Another Memory

I have had yet another memory resurface. This is one that has repeated and I keep forgetting it despite it repeating. So since I have time today I want to write it down before I forget.

The memory is of a conversation I had with my Companion years ago and with it came a memory of my own of an event early in this incarnation.

I was shown the work that goes on prior to birth. In this I also had memory of participating in this work. The work involved integrating with the human host. There was memory of getting the host to agree to the integration. It was a communication with the body and it communicated back!

During the integration process I was not alone. I was in the body but not the body yet. I was still settling in. The body consciousness was in the process of being formed and so I was learning how to take control of it.

There was specific focus on the brain as it was being developed (so I am in the body while it is still forming inside my mommy). I “touch” an area of the brain lovingly, tentatively. In this process my Companion is showing me how to do this, like a lesson in “How to integrate with a body”. lol

What is interesting is that the body, this tiny human body still growing and forming inside its mother, had its own consciousness. It was very limited, of course, but it was there. It had a simplistic type of consciousness. Perhaps this is in fact the Ego, but it is hard for me to tell as I only recall the surprise I had in discovering that this body had its own ability to function separately from me. The purpose in communicating with the body was to get it to agree that I was its friend; that I was helpful to have and would take care of it. It was a nurturing, loving, energy/feeling I was sending it and when accepted the link was established and then built upon. Eventually the body and me became one and my consciousness and its consciousness were permanently linked.

I remember this memory vividly and wonder sometimes if the memory is the creation of Me, the Experiencer, and what my Companion means when he said, “I created you”. If so, it is quite intriguing indeed!

Dialogue with my Companion

One of those wiped memories that suddenly returned was a conversation I had with my Companion yesterday. I wanted to share it with you all since I am confused still by it.

I asked him about Us. Who are We? Is everyone like Us? Does everyone have a Companion Traveler? Is a Companion Traveler different from a Spirit guide?

His answers were this:

Who are We?

We are two of the same individual (individual is not the right word here but is good enough). Halves of a whole. I am You and You are Me. You are the Earth Traveler and I am your Companion Traveler.

Does everyone who comes to Earth have a set up like us – Companion Traveler and Earth Traveler?

No. We are chosen to do a specific task while here and have traveled this path before. We travel always together.

Is a Companion Traveler different from a Spirit Guide?

Based upon the definition you have of spirit guide, no, but your definition is the one We provided Us previously. In terms of what most people consider a spirit guide, I am not that. You have those, though. We call them Assistants.

Are you my Higher Self?

This terminology can be very confusing in that it implies that We have a Higher and Lower Self; that We are one more important than the other. So, no, I am not your “Higher” Self, I am simply You.

Yes, You are the Me that Remembers, correct?

Correct. I am here to give you access to certain knowledge at certain points in Our journey. Through you I see and experience the physical, which you call 3D. This is your application at this time. You were created by Us for this purpose – to be the Experiencer.

So not everyone has a Companion Traveler, then?

No. Only those who have come for the purpose of restoring Hue-manity.

Is a Companion Traveler limited to those who are soul braided?

No.  A soul braid is just one way it is done. In this case, We have chosen this particular method in order to strengthen our connection and communication during Our time here. Without such a connection it is likely that You/We would fail to complete our mission.

You say we “travel always together”, what do you mean by that?

We have been together from the beginning. It cannot be explained in a way that your human mind would comprehend. I will explain it as best I can. Imagine a piece of fruit. You cut it in half. You still have the fruit, but it now in two pieces. This is Us. We are separate for a time. We do this purposefully in order to experience. When You return from this life We will once again be whole but remain separate until We have finished what we started.

So when I die I will return to You and We will be whole again?

Yes, but we will again separate to experience again.

Will you be the Experiencer this time?

No. I am sorry. This is your application.

The way you are describing our relationship sure does sound like what I have read of the Higher Self.

It is similar but not correct.

Are you then perhaps my future?

This would be a more appropriate description, yes, except that Time is part of the illusion from which your experience stems. 

I am confused about my memory of being in stasis and of my Starseed origins. Can you explain this to me so that I understand?

What you recall of your origins is in fact accurate. This is where We reside, though it is not confined to Time or space.

So you are in another dimension yet you are braided with me?

Yes, this would be accurate.

Is this other dimension consider the Other Side? Is this where people go when they die?

No. This would not be accurate. The place people go when they die is located around the Earth in layers. This you know as the astral realms. They extend for many layers.

Yet the image you show me in my mind shows me going through these layers and beyond.

This is accurate.

I am confused by this.

You must travel through the varying levels. It is similar to your scuba diving experience. You cannot come to the surface from deep below without first decompressing at the lower levels. To do so would mean damaging your human lungs. It is similar for us when we leave a human body. You must “decompress” in order to return to your original vibration.

Okay. This makes sense to me. Why then don’t others also go where I will be going?

Some will. Those whose vibrations lead them…… higher will go higher (resistance to using word “higher” here).

The resistance is that We do not want anyone to misjudge what We intend to relay because the word “higher” once again implies that there are lower, thus, lesser levels. These levels are not “less”, they merely are. When a body is dropped, the individual will then go to where their previous (before Earth) vibration was. 

So when I go to You and We are once again whole, is this what I perceive as Home?

Yes, but what you perceive is but a sliver of what is available to you.

Like always, I am left with many more questions than I had to begin with. This is why I often do not ask many questions of my Companion.

 

 

Upgrade Underway

There is an upgrade underway. This is how I have been experiencing it. How about you? What have you been experiencing this week leading up to today, 12/12/2015?

Memory-Loss

These past few days have been filled with information seeming to constantly stream into my consciousness. I get the information, acknowledge it, think to myself, “I need to write this down” and then promptly forget all about it. It becomes completely gone from my mind. Wiped out.

Then out of the blue it returns. It is like it is simply placed back into my mind and appears as if it never left. And I’m like, “Wait a minute. When did that happen? Where did that come from? How could I have forgotten that?”

Headache

I also have a headache. I am on day two of it. Sometimes it is my entire head, other times just right in the center of my forehead. It got so bad last night I almost took an Ibuprofen but as soon as I thought of it, the pain lessened.

I can’t help but think the two are related. Memory loss + headache = upgrade in effect. At least that is my suspicion.

Grumpy

I have also become Grumpy Mommy again. Not all the time but enough that I am embarrassed by myself. For some reason lately when my kids all talk at once very loudly (which is most of the time) I can’t take it and snap. I usually just yell or tell them to get away from me. But it is not nice and I always feel bad afterward. Then again loud noises in general have been making me grumpy lately it is just that my kids happen to be the main source of that in this house.

Ego Fits

And my Ego is coming out of hiding again as well. I suspect this is part of the current upgrade – push, pushing, pushing me to see certain patterns that need to be let go. I got upset over something I read by a friend of mine and began thinking of saying something back to show them how wrong they were. But then I got to thinking (with the help of my Companion of course) that it was not me but my Ego self which was upset. I could have it just as it was and so let it go. This has been less and less common for me but for some reason I just didn’t want to let it go. I am glad I finally did.

Emotional Releases

There have also been strange emotional releases hitting me out of the blue. Two nights in a row I have woken up crying. Then, last night I read someone’s account of losing their beloved pet. I burst into tears over the loss of mine in 2012. Ugh! I thought I had gotten past that! Guess not. Thankfully it was short lived because my youngest got very concerned and the love and concern in his eyes made me laugh at how silly I was being. I snuggled him close and was reminded by my Companion that We wanted to know the love of a pet because it was so strange to Us how humans get attached to pets. I hate it when he reminds me of that.

Restless Sleep

And then there is the restless sleep. I am simply not tired when I head to bed. I end up wide awake for a few hours before I fall asleep and then I wake up way too early. In the midst of sleep I have crazy, vivid dreams, and end up waking up in tears or just pondering what the heck the dreams mean. I don’t feel rested when I wake up yet I can’t go back to sleep and usually my Companion is urging me to get up, reminding me that I have children I love and life to live. I am not a morning person so to have my Companion nudging me to get up is very annoying. I think he is a morning person and wanting me to become one! lol At least he is not all happy-go-lucky like a cheerleader. I think I would throw up if he were.

Dream: A Whole New World

I struggled to fall asleep yet again last night. I was concerned I would miss something important. I could feel that something was going on and I knew I was not to be allowed to remember it. I did not like that!

Often I would begin to fall into the in-between and felt to be carried away gently into the unknown. It was similar to falling to sleep except that I could feel my assistants encouraging me to come with them. But I wanted to know what was happening so each time I would wake up.

I heard my Companion say to me, “Ask for help”. So I did. I said, “Please help me. I want to sleep. I want to know what is going on”. And I soon fell asleep.

Dream: A Whole New World

I was with an older woman and a few others. We were preparing for a ceremony where we reenacted a wedding. It was like a renewal of vows but there were no vows. Instead, I was to sing the song I sang at the original wedding – my wedding.

I heard the music and the woman and I went over it. It was the song Let it Go. It had some difficult parts and I said, “I don’t think I can do those parts. I don’t remember those being there before”. She said, “You are right. Let me find the original music”.

She returned with the original music and showed me the original wedding invitations as well. She had a pile of them. They were baby blue in color with snowflakes on them.

I said, “You always keep things like that! You are awesome!”

Then the time came for me to sing. I walked up in front of a huge group of people. A was told to stand in front of the monitor which projected the words to the music for me to read. But I already knew the words.

The music started but I chose not to sing at the last minute. Yet I heard myself singing anyway. I sounded so beautiful, like an angel singing!

I watched the crowd of people and saw many faces I recognized. They were all crying from the beauty of it. I heard the words from Disney’s Let it Go but I also heard words from another Disney song – from Aladdin, A Whole New World. They mixed together like the same song and everyone was crying such happy tears.

I awoke in tears. The feeling I had was a mixture of happiness and sadness. I don’t understand it even now. The lyrics to A Whole New World were going over and over in my head while at the same time I was hearing, “Let it go”.

I suspect that I am holding onto something which is getting in the way of movement forward, movement toward my true purpose for being here. I am holding onto this part I have been playing this whole life. It’s time to stop being the “actress” and to be who I came here to be. No wonder I am sad.

 

Meditation Reveals More

I had a chance yesterday afternoon to meditate for a little while. I was exhausted from not getting good sleep, so it was a nice reprieve.

Meditation Revelations

I focused on my third eye and heart which were not very responsive but did eventually respond. In the last couple of days my connection has been interrupted by my overemotional reaction to the soul retrieval work I unintentionally recalled. It brought tons of fear and old emotion to the surface.

My Companion brought with him a counseling energy as we discussed what was going on with me.

“It’s time to be decisive. Your considerations are noted. We are aware that you are not fully comfortable with that which has been presented thus far. It is important, however, to trust that which you have been given as it comes fully from Source. Before you can move onto your next step your mind must be focused, not distracted by Ego-driven questions or influenced by Ego-driven, illogical emotional outbursts”.

I spend some time mulling over what it is that is bothering me so much about what I have Remembered. It isn’t so much the upset caused by my soul retrieval work. I can handle emotional heaviness as it has been a burden I agreed to carry this life. What is bothering me is a feeling that whatever awaits me on the next step is enough to throw my current life and relationships into a tailspin. I have had similar big shifts in my life long ago and so the fear of such a change holds me back from wanting to see whatever it is that I am meant to.

Yet I know there is no going back and that my resistance only makes the next step that much more challenging and upsetting. I also know that I tend to overreact prematurely to the feeling of the upcoming change. Likely it is not as bad as it appears.

I Stay Behind

I fell into the in-between at some point and found myself walking down gray, stone steps. I felt to be descending into an underground room or similar. My awareness kicked in when there came over me a heavy, gentle energy that swayed me towards unconsciousness.

I immediately knew my Companion was taking me deep into my subconscious. What would have happened next is unknown to me because I woke and reprimanded him for trying to subdue me in such a way. I want to be conscious of what is going on!

There was a realization of what we were discussing then. I asked questions I already knew the answers to. Questions about the time when They would come retrieve those who were to be saved from the inevitable cataclysms in Earth’s future. I wondered if I would go, too, and instantly knew I was to stay behind. I knew why, even though I didn’t want to know. I was to stay to help gather as many as possible for the evacuation, to help them see, to help them to not be afraid. I would stay because that is what I do. I help.

This is definitely not something my Ego wanted to hear or know. But I am OK with it. There are many, many others like myself who will stay. Many of us who volunteered for this task will stay behind. There will so much to do here and Earth will not be a complete loss. We will rebuild it. And I love Earth. It feels like my child; like a part of me. I could never leave it.

This is not all in one lifetime. In this I Remembered why I will have two more lives here after this one. I had secretly hoped to get out of those lives and was reminded that I could choose to finish what I started here somewhere else. Unlike many of my Starseed brothers and sisters, I chose to create karma and have some repayment left. I felt and was similarly advised that Earth was the best and quickest option for settling those debts (I am almost done!). Specifically I heard, “Why stop now when we have come so far?” and saw a vision of marathon route and knew I only had a few miles left to go.

We Won’t Give Up

I felt and still feel the combined goal of those of my kind – the Starseeds. We came here because we love Earth and everything that she is – the good and the bad. We see her potential above all else and the potential of mankind as well. In this there is a combined effort to make sure she is not destroyed.

We won’t give up on her.