Today the repairman is returning to finish the repairs on my broken refrigerator. He needs to replace the heater and thermostat so it doesn’t freeze up again. When he left last Friday he asked me to unplugged the fridge 8 hours before his arrival today at 9am. That meant either turning it off before bed or waking in the night to do it. I opted to wake during the night. Prior to bed I asked for more clarification as to what is going on with me. Still feel unsure of this “process” I am going through.
I meant to wake at midnight using my internal clock but ended up waking at 2:30am instead. After unplugging the fridge I was wide awake and it took me some time to settle down. I should have known I would end up going OOB, but I didn’t ask to do so.
OBE: Visit From MIL
I vaguely recall rising up from my body in bed and traveling downstairs to the kitchen. I was not fully lucid when I did so and believed I was awake repeating the steps I’d taken earlier in the night. When I got to the kitchen I saw that someone had been there and plugged the refrigerator back in. This upset me and I tried to figure out what had happened. I noticed some things laying here and there (bags and such) indicating that my mother-in-law had paid us a visit after we all went to bed. This isn’t uncommon for her so made sense. She often leaves us loaves of bread and other groceries for the kids and will clean up the kitchen if she has the energy.
I turned toward the living room still upset over the fridge but I never unplugged it. Instead I noticed there was an opening in the living area where normally the fireplace would be. Another entire room extended for many feet and the floors of both were carpeted. Instantly I knew something wasn’t right and said to myself, “This is a dream”.
Nothing about the feel of my energy body or the dream really changed after this realization. I already had my full perceptions but had just not been focused on them. My vision was the one I was most focused on at the time anyway. It brightened slightly and I decided to explore this new section of my house.
I floated into the new space and noticed someone sitting in a chair facing away from me. I recognized my MIL and went up to her. Facing her confirmed it was her and I remember speaking to her but she just stared at me zombie-like. I remember saying, “Wake up! You’re asleep!” She didn’t respond, just stared into the distance as if preoccupied with something else. My last thought before returning to my body was that she looked so similar to what she looked like in waking life.
When I came back into my body it was ablaze with a comforting energy. I was surprised I had gone OOB and amused that my preoccupation with the coming appointment and refrigerator had been the focus of the OBE. All I wanted was to get some much needed sleep so I turned to my side and drifted off.
Again, not fully lucid, I walked into a gym (apply what has been learned) that was familiar. Inside things had been moved and the equipment that was there before was mostly gone. I noticed people standing on circles (cycles, repetition) painted on the floor. They were spaced as if in some kind of grid and all facing in the same direction. Not letting this bother me, I went toward the dumbbell rack but did not use any of them. Instead I was holding onto what resembled black, weighted handcuffs (feeling held back, trapped). I was talking to someone doing exercises with them but can’t recall what I was saying.
A man approached me and asked me when I would be done. I remember being irritated at him but finishing quickly. When I got up I sat in a chair and got out a computer (information). On it I could see the entire layout of the building. Circles represented each person and they moved like chess pieces (loss of control).
A man sitting next to me spoke to me about the ceremony that was going on. One of the owners of the gym was retiring (transitioning, endings) and they were setting up for a celebration. I saw the owner as he walked in. He was graying and had a pleasant face and energy. Someone asked me to put away my computer, so I did, opting to get out my phone which was the size of a tablet. The man had mentioned a word that sounded like Jockey – NOKEY – so I did a Google search for it. The results showed information about baseball (contentedness and peace of mind) and I saw a large 15% that took up my entire tablet.
A woman rudely interrupted me telling me I had some nerve still using my cell phone when the celebration was about to begin. She demanded I leave, saying I had broken the rules and was no longer allowed inside. I stood up and told her it was fine and that I wasn’t a member anyway and had just come in to check it out but found it changed and unusable. I was just as rude to her as she was to me.
She followed me outside. Her demeanor changed when we were alone and she turned more friendly, apologizing for the changes and asking me for suggestions to improve it. She asked me what gym I frequented that I liked. I thought about it and said, “Lifetime Fitness” (which is a gym in real life but one I’ve never been to). Something about saying this brought me into full lucidity and the word “lifetime” echoed in my mind.
I turned and walked away. When I looked to where I was heading I saw beautiful green hills and a vast, sparkling lake. There were people here and there seemingly floating across the fields and water. The sky was brilliant with a rising sun whose rays were illuminating everyone with a silvery sheen. The whole scene sparkled like a million jewels.
I noticed a man was with me at this time. It was like the woman had morphed into a man. He remained with me and spoke with me for the remainder of the experience.
I stopped, filled with awe and said, “It is SO beautiful!” My heart began to overflow and I burst into tears. The scene changed and I could tell I was shifting away from it. In front of my eyes gray clouds floated in and covered the brilliant landscape. Tears poured out of my eyes, my body shuddered with intense vibrations and my heart stung.
In the in-between I lingered for some time. I could sense the presence of someone to my right. The vibrations were still strong and hypnagogic images of millions of tiny, yellow circles flooded my vision, pulsating and breathing in unison. I was still crying, my heart inundated with energy and my entire body pulsing and vibrating. My tears were a mixture of joy and grief. I understood the messages from the OBE and the male presence acknowledged this.
He said to me, “I’ve loved you for a long time.” It reminded me of the song that had been sung to me only a few nights prior: “Don’t you know I’m in love with you. I will be with you for a long time”.
I asked him who he was and the name “Chris” came to mind. Not recognizing the name I just allowed the comforting vibrations to wash over me. He spoke to me at some length about my sadness and exhaustion, telling me, “We will help you” and “It will be okay”. Throughout his messages tears would erupt sporadically. He said that my grief must be experienced and not suppressed.
At one point there was a brilliant circle of light that I identified as a full moon. It got so large that it took up my entire vision and it seemed to intensify the vibrations. Eventually I realized it was not the moon at all but a giant light. I had seen it before while OOB and usually it is associated with E.T.s.
While we communicated two songs came into my mind. The first was the song, All of Me and the specific part I heard over and over was, “My head’s under water but I’m breathing fine. You’re crazy and I’m out of mind. ‘Cause all of me loves all of you……’Cause I give you all of me and you give me all of you.”
The other song was Hold My Hand. “I’m ready for this” repeating over and over.
It didn’t take long for me to understand the second OBE. The messages were obvious. The scene at the gym is me being tired of repetitive cycles, feeling trapped by them and looking for a way to end them. The NOKEY word is actually – No Key – no admittance, no entry, no access. I can’t go where I wish to go. The 15% is still a mystery. I suspect it may indicate my “battery” level, how far I’ve come or where I am at currently in whatever this process is. Maybe I am 15% way through a process that will bring me peace and contentedness? The “Lifetime” reference is to this lifetime.
There was a hell of a lot of energy swirling around me after the last OBE. The entire experience left me unable to return to sleep. I have no idea who this “Chris” person is, either. He was on my right, which suggests he is not a guide. My guides are typically to my left. His messages indicate he knows me, loves me and wants to help. I did not feel any particular connection to him, though.
My considerations now after these experiences are that I refuse to read anything into any of it, no matter how profound. Even if my heart blasts open again and the bliss is all encompassing there will be no reaction or longing or hope this time because I know how destructive the after-effects are. To attach to the feeling is destructive and I don’t think I can survive another round. I pray God spares me from ever feeling it again.