The Volunteers

I’ve been reading The Convoluted Universe Book 3 for a while now. I keep bookmarking pages of this book because it resonates with me so much.

Chapter 13: The Volunteers

In this chapter Dolores presents many examples of first timers to Earth and the waves of volunteers who came to Earth to help raise the vibration.

In one section of this chapter she works with a man named James who describes demolecularization as his means of travel.

Then the feeling of movement, and a shocking revelation. “Forward, forward – elsewhere, very, very fast. When it moved, when it …. jumped? It made me feel ….. split apart, like atoms….Like demolecularization, but not in a bad way; just necessary. It is necessary in order to travel. You cannot travel in the physical body. It’s too fast. The body would break. So they demolecularize me till they can put me back together later. It’s contained within the light, within the dome area. Maybe the light holds it or keeps it from going everywhere”.

When I read this I knew this is what had happened to me. I’ve had many incidences where I felt this way. The first time it happened I came back from wherever I had been completely freaked out, shaking and begging for help. I ended up going downstairs and just hugging my husband. It happened several times after that but with less intensity, almost like I started to get use to whatever it was that was happening to me.

When I would come back together from being split apart I would remember everything initially – like I had all the knowledge of the universe. Then, the more solid I became, the less I remembered. It felt like the knowledge was siphoned off. I think this is what terrified me the most.

I know that I, like James, had been traveling. Not only that, but I remember the domed area he talks about, too! I wonder what form I am changing into? I have no memory of what I look like when I go to this area. The next time I go I have to look at myself.

James then talks about what he is doing when he reaches this domed area. He is training. He is learning about Earth through simulations and “life games” which ultimately are the putting on of lives to help him better adapt to life on Earth.

This also feel accurate for me. Sometimes I think my dreams are conscious memories of these life scenarios.

 

Purpose: To Help

Over and over the people who Dolores talks to in her book explain that they are on Earth “to help”. They often describe an overwhelming desire to assist, a “pull” toward Earth or a “calling”, and a nervousness about descending into a body.

I remembered what I was doing prior to coming into this body. I remember preparing to descend into the body. I was nervous and spent quite a bit of time reviewing this life before descending. I felt an intense pull towards Earth as I “fell” down towards it. I was also afraid. The last thing I remember was hearing that my older sister had been born and it was time for me to go.

The 3 Waves of Volunteers

According to Dolores Cannon, there are three waves of volunteers:

First Wave– These people would be in their 40s and early 50s now, finally adjusting to life after going through turbulent early years of feeling they didn’t belong here. A number tried to commit suicide or were treated for depression.

2nd Wave– Presently in their 20s and 30s, these folk had an easier time, and have been called “channels, generators, and antennas,” and project positive energy. Many have chosen not to have children, as this creates karma, and they don’t want to have to return to Earth after this life.

3rd Wave– The New Children are coming into the world with altered DNA, so they can function in a different reality (vibrations are pushing Earth into a new dimension).

I know I am a volunteer, I just don’t know which wave I am. I seem to fit the description of the 1st wave completely but I am not that old. I also fit part of the description of the second wave some, too. Maybe I am a mix of both? I don’t guess it really matters, though.

When I question my Companion, I am reminded that this is not my first attempt to help. My last attempt ended prematurely. This was the life when I died in 1971, the same year my older sister was born. I would have been born in the 1960’s, 1964 I think because I was about 6-7 years old when I died in that life. I was told that my life was suppose to continue but someone I was meant to be with/work with, either opted out or something was changed last minute. In other words, my path and theirs were linked and so when their course changed, so did mine. Unfortunately for me, it was quite upsetting as I was murdered. Ouch!

Karma

I feel like I have karma I am working through, but since reading Dolores’ book, I keep feeling that I am missing something.

Last night when I went to bed I had entered into another mini-panic. What was funny is my mind was going a hundred miles an hour with panic-like thoughts but I didn’t actually feel panic. While in this weird state I felt often a sudden pull into my heart and all would go quiet. On a couple of other times I felt something move seemingly into me from the left. When this happened I would also calm down and the mind would shut off. This was the strangest feeling I have had since the demolecularization feeling. It was like a bubble of energy that had substance to it, almost like a pressure, moved into my head from the left. And with it came a complete disconnection with this life, but only momentarily. This disconnection is why my mind would shut off. It was like I was unplugged from this life, reset or maybe short circuited.

After the last “bubble” hit me, I was aware suddenly that I reflect karma for the people I meet. This means that whatever karma the person needs to work through they work through with me. It’s like I project to them what they need of me to work through whatever it is they need to work through.

In remembering this I knew it was true. My relationship with my ex is certainly one of these. I knew when I married him I was marrying him to help him. I knew it would be temporary. And when I wanted to leave I couldn’t. It was like I was stuck and only when he was ready was I allowed out.

I don’t know if there is a name for people like me, but I can tell you the job sucks. I won’t do it again. I think I got conned into it.

Now does this mean I carry no karma? I don’t know. I don’t think so, but I am still trying to figure it all out. Dolores discusses imprinting of lives quite a bit. She explains there is no way to differentiate between imprinted ones and real ones. Every time I read about imprinted lives I think I have these. But I can’t tell. I would really love to be one of those who is immune to karma but I know I’m not. I have two more lives after this one after all, to sort through what I have left.

 

 

Message: We Will Fill Your Cup

I had the entire day and house to myself yesterday. It was a much needed reprieve from my normal, hectic life. Plus the K energy subsided almost completely. Relief! I continue to have a lull in the energy but have incidences of high heart chakra energy and my third-eye is back to a near constant buzz.

I felt so good I visited the gym. This time I had absolutely no issues whatsoever and managed to stay over an hour. Yay! I did notice I was being stared at quite a bit. I was staring right back! hehe

Dreams: Unexpected Party and $70

Despite sleeping very well again, I had odd dreams. In one I returned to a home I didn’t recognize to find my mother-in-law in my kitchen burning something in the oven. I asked about it and then freaked out because my entire house was dirty – the floors covered in dirt and leaves, the kitchen had food and mess all over and the living area was just as dirty. I lost it and my MIL informed me that she was preparing for the party.

What party?

I went outside to try and find my husband and saw a parking lot full of cars and people. All of them were coming to my house! I spent most of the dream after that pacing in and out of my house and yelling at people that I didn’t know. I got lots of stares, like they were thinking, “What the f#^k is wrong with you?” I didn’t care. I was waaaay past caring.

I confronted my husband about it and he just ignored me. He does that and it just infuriated me more. I went back inside and locked myself in the back room frantic to figure out what to do. I wanted to leave, but I couldn’t – I don’t make enough income on my own and don’t want to return to education. There were 75 people I didn’t know and who I didn’t care to know in my house and they weren’t leaving. My head was spinning. What do I do?

I finally just  went back to the living area. There I saw children playing next to a Christmas tree. I got on my hands and knees and went up to the tree. I remember thinking,”What is a tree doing here? I already took it down!” I began removing the ornaments close to the floor because there were little ones. One of the children came up next to me and I smiled. I remember noticing a significant calm come over me. Suddenly I didn’t care about my anger or my lying husband. I just wanted to be with the kids.

Then I found myself at a check-out line holding a small vacuum. I gave the woman my money and she gave me back a wad of bills and said, “Here’s a bunch of money”. I took it and saw $70. Knowing she gave me incorrect change, I took it and went to the parking lot. I got to the car and there was my husband and two other men. I was still furious with my husband but got into the car with him and the other two men. What is funny is they were eating plates full of eggs!

Interpretation

When I woke I was not happy and immediately asked to be let out of this life. I completely wanted out. I don’t know why. It was like I was being asked to make an impossible decision and I didn’t want to.

I know that the dream is symbolic of how my marriage and relationship dynamics are not aligned with my heart. The anger and frantic energy is my upset at feeling unable to do anything about this.

The Christmas tree is representative of the gift my Team told me I received this Christmas – love. The children represent this love and they dissolve my anger completely. I feel at peace despite previously being angry. I feel like this is a message to focus on my heart.

Messages 

Of course my Companion was there and asking me to talk about my feelings and focus on my heart. I was still upset and asking for him to trade places with me since he seemed to know so much about what I am going through. I get so frustrated with him!

I saw very clearly a shoe box in the top of a closet. On top of it was very clearly written, “Questions”. I asked if I could ask some and was told yes but quickly found I didn’t really want to know the answers yet. I kept being referred to my heart but focusing on it made me feel like I felt in my dream – the frantic part. Who wants to feel that way? Not me.

Then I saw an empty cup on the shelf next to the box. I heard, “We will fill your cup”. I was reminded of the question, “Is your cup half empty or half full?” Mine is just empty. The symbolism was not lost to me.

My Companion tells me I was given a gift and this is what will fill my cup.