1997

I am finding it harder and harder to follow others communications regarding ascension. I honestly have not felt a part of this current ascension wave from the beginning but since I was experiencing kundalini again, I figured I must be.

I finally just meditated upon it, asking simply, “Am I part of the current ascension wave”. I got a distinct and resonating “No”.

I was/am not surprised. I think I knew it all along.

1997

So what wave am I a part of?

The answer was immediate as well: 1997.

Wow. I was so young then, only three years out of high school and getting married for the first time. A baby, really.

I always assumed my awakening was in 2003 because that is when my world was turned upside down. However, now that I think about it, there were many events prior to that which suggested much, much more had been going on prior to 2003.

What happened? Nothing mind-blowing, really. I met my ex-husband and, although I liked him and did love him I knew instantly that he was not the “one”. I recall having a conversation with myself about it, actually. This would have been in the Spring of 1997. I knew instantly that I would have to wait a very long time before meeting the “one” (this is what I called my current husband at the time). When I wondered when I would meet the “one” I knew it would not be until I was in my 30s. To an 18-year-old that is a painfully long wait. So I chose to marry my ex, knowing fully that I would not be with him “til death do us part”. It was not an easy decision.

I had vivid dreams the entire time I was married and recall continuing to have conversations with “myself” as I suffered through our time together. The knowingness I had back then was as strong as it is now. It is odd to think back to that time because when I remember the conversations I had with myself, all that is left is a strong knowing that I had agreed prior to this life to be with my ex, to serve a specific purpose while with him and to learn my own, difficult lessons.

Other Differences

There are other aspects of my own experiences which do not go along with what I read of the experiences of others who are ascending now.

• Spirit Guided Ascension – My guide experiences are surreal and mind blowing. I have met few who have the relationship with their guides that I do. As far as I can tell, it is not a normal ascension experience to have your guide bring you “in-between” and tell you what is to come or have conversations with you.
• Instantaneous Spiritual Ability – And when I say “instantaneous” I mean it! I did not need to learn how to use my gifts, I just knew how to use them as if I had been using them my entire life. I did not have to take a class or have a mentor, unless you count my guides and “astral classes”. 🙂 I have yet to find anyone who came into their gifts mid-life like I did. Most were either born with their gifts or were taught or developed them over time.
• OBEs – My ascension experience is very much interconnected with leaving my body. There are few (can only think of one right now) who has established a similar connection. Even in the early days, when I did mediumship readings in spiritual chatrooms, it was not common to find individuals openly discussing their astral adventures.
• Remembering – I am aware of the mile makers in my life and have been since a very early age. What I mean by this is that I remember the major aspects of my life plan. I don’t remember them all, of course, but I was always able to look ahead at specific things and see or be told what would come. I find it amazing still that I knew about my future daughter from my early teens and had her name picked out by my junior year in high school. I have since seen my husbands, other children (even though I denied the third), deaths of family members, career changes, major moves, past lives and between lives.

There are likely more differences but for now these are the main ones. I am not trying to make myself look better by pointing these out. My Ego is in check. I am merely trying to determine why I am feeling the way I am feeling towards the ascension “movement” that is so popular. As an answer, I was shown these differences and asked to consider them. Perhaps I am in a different “group” whose members I have yet to meet? That seems likely. I have met one other person (you know who you are) who I feel may be part of this unique group. I hope soon to meet the other members. If not, I am fine on my own. I like being alone (never thought I would say that! ha!).

Finally, I may just not know of others who have experienced the shift in consciousness like I have. It is very possible that there are others who have had all the above similar experiences. If you are one of them, I would love to hear form you.

Butchering Hogs

Last night was a night of odd and disturbing dreams.

Hemorrhagic Fever

I was on a school bus with a group of people. It was stopped suddenly and we were stranded for a long time. I believe for a number of months. As I waited on the bus I saw people get ill one by one. Vividly I saw them bleed out of their eyes, nose, mouth and ears. Some were vomiting blood.

I watched in horror as they died one by one. I did not get sick.

A year passed and the world was in disarray. I hid out in water, going under the surface whenever someone approached. I had left the bus and the death behind me and stayed in the safety of the water, using it to move from place to place. I recall being in the otter exhibit at the local zoo, noting that the water was now unclear.

When I awoke I felt this dream to be an omen of things to come and struggled to free myself of the dream and come back into reality after waking.

Butchering Hogs

I found myself in a field walking toward a large, white mansion with pillars. It was so large that I actually felt it was not of this Earth as it rose high into the sky like a skyscraper.

On the porch of the mansion there were people gathered and food was set out. Discussion was going on about a hog that would be butchered soon in front of all. I was concerned about this and did not want to be there when it happened. They said they were going to slice it first horizontally and then vertically. I asked, “Aren’t you just going to slit its throat”. They said, “No”. This horrified me for I knew it would suffer. As they brought out the large, pink animal I set off across the field to get as far away from it as possible.

As I walked I put my hands over my ears but could still hear the screaming of the animal. It sounded like a human and I shivered.

I came upon a man who was also walking away. He had a pig of his own and I related to him. I heard someone tell him, “If you leave now you can save your pig”.

Then the dream shifted and I was inside another building that resembled a hospital lab. Very thin specimen sheets had been cut of the pig and were being given to me. I held in front of me this paper thin part of the mid-section of “my” pig.

I watched as a woman and her daughter were given their pig in big chunks to be eaten. Then I gathered up the chunks of my own pig and prepared to cook it. I gave half of the pig to charity, though, saying I wanted it to “do some good for someone else”.

I put the pig on a set table along with other food items. It was very obvious that half the pig “pie” was missing. The people who had been at the mansion came to visit and I allowed them to join me, giving them some fried chicken. It felt as if I had made peace with them. I never ate the pig.

Note: Although I called it a “pig” in the dream, it was very obviously a “hog” as it was as large as a small horse!

Hogs symbolize abundance and can also indicate one is “hogging” everything. I believe this is true for my dream as I gave half of my “abundance” to charity.

Lights in Astral

I went to sleep upset over a Yahoo article I accidentally saw when perusing the site. The article was about a woman in Pennsylvania who died of a drug overdose and then her 9-month-old son died of starvation/dehydration along with her because no one knew she was dead for at least two weeks. I cried when I read it and then couldn’t get it out of my head. Upon sleep, I asked to astral and to stop thinking of the article.

Lights in Astral

I woke up many times in the night, all from disturbing and vivid dreams. The last time I woke I asked to astral and fell back to sleep.

I woke up within a dream and then immediately felt my body and subtle vibrations that indicate exit can occur at any time. I hesitantly rolled out of my body, worrying that I may not be aware enough. When out of body I felt the typical heavy energy that usually comes immediately upon exit. I could see but not well and so I began to move away from my body. Interestingly, I got the urge to look back at my sleeping body. I turned around and looked, seeing an empty spot on the floor of a room. My vision was clear but had that jumpy energy look that is typical of whatever level of astral I am in. I knew then that I was not in real-time and for some reason projected to my old room in my mom’s home.

I went toward the bedroom door and stopped to look at myself in the mirror as I passed. I saw myself quite clearly and without distortion but I had several small zits on my nose which are not there is real life (face is clear).

Moving on, I instantly jumped into the living area and there in front of me was my middle son wearing a bright red jumper. I watched as he walked toward me. The room was brightly lit and he was the only one there. I focused on him more and saw that it was not my middle son by my youngest. As soon as I noted this he turned around and walked away from me.

With a thought I was at the front door and out of it. I felt for a moment that maybe I should not go out but think this was me worrying more than anything.

Outside it was dark but there were lights in the distance that shown so brightly that I was in awe of them. One was on my right and bright white shining as if a car had its headlights on me. The other was to my left and was a reddish-pink color. Before I could take it all in I blurted out, “Show me what I am not seeing”. I had not intended to ask this so it surprised me that it came out of my mouth.

I watched as the light on the left changed color. The one on the right would turn golden colored and then go back to white. As I watched, a song flew from my lips. It was so intricate and lovely, yet I do not know the song now. I began to sing what I was seeing – the green light and the gold, the blue light and the gold, the green light, etc.

At some point I wanted desperately to see the light and my vision blacked out. While in this state I still sang and I grabbed the clothes from my body and tore them off. It felt like I tore off a life vest. When I did this I began to see the blue of the morning sky to my left yet at the same time on my right it was still dark and the colors continued to flash.

I then noticed my voice as I sang and thought, “I don’t sing like that”. It was an unfamiliar voice and noting it brought me back into my body quickly.

OBE Return

As soon as my awareness came back to my body I thought, “I want to go back” and rolled out again.

I was again inside my mother’s house and in front of me was my youngest child. I also felt the presence of my guide, though I could not see him. My vision was clear and bright with a golden hue to it.

I walked toward the door and this time noticed a brightly lit Christmas tree standing to the left of the door. I remember thinking it odd and then heard my guide say, “December 25th”.

We went outside to a clothesline. On the clothesline were hung two energies of individuals. One was a “father” energy and the other was a “antagonist” energy. Neither was familiar to me. I was instructed to look at them. I was asked if they could be removed and I responded, “I don’t think so”. My son said, “Look, yes they can” and pointed to a metal clip that was near the antagonist energy. He attempted to remove it and the scene went black.

OBE One Last Time

When I came into my body I again heard, “December 25th”. I said to my guide, “I want to go back”. He indicated my energy would not allow it much longer. I understood but still wanted to return.

I again rolled out of my body but could not see. I said, “Clarity now” and my vision came on, though slowly. In front of me was my youngest son clear as day and very close to me. His little face identical in every detail. I did not feel anything when I saw him, though. It was as if I was merely observing him.

I heard my guide say some things to me but most I do not remember now. The entire time he spoke my son’s face was directly in front of my own. I do recall that my guide was telling me that although I struggle with my third child, he was more a blessing to me than I knew. That is when my guide said to me, “He will be your best friend”. When I heard this I was filled with love and relief and a knowingness of my son’s purpose in my life. I reached toward my son and hugged him close to me. He then disappeared and I felt to be one with him.

I awoke in my body, my left arm numb at the bicep.

Factors Influencing Projection

Lucidity scale: 6

Intent stated?: Yes

Time to bed: 9pm

Time to wake: 11:30pm, 5:30am, 6:30am, 8am

Meditation?: No

Physical Exercise?: Yoga

Mood: normal

Body: Nasal congestion/allergies

Tiredness: Low

Number of wakings: 4

Technique?: WBTB

Sleeping position: Right side

Supplements: Multivitamin, Natural Calm 400mg, Sleepy Time Extra Tea, Biotin 1000mg, Evening Primrose Oil 1300mg