Welcome 2018! – Multiple OBEs

So 2017 is now behind us. Hallelujah! Doing the happy dance over here. I am SO happy 2017 is over. Not that is was all terrible but it was mostly a very tough year for me. It was all about letting go, healing, peeling off more layers of illusion/false Self, and difficult inner work. If I look back at this time last year it still makes me shudder a bit. I would not wish what I went through on even my worst enemies. I hope to never experience that kind of pain again.

I had a Knowing yesterday that someone in my family will pass this year, someone not close to me but close to my mom or MIL. It was not disturbing to me but I know it will be to someone close to me – not my immediate family, though (husband and children). My grandmother has sisters who survived her and they are all getting up there in age. Similarly, my MIL has family that is pretty old. We all contemplated who it might be but didn’t linger on it. What will be, will be. As always, I don’t see death as a grievous thing but as a release; freedom from the limitations of the body and this physical existence.

A comment was left not long ago about how the first 12 days of the new year tell of the coming months. One’s dreams provide a sneak peak at what to expect. So, I have decided to record what dreams I remember over the next 12 days. Maybe I will be shown what is coming? Maybe not. We’ll see how it pans out.

Multiple OBEs

I can’t recall my dreams at all for some reason. All I remember is waking up in tears at one point. It is odd that I don’t recall why. I woke the night of the 31st in tears, too. Maybe the full moon is pulling it out of me yet again. I had hoped 2018 would mark the end of the teary dreams. Guess not.

When I woke at 5am I was wide awake and feeling disappointed and sad. I rolled over on my right side and fell into thoughts of the year ahead. It wasn’t long until I shifted OOB and into a dark room.

My energy was low and so it was difficult to remain OOB. I would shift into the dark room, roam about for a bit trying to get my bearings, and then shift back into my body temporarily. I did this approximately 5 times for varying lengths of time.

I don’t remember much except the dark, unfamiliar room which I assumed was a version of my bedroom. There was an excursion out of my room and the house but it was short-lived. As soon as I attempted to fly out the window I felt to hover as if stuck in place and then my vision blacked out completely as I shifted back into body. Then there was one instance where a black man was sitting in the middle of the room smoking a strange looking pipe. It resembled a large, perfectly cylindrical stick with a tiny mouthpiece on the end. He smoked it and then offered it to me. I politely refused and went back into body.

The final OBE was the longest and most memorable. I exited my body thinking, “I need to do something to stay longer.” Then I drifted over to the stairs and decided to jump down rather than “walk”. I hesitated feeling it was not advisable but then pushed past the consideration and jumped over. The fall down was bumpy as if my considerations paused the fall.

When I got to the bottom I headed toward the front door. Remembering I needed to do something to increase my energy I looked down at my hand. I was wearing green garden gloves so had to take them off to look at my hand. Oddly I don’t recall what my ungloved hand looked like but looking at it seemed to work.

I floated out the front door and noticed the front lawn was different. Instead of grass it was stones separated by dark mulch. When I looked up I could see the night sky but the stars were not as brilliant as they should be. I looked harder, trying to get the sky to clarify but it never did.

I floated out toward the street and immediately noticed the streets were covered in clear ice. Delighted I thought, “I can ice skate!” I went down to the street and began to try and skate only since I had astral legs it was more of a sliding motion. I tried to get my feet to work but gave up quickly and just enjoyed slipping and sliding down the street.

I skated for some time and ended up wondering where I was going. I paused and looked up at the sky again. The stars were still muted it seemed and I focused on them again to try and get them to shine more brightly without success. Then my vision blanked out but instead of it turning black and shifting back in body my vision became white and the outline of petals began to form. It was as if I was looking into the center of a white lotus or similar flower. Fascinated, I stared into the white petals and they shifted and morphed into the outline of a distant scene. The more I looked, the more the scene solidified and I realized I was being offered the opportunity to shift to a higher level of astral via some kind of portal.

Despite being given the opportunity to shift to a new scene I opted out. There was a strong sense of boredom over all of it. I can’t recall my exact thought but it was something like, “No matter where I go it won’t matter or change anything in my physical life so why bother?”

I felt myself shift back into my body and it took a bit for my energy to stabilize. I felt bored and disappointed by the experience and my thoughts were on the coming year. I felt 2018 was not going to offer me anything except more struggle and upset.

Interpretation

OBEs offer similar insight into one’s waking life as do dreams. In this case I was unable to maintain my energy and my vision was dark most of the time. This indicates that I am unwilling to see something as it is; so my confront is low. The low energy indicates a lack of motivation. The pipe symbolizes satisfaction, comfort and contentment in life. The fact that I refuse to smoke it indicates I feel none of those things or am not open to receiving them.

The fact that I can’t see the stars as brilliantly symbolizes my life outlook. Life is dull rather than brilliant. The ice on the road indicates I am not feeling that I am making progress in life. Ice skating means I need to proceed with caution in some situation or relationship.

Finally, the fact that I do not take the opportunity presented and shift into a different, higher scene, indicates my overall feelings toward life at this point in my journey.

 

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Dream: Double Dragon

I couldn’t sleep last night for a sore throat and severely watery eyes. Even sucking on a cough drop didn’t help. It was 2am before I fell asleep and I woke at 6am. ūüė¶

Dream: Double Dragon

In this dream I recall being outside in the country walking along and then looking up in the sky to see two dragons (fiery personality, highly spiritual, good fortune). They seemed to be one but then not one, like flying so close they were one. I kept myself hidden under bushes, trees and such as I made my way through the country. I recall seeing the dragons several times. I wanted to stay hidden from them just in case they might eat me.

I encountered a crystal clear stream (profound understanding, emotion) running very swiftly downhill. It didn’t run through rocks or earth, though, but through a culvert or canal that shimmered with gold (spiritual reward) and crystal (unity with Higher Self) leafing. It went underground and I stepped into the shallow water and walked against the current up toward a small waterfall (letting go) that flowed out of an unknown source. Though it was underground it was very light and open inside with windows looking up and out onto the road the stream ran under.

Feet wet I crawled up a wall. Still on the lookout for the dragon I saw them in the distance to my left. So I grabbed onto little outcroppings in the wall of a building and crawled through a window. The building now reminds me of a castle (recognition for accomplishments).

Inside it was pristine, like a very fancy hotel (shift in personality). The windows opened up onto a veranda upon which I found myself. I walked through the glass doors and into the suite. I knew I had stayed there before. It was for couples and I remembered being with a partner though who that was specifically I do not recall.

I realized right away that the place had been locked up for the season. Everything was set up for the future guests – little welcome chocolates with note cards, flowers and fluffed pillows. It was very beautiful and a place I would love to stay at.

For some reason I became suspicious about the place being closed. It was too early in the season and so I investigated and soon found a young man laying on a sofa. I was with a woman and we discussed how it could have come to be that the place was closed down. She suggested the heir mismanaged the money and we went through photos of people from long ago.

The man on the sofa stirred. We suspected he was the heir and when he woke we confronted him about a murder (putting an end to something), though at the time there was no evidence of one. As we mentioned “murder” though there was a knife (aggression, need to be decisive) in his hand and it was found that he had stabbed (sexual domination) himself in an attempt to make it look like he was attacked. I remember there was blood (disappointment) all over his chest and we discussed how he could have stabbed himself in the heart and not died.

Changes of Note

When I woke this morning the dragons in the dream were vivid in my memory and made me think of Chinese astrology. I am a Dragon, specifically a Fire Dragon. My husband is also a Dragon. Whether that is significant or not, I don’t know, but it was on my mind upon waking.

It was curious to me that the dragons in my dream appeared as one. To me that seems to indicate a union of two aspects, likely masculine and feminine. The hotel I visited was one I had been to before, in my astral memories, and I had been with my partner. It seems to fit with the two dragons and the other dream symbols suggest my dream is about success in regards to some aspect of union.

In a conversation with my husband last night he brought to my attention positive changes he has seen in me. At first I didn’t know what he was talking about but later agreed with him. Mostly, the changes in me are that I am lighter, less prone to fixating on the negative, and less resistant. I have lost interest in fighting with my husband over any subject. It is just not worth my time or energy. I choose to focus on the things that lift me up and make me feel positive. This is a conscious decision I make over and over, day after day. If I find myself angry, upset, or fixating on something, then I make a conscious choice to let it go however I need to so that I feel relief.

I have completely let go of certain things that were weighing me down. As a result my mind is quieter and I am much more at peace with my life. That which use to bring me grief and heartache (heartsickness) no longer evokes those feelings but instead leaves me feeling calm and accepting. I recognize that the source of the connection, the Divine love and friendship that once caused me to feel like an insane drug addict (lol), is ME. I am the calm, the peace, the love, the friendship, the joy that I am seeking. It just isn’t as I assumed it would be. I kept thinking it was something I had to rise to, to obtain somehow through hard work and struggle. Slowly I am finding that access is granted via allowing, acceptance, patience, and nurturing of Self. It comes with ease and grace…..and I am slowly beginning to understand how to unlock mySelf from within…if that even makes sense. lol

Ultimately it all comes down to choosing in every moment what I want to experience; making a conscious CHOICE to flow with my life rather than against it. It isn’t as hard as it looks. The only time I really struggle (somewhat) is when I come up against something that triggers me in a negative way. It can be absolutely excruciating to let that go and allow things to flow as they are meant to. Giving others….ALLOWING others to have something at what my Ego thinks is my expense is not only difficult but sometimes scary as hell! It’s the giving up of my control….but no it isn’t. That’s a lie. It is better said that I trust that all will work out for everyone involved no matter how much my Ego interprets the present situation as being a threat to it. This trust involves knowing that no matter the outcome I CAN handle it and will never be given anything I cannot bear.

Someone once tried to explain the above to me and I just didn’t get it. I do now I think. Words just don’t explain it, though. You can say, “Live from the heart” but really it doesn’t mean anything until you have taken your own personal route to the heart and find yourself in it and finally understanding.

 

 

2 OBE’s and Informative Links

Two OBEs to share and some considerations, also.

OBE: Crocodiles in the Water

Woke at 5:30am and rolled back over feeling a bit sad that I had not had any lucid dreams or OBEs in quite some time. I even requested it two nights in a row with no success which is unusual. I have been very tired lately and sleeping for 9-11 hours a night. So, I figured I must just be too tired.

Within seconds (or so it seemed) of rolling over to return to sleep something alerted me to a shift in vibration, though I do not recall feeling any vibrations. I rolled out of my sleeping body and stood up. My vision was full-on, vivid and sharp and I was not in my bedroom. I was in the living room of what appeared to be a small house with white, lace curtains. I could see the front door and the adjacent window. Sunlight was streaming through the lace hitting a potted ivy plant sitting on a table.

I believe I had been laying on a sofa in the room but didn’t turn to look. My intent was to go out the door and get away from my sleeping body. I felt a bit unsteady in my astral form as if I would lose the OBE if I lingered or stopped to survey the scene. I talked to myself to get more stability but I can’t remember what I said now.

When I reached the front door I went to grab the door knob and thought to try and move through it instead. I met a solid surface so opened the door as normal and floated/walked through. Outside was beautiful and resembled a city park. There was a long walkway through green, manicured lawns with shrubbery out in front of me. To my left was a large, slow-flowing creek or small river. The waters were muddy and sluggish as if there had recently been a storm. Beyond the river to my far left were tall trees through which I could not see beyond for the thick undergrowth.

I went down the few steps from the stoop and did not hesitate to head toward the river/creek. For some reason I wanted to go straight into the muddy water. I jumped in right away and felt the cold water surround me. I never went all the way under, though. The water was only waist deep.

Once in the water I felt a strong current that from the surface was not noticeable. I looked to my right and thought, “There are crocodiles in this water. I better get out fast.” There was no fear with this thought only intent to exit the water. I never saw a crocodile. Note: Crocodiles symbolize some aspect of self I am avoiding. Muddy water is muddied emotion.

As I crawled up the side of the embankment onto the leaves and underbrush of the forest beyond I swear someone reached down to give me their hand and help me up. Yet I can’t recall seeing anyone just feeling support being offered by a male presence. Out of the water I stood and looked into the forest. My thoughts then were, “I don’t know what to do next.” I felt apathy hit me and became heavy, losing my astral sight and settling immediately into my sleeping body. Note: My apathy and not knowing what to do mirrors my physical life.

OBE: Friends

Once in my body I exited again but with less lucidity than the exit before. I could not see and once again felt someone was with me. I spoke to myself to get more stability and recall saying, “I can’t see. I need to see.” As I said those words my vision came on slowly and I could see my own eyelids slowly fade as my vision turned on. It was a really cool experience and I remember saying, “Oh yeah, I see through closed eyes here. Vision isn’t the same.” It was as if I had to remind myself of how things worked.

This time I was inside a house with several others who I seemed to know. We interacted for the entire OBE but I have since forgotten pretty much everything. I do know there was a very tall woman who was the focus of my attention. She towered above me and the others by at least a foot. I was aware of my “other” life while with these people but again can’t remember it.

The reason I can’t recall it clearly is because I entered into several lucid dreams after this last OBE, one right after the other and each with less and less lucidity. I woke briefly at one point but was too groggy to bother trying to remember the OBEs and dreams. I was also disappointed at how uneventful the two OBEs were. They seemed so boring and pointless so why try to remember them?

Difference Between OBE and Lucid Dream

Only recently have I been more intent on having more OBEs and lucid dreams. This is in part due to seeing so many of my online friends posting about their experiences. Some of them have OBEs almost daily! I use to have frequent OBEs but this year my stats have dropped significantly.

A few days ago someone shared a link that caught my attention. It was to an article about the difference between OBEs and lucid dreams. After reading it my feelings were mixed because for me the differences are not so cut and dry.

If I use the list at the end of the article to define the above experiences then I believe they qualify as OBEs:

Stable environment
Environment not under my control
Expectations did not affect the environment
Eyesight was vivid, vibrant; I could feel with my mind (this is always the case with me, though).
Body image – unknown, I did not care if I had a body or not
I was bored (seems to be big indicator of OBE)
Didn’t see my body but again, didn’t care
No sexual encounter

Most of my OBEs are transitions from lucid dreams, which is also mentioned as a possibility by the author (the fourth state).

I think that the list should include that the experiencer is aware of shifting out of their physical body with or without the presence of vibrations. For me, this is the #1 indicator that I was OOB because I am conscious of leaving or re-entering my physical body. In the case of it beginning as a lucid dream and shifting to an OBE I may not be aware of leaving my physical body in the beginning but but in the end I am conscious of re-entry. I also believe one can begin an experience as an OBE and then lose awareness and shift into a lucid dream.

Anyway, back to my renewed interest in OBEs…..

A friend posted a link to this website and I spent some time reviewing some of the articles. It occurred to me that if I could go OOB more that I could observe some of the same things the author of this site has observed. In fact, I already have. I know, though, that I need more uninterrupted time and more sleep to be able to go OOB as frequently as I would need to. I just don’t have that right now and it will likely be many years before I do.

I recommend you visit the above site as it has many useful article about consciousness, OBEs, lucid dreams and multidimensional states.

 

 

 

 

 

Kundalini, Dreams and Music Messages

Last night was a rough night emotionally. I got out my laptop to check my email and such and immediately noticed one of the posts had 444 views. In that moment I felt to my left the presence of one of my guides.¬† Ignoring him and shrugging off the message, I moved on to Netflix. I started watching Call the Midwife¬†and adjusted my laptop. That’s when I saw the reflection of one of my paintings in the screen. The particular painting was the symbol that represents what happens when two complementary energies/souls meet.¬† I tried to ignore the image but it kept coming up despite my changing my laptop’s position. Eventually the image caused me to focus on it and the 444 came back to mind along with a message that I was not alone. I burst into tears and a huge outflow of emotion seemed to well up from deep within.

This time last year I was going through a very difficult time and if I compare it to what I am experiencing now I am grateful to be where I am. With Thanksgiving coming I should be focusing on gratitude, we all should, but when the sadness hits me and my heart overflows I struggle to see the blessings in my life. I am overcome with regret and grief. At the time of this outflow of sorrow I couldn’t help but think to myself, “I made the wrong decision.” My guidance has always said, “There are no mistakes, just choices” and I agree wholeheartedly but the suffering I am causing myself is undeserved. Yet I can’t seem to stop it. It certainly feels like I am punishing myself but I don’t know why.

Kundalini and Dreams

To my surprise I had some Kundalini energy in my dreams that woke me up early on in the night. I can’t recall anything of the dream now except bending down to pick up something and then being hit with energy in my root chakra. I only woke briefly and returned to sleep to have more of the same energy continue throughout the night. I did not wake again from it, though.

My only guess as to the source of the very strong root chakra energy is my choice to be abstinent. Even in my dreams I am avoiding sexual encounters, talking myself out of it and reminding myself that I don’t need sex and that attraction to the male gender is to be avoided. My goal is to seek a higher connection with Source and sex only distracts from that (at least that is my reasoning).

My dreams from the night are disappearing from my memory even as I type this. I remember holding a necklace in my hand at one point. It was inside a box in a little girl’s room and connected to a memory being remembered in the dream. The necklace was gold with a tiny, emerald pendant in the shape of three leaves. I attempted to put it on but the clasp would not allow it.

The pendant reminded me of the Trinity Knot of Celtic origins and how it represents the Goddess as the mother, maiden and crone.

Image result for emerald meaning

In another dream I was cleaning up a bathroom and rearranging the counter, clearing it of debris for my mother. My sister’s stuff was everywhere and I was putting it in the cabinet and sorting through it. There was an abundance of makeup (putting on a mask, vanity, pride) and I remember thinking of my preference for not wearing much, if any makeup now.

Then there was a dream where I was helping two students with a new kind of math (logic, rationality). There was a name for it but I can’t recall it now. What I recall of it is that it was all circles with tiny numbers (mostly 8’s) and a device like a compass but in the shape of a crescent was used to draw the circles.

When I awoke songs were in my head. One in particular was from my youth. It use to be one of my favorite songs. I had all but forgotten the song existed until I heard it on the radio the other day. The specific part that was going over and over in my mind was this:

We don’t even have pictures
Just memories to hold
That grow sweeter each season
As we slowly grow old

Not long after this song was going through my mind, another song came to mind but only specific lyrics:

And I can’t fight this feeling anymore
I’ve forgotten what I started fighting for
It’s time to bring this ship into the shore
And throw away the oars, forever

I have heard the song before and it was quite out of the blue that it came to me this morning. It seems the message is to not fight my feelings. That is a continual message I receive which indicates that I must be resisting feeling something. The only thing I can figure is that I am resisting feeling the pain that comes with the overwhelming love that I feel. It is love but it is pain and the two seem to go together. You can’t have one without the other I guess. But that seems wrong to me. What I think is that the pain comes from one’s past – past lives specifically – and beliefs about love. But then I’m not sure that is it either. I suppose I will figure it out at some point. The answer is probably super simple and my dense human mind keeps me from seeing it.

My guidance keeps urging me to communicate what I am feeling but whenever they suggest it I tell them, “It’s not good for me. It rekindles false hope.” There is also fear that in communicating what I feel I will expose myself to rejection and more pain/upset. As long as there is expectation there will be pain.

So my decision is to stay the course and hopefully, with time, I will find freedom from this sadness and heartsickness that has been plaguing me.

 

 

New Knowing, Lessons and Acceleration

Lately I’ve been having a guide visit me, usually in the evenings while I am still awake, but sometimes also during the day at random moments. I have been having moments of Knowing hit me similar to other times in my life. In these instances I push away my automatic reaction which is to hold my breath and think, “Oh God.” lol But then I always think that before I get a grip on my thoughts.

A Knowing that has been frequent is the feeling that another round of spiritual acceleration is coming my way. Since I only have my previous experience as a gauge it is perfectly reasonable that I hold my breath when this Knowing strikes (tiny uncomfortable laugh here). I have not asked questions nor explored these moments of Knowing further. I don’t want to get caught in the trap of expectation again even if it is a fun game to play (very fun at times).

As I mentioned, a guide pops in during the day and did so several times yesterday at random times. Usually he responds to my thoughts. For example, yesterday I woke up intent on the job search I had begun the day before. With renewed spirit I was planning to apply for several positions “just because”. As I walked up the stairs I stopped mid-step from a feeling that came over me from above, like a descent of other-consciousness. Such shifts would be barely perceivable to someone unused to such things, but not me. The message that stopped me mid-stride was instantaneous and without words but the translation would be: Think. Do you really want this/these jobs?…..(no, not really was my answer)…..Then wait. The right job will come at the right time.” And with that I felt to relax tremendously, all at once completely comfortable with myself and my situation in that moment.

Similarly, one morning (can’t recall which now) I awoke with similar thoughts as is my norm – I don’t want to wake up. I want to go Home. etc, etc. Within moments I recognized these thoughts were not of the present moment but of some other – both past and future actually. Past in that I felt the heaviness of all the loss I’ve endured. Future in that I kept trying to conceive of something that had yet to transpire. It is quite an unsettled feeling and it was as if that feeling had a taste and my whole Being was aware of how bitter it was. I felt my guide then and told myself (as he also told me), “I am not in the present moment.” And with intent I self-corrected and found relief. I Knew that it was only in the present moment that I would find my next course of action. It would come clearly and without fear or other obstruction.

It was yesterday that I had the idea quite out of the blue to keep a notebook handy. I have yet to get one but the feeling was that I would recall better the messages and such I receive if I could write them down in that instant. There was the message, “You cannot expect yourself to remember it all” along with memories of all the “forgetfulness” I have suffered since having children (it’s ridiculous!). Also, a notebook would assure that I was not trying to keep the messages in my memory for long periods of time. This would, of course, take me out of the present moment!

This morning I am hearing the song I mentioned before over and over: “Giving up is letting go and moving to a better place…..” But rather than the “letting go part” I hear, “Is getting stronger”. Ha!

Now to the dreams…..my evenings are very full of them lately!

downloadDream: Driving a Bus

This dream was from two nights ago:

The dream began with me visiting a salon inside a woman’s house. My daughter had begged to come with me and the visit ended up being mostly for her when initially I had planned it for me alone. I recall her hair being changed and done up. There was also a bra (maternal instinct, protection) fitting for some reason, specifically for me. The woman measured around my chest area and came up with a new, smaller bra size. She suggested a bra that changed as needed – can’t recall the name now. I didn’t like it because it was a demi bra and could also be used for breast feeding (motherhood can be attractive?). I had no use for either.

We had to leave early to return my daughter to school before it let out. I drove her to the school and the dream gets hazy. What I recall most is that I ended up behind the wheel of a semi-truck (feeling over burdened, taken advantage of) and was receiving driving lessons from an male voice to my left. My main issue was arriving at intersections too fast and then fishtailing my way through the 90 degree turns. Advice was given to slow down after I almost rear ended a school bus.

Then I was driving a school bus (about to venture on an important life journey for personal growth) and approaching an intersection (decision/choice needs to be made to proceed). I slowed way down, so much so that I was too slow and missed the green light. I said, “That’s okay, we’ll just wait for the next light.”

There was a distinct feeling when driving both the truck and the bus. It was a feeling of having weight behind me like a long tail. I had to be conscious of the weight because it affected my speed and direction. Also, I was either not cautious at all or too cautious when driving. Both the bus and the truck were empty except for me.

Note: As I finished writing about the dream, my youngest came in with a toy school bus and played with it very loudly. LOL

Message: Reach

When I woke up the guide that was there prior to bed was very close. I was feeling once again depressed about life and asking for this experiment to end. He said, “We will help you.” I said, “Yeah, yeah. Like you’ve been helping so far?” I thought about how I had nothing to look forward to. He said to me, “Reach.” I understood what he meant immediately. He wanted me to reach for the things I wanted rather than do nothing.¬† At the time I thought about it and said, “Reach so that when I get something it is taken away or ends up being less than what I hoped? No thank you.”

The following is what I jotted down about it:

In my mind it just seems to make no sense to go through all the effort to get something only to have a huge let down in the end. That is what happens with everything. I get a job/new career, there is excitement and interest for a while and then I get bored and it ends. I have a relationship and it starts out exciting and then gets boring and I lose interest so it ends. Nothing seems to last so why bother?

Then there is the problem of determining what it is I want to reach for. The only thing I want right now is not good for me (in my opinion). To reach for it, to put myself out there by reaching, is too risky. What if I get refused? What if the reaction I get is disdain, boredom, disinterest? What if…..??? Take away that one thing and all else just seems pointless.

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Dream: Jackpot

This was from this morning:

I was inside a public bathroom (purification/self-renewal) stall using the toilet. A baby (new beginnings) peeked over the top and the crawled into the stall with me and sat on my lap. He could talk and said something I can’t recall. My root chakra activated and he left. Confused I tried to make sense of it when another baby did the same thing. It was as if I was receiving “treatment” but it was uncomfortable to my human self because it was babies providing it!

Feeling revived from my experience I walked into a new scene where I was reporting for my new job. There was a long conveyor belt and cash register with a woman standing nearby. She oriented me on my new position. The job felt to be a mixture of personal trainer and something else, perhaps cashier because the word “checkout” kept coming to mind. All I recall now is my pay was $14/hr plus commission and I was pleased.

Then I was walking along city streets filled with people. My destination was my hotel (new state of mind, shift in personal identity) which was a large building that looked from another time. I realized I had forgotten my room key (access, wisdom, opportunity) and turned back. When I did I saw a man sitting near my stuff. He was listening to music from the 1980’s. I realized he was calling/serenading (expressing love) his love and said, “I don’t think songs from the 80’s will work.” lol He said, “Really? Oh.” He seemed sad.

As we stood there together he motioned to my bag and asked me, “Aren’t you afraid someone will steal it?” I looked and saw my purse next to a backpack about ten feet away. I said, “No. There is nothing of value in there anyway. Let them take it.” I then focused on my purse and realized I didn’t care if it was taken either.

I sat with him and watched older movies from a tiny phone-sized screen. I said, “Why don’t you buy a bigger screen like a computer?” I then told him about my laptop telling him it only cost me $500. He pulled out a device and it was odd to me. I said, “Is that a phone?” He said, “No.” It looked like a hand-held slot machine. I saw the top of it spin and reveal three gold images: jackpot (need to take a chance in life).

I turned and looked away but when I glanced back the whole place was dusted in snow (fresh new start). I said, “Is it just me or did everything suddenly turn white?” He said, “Not just you. It’s snowing.” He then said to me, “A great northern (progress) is coming in.” I saw in my mind a visual of the tops of mountains and a strong wind blew over the top carrying with it two feet of snow. I could feel the wind very strongly. It was powerful.

When I awoke I had the same Knowing I mentioned above. Things are about to accelerate.

Dream: Journey to the Seat

Very active dream night. I am not as tired this morning as I have been and so dream recall is higher than normal but still not at optimum.

Dream: Alma Mater 

I don’t recall much about this dream now, which is disappointing because the messages that came through are quite memorable. I like being able to explore the symbols. What I recall now is being inside a very fancy ballroom or somewhere similar. The walls were white paneling and the ceilings domed with similar paneling. I was with several others walking up a very fancy staircase discussing relationships.

From here it gets blurry. I mostly remember circles being cut in half. I am not sure if they were fruit or not but the one I recall was red like a cherry. There was food, though, because I was taking small chocolates and cutting them in half. Someone said to me, “Alma Mater” in the dream but I can’t recall why.

I began to cry during this dream. It was a feeling of regret mostly, regret of not seeing the good in my husband. Most of the dream was discussing all of his good qualities and viewing him as I did when we first met. Presently, it reminds me of how I use to grieve for the loss of my first marriage when I was recalling our history. One tends to look at all the negative in the moment but in hindsight you can see the good and how easily it is overlooked.

When I awoke I heard again, “Alma Mater”. I stopped crying and remembered what it meant: Bountiful Mother. I knew I needed to revisit a post I had written about it. There would be a message in it.

Here is the post. I had written it in my other blog on WP so it took me a while to find it. The picture is part of the post. Basically, the message is to “Be the Goddess”. However, the feeling I had upon waking was that I needed to somehow return to seeing my husband’s good qualities like I did when we first met and dated. I am not sure I can do that with all the time that has passed. We will celebrate our 10th wedding anniversary Nov. 24th.

ceres

Dream: The Seat

This dream was so good I did NOT want to wake up from it.

It began with me driving on a small motorbike with another woman. She felt like my sister or a close, inexperienced friend. She was in control but I soon realized she could not drive well. I said, “You’re out of practice.” I took the handlebars and let her have control of the gas and brake. Steering her in the right direction was difficult because it was dark and foggy and the roads were unfamiliar. We eventually had to stop to wait for morning.

A traveler came and took us the rest of the way to a small town. There I met others, mostly women. One woman had an old leg injury that I healed with my hands. I remember feeling the intensity of the energy as it surged through me. She felt instant relief and thanked me.

Then we traveled to the next location. The woman with me was a traveler and the other woman from the beginning was no more. I believe the two of us merged into one and that is why she was no longer present.

At the new place I was washing my hair, putting conditioner in it. Then I went to a car, the traveler’s car, to get something but the key was stuck. I pulled it out, an alarm sounded, so I reinserted it and turned it to the left. The key released and the alarm stopped.

I exited through a building that had lines of students inside. They all recognized me asking me, “Did he really cry?” I felt like a celebrity based on the energy in the room. I said he did and passed through.

On the other side I was standing by the motorbike with a woman at the edge of a very large crater. A man was standing there with a woman. When we saw each other there was recognition. He left the other woman’s side and joined me. I knew we were married. We then each put on a parachute and jumped into the gorge. I remember thinking, “I normally wouldn’t do something like this!” I felt such excitement, though.

Somehow my partner and I were split up but I didn’t seem to care. I looked down at the landscape below. It was so beautiful and went on and on forever it seemed. The bowl-like depression was lined with jagged mountains. Each mountain tip seemed to be situated purposely like a flower petal around the center of the bowl. There was greenery intermittent with rocks. I was elated as I landed close to the center.

I saw ahead of me a brilliant white, rectangular platform in the center. I walked up to it and thought, “This is the seat”. In my mind I thought “government” and there was an image of the White House of the U.S. crumbling as if to confirm that I was at the location of the “new government” as the old one had fallen. I lingered only for a moment because I wanted to find my partner. I looked and saw his parachute in the distance and knew he had landed.

I headed in the direction of the parachute and saw that he had fallen into deep water. The strange thing is that the body of water appeared like a channel that had been purposefully dug. It looked like one of the spokes of a huge wheel. In the water were three men all swimming but unable to get out without assistance. The first man called out to me. He had very blonde hair and was smiling. I remember thinking, “Ken” as in “Ken and Barbie”. I passed by him and the other man, my eyes on my partner at the end.

When I reached him I leaned down to help him out. I saw his dark hair and eyes and smiled in recognition. He grabbed onto my arm and pulled himself up but his weight was so much it pulled me down and almost into the water with him. I helped him out, though, and he fell on top of me.

He sat up, straddling me. He was completely naked. I assume I was, too, but that was not my focus. I was too happy to see him and kept kissing him eagerly. I wrapped my legs around him and we kissed and laughed for a bit. I kept pulling him toward me and not letting him get up. He said to me while motioning toward the seat, “We’ve got to get going…..” I said, “I don’t wanna….” I remember thinking to him, “Pleeeeeease” He was resisting my advances but I could feel what he wanted was the same as what I wanted. He was concerned others would see us. He felt exposed. I acknowledged him but sent him, “So? I don’t care.” It was understandable to feel exposed. There we were, both naked out in the open with at least two other men watching and who knows who else could see us.

I felt the moment he made his choice. He finally stopped holding back and gave in to what he wanted (and I wanted, too). In that instant I saw the number 111 flash behind his left shoulder. Then, I felt a surge of energy in my root chakra like a bolt of lightening. It came with a release, like years and years of pent up energy finally had somewhere to go. We both felt it but the intensity of it was too much for me and when the second surge hit, I woke up.

Afterward

When I awoke I was crying. I couldn’t help myself. It was just so beautiful. I was overjoyed, overflowing. I was also very upset to have woken up. What awful timing I have! I spent a good amount of time after that lingering in the memory of it, savoring it.

My mind then went to the dream before and all the symbolism. The two versions of myself becoming one – the experienced one and the one needing practice. I remembered the “traveler” and the strange key. The room of children asking over and over, “Did he really cry?”

The most spectacular was the bowl shaped depression we wound up in. I knew the “seat” was the “seat of the soul” and that the “bowl” was a chakra. The mountains around the edge were in the shape of a flower…..a lotus maybe? And the water was between each of the mountain tops in linear shapes all pointing to the center. It was as if we were in the center of the actual chakra!

The crumbling “government” and new government must be symbolic of the Ego and the Higher Self. One crumbled, “destroyed”, replaced by the better, more experienced one. Yet I did not linger at this new “seat”. Instead I helped my partner who had gotten stuck in the water (emotional overwhelm maybe?). I suspect we would both have gone to the seat together had I not awakened prematurely!

As I smiled at the realization of all of the above I heard very distinctly, “Pilgrim” and the Enya song came to mind.

 

Dream: Job Termination

Prior to bed I asked for clarification on the dream I mentioned in my last post, the one where I was in the check-out line and received the message, “Removal Order.” I asked my guidance to give me more clarity on it because it has been bothering me. A straight-forward explanation would be ideal. I felt immediate confirmation via an all-over-body surge of warm energy that spread around me like a hug. Honestly, though, I did not expect much from my request and these days that is the norm. Once I send out the request I usually forget about it right away, especially if it is prior to sleep because for some reason I fall asleep immediately after. lol The only reason I even remember I made the request this morning is that a dream triggered my memory.

Dream: Job Termination 

I was in dark, factory-like setting that was hard to make out. The colors are what stands out – various shades of gray brick and black shadows. There is a feeling of being on the balcony of a large building, though, similar to a warehouse, looking out over a city. I was with another person whose appearance and gender I cannot recall. I don’t remember when I was told but I received notice of my termination of employment as a teacher. My feeling was of shock at first especially as I heard that I would receive payment for a time after my job ended, the amount was $11/hour I believe.

The part that is most memorable is my question. I was asking about the other employees, would they also be receiving notice soon? I was told that they would but it would not be in advance like mine. They would be told of their termination on their last day and be asked to leave. Some may get a few days advanced notice but most would not. In my mind I saw these employees. They looked like security officers. I got upset and became concerned with their well-being, questioning why they would be treated so. I remember a male voice telling me, “Be grateful you are getting advanced notice.”

I recall standing there for a while letting the information sink in. It felt a bit overwhelming for some reason and I began to become lucid as I realized what was being discussed. I began to sob and woke up.

When I awoke my first thought was memory of my request prior to bed. The emotion I felt stemmed from a feeling of uncertainty and endings. Was this my answer? Was I being told that I would be leaving my “current position”? If so, then what does that even mean? I don’t even have a job right now other than stay-at-home-mom. Does it mean I lose that job? Or is it something more….like am I being removed from the position I have in this lifetime? And severance pay? Huh? Pay = reward for hard work and this pay is $11. There’s that number again.

Trying not to think about it too much, I drifted back to sleep.

Dream: Haunting Myself

I was lying in bed and woke suddenly. To my left I saw a swivel chair. The chair began to spin very fast. It got faster and faster to the point that it looked like a blur. In seeing the chair spinning I became terrified and started screaming, “No! No!” To my right I sensed the energy of several people but I could not see them. They began to close in around me and my panic increased. I heard someone say, “You are doing this. It is all you.” The voice did not make me feel any better but a part of me knew that there was nothing to fear. I ignored that part, though, choosing instead to resist.

It felt like the people around me were coming to take me away. There was no negative energy coming from them or the spinning chair but I felt wild with panic for some reason. I began to speak in another language trying to ward them off. It was like an incantation or something that was said to keep out negative entities. It didn’t work, though. The chair kept spinning wildly and the invisible presences came closer and closer. I was surrounded and my last memory is of the energies looking blurry white and me freaking out to the point that I woke up, heart racing and scared to move.

Even after I awoke I felt still to be in the dream. The room was spinning a bit and my heart was racing still. I laid there frozen for a while waiting for my heart to slow down and for my fear to abate. I remember perceiving my physical bedroom as the one in the dream and so it took a while to get my bearings and see it accurately. I wondered briefly why I would have such a nightmare. I don’t have nightmares, or at least haven’t in a very long time. As I type this I suspect I was trying to wake up in my dream and since I didn’t listen and chose to be afraid I muddled the attempt.

Other Dreams

The rest of the early morning (I first woke at 4am) is a mixture of dreams and in-between moments as I tossed and turned trying to recover lost sleep.

In one dream I recall being a man and fiddling with my penis (lol) which felt very real and so was fascinating to me being I am a woman in this lifetime. Funny thing is, I have had other similar dreams in the past and always love the experience. I suspect it represents my masculine side in some way. Dream symbolism suggests it means power and sexual energy.

In another dream I saw a large egg that had hatched. Next to it was a full-grown dragon (strong-will and fiery personality) but I only saw it’s head. It was dead, though. The dragon head was dark gray with bright yellow-orange highlights and was very beautiful. I felt sadness over it’s demise.

Then there are shadows of memories of talking to someone about making plans. I remember thinking that all the plans that were in the works would not matter. It felt like I needed to prepare for a trip, to tie up loose ends. There is also vague memory of switching places with someone but it is very hard to remember and the more I try, the more the memory recedes into my subconscious.

There was an entire vision-dream of my husband telling me about some property. It felt like my mom’s but I am unsure. The feeling was that he had gone his own way and was asking my permission to continue with his plans for the property. As he told me these things it felt like a wall of invisible energy was constructed between us. He was on one side and unreachable. He was standing in my mom’s living room and behind him I could see scenes flashing, like from a movie reel. There was a feeling of time passing, moving forward very fast. The feeling I had when receiving this information was grief and not having control over what was going on because I would not be present on his side of the invisible wall between us.

Finally, as I woke, a piece of the dream about losing my job came suddenly to my memory. There was a calendar and on it two days were circled. The first was a bright red 2 and the second date was a bright red 8. The 2 looked to be toward the end of the week, like a Friday. The 8 looked to be earlier in the week like a Wednesday. I knew this was the “termination period”. Turns out November 2nd is a Thursday and November 8th is a Wednesday, just like what I saw on the calendar in my dream.

Considerations

I feel normal this morning except for feeling a bit tired still. My immediate feeling is that the dreams and visions I had were to prepare me for something to come. Perhaps there is something going on between November 2-8th that is significant for me (maybe others as well)? One of the things that crossed my mind during one of my brief waking moments between dreams/visions was that I was about to “die”. Again, this is likely just the death of some aspect but who knows. I am ready for this “death” regardless of the kind that it turns out to be, so I am not at all concerned about it.

The fear dream is a total surprise to me. I have no idea why I had that dream nor do I know why I was so afraid. Perhaps the people coming to “get me” reminded me of some past life and so I acted on the memory? It did feel like I was about to be “taken” and from a place where I felt safe (my bedroom). Symbolically this could indicate that something is about to happen in my life that takes me from my comfort zone against my will, but who knows.

Regardless, I am thinking it may be best to stop asking for clarification. lol

P.S. You may be wondering why I am posting more. I created a poll on my FB page asking people to tell me their blog preference – WP or Blogger. WP won so I am trying to slowly transition back to WP.