Hope you are riding the energy of this full moon and not being drowned by it. I know that sounds a bit dramatic but then I’m a Leo and can tend towards the dramatic at times. 🙂 I believe Mercury also went retrograde recently adding to the mix, not that Mercury retro really is an issue for me. I rarely notice when it goes retro.
However, perhaps Mercury played a part in the wonderful fun I had yesterday morning. There was a text from my bank first thing in the morning about a charge on my debit card. Turns out, someone hacked my card and was using it to buy all kinds of things online. I spent my whole morning sorting it out on my own because my bank could do nothing until the charges went through. As long as they were pending I had to wait or contact the retailers myself. So…..I contacted the retailers and fixed it myself. The last place – DSW – was so grateful I felt like I had done my good deed for the day. Plus, I got the satisfaction of knowing whoever was trying to get a free ride off me FAILED. I hope DSW reports their address and they are caught but I doubt they are that stupid…..but maybe Mercury will work against them? I can only hope. hehe
Then this morning when I woke up my husband was in the mood to fight. It seemed he wanted to blame me for everything he saw wrong in our family and just be flat out negative and judgmental. I called him out on it because I was not going to have my morning ruined. Then he wanted to talk it out calmly but everything that came out of his mouth was the same stuff that I’ve heard countless times so I called him on that, too. I was not in the mood to talk and just listening to him hurt my brain. Sometimes I think being married to an air sign is painful, especially when they keep talking forever and I just woke up and want to be left alone in silence to drink my coffee.
Perhaps this full moon and maybe a dash of Mercury retro are also making me a bit inconsiderate of other’s needs, especially when I feel my own needs are being ignored? lol I just don’t want to deal with anyone else’s shit right now. I don’t have the time or patience for whining, ranting, raving, or complaining especially when it is something I’ve heard time and time again and the person doing it is using it to avoid taking responsibility. I call Bull Shit and do so in a very direct way. Thankfully my husband is the only one I have to deal with. He can handle it. Others, well not so much usually. This is a good time for me to hide out at home I think. lolol
Good news – all my ailments previously mentioned are resolving. 🙂 The acne mess is still slowly healing but is not getting worse. My skin looks good except for the spots that are healing but they are going away. I can’t say what the main cause is – antibiotics, birth control, algae mask, using new cleanser – but I am grateful. Considering my mood (as mentioned above) it is good that I usually hide away from the world when I have acne.
No more incidences of panic or anxiety. No tooth problems, either. My cold is still lingering but is bearable. I mostly just have way too much snot (sorry if TMI) but at least I can breathe and my throat doesn’t hurt.
The BC does not seem to be causing me any issue. No migraines or hints of getting a migraine either. I have noticed that the skin on the inside of both of my legs near the ankles feels tight in the morning and I had a strange shooting pain in my left calf that went away quickly yesterday. These alarmed me because my doctor warned me that at my age BC can cause all kinds of fun side-effects, one being blood clots another increase risk for stroke. So far, though, there is no indication that a blood clot is forming but the strange sensitivity around my ankles is concerning. It reminds me of how my legs felt after I had vein surgery.
I have resumed exercise and today am paying for it. My lower body is stiff as hell. That’s what weight training will do, though. I will be slowly integrating running and weight training back into my routine but am not overly eager to do so. I still have the feeling I need to take it easy on my body so am going to follow that feeling. Thus, no running or weights today but I might do step aerobics to get my blood pumping a bit. 🙂
My husband’s raise turned out to be $800/month, exactly what I thought it would be when he told me. He still gets bonuses on top of that making it pretty obvious to me that the only reason for me to go back to work is because I want to. For most of my life I have told others (and my guides) that I don’t want to have to work. I am grateful to have gotten what I asked for. In fact, this morning I woke up thinking, “I am so happy that I don’t have to rush around in the mornings to get out the door by a certain time, drive in traffic and go to a job for 8+ hours only to come home and do all the “mom” things I have to do.” I can wear my p.j.’s all day, not worry about how I look or how much acne I have to cover up with makeup (lol), do whatever the hell I want, and not have to deal with people I don’t want to deal with. It really is THE LIFE. I am eating it up today, can’t you tell? Like my guides have been telling me, “Enjoy this time in your life.” Yes, siree, boss. 🙂
Again, perhaps it is the full moon or some other astrological event influencing me, but currently I seem to be fully realizing some of my past lessons. They are not easy to put into words but I am feeling so much better than I was just last week. It is not just physically, either. I feel more accepting of my life and circumstances when before I was so resistant, lingering in the past and wallowing in “what if’s”. Clarity has visited concerning some past experiences and it is helping me to cope and move forward.
This morning I recognized one turning point occurred all the way back in June this year. At the time I had too much emotional interference to see it but now it is obvious. It all came down to standing firm in my convictions, which I did, but it also involved fear, which clouded my (and another’s) view of the big picture. The fear was not just mine and there is a whole story here I would love to tell but I will leave it at that. The moral to the story is that real love does not ask another to do something that goes against what they feel is right. Nor does one place conditions upon another based upon some unknown future possibility riddled with fear of a past injustice repeating itself. Any relationship developed under such circumstances is doomed to failure. However, all of the above does not diminish the love and friendship between two people, it is but a path chosen and a lesson to be learned. Ultimately, that love and friendship is fortified by the choice of each to stay true to their path (heart), undeterred by the inevitable abundance of emotion and confusion that served only to blind their human minds.
I would not have recognized all of the above had my husband not infuriated me this morning with his non-stop nattering. I told him that I long ago learned that lingering on could’ve/should’ve got me nowhere. It solved nothing and kept me pinned in place rather than allowing me to move forward. I said to him, “All we can do is take what we have learned and apply it to where we are now. From here (present) we can make a difference in the future, from there (the past) we are lost to it (the future).”
My guidance via the wonderful reminders, allowing me to taste Divine love and friendship via my dreams, has given me hope that all is not lost. I am so blessed to have experienced true unconditional love and friendship both in my waking life and during my dream encounters. I am indeed special in this regard and feel special every time I experience it. It has shown me just how unimportant and frivolous most of my considerations in this human experience are. Every day I let go of something else, some other human consideration, belief or expectation, because I can see more of the big picture. All this drama, all the pain and misery of life, everything that worries me or causes me to feel distress, sadness, grief, anger….a lack of Love…..is of no consequence. Eventually I will have let go of it all and all that will remain is that feeling, the blessed bliss of Divine love, and it will be everywhere and in everything, and I will Know that it is so.