Repressed Issues Resurface for Resolution

Another dream to recount, this time a lucid to almost OBE. đŸ™‚

The dream took place in two bedrooms and a bathroom attached to a college/university. The bedrooms and bathroom seemed to be living quarters or a house. Symbolically, I find this significant as houses/bedrooms represent the Self and the private self respectively. Therefore, the dream indicates the classroom or lesson is taking place within the Self and private self. đŸ™‚

For most of the dream I was struggling to stay awake. I felt extremely sleepy and kept stopping to snooze in various places. I also recall putting something over my eyes, like a sleep mask or my hand, almost as if I was shielding myself from the light. There was no light, however, as the entire dream took place in low light.

Anyway, within the bedroom I was laying on a large, white bed and struggling to wake up. I knew it was time for my “class” and I needed to prepare or I would be late again. Someone was with me, a male colleague/partner, encouraging me to wake up and being very supportive. What is strange is that the bedroom was within an office that was also a classroom. It felt like my space as well as the space of my male colleague – as if we shared this bedroom/office/classroom.

There is much lost conversation here as I kept losing and gaining lucidity. The tired feeling is most prominent. I felt really heavy with sleep and though I felt the urge to get up and get going I was unable to follow through for very long.

What I recall next is the discussion about my next class – 2nd period (9am) – and remembering it was my math class, the one from previous dreams that I am having to retake because I kept skipping class. I knew I couldn’t miss another class yet kept telling myself I could miss just one day and make it up. I remembering rationalizing with, “I can get the assignment from a classmate. I’m sure it isn’t much.” In my mind I saw the assignment as one page of problems but my memory of them is odd. They didn’t look like math problems but instead like code of some sort. What I remember most is what reminds me of a letter “Q” but it wasn’t from our alphabet.

The thought of missing my math class motivated me enough to get me moving. I went outside into the hallway to head to my math class. My lucidity was strong enough that I recognized I was dreaming and immediately took flight up and over the heads of all the people in the hall. Down below me I could see children of various ages intermixed with adults. Some looked up at me in awe while others were oblivious to me. It was a thrill to know I could be seen and I communicated with those who could see me. One little boy was staring and an adult woman looked but then pretended I wasn’t there. I said to her, “I know you can see me!” LOL My thoughts at the time were that these individuals were like me and could “see” what others could not.

Somehow I ended up back in a bedroom/office/classroom but not the one I started out in. There was an entire backstory but I can’t remember it now. When I went into this room I realized it wasn’t mine and backed out, noting that no one was there. I commented to my male colleague who was still with me that the teacher who occupied it was not like me. His students were allowed to mess up the room and leave it that way. I said I would not allow my students to do that. I remember staring at a student chair (the chairs were in rows like an auditorium setting) that had the stuffing picked out of it thinking I would never allow that. The feeling here was that where others saw disorder and chaos this “teacher” saw great potential and creativity.

I was directed to a tiny camera located in a black satchel on the floor. A video camera (reflection on past) was poking out. It was mentioned that the female agent it belonged to had defected but the camera was left on. The video footage could be of anything.

Somehow I ended up back in my bedroom/office/classroom and the video was discussed. The occupant of the other bedroom/office/classroom was on the video. For some reason I thought of him as homosexual. The video showed him having sex with my mother-in-law (unresolved issue). I reacted with disgust and it was abhorrent to me that anyone would have sexual relationship with her. lol

I opted to go to the bathroom (cleansing and renewal) at this time to finally get ready for my day. While inside I heard keys jingling and worried someone was about to come in but it was a man going into one of the bedroom/office/classrooms. Relieved, I stayed in the bathroom and attempted to put on my contacts (new vision) and wash (cleanse) my face (perception of self) but once again I got really tired to the point of falling asleep.

Again I found myself inside my bedroom/office/classroom. My colleague was with me and I was having a discussion with him while putting my hair up in a ponytail (casual and carefree attitude). My hair was thick making it difficult to get it put up. When I finally succeeded I had somehow woven a large braid (determination) into my hair.

A man entered the bedroom/office/classroom at this time and my colleague departed. The man was the man from the other bedroom/office/classroom, the one who I thought of as homosexual (union of aspects of self). He came up behind me and began to touch me, wrapping his arms around me and fondling my breasts. His intentions were clear. My reaction was neutral, though, with a hint of playful curiosity. There is memory that my colleague/partner and I had discussed allowing such play and so I did not feel any guilt whatsoever. I allowed the man to touch me but ignored him otherwise, continuing to get ready. My memory of the man is shifty but I recall seeing him as very effeminate. His skin was soft like mine and his demeanor very flowing and graceful.

Considerations

When I woke from this dream I felt extremely groggy, like I had been drugged. I knew, though, that I had been OOB and also knew the dream was an attempt to get me to “see” something I am, for some reason, resistant to.

It is obvious to me that the two bedrooms are two different individuals. One is me and the other is “homosexual”. Homosexuality symbolizes union with aspects of self, typically of the masculine and feminine. So this individual is Whole and balanced. The bathroom is, of course, cleansing and renewal, and is located between the two bedroom/office/classrooms. The combination of bedroom with office and classroom suggests there exists within me (bedroom) great potential (office) for learning (classroom).

Based upon some recent, personal life events I suspect that I am being asked to confront lingering sexual beliefs and issues. Since the “event” in February I seem to have “plunged” into (as if diving head first into water) Ego-related tendencies and beliefs that need resolution. These are being brought to my attention in various ways. I have suddenly shifted from being comfortable with sex/passion to rejecting it to the point of numbness. This is a repeat of a previous time in my life and, thus, is reviving related issues. In the past, my body just did not respond to sex in a normal way and now this is recurring. It is like an internal connection had been cut. Sex is viewed as intrusive and degrading, the male gender as possessive and hungry. The tendency is avoidance and abstinence which it is not leading to resolution.

zeal

Additionally, two of the “new” chakras that I am now aware of are becoming more and more obvious. The “well of dreams” or “zeal point” chakra at the base of my neck has been painfully obvious since last Saturday. Mostly I hurt right at the base of my skull and there is no physical reason for it. The other chakra, located at the small of my back along my spine is also very active, but thankfully not in a painful way. It just feels like a ball of swirling, warm energy. When the warm energy is present the chakra at the base of my neck becomes warm as well, as if the two are communicating with each other, and the pain is relieved.

There is also a point just below my crown at the back of my head that is buzzing with energy. In fact, it is doing so right now. At times my entire head feels alive with energy that shifts from one area to another as if syncing. Back of head, side of head, third-eye, and then back again.

The pain I am feeling in the zeal chakra is likely a result of clearing of the lingering sexual issues and beliefs that need resolution. These issues do not feel to be mine anymore as I feel a disconnect from them for the most part. However, the more I delve into them, the more I begin to “own” them.

There is no fear of this clearing process and my dreams suggest I am seeking more awareness of these lingering issues in order to resolve them. I just wish the pain at the base of my skull would cease. It is unpleasant but bearable. I have never had pain in this area until this year. Thankfully, it is not restrictive nor does it give me a headache or any other issues.