The question I had asked about the pole confusion in my dream was answered in the following dream.
Dream: Finding True North
In this dream I was in the water with a bunch of classmates and we were retrieving rocks from the sea floor. I remember selecting a few that were pretty and two large completely clear cubes.
When we brought them to the surface we gave them to our teacher who was a scientist of great renown. I never saw this teacher but heard about him.
At this point the scene shifted and I was inside my mom’s house in her bedroom and in her bed. I was very tired and struggled to keep my eyes open.
I knew there had been a wedding and guests were still present. A woman came into the bedroom and snuggled up next to me. I assumed she was one of the guests.
I turned to look at her but did not recognize her at all. She had long, flowing dirty blonde hair and was a bit chubby. She appeared to be fairly young but she had been crying so it was hard to tell. I asked her why she was crying and she said, “You didn’t help me.” I tried to tell her that I would have helped had I known she needed it but she would not listen.
Then I was back with my classmates discussing the rocks we picked up. We continued the discussion of the warring nations of a long forgotten Earth (my last dream). The rocks were to be carved into pendants. The two crystal cubes I found were especially special. I inspected one for some time. I don’t remember now why they were special.
Then I noticed one of my guides standing in the shadows. He was holding in his hand one of the pendants made from a mineral or rock whose name now eludes me. I remember discussing the name at length, too! Anyway, he showed me this pendant made from this mineral. It was red with splotches of a dark brown on it and very pretty. It had been cut extremely thin and was quite beautiful. He put the pendant on the necklace and then said, “Look. What happens?” He put the necklace onto something I could not see so that it hung down like a pendulum. The pendulum began to swing on its own in very wide, clockwise circles.
I knew instantly what was happening. “It is pointing to True North” I said.
I was then in a totally different scene. I was inside what appeared to be a large communal area but it was obvious right away that it was a prison.
I was sitting at a table with a girl who was trying to do an easy algebra problem. I knew she could solve it and encouraged her to teach the others how to do it. She refused and ran away, nervous to stand in front of everyone. I decided to teach them because, well, that is what I do and I had no fear of any of it.
I began to show them but most had no knowledge of the basic algebraic rules (negative plus negative equals positive and other rules). I remember looking for a textbook to show them but none was available. The other inmates began to lose interest because they did not have the background knowledge needed to keep up with my lesson. I saw them gather into small groups.
I remember giving up and going to the tall, chain link fence that surrounded the prion. It was at least 10 feet tall, maybe higher. I kicked it a few times. It made a strange noise and I knew it was electrified.
Then I went to sit next to one of the inmates, an older man. I remember being in a very chipper mood. He had a bowl of oatmeal in front of him and I grabbed his spoon. He looked at me like, “What are you doing?” I said, “Oh, I’m sorry, can I borrow your spoon?” I put the spoon back because he looked annoyed. Then he just got up and walked away leaving me there all alone.
I went up to another inmate, a woman. Still very happy, I attempted to start a conversation with her. She ignored me.
Suddenly I felt very, very alone and sad. I turned around and began to sob into my hands. My thoughts were, “Nobody is listening to me. I just want someone to talk to. I feel so alone.” I felt hands on both my shoulders that pulled me into an embrace. I cried so hard it woke me up.
I continued to cry after waking. This song was going through my head, specifically the part “killing me softly”:
Talk with my Guide
After crying for a little while I asked my guide, “Why is this [emotional release] happening again?” He said to me, “You are listening.” It didn’t help.
Then all my dreams from the night came together and I knew that I had been following a false north. I knew that I was suppose to be doing what I had been doing in the prison dream. This is not necessarily being a “teacher”, but sharing my knowledge, my Light. Like in the dream, though, not everyone is ready for it and most do not have the background knowledge needed for my lessons to make sense. They are not ready.
I was told, “Those who are ready will listen.” But it seems like no one is listening, like no one is ready. I was reassured that some are listening. “Your job is to share your Light, your experiences. You teach to those ready to learn.” This didn’t make me feel any better. I feel like an utter failure, like no one is ready. On top of all that, what I am, what I “teach”, only makes me that much more separate from everyone else. Thus, I feel utterly and painfully alone. No amount of trying to fit in will eliminate that loneliness. I am stuck with it.
I remember Jeb had told me he would make me feel better. This is a weird way to go about it.