It’s been unusually cold here in Texas for several days in a row now. The high yesterday was 30 degrees but I don’t think it ever got that warm. The lows have been in teens and twenties. We had snow on New Year’s eve, but only a trace amount. Just enough to make the rooftops white the next morning. It will be below freezing in the evenings until this Friday. I want it to be Spring so bad. I hate cold weather.
This morning my husband calls out to me saying, “Hey Dayna. Do you think this is some kind of sign?” I said, “Maybe? What is it?” He brings to me a completely frozen dove saying, “It froze to death perched on a branch.”
When I looked at it, it looked like it was taking a nap. You can see in the image above that it looks almost peaceful. I told my husband, “Yeah, it’s a sign.” I didn’t tell him what sign, though. It seems like an omen of endings. I have gotten it myself before.
My daughter went into grief over it, crying and saying, “You poor thing. You didn’t do anything to deserve this!” She then had tons of questions about why he died. I explained that he was not able to huddle with others doves and so, being alone, he froze to death. I also said he was likely sick or weak to begin with. She wanted to bring him inside and let him thaw out, as if it would bring him back to life. She’s so sweet.
I’ve been going stir crazy. I hate the cold so I avoid going outside. It’s created a cabin fever feeling in all of us except my husband who has been happily working on a tree house outside (he’s nuts). Yesterday, sick of being stuck inside, I ventured out on a run. It was so cold my eyelashes stuck together when I blinked. The run wasn’t too miserable but I would rather it be too hot than not feel parts of my body. lol
As I mentioned in my last post, I will be keeping track of my dreams for the first 12 days of this year. January 1st brought OBEs. January 2nd brought vivid dreams.
This dream began in the parking lot of a school. My intention for visiting was to check on some job vacancies I had heard were there. The positions were temporary, part-time teacher/assistant ones. The entire dream I carried with me a neatly folded full-size quilt/blanket (warmth, love, security, protection).
Inside the place resembled a mixture of various schools I have worked at in this lifetime. I walked down a long hall and encountered several past acquaintances. One was my ex-principal and another a male history teacher I once knew. Each time the encounters were pleasant, as if I was reuniting with them on the Other Side. Neither of us held any grudges or negative feelings despite having history with each other that was not all positive.
I went into a classroom and walked between desks of students. The class was the classroom of a familiar ex-coworker. We jabbered and I looked curiously at the desk of a female student in front of me. She had a small dish with two broken eggs (breaking out of one’s shell) in it. Assuming it was trash, I picked it up and disposed of it.
I walked over to talk to the teacher. She greeted me and asked me questions about my life, catching up on all that she had missed in the 4 or so years since we had seen each other. Another male teacher, the history one I had already spoken to, dropped in and joined us. The both mentioned that two science teachers had resigned. The name of my high school science teacher was mentioned as one of them. The history teacher asked me why I was there and I told him I was looking into working again. He seemed to try and dissuade me by saying the two positions were already filled. Then he asked if I thought of returning to school. I said I already had a Master’s degree and didn’t see the point. I then said that I was only looking for temporary work, like three months max, because I didn’t feel full-time work suited me anymore. He nodded in agreement and understanding. Throughout the conversation I was completely relaxed and accepting of whatever came to pass. If I didn’t get work, I was okay. If I did, I was okay, too. There was a sense that I didn’t need to work right now but that I could if I wanted to.
Then the student whose desk I had cleaned off interrupted. She said she was not finished with the eggs I tossed. I apologized after I saw every student had two broken eggs in a dish on their desk. I said, “Oh, I’m sorry! You are all conducting an experiment, aren’t you?” I picked the broken eggs out of the trash and returned them to her.
I spoke with the teacher of the class again. For some reason there was a completely naked baby boy (innocent/vulnerable/masculine aspect of self) laying near her desk. When I saw him I thought he was cute and so made some cooing noises. This upset him and he began to cry (part of self that is deprived and needs attention). The teacher consoled him and told me that he was particular about people. She told me I should not have growled at him. I said I didn’t and repeated to her the noise I made but it did sound like a growl. When I looked at the baby it had morphed into a toddler sized girl (feminine aspect of self) and said something to me I can’t recall now.
The teacher asked me about my sister (aspect of self) and I told her she had joined the Air Force back in mid-October, 2017. The teacher asked what she was trained in and I said, “Mostly militia tactics.” Somehow, though, the conversation seemed to shift to indicate that both myself and the teacher were trained for the militia and were on stand-by until needed. It felt like in the meantime we were to busy ourselves with other things until we were “called to duty”.
As I was leaving I realized I did not have my blanket with me. I searched for it and found it laying on the floor between two student desks. I was very pleasant to the students as I left, saying goodbye, smiling and mentioning I enjoyed my visit and would like to return for another.
When I woke I was in a pleasant mood despite how odd the dream was. It seemed like I had been interacting with people from my past, doing some kind of life review with them and catching up. The part about me looking for work was likely a discussion of my considerations right now in waking life. I have been again feeling a need to work but not feeling it is right, feeling unmotivated and disinterested.
The part that really stood out to me and that was on my mind when I awoke was the part about being trained military but in standby mode, awaiting a call to duty. It felt like me and the others in my dream had been trained in the same “tactics” and were currently on standby. We could do whatever we liked while on standby. There was not set agenda while we waited. It was like we were on leave (vacation) for an indeterminate amount of time.
The blanket symbol is significant. Usually I am wrapped up in a blanket indicating a fear of the unknown. But in this dream I was carrying it, neatly folded, at my side and at one point had to look for it because I left it behind. This indicates that I am not feeling a need for security or protection from the unknown. I am breaking out of my shell (the egg symbolism comes in here).
Last night, as with other recent nights, my attention keeps being shifted to a guide/Spirit/Being to my left. The sense of him is distant, as if he is purposefully standing just outside my energy field. I assume he does this so that I am not startled by the enormity of his energy. I will explain why I think this is a bit later.
The way he grabs my attention is interesting. Usually I am thinking or doing something that keeps my conscious mind occupied like watching T.V. or making dinner. Then, quite oddly, I will have a thought, usually in the form of a memory, that does not fit with what I am doing/experience in the physical present moment.
Last night I was watching Netflix and had let my left arm and hand hang over the side of the bed. I don’t normally do this and am not sure why I did this in that moment but I suddenly became acutely aware that my hand was there and outstretched as if to hold another’s hand. With this awareness I saw, like a movie in my mind, another hand reaching toward mine but the hand had three very long fingers with overly large fingertips on it. The hand was a bluish green color and familiar.
Along with this vision I had memory of an OBE I had a while ago. In it I was taken aboard a ship and saw a Being that was very unusual in appearance. Others told me he was a certain race of E.T. based upon my description of him but my mind is blank on the name of that race at the moment (very odd!). Mostly I recall his color which was a bluish green, his overly large head and long, frog-like fingers but I also recall the symbols on the ship and the stars of space through the porthole of the craft we were in.
I withdrew my hand and ignored the visions and memories feeling that I was crazy to consider any of it as my reality and returned to watching my show.
Not long after, fully immersed in my show, another memory presented itself. This time it was the memory of when I first received the name Elohim. I had never heard the word before, had no idea what it meant and since the name came with such an intense shot to the heart, it scared the crap out of me.
Well, you can imagine my reaction to this memory. Part of me was unconcerned and accepting. The other was saying, “Oh no. I’m not falling for this again. I am making this all up. It’s some kind of dream-schizophrenic episode and I will NOT be fooled into thinking any of it is real. Not again. Nope.”
It didn’t help that I was hit with a strange, surreal feeling, like this reality is just a dream construct and the memory I was having was the real deal. The disconnected feeling was super strong and it caused me to withdraw immediately from the Spirit/Being that was visiting.
He said to me, “We are One” and other things like, “You will see me again soon”, “Contact”, and “You are not listening.” I tried not to hear/listen but it was impossible. The messages and connection felt just like it did when I was visited before.
I almost didn’t write about this but felt I should because who knows where it might lead. Maybe I am experiencing some kind a dream-schizophrenic episode? Maybe I am mentally split to the point that I am bordering on a complete break with reality? I tried to rationalize it away with it all being a mental illness, but honestly I can’t do that completely. Either it is a real, spiritual experience or it is some kind of mass-hysteria-dream-psychosis that needs to go in the DSM-V as a new mental illness! Whatever it is, it is MY experience and I don’t know what the &*%@ to do about it!!!!
When I first had this “contact” experience with Elohim it led to all kinds of crAzY shit – Kundalini, heart connections, strange OBEs on board spacecraft and meetings with E.T.s/Beings. Most of it was good, exciting, wonderful, but then there was the big, life-altering stuff that ultimately led to horrendous pain and suffering on my part. To allow myself to believe/listen/accept this return of “contact” was to allow the potential of a repeat of all that I just mentioned. Not sure I am up to that again, especially the painful parts.
Ultimately, I recognized that I am where I am in life – not working, stay at home mom, isolated/hermit-like – for a reason. STILL. It is obvious that whatever I am going through necessitates these things because if I were to work or interact with others beyond my family and close friends/acquaintances, I may be exposed to that which I am not yet ready for. I assume heart-connections but it could be various other things and it could also be that others are not ready for me. Whatever the reasons it makes sense and so be it.