Since my last post I have had trouble sleeping. Maybe it’s the energies of the full moon or some other influence but I can’t fall asleep. Normally I go to bed around 9pm because the kids wake at 6:30am for school and inevitably so do I. However, for three nights straight I don’t fall asleep until midnight or 1am. That means for three nights straight I’ve only gotten 4-5 hours of sleep when normally I get 8-9.
When I sleep I have strange dreams all centered on the same dream theme of me being given a new job. After each dream I wake suddenly as if in surprise at around 5:45am, well before I have to wake up. Then I can’t return to sleep. 😦
Dream: Job Assignment
In this dream I was told I was to be assigned to this well-to-do man who could get me into a position as an administrative assistant or similar. I was not keen on this type of work but went accepted it anyway. The woman talking to me gave me the impression of a man who had several prostitutes working for him. It put me off but then when I met the other woman I felt at ease.
The main thing I recall is fixing my hair (evaluating a new way of thinking, new perspective). When I brushed it the color changed from a dull, medium blonde (dish water blonde) to a vibrant, flaxen blonde (vibrancy) that curled on the end. It looked like Barbie hair. I put it up in a side pony tail.
Then I met the man who was to get me the job. I can’t remember what he looked like now but in the dream it seemed like he was making war with others. He was also throwing large pallets full of money (success, prosperity). Very odd imagery!
Dream: Four Friends
In this job I was watching a detective trying to question people about a theft. I remember not knowing where I was and being a bit confused. Eventually I was with him and three others sitting outside at a picnic table. One man was a police officer (structure, rules) dressed in uniform. Another was a pregnant (experiencing connection) woman. I suddenly recognized the feeling I had and said to the group, “Can you feel it? We are all connected.” One woman gave me a frantic look and I said, “No, not like that. We don’t have to be romantic but it is obvious we were brought together for a reason.” I felt confident that I was right.
I then went to a truck (hard work) that was parked on the side of the road. Across the road was a strange mesa and I mentioned to the man I was with that I missed the mountains (knowledge, spiritual truth). I told him about them and as I spoke I could see them in the distance. I remember calling them “Blue” and mentioning Montana.
Eventually I was in the truck. An old friend of mine was driving me north and she was irritated to be there with me. Long ago she cut ties with me so I understood her upset. She took me on a road that had heavy construction (rebuilding life, surge of confidence) and then to a house where I was to be given my next job.
Inside the house I waited in a small bedroom. Curious, I looked through the drawers and saw several pill bottles (healing), sexual lubricant and a tube of estrogen cream (sexuality, the feminine). I knew somehow the woman was pregnant and had to use the cream but I was grossed out.
Dream: Movement Manager
This was last night’s dream. I was with my sister and recall eating pizza (choice) stuffed with veggies. Then a woman arrived and announced we had both been given jobs because of our background as teachers. The woman was very excited and assured us we would not be disappointed. My sister was all for it but I was suspicious. Why would someone just give me a job?
She took us inside the place we would be working. It had the highest ceilings (spiritual perspective) I had ever seen and I mentioned it was high enough for a second floor. There were three desks in the center of the room and around it were other cubicles and workstations. It was obvious the ones in the center were the higher positions. Turns out the desks were ours and we were to be supervising everyone in the building. I also discovered we were to be working for Mazda but we weren’t selling cars we were managing the people who owned cars (life paths). Our main job was the answer the phones (communication). I remember thinking that would be a very boring job but then reconsidering because it would be “good money”.
Then we were being introduced to the others I felt very uncomfortable because I had no experience with management. My sister fit right in but I lingered in the back unsure of what was going on. The lady in charge began to call out names to announce us to the company. Mine was called but I did not go up front. My sister did and tried to get me to go but I wouldn’t. Turns out they replaced me thinking I was a no-show but the lady in charge found me and told me she got me back my position. I was told I would be making $29,000/year (adds up to 11 again). I remember telling her, “That is not as much as I thought. My family can’t move to Dallas on that kind of salary.”
I woke suddenly then and wondered about the dream. I heard, “Movement Manager” out of the blue. For some reason I was not happy at all when I woke up.
In the last few days I have noticed some shifting in the energy and in myself. I’ve been feeling slightly anxious in the evenings. Nothing major but mostly I can’t get my mind to shut up. There is something I sense that I can’t quite put my finger on and it is unnerving.
Then I’ve also noticed that while I am going about my day and not particularly thinking of anything that there are conversations going on in the background of my mind. Yesterday this was happening a lot and I would catch myself mentally telling someone something that made no sense to this reality. Strange phrases and such that were out of place. I can’t recall them now but I briefly wondered if perhaps I was getting a glimpse of another reality/dimension – like I was dialed in. It annoyed me, though, because it made my normally quiet mind seem like a radio station.
Yesterday I was visited by a butterfly in the park. I took some photos and then afterward it landed on my left shoulder and stayed there for some time. Even after that it flew back toward me almost like it was drawn to me.
This afternoon we are going to drive down south to take a look at five puppies and select the one who is to be the new addition to our family. It is a 2 hour drive, though, but hopefully it will be well worth it. The puppy will not be cheap – $500 – but I am prepared to pay for a breed I know will be good for my family. Since we are getting a miniature Australian Shepherd the cost is higher – they are in demand. Standards are about half the price. I believe I paid $225 for my Trooper way back in 2000.
You may wonder why we don’t just get a dog from the pound. Mostly it is because I want an Aussie. If we get a pound puppy (lol) then we don’t know what we will get. We roll the dice. I know the temperament of an Aussie and really don’t want to end up with a dog that will be hard to manage or have issues. My BIL just had such an experience with a puppy he got from the pound. Not saying that dogs in the pound are bad but I just don’t want to take a chance.
One of the things that is on my mind at night and causing anxiety is the new puppy. I keep having anxious thoughts – what if it gets sick and dies? What if we can’t afford the puppy? What if he runs away? …. What if’s like that. I also had a resurgence of grieving for Trooper. I feel like such a sap and am really hard on myself for my perceived “weakness”. It seems wrong for me to grieve so much for an animal when in comparison I hardly grieved at all when I lost my grandparents and father.
Anyway, we will see what happens. We may get there and I may dislike the sellers and the feeling there. Who knows. Here are the puppies we can choose from: