I am finding it harder and harder to follow others communications regarding ascension. I honestly have not felt a part of this current ascension wave from the beginning but since I was experiencing kundalini again, I figured I must be.
I finally just meditated upon it, asking simply, “Am I part of the current ascension wave”. I got a distinct and resonating “No”.
I was/am not surprised. I think I knew it all along.
So what wave am I a part of?
The answer was immediate as well: 1997.
Wow. I was so young then, only three years out of high school and getting married for the first time. A baby, really.
I always assumed my awakening was in 2003 because that is when my world was turned upside down. However, now that I think about it, there were many events prior to that which suggested much, much more had been going on prior to 2003.
What happened? Nothing mind-blowing, really. I met my ex-husband and, although I liked him and did love him I knew instantly that he was not the “one”. I recall having a conversation with myself about it, actually. This would have been in the Spring of 1997. I knew instantly that I would have to wait a very long time before meeting the “one” (this is what I called my current husband at the time). When I wondered when I would meet the “one” I knew it would not be until I was in my 30s. To an 18-year-old that is a painfully long wait. So I chose to marry my ex, knowing fully that I would not be with him “til death do us part”. It was not an easy decision.
I had vivid dreams the entire time I was married and recall continuing to have conversations with “myself” as I suffered through our time together. The knowingness I had back then was as strong as it is now. It is odd to think back to that time because when I remember the conversations I had with myself, all that is left is a strong knowing that I had agreed prior to this life to be with my ex, to serve a specific purpose while with him and to learn my own, difficult lessons.
There are other aspects of my own experiences which do not go along with what I read of the experiences of others who are ascending now.
- Spirit Guided Ascension – My guide experiences are surreal and mind blowing. I have met few who have the relationship with their guides that I do. As far as I can tell, it is not a normal ascension experience to have your guide bring you “in-between” and tell you what is to come or have conversations with you.
- Instantaneous Spiritual Ability – And when I say “instantaneous” I mean it! I did not need to learn how to use my gifts, I just knew how to use them as if I had been using them my entire life. I did not have to take a class or have a mentor, unless you count my guides and “astral classes”. 🙂 I have yet to find anyone who came into their gifts mid-life like I did. Most were either born with their gifts or were taught or developed them over time.
- OBEs – My ascension experience is very much interconnected with leaving my body. There are few (can only think of one right now) who has established a similar connection. Even in the early days, when I did mediumship readings in spiritual chatrooms, it was not common to find individuals openly discussing their astral adventures.
- Remembering – I am aware of the mile makers in my life and have been since a very early age. What I mean by this is that I remember the major aspects of my life plan. I don’t remember them all, of course, but I was always able to look ahead at specific things and see or be told what would come. I find it amazing still that I knew about my future daughter from my early teens and had her name picked out by my junior year in high school. I have since seen my husbands, other children (even though I denied the third), deaths of family members, career changes, major moves, past lives and between lives.
There are likely more differences but for now these are the main ones. I am not trying to make myself look better by pointing these out. My Ego is in check. I am merely trying to determine why I am feeling the way I am feeling towards the ascension “movement” that is so popular. As an answer, I was shown these differences and asked to consider them. Perhaps I am in a different “group” whose members I have yet to meet? That seems likely. I have met one other person (you know who you are) who I feel may be part of this unique group. I hope soon to meet the other members. If not, I am fine on my own. I like being alone (never thought I would say that! ha!).
Finally, I may just not know of others who have experienced the shift in consciousness like I have. It is very possible that there are others who have had all the above similar experiences. If you are one of them, I would love to hear form you.