Time for a Little Change

I’ve been working on changing things up. As the featured image says, you can’t get different results by doing the same thing over and over. So I figured changing up my routine might work. I have to find new things to do, things outside what is my norm. Mix life up a bit. I will have to figure it out on my own, too, because it is clear my guidance isn’t going to help. 

Daily Yoga

For the past three weeks I’ve practiced yoga daily for 20-35 minutes. I decided to change up my routine for various reasons but mostly because I have been feeling rushed, stressed and overly emotional. There are moments in life when something’s gotta give and this was one of them.

During the first week I dropped my normal exercise routine completely. I’d already whittled it down to three days a week for 45 minutes without experiencing any relief. I also started going on daily 1-2 mile walks beyond just my normal dog walking.

That first week I was so tight and sore! OMG! My entire body hurt. I had muscles hurting I didn’t know I had. And as someone who weight trains that was a big surprise. Ha! I remember thinking, “Isn’t yoga suppose to make me less tight and sore?”.

The second week the soreness began to fade along with the tightness. I continued to go on daily long walks and added in two days of bodyweight circuit training (10-20 minutes total). This was mainly to keep good heart health by getting my heart rate in the aerobic range, which yoga doesn’t do.

Last week, the third week, I added light weights to my circuits (heart health again) and increased the number of workouts to three days a week while continuing my daily yoga practice.

I intend to keep up the daily yoga. It fits perfectly into my schedule. I take my dog for his morning walk and then do my yoga. The rushed, overly stressed/emotional me has disappeared. Instead I feel more balanced and calm. I find myself enjoying the little moments and my body feels good!

Three weeks of yoga =
Better sleep
Calmer
Less anxious
Less tense (in mind and body)

Energetic Shift or Something Else?

This last week there have been other changes, too. IDK for sure if it due to yoga or something else. I heard there was a solar storm, so maybe that’s part of it? Whatever the cause, I’ve been having some odd physical issues.

My resting heart rate, which is usually pretty low due to my physical fitness, is getting super low at times. Typically it will dip into the high 50’s when I sleep. No biggie, but last week it was as low as 40 during sleep and started happening during the day! Along with the low heart rate I have been having dizzy spells that come on suddenly. For example, one time I was doing the dishes and felt like I was going to fall into the sink. I had to brace myself momentarily and wait for the feeling to pass (which it did and fast). I also felt fuzzy in my head, like being high. Similarly, one morning after yoga (two days ago now), I was hit with the same odd “high” feeling and then my legs felt unsteady under me, like they weren’t my legs at all. I had to sit down immediately and wait for it to pass. I checked my heart rate – 40bpm. That entire day I felt “off”.

Today I’ve not had a low heart rate but the weird “high” feeling has been with me all day. It is only recently that it disappeared and that was only after I did over an hour of energizing breathwork (think Breath of Fire). Honestly, I didn’t expect to feel so amazing after the breathwork. The fog lifted, my energy stabilized and I feel better.

I’ve also been feeling really groggy when I wake up and my dreams have been unique, to say the least. I experienced the Kundalini in a new way – again. The K never disappoints, that’s for sure! Ha! I may post the dream experience at some point, but I think for now I will just say that the energy of the Kundalini seems to be balancing out and syncing with my physical body’s energy. If that even makes sense. As usual, it was pure awesomeness. I am completely amazed and blown away.

Is it the daily yoga or something else? IDK but I’m going to continue the yoga regardless. If it makes the K crazy then I’ll just tone it down and do Hatha yoga or something.

Exploring Options

I’ve been looking at ways to get myself “out there” (as in around people) again. The breathwork I mentioned above is part of that effort. I returned to Meetup after over a decade to scroll through the various groups in my area looking for one (or two) that I might want to join. I wasn’t looking for anything specifically, really, just checking out the local groups and getting use to using the app.

I stumbled upon a local breathwork group and felt an inner “YES” that pulled me to explore it further. I ended up finding past Zoom recordings and listened to one on a whim, hoping, if anything, it would help the weird zombie feeling I’ve had all day. It was energizing breathwork and it did not disappoint! They meet via Zoom every Sunday but I will probably just use the recordings until there is a Sunday when my house environment is better suited. Kids at home = noise and distraction. Not very good for pranayama (breathwork) and meditation. If they had an in-person meet-up I’d be there for sure, but they don’t.

There are other groups I’m considering but none of them has called to me like the “Breathe” group.

What is interesting to me is that it is Meetup that helped me connect to a Shamanic Healing group years ago when I had just stumbled into my spiritual awakening. I learned so much and met some wonderful people, people I still keep in touch with at times. Who knows, maybe something similar could happen again? And you know what is strange? I’m not against that happening. In fact, I hope it does.

Heart Healing Bliss

I’ve been focusing on clearing and opening my heart after recognizing a block there is limiting my access to the Bliss.

The first time, I was laying in bed doing a breathing meditation. I decided to focus on my heart and as I did, I saw a large Band-Aid. So, I peeled if off slowly and set the intention of healing the remainder of the wound from when my heart connection disconnected (end of 2016). When I peeled it off, I could see a raw spot, indicating a wound nearly healed, which was reassuring.

Afterward, I kept meditating and focused on my heart. It was not long after pulling off the Band-Aid that my chest began to feel warm. Then, I felt a pulling sensation in my chest that intensified until it began to feel uncomfortable. As soon as I noticed the discomfort, the feeling vanished.

When I stopped meditating, I rolled over onto my side and talked with my guidance for a while. I don’t recall what we talked about now but the overall feeling was that they would help me and I would be successful at opening my heart. Then, two very distinct bolts of “lightning” hit my chest area followed by a deep aching in my chest area that caused me to get slightly concerned because it lingered for so long.

More Emotional

Not long after I had a dream that indicated I should call my mom. In the dream I was awakened by an insistent knocking on my door. When I answered, my mom was standing there with my aunt who was sitting in a wheelchair. I rarely see my aunt in my dreams and since I know she is battling breast cancer, it felt like a warning.

When I called my mom she was in good spirits but when I asked her about my aunt, she began to open up to me about some past issues that were coming up for inspection for her. She got very emotional, crying and choking up, and causing me to get a bit choked up as well. 

The things she brought up had to do with her parents and some traumatic memories she had of them from her childhood. In one instance, she described a memory of how her mom bought her a new pair of glasses without telling her dad. When he came home and found out, he threw her mom across the room. In another memory, her mom was about to slice a piece of pie and said something passive aggressive about having to slice it just right, when her dad, furious at her mom, stuck his entire hand in the pie and put some on his plate. It destroyed the pie and traumatized both my mom and my aunt.

My mom explained how she was angry at her mother for much of her life and decided she would never let a man treat her like that. She told me she believes that’s why her marriages failed and why she struggled with relationships with men. She said she saw how she became like her father even though she was trying not to and hated herself for it.

We went on to talk about my sisters and her upset regarding them. I listened and gave her my viewpoint, telling her I understood and do not blame her for anything. I told her about how I handle and heal my own past trauma, advising her to not avoid the pain but move through it. Each of us has to focus on healing ourselves and, in doing so, we assist in helping others to heal.

As I wrote the above, it is clear to me that I missed a very clear message to myself. “The only way out, is through”, and this applies very much to me right now. 

That evening, when winding down for bed, I had some strong emotion arise out of thinking of what my mom told me about my grandfather. I didn’t know he was abusing like that! Of all the father figures in my life, I was the most connected to him. I saw his mean side but it never really bothered me too much. Yes, he did some things that could have caused me trauma, but, thankfully, they did not. My love for him always won out in the end. I could see his true self underneath. I really miss him!

I also thought of the trauma my mom and her sister are still trying to heal. It makes me sad and in that moment I could feel their pain. I remember thinking, “Their pain is my pain, their love is my love.” 

Pranayama Meditation

That night I decided to do a pranayama breathing meditation. It consisted of breathing in for five counts, holding the breath for five counts, and breathing out for five counts. I did this for seven minutes and it was quite challenging!

While meditating I could feel a wonderful heaviness spreading through my body. Even though the mediation was a breathing meditation, I felt guided to my heart center. This time, rather then seeing a Band-Aid, I saw a string hanging down. I grabbed onto it and looked up and saw a bright red balloon. With the joy of a small child, I let the balloon go and watched it disappear into the sky. I knew that it was symbolic of letting go, something I very much long to do in regards to the past hurt I have been carrying around with me.

I fell asleep without issue, feeling warm and comforted.

During the night I had dreams of a spiritual gathering. The group was very large! There were at least 50 of us. We encircled a large swimming pool, hands clasped, as we began our meeting. We discussed our unique spiritual gifts. A woman said to me, “You can hear people’s thoughts, correct?” I thought for a moment and then said, “Yes, I guess I can. Sometimes I hear them very distinctly, but most of the time it is muddled. And sometimes I don’t want to hear them! I could probably better control this gift if I practiced more.” 

There isn’t much more I recall from the dream but when I awoke I was very aware of a warmth in my heart chakra and energy moving through my body. It was mostly “energy hug” energy, which is when the energy originates in the center of my spine and spreads outward, washing me in a calm, soothing bliss. There were times the energy would linger in certain places, and when it did it felt very healing and pleasant. This was most obvious in my second chakra. I swear I could feel my entire uterus!

When the energy began to fade I said to my guidance, “I want to feel that (the energy) all the time.” The energy instantly returned and I sunk into it, feeling the love and reassurance of Spirit. I recalled being told recently, “What you want is there, you need only to reach for it” and from this point on a long conversation ensued with my guidance. Unfortunately, and as is typical, the exact messages I received are lost to me now. What I remember is that I was advised to wait for “the proposition”. This caught my attention because, as a Projector, I am suppose to “wait for the invitation”. So their use of the word “proposition” brought me out of my reverie momentarily. 

The entire time I communicated with my guidance, the blissful energy lingered. I was covered in it, waves upon waves of it spreading out from my core. The bliss has a way of pulling me deep into Knowing. I go so deep that the Knowing I received does not come as words but as feeling. This is why I so rarely remember any words. At the time of Remembering, there are “words”, at least it seems so, but they don’t remain, dissolving into only feelings by the time I come out of my reverie. 

When I began my day it was with appreciation instead of hesitation. I want to feel this every day. I want to be this every day. 

Practicing Pranayama

I have been practicing Pranayama since my last OBE indicated this would be necessary for me to progress spiritually as well as to aid in dropping the astral body. So far I have just been following my intuition as to the breathing I am doing. I have some experience with Pranayama via Kundalini yoga, so I am not completely in the dark.

I practiced Pranayama about three times yesterday, maybe more. This morning I did it as soon as I woke. Here is what I have noticed thus far:

• My body does not like long, deep breathing. Currently I can only count to six before I feel as if I am being suffocated. lol This is likely too long (counting to four is most common) but it takes counting to six to fully expand my lungs. Sitting upright or laying down makes no difference.
• My heart chakra lights up as if my chest is on fire. This happens mainly when I circulate my energy in conjunction with doing deep breathing.
• The morning seems ideal for using energizing breath. I found that this really made me feel good and got me out of my mind fast. Afterward I ended up clearing my lungs of stuff I didn’t even know was there. Not so nice but then at least it is no longer in my lungs!
• My energy body expands past my feet and head when prior to practicing the breathing techniques my energy feels more contracted.
• If done at night, the breathing shifts me very quickly into a light then deep trance state. So far I am too distracted during the day to practice for more than a few minutes at a time.

An acquaintance of mine on FB mentioned that the energy circulation practice my guides showed me sounded very much like something called the microcosmic orbit meditation or the small universe meditation. These are associated with Quigong. When I reviewed some of these meditations on YouTube I found that they are in fact very similar to how I circulate my energy while doing deep breathing.

Here are two videos I found. I have not done them yet but plan on it when I get time alone.