Yesterday was my son’s 8th birthday. It always creeps up on us being so close to the Christmas holiday and, as usual, we didn’t prepare far enough in advance. I decided on Friday to invite his cousin for a sleepover and allow my son to choose to do whatever he liked on his big day. He was happy with the plan. He is always so laid back and accepting when it comes to his birthday, which I am grateful for. He could easily go all dramatic and pout like his sister, but he doesn’t.
Everything was fine until my husband decided to invite others without talking to me first. No big deal except it turned into two nights of sleepovers instead of one. Sleepovers can be a headache, especially if the child staying over is anxious about it, which this friend was. I was awakened at 2:30am by his wandering the house and watching TV in the middle of the night. 😦
On top of all the birthday chaos, my daughter somehow misplaced her phone. The entire evening last night was spent looking for her phone amidst her wails of despair. I had just installed Norton Family on her phone which allows me to see the phone’s location. The phone is in the house according to Norton, yet, suspiciously, we cannot find it anywhere. It has completely vanished!
In addition to all the phone craziness, I noticed our coat closet was very empty. Upon inspection, I noticed all but one of my coats was in there. One is a new coat I got for Christmas that I absolutely love. I’ve looked everywhere for it and cannot find it. Both my son’s coats are missing from the closet, too. So we have more mysteriously lost items.
Interesting tidbit of info, though – while looking for my daughter’s phone I was checking my husband’s coat pockets and found the remote to the Roku TV which has been missing for several weeks. So, one “mysterious” lost item recovered via all the searching, BUT it was never lost to begin with. My husband likes to hide remotes and other devices from my kids because he feels they spend to much time on them. Then he forgets where he hides them. This happened to my daughter’s last phone, which we found by accident a whole year after it was lost! Of course, it doesn’t work now, some battery malfunction. Currently hidden are my Kindle (grrr!) and (I believe) my daughter’s phone. In the past he has hidden keyboards, mouses, and even my laptop! It is infuriating to say the least.
Oh and have to add that, just last week my husband said to me about my daughter, “We should have never gotten her a phone.” Humph!
Put all of the above together and it makes for a difficult time falling asleep. 😦
After being awakened by the child sleeping over, I struggled to fall asleep. Everything about the previous day was in my head swirling around. It made me feel rigid and uncomfortable. Plus, my nose was stopping up and bothering me. After over an hour (and some nasal spray), I managed to somehow drift off.
I was in a dream I don’t recall now, but did upon waking (grr!). What I recall next is hearing what sounded like my boss’ voice talking about some man named, “Kamir”. While she was talking about him I saw images of him flash in my mind. He looked like a body builder, very muscular and tan. I can’t recall what she was talking about now but at the time I heard every word and was following along quite well. At the time my body was vibrating at such a high level that it felt numb with an energy that I can only describe as “cold”, though that is not accurate. I instinctively knew I could exit my body, so I did.
When I exited I found myself in my room but my vision was not “on”. I said several times, “Clarity now!” When I did this, my vision turned on and I was able to see clearly the darkened room. I floated down the stairs toward the front door, looking around at my house for things that were out of place. I noticed nothing unusual. I remember trying to stay calm because I wanted to make it out the front door. The last several OBEs I’ve had ended at the front door and I wanted badly to change that pattern. Sadly, as soon as I got up to the door I returned to my body.
Back in my body I was aware again of the odd energy. My heart was beating fast but I ignored it. I had hynagogia for a bit. It looked like tiny cheerio bubbles in my vision. Not lingering, I exited my body and attempted to leave my house again. Sadly, once I got to the door I felt pulled back to my body.
The sensations were the same upon re-entry. So odd but not uncomfortable really. I knew to ignore them and again shifted OOB. This time, when I got to my bedroom door I saw another door perpendicular to it that is not there in real life. I opened it and the floor seemed to slant down a bit. In front of me I saw a white wall with a 3D maze on it. When I stepped through, I turned to my right and saw another white door. It opened and when I went through I was not in my house, but some other house.
Inside the other house I saw a living/dining area with older furnishings. There were afghans draped over the leather sofas and I could see a double glass sliding door leading outside. The sun was shining through them illuminating the space and making it feel very inviting. I remember thinking, “I know this place.” Yet I have no clue where I have seen it before! I turned and walked through an arch on my left into the living room where I saw more familiar furnishings, a large window and a door in the far right. In my mind I was thinking, “This is his house.” Yet I have no idea who I was referring to.
Before I could explore further and look for people (I kept expecting to see his mother walk in), I was again pulled back to my body. This time I was much more aware of my heart beating very rapidly in my chest and the odd, high vibrations were getting very uncomfortable.
I shifted into the in-between I believe at this time, but it is hard to say for sure. I may have been OOB but I cannot recall any visuals or travel. What I do remember is having a conversation with a man. I recognized him and called him, “Will” and I knew his full name was William Buhlman. He asked me how I liked being part of the group and asked me for an update. I knew I was assigned to a group of three and that we were part of a larger OBE group/community that worked to gather information via out-of-body experiences. I don’t recall now what I reported because I was so shocked by the revelation that I went back to my body awareness.
Aware again of my body I could tell I needed to calm myself a bit and ease into exiting rather than force it. I decided to think of swaying or rocking my astral body. When I did this I felt encouraged to shift from side to side to back and forth, as if on a swing. I went with it and felt to be pulled forward by invisible hands. They were very gentle and I was not afraid.
I could feel myself holding onto like a trapeze swing and sensed hands opening up to catch me as I jumped off. I let go and flew toward the invisible outstretched hands. As I did this my vision turned on 100% and I saw my bedroom wall getting closer and closer. I was flying head-first into my wall! No hands to be seen, I was caught off-guard and this woke me fully.
Heart beating rapidly I came back to body awareness quickly and lingered a while to see if I could exit again. I could tell I had lost my chance and so shifted positions in bed from laying on my right side to on my back. I settled and tried again to reach the vibrational state needed to exit.
This time I shifted into a lucid dream rather than exiting. I was sitting propped up in my bed in my old bedroom back at my mom’s. In my lap was a test (life lessons). A female voice was reading the instructions but I was already filling in my answers. She advised me to take my time and pay attention. I looked at my answers and saw the numbers on the answer sheet did not go in order. I read, “5, 1, 3.” Catching my mistake, I went back and erased my answers and made corrections.
I lost interest in the test soon after. Then I heard a male voice to my left ask me, “What do you want to do?” I said to him, “I would really like some company.” I was craving a bit of Kundalini Union/bliss and bored of taking the test. Within seconds of my reply a familiar looking man entered my vision from the left and sat on top of me, facing me. He was chipper and talking about his life. I could see him and hear him so clearly! His hips were sitting directly over my own and he wrapped his arms around me as he talked to me. I could feel his fingers on my bare back as if I were awake. I relished the feeling of his touch as if I had not been touched in ages. I wish I could remember what he was saying to me because it was like we were continuing a previous conversation. At the time it all made complete sense.
As we embraced and I began to snuggle into him, someone burst through my bedroom door. I looked up and it was my mom and another woman. The woman had some people behind her and they were asking me questions. She rudely came up to the bed and dispersed the papers I had spread out in from of me. I stood up and protested, pushing them back through the door. I was wearing only a loose sweatshirt and underwear.
My mom was saying something like, “Let them in. They are trying to help you.” The woman had in her hand some paper and a pen and was asking me questions I can’t recall now but they were about my state of mind and future plans. I recognized they were from the church and was infuriated with my mom for asking them to come.
I kept pushing them out of my room and they kept pushing back. When I locked the door, they unlocked it with a key my mom had given them. My mom was telling them I needed help because I had said untrue things about her to a man. I pushed up against the door with all my weight and looked for things to put against the door to block their entry. Nothing was heavy enough, though, and eventually they overpowered me.
Standing face to face with my mom and the church woman I let them tell me why they were there. My mom said I had told her father untruths about her. I saw in my mind a man named John Bell and he was very old and wrinkled. He spoke to me, telling me I had told my mom things that were not true. I can’t recall now what that was but it had to do with another woman I believe, like him having an affair. I explained that I had not done what he claimed and the issue was all cleared up. The church people told me goodbye and the woman asked me why I was so upset. I told her, “Well, you burst in at a bad time. I was having a sexual dream.” lol Note: I have an ancestor name John Bell I believe but he would be my great-grandfather or something like that. I never met him in this life.
Then the scene shifted and I was outside standing in a cul-de-sac. There were small mobile homes all around me. One in particular got my attention. I flew around the cul-de-sac really fast once and then paused at the mobile home. It was painted in bright colors with images that reminded me of a circus or fair. I decided to go up to it and saw a small window near the entry. As I got closer a tiny but old dog began to bark at me. I went up to it and saw it was blind and had only two teeth. I let it sniff me and it seemed fine until I lost my balance and nearly fell. Then it began to lunge at me, barking and growling. It was kinda funny because it was so old and I did not have to move fast to avoid it.
The home had a ramp built up to a tiny porch. The railings were made of bent branches. I walked up the ramp and would jump up and out of reach of the blind dog. Eventually, though, it nipped me. It felt like a tiny pinch. Someone called off the dog and I looked and saw an elderly couple walking toward me. They had another dog with them that was friendly. They went inside the trailer after talking with me briefly. I remember feeling admiration for them.
As I walked back down the ramp I saw a man approaching only his back was to me. When I got to him he turned around and asked if I had avoided the dog. When I said it nipped me and turned to face me and went on his way after saying something about how it was normal.
I kept walking and saw a sign posted on a chalkboard. It said, “Fresh Brewed coffee served daily. $4.50/pot.” I thought it nice and liked the feel of the community.
My awareness peaked after that and I shifted to a bed inside the mobile home I had just left. I knew I had just died and left my body. I was a dark haired very attractive woman. I watched myself leave the body. I felt my awareness of my death and saw my naked body. Then my awareness was as the woman and I flew out of the mobile home feeling free and wanting to explore.
I felt myself return to my body. The same vibrations were evident. It is a cold sensation and kinda makes me feel numb. My heart was beating fast but not erratically and it settled quickly.
Laying in bed mulling over what happened I shifted back to the in-between. A male voice from my left began to speak to me, reminding me to be patient. Specifically he said, “Wait” in response to my thoughts about how I have been feeling about my life. He also asked me if I was ready for more OOB travels. This surprised me because I have not been OOB much in a while. I said I would be open to more.
After a brief pause where I began to drift to sleep having thoughts of someone, he said to me, “Don’t change what you cannot bear.”
This brought me out of my reverie and I thought it an odd thing to say. I kept rewording it, saying to myself, ‘He must mean, “Don’t try to change what you feel you cannot bear.'” I knew it meant that it was those things you feel that are unbearable that teach you the most.
A memory of when I found out I was pregnant with my youngest came to mind. I was furious and felt I would not be able to handle another pregnancy and child. It felt unfair and I mourned for the first six months of my pregnancy. Yet now, almost five years later, I have managed just fine. What I thought I couldn’t bear, I could. It all turned out just fine and my life is fuller and more colorful because my youngest is in it.
Then I thought of other instances where I thought I would not make it through a situation. With this memory came a vision from the male presence to my left. I saw two tennis shoes tied together. The shoe on the left was the right foot of a man I know. The shoe on the right was my left shoe. It seemed like I was being told that our paths are one and the same but it is hard to say. Either way, we are joined at least at the feet. lol
I recognized the male energy I sensed to my left as different from the one in my dream. He confirmed and said, “We are all here for you.” It felt like I had a group gathered nearby and the idea of the “intervention” came to me. We talked a bit longer and he reminded me that I need to be strong but also that I need to stop resisting. It felt as if little, irritating things like what happened yesterday are more likely right now and that I need to just ride them out.
The male energy kept sending me a message via song, “And when you smile, the whole world stops and stares for a while, ’cause you’re amazing, just the way you are.”