Diamond in the Rough

How was your October 1st? Did it feel different than September?

For me the word that describes yesterday best is: refreshing. 🙂

Probably because I am sleeping so well now. Ha!

Now that the lessons of September have made themselves known to me and I have digested them enough to really grok them, I am feeling much more positive and optimistic about October. So change is coming? When isn’t it?!?

More Signs – Everything is Gonna Be Okay

All day yesterday I was receiving signs from the universe in various shapes and forms. As usual, I was not looking for them yet they appeared obvious to me nonetheless and left me with a feeling of awe at life, the beauty and complex simplicity of it all (purposeful oxymoron there :)).

I had to go into work because the ransomware attack left the company’s computer system a mess and once again QuickBooks was down. Thankfully, I was able to drop Elek (my youngest) with my SIL. This was out of the ordinary since on Mondays and Tuesday I usually work from home because my SIL is unavailable. On the way from my SIL’s house to work a song came on that seemed to echo in my head and brought about this “frozen time” feeling (sign of a message coming through). Here’s the song:

It reminded me that I choose how I feel. And so, right there, I chose to be happy in the moment, to count my blessings and not allow life to get me down. Perfect song don’t you think?

The day went about fine and I headed home early. I took Monty on a walk and came across this:


The picture makes it hard to see, but on the walk what I saw in those tiny flowers was obvious: a heart. There were no other flowers in the grass except the ones in the picture. It was like they grew specifically to form the shape of a heart for me. ❤ Can you see it?

Later I went to the social run. The woman I invited couldn’t join me because of a work issues, so I went alone. As I drove the heaven’s opened up in a torrential downpour and I thought for sure I would be running in the rain. But as I approached my destination a magnificent rainbow spread across the sky. I could see it in it’s entirety. I couldn’t take a picture while driving or I would have.

When I got to the run the rain stopped and the skies cleared. As the group started running I saw the rainbow was still present, though fading. At the end of the run it was still there but brighter. It felt like a good omen to me that the rainbow followed me to the run and was there to greet me even at the end.

rainbow 10.1.18

I ended up staying at the store for a foam rolling seminar and headed home later than expected. My youngest had been very upset by my absence, so I came home and gave him lots of hugs. ❤ He is so good at giving hugs!

This morning I awoke with the song above on my mind – Specifically, “Happy, happy, happy, happy…..” lol

Dream – Diamond in the Rough

I had a dream that seems significant, though I cannot pinpoint how just yet.

In the dream I was attending a wedding where the guests stayed overnight after the reception. My husband and I were looking for a bed (seeking domestic security and happiness) and wandered around trying to find one that was somewhat private. I saw beds of all shapes and sizes in all kinds of locations. Some were draped with curtains for privacy, others had velvet pillows and luxurious covers, some were out in the open and some were even outdoors. We had not reserved a room (bed) so we were just looking for one no one was in. I remember my husband being very flirtatious and me reciprocating, which is unusual in my dreams.

We found a couple of beds we liked. He got in one and I got in the other, both of us trying to convince the other they had the better bed (different ideas about how to reach goal of domestic happiness). Eventually all the other guests started arriving and we had to move out of the way and let them go to their reserved beds. One woman stopped me and started chatting. She was older and wearing eccentric clothing. She was carrying with her a bunch of buttered toast and cookies she had stolen from the buffet. She left the toast (simple things in life) on a table and took the cookies (indulgences). I remember picking up the squished toast and thinking it gross (rejecting simplicity).

At one point I went outside and it turned into my mom’s back porch (my social self or facade). There, sitting on small table, was a birdhouse (my personal house and home). The top was opened up (guidance from higher source is being received) and I could see a nest (opportunity, family potential) inside. I peered closely at it thinking it should be closed so that the birds would feel safe. As I was thinking this a very large dragonfly (something is not as it seems) flew so close I could hear its wings beating. Fascinated. I grabbed my phone to take a picture. As I focused in on the dragonfly a stream of misty water (clarity, cleansing, renewal) got in the way from a fountain I had not seen. The dragonfly’s wings sparkled in the mist and it took off. I looked back at the birdhouse and the dream seemed to freeze frame. I knew I needed to pay attention. The roof was open, split down the middle to form two perfectly identical sides. In the middle was a perfect little nest. I can still see it in my mind.

Back inside I saw the bride sitting over hundreds of very tiny boxes. She was folding up notes and inserting them. I asked what they were and she said, “Thank you cards.”

Later on in the dream the bride had given birth (potential) but lost track of her baby. Someone said to her, “Don’t you know you need to take care of your baby?”

There was an entire sequence here about a twin that is mostly lost to me now. All I recall is waking up talking with a guide about various topics to include looking to my own life for what I want. Something like, “My resistance is causing a persistence that will vanish upon acceptance”. “Diamond in the rough” also comes to mind. I specifically remember being asked to think of how my husband made me feel in the dream. The scene where we were looking for a bed came to mind. I felt an attraction to my husband but rejected those feelings. I was asked to consider why.

I was reminded of the song above and the line, “room without a roof.” I believe it relates to the birdhouse without a roof.

7 things you never knew about dragonflies | MNN - Mother ...

Observations and Considerations

Recent experience has shown me that even the most “spiritually advanced” individuals are still human. Human nature – Ego, belief systems and conditioning – still comes through in their preferences and personality. It is unavoidable. Unconditional love exists, but in human form it is rare because survival dictates preference (choice/selection) and preference results in conditions being placed on circumstances and people. In my experiences thus far, I can only find lack of condition present in a parent’s love for their children. I sense my ability to expand this to other relationships but I am finding others unable to reciprocate because of their very human conditioning. For me, the removal of conditions from a relationship feels like freedom. To others it feels like a threat, it lends to lack and lack is not pro-survival.

For example, a man may place the condition of monogamy on his partner because it ensures his mate will not stray from him. This is common in men because women are selective and have the upper hand in mate selection.

Anyway, it is obvious to me (again) that humanity has a very long way to go. I have Remembered how it can be but I cannot force that reality on anyone who is not yet ready to embrace it. I feel much like I was born into the wrong time and place but I cannot let that feeling overwhelm me or lead me into a depressed, apathetic state. It is what it is. I can accept it or reject it. I choose acceptance even though it is difficult.