I was doing good and then….not. 😦
I woke this morning once again wishing that I could sleep longer. I even said to my daughter, “I wish I could sleep another 20 years.”
At least my desire to sleep was not fueled by the desire to escape this life. I just really wanted to linger forever in that heavy, wrapped in dreamy sleep feeling. As I write this I think of a blanket of stars wrapped around my astral body. Ahhhhh the feeling is wonderful!
Still, though, it was difficult to get out of bed knowing that not much was awaiting me except more of the same. Yawn.
But I got out of bed and moved through each step of my morning routine half-asleep. Conversations from the day before, random musings and lost dreams created a cocktail of thoughts, none of which really grabbed my attention.
Coffee. Yes! Funny enough, coffee in dreamtime = awareness, but this time in waking reality awareness was provided almost instantly. It is curious how coffee can do that, isn’t it?
I sat at my computer and checked WP, which is not my normal routine but I thought, Maybe a good blog post might improve my mood?
I discovered I was drawn to posts that validated and reminded me of recent messages I have received.
One message was, “Focus upon what you want, not what you don’t want.” Remember that one? Why is it so difficult for me to do?! Ugh!
Anyway, I found this short post almost immediately (Source). The message is the same:
I just couldn’t seem to get it right.
My body was in the correct position. My muscles were contracted. But every time I tried to find my balance, I would wobble and fall back onto my feet.
“Maybe you just can’t do crow pose,” I told myself.
“Bullshit,” I replied.
For months, I kept trying. During one practice session, I grabbed a pillow off my couch, placed it on the floor in front of me and promptly nailed the pose. never even coming close to face-planting in the pillow.
Curious, I removed the pillow and tried again.
It was then I realized the role that pillow was playing. Because the pillow was uncomfortably close to my face, I craned my neck slightly and shifted my gaze forward. Without the pillow, I was looking down at the ground, which was exactly the place I feared ending up.
Focus on where you want to be, not where you fear ending up.
It seems so simple, doesn’t it? Yet, it’s far from easy.
We all have a tendency to put our focus – our energy – on those things that we fear.
And much like a new driver who instinctively steers into an adjacent lane when looking in the sideview mirror, we tend to move in the direction of our focus.
Where are you looking?
Very succinct and to the point and just what I needed.
The next message I received recently, yet I didn’t blog about yet, was received yesterday morning.
There was more to the message but it is lost to me now. I came out of my reverie and intercepted the message which, of course, deleted part of it. I wish that didn’t happen! But it doesn’t matter. I remember enough.
At first I was confused, questioning what it meant and breaking it down into its parts to try and figure it out. Who is “they”? What do you mean, “leave”? Where am I going?
That got me nowhere.
I then recalled a message I got some time ago now (months now?).
Hmm. Maybe the two are connected? Probably.
I got an image of a spacecraft coming down to Earth, leaving my physical body and getting on board with thousands of others – like in the Book of Revelation. lol
I decided to put the cryptic message on the “shelf” until later. Sometimes the message makes sense at a later date, sometimes not.
Back to this morning….The next blog I ran across seemed to answer my above questions, at least partially.
There is no reason to be-leave in something “otherly,” because when you leave your being, you give them that opening. Embody now, your natural state, know the truth and you are free.Source
Do you see it? “Leave” is in there twice. Perhaps the message I received is not about going somewhere at all. Maybe it is about embodiment?
As a result of the above two posts I entered into a kind of “ah-ha” moment which I am still processing. Previous messages and experiences began to line up as if to create an arrow pointing at…..I don’t know what. lol
I recalled a dream not long ago where I was told an event was being created “just for me” in November.
I recalled a conversation I had with my husband just recently. He was telling me about his theory of why his mother, who is sick and in pain all the time, won’t leave her body. He said he believed what kept us tethered to our physical bodies was communication. Our bodies allow us to communicate, he said. Without them we can’t communicate with others in bodies. I told him, “That isn’t true.” I went on to explain how when we come into this world we are taught that our body is the only way to communicate, but it is a lie and we believe it so it is our reality. There was much more to our conversation but this is what I was reminded of – the illusion we believe and so are trapped by.
There was also memory of a recent dream I had where I realized following the rules/crowd and being a “good girl” was getting me nowhere (Escape the Bus!).
Then there is memory of how one day I saw a soccer ball in a ditch. I turned around toward my dog and then turned back, intent on retrieving the ball for my kids, only to find it was gone. Vanished. I searched but found nothing, yet my memory was solid. I then thought, “I shifted timelines” but tossed the idea as ridiculous. Later that day a FB friend suggested I had jumped timelines. I thanked him for helping me to believe what I already knew to be true.
And a recent opportunity also came to mind. I can, if I want, go to Costa Rica and stay in a two bedroom home on 400 acres of private land. My sister-in-law lives there part-time working as an equine therapist.
There are so many other ideas/messages/experiences that come to mind, too. I am left with a feeling that is hard to describe except to say I feel like something is coming.