living, breathing person visiting me. And in this dream that same recognition was present. This man exists somewhere in the world and is visiting my dreams. Whether he is conscious of it or not, I can’t say. 

There was still a discussion on-going behind the scenes. It was about my attitudes and beliefs regarding sex; what is “good” and “bad”, etc. There was shame behind the sexual visuals I was receiving. Shame at how they made me feel because I have been conditioned to think of desire as “bad” and “sinful”. I remember thinking it important that protection be used and being reassured protection would be provided.

Eventually, I hung up the phone but not before the man I kept feeling drawn to asked me for my credit card information and address. I was concerned that he would misuse the info, but someone reassured me that he could be trusted, so I gave it. He looked at me in such a way as I began to panic a bit because I saw/felt something in him. It was a feeling I’ve had before from a dream encounter. It was an, “Oh no” feeling. Yet when he left, I had this urge to follow him.

I ended up outside my bedroom standing in the kitchen. I found some people having dinner together. One lady looked at me and asked me something but my attention was on the two young men with her. I saw one go out the front door. The other was at the table. The feeling I got was that I didn’t belong there and these people were suspicious of me. It is a feeling I am use to.

More Discussion

When I woke I was concerned about the man I met in my dream and still had that “uh oh” feeling. My guidance wanted to talk about something else, though. 

The discussion shifted to my environment specifically. They said, “We want to help you with your space.” I received much more telepathically about what they meant. They indicated that I needed to feel safe in my space and reminded me of my Human Design environment – Markets-Internal. Though I have created my own space, I do not feel safe in it. I don’t feel I have much control over who enters or leaves it. On top of this, I rarely if ever invite anyone into my space. A person with Markets-Internal thrives when they have a space of their own and invite others into it, others with similar interests to their own. The space becomes a safe place where ideas and knowledge are exchanged. 

I was immediately reminded of my place in Denton, the place where I first practiced as a Psychic/Medium. I lived there alone with my dog but the living area was arranged to create a space for me to give readings. I had many, many people come into my home and receive readings and healing from me. I also worked part-time from a spiritual shop and had my own little space there where people came to me for readings. 

The thing is, I rarely invite people into my space, not socially anyway. I can’t see how inviting people would work for me anyway. As a Projector, my job is the wait to be invited, not initiate. Additionally, I am part Hermit, so I don’t like people in my space, at least not just any people. I have to know and trust them. 

It is interesting, though, how all the right people and situations just came to me. This was because I was in the correct environment. I know that now. Invitations come more readily when in the correct environment. 

It is obvious that I am not in the correct environment now. 

My guidance told me, “Don’t worry. We will help you.” But I felt somewhat hopeless. A song came to mind, though, which feels like reassurance.

Messages: “Don’t give up” and you’ve “got stamina”. 😉

Human Design Primary Health System (PHS)

As I continue to explore Human Design connections, some important information is arising, information that I feel is relevant to my life path. My most recent exploration has been into the PHS – Primary Health System. This is the part of HD that has long fascinated me because it directs an individual toward their proper environment. When someone is residing within their proper environment, resistance is removed, the body is healed and they are better able to follow their strategy and authority. When I read about these benefits, I wanted them! Wouldn’t you?

So, I will now share what I’ve recently learned about the PHS. I will try and be as detailed as I can, but if you are just beginning to learn about HD, you may be missing foundation information that is needed to understand and apply what I am about to share.

PHS

The top, left arrow on your HD chart (which you can get at GeneticMatrix.com) is where you find the component of the PHS. You will want to go to your Body view rather than the Quantum view that is the default (see below). The Body chart often times indicates you are a different type than your Quantum chart but don’t be concerned if it is. The Body chart is showing what profile type your body is. The Body chart is where the info for the PHS lies.

So, my body type is Reflector, which is typical for Projectors.

From here, the focus is on the information listed under Body. It lists the following on my chart:

Brain: Passive
Determinism: Nervous
Cognition: Inner Vision
Environment: Markets – Internal
Environmental Style – Observed

First, focus on Determinism (color) and Cognition (tone).

Before I get into color and tone, I want you to look a the first arrow on my chart (has a big R with two 4’s underneath). These specifically align with the PHS and what I am about to share with you.

Determinism = Color = Digestion (of both food and information), tends to be where we hold deep conditioning.

Six types

#1: Appetite – two kinds: Consecutive and Alternating. These people need to eat bland foods. Consecutive peeps need to eat foods one at a time (no eating a bite of fish followed by a bite of potato). This type is the most primitive and restrictive digestion type. Think “caveman” diet. Similarly, when digesting information, you need to take in information little by little and one/or one subject/topic at a time; otherwise you could easily overwhelm yourself

#2: Taste – two kinds: Closed and Open. These people need to eat the same foods over and over again. Eat habitually and with a routine. The Open type tends to do well sharing food with others. Seasonal foods are okay, but the keyword here is “habitual”. If it is information, then these people digest information in the same pattern or way. They have habits and a routine they follow.

#3: Thirst – two kinds Hot and Cold. Hot – eat foods warmer than body temperature. Cold – eat food cooler than body temperature. Can also use Ayurveda. For information, the temperature is key. Too cold for those who are Hot and you will struggle to take in new information. Same goes for those with the Cold type.

#4: Touch – two kinds Calm and Nervous. These people need to prepare for digestion. Calm people need calm to digest. Eating alone is good for them. Nervous people need action to digest – with other people, with TV or radio, while talking/socializing, in public, or moving around (driving, walking, fidgeting). *Nervous is my color/determinism (#4) and I can verify this eating and learning environment works best for me. For example, I use to do my homework while sitting in front of the TV.

#5: Sound – High and Low. All about the amount of noise when digesting (food or info). High need sound (turn on the music). Low need quiet (put in those noise cancelling earbuds). High needs to eat frequently (or study repetitively over a longer time). Low needs to eat less (or cram for that test!). A High person may snack all day. A Low person may eat one time all day.

#6: Light – Direct and Indirect. This is the most sensitive type. Direct peeps need to digest (study/eat) during the daylight hours (not after dark). Indirect peeps need to digest at night (not during the day). *My husband is Indirect and tends to be a nighttime eater. I told him he needs to practice intermittent fasting during the day. He practically does this anyway.

Tone – Cognition – How you connect with the world
Note: Our Authority taps into Tone to help us become aware of what is good/bad for us.

#1: Security – Smell – Splenic (fear/survival oriented). These people need to “smell out” what is correct or incorrect for them. They are good at recognizing and are protective types, they do not like the new/unexpected, they tend to store memories well, they investigate to be aware of threats.

#2: Uncertainty – Taste – Splenic. High awareness of the world, recognize something new the moment it emerges, they like to experiment, they want to “taste life”.

#3: Action – Outer Vision – Ajna (third-eye, intuition). Strategic outer vision, they rely on their physical eyes, where the Not-Self mind comes from, they are fully aware of the world and are taking steps to control it.

#4: Meditation – Inner Vision – Ajna. Theirs is a sensory world. They take in information via their third-eye (intuition). Outer vision may confuse them. Do not rely on outer vision/physical eyes but trust their inner eyes. *This is my cognition/tone and it is very true for me. What I see within is what I go with regardless of what the outer world view is.

#5: Judgment – Feeling – Solar Plexus. Empathy is your super power. These people go on how something feels to them. Feeling is their compass.

#6: Acceptance – Touch – Solar Plexus. These are the touchy feely peeps. They need to touch the world. If uncertain, touch it.

If you go back to my chart and those two 4’s, you can see that my tone/color #’s correspond to those numbers. I am #4 color and #4 tone. 🙂

Environment – Ideal place to work/live

6 Types

1.Caves – Selective or Blending. All about feeling safe and secure in their space. These are very private people. Selective seek to control their environment more than Blending. This doesn’t mean you need to live in an actual cave, but your space may feel or look similar. One entrance/exit, dark or closed off, need to see who comes in, need preparation for visitors. Avoid sleeping/sitting with back to the door.

2. Market – Internal or External. These people thrive in a busy place. External needs to be in an active or busy space such as an office environment with open theme and lots going on. Internal invites people into their own space such as work-from-home, internet business, studio, gallery. *Markets-Internal is my environment and is accurate for me. I work from home now but also use to invite people into my space when I did readings.

3. Kitchen – Wet or Dry. This is a place of production. Can be an actual kitchen, too, but mainly somewhere things are “prepared” or “created”. Wet means tropical or green. Dry means dessert or arid. If you can’t be in a Wet or Dry area, you can put wet or dry plants in your actual kitchen or “creative” space. *My husband is Kitchens-Dry. He is all about production in his life and we live in a semi-arid location now but he use to live in New Mexico (desert).

4. Mountains – Active or Passive. This is all about perspective. These peeps need to see from “above”. Active means be/live in an actual higher elevation (high-rise, second story house). Passive is on a mountain top or plateau, natural setting.

5. Valleys – Narrow or Wide. This person does well lower in elevation (opposite of Mountains). They need to be “in” the thick of things, where the information flows. Narrow means less space around them and Wide means more space around them. It can be in an actual valley or in a space where information is flowing.

6. Shores – Natural or Artificial. Natural need to be around natural bodies of water. Artificial near man-made bodies of water. If you can’t be near either, then being between two kinds of environments will suffice (between city and country for example). Ideally be near water. Work/live near fountain if Artificial. Work/live near lake, ocean, river if Natural.

For Projectors

In general, Projectors need to eat small meals throughout the day (or night if you are that color). This is because they tend to digest more slowly because they don’t generate their own energy.

Projectors may be prone to over-eating because of their tendency to be conditioned via all their open centers.

There is a tendency to not need as much protein (carb lovers). Higher carb diets may work for you.

These are just general guidelines, though. Always follow your Strategy/Authority. Eat what you feel drawn to. Don’t eat what repels you.

Human Design Connections – Part 2

This post is going to focus more on the connection charts I have done thus far. I will share some of the charts as well as the information I learned along the way.

Connection Charts I have created so far:
Family
Husband
Ex Husband
Children – all three
Mother
Significant people of interest to me

Below is my family chart. Lots of information but the main part I focus on is the aura theme which is Hierarchical Tension. My guess is that this theme indicates that individuals in the family do not have clearly defined roles and so frequently question the roles of other family members and step on one another’s toes in the process. This feels like an accurate theme to me! I find it interesting that our group is missing “future” and “discovery”. I wonder what significance this has?

The next chart is my connection with my husband. The center chart is our combined energy. Below the chart are the connection channels.

Definitions of the connection channels for your reference:

Compromise channel – when one person has an entire channel, and the other person has only one gate. Creates a natural push and pull dynamic. One person will always have the entire channel and will naturally try to pull the person with one gate into their energy.
Dominance channel – when one person has an entire channel and the other person is undefined in that channel. When together, the person with the dominance channel will naturally condition the other person by lending their defined energy.
Friendship channel – the two have the same defined channel(s). This can make this aspect of the other seem uninteresting because it is shared.
Attraction channel – both individuals have half a gate that when together form a complete one (50-50). Together, these two gates activate the third energy of the channel. Attraction channels are literally like a spark that occurs when the two people come together. Attraction channels create an intense magnetism between two people, particularly at first. Source

Our connection theme is: “Not in a relationship anymore”. LOL I am still laughing at this because it feels accurate. My understanding is that we get along best when we put aside our ideas and expectations about our relationship and what a relationship is/means and connect as friends would. When we operate under the idea of being in a romantic relationship problems arise (frequently).

This next chart is the data chart for my connection with my husband. Please go to this link for an explanation of the sections of this chart.

Based upon the data, my husband and I are not a very good match. While we do have a fairly good mind to planet to crystal resonance and our mind base orientation matches up exactly, the view to crystal resonance is not a good indicator. Basically, what we have is not a “soul mate” connection. Our environments also don’t match up well, but this is a minor issue and because I am Markets – Internal, I can pretty much be/live anywhere as long as I don’t feel penned in and can create a space where I can invite others to join me.

In contrast to the above chart, here is another connection data chart that shows a soul mate connection (quite to my surprise). See the two green arrows? This is a GOOD thing. Additionally, the mind base orientation and mind planet to crystal resonance indicate a good connection. The theme is also promising – Have some fun! (not on this chart but the original not shown). Since I have family who I have this theme with, I know how it feels and plays out, and it is a good theme to have.

The reason I am surprised by this chart is, of all the connections charts I created, this is the one for a profile type that typically does not match up with my own (5/1). So, toss out the profile matches list I guess.

I won’t share all the other connection charts because it would make this post way too long. Instead, I will summarize them.

Me and Ex Husband
Theme: Better to be free (lol)
View to crystal – both red (not soul mate connection)
Mind base – both focused
Mind planet to crystal resonance – moon, Venus, Mercury (me)
Environmental – red (not good) He is Kitchens and I am Markets

Me and Mom
Theme: Nowhere to go.
View to crystal – both red
Mind base – both focused
Mind planet to crystal resonance – Mars, Uranus, Mercury (me)
Environmental – red (not good) She is caves and I am Markets

Me and my Daughter
Theme: Have some fun!
View to crystal – both red
Mind base – binary separation (daughter), focused (me)
Mind planet to crystal resonance – Uranus, Venus (me)
Environmental – red (not good) She is Kitchens and I am Markets

Me and my Oldest Son
Theme: Work to do.
View to crystal – one blue, one red (fair)
Mind base – binary (him), focused (me)
Mind planet to crystal resonance – moon, Pluto, Mercury (me)
Environmental – green, we are both Markets-Internal

Me and my Youngest Son
Theme: Have some fun!
View to crystal – both red
Mind base – binary (him), focused (me)
Mind planet to crystal resonance – Jupiter, Saturn, Venus (me)
Environmental – green, he is Markets – External, I am Markets – Internal

Me and Connection R
Theme: Not in a relationship anymore (lol – true!)
View to crystal – one green, one red (half soul mate? lol)
Mind base – both focused
Mind planet to crystal resonance – Saturn, Uranus (me)
Environmental – red (not good) He is Mountains and I am Markets

And finally, just to see how it changed the family aura theme, I did a family chart for me and the kids (minus their dad). This is what the result was:

The theme changed to: Secure at Home. This feels accurate. My husband is frequently away on business trips. When he is gone, the energy shift is dramatic. The tension goes away. Me and the kids get along well and there is a kind of peace that falls over the house. Even my daughter, who tends to be the loudest of the group, is calmer, more interactive and less likely to hide away in her room.

I did do a chart of just the kids and their dad and the theme is also “secure at home”. I’m not surprised. The main difference is that the missing groups goes to three instead of two. With him the missing groups are future, tradition and discovery.

One Month – Want a Chart?

I have one month to play with the Genetic Matrix pro account. If you would like me to create a connection chart for you, let me know. I won’t charge for this service because I am learning and exploring, which to me is reward enough! In order to get a chart, though, I need the following information for each individual: name (initials is fine) birth date, time of birth, birth location (city/state/country).

If you don’t know location and time you can provide an approximate but I can’t guarantee accuracy. What I have found is that if the location is within the same latitude/longitude area (for example, birth city unknown, but state is) then it won’t be an issue. The same goes with time as long as you have an approximate time (for example, born in the late morning but not sure exact time, then putting 10am will likely be sufficient).

Even with the charts I have created, I forgot my mom’s birth time but I had her previous chart so played around with the time until the charts matched. And with one of my connections I did the same because I knew he was a 3/5 Pure Generator from a previous chart (which I don’t have now) and only a certain time of day on his birth date matched that profile type.

Don’t be shy. If you are curious, send me an email via my contact form. The date this offer will end is 5/31/21.

Featured image is my connection chart with my mother. This is the only connection I have (that I know of) where together, all centers are defined. Pretty awesome, IMO.

Human Design Connections – Part 1

Yesterday I decided to take the plunge and get a one month pro subscription to Genetic Matrix. Genetic Matrix allows you to create charts and the pro subscription gives you all the options to include connection charts, sleep charts, family charts – even pet charts! As you can imagine, I’ve been having a blast because I so enjoy learning new things.

My Human Design

So much information to share! To some of you this will be a bit over your heads (and for me, too!) but it is still fascinating to me, so I wanted to share and provide you with what I have deciphered for myself thus far. I will include my intuitive takes, also, because, for me, I operate via my Knowing and then use the information to validate that Knowing.

From my notes:

Body: 6/2 Reflector

I resonate more with the Reflector profile than Projector because of all my open centers. Turns out I am not wrong and have many qualities of a Reflector.

Environment: Markets – Internal
Someone who loves their work. So, when they find a job they enjoy it feels regenerative. Ideal work is: long-distance without a daily commute, over the internet, varies day-to-day. Needs to move about frequently regardless of where they are.

My considerations regarding environment/work: When I met my current husband I was at my second Body, Mind, Spirit Expo. I gave a lecture on Spirit Guides and was having a very successful weekend. At the time my idea was to do more expos across the state, slowly expanding until I was doing them across the U.S. It never happened because I chose to be with my husband and have a family. I now realize that at the time, I was following my Strategy and Authority, being pulled toward the type of work that suited me best in my ideal environment!

Current job is work-from-home. It is via the internet and gives me the freedom I need; however, it is not work I enjoy so it is not necessarily regenerative.

I am being observed in my environment rather than being the observer.

Environmental Theme: Hardscapes – Urban

Environmental Transference – Valleys – Narrow <—– Not-Self environment, the individual will often feel good here but in reality this environment is detrimental to their well-being. My reaction – I laughed because I was certain my environment was somewhere with lots of open space and thought of where my mom currently lives (in a valley). Of course I would think where my family resides would be good for me. Not so!

Market Environment: The Market theme is all about being selective about who/what is allowed into my life.

External Markets are bustling environments with a lot of people, and exchange of money/commerce, communication, and information. What makes the External Market special is that the individual with this Environment typically heads into the Market with a specific goal in mind – to buy a certain thing, find a certain person, etc. So, an ideal Market Environment would be one where the individual is benefitting from their exchanges with others, but they are very discerning about who they are interacting with to make sure they are getting what they want.

The Internal Market (my environment) is also a space of exchange – goods, information, energy. However, the Internal Market is an indoor or enclosed space that has been created so that the person with this Environment in their chart can invite people into their sacred space to congregate, exchange, and gather. These will be people that all share a common interest or goal. Source

Example Charts

Date of Uranus Opposition – 6 May 2019, 3/5 Emotional Manifesting Generator, Right Angle Cross (RAX) of the Sphinx

You are here to follow your own lead and be in the moment. You are transfixed by the now and your way of doing things. This self absorption is your individual contribution to the world. While it is not your intention to give others direction, you do. By following your heart and doing your own expressive thing, others can find direction through your example and will follow. Do your own thing and make sure it is your passion to your core. Source

Date of Chiron Return – 16 May 2027, 2/4 Emotional Projector, RAX Contagion 2

The energy of your Cross is to be a contributor through your individual effort. Your passion and expression of excitement is contagious and inspires others to follow your lead This energy means it is unlikely you will be the follower of others, at least not all the way. At some point, you will step out on your own to break new ground. When you do, it creates the energy for others to latch on to your ideas and catch the wave.

Sleep type – Reflector, no Earth plane

Example (below): Sleep Connection chart, me and my ex. I slept well with him in general, but every time he moved or made a sound I woke up. I struggled to fall asleep, which is common for me (Projectors have this issue because we have to release all the energy we’ve stored up from the day). I was taking antidepressants most of our relationship so I slept better and more deeply during this time. He also wasn’t home often so we slept apart quite a bit.

Considerations regarding sleep connections – Ex and current husband also Reflectors during sleep, but both have Earth plane. Wondering if this contributes to my difficulty sleeping with them? What my research indicates is that if both have a defined sacral then this would contribute to difficulty sleeping with them. When together, the sacral is highlighted, so perhaps this indicates the “why”.

Below are some more example charts to give you an idea of just how much you can on Genetic Matrix:

Foundation Keyword Chart, Gene Keys Chart, Foundation Chart – Godhead

In Part 2 I will go over specific connection charts to include family and individual relationships with partners (past and present), friends and my children.

Post featured image is my Life Cycle chart which clearly shows the three life stages of the 6/2, Role Model Hermit. The last phase begins at my Chiron Return and you can see that the 2/4 Emotional Projector type is listed. I am currently in the middle section, a 3/5 Emotional Manifesting Generator (gawd, no wonder!). lol See above Uranus Opposition chart for proof.

***I am exploring Human Design and learning through experimentation so the information in this post may not be completely accurate. Please feel free to correct any of my misconceptions if you are more familiar with HD.