Dream: WOD & OBE: What Nourishes My Soul?

My middle child has been sick since Sunday. He missed the first day back to school and is home today as well. His symptoms are bad headache and low grade fever of around 100.3°. Yesterday he was well enough in the morning to go shopping with me so I thought he was recovering. Sadly, by evening he was complaining again but could not describe what was hurting him. He fell asleep around 5pm and slept until this morning waking occasionally in a delirium and talking nonsense. This morning he says he feels better. When I told him he once said he thought he was dying he said, “Yeah, I was worried I would have a headache forever.” We suspect he has the flu. 😦

His birthday is Friday. I sure hope he is fully recovered by then.

In thinking of his birthday story (I went into labor with him on 1-11-11 but he was born at just after midnight) I realized tomorrow is yet another version of 1-11-11 only instead of 1-11-2011 it will be 1-11 and then 2+0+1+8 = 11. It will be exactly 7 years from when I was in labor. Pretty cool! I wonder if anything significant is going to happen? Hmmm

BTW, the 1111 number continues to follow me as if reminding me my journey is not over.

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January 8th, pre-workout. Strapped on my watch and this was the time. 🙂

Updates and Plans

Since I have written in a while on what is going on with me I figured I would do a little update.

I completed my online NASM course on Monday. My next step is to get First Aid/CPR certified and then take the NASM certification exam. Once I pass the exam I will be a certified personal trainer and can get a job. My plan is to do an 8 week internship at a local gym first via the program I enrolled in. After completing the internship I am guaranteed a job.

My motivation regarding this new career path is on-again-off-again. Some days I think it will be a good thing and other days I just want to drop it completely. It is hard for me to see myself doing anything in the workaday world right now. It is good that I paid so much for the program because it is the money that is making me keep at it. I hate to spend money and then not at least experience the end results of my efforts. Follow through and give it a chance, right?

I am still running and lifting weights and doing my fitness thang. lol I run three days a week and lift weights three days a week, neither on the same days. I found that separating the running and lifting was better for me. My body wasn’t tolerating that routine well. Honestly, I don’t think anyone’s body would tolerate a schedule like that long! I’ve maintained my weight and body fat and will continue to maintain it until I get bored. Ha!

The heart palpitations continue. Not sure exactly why but they are a daily occurrence. When they happen I feel it in my throat, which is odd. If I take my pulse I can feel my pulse rate slow and then catch up within a few seconds. I suspect the BC might be partly to blame but I am giving the BC at least 6 months. Thus far my acne has remained under control. I stopped taking the antibiotics three weeks ago.

Speaking of antibiotics, I think they have messed with my gut flora so I am going to revisit the GAPS diet to return the balance. I won’t be going full-out with the diet but using some of the components such as the broth, probiotics, yogurt/kefir (yuck) and lots of veggies. It will mean no non-fermented dairy and gluten-free for a time but that won’t be an issue. I am also  toying with the idea of making my own yogurt. It sounds like a healthy and fun project. I haven’t started the diet just yet, need to review the book, but I am looking forward to relieving some of the side-effects of taking antibiotics for so long. Interestingly, the last time I did the GAPS diet was in January 2015 right after taking a round of antibiotics for exactly the same acne issue!

Someone asked about Monty not long ago so will update on him. He is doing well. He weighed 12.5lbs at his 14 week checkup. He is potty trained (yay!) though still has occasional accidents here and here. We recently leash trained him and he does well on a leash, already indicating he will be an excellent running partner in the future.

Dream: WOD

I was taken to a mountain town with a group of people. We walked up steep trails to a house that was in pretty bad shape. There was an interaction inside with a man who was using the house as part of his work. I soon realized my group were my coworkers and we were being introduced to a new part of our job.

After much discussion someone mentioned how the city was growing fast and asked if I wanted to work there. I was hesitant and they said, “We will pay all costs of relocating. You will have your own house and all expenses will be paid.”  Still reluctant, I looked out the window and saw miles of pig farms (overindulgence, gluttony). I said, “I don’t think so. I couldn’t live in such filth.” I somehow knew the growth of the city relied upon pig farming.

They referred to the city as WOG but for some reason I called it WOD. In the dream these names meant nothing but upon waking I knew both well. Wog is a term used in Scientology that refers to non-Scientologists. A wog is a “common, everyday garden-variety humanoid … He ‘is’ a body. [He] doesn’t know he’s there, etc. He isn’t there as a spirit at all.” WOD is a cross-fit term that means “Workout of the Day”. Both terms make sense in the context of this dream. Wog indicates that I saw the groups of people I would be working with as unawakened. The pigs and shit they wallowed in indicate the state of the unawakened in the world. WOD indicates that I saw working with wog’s as part of my job (work-of-the-day) – just an everyday thing.

Eventually I was introduced to other coworkers who had relocated to the city. They were all having a party with the locals and pizza was ordered. I remember staying with a man inside the house. He showed me how to clean up the feces (materialism, possessions, pride, aggression) that was in abundance. I think he did this to try and convince me that all hope was not lost. The visuals are pretty gross. He showed me a huge barrel full of human feces. Then showed me how to contain it. I unpacked a box and carefully kept the contents, a bunch of kitchen materials, separated from the contaminated stuff. There was a small, plastic container in the box for the feces and it was explained that once contained the amount would never be more than the size of the container.

Then I was introduced to a man with blonde hair and was told he was “our brother”. He was young, maybe 20-something, and very attractive. I looked to the man who had been teaching me, who I also knew was my brother, and said, “How is he my brother?” It was explained to me that we had the same father but I believe that is how my human mind interpreted because the explanation if very muddled in my memory. I recall looking around the room at all the others and thinking they were all my “brothers” and my family was really big.

Then I met a woman whose name was “Joy” but she was the complete opposite. I laughed and called her by her name and she got nasty with me. I knew I had made an enemy of her. I didn’t care, I was trying to lighten the mood because she was overly serious.

She stayed there with us as we prepared to go to the party outside. The weather had warmed substantially. Usually it was freezing but that day it was in the 60’s. I opted not to wear shorts even though most others were.

We went to the party and I was surprised to find that the celebration consisted of everyone driving go karts (ability to navigate life’s twists and turns) around a circular dirt track. There was a quick demo on how to use them and I was fascinated that a work party would involved something so fun. I watched as “Joy” stepped up to a go kart. Her response to me was the complete opposite of before. She greeted me like an old friend and told a woman next to me she was grateful to have met me, that I had helped her by something I told her. The woman told me and I said, “I don’t remember saying that to her.” It didn’t matter, though, Joy was now full of….joy. lol

OBE: What Nourishes My Soul?

I woke at around 6am with the dream on my mind. While going over it in my mind I must have drifted into the in-between because the next thing I recall is sitting at my computer with my children to my right. I saw the screen clearly. At first I was viewing FB. Something wasn’t quite right, though. It showed that I had no friends and I got a message that said, “Add friends”. Confused, I figured there must be a glitch with FB. I shifted to my website and noticed the format had changed. I could not see my followers and suddenly became aware that I had none.

As I looked over my website my screen went gray and a tiny message was written in the center. At first I thought I got an email from someone I hadn’t heard from in a while but turns out it was a message that someone had reblogged one of my posts.

The gray screen with the message in the center made me aware of vibrations. I could feel them and my physical body very distinctly. I could feel my heart doing weird things and the vibrations were similar to a feeling of restlessness. I knew I was dreaming and knew that the vibrations meant I could shift OOB but I was not 100% certain. I began to sway back and forth to see if I could feel the shift. It just felt like swaying, though. Still curious I opted to just leave my body and see what would happen.

So I turned to my left and stood up from my seated position. I disconnected and moved easily toward the window. On the way to the window I took off a pair of black sunglasses (not wanting to be seen, not wanting to see something, darkened vision) but my vision was not an issue. I could see clearly and vividly the window and white blinds in front of me. I unlocked the window and pulled it up. Then I went through the window to the porch roof. As I steadied myself I thought, “I don’t want to do the same thing I always do.” Then I said aloud, “I want to know what nourishes my soul.” I said this as I looked up at a brilliant night sky. In the center was a glowing full moon.

I stood there staring at the moon for a bit and thinking my intention again: “Show me what nourishes my soul.” Then I thought to myself, “Why am I asking that question?” lol And then I thought, “Now what do I do? Do I just wait for an answer?” With that thought I could feel the scene destabilize. I did not fight it because I was confused as to why I asked such a question. Where did it come from? Weird!

As I returned to my body I knew the answer: Love. I thought, “Duh! I know that!” lol

Lingering in the remaining vibrations, part of a song came to mind: “Two strangers in the [dark night] bright lights….” I messed up the lyrics and thought “dark night”. Here is the song:

Surprised that I even went OOB, I was unable to return to sleep and just lingered with the song going though my mind while I mulled over my dream. I remember thinking about nourishing my soul with love. It made me feel a bit sad and I began to feel depressed over the whole idea of living the rest of my life hungry….starving even.

In response to my growing despair at ever finding the nourishment I need, I heard, “Don’t give up.”

Considerations

I had not expected to have such a revealing dream after yesterday’s decision to not fall victim to over-analyzing dream content. The dream says a lot about my path, my concerns and considerations regarding my path/life.

Meeting my “brother” and then knowing I had many, many “brothers” was interesting as well. It feels like my human self is trying to make sense of the connection I have with others. In the dream it felt like “brother” was a relative very similar to a half-brother or sister. The same “father”, which if you think about it, indicates that everyone in this world is our Spirit sibling. We all come from the same father-God-One-Source.

I am obviously struggling with the wogs – unawakened – here on Earth, and how they are caught up in materialism, over-indulgence and selfishness. It is akin to the world being covered in pig shit. LOL It is made clear to me that they (my family, the human race) wants me to “relocate” and do my job (meaning get my ass into gear doing my Earth work instead of hiding from it). My job seems to be taking the “shit”, cleaning it up and containing it. Ha!

It is dreams like this one that I wish I could remember what was actually being said rather than bringing back just symbolism. The feeling is there but it does not completely compute. There is still the question, “So I am here to help, but HOW?” Cleaning up pig shit I guess. LOL

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Dreams, Tears and Finality

Meant to post yesterday on 11/11 but had a rough start and then got distracted as the day progressed. Had many realizations hit me on the 10th and then that evening had some difficulties that I won’t speak of on here because I don’t feel as “safe” on WP to be fully open about some of my private life as I do on Blogger. I will post a more personal account on Blogger later today if I have time.

Just a note: I find it interesting that though WP is what everyone polled said they preferred, I find I get 1/3 or less of the page views here that I do on Blogger. I get likes and comments on WP, which is nice for the interaction and I wish I could get that on Blogger, too, but the stats say it all. For example, my last post on Blogger got 60 views the day it was posted. My last one here on WP got 10. HUGE difference. Not sure why the difference, though.

Tears, Dreams and Finality

Like I’ve mentioned previously, I’ve been so involved in the mundane that spiritual messages tend to come from synchronicities and the like and are much less direct than they have been in the past. I think I miss messages throughout my day and don’t consciously recognize them as such until later when suddenly I am in the Know and am hit with a realization. This is what happened on the 10th and then yesterday. It was just a Knowing as pieces of memories mixed with syncs kept bombarding me until I recognized the message.

The night of the 10th was rough and then when I woke I had been crying in my dreams again. Basically it all began with FB showing me memories and these memories were like the nail that sealed the coffin before burial – burial of a process, of me, of something that I don’t even have words for. As it is I have been struggling to find something – anything – to look forward to in my life so that I want to get out of bed in the morning. Lately I just want to stay in bed and dream because in my dreams the heavy feeling of life is gone and I feel free to be myself and experience joy and love in a very real way. Even if I end up in tears from my dreams it is better than when I experience them in waking reality. There is a deeper understanding and acceptance of the emotion than when I am awake.

My dreams the night of the 10th were a hodgepodge of strangeness. In them there seemed to be an attempt from my guidance to find something for me to look forward to, some goal or aspiration to keep me going a bit longer.

In one dream I was in a plastic surgery office considering a boob job (lol) and though it was appealing to me to further create on my body I rejected it because, well, it is just a body and will get old regardless of how much I try and stall the aging process.

In another dream I had been thrown into a pit completely naked (exposed). There was a woman/man with me and she/he was my friend. I was also both male and female. This other person was there to help and as I fell to the ground in tears she/he placed a blanket (warmth, security) over me and asked me to look at the exit behind us. It was a tunnel (brand new awareness) through the earth. She/he explained the tunnel was dug by me and meant for my escape.

Finally, in yet another dream, I was cleaning a bathroom (purification) that had layers and layers of dust (neglect) on it. There was an old computer (communication) that had fingerprints inside the monitor. There were also small figurines – toys – that I picked up and placed to the side. One was of am injured pony (playful aspect of self), another of a child (inner child), and yet another of a woman. The woman seemed to show relief as I united them all. I placed her carefully in the lap of another. I then saw the figure turn and look at me and then lean back with relief as she rested in the arms of the other. I remember thinking, “She is alive!”

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Dream: A Lifetime in Dreamtime

Last night’s dreams were unexpected, specifically one. In this dream I was inside what appeared to be a medical-like setting with many rooms and hallways laid out as if in a high-rise office building. I was in a room with a man alongside another man who was holding a pointer in his hand while he referred to several monitors/screens in front of us. The monitors were full of data about my life. It is hard to recall the specifics of the data now but I do know it was about my relationship with my husband and how it was designed to play out in a certain way. It irks me that I can’t remember it now! I was very matter-of-fact regarding this info and acknowledged my responsibility and part in everything even those things that normally I would refute.

The man with the pointer asked me some questions that I recall vividly. In one question he said, “Do you remember what your role is here?” I looked at my husband in the dream and said, “Hmmmm. I believe he is a PA (as physician assistant).” Then I laughed out loud and said, “That is fitting!” What is funny is my husband appeared to be anaten (unaware or unconscious). I watched as he walked into another room. He was wearing all white, doctor’s garb.

I was questioned again about my role. I said after some contemplation, “I am a geneticist.” Knowing this pleased me and I laughed with understanding. With continued prompting I remembered: “This is my life when I sleep…..and when I sleep here I go there (as in physicality).” Remembering this cued lucidity and a full-on Knowing came to me as if I had all along been asleep to finally awaken to a brand new day.

There was more discussion after this. Mostly I remember being in complete agreement to my two lives and knowing that both existed independently of the other. In one I was a scientist – geneticist specifically – studying the “human genome”. In another I was living a human life as an experiment of theory and varying hypotheses. My husband in this life was chosen as my partner in both settings, literally “assisting” me in my scientific studies. I saw where I went to enter into this physical lifetime – a small room with a bed that consisted pf a hard, white rectangular platform that came out of the wall when a button was pushed. When I laid down on the platform I would transfer to physical reality.

Eventually the discussion and growing lucidity woke me and I lay stunned in my bed feeling strangely surreal. It felt so real that my husband in this lifetime was merely a coworker in the other reality, one who I was working with to achieve a specific result. Memory hit me of a beautiful swirl of stars and galaxies as viewed through the domed glass of a craft of some sort. It was clear I had not been in an “office building” at all but on board a large ship.

Despite all of this memory my mind was not changed. I still did not want to continue with this physical reality, “experiment” or not, and requested it be concluded. The reply was that to leave physicality was not an exit at all but merely a transition to the other reality permanently for a certain period of time and then a continuation of the experiment. You can image my disappointment at hearing this. lol Yet I understood without question. There is no end to any one reality, just a shift to another one. It’s as normal as the blinking of an eye and the “time” between transition the same.

I fell into the in-between and back into the long, white hallways of the ship. While there I continued to talk with my “teacher” but my perception shifted to a point outside of myself. There I saw my human body morph and change into a more angular version that glowed a golden hue that did not hurt my eyes. I could not make out any particular facial or bodily characteristics because the golden glow was so intense. With this came a memory that all human characteristics of this other reality were superimposed over the appearances of myself and others there to ensure acceptance of and corroboration with the human mind’s capabilities.

Once again I awoke and requested the “experiment” be concluded. And once again I drifted off.

Image result for image of canariesVarious Other Dreams

I was inside a large school (learning) setting working with students who were younger than me but appeared my same age. One in particular was smitten with me and kept by my side. I took my students into a room and was shown a large nest of spiders. Inside the nest were baby spiders (new or recent relationship) mixed with red wasps (negativity). I advised them to “burn the entire room”.

We entered a building and upon entry I was warned by a colleague dressed in black robes to be mindful of my smitten student as I could easily mislead him. I understood straight away as I recognized my own tendency to “play” with his very masculine, human side. So, I disconnected from him to keep him safe understanding my role as teacher and it’s implications to a “young new mind”.

Then I went into a large auditorium (need to learn something) and awaited a presentation. I sat down at a row of seats and opened my notebook to take notes. Then flames (invest self in efforts) burst forth from between the seats and I had to move my robe (I was wearing a black robe like a professor) and batted out the fire with it. I listened as the presenter, an acclaimed gentleman who was the founder of some specific technology that would help mankind, list out four “graduates”. He said there were 6 more slots to be filled. My understanding was that these graduates were “Masters” and that there were few in attendance on Earth these days. It appeared the speaker was inviting those in attendance to fill the other 6 seats, like a challenge being presented. I felt uncomfortably out of place, like a total novice. A freshman in a room full of seniors.

Again the dream shifted. I was in a room where there was an over sized statue of Buddha (finding calmness and inner strength) laying on his said. It was a dark, reddish color and I reached down to touch it. It felt like jelly. I asked a question and the statue spoke to me saying, “Please keep it down. You are hurting my ears.” I whispered an apology in awe that the statue was talking. I understood the statue was there as my mentor.

I then shifted into a dream where I was walking the hallways of a very ancient school. I seemed to be taking a tour but was unsure of what I was looking for. I distinctly recall walking past an open cage with ten or twelve small, colorful canaries (happiness, harmony, new relationship) sitting atop it. I was wearing green garden gloves (how I handle things) and they flocked to my hand looking for food. Yet they could not fly (restriction). Once, when I turned back to show a young girl the birds, I saw the mother bird being attacked by another bird. She was huge compared to the babies, the size of a chicken (cowardliness) , and could not fly either. All of them were flightless and I was sad for them.

 

 

Eleven

I forgot that if I want it and ask for it – demand it – it will be received. Silly me!

Yesterday, I wrote in my blog post that I was done with the funk I was feeling and no longer wanted it. This morning I woke up feeling normal. Rather than linger in my bed I wanted to get up immediately. I felt good. What a difference from the last few days!

All because I told the universe that I was done. Ahh, the power of intention!

Eleveneye-light

This is my last day of freedom from the workaday world. Tomorrow I start my new job. So this morning, even though I wanted to get out of bed, I lingered, taking advantage of the little me time I had.

At first I couldn’t sleep and I just tossed and turned thinking about how good I felt and how different I was perceiving things. Everything seemed so much better! The day was not dreaded. The painful heartbreak longing for Home no longer palpable.What a relief! I also felt that September would not be as bad as August. The heavy cloud of negativity and emotionality dissipating.

I must have begun to doze because my thoughts became 3D images which blended into music and color that was vividly clear. I found myself inside a two story house laying in bed. I suddenly became very aware that I was late and needed to get up. I opened my eyes and saw my brother standing over me, smiling and in a very relaxed mood. He said, “Hey, don’t you think you should get up? Its 11a.m.?” Seeing him and hearing him say the time put me in a frenzy and I immediately got up and began looking for my daughter. I also gave him a piece of my mind, asking how he could have let us all sleep so late. I had specifically set the alarm for 6:15a.m. My daughter was suppose to be at the bus stop at 7a.m. If we hurried, we could get her to school before mid-day. I also told him he needed to get ready for school as well. He was likely late, too!

While I was rushing about in this house, I got a very peculiar feeling that something was was not quite right. Where was my husband? Why was I talking to my brother? What was this house? Yet I went through the motions of the dream anyway, letting it continue. My confusion had not awakened me to the fact that I was dreaming….yet.

For some reason, I kept looking at the clock to check the time. It said 11:00 every time I looked. One time I thought it said 1:00 only to check again and see it was 11:00. The whole time I felt this urgency. I was late!

I noticed my mother’s dog following me around. She needed to go potty. I told my brother he needed to take her out, but he ignored me. Finally, I decided I would have to do it and began trying to remember if there was a fence or if I would have to put her leash on. I couldn’t remember. I asked my brother and he just laughed at me like I was nuts. Then I thought, of course there is a fence and remembered a picket white fence around the front. But what about the rest of the yard? Was there fencing?

I thought hard and recalled seeing a fence around the back and a road coming in – the driveway. To the side was a construction entrance, though, with a huge metal building. To the other side of the house was a wire fence that was horizontally spaced to where anyone could cross through. It would not keep a dog in. On the other side of it was a hotel.

I went outside with the dog as I was recalling the layout around the house and looked around. The feeling was that I was in Alaska. Alaska?? I began to panic. It was nice now, but what about later, when the snow came? I didn’t want to drive in that stuff again!

The panic I felt caused me to become very aware of my surroundings and lucidity hit me very suddenly. I got calm and stared up at the massive trees, their branches coming down near me. I looked at the huge, green leaves and they sparkled and glimmered as if they were dusted with glitter.

Then I was in my bed and I heard music. I listened to it while I watched a huge leaf shine in front of me, totally mesmerized by the leaf. Then I realized I was hearing music and I must be about to exit my body. The instant I realized it I also decided I didn’t want to leave my body. The instant I decided this, the music stopped and it was very quiet. I also could no longer see the leaf.

I lay there thinking about how I had the opportunity to leave my body, but I kept wanting to get up and out of bed. I wanted to start my day. I felt the familiar buzzing of energy that told me I could still leave, but I kept making the same decision. I wanted to get up.

11-11Geckos and 11:11

I feel clearer today than I have in a long time. It is really quite a difference and I am not sure what exactly happened to cause it. I know the energy is shifting again, I wrote about it yesterday, but this morning I can feel it. It is very obvious. But I wonder, was this shift in energy caused by my decision to not feel how I was feeling or was it caused by some universal energy shift? Or both?

I have been seeing 11:11 on the clock quite a bit lately. I just ignored it mostly because it is not uncommon for me to notice the number. However, after having the lucid dream this morning, I wonder if perhaps there was more to it?

I am also seeing more geckos. I actually saw one last night. He ran across the floor in front of me and I captured him and let him go outside. He was bigger than most I have seen and such a pretty shade of pink. Pink!

Interestingly, both the number 11 and gecko totem send the message. The gecko says pay attention to your dreams and your intuition. The number 11 also reminds us to pay attention to our intuition – specifically that it is time to connect to our higher self in order to know our mission and purpose in this life. Eleven is the number of spiritual awakening and enlightenment. So that feeling I had this morning of getting up and the message in my dream that I was late and needed to be somewhere went hand in hand with the number 11.

Dog

It is also interesting to me that I had a dog with me yesterday during one dream and again encountered a dog in this one. To see a dog in your dream symbolizes intuition, loyalty, and protection. Whenever I see a dog in my dreams it reminds me that I am not alone and my guides are there assisting me in whatever way I need. It is a message that my guides will not leave my side and will offer protection when I need it.

Big Picture

As I absorb this new feeling – which is very similar to how I felt back in May – I think I am starting to better understand what is going on with me. It is hard to put into words and I am not completely sure I could put it into words just yet anyway. The main message is that I need to trust and follow the guidance I receive, however I receive it. I also need to be prepared to make choices that will be outside my comfort zone, though acceptable once my ego is put in check. I also understand that I am in no way obligated to make any changes or choices – it is all up to me. And that I can change my mind at any time.