I had the entire day and house to myself yesterday. It was a much needed reprieve from my normal, hectic life. Plus the K energy subsided almost completely. Relief! I continue to have a lull in the energy but have incidences of high heart chakra energy and my third-eye is back to a near constant buzz.
I felt so good I visited the gym. This time I had absolutely no issues whatsoever and managed to stay over an hour. Yay! I did notice I was being stared at quite a bit. I was staring right back! hehe
Dreams: Unexpected Party and $70
Despite sleeping very well again, I had odd dreams. In one I returned to a home I didn’t recognize to find my mother-in-law in my kitchen burning something in the oven. I asked about it and then freaked out because my entire house was dirty – the floors covered in dirt and leaves, the kitchen had food and mess all over and the living area was just as dirty. I lost it and my MIL informed me that she was preparing for the party.
I went outside to try and find my husband and saw a parking lot full of cars and people. All of them were coming to my house! I spent most of the dream after that pacing in and out of my house and yelling at people that I didn’t know. I got lots of stares, like they were thinking, “What the f#^k is wrong with you?” I didn’t care. I was waaaay past caring.
I confronted my husband about it and he just ignored me. He does that and it just infuriated me more. I went back inside and locked myself in the back room frantic to figure out what to do. I wanted to leave, but I couldn’t – I don’t make enough income on my own and don’t want to return to education. There were 75 people I didn’t know and who I didn’t care to know in my house and they weren’t leaving. My head was spinning. What do I do?
I finally just went back to the living area. There I saw children playing next to a Christmas tree. I got on my hands and knees and went up to the tree. I remember thinking,”What is a tree doing here? I already took it down!” I began removing the ornaments close to the floor because there were little ones. One of the children came up next to me and I smiled. I remember noticing a significant calm come over me. Suddenly I didn’t care about my anger or my lying husband. I just wanted to be with the kids.
Then I found myself at a check-out line holding a small vacuum. I gave the woman my money and she gave me back a wad of bills and said, “Here’s a bunch of money”. I took it and saw $70. Knowing she gave me incorrect change, I took it and went to the parking lot. I got to the car and there was my husband and two other men. I was still furious with my husband but got into the car with him and the other two men. What is funny is they were eating plates full of eggs!
When I woke I was not happy and immediately asked to be let out of this life. I completely wanted out. I don’t know why. It was like I was being asked to make an impossible decision and I didn’t want to.
I know that the dream is symbolic of how my marriage and relationship dynamics are not aligned with my heart. The anger and frantic energy is my upset at feeling unable to do anything about this.
The Christmas tree is representative of the gift my Team told me I received this Christmas – love. The children represent this love and they dissolve my anger completely. I feel at peace despite previously being angry. I feel like this is a message to focus on my heart.
Of course my Companion was there and asking me to talk about my feelings and focus on my heart. I was still upset and asking for him to trade places with me since he seemed to know so much about what I am going through. I get so frustrated with him!
I saw very clearly a shoe box in the top of a closet. On top of it was very clearly written, “Questions”. I asked if I could ask some and was told yes but quickly found I didn’t really want to know the answers yet. I kept being referred to my heart but focusing on it made me feel like I felt in my dream – the frantic part. Who wants to feel that way? Not me.
Then I saw an empty cup on the shelf next to the box. I heard, “We will fill your cup”. I was reminded of the question, “Is your cup half empty or half full?” Mine is just empty. The symbolism was not lost to me.
My Companion tells me I was given a gift and this is what will fill my cup.