Welcome to my spiritual journey!
I was born to a Christian family and raised singing hymnals and listening to classical music. The middle daughter of three daughters, I spent most of my time left alone to wander the neighborhood and explore nature. My favorite things to do were to swim, get dirty, climb trees, play with frogs and crawdads, and sing.
I always had a vivid imagination and was in my own special world most of the time. I was told that I played with an imaginary friend when I was 2-3 years old, but I do not remember this. My mother told me that she and my older sister use to make fun of me and then one day my imaginary friend was gone. I also recall seeing vivid images in my mind whenever a story was told and being told how to handle things in my life by a voiceless voice, which I now know to be my Companion. I never really thought anything of this help or my visions but over time, after being told time and again that it was all my imagination, the visions and voice disappeared.
I graduated the first of my high school class and went off to college not knowing what I wanted to do with my life. I met my first husband around this time and we were married during my second year in college. I graduated two years later with a degree in education and the social sciences while living in Montana. Afterward, we moved even farther north to Alaska and I suffered greatly from this experience. The isolation, darkness and loneliness caused me to have a near mental breakdown. It was during this time in my life that the voice returned and told me, “Get out now!” as I woke from my sleep. I did not hesitate to listen to it and left a week later never to return.
I returned home and found a job not long after. The next Spring I met a coworker who introduced me to Sylvia Browne books and I borrowed one to read. There was a meditation in one that I did on a whim. I was surprised by an intense emotional and spiritual experience in which my deceased father communicated with me. I became obsessed with what occurred and continued to meditate in search of similar experiences. That is when I met my Companion and my entire life changed. I suddenly had spiritual abilities I never knew I had. I also had intense spiritual experiences and knowingness that often scared me. I quit my job, unable to focus upon it anymore and finding my abilities conflicting with my responsibilities.
For four years after that I struggled with my new abilities and perception of the world. I went through a dark night of the soul, had kundalini energy fluctuations, learned Reiki, met many others similar to myself and learned many hard lessons along the way. Ultimately, I decided to give up on using my spiritual gifts and returned back to my mundane world activities. When I did this, I was soon united with my current husband and we began our family immediately.
Currently I have three children and work part-time from home so that I can spend more time with them. I received my Master’s degree in counseling during the short reprieve between baby 2 and 3, but the seven years since I gave up my spiritual practices left me feeling empty inside despite all the joys and events that occurred in those 7 years. It has only been recently that I have reconnected with my guides and Companion and my journey has picked up where I left it back in 2007. I have been experiencing kundalini energy and am told I am undergoing a “merging” process with my Companion. This is also known as “ascension” and it seems that the entire world is now going through it with me. I am grateful that now I do not feel so alone in my journey as back in 2003 the word ascension was not so well known.
I do not know where my journey is going but I have been encouraged to keep writing my experiences so that others who are on a similar journey do not feel alone. There is nothing worse than going through a spiritual awakening all alone. Even if one has strong connections to their guides the journey is very demanding and emotionally and mentally destructive. To have support and know that others are experiencing similar changes may be all that keeps someone from going over the edge.
Photo credit: Oil painting of me and my daughter, 2008, by my husband