2 OBEs and More Tears

Today the repairman is returning to finish the repairs on my broken refrigerator. He needs to replace the heater and thermostat so it doesn’t freeze up again. When he left last Friday he asked me to unplugged the fridge 8 hours before his arrival today at 9am. That meant either turning it off before bed or waking in the night to do it. I opted to wake during the night. Prior to bed I asked for more clarification as to what is going on with me. Still feel unsure of this “process” I am going through.

I meant to wake at midnight using my internal clock but ended up waking at 2:30am instead. After unplugging the fridge I was wide awake and it took me some time to settle down. I should have known I would end up going OOB, but I didn’t ask to do so.

OBE: Visit From MIL

I vaguely recall rising up from my body in bed and traveling downstairs to the kitchen. I was not fully lucid when I did so and believed I was awake repeating the steps I’d taken earlier in the night. When I got to the kitchen I saw that someone had been there and plugged the refrigerator back in. This upset me and I tried to figure out what had happened. I noticed some things laying here and there (bags and such) indicating that my mother-in-law had paid us a visit after we all went to bed. This isn’t uncommon for her so made sense. She often leaves us loaves of bread and other groceries for the kids and will clean up the kitchen if she has the energy.

I turned toward the living room still upset over the fridge but I never unplugged it. Instead I noticed there was an opening in the living area where normally the fireplace would be. Another entire room extended for many feet and the floors of both were carpeted. Instantly I knew something wasn’t right and said to myself, “This is a dream”.

Nothing about the feel of my energy body or the dream really changed after this realization. I already had my full perceptions but had just not been focused on them. My vision was the one I was most focused on at the time anyway. It brightened slightly and I decided to explore this new section of my house.

I floated into the new space and noticed someone sitting in a chair facing away from me. I recognized my MIL and went up to her. Facing her confirmed it was her and I remember speaking to her but she just stared at me zombie-like. I remember saying, “Wake up! You’re asleep!” She didn’t respond, just stared into the distance as if preoccupied with something else. My last thought before returning to my body was that she looked so similar to what she looked like in waking life.

When I came back into my body it was ablaze with a comforting energy. I was surprised I had gone OOB and amused that my preoccupation with the coming appointment and refrigerator had been the focus of the OBE. All I wanted was to get some much needed sleep so I turned to my side and drifted off.

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OBE: NOKEY

Again, not fully lucid, I walked into a gym (apply what has been learned) that was familiar. Inside things had been moved and the equipment that was there before was mostly gone. I noticed people standing on circles (cycles, repetition) painted on the floor. They were spaced as if in some kind of grid and all facing in the same direction. Not letting this bother me, I went toward the dumbbell rack but did not use any of them. Instead I was holding onto what resembled black, weighted handcuffs (feeling held back, trapped). I was talking to someone doing exercises with them but can’t recall what I was saying.

A man approached me and asked me when I would be done. I remember being irritated at him but finishing quickly. When I got up I sat in a chair and got out a computer (information). On it I could see the entire layout of the building. Circles represented each person and they moved like chess pieces (loss of control).

A man sitting next to me spoke to me about the ceremony that was going on. One of the owners of the gym was retiring (transitioning, endings) and they were setting up for a celebration. I saw the owner as he walked in. He was graying and had a pleasant face and energy. Someone asked me to put away my computer, so I did, opting to get out my phone which was the size of a tablet. The man had mentioned a word that sounded like Jockey – NOKEY – so I did a Google search for it. The results showed information about baseball (contentedness and peace of mind) and I saw a large 15% that took up my entire tablet.

A woman rudely interrupted me telling me I had some nerve still using my cell phone when the celebration was about to begin. She demanded I leave, saying I had broken the rules and was no longer allowed inside. I stood up and told her it was fine and that I wasn’t a member anyway and had just come in to check it out but found it changed and unusable. I was just as rude to her as she was to me.

She followed me outside. Her demeanor changed when we were alone and she turned more friendly, apologizing for the changes and asking me for suggestions to improve it. She asked me what gym I frequented that I liked. I thought about it and said, “Lifetime Fitness” (which is a gym in real life but one I’ve never been to). Something about saying this brought me into full lucidity and the word “lifetime” echoed in my mind.

I turned and walked away. When I looked to where I was heading I saw beautiful green hills and a vast, sparkling lake. There were people here and there seemingly floating across the fields and water. The sky was brilliant with a rising sun whose rays were illuminating everyone with a silvery sheen. The whole scene sparkled like a million jewels.

I noticed a man was with me at this time. It was like the woman had morphed into a man. He remained with me and spoke with me for the remainder of the experience.

I stopped, filled with awe and said, “It is SO beautiful!” My heart began to overflow and I burst into tears. The scene changed and I could tell I was shifting away from it. In front of my eyes gray clouds floated in and covered the brilliant landscape. Tears poured out of my eyes, my body shuddered with intense vibrations and my heart stung.

In the in-between I lingered for some time. I could sense the presence of someone to my right. The vibrations were still strong and hypnagogic images of millions of tiny, yellow circles flooded my vision, pulsating and breathing in unison. I was still crying, my heart inundated with energy and my entire body pulsing and vibrating. My tears were a mixture of joy and grief. I understood the messages from the OBE and the male presence acknowledged this.

He said to me, “I’ve loved you for a long time.” It reminded me of the song that had been sung to me only a few nights prior: “Don’t you know I’m in love with you. I will be with you for a long time”.

I asked him who he was and the name “Chris” came to mind. Not recognizing the name I just allowed the comforting vibrations to wash over me. He spoke to me at some length about my sadness and exhaustion, telling me, “We will help you” and “It will be okay”. Throughout his messages tears would erupt sporadically. He said that my grief must be experienced and not suppressed.

At one point there was a brilliant circle of light that I identified as a full moon. It got so large that it took up my entire vision and it seemed to intensify the vibrations. Eventually I realized it was not the moon at all but a giant light. I had seen it before while OOB and usually it is associated with E.T.s.

While we communicated two songs came into my mind. The first was the song, All of Me and the specific part I heard over and over was, “My head’s under water but I’m breathing fine. You’re crazy and I’m out of mind. ‘Cause all of me loves all of you……’Cause I give you all of me and you give me all of you.”

The other song was Hold My Hand. “I’m ready for this” repeating over and over.

It didn’t take long for me to understand the second OBE. The messages were obvious. The scene at the gym is me being tired of repetitive cycles, feeling trapped by them and looking for a way to end them. The NOKEY word is actually – No Key – no admittance, no entry, no access. I can’t go where I wish to go. The 15% is still a mystery. I suspect it may indicate my “battery” level, how far I’ve come or where I am at currently in whatever this process is. Maybe I am 15% way through a process that will bring me peace and contentedness? The “Lifetime” reference is to this lifetime.

There was a hell of a lot of energy swirling around me after the last OBE. The entire experience left me unable to return to sleep. I have no idea who this “Chris” person is, either. He was on my right, which suggests he is not a guide. My guides are typically to my left. His messages indicate he knows me, loves me and wants to help. I did not feel any particular connection to him, though.

My considerations now after these experiences are that I refuse to read anything into any of it, no matter how profound. Even if my heart blasts open again and the bliss is all encompassing there will be no reaction or longing or hope this time because I know how destructive the after-effects are. To attach to the feeling is destructive and I don’t think I can survive another round. I pray God spares me from ever feeling it again.

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Gnomes, Hurricanes and Dreamwork

Things are finally settling down here after several days of crazy up’s and down’s. My joke has been that our family garden gnome has been wreaking havoc on our household. 🙂 Anytime strange, unexpected or unexplained things occur the gnome is who I blame. I tell my kids he sneaks out of his potted plant and wreaks havoc on our household while we sleep. They enjoy the laugh, as do I, and it helps relieve tension and make light of things. He’s like our Elf on the Shelf only he can come out anytime, any day, not just at Christmas.

So what has our little gnome been up to lately? First, my husband left for Clearwater on the 6th despite knowing Hurricane Irma was heading straight for Florida. I tried to get him to cancel his flight but he insisted saying it was unlikely he would be affected. Since he has left he has since realized he will likely be in it’s path. The last information he gave me was that his hotel was sandbagging and taping windows in preparation. He is in a voluntary evacuation zone and his hotel is one of the designated shelters. He will be staying to ride out the storm. If they insist he evacuate he will likely head north to Georgia and stay with his aunt and uncle.

Then, the morning of the 8th, sleep still in my eyes, I was pouring milk into my middle son’s cereal and clumps rather than milk came out. Ick! Spoiled. Okay. So out came the other gallon of milk. Lumps. Ugh! Neither was set to expire until the 18th of September so I knew something was up. My husband had mentioned he thought the fridge felt warmer a few days before and I hadn’t noticed. So I went to check and sure enough it felt very warm. Crap!

The milk went down the sink, the kids went without cereal and I put ice cubes in the fridge since the freezer was still good and cold. I spent the rest of the morning looking for a repairman. Thankfully I found one but not after several early morning phone calls.

The whole day I felt off, as if the other shoe would drop any minute. When the repairman arrived he located the problem right away and went to defrosting the freezer. As he was leaving we were talking, me relieved the issue was resolved. I said, “Well it could have been worse. Our a/c could’ve gone out.”

Later I went upstairs and found the a/c thermostat was offline. It was an error message I hadn’t seen. When I saw it and it was unresponsive my heart sank and the words I had just said echoed in my head. I had to call the thermostat company and go through all kinds of steps to see if I could resolve the issue, even calling my BIL in to help. By this time it was near 9pm and I was exhausted. I ended up bursting into tears because the day had just worn me out. The a/c issue was not resolved, it was not the thermostat but we were too tired to try and figure it out. Thankfully the cool front meant the a/c was not needed while we slept. My guidance was saying to me, “Don’t worry” sending me calming waves of energy that I listened to. I could feel the issue would resolve but despite this I could not help but be overwhelmed from everything that had happened that day.

When I woke the next morning the thermostat was miraculously on but set to “heat”. I adjusted it and it showed no issue – like nothing had ever happened. I was suspicious. The night before I had called the company that installed the a/c and made an appointment. I decided to keep it. When the repairman arrived he said the drain had clogged, switching the unit off. Turns out a clogged bathroom sink was the culprit! Stupid gnome! lol 😉

Now maybe all of the above is just normal and I shouldn’t have gotten upset, and honestly I normally wouldn’t, but for some reason that day did me in. I kept thinking about my husband being gone and so maybe on a subconscious level concern for his well-being was seeping in. There were, however, other issues bubbling up in dreamtime around the same time that likely were affecting me, too.

Dream: Dissed

I was standing in a crowded room wearing a white, no-frills wedding dress. I do not recall seeing or even looking at the groom but he was there. In front of me was our minister who was a female and very nice. There were many unknown people – friends – in attendance, but it was a small crowd. The time for the ceremony was quickly approaching but my mom was still not there, neither was the rest of my family. The minister urged me to continue anyway. It was 1pm and that was when the ceremony was suppose to start. Yet I was against it, wanting to wait. She told me the storm likely caused traffic jams and that they may not get through for hours. I asked if they could wait. She said she could.

I borrowed a cell phone and called my mom’s number. My older sister picked up. I could hear sounds of water and splashing in the background and knew they had opted to stay and swim rather than attend. I pushed it out of my mind hoping there was another explanation. I seemed to wait forever for my mom to get on the line. The longer she made me wait, the more sure I was that she was purposefully not coming to the wedding. I recall seeing an old family friend of my mom’s enter the church at the time and found it odd that she would be there but not my own mother.

When my mom finally did get on the line she was not very communicative. I asked her if she was coming saying, “We’ve been waiting for you!” She said she wasn’t coming. She didn’t say much else, communicating most without words that she was not in agreement with my marriage. I suddenly knew all that had transpired and why she was being so awful. She had allowed my sister and her family to live with them for many years. As a result I had not visited as often and so my mom had some resentment for that. At some point I had divorced my husband and met another man and my mom was not in agreement with how I handled the situation. I had been in love with another man while married and though I handled it appropriately and did not wander from my marriage, she didn’t like the new man nor did she like that I left my family/husband. So she was purposefully boycotting my wedding.

Sadness swept over me when I realized she was not coming and doing it on purpose. I felt cut off and abandoned. At the same time I had a “let her go” feeling that was stronger than my wanting to attack or defend myself and/or my actions to her, become bitter/vengeful or try to get her to understand. I hung up the phone and let the situation go but the feeling of sadness didn’t go away.

I woke up, eyes still closed, surprised and not knowing where I was or who I was for a moment. I searched in my mind for a focal point that made sense, a memory of date/time/location. What I recall of this time is seeing flashes of yellow tinged “memories”, like I was traveling along a memory path. I found a memory linked to this life and when I opened my eyes I wondered what I had just seen. It felt like a premonition.

Dream: Disturbing Facial

In this dream I had gone to get a facial. The women giving it to me seemed nice and I was making conversation. She had a peculiar look about her and I was curious. She was giving me a facial of some sort and I remember after it was over asking her about herself and her being quite closed mouthed. She made it seem like she was not allowed. She looked like she may have been a transgendered person because though she appeared feminine she had short hair and some masculine qualities. She had gotten her breasts done and was showing them to me through her clothing. This caused me to be more curious but she would not let me get too close and always backed away from me.

I left and when I returned at another time I found some suspicious activity going on in the same place. There were men with tattoos who seemed menacing and they were asking me if I wanted some of their “services”. The feeling was it involved drugs and sex but there was no evidence.

When I returned again there was a man passed out on the floor who had been given a drug of some sort. I watched them do the same with another man, tempting him with some large, green drink that caused him to immediately pass out after he drank it. The man had hundreds of dollars in his pockets but they didn’t steal it. Instead they stood staring at him and laughing.

That was when they took me and had me lay down on a table. They showed me some “ingredients” to make feces – a white, crumbly clay was one of them and some dark soil as well. They took the mixture and shoved it down my throat asking me how it felt/tasted. I immediately got up and retched, coughing it out and then asking for water to wash out my mouth. I had to swish water around in my mouth several times but could not get rid of the grit left from the mixture. The men were laughing at me.

I left in a hurry and brought back someone to show them what was going on. When we got there they had cleaned out the room and it was empty and spotless.

I ended up at my mom’s making myself lunch and getting ready to head to school. My sister, cousin and mom were present and I knew things were much different than how they are in this reality. My cousin was building a house on my grandparent’s land but had run out of money. My mom was to live with her. My grandfather was still alive and had been grumpy about helping build the house. My mom was not happy and very miserly. She was single and old and my sister was not like she is in this life but seemed independent and helpful. I recall making my lunch for school and then trying to leave but my car was blocked by tons of other cars.

 

Florida Prepares For Major Hit By Hurricane Irma

CARIBBEAN SEA – SEPTEMBER 8: In this NASA/NOAA handout image, NOAA’s GOES satellite shows Hurricane Irma (C) in the Caribbean Sea, Tropical Storm Jose (R) in the Atlantic Ocean and Tropical Storm Katia in the Gulf of Mexico taken at 15:45 UTC on September 08, 2017. Hurricane Irma barreled through the Turks and Caicos Islands as a category 4 storm en route to a destructive encounter with Florida this weekend. (Photo by NASA/NOAA GOES Project via Getty Images)

Considerations

When I awoke I felt like these dreams were either me visiting alternate timelines or the byproduct of some lesson/discussion going on in dreamtime. I felt like the first dream was a premonition. It felt very much like premonitions, do. The quality of them is different from regular dreams but it is hard to describe. It is like a “pay attention” feeling.

The other dream seems to be me confronting a part of me that is distasteful to me. It goes along with the ghetto dream I had not long ago where I visited a part of myself I felt was “unclean”. There is an inspection needed of the parts of myself that are lustful and sexual. That part of me tends toward addiction and seeks out pleasure over pain. Lately I have had images of sexual scenes in my mind that come out of the blue. They are quite orgy-like and likely from another lifetime, though I am not certain. I have a curiosity about them but do not linger on them. However, I am having a lot of root chakra Kundalini activity that makes me especially sexually aroused for no reason. I suspect the dreams, visions and sexual urges go hand-in-hand. Yet I cannot help but wonder if I have gone “sexually insane” or maybe I have entered into that talked about “sexual peak” that women in their 40s experience? There is from this unintended burst of sexual tension both an interest and repulsion in reaction to these sexual urges.

With all of the above going on in dreamtime it is likely it is bubbling up into my consciousness during my waking hours and influencing me more than I know. The hurricane and it’s path toward my husband does not feel to be an issue and overall I feel calm about his situation and know he will arrive home safely, though maybe a bit delayed. Last night as I was considering the three hurricanes now in the Gulf, the massive 8.0 earthquake that hit Mexico and all the fires in the Northwest, I can’t help but feel like my early premonitions of Earth changes are slowly coming to pass. My guidance has long urged me to “stay put” in Central Texas because it will be “safe”. I have seen the coastlines of the U.S. in visions and was told it was not advised that I live near any of them. On one coast the threat of earthquakes is high, on the other ocean surges will engulf the low lying areas time and time again. To think of it all made me shudder. No wonder I have been so uppity the last few days.

Kundalini and New Chakras?

Another interesting night last night. I suspect the full moon again.

Dream: New Controls

I went into an office building inside a skyscraper (high ambitions) for a job (looking for direction and focus). While inside I met up with a woman wearing professional attire – gray and blue suit, high heels. She dropped me at my designated area and told me there were five openings and assured me I would get one. She hinted that the manager position was a likely fit.

Inside I was handed my packet complete with shirt, hat and shoes for my uniform (need to belong). I took it and left without question. The lady met me outside the door and asked me what position I got. I told her it must be a position lower than manager because I was given a uniform. I showed her and she seemed disappointed. I was also given a round telephone for communicating with the office. The feeling was the job was technical or something but all I recall is looking through the phone and noticing it needed to be programmed and did not look nor work like other cell phones.

As I was leaving I opted to take the stairs instead of the elevator. The stairs were in the center of the building and where the treads should have been there were straps. I opted to just slide down (letting go of control) and landed on the bottom happy from the ride.

At the bottom I ran into a woman with gigantic balloons (dreams, hopes, ambitions) in all shapes for her son’s birthday party. A gust of wind came and she lost hold of them and they scattered. We were inside a tunnel (exploring subconscious) so they just spread out. I grabbed several for her. I remember two in the shape of Corvettes. I helped her to her car and she thanked me.

Then I was inside a car and my mom was driving. I was in the seat directly behind the driver’s seat holding my new, circular work phone. It morphed into a steering wheel (control over direction of life) and I began to drive while my mom drove. This caused problems and the car went out of control. I remember thinking, “I should just let her drive.” So I let go of my controls and sat back.

Then for some reason the driving shifted to me and I happily used my new controls which were not attached to the car. It was difficult to get use to because it caused the car to fly (in charge of life, happy). I remember running into guard rails more than once but not being upset by it but laughing it off. The new controls were blue (spirituality, optimism) in my hands and seemed very futuristic. I remember someone being there to guide me on using the controls.

While I was driving I began to notice an energy in my root chakra. This shifted the dream and I found myself inside a sparkly white bathroom (renewal) cleaning it with white rags. I saw the tub faucet and noticed it had blue (spirituality, optimism) wash cloths (new transition) draped around it. I went up to investigate but the sensation in my root chakra grew more and more intense and woke me up.

Kundalini and New Chakras? 

When I woke up the energy in my root was explosive. It shifted out and then upward into my chest. It felt like a very pleasurable energy bubble that breathed in and out. I drifted into the in-between where I was shown the circular control (the phone and steering wheel from the dream) and then saw what looked like a V shape. Up one side of it were 7 circles set along a geometric plane. I recognized them to be the chakras. The root was at the vertex of the V and I understood that another whole set of chakras went up the other side of the V. I assumed this to mean that I had two whole sets of chakras and was learning how to control the new set.

I continued to feel energy all over my body and it was mostly very pleasant but not so much that it made me squirm. It seemed as if the energy of the root chakra just expanded upward to include all of my chakras except for the last two. While the energy moved around I saw geometric, 3D shapes coming into my body from above. Mostly I recall seeing triangles a couple of feet larger than my physical body. They shifted position as they came closer and then “clicked” into place.

In one instance I was being shown how to activate my chakras. I was told to focus (touch) the palm of my right hand. When I did an electric pulse of energy shot up my arm and went directly into my heart chakra. My heart chakra felt to expand a bit and the energy inside was electric and warm to the point of almost being uncomfortable. In my mind’s eye I saw an electric field generate inside my heart chakra that looked like something from out of a science text book. There were points connecting to points and they were all lit up in a neon green color and sparking as tiny points connected and reconnected almost like brain neurons. I was in awe of what I had just done and this woke me up completely. I laid in bed for a while after just enjoying the energy moving around and through my body.

When I was fully awake I remember Knowing that the shape of the new phone/control was purposeful. Cell phones are normally rectangular. This new “cell phone” was circular and looked like a futuristic make-up compact. The entire dream sequence and subsequent Kundalini activity was like a course to get me accustomed to something new about myself.

Lucid Dream and OBE: Over and Over Again

After a two month WP break this morning’s activity prompted me to shift back here. Why? Well, you’ll see, but mainly because while I was in the midst of the lucid dream below I remember saying, “I need to remember this, to write this down and share it”.

If you’ve been following me on Blogger then you know what’s been going on these past couple of months. If you haven’t been, sorry, I’m not going to do a recap except to say spiritual experiences have been low, dream recall almost nonexistent, and focus has been on physicality and living life.

Up until two nights ago things have been quiet in dreamland. Woke up a lot last night. Assuming it has to do with the full moon.

Lucid Dream: Message

I was in school but can’t recall now the specifics of the situation. The next thing I know I am in a room that has no form or features and is dark except where I am. It is almost like I have a dim spotlight on me. I feel a distinctly familiar feeling and think, “I am about to meet someone.” The feeling brings on full lucidity. I think to myself, “Capricorn” and quickly conclude he must be a Capricorn. I’m not sure why I think this but I have no doubt of what I Know.

The feeling intensifies. It is the feeling of connection to another and it is strong, but not so strong it scares me. I can only describe it as an all-over body vibration where mine and the other person’s vibration aligns. The feeling is like my body is a living symphony where all the individual instrument parts are being played perfectly. My soul was literally singing.

A man appears from the shadows. When I see him I know he’s the one I’ve been feeling. He says to me, “I have a message for you.” Inside I begin to freak out a bit, anticipating the message and wishing he had not said that word “message” because it makes me anticipate what is coming next. I expected to wake up because I could feel my anticipation rising and my nervousness taking over. Yet I didn’t. Instead, he approached me and placed his hand on my left shoulder. It was so solid and real it surprised me. I looked up at him and could see him clearly. He was no one I recognized. In fact, he was quite plain in terms of human appearance with small red bumps (pimples?) covering his face, but the feeling I got from him was gentle and loving. He had medium brown hair and light eyes. In recalling him now he could have passed for my father in his younger years, though I did not see my father in him during the experience.

I wait for his message and he draws closer to me. He gently pulls me toward him and we hug. I feel every bit of it as real as in the physical yet this doesn’t wake me up. The hug is so wonderful, too, reminding me of how hugs felt when I was a child after being lost for a while.

When we are done hugging I keep looking up at him, focusing on his face trying to memorize every detail. He says to me, “You are better than this. You don’t need him.” I feel instantly humbled by his statement. It was like I had expected him to say it and I knew exactly what he was talking about. I replied, “You’re talking about (insert person’s name) right?” He says, “Yes.” I hang my head and say, “I know but it is so hard. I don’t want to be here. I can’t do this anymore.” He says, “Why don’t you leave then?” I say to him, “I don’t think I could do that.” He says, “Why couldn’t you?”

I have to interrupt the dream here to say our conversation is not what it seems. Don’t draw any conclusions here thinking we are talking about my husband because we aren’t. During the conversation I did mention a name but when I awoke I understood it to mean I don’t need anyone – male, female, or otherwise. When he says “Why don’t you leave?” I interpret it to mean “leave this life”, not a person, place or situation. In hindsight I believe the conversation has multiple meanings referring to multiple situations in my life.

There is a discussion then about my time on Earth and the choices I have made and the choices I have yet to make. Most of the specifics are lost to me now but I recall seeing a block resembling the days on a calendar but I think the blocks represent something larger, maybe years or lifetimes but I’m not sure. I recall knowing I could finish early, two blocks early, and that it would be okay if I did. The feeling I remember having the most was complete exhaustion and wanting to exit this life as soon as possible. There were so many words exchanged here but all that is left of mine is a feeling of being unable to progress past a certain point. If I had to put it into words it would be that I just can’t push past my feelings of responsibility towards those I love or past the feeling that whatever I do, I lose. I remember the man being very sympathetic and there being the message from him that I knew this might happen when I planned this life. We don’t always have the strength in life that we think we will have while we are in Spirit. The feeling of disappointment in myself was very strong. No matter how hard I try to do what I came here to do, I seem unable. It’s as if that part of me is broken.

The next thing I remember was him asking me, “How do you want to go?” I contemplated this aloud saying, “I don’t care” because I just wanted it over with, then changed my mind because I saw several scenarios flash through my mind – car accident, freak accident, suicide.  I saw my family’s reaction to these and it wasn’t good. I told him, “I prefer to go in my sleep. An aneurysm maybe…something that won’t hurt and won’t traumatize my family.”

Then I heard noises-off. It sounded like my daughter calling my name. By this time I was laying down with the man, curled up inside his embrace and very comfortable there with him. Safe. I knew hearing her meant he was about to go. I told him, “I don’t want you to go yet.” But I called back to her and felt his embrace around me lighten until it was gone. Yet I could still hear him. I asked him, “What is your name?” He said, “I have many names, as do you.” I understood this meant so much more than my human mind can comprehend yet in that moment I had no confusion whatsoever.

I lost some lucidity then and had a dream-within-a-dream. I saw a blonde woman resembling me. She laid down behind the back wheels of an SUV placing her head right behind a tire. The car backed up and crushed her head. The people inside the car panicked and got out. I was watching from a distance and saw the woman rise up out of her body and watch.

Then I was talking to the woman. We were face to face and I felt overwhelming love for her. I put my hands on her face and looked at her, smiling. I don’t remember everything we said but I do recall saying to her, “I love you” and my heart overflowing with love for her. We embraced and then I woke up feeling myself settle back into my sleeping body.

Even after I awoke I could still sense the energy of the man from my dream. He was still around me so I asked him again, “What is your name?” I felt a reply and slowly it formed in my mind – Sebastian. The sense at this time was that I was surrounded by love and it’s form is incomprehensible to my human mind. What I see in my dreams and in visions is nothing compared to the true forms of these Beings. I heard, “We are Many” and took a deep breath. Elohim. I knew They would come back. But I was/am so tired, so completely spent energetically, spiritually, physically, emotionally, that the thought of being “crazy” caused absolutely no reaction in me.

I couldn’t sleep afterward, tossing and turning because I was trying to remember as many details of the experience as I could. There were moments when I would drift and get visions, flashes of names or scenarios. I saw the name, “David” written clearly and remembered an entire dream from many nights before. Then I heard Ezekiel, Gabriel, and other Biblical names. I began to hear an old hymnal – Ten Thousand Angels – “He could have called, ten thousand angels, but he died alone for you and me….” I knew I was being told I had angels watching over me.

OBE: Over and Over Again

I almost got out of bed at 5:30am because I was so wide awake but instead I closed my eyes to meditate.

The next thing I recall was being inside a school sitting at a desk. I knew I had missed many classes. There were several “bad” students present. One male student was sent to get my mail and deliver it to me. Yet he didn’t give it to me but kept it and went through it. I went up to him and said, “You know it’s a federal offense to take someone’s mail.” Eventually I got my mail back and pulled out a large, wooden “S”, from inside an envelope. I knew it represented my last name.

My teacher told me that I needed to update my computer. I had a laptop in front of me and told her I had already updated it from home. I went to a seat and sat down for a while after that. The seat reminded me of a seat in a movie theater. As I sat there I entered into a meditative trance-type state. I can’t remember what I was thinking until the vibrations began to wake me from my meditative state. They were super intense, wrapping around me lovingly centered around my heart. I wanted to sink into them and let them take me away, into oblivion, when I thought suddenly, “I’m having a stroke.” Then I realized the energy and vibrations I was feeling were indicative of being OOB. I sat up and out of my dream body and faced myself, touching my own shoulder. I don’t remember looking at my face just being aware of being outside of the body I had just been in.

I immediately felt freer and happier. Looking to explore, I wandered out of the large, movie-theater-type place and into another room. Inside I found a large group of people standing together in formation seeming to be rehearsing something. They were all wearing what appeared to be costumes of other-worldly creatures. Some looked to be from the Renaissance while others looked like fairies or creatures only found in fairy realms. My attention went to a very tall, handsome man in front of me. I can’t remember his costume now but when I saw him I was intrigued. His eyes and mine locked and I smiled. I stood and watched them practice for a while, relaxed and enjoying myself. All of them were a good foot or more taller than me.

Then a young brown haired woman approached me. We knew each other. She began talking to the other me who apparently had followed me into the room. I interrupted their conversation and said to her, “It’s me. She (the other me) is me. You and I know each other, too.” The explanation continued but is lost to me now. Apparently I am able to split off from myself and interact independently of my other selves. This time I remember seeing the other me but now all I remember is a blur of her blue shirt and her shoulder length hair which seemed light brown/dark blonde.

I told the brown haired girl, “Come with me. I want to show you some things.” The girl followed. I was laughing by this time and jumped up into the air with her. I said, “We can fly, you know.” We lifted up and then drifted back down. Taking her hand I lifted her up with me and then we laid on our backs, floating. We glided for a while, facing the ceiling and then going through the windows out into the night. We could see the sky full of stars and I was laughing and singing by this time as was my friend.

We continued to float and then began to fly out and over the fields. I was singing about life and how we as eternal Beings live forever, experiencing lifetime after lifetime. The fields below me turned into giant life stories in the form of realistic books built into the scenery. The hills seemed to come alive with moving pictures of lives from different times and places. I sang, “We do it (life) over and over again….” As I sang I turned the pages of the Earth-book showing life after life after life. I did all of this full of a child-like joy.

It was around this time that I began to come back into my body. I felt the familiar energy of re-entry and my heart was beating rapidly.

A song was in my head when I woke up, “I’m still breathing. I’m still breathing. I’m alive.”

Putting it Together

The “Capricorn” reference was related to the month of December, not the man in the lucid dream. I don’t remember when I realized this but when I awoke I recalled seeing stars in the sky, as if being shown astrology and the time of the year when Capricorn rules. I also recall saying something in astrological terminology to the man. The term I used was “aspect” but I can’t make sense of what I said. All I recall is that I said some aspect would affect me and it is related to Capricorn. My feeling upon waking was that it would happen in December and I felt a bit sad because that time of the month has been bringing all kinds of crap into my life since 2015! I wish I could just skip the month this year rather than face whatever it is bringing me this time around.

I also want to reassure you all that though it appears I am planning my own demise, I do not feel upset, sad or otherwise concerning the conversation with the man in the lucid dream nor did I have any such feelings during the discussion regarding exiting this life. It was just a matter-of-fact conversation, like I got a sneak peek into what goes on in dreamtime – the planning and such.

There was also a message in the lucid dream I forgot to mention. I was told, “You are primed”. I have heard that before and so my reaction was not positive. I understand that it means I have been prepared/prepped for something – a task, situation, or experience.

Finally, there was a return of that familiar E.T. feeling that I have not had in a very long time. It is that multidimensional-connected-Source-Love-Oneness feeling. lol Hard to describe.

Preparation for Vertical Alignment and Full Exchange

Account of this morning’s Kundalini experience that I want to share with you all.

A Walk-In Life

I was approached last night by my Companion Traveler. He requested we resume our work. He did this by inserting a familiar song in my head – I Swear. Specifically he sent me the chorus: “I swear, by the moon and the stars in the sky, I’ll be there. I swear, like a shadow that’s by your side, I’ll be there…..I’ll love you with every beat of my heart, I swear.” Considering I haven’t heard that song in years (over a decade) I knew immediately where it came from and why. It’s a popular wedding song.

I was reluctant but finally agreed. My one request was that he appear to me in a different form. His normal form upset me too much.

Lucid Dream with Kundalini

Early this morning, I entered into a dream and became lucid quite quickly. My lucidity began to increase upon meeting up with a…

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Cabbage Soup

Remember I mentioned my yummy cabbage soup? Well, figured I would share my recipe for it since I’m sure you love cabbage! hahaha I know, it’s not the most favored of veggies but it provides massive amounts of vitamins K & C. A veggie with a punch!

I stumbled across the cabbage soup diet when I was searching for a good cleanse that didn’t starve me to death. I wasn’t into losing weight or fat, so I just took a cabbage soup recipe I liked (there are tons online) and tweaked it. BTW it does serve as an awesome detox/cleanse. I’ve used it many times with great results.

Cabbage Soup

Ingredients

1/4 cup butter
3 cloves of garlic, minced
3 large carrots, sliced
1 large white onion, chopped
4 stalks of celery, sliced
1 container sliced fresh mushrooms
1/2 head of green cabbage, chopped
3 medium potatoes, chopped into 1 inch cubes(peel on or off)
1 large turkey kielbasa, sliced (optional)
2 vegetable bouillon cubes
2 Tbsp parsley (fresh is better)
1 Tbsp ground coriander
1 tsp salt or to taste
1 tsp pepper or to taste
8 cups water

Directions

Chop all the veggies ahead of time and set aside.

In large stock pot melt 1/4 cup of butter and cook celery, mushrooms, garlic and chopped onions until onions are translucent. Add the spices and then add the cabbage, carrots and potatoes. The cabbage should fill the pot so if you didn’t chop enough, don’t worry you can add more once you add the liquid.

Add 8 cups of water and the bouillon. Bring to a boil and then simmer for 30 minutes or until cabbage is translucent.

If you like meat, my favorite thing to do is add some sliced turkey kielbasa. Just toss it in when you are cooking the celery and onions. My kids always fight over the sausage in the soup. 🙂

Crock Pot Recipe

Same ingredients as above without the butter. Just toss it all in and cook on low for 6-8 hours. If you like butter, then you can saute the onions, celery and mushrooms (and sausage) beforehand. I am lazy so I skip that step. lol You can also try substituting onion soup mix for the seasoning.

Fish Soup Alternative

This can also be made into a yummy fish soup recipe. Cook it all up (minus the potatoes) and substitute 1 head of Bok Choy for the green cabbage. You will also saute the Bok Choy, with the onions, celery and carrots. Add liquid and bouillon. Bring to a boil and simmer until carrots are soft. Then bring it back to a boil. Drop 4 frozen tilapia filets one at a time into the soup. The fish will thaw and cook within 5-8 minutes.

My family loves this version of the soup. When I first made it I was trying the GAPS diet and fish soup was one of the recipes. We have been fans ever since.

OBE: Illusion

Busy night.

Dream: Drug

At some point in the night I entered into a semi-lucid dream in which I was inside a house with a man. I seemed to get a tour of it, specifically the back garden and the garage. There was a small vegetable garden that had been neglected. The vegetables were wilting and there were some weeds but it could be salvaged. Inside the garage there was a single, white table. On it was food. I don’t recall what kind, just that I ate some and then felt large, grainy stuff in my mouth, like crystals. I stopped eating and became horrified realizing I had just eaten some kind of drug. I spit it out as fast as I could but knew it had already dissolved into my tongue and gotten into my system. My friend was reassuring me that it was no big deal, smirk on his face the whole time.

He asked me how I felt. I could feel this large energy surround me and settle around my head and face. It made me dizzy and disoriented so I held onto a chair to balance myself. There was a strange all-over feeling I can’t quite describe. It is what I would expect a heavy dose of an illegal drug would do, except I have never done any drugs like that so I don’t know. I kept looking to my friend for reassurance and he just kept smiling (ugh!) and asking how I felt. I got pretty nervous because the energy was so weird! It felt so physical yet I knew it was not and my head was the main focal point. My cheeks were numb and as I stood there my arms and hands became numb, too! There was also a strange energy in my stomach and all of it was just too much.

I startled awake. It was 4am. The energy was gone but my hands were both completely numb! lol I requested sleep because I have been waking up early every morning. I was able to fall asleep and entered into another semi-lucid dream.

Dream: Into the Nothingness

I was in my mom’s house with several family members, one of which was my SIL. I was flying around the whole time and confused as to whether I was really awake or dreaming. I did things that I needed to do upon waking like put out the trash and get ready for work. I was also extremely thirsty and seeking water. When I filled my glass from the refrigerator the liquid was brown and bubbly and I realized it was coke. This peaked my lucidity.

I went to my mom’s closet to borrow a sweater and as I was putting on clothing I wondered again if I was awake or not. This is when I realized I was floating and not standing and became completely lucid in the dream.

Upon realizing I was dreaming I entered into a place of nothingness similar to the in-between but I was OOB. One of my guides was speaking to me, instructing me. He said something about how I was there to regain my abilities in astral. He spoke of things I needed to practice like creating vortexes and such but I can’t remember his exact words. I was very happy and agreeable, listening like a good student. I don’t remember ever seeing him, I just felt his energy near me.

During this instruction period I remember feeling various energies. In one instance I was connecting to my friend Angela. I felt a huge wall of energy around me. It felt like water. It washed over me, like a tidal wave but it was very gentle. I remember allowing the flow of it to come over me and enjoying it but at the same time knowing I needed to connect with her to see how she was doing. Was she in an emotionally turbulent state right now? I wondered.

OBE: Illusion

At some point in my instruction my guide/teacher let me loose to practice. When this happened a rush of perception hit me all at once. I was floating in the middle of a suburban neighborhood and I was reminded that I needed to set an intention. My vision was crisp, the air was cool and the colors were amazing. I was floating at window level of the house I was near. I lifted up higher toward the rooftops and trees and stated my intent. I wanted to visit with a friend. I flew as I repeated my intent and let go, allowing myself to be drawn into the portal that I was creating to take me to my set location. Instead of going into the portal, though, I felt someone grab my left foot and begin to pull me. I was thinking I was going to be taken somewhere but instead I was set firmly on the ground, as if I was being told to stay grounded or maybe that I was grounded when it came to visiting this friend.

Undeterred, I asked why I was not being taken to this person. I was told, “Because there are things you need to see.” I replied, “But I need to see this person.” I explained why and was still very happy and carefree about it, convinced I would get my way.

I continued to fly and headed away from the houses. My vision was so crisp at one point that I had to remind myself I was OOB and to not get carried away by the lucidity of the situation. I could hear music every once in a while. The music was of a song I know called Illusion. I didn’t focus on the music, though, and it moved to the background.

I flew up high toward the stars and the light dimmed, as if night suddenly descended. There was a moment here that I knew I should not go any higher or attempt a visit into outer space. I somehow knew I was in an alternate reality created just for me to practice in. So, I changed my mind and went back down and the daylight returned. I did flips and just generally enjoyed my freedom. It was refreshing!

I was still trying to convince my guide why I should get what I wanted when I looked down and saw my dog, Trooper, in a three-sided cubicle chained up. I decided to investigate and flew down to him. He was soaking wet and I commented on it as I greeted him. I unchained him and said, “Do you want to go swimming!? I know that’s your most favorite thing to do!” My dog jumped and was enthusiastic so I took him to a pool and we jumped in together. We swam across the pool and then he overwhelmed me, pushing me underneath him and under the water. I remember feeling the water come over my head and not being concerned. I grabbed him by the collar and led him to the side of the pool.

When I got out my mom was standing there and sent me a telepathic message about a situation that had occurred with my son. He had been bullied on the bus and the perpetrators were paying for it, literally. She said something to me about them owing $2,000 total but $1,000 was already paid. She said, “And they will pay.” I remember thinking it odd that this would be brought to me as part of what I needed to “see”. I wondered about it and then settled into the nothingness space again. My guide close, I knew I would wake soon, which I did. I entered my body very gently.

Illusion

As I settled into my body I heard the song Illusion again, specifically the part, “Please don’t go. I want you to stay.” But again I wasn’t really paying attention to the song. Instead, I was focused on my guide who was close by. He said to me, “Remember who you are.” I said back, “What exactly is that suppose to mean?” Before I finished my question a thought entered my mind – A spiritual Being having a human experience. Not impressed, I then noticed the music repeating in my head over and over. I acknowledged it saying, “Oh, I get it! You want me to stay so you are bribing me with OBEs to keep me interested!” I laughed because my guidance knows me so well.