Eat Your Carrot Already!

This will be a quick post. Not even sure why I’m writing it except that I feel I should. This should be interesting….

Eat Your Carrot Already!

Many of us (me included) may have felt at one time or the other as if we were being led along on a wild goose chase, lured by that unattainable carrot held out in front of us at the end of a stick. You know that carrot, right? That one, yeah – the one you were holding out in front of yourself. 😉

Hare Krishna: Performance Review - Carrot tied to Donkey

Don’t you just feel like an ass now? 

Well guess what? We’ve gotten that carrot. Finally. Yep. Now what? It’s time to eat it, of course! And what is in that carrot? Vitamin A? lol Think symbolically. A carrot is symbolic of clarity, specifically eating a carrot indicates clarity has been attained. So you actually have to take a bite to get that clarity. If you stand there looking at it you won’t get clarity. If you touch it, smell it, put it in your pocket for later – no clarity.

Some of us aren’t eating our carrots. Why would we do that? Why would we spend so much time chasing that carrot, figuring out that we held it/had it all along, grab it and then do nothing with it?

So eat your carrot already! If you don’t, it will do what carrots left out for long periods of time do. It will rot and become useless. We don’t want that now, do we? We don’t want all are hard work to rot away into nothing.

Why am I writing about carrots anyway? Well I dreamed I was eating one and it was so very sweet. In fact, all I recall of the dream is holding this perfect, orange carrot in my hand, taking bite after bite and relishing the taste. I think it was the best carrot I’ve ever eaten. Really.

The message, of course, was that I had received clarity. The type of clarity came later.

Relationships

I sorta knew that the clarity was related to relationships. I’ve had some major “ah-ha” moments regarding relationships lately. Specifically, I have recognized that I do not belong in a traditional, human, monogamous relationship. This realization hit me after experiencing a new type of relationship, one that even now I am sorting through because it is so outside of what I am use to. I would love to describe it in detail, but I know that many are still not ready to hear what I have to say. There is still too much debris hanging around the human energy field in regards to relationships. I mean a TON of it, not all of it related to sex either.

So I will give you the short, manageable description. This new relationship is not limited to loving just one (put sex out of your mind – this isn’t physical). The whole idea of loving just one person at a time is ludicrous. I mean, you love your mom and dad, your siblings, your children, etc, right? Insert sexual relations and the idea of loving everyone gets really distorted. The thing is, sex isn’t love, so we get all confused because we think that one equates to the other. We are so confused that we actually shut down those feelings we feel when we love someone because they are too similar to feelings we have when we feel sexually attracted to another.

For example, I recall having feelings early on when I was a child about my grandmother. She would often take her fingernails and lightly scratch my back. It felt so good and I wanted her to keep doing it but a part of me felt “bad” because it made me feel so good (again not sexual). I had already, at a very young age, attributed “feeling good physically” to sexual arousal which equated to feeling I was “bad” because I felt it for another woman, and a family member at that. So the solution, inevitably was to stop any feeling that came close to what might be arousal, thus keep a distance from my grandmother and anyone in my family (or otherwise) who might make me feel that way. The only person who I believed I was allowed to let me feel good was my husband, and I had no husband.

I’m not saying you all did that, but there is a good chance you experienced something similar.

So this new type of relationship allows you to feel again, with anyone. It is purely energetic but to get to that energy you have to let go of the beliefs that restrict feeling, physical or otherwise. You have to get past your physical self and all that conditioning. Which is why I have to stop the explanation at this point because my guidance is warning me that many, many are just not there yet.

It reminds me of a conversation I once had with my guide about “sex” on the other side. At the time I had no idea what my guide meant but I remember commenting that it seemed to me like he was saying everyone in Spirit was having spiritual orgies with one another. Openly and freely. I laughed so hard I almost cried. But I didn’t understand. I do now. It isn’t sex of course. Not even close. It is Divine Love. It is the merging of one soul with another. And yeah, we do it all the time in Spirit. It is our natural state.

This new type of relationship involves merging our natural spiritual state with our physical human one.

So traditional human relationships go right out the door.

So what to do about this “ah-ha” moment now that I know what relationships I am looking for? I’m not quite sure. I mean I am married and technically IN a traditional, human relationship. Ha! Jokes on me, I guess.

In considering all this and trying to push it all out of my mind – I’ll just be normal. This is all just crazy. What am I thinking? – I stumbled upon this blog post by Lisa Transcendence Brown. She says this month is all about evolving relationships.

These parts stood out to me the most:

Our NEW EARTH RELATIONSHIPS are built, they are constructed and formed over “time”. There’s not one ounce of lack, need or compromise involved. There’s zero dependency and because all agendas are visible, there’s no hidden anything anymore… Our NEW Earth Relationships go through a lot for years, as we come in and out of each other’s lives for awhile, clearing karmic residue, until we’ve cleared the entire timeline and all of the energy we held within. Then we move to “short exchanges”, where there’s a vibrational purpose, yet the relationship can’t fully form, because everyone is in different places, vibrationally…. The only “long term” exchanges we have are with others who are fully aligned within themselves and fully invested in creating and together…. and living by Our NEW Earth Value System… which is nothing like Old Earth’s was.

And then:

Get ready. For our highest Star Families to Unite, our Highest Soul Families to Unite… all as Light BEings here… all those egoic, lack based realities must dissolve or be re-aligned if they are to continue into the next timelines….. otherwise the entire timeline will go. As higher selves, we close those old timelines out ourselves, mark those Soul Agreements paid in full and write all new realities, activate all new realities and call forth our own highest aligned realities to experience here. September is a massive Passageway… to bring more together who are truly ready and stepping up…. who are truly ready to invest in creating new together and share together as love too. This can’t occur as long as everyone’s still holding onto the old…. observe your own relationships/yourself…. this will show you everything you need to know here.

The word “ready” in in bold because as I was copying and pasting it I remembered saying to myself and my guidance on more than one occasion, “I am ready.” Though I was not sure what I meant at the time, I still feel it to be true, and there is more of an understanding of just what it means.

Are you ready?

And OMG, that carrot really tasted good.

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Seeing My Truth

Well, well, well. I finally fell asleep at a decent hour and got caught up on sleep! Hooray! Turns out my daughter was at a sleepover last night. So I’m thinking it has been her that has been making it hard for me to sleep. We’ll see how tonight goes.

Twin Springs Preserve

Yesterday was a fun day. My husband and I were suppose to go together to explore a trail in preparation for a trail race we will be running in two weeks. He bailed on me at the last minute because he is working on a huge wood sculpture. I decided to go on my own intending only to walk the trail for a few hours. However, when I arrived near the location I saw an entrance to another trailhead, the Twin Springs Nature Preserve, so I opted to explore it instead.

I spent about an hour exploring the trail, sometimes running, sometimes walking. No one else was out there, which made it that much more fun. It reminded me of my younger years when I would explore my grandparent’s 52 acres, hiking and exploring the rugged hills for hours on end.

The trails were not easy to see, so I often went off the trail and had to backtrack which was fine with me. I ran into wildlife on the way – among them a herd of deer and a coral snake. By the end my shoes were completely soaked and my legs covered in mud. I felt much like I use to after a day of exploring my grandparent’s place. I think I was high on the experience for a good three hours after. I was going to head out again today but it is raining pretty hard. Rain is forecast all week.

Here are a few photos:

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I do not find it coincidental that I ran into a coral snake. He surprised the heck out of me, too. He was right in the middle of the trail and blended in so well that had he not moved I would have stepped right on him. I was in the midst of running and came to a dead stop from the shock he gave me. I have never seen a coral snake in the wild and was not expecting one in the hills of Central Texas. Rattlesnake, yes, coral snake, no. When I took the pictures my hands were shaking so much that it took several shots to get one that was in focus. lol

Coral snakes have the second strongest venom of any snake in the world, behind that of black mamba (source). Thankfully, coral snakes are fairly passive and unlikely to bite you. If they do bite you, they have to “chew” with their fangs to deliver their venom, meaning you would have to be an idiot to be bitten by one, playing with it and letting it chew on you. lol So, I was really in no danger from this snake unless I wanted to be. I watched him for a few minutes and went on my way but not without recognizing how significant and rare it was to have run into him.

Since the Kundalini has been so active in me this year I am betting this snake is a reminder to me to be on the lookout for more. Considering the coloration of this snake, there’s likely to be continued work in my lower three chakras. Additionally, based upon how this snake presented itself, hiding in plain sight, I will probably be caught off guard, shaken but otherwise unharmed, and in awe of the encounter. Sounds like fun to me! 🙂

Dream: Decision

I had several dreams, all indicating that some in-depth conversations were going on with my guidance. It amazes me how my memories of the dreams I have lately are often accompanied by flashes of memory of a guide and a summary of the conversation. This was one of those.

In this dream I was in a classroom with a few other students and a teacher. I knew I was in 5th grade preparing to attend an award ceremony. As the other students left the teacher kept me in the room with her. I asked why and another student told me I was to receive 5 books (knowledge) as my award. I remember the three of them were technical type books, like self-help, self-study books. I was not interested in them and asked if I could return them. I was encouraged to keep them and applauded for my achievements.

The thing about the dream that is odd is that I was a full grown woman, not the age of a normal 5th grader. The other students and I were being prepared as teachers and would soon select our first jobs. I recall knowing that I could go into 6th grade or I could opt out.

As I contemplated my decision I saw my potential future flash in front of my eyes. It was my current life with my husband and what would result if I continued on that path. The flashes I got were not of specific events but of lessons. They came all at once and what I remember the most is the feeling of them, like the impact they had on me. The feeling was so intense that I could taste it and it was distasteful to me, like eating a really sour gummy worm.

There is also memory of the way these lessons appeared visually, like something being twisted over and over again. You know how you can take a piece of licorice and twist it and bend it without it breaking? That is what it was like. The sense from this was that all I would get was the same lesson twisted this way and that so that it appeared different but in actuality it wasn’t. This was very unappealing to me and I recognized how trapped I have been by the illusion of progress it presents.

My decision was that I did not want to go into the 6th grade. It felt like a whole other “level” to go there, just like it feels when you graduate from one level of school to the other but more like the decision one makes when they graduate high school – college? no college? Trade school? What do I do with my life?

I remember the gist of the discussion around this decision. I was asked if I was certain. In my mind I saw ahead of me a vast void of nothingness – the unknown. It scared me and I hesitated but I confirmed my choice. The fear is what I recall the most.

Seeing My Truth

I woke up with a sense that I had just contracted my own death, but I know that is not what it was. An entire discussion commenced then about who I am. For the first time in a very long time I could see this other me, the real me, the one at a soul level who has been hidden by human experience, fear, and limitation for such a very long time. I felt both relief and anxiety upon seeing the Truth of myself. Relief that I had finally found her and could see/feel her/me. Anxiety at the many layers of “protection” I had placed over her to the point of hiding her and ultimately forgetting her.

What is curious about all this is that I recognized how I have chosen time and time again to live with forgetting myself. I think many of us walking in the Light this lifetime have done this. We were conditioned to do this to protect ourselves from the harsh reality of this physical world. We couldn’t cope without burying ourselves in protective layers of illusion.

I know that others in my soul family are being prepped to step out from under all those layers. We are already sensing it, that nudge and pressure to shift direction. Some of us may be feeling an urge to do some drastic things, but I don’t think that is necessary. It can be gradual. But that sense of urgency is there and it is purposeful. It says, “Listen. Pay attention. LOOK.” For me, I am being asked to remember myself, that Truth that has been hidden all this time by attempts to stay safe and hidden from others and this world because of how different I am.

We have been slowly meeting others like us so that we can see we are not alone, so we can be reminded of our Truth through these very special encounters. We still don’t see it, or better yet, we don’t want to see it because it is scary. But what I can say to those like me who are still avoiding seeing themselves – the Truth – is you won’t be able to hide much longer. We can do it alone, which is the scariest prospect, or we can do it together.

The thing is that we think in such drastic terms. Every possible scenario that comes to mind is of the worst case. But what of the best case scenarios? Or better yet, what if a beautiful surprise awaits? Sadly, it is human to think the worst will happen. So what ends up is that we have to get to a point that the worst case becomes acceptable because we are too tired, too fed up with the ways things are.

Question is: Are you there yet? 😉

 

 

Hello Belief. Goodbye Belief.

How are you handling the blood moon total eclipse and full moon energies? How about all the planets in retrograde? lol Crazy, right?

I have been reading “rebirth” as the theme of these times. Some are saying this is a total life change type of rebirth, like heading in a totally new direction in life via unexpected pathways. Thing is, it is not easy to tell just yet because it is isn’t over. There is another eclipse – a partial solar eclipse – on August 11th.

I am also reading that during this time life will bring up unresolved past issues in unexpected ways. A similar message came to me via dreamtime indicating I may run into issues from 2010. I can’t even recall much of 2010 so IDK. lol I am sure life will remind me when the time is right.

Finally, “emotional” is another word I am reading frequently. This full moon will bring “heightened emotions” for all signs of the zodiac, etc, etc. Thing is, don’t all full moon’s have the tendency do this?

For me, personally, I have already indicated that I am not noticing too much myself. Yeah, I have had a couple of emotionally intense dreams and some irritation at too much random noise (talking especially), but otherwise things are pretty smooth-going and calm for me. In fact, things are looking pretty darn good. Based on the way my life has been going, I have to say all this retrograding is great and I like it. And the full moon eclipse brought me my first OBEs in ages, so I am happy with it, too. I say bring it on and keep it going because it is awesome. lol

It is always interesting to me how everyone jumps onto the current bandwagon (eclipses, retrograde planets and now Lion’s Gate) and makes a big deal in their own way. This happens every.single.year – well since I started following blogs and being more active online (around 2014). I wonder sometimes why everyone gets so excited over these types of things especially since they have been occurring since the beginning (of Earth, of physical Time as we know it). If I think back to before my awakening and compare how I felt then to now (energy-wise), it hasn’t changed. The only thing that has changed is that now I know such things are happening behind-the-scenes. Beyond that, it is still the same.

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Real-time shot of the sun that morning.

Recently I had a talk with my husband about the universe sending us “symbols” and “signs”. He doesn’t believe in such things, really, but he got a sign nonetheless and I pointed it out to him because, well, that is what I tend to do. lol The way it happened is he and I opted to have breakfast together before work one morning last week. As we drove to the restaurant, the sky opened up and gave us a beautiful show that lasted the entire drive. It brought me joy and I mentioned it but my husband kept talking away (as he tends to do) about current issues and life stuff.

At a stop light he stopped talking, turned and touched something I couldn’t see. He said, “Look at this! See this tiny worm? It’s on a string! I wonder what kind of worm it is?” I looked and saw it was a tiny inch worm. I told him it was a message and that I could look it up for him. He said, “I don’t believe in that kind of thing.”

What he does believe in is that we are the cause of everything we experience. I pointed this out to him and asked if he could consider then that the worm was placed there by him and the reason for it’s placement was known by him, if he only chose to look/listen. I asked him to consider what it meant to him. He didn’t answer but was pensive for a while. His main take from the whole conversation was that the universe has much to show us if we would only stop and pay attention.

Later, I looked up the inchworm symbolism and low and behold it fit him and his situation perfectly. I sent him an email and we had a good laugh about it later.

The whole point of this story is that none of it matters – the astrological events, the eclipse, Lion’s Gate, ascension, etc – unless you think it does. Period. There is no “right” or “wrong” about it. It just IS. If you choose to notice, then you will see. If you choose to hear/receive a message, then you will hear. If you believe Lion’s Gate will blow your world apart or rain blessings down upon you, then it will. Rebirth? Why not? Just believe it and it will BE.

For me, it is easy to say, “Well I didn’t know any of this until my guidance brought it to my attention. Otherwise, I would never have known about a ‘rebirth’ and the ‘opportunity’ coming my way.” But this is not true. This is just the human part of me playing the game of “not knowing” in order to experience “not knowing”. Ultimately, we know ALL. There is nothing we don’t know unless we choose to not know. Chew on that for a while. It will throw your human mind/Ego into tantrums pretty quickly. lol

So, if you think this eclipse season is the reason for all you are experiencing right now – it is. And so is anything else you believe will come of it. If, by chance, you “sense” a negative experience arising from this belief, then you do have the ability to shift that to your advantage. The catch is, you must believe. hehe That means you have to undo your previous belief (meaning no longer believe) and institute a new one. Not an easy task and why we often get stuck and think that things are happening to us and we have no control over any of it. It can take many days/weeks/months even years to undo a belief!

What I have learned is that thinking and analyzing regularly leads to more complication. Surrender is the best route. This means tossing expectation (which is composed of belief) and just accepting in the moment what the universe has to show you in that moment. This all boils down to having no belief, which is humanly impossible (at least to my knowledge). Notice the emphasis on human. So try and give yourself a break and just enjoy the ride. We are human after all.

 

Dreams, Signs and Syncs

More dreams, signs and syncs. Some interesting pushing by my guidance, I must say! Also, the exhaustion continues. I have been sleeping way more than usual (10+ hours a night) and am very tired by mid-afternoon. It is not the usual slam by the energies where I am flat-out, but is it noticeable….and welcomed.

I started this post two days ago so the first dreams are from the 22nd.

Dream: Warrant

I woke in the morning too early to rise so decided to go back to sleep. When I did I asked for help deciding what to do. I can’t seem to make up my mind about the yoga seminar this Fall. I want to go but then I hesitate to register. Back and forth. I’ve been waiting for some consistency in my feelings regarding this decision, but it has yet to arise.

I was a passenger (letting others make decisions for me) in a car driving in a big city somewhere. It felt like Houston but then all I recall are highways and the blur of lights. The man driving had dark hair and a big smile. He seemed familiar, reminding me of an old acquaintance of mine from long ago. This old acquaintance was a double Libra of foreign birth. He was being playful with me and both of us were in high spirits.

A man’s voice came up on the radio mentioning my husband’s name and the make and model of his car. They said he was wanted for something. I realized we were hearing police radio (unrest in subconscious). The man with me said, “You better warn him!” I picked up my cell phone and called my husband but the connection was spotty and he couldn’t hear me. I kept repeating, “You need to get off the highway. The police are looking for you. There’s a warrant (important decision being made) out for your arrest. Take side roads. Avoid the highway.” He finally heard me I think and the call was dropped (communication break).

Then I was in the car with my husband but the car seemed to not exist. Instead it was like we were floating in a bubble. We were looking for food and took a road leading to a cafeteria-like space with many restaurant (overwhelm) vendors. Cars were not allowed so when we drove in my husband had to back out and find a place to park. That left me inside with the other man who I had been with previously. He wanted Asian food and so we were walking around looking for some.

I stopped and spoke with a vendor. The woman told me they made various egg dishes, showing me two kinds. One was an egg souffle that had red sauce on top. It resembled a volcano. The other was an egg souffle (set course of action) that was opened up with spices inside. I told her I wanted the second one. I said, “I don’t have money. My husband is bringing it.” The woman set it aside. I could see the dish. The egg was split apart and had red spices coating the center.

Dream: Declaration of War

In this dream I was observing a royal couple. They had promised their daughter to a neighboring country. She was to wed their son. The couple was discussing this while preparing their daughter. I never saw the daughter and it seemed like she was me at times.

When the daughter was preparing to leave, the two royal (strength) couples were negotiating terms. I remember listening in while looking through a box of tampons (tension/aggression). I could see blood (emotional stress or tension) on some of them. It was like the box was a communication device. The woman on the other side of the box was the royal mother of the daughter. She and I spoke through the box, her giving me updates. There was one point when the box seemed to be full of blood. I could see blood dripping down the sides. This is when the mother told me that the other royals, specifically the mother, was acting strange and changing the terms of their contract.

Then I saw the other mother. She was tall, wearing a black and gold headpiece that reminded me of an evil character from a Disney movie (Snow White comes to mind). She gave an ultimatum, saying that she didn’t want to negotiate anymore. Her terms were simple, “Give us your country and lands or go to war (disorder or chaos).” I remember that the name of the country ruled by this evil woman was Mars. There was a sense that other “countries” were involved. Jupiter and Earth were mentioned.

Before we could respond, Mars was attacking. The scene shifted and I was on a highway (life, goals) hiding under an upturned truck (work) with a man. There was debris everywhere and shots were being fired to the point that the sky was full of explosions. None of the explosions harmed us, though. They just bounced off everything. I remember the man saying we couldn’t be hurt, that it was all for show.

Signs and Syncs

In addition to the dreams I’ve been getting some other messages. Firstly, I keep seeing frogs. In fact, when I woke up yesterday morning there was a frog picture laying by my door. Here it is:

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I ignored it initially but then while scrolling through FB I ran into multiple images of frogs posted by friends. One was an image of a tree frog with a butterfly sitting on its head!

Later, I saw the image of a frog in the tile on my bathroom floor just above the yin/yang symbol I had seen months prior. Weird!

And after that I was looking through a drawer for something and this was peeking out at me!IMG_2768

This frog drawing was done by my sister four years ago. Same kind of frog as in the other image – the red eyed tree frog.

By this time I already knew the frog was a message, so I looked up the symbolism. Turns out the frog comes around to help guide one through a life transition of some sort. The fact that two of the images I saw were red eyed tree frogs was interesting. What I have read indicates the red eyes help them see in the dark. So perhaps I am being advised to look to my intuition, uncover hidden aspects and take a closer look at something in my life?

The first image relays information about the call of the frog sounding like a baby rattle. My thought is to focus on the word “baby” here. I was recently told I was being reborn. Baby = rebirth. Connection made.

The second image was drawn by my sister when she was in prison. She often sent me drawings like this one (she is very talented). Her life has been a challenge since her release from prison. Her prison time coincided with the end of her marriage and other upheaval. When she was released she married our first cousin and they had a son together. This, as you can imagine, created family tension. However, she has found a sort of happiness with her new life, despite its challenges. So, this particular frog image could be indicating change and upheaval related to rebirth. At least that is my interpretation.

In addition to the frog message, I keep having reminders of the yoga seminar in Atlanta, Georgia. The on-again, off-again indecisiveness is bothering me. I am NOT normally so indecisive. I ask for help from my guidance. They give it. And keep giving it.

For example, in the midst of all the frog sightings I am doing this on-again, off-again crap in my mind over the yoga seminar. Out of the blue, on the tail-end of once again putting off a decision, I get a call from an unknown number. I rush downstairs to answer it but it is too late. When I check my phone I see this (but the missed call was the top one, I took the screenshot after another missed call):

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I get tons of phone spam as you can see. Most of them are from Austin (my area). It is not common to get one from another state, though it does happen. Yet from Atlanta, GA? At the exact moment I am thinking about the yoga seminar? Ha!

This is just the one reference to Atlanta that I documented, too. There have been numerous other ones. I keep shrugging them off.

The top thought I have is that all of this “coincidence” of signs is because I am thinking about the seminar. I think, “My thoughts are creating this. That’s all.” You know how when you buy a new car, all of a sudden you notice your new car is all over the place when before you swear you rarely saw it? Like that.

When I add the above dream “answer” to the symbolism and syncs it gets a bit unsettling. I can’t help but think the planets mentioned may play a part in this. Is there something going on with Mars, Jupiter and Earth this year that may create a tendency for “war”? Gawd.

More Dreams, Signs and Messages – Squirrels and Housecleaning

As time passed more dreams added to the increasing number of messages.

Squirrel Family Dream – June 23

I was next to a bed on the floor. There was a side table with something, plastic, poking out. I pulled it out and a tiny baby squirrel (hoarding or preparation for the future) came with it. It was not scared of me but wide awake and curious. It was looking for food so I gave it a tiny piece of fruit. It took it, still not afraid.

I showed the baby to others, tended to it and decided to take care of it long-term. I love squirrels and had them as a child so this is not a surprise.

Then I went back to the nest to check for other babies. When I tugged on the material from the nest a large mother squirrel came out. She was soaking wet (emotion). She saw me and turned around back to the nest. Then she came out with one of her babies in her mouth only it was fully grown. She communicated that she wanted me to take the baby with me. So, I led her to the other baby squirrel. Eventually she had brought out her whole family (preparation in regards to family future change), all the babies fully grown (maturity reached) except the one I found earlier. The mother squirrel was very grateful and thanked me telepathically for saving her and her family.

Squirrel Encounter

Yesterday (the day after the above dream), I went for a run. It was too hot and I got overheated so I rested under the shade of a tree. I heard a rustle and looked up. This is what I saw:

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Of course my dream came instantly to mind so I took this pic. The squirrel sat on that branch looking at me the entire time I rested there.

Squirrel symbolism is all about preparation for the future, family, communication and practicality. I find it no coincidence that I did not plan well for the run that sent me to the shade of that tree. I tend to not plan ahead but do things on the spur of the moment “just ’cause”. Had I been more future-oriented I would have gone on the run earlier and hydrated better. It seems like squirrel is trying to tell me, “Hey, if you plan ahead then you can avoid all-out war, emotional upheaval, etc. Think about it.” lol

I love squirrels!

Housecleaning Service Dream – June 24

In this dream I arrived at my apartment (financial or emotional state) and a woman dressed in a maid’s (dependence on others) uniform was there with her cart. Her uniform was baby blue and white. She had a partner who was at the neighbor’s apartment door about to go inside to clean it.

I greeted her and told her I had not been expecting her and to come inside. When inside I called out to my husband and children but no one answered. They weren’t home. I put my things down on the kitchen counter and went toward the back, lighting a cigarette (dependence on others, need for a break) as did so. I apologized to the maid, telling her I needed to go outside because of the cigarette. I told her it was good no one was home so they would not get in the way of cleaning. I put the cigarette out and then the butt fell to the ground. I apologized and she said, “We’ll handle it. No worries.” I still looked to make sure it was not going to start a fire.

I stayed outside as she went back in to clean (clear clutter and negativity from life, moving ahead to new stage) the apartment. In my mind I was thinking how nice it would be to have the place cleaned without lifting a finger. A nice, clean space appealed to me. I remember seeing in my mind a vacuumed floor and smiling.

The maid returned shortly after with the bill (something I have done is costing me). I looked it over and saw that they automatically charged our visa card. Upon further inspection I saw that there was a fee associated with this. $24 for a visa and the amounts went up for other cards. It was a rip-off and I asked the lady if it was possible for me to pay via check and stop the autopay service. I said, “My husband often uses the most convenient method to deal with things without looking at the fine print or considering the disadvantages. He seems to have done the same this time around. This fee is ridiculous!” She told me it would be fine to pay by check. I went inside and grabbed my checkbook out of my purse and wrote a check. I don’t recall the amount now but it was over one hundred dollars. I paused thinking it a high price but then completed the check realizing it was worth it. Note: Assuming this section is in reference to how others cannot handle things for me as well as I can and that I am willing to “pay the price” for making my own choices.

I surveyed my clean apartment. It was clean and organized. I could see the kitchen bar and the living area beyond. It was a nice place and felt like my home though in waking reality I have never seen a place like it.

I walked to the sliding glass doors and back out on the patio. I walked across a wide open patio deck (my connection with Self and nature) that was at least 40 feet across. It was elevated, at treetop level, with nice railings and there was a set of patio furniture toward the end overlooking the trees. I smiled, enjoying the spaciousness and saying aloud, “This would be the perfect place to do a yoga class! All I have to do is move the chairs.” I imagined the yoga mats spread out under the open sky and grew excited at the idea of teaching a class there. This part of the dream is full of wonder and possibility. I am elated, free and expansive.

As I turned to look behind me at the apartment I saw the apartment patio next to mine (another’s connection to Self). The same spacious patio extended from the back. In comparing mine to theirs I noticed their patio looked newer while mine had a few warped and sun damaged boards and looked older.

I turned back around, walking to the end of the deck and saw that there was a small, narrow bridge (connection made) with rails that extended off to the left. It led to a small room or house (extension of self). At first I assumed it was a storage shed but I could see a tiny kitchen and space beyond. Excited and curious to explore, I headed toward it but my dream ended before I could go inside.

Considerations

All the above dreams show my process right now. Not only does it seem like I am being prepared but I am also being told outright to “prepare”. I was even told not long ago that I had just been born and am now learning how to walk. Ha!

In the deck dream I was being shown my connection to my HS and the possibility it brings. Similar to the dream, my guidance continues to remind me of the experience I had in February and how I felt a surge of excitement about yoga – practicing and one day teaching it. I have been having dreams where I am practicing yoga even. lol In this particular dream I was very excited about teaching a yoga class outside on the deck. The apartment space was free of my husband and family, indicating a freedom from the burdens and responsibilities that go with them. I freed myself long enough to recall my excitement for yoga.

This morning a conversation ensued with my guidance about what I want. I struggle with motivation when it involves doing things that benefit or nurture myself. I am being asked to begin to do things for me, to pursue that which brings me joy and to stop waiting for others to give me permission to do so. When asked what I want I keep going back to that feeling of Divine connection and love. I want that in my life and in my partnership with another. Everything else just seems like piddling about in comparison. It is hard to find excitement about anything else.

My guidance reminded me that I have felt the excitement before, when I got my first teaching job. I was so high on life that I use to arrive at work early and leave late. I couldn’t wait to go to work. I am reminded of how afraid I was to take the steps it took to get me to that space in my life. I had to leave my marriage, the security it offered, and go it alone (OMG that was hard to do!). I had to apply for jobs and be rejected. I had to push past my fear of the unknown, my fear of failure, and use my degree as it was intended in a large high school with students who were taller and bigger than myself. In the end (and to my surprise) I connected easily with my students and found my purpose.

The lesson is that sometimes we have to step out into the unknown in order to let life show us ourselves. We can’t see it otherwise, especially if we stay in a situation out of fear, frozen and unable to move because we just don’t know what will happen. Afraid of losing what we have even though the unknown can bring us more than we could ever imagine.

For now I keep being pushed to go to the yoga seminar, to look into an internship and teach my first class. Similar to when I got my first teaching job, I will have to trust the path ahead and let it lead me to opportunity. If I never take the first step I will never know what awaits beyond the situation I am in now.

In my past I was seemingly “forced” to take the steps that led me to “freedom”. I was near suicide and it was only because a “voice” woke me and told me to go that I finally did leave. This time I am being given the chance to take steps on my own, without the “forced” feeling. In a sense it is harder because the urgency – the have to – is not there. I do not have to do anything.

There is also a part of me that prefers to lean upon another. I recognize this is not good. I need to rely upon myself. I need to find my purpose, that which brings me joy. My tendency is to take on the goals and purpose of my partner. The ideal scene is to have my own purpose and goals while being supportive of my partner’s. If I continue to put the needs/desires/goals of others over my own I will continue to feel unfulfilled and empty.

I have yet to purchase the seminar and secure my slot. The sense is that I have more lessons and inner work to do before I commit. Every day I am more certain, more clear, about what it is I am being asked to do but I cannot commit until I am 100% about the why behind my commitment. I can’t do this with any expectation attached. I have to go with an open heart and open mind, fully open to possibility.

Just going to that location will test me. I seem to have a strong pull to that general area but also I know people around there who I feel drawn to. Soul family. The last time I was in TN/GA I didn’t want to leave. It will likely happen again. I need to be prepared for the recurrence of emotion and connection that was there before. Being centered and strong in Self is the only way to navigate my way through.

No wonder I am so exhausted. 🙂

 

Welcome 2018! – Multiple OBEs

So 2017 is now behind us. Hallelujah! Doing the happy dance over here. I am SO happy 2017 is over. Not that is was all terrible but it was mostly a very tough year for me. It was all about letting go, healing, peeling off more layers of illusion/false Self, and difficult inner work. If I look back at this time last year it still makes me shudder a bit. I would not wish what I went through on even my worst enemies. I hope to never experience that kind of pain again.

I had a Knowing yesterday that someone in my family will pass this year, someone not close to me but close to my mom or MIL. It was not disturbing to me but I know it will be to someone close to me – not my immediate family, though (husband and children). My grandmother has sisters who survived her and they are all getting up there in age. Similarly, my MIL has family that is pretty old. We all contemplated who it might be but didn’t linger on it. What will be, will be. As always, I don’t see death as a grievous thing but as a release; freedom from the limitations of the body and this physical existence.

A comment was left not long ago about how the first 12 days of the new year tell of the coming months. One’s dreams provide a sneak peak at what to expect. So, I have decided to record what dreams I remember over the next 12 days. Maybe I will be shown what is coming? Maybe not. We’ll see how it pans out.

Multiple OBEs

I can’t recall my dreams at all for some reason. All I remember is waking up in tears at one point. It is odd that I don’t recall why. I woke the night of the 31st in tears, too. Maybe the full moon is pulling it out of me yet again. I had hoped 2018 would mark the end of the teary dreams. Guess not.

When I woke at 5am I was wide awake and feeling disappointed and sad. I rolled over on my right side and fell into thoughts of the year ahead. It wasn’t long until I shifted OOB and into a dark room.

My energy was low and so it was difficult to remain OOB. I would shift into the dark room, roam about for a bit trying to get my bearings, and then shift back into my body temporarily. I did this approximately 5 times for varying lengths of time.

I don’t remember much except the dark, unfamiliar room which I assumed was a version of my bedroom. There was an excursion out of my room and the house but it was short-lived. As soon as I attempted to fly out the window I felt to hover as if stuck in place and then my vision blacked out completely as I shifted back into body. Then there was one instance where a black man was sitting in the middle of the room smoking a strange looking pipe. It resembled a large, perfectly cylindrical stick with a tiny mouthpiece on the end. He smoked it and then offered it to me. I politely refused and went back into body.

The final OBE was the longest and most memorable. I exited my body thinking, “I need to do something to stay longer.” Then I drifted over to the stairs and decided to jump down rather than “walk”. I hesitated feeling it was not advisable but then pushed past the consideration and jumped over. The fall down was bumpy as if my considerations paused the fall.

When I got to the bottom I headed toward the front door. Remembering I needed to do something to increase my energy I looked down at my hand. I was wearing green garden gloves so had to take them off to look at my hand. Oddly I don’t recall what my ungloved hand looked like but looking at it seemed to work.

I floated out the front door and noticed the front lawn was different. Instead of grass it was stones separated by dark mulch. When I looked up I could see the night sky but the stars were not as brilliant as they should be. I looked harder, trying to get the sky to clarify but it never did.

I floated out toward the street and immediately noticed the streets were covered in clear ice. Delighted I thought, “I can ice skate!” I went down to the street and began to try and skate only since I had astral legs it was more of a sliding motion. I tried to get my feet to work but gave up quickly and just enjoyed slipping and sliding down the street.

I skated for some time and ended up wondering where I was going. I paused and looked up at the sky again. The stars were still muted it seemed and I focused on them again to try and get them to shine more brightly without success. Then my vision blanked out but instead of it turning black and shifting back in body my vision became white and the outline of petals began to form. It was as if I was looking into the center of a white lotus or similar flower. Fascinated, I stared into the white petals and they shifted and morphed into the outline of a distant scene. The more I looked, the more the scene solidified and I realized I was being offered the opportunity to shift to a higher level of astral via some kind of portal.

Despite being given the opportunity to shift to a new scene I opted out. There was a strong sense of boredom over all of it. I can’t recall my exact thought but it was something like, “No matter where I go it won’t matter or change anything in my physical life so why bother?”

I felt myself shift back into my body and it took a bit for my energy to stabilize. I felt bored and disappointed by the experience and my thoughts were on the coming year. I felt 2018 was not going to offer me anything except more struggle and upset.

Interpretation

OBEs offer similar insight into one’s waking life as do dreams. In this case I was unable to maintain my energy and my vision was dark most of the time. This indicates that I am unwilling to see something as it is; so my confront is low. The low energy indicates a lack of motivation. The pipe symbolizes satisfaction, comfort and contentment in life. The fact that I refuse to smoke it indicates I feel none of those things or am not open to receiving them.

The fact that I can’t see the stars as brilliantly symbolizes my life outlook. Life is dull rather than brilliant. The ice on the road indicates I am not feeling that I am making progress in life. Ice skating means I need to proceed with caution in some situation or relationship.

Finally, the fact that I do not take the opportunity presented and shift into a different, higher scene, indicates my overall feelings toward life at this point in my journey.

 

Dream: Double Dragon

I couldn’t sleep last night for a sore throat and severely watery eyes. Even sucking on a cough drop didn’t help. It was 2am before I fell asleep and I woke at 6am. 😦

Dream: Double Dragon

In this dream I recall being outside in the country walking along and then looking up in the sky to see two dragons (fiery personality, highly spiritual, good fortune). They seemed to be one but then not one, like flying so close they were one. I kept myself hidden under bushes, trees and such as I made my way through the country. I recall seeing the dragons several times. I wanted to stay hidden from them just in case they might eat me.

I encountered a crystal clear stream (profound understanding, emotion) running very swiftly downhill. It didn’t run through rocks or earth, though, but through a culvert or canal that shimmered with gold (spiritual reward) and crystal (unity with Higher Self) leafing. It went underground and I stepped into the shallow water and walked against the current up toward a small waterfall (letting go) that flowed out of an unknown source. Though it was underground it was very light and open inside with windows looking up and out onto the road the stream ran under.

Feet wet I crawled up a wall. Still on the lookout for the dragon I saw them in the distance to my left. So I grabbed onto little outcroppings in the wall of a building and crawled through a window. The building now reminds me of a castle (recognition for accomplishments).

Inside it was pristine, like a very fancy hotel (shift in personality). The windows opened up onto a veranda upon which I found myself. I walked through the glass doors and into the suite. I knew I had stayed there before. It was for couples and I remembered being with a partner though who that was specifically I do not recall.

I realized right away that the place had been locked up for the season. Everything was set up for the future guests – little welcome chocolates with note cards, flowers and fluffed pillows. It was very beautiful and a place I would love to stay at.

For some reason I became suspicious about the place being closed. It was too early in the season and so I investigated and soon found a young man laying on a sofa. I was with a woman and we discussed how it could have come to be that the place was closed down. She suggested the heir mismanaged the money and we went through photos of people from long ago.

The man on the sofa stirred. We suspected he was the heir and when he woke we confronted him about a murder (putting an end to something), though at the time there was no evidence of one. As we mentioned “murder” though there was a knife (aggression, need to be decisive) in his hand and it was found that he had stabbed (sexual domination) himself in an attempt to make it look like he was attacked. I remember there was blood (disappointment) all over his chest and we discussed how he could have stabbed himself in the heart and not died.

Changes of Note

When I woke this morning the dragons in the dream were vivid in my memory and made me think of Chinese astrology. I am a Dragon, specifically a Fire Dragon. My husband is also a Dragon. Whether that is significant or not, I don’t know, but it was on my mind upon waking.

It was curious to me that the dragons in my dream appeared as one. To me that seems to indicate a union of two aspects, likely masculine and feminine. The hotel I visited was one I had been to before, in my astral memories, and I had been with my partner. It seems to fit with the two dragons and the other dream symbols suggest my dream is about success in regards to some aspect of union.

In a conversation with my husband last night he brought to my attention positive changes he has seen in me. At first I didn’t know what he was talking about but later agreed with him. Mostly, the changes in me are that I am lighter, less prone to fixating on the negative, and less resistant. I have lost interest in fighting with my husband over any subject. It is just not worth my time or energy. I choose to focus on the things that lift me up and make me feel positive. This is a conscious decision I make over and over, day after day. If I find myself angry, upset, or fixating on something, then I make a conscious choice to let it go however I need to so that I feel relief.

I have completely let go of certain things that were weighing me down. As a result my mind is quieter and I am much more at peace with my life. That which use to bring me grief and heartache (heartsickness) no longer evokes those feelings but instead leaves me feeling calm and accepting. I recognize that the source of the connection, the Divine love and friendship that once caused me to feel like an insane drug addict (lol), is ME. I am the calm, the peace, the love, the friendship, the joy that I am seeking. It just isn’t as I assumed it would be. I kept thinking it was something I had to rise to, to obtain somehow through hard work and struggle. Slowly I am finding that access is granted via allowing, acceptance, patience, and nurturing of Self. It comes with ease and grace…..and I am slowly beginning to understand how to unlock mySelf from within…if that even makes sense. lol

Ultimately it all comes down to choosing in every moment what I want to experience; making a conscious CHOICE to flow with my life rather than against it. It isn’t as hard as it looks. The only time I really struggle (somewhat) is when I come up against something that triggers me in a negative way. It can be absolutely excruciating to let that go and allow things to flow as they are meant to. Giving others….ALLOWING others to have something at what my Ego thinks is my expense is not only difficult but sometimes scary as hell! It’s the giving up of my control….but no it isn’t. That’s a lie. It is better said that I trust that all will work out for everyone involved no matter how much my Ego interprets the present situation as being a threat to it. This trust involves knowing that no matter the outcome I CAN handle it and will never be given anything I cannot bear.

Someone once tried to explain the above to me and I just didn’t get it. I do now I think. Words just don’t explain it, though. You can say, “Live from the heart” but really it doesn’t mean anything until you have taken your own personal route to the heart and find yourself in it and finally understanding.

 

 

2 OBE’s and Informative Links

Two OBEs to share and some considerations, also.

OBE: Crocodiles in the Water

Woke at 5:30am and rolled back over feeling a bit sad that I had not had any lucid dreams or OBEs in quite some time. I even requested it two nights in a row with no success which is unusual. I have been very tired lately and sleeping for 9-11 hours a night. So, I figured I must just be too tired.

Within seconds (or so it seemed) of rolling over to return to sleep something alerted me to a shift in vibration, though I do not recall feeling any vibrations. I rolled out of my sleeping body and stood up. My vision was full-on, vivid and sharp and I was not in my bedroom. I was in the living room of what appeared to be a small house with white, lace curtains. I could see the front door and the adjacent window. Sunlight was streaming through the lace hitting a potted ivy plant sitting on a table.

I believe I had been laying on a sofa in the room but didn’t turn to look. My intent was to go out the door and get away from my sleeping body. I felt a bit unsteady in my astral form as if I would lose the OBE if I lingered or stopped to survey the scene. I talked to myself to get more stability but I can’t remember what I said now.

When I reached the front door I went to grab the door knob and thought to try and move through it instead. I met a solid surface so opened the door as normal and floated/walked through. Outside was beautiful and resembled a city park. There was a long walkway through green, manicured lawns with shrubbery out in front of me. To my left was a large, slow-flowing creek or small river. The waters were muddy and sluggish as if there had recently been a storm. Beyond the river to my far left were tall trees through which I could not see beyond for the thick undergrowth.

I went down the few steps from the stoop and did not hesitate to head toward the river/creek. For some reason I wanted to go straight into the muddy water. I jumped in right away and felt the cold water surround me. I never went all the way under, though. The water was only waist deep.

Once in the water I felt a strong current that from the surface was not noticeable. I looked to my right and thought, “There are crocodiles in this water. I better get out fast.” There was no fear with this thought only intent to exit the water. I never saw a crocodile. Note: Crocodiles symbolize some aspect of self I am avoiding. Muddy water is muddied emotion.

As I crawled up the side of the embankment onto the leaves and underbrush of the forest beyond I swear someone reached down to give me their hand and help me up. Yet I can’t recall seeing anyone just feeling support being offered by a male presence. Out of the water I stood and looked into the forest. My thoughts then were, “I don’t know what to do next.” I felt apathy hit me and became heavy, losing my astral sight and settling immediately into my sleeping body. Note: My apathy and not knowing what to do mirrors my physical life.

OBE: Friends

Once in my body I exited again but with less lucidity than the exit before. I could not see and once again felt someone was with me. I spoke to myself to get more stability and recall saying, “I can’t see. I need to see.” As I said those words my vision came on slowly and I could see my own eyelids slowly fade as my vision turned on. It was a really cool experience and I remember saying, “Oh yeah, I see through closed eyes here. Vision isn’t the same.” It was as if I had to remind myself of how things worked.

This time I was inside a house with several others who I seemed to know. We interacted for the entire OBE but I have since forgotten pretty much everything. I do know there was a very tall woman who was the focus of my attention. She towered above me and the others by at least a foot. I was aware of my “other” life while with these people but again can’t remember it.

The reason I can’t recall it clearly is because I entered into several lucid dreams after this last OBE, one right after the other and each with less and less lucidity. I woke briefly at one point but was too groggy to bother trying to remember the OBEs and dreams. I was also disappointed at how uneventful the two OBEs were. They seemed so boring and pointless so why try to remember them?

Difference Between OBE and Lucid Dream

Only recently have I been more intent on having more OBEs and lucid dreams. This is in part due to seeing so many of my online friends posting about their experiences. Some of them have OBEs almost daily! I use to have frequent OBEs but this year my stats have dropped significantly.

A few days ago someone shared a link that caught my attention. It was to an article about the difference between OBEs and lucid dreams. After reading it my feelings were mixed because for me the differences are not so cut and dry.

If I use the list at the end of the article to define the above experiences then I believe they qualify as OBEs:

Stable environment
Environment not under my control
Expectations did not affect the environment
Eyesight was vivid, vibrant; I could feel with my mind (this is always the case with me, though).
Body image – unknown, I did not care if I had a body or not
I was bored (seems to be big indicator of OBE)
Didn’t see my body but again, didn’t care
No sexual encounter

Most of my OBEs are transitions from lucid dreams, which is also mentioned as a possibility by the author (the fourth state).

I think that the list should include that the experiencer is aware of shifting out of their physical body with or without the presence of vibrations. For me, this is the #1 indicator that I was OOB because I am conscious of leaving or re-entering my physical body. In the case of it beginning as a lucid dream and shifting to an OBE I may not be aware of leaving my physical body in the beginning but but in the end I am conscious of re-entry. I also believe one can begin an experience as an OBE and then lose awareness and shift into a lucid dream.

Anyway, back to my renewed interest in OBEs…..

A friend posted a link to this website and I spent some time reviewing some of the articles. It occurred to me that if I could go OOB more that I could observe some of the same things the author of this site has observed. In fact, I already have. I know, though, that I need more uninterrupted time and more sleep to be able to go OOB as frequently as I would need to. I just don’t have that right now and it will likely be many years before I do.

I recommend you visit the above site as it has many useful article about consciousness, OBEs, lucid dreams and multidimensional states.