Chapter 12

As you know, I’ve been reading Dolores Cannons’ Convoluted Universe. I am on book 2 now and just finished Chapter 12.

Chapter 12 brought about some validation for some of my own life experiences. A woman’s account of work while here on Earth resonated very deeply with me. I recognized so much of myself in her.

She described herself as a “Helper” who came to Earth to assist others with the shift. Her primary job was to help those transitioning after death. She did this both in the physical and in the in-between. She did soul retrieval, but she didn’t call it that. She described it as preparing those who were about to die so they could have an easy transition and then helping those after they died to go to those waiting to help them transition.

I do not think I do this type of soul retrieval, but it is fascinating nonetheless. However, the woman said some things that I believe are true for me as well.

  1. Her “Home” is of the “golden light”. I see and experience this golden light often in my OOB travels. I wonder if this, too, is my Home?
  2. She describes the ascended masters as having a different energy that is of all colors. She mentioned silver and I remembered when Eron described himself as “Silver” to me. They assist the “helpers” with the energy they are working with.
  3. When asked her purpose she said “to help”. Since my early years I have remembered my purpose to be only “to help”. It has long frustrated me because it seems to simple and not specific enough.
  4. She speaks of a transition coming for everyone on Earth. Those like her, who came to help, will go Home after this transition while others will go to places that align with their energy. “Home” is this beautiful garden full of light beings. I have seen this garden and many times when I see my guides they show themselves as made of Light.
  5. Her past lives, which her physical self remembers, are not specifically hers but all “pieces” of her whole Self which reunited to assist her in this life; giving her what she needed to do her work. This felt familiar to me.
  6. The beginning stages of her life were to prepare her for her work. She had made agreements to help certain people, some of these agreements felt to her to be “bad things” she did but it was these “bad things” that she had agreed to do. I have been told this about my own life.
  7. She described those who were Helpers who worked with the in denser, darker energy. She said she did not like this and preferred to work with those of lighter energy. I, however, can relate to those who work with the denser energy because she said they “can see the light” in those surrounded in darkness. This explains my attraction for the kids in the juvenile system and others like them.

There is another individual doing similar work whose Higher Self describes how he leaves his body at night to go Home and learn lessons (go to school). What I related most to was that the HS said that one way this man could identify when he had been OOB was that when he was IN his body he would feel Hot and when he was OOB he would feel cold. Lately, when I awake in the mornings I am very hot, hot to the point that I am sweaty and cannot cool down. There are also times I wake in the night freezing only to fall to sleep and then wake up burning hot. This has not always been the case with me. In fact, I spent most of my 20s and 30s very, very cold at night, especially my feet and hands. I wonder now if this was because I was not completely IN my body?

What was most profound for me in reading this chapter was that my knowingness about my purpose was validated. I repeated to myself, “I am here to help” and was covered in warm energy that made me want to cry. There was also mention of how there is not much time left. This has been something I have heard since June 2014. I need to hurry up and get to work! Yet I have no idea what that is. I asked last night to be told. I told my Team I was ready. But I got a feeling I was not. Fear rose up inside me, fear that I would have to leave my family. So much fear that I cried. I was told I did not have to leave them, but apparently this is holding me back at the moment. I don’t understand but I know it will be figured out.


Question for You

What if you were moving to a far-away place, so far that you would never be able to come back to visit family and friends. What would you do to prepare?

Message from Robert: Data Transfer and Current Task

Again I awoke at 5:30am to a message from my guide. This time it was not E’Fonin but Robert.

Data Transfer

I received yet again data in the form of very fast moving symbols. This time, they did not come from above but rather from the left and moved across very quickly to the right. It was like they were being streamed to me and they came in lines, not dissimilar to stanzas of music except that there were four lines instead of five. The stanzas were golden and shimmered. The symbols I could not isolate or differentiate but occasionally a word or two would appear above the lines of code as if to communicate the main topic being relayed.

As I received the information I understood what it was that I was being asked to do. The words I saw triggered this knowingness. I don’t remember them now, though. All I recall is that the task at hand had to do with detaching from anchor points that I had established in this life. These “anchor points” are what connects me to certain energies in this world. These energies can be people, places and things, but usually they are much more diverse than just a single space or person in a lifetime.

It was explained to me that the particular anchor points I need to detach from are connected to my mother and the home I lived in from 1986 to 1996. The home is not the original anchor point, my mother is, but since she resides there even now, the home has also been associated. This is why many of my OBEs originate in this location.

So I have work to do and this was acknowledged without hesitation. I do not consciously know of any specific issues I need to resolve with my mother and so questioned Robert on this. His response was to show me.

I saw in front of me a fabric satchel, brown in color. I picked it up and it was so heavy it pulled me down. I said, “It’s heavy!” and Robert said, “Yes”. I then understood that this satchel represented all the weight that was carried by me pertaining to my mother and the location where she currently lives.

It was explained that this weight “holds me down” energetically. It was understood that this weight is the weight of karma needing to be released. It was also understood that it was primarily her karma that needed releasing, not mine. Yet, I also had some to release but it was shown to me that it had to do with my deep connection to my mother, an empathic connection which caused me to shoulder my mother’s karmic debt. It is not easy to relate what I was told but in essence it means that I took on responsibility for her karma – to help her.

It was relayed to me that it is very important that I handle this soon, while she is still alive. I asked how, but was not told how. Instead I was told that it would be made known when the time was right. There was an understanding that some of it would be done in another dimension and/or during dream time.

Roles of the Various Guides/Assistants

I asked where E’Fonin was and I was told, “It is time to work in the physical now”. I had been told this before but this time its meaning clicked.

Robert and other guides/assistants like him come to work with Earth travelers like myself to help them with karmic debt and physical incarnation lessons/goals/purpose. Energetically, they are more suited to work with denser energies of this realm. When Robert told me, “It is time to work in the physical” he meant that it is time to resolve physical realm lessons and meet goals previously set to be accomplished via physical form.

E’Fonin and others like him are tasked with our spiritual evolution. They are primarily concerned with raising our vibration so that we can move on from our current, lower energetic state. It is like they are giving us an evolutionary nudge, or in this case “jump”. Therefore, E’Fonin and others like him come only when a spiritual adjustment is being made (chakras, energy attunement and balancing, multidimensional work, Higher Self infusion, etc).

My Current Physical World Task

I am told, “It is time to tie up loose ends so that you can move forward”. In this message I see an unburdening of the Self, kind of like throwing off of heavy clothing except that it it is the actual dissolution of denser energy patterns which we all carry with us. These energy patterns are intricately linked to various other energy patterns of those who we develop strong emotional bonds with over many lifetimes. Sometimes these bonds get so knotted together that we lose sight of our own energy patterns (lessons/karma) and get caught up in those of others. This results in us working to untangle our energy from theirs.

To most, this will seem to dissolve emotional bonds we have with those we love the most. Yet it is not a complete dissolution but rather a cleansing or freeing up of energy so that we can better assist them and ourselves. How can one move freely in life toward their set intentions if they are dragging along the energy of others?

If you can imagine having a large weight chained to your ankle and then multiple that by ten or twenty you would come close to the amount of dense energy we are caught up in. And what’s worse is that we desperately hold onto this “weight”, willing to drag it along with us, because we believe it IS us.


I am currently reading Dolores Cannon’s Convoluted Universe Book 2. As I read it, I am getting validation of visions and information I previously was given.

In Chapter 9, which I read last night, Ms. Cannon takes an individual to a past life in which they and their group were rescued from an Earth cataclysm by Beings from space. The individual relates how once on board the ship they could see what was happening to Earth. What she described was what I saw in a recent vision – a vision of Earth as a ball of fire and smoke, churning much like the surface of the sun.

When I read this I held my breath and started to cry. I knew that had I read this book last year that I would not have believed it. I would have thought it all fanciful ideas that had no relevancy to me or my life. Yet now, I read it and I understand. It is happening again and I am here to assist with the preparation.

I cried because I knew it was true but also because I know it will be much more than just Earth changes. There will be war and devastation. I cried because I love Earth and humanity and I do not want to lose hope that they can be saved. But I know this is to be. It is part of the Divine Plan.

As I have been reading more of the book, I am becoming more and more accepting of what I have been told. I was doubting it, but that doubt is erasing. There is something huge coming, something unlike anything humanity has ever experienced (this line of humanity anyway). My entire Being contracts in thinking about it. There is a deep, inner pain that comes with it and I do not like it nor do I want to acknowledge it. But the more I acknowledge it, the more I am freed from it and can get to work.

Message from E’Fonin

Early this morning at 2:30ish I awakened suddenly from a deep sleep. I no longer remember the dream I was having so I suppose it is not important. However, I began to receive communication from E’Fonin immediately upon waking. Since the message was coming in strong, I actually got up and wrote it down.

Message from E’Fonin

We have awakened you to pass on valuable information and explanation pertaining to the processes you must go through.

You have eaten red meat. This is not ideal. The energetic makeup of animals is out of alignment with your own and so ingestion their meat should be avoided in order to maintain balance. It is ideal for you to consume only fruit and vegetables at this time because the animals of your time are not properly raised and their meat not properly prepared. In the past instructions were given on how to raise and prepare the meat of animals, but this information was lost over thousands of years. Your Bible is the closest record of these preparations. The “sacrifices” mentioned therein are remnants of a purification system for the cleansing of the energies of animals for safe consumption. Animals were allowed then to roam freely and only the youngest, most pure were selected for consumption. Thus, you must cleanse yourself of the energetic contaminants left behind by your recent meat consumption. As you do so, we will continue to adjust and align your energies. This must be done frequently.

It is of greatest importance that you do not consume the meat of any creature with eyes that face forward (predator). One example of this is swine. The energy of such a predatory animal is so out of balance with your own energy as to require extensive manipulation and purification in order to restore balance.

In this communication I saw visuals in my mind’s eyes that communicated much more than the words alone. I saw in my mind an image of a pig very clearly depicting the position of the eyes. In this I felt a heaviness and a lethargy. I was asked if noticed this change in my energy and I replied that I did and it became very clear to me how my own energy had changed in the two days since I began to eat more meats (chicken, beef, lamb). I also recalled the warning feeling I received at lunch yesterday when I had a Greek Gyro. I ignored it but later saw that a Falafel version had been available had I just requested it. I was most embarrassed, however, by my ingestion of two hot dogs the day before. I knew it was wrong but ignored it purposefully, justifying it by thinking, “A little won’t hurt me”.

I also saw images of a small lamb being sacrificed when E’Fonin was discussing the Bible. There was also the word, “Kosher” that came to mind. It occurred to me that the only close approximation to the proper preparation of meat was still practiced by the Jewish people. Interesting.

I asked about fish and was immediately shown the contaminant their meat contained. Apparently every biological organism on the planet is contaminated by a very heavy, sluggish energy (this includes us). Plants and grains appear to have been spared because of their reliance on the Sun for their “food” or energy. Also very interesting.

So it is back to eating only fruits and vegetables. I struggle with this because I have three children who crave meat. My consideration of this was met with the image of an egg. So eggs it is.

It Has Begun

I’ve been up since 3:30am.

I was having a cool semi-lucid dream where I was running along a country road alone in the evening. The sun was setting and I decided to turn around before it got too dark. As I turned, I saw a mother javelina (wild pig) with her piglets. I avoided her, knowing they can be fierce.

As I ran I saw another mother pig and her babies. And another after that. One turned around and acted like she was going to follow me. I made a huffing noise at her to keep her at bay. Then I stopped and decided to confront her. I turned toward her and that is when I was awakened.

I heard my guide say, “It has begun”.

I heard the song, “Age of Aquarius” and began singing it in my head. I couldn’t get it out of my head.

Not interested in waking up, I told my guide to please let me just dream the message. I said, “I want to sleep”.

As I began to drift, I heard, “On the eve of the full moon”.

This woke me again. I knew the entire message was to expect something to begin on the eve of the full moon. “Is this considered the eve or is it tomorrow night?”, I wondered to myself.

Settling, I began to drift off again.

I heard, “Veinte-four”.

I knew this meant, “24” and wondered why they said it in partial Spanish. What is with me always hearing Spanish?

I drifted once again and heard, “There is a test in 24 hours. Are you ready?”.

I awoke, and responded, “I guess so”. Then I told this voice (I didn’t recognize it), “Please let me sleep”.

Again, I drifted.

Then very distinctly I heard, “A second wave is coming”.

“What?” I thought back, wide awake yet again.

“What does this wave mean? What is going to happen?” I wondered.

Restless, I began to drift again.

Then I heard very clearly, “Re-Creation – the fruits of hybridization”.

Awake yet again I caught the phrase thought, “That sounds like something Bashar would say”.

I tried to go back to sleep but felt that I needed to write it all down. “Maybe then you will let me sleep?” I thought.

After writing it down, I tried to sleep but couldn’t. I felt the urge to just get up and write down my questions and the answers I received. I chose not to, hoping instead that I would get some sleep.

“Why are you doing this?” I asked.

“To prepare you”, he said.

“Okay, okay, I’m prepared already!” I thought back to him. “Can I please get some sleep now?”

“You don’t need sleep”, I heard in response to my thought. For some reason I knew this to be true.

Then I asked, “When is the next ‘wave’?”

I heard, “January”.

I felt I should write it down. I didn’t and told my Team (who I could feel distinctly by this time), “I will remember it when I write down the message about the second wave”. I nearly forgot it despite this, though.

Continuing, my thoughts went back to the information I had just received. I knew these “waves” were waves of energy that contained messages, or “transmissions”.  In response to this memory, I was told these transmissions act as memory triggers for the Starseeds. With this, I saw the familiar vision of millions of tiny stars falling to the Earth – not meteorites but Beings from the stars. I asked, “How many [Starseeds] are there?” I heard back, “4 million”.

Unfortunately, I did not get back to sleep. My youngest awoke and began to run through the hallway screaming and running into doors in anger. I had to get up and hold him. I wondered as I held him if he was a Starseed. Perhaps he is receiving the transmissions, too? Maybe that is why he is so clingy and possessive of me. He thinks he is going to lose me.

I tickled his tiny toes and snuggled up against him for the next 45 minutes as he drank his bottle and played with my hands, clasping and unclasping my finger. “There is nothing more wonderful than this”, I thought. “Perfection”.

A Sign

Later in the morning, after I had long given up on sleep, I saw something tiny on the floor. Curious, I picked it up. It was a teeny, tiny perfectly square piece of paper. On it was printed a triangle and inside it was the number 5. I thought about it being significant but then nearly threw it out, thinking I must be making it up. Yet I had the feeling it was significant in some way. So I snapped a picture of it and posted it to FB.

Not long after I posted it, I received input from a friend. She said the 5 could be for the 5th dimension but also that the symbol could be something called the Yahyel – the 5th hybrid race, each one represented by a triangle. She explained that it came from Bashar whose civilization is the 3rd hybrid race.

You can’t get anymore confirmation than that now can you? Wow.

Physical Manifestations of Integration

I am having some physical manifestations of the integration process. I was about to call them “symptoms” but that word didn’t feel right. These are not symptoms as much as they are the results of the shifting of the cellular structure of the physical vessel.

In the last week I have had a resurgence of manifestation phenomena. This is what I have noted thus far:

  • Major skin changes to include: eczema, rashes/allergic reactions, and acne issues
  • Sleep disturbances
  • Odd dreams
  • Disconnect from guides/Team
  • Hot flashes
  • Emotional roller coaster
  • Lack of motivation
  • Lower back ache
  • Upper back tension
  • Extremely clear vision
  • Loss of appetite
  • Craving raw vegetables
  • Avoidance of social situations
  • Irritability
  • Feeling I have not slept despite 9+ hours of sleep
  • Congestion (have had this going on 3 weeks as have other family members)
  • Decrease in buzzing sensations in third eye and crown, though third eye will occasionally buzz

The most annoying of these is the sleep disturbances and skin issues. I do not feel rested in the morning and am now considering taking Benadryl again to try and correct this. The skin changes have come on suddenly and out of the blue. The eczema came first, followed by a nasty acne breakout. I visited the dermatologist who once again blamed it on stress. Then yesterday I got hives on my upper thighs and rear from an allergic reaction of some sort. It is still bothering me today and feels hot and stingy. Makes it difficult to sit! lol

The Connection is Not Lost

Despite feeling disconnected from my guides/Team, I was able to establish communication with my Companion briefly last night. It was only via my heart chakra that I was able to do this and the communication was more feeling than mental.

I recognized that I needed to do my part and had been slipping up. I was told I am being observed, which kind of made me feel like I am in the midst of a “test”. However, I felt the observations were crucial to the process to make sure that I was properly prepared for what was to come next. I kept thinking of the idiom, “Slow and steady wins the race”.

Be patient. Have persistence. Tune into the heart. Tune out the mind. Listen.

I once again tuned into my heart space this morning upon waking. I did this because I am so tired of waking up in a bad mood and I was reminded that I choose how I feel. I saw the mind chatter of the Ego instantly. It said, “I don’t want to wake up. I hate my life. Take me Home.” These thoughts set up my entire day and I was not having it! Tuning into my heart shut them down quickly and I felt instantly a shift in perspective. It was like I pulled out the hidden me and shifted her to the forefront.

I have been calm and pleasant ever since. I see clearly that I have been duped by the Ego once again.

I so easily forget the destruction the Ego can bring with her selfish demands, instant gratification and avoidance techniques. She makes me Forget and that is perhaps her worst trait.

Re-Writing the Self

My personal period of rest and rejuvenation continues. I am told this is widespread, that I am not alone in this.

There has been a slight increase, however, in communication from my Team and the night before last I actually did have a brief moment of contact with my Council. Unfortunately, the excessive exhaustion I am experiencing makes the memory of such events a blur and increases my disinterest significantly. All I want to do is fall back into the wonderful drowsy feeling of deep, uninterrupted sleep.

Messages Received

The messages I have received through these brief communications are short and to the point.

Message from Council, August 6, 2:30am.

“We are here. We will bring you Home soon”.

“When?”, I asked but got no response. I felt, though, the presence of 12 in Spirit around me, which I have not felt in some time.

Message from Companion, August 4, around 10pm

I suddenly felt a calm descend upon me, indicating my Companion was near. I was instructed to focus on my heart and the feeling intensified.

I was told, “You can receive at any time”. With this came a knowing that I could open up and “download” information from my Council whenever I chose. This was an ability I had not been using, thinking it was done to me rather than me initiating it at will.

I had been feeling as if I were about to “die” all day and this thought returned. With it was a knowing that I would be shifting out of the pilot’s seat again.

I asked, “Will it be the same?”

I heard, “No”.

I briefly had a mental picture of a bowl and spoon with the action of folding in ingredients slowly and recognized this to mean this shift was part of that process.

Then next day I experienced being gently pushed back as my Higher Self resumed control briefly. It was indeed a different experience.

Message from Council this morning

“You are re-writing the Self”.

I have since had a strong desire to rid myself of “baggage” I have been carrying around. This baggage is more figurative such as disconnecting from people from my past who I no longer feel a connection. It comes with a re-evaluation of who I am. I am asking questions again such as, “Does this align with my purpose?” and “Does this feel right for me?”

Sudden Knowing

I have been feeling that I will be “directed” toward my purpose or “work” in this life. I keep seeing myself as working to help people move from the “dark” to the “light”. The “dark” being they are sleep-walking through life. The “light” being they wake up and recognize they have been asleep. I do not force my help and many times it will completely go unnoticed.

This type of work is not only my purpose in this life but in future lives as well.

To clarify – being directed is not being told what to do but rather being led by feeling or synchronicity. I sense that this will involve a feeling of moving aside to allow my Higher aspect in.