I spent all day yesterday doing practically nothing. My lower abdomen ached from the yeast infection I couldn’t treat it until bedtime. By the evening I began to get more messages about “protection” and this shifted me into a mini-paranoia for a while most likely because I had been watching, Supernatural, a show about the paranormal. lol Memories of messages I had forgotten from that morning began to surface, specifically that I was advised to “pray”. So by bedtime I prayed for protection and slept with some black tourmaline.
I slept deeply and without memory of dreams up until early morning. At one point early in the night I was awakened by energetic sensations in my root and second chakras. I woke suddenly and without memory of the dream preceding the energy. It felt very much like I was receiving an energetic adjustment to those chakras. The sensation was familiar – a cylinder of energy seemed to be inserted up through the center of my body. Usually these cylinders of energy feel neutral, the energy expanding outward and filling my physical body with what I can only describe as Light. This time, however, it was quite pleasant, so much so that it made me squirm from arousal. I immediately reminded myself to not focus on it. Before the sensation fully dissipated I passed back out into a dreamless sleep.
Dream: Pre-Law Class and Course Schedule
The next thing I remember is talking to someone about my return to school to pursue an unfinished degree (expansion of knowledge). I remember saying that I had taken credits toward a degree but had put it all on hold. I was discussing all of this with my “adviser” who reminded me that he had advised me to drop two classes I was failing before the semester ended so as to not affect my GPA. The two classes were in chemistry (change to Self) and some upper level math (evaluation of life situation). I had just opted to not attend class because they were too difficult and I was not up to the challenge at that time. I recall remembering that June 24th, 1997 was my wedding anniversary with my ex-husband. To think if we had remained married we would have been celebrating our 2oth!
Then I was attending one of the classes on my schedule. It was Introduction to Pre-Law (how to achieve success in life), and I was a bit intimidated by the idea of taking a class in a subject I knew little to nothing about. I was sitting with another young woman listening to the teacher introduce the first class. Me and the woman I sat across from both had swords (decisiveness and willpower) in our hands. Hers was a fencing sword (at odds with someone in my life) and mine was a short broadsword (strength and courage) with a blade that was silver (justice) on one side and gold (determination) on the other.
The teacher was discussing paranormal psychology and the class seemed to shift away from pre-law for a while. He said that there was a particular president of the U.S. who was actually an E.T. agent sent to infiltrate the government. He gave us four presidents (quest for power and control) and asked us to guess which one was the agent. I immediately said to my friend, “It has to be Eisenhower” but the teacher revealed it was Ronald and Nancy Reagan. Then the bodies of both of them were in front of us. Nancy had a white bandage tied around her neck and Ronald had a breathing tube inserted in his mouth. The teacher pulled the breathing tube out of his mouth and said something, but I can’t remember what he said now. I was shocked in disbelief because I couldn’t imagine either of them having malicious intent.
As class was ending the teacher began to discuss a game we would all be playing as part of the pre-law curriculum. I remember seeing cards but I can’t recall the game now. I looked closely at the teacher. He was young, dynamic and new to teaching having recently received his doctoral degree. He had medium brown hair and appeared to be in his early thirties. I thought he had to be the youngest professor I had ever had. I immediately liked him.
At the end of class the teacher asked me and my friend about our swords, complimenting us on them and asking us if we knew how to use them. I told him I hoped he would be able to teach us. I remember touching my sword as if it were precious to me, gently sweeping my hand over its blade.
After class I sat down to check the rest of my schedule. I saw the other classes quite clearly. There were four total, two on Monday/Wednesday and two on Tuesday/Thursday. The one at 8am was the Intro to Pre-Law class and the others were all in the afternoon. The other classes were named Falling in Love and How to Handle Grief. lol I don’t remember the fourth but I believe it was Paranormal Psychology or some other social science class. On the back of my schedule I could make changes or initial my acceptance of the classes. I discussed adding another class to give me a full load of 15 hours. I was considering adding one of the classes I dropped previously – either a math or chemistry course. I could hear my adviser asking me if I thought I could handle such a heavy load. I argued that my courses were all social sciences which I found easy and that I could handle a more challenging class. I even remember thinking I could get a tutor if I needed. lol
There was discussion about completing my degree, too. I was not planning on completing it but just wanted to take some more classes to stay occupied. I was asked, “Why not finish? You are almost there.” With this I saw I was more than 75% complete. I also knew this degree would be a totally new one, not one I had previously obtained. It was obvious to me that I had begun this degree a long time ago and had taken a very long break to focus on family, specifically having children. 10 years had passed since I had dropped the math and chemistry classes and afterward I had given up on ever completing the degree. For some reason I was feeling very optimistic, thinking it possible now to finally finish.
When I woke up I felt very calm and at ease compared to how I felt when I went to bed. It always surprises me how much the symbolism of my dreams relates to my waking life! I learn so much about myself via my dreams and this dream is no exception.
When I woke the most obvious aspects of the dream were screaming at me. The courses on my schedule actually made me laugh but I was unsure about the pre-law class. The dream symbolism says “law” relates to success in life endeavors but my first thought was that the pre-law class has to do with understanding the judicial system better so that I can use it to my advantage in this life. The time frame mentioned at the end of the dream relates directly to when I met my current husband and opted to drop the spiritual and focus on creating a family. The fact that I want to add Chemistry to my course load and am confident I can handle it suggests I am ready to change Self, something I had previously started and then backed out of. I am also intrigued that I am more than 75% complete.
I have no idea how the presidents fit in here. The only thing that came to mind when I awoke was that Reagan was president during the Harmonic Convergence, and that he was also president when I experienced an E.T. encounter in my backyard in the summer of 1989. There was also a brief reminder from my guidance last night when I was questioning them on why I kept receiving messages about needing protection. They reminded me that right now there is an energetic dynamic present that is capable of initiating extreme transformation over a short period of time. Those who oppose this transformation are on alert and will go to extremes to prevent it. Though I was not told what these “extremes” are I got a feeling that put me on edge immediately. My dream suggests there are individuals at high positions in government that are set against the transformation of this planet and the individuals initiating it. Seeing the president and his wife dead in the dream is one of the most vivid parts of the dream. Nancy had a bandage across her throat, as if it had been slit. And then Ronald had a breathing tube still in his mouth. I am at a loss as to why this is. So weird!
Strangely upon waking I remember something from yesterday, a vision I had in the in-between. In it I was having a lei placed over my shoulders and receiving well wishes for a safe and prosperous journey. It felt like I was about to board a plane and head to a faraway location. There was also a sense of excitement and anticipation, like I was going on vacation. In researching leis I found they are presented when someone is arriving or leaving. It appears I am about to embark on a significant life journey.
A Reminder of How Far I’ve Come
Another vision came to me quite suddenly, one that was also received yesterday in the in-between. In it I was wearing a beautiful, flowing, white wedding gown. I was standing in front of mirror looking at myself and with me was a female assistant asking me if I was ready.
I find this vision interesting because it was received on the 20th anniversary of my first marriage. I am reminded of just how far I’ve come, how much I’ve changed and how much I’ve grown and learned. I am so different from that 20-year-old, naive, fear-filled little girl who rushed into marriage to avoid confronting life on her own.
The thoughts and feelings I had on my wedding day 20 years ago came to mind. I knew I would not be married long, that it was not “forever” and that the vows I was making meant nothing. I knew so much yet ignored it. I could see the pros and cons of my decision. If I married I would be miserable, lonely, depressed, and suicidal but I would also be well provided for, financially secure and wouldn’t have to work. I would get to live in new places and see parts of the world I had never seen. I would repay a long-standing debt by helping my husband. But mainly I would not be alone. Being alone was perhaps the scariest prospect of them all and was ultimately what sealed my fate. If I were in the same position now, I would never have agreed to even date my ex-husband. He was and still is not my type at all but it took 10 years with him for me to discover that.
Just thinking that 20 years has passed is amazing to me. Why did it take me so long to realize who I am? Why can’t we come into life knowing ourselves? It seems like such a waste of my youth, of my vitality. I could have traveled the world, experienced so many wonderful things, but instead I opted for a “guarantee” that my material and physical needs would be met. The sad thing is that I am STILL learning this lesson, still being asked the question: “What is more important to you – your happiness or your security?” I know now that having financial security and being “safe” and provided for does not make me happy but in fact leads me into self-destructive patterns. But can I move past the fear of not having enough so that I can embrace the real abundance that is my life? Just considering how much longer it may take me to learn this lesson makes me wish a human life was not so short. It makes me hope for another 50 years of life just so I can make as much progress as I can before I kick the bucket and have to start all over again. Starting at the beginning again just to learn who I am and pick up where I left off at the age of 40! Ha!
Now I understand. There just isn’t enough time.
Feeling very reflective today and looking at old photos. Here are a few from 20 years ago.