Sick Again and More Dreams

I am about at my wits end with the recurrence of illness this year. I’ve never been sick this often in my life and it is really getting annoying!! The cold I had last week is STILL lingering. I woke up again this morning with a headache, completely clogged up and with bloodshot, dry eyes. On top of that I have another yeast infection. WTF! My poor body must really be out of balance. I cannot help but be reminded of the last time I had a yeast infection. That time I had a sore throat, too. At least this time they are not at the same time but unfortunately my entire stomach area is aching from the yeast infection. Ugh!

On top of this recent string of illness my skin is all screwed up – dry and flaky with acne popping up and mild eczema here and there. I look awful. When I catch a glimpse of myself I think, “OMG! I look like shit!” Thankfully, the skin issues are clearing up and I am looking less and less awful with each passing day.

All this illness together with the emotional purging that comes and goes is making 2017 a hellish year. I keep asking my guidance, “Why!?” Their answer is that I am “preparing.” Yeah, well, I’m TIRED of preparing. This sucks! All I want is to feel normal again please! Ha! Like I am “normal” anyway! lol

Oh and my voice isn’t completely back. I can’t sing. 😦 I love singing.

Anyway, after this morning’s big dream and emotional purge I went back to sleep and had more dreams and messages.

Dream: Broken Leg

I was in a hospital with a young, Hispanic man. He was laying down with gauze wrapped around his right calf (lack of balance, need to stand up for self). The nurse came in and scowled at him and I caught on that she and the other staff were purposefully avoiding helping the man because he was different than them. I got super angry and demanded they help him, confronting them on their discrimination and telling them off. I remember speaking Spanish in this dream.

Eventually the nurses tended to the man and I went to a juicer (need more energy) and attempted to make some fresh veggie juice (vitality). One of the nurses came and complemented me on the juice but asked where the carrots (lure) were. I told them there weren’t any in the fridge.

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Then I was in a bathroom (burdens) with the man and filling a bathtub (renewal) so he could take a bath. The tub got super full (emotion). When I went to drain some of the water I saw a dead cockroach (uncleanliness) floating in it.  I leaned in to open the drain and another roach was swimming around. I was totally disgusted but let the tub drain and celebrated when both cockroaches went down the drain.

When I went to help the man into the tub, I worried about his cast but when I looked at his leg he still only had gauze on it. I realized that he had not broken his leg after all (in balance).

Dream: Black and White Caterpillars 

This dream started off in a mall (choices/options). The stores were closing (time running out) and as we were leaving my family wanted to look for chairs (contemplate a situation before making a decision) in a store that was going out of business (end of path). They looked around inside for a while and there was discussion about the price of some chairs. The tag said $140 (progressive change and growth) and I told them the discount would make them cost $40. The chairs were suppose to go on the patio. I believe the family I was with were my physical family.

I lingered near a crystal and gem store but never went in. I remember knowing I needed to purchase something for protection.

Then I was riding a motorcycle through a dark parking lot (need to slow down). My son was sitting in front of me and I was holding him close to keep him from falling off. I felt like a bad mother and tried to hide the fact that he was riding with me.

I almost wrecked the motorcycle (desire freedom and adventure/moving fast) so out of fear of hurting my son, I parked it and started walking (slow, steady progress). I came to a narrow stairway (progress). It was the only way out of the parking lot. The stairway was full of green vines (hopes, ambitions, relationship) and there was green moss (patience) on the stone steps. When I began to walk up the stairs they turned into a high ledge (liberation) that I had to climb up. As soon I I tried to climb up thousands of large, black and white caterpillars (working toward goals) covered every inch of it. I stepped back a big grossed out. A woman and her daughter were nearby watching. I told her about the caterpillars. She said, “Oh, they are a delicacy!” I looked back at the mass of writhing caterpillars and thought to myself, “They eat them!?” The woman was gathering them up in her arms to take with her. I remember seeing them up close. They were huge, about a foot long, and covered in tiny, soft hairs.

Messages

When I woke up I lingered in the in-between for some time. While there I remember someone telling me, “You’re special” and feeling surrounded in loving energy. There is memory of a discussion here, but most of it is lost to me now.

I also recall visuals. One was of a string of condoms and one package was torn open. That woke me up with a start and I heard, “Protection”. I was thinking, “Eww! Really!?” lol I am certain this is not a literal message to protect myself during sex. It’s just another protection message and obviously my guides wanted to get me to notice and they know what works. hahaha

Then I was on a phone with a friend of mine. Not only could I hear him on the other end of the line, but I could also see him. He was wearing a t-shirt and either in bed or near it. I was talking a million miles a minute, super excited about something. I apologized for talking so much and he laughed and told me it was okay because he was feeling sluggish anyway and “happy to listen”. I remember him telling me he was still wearing his p.j.’s and that’s when the visual of him was strongest. I can’t remember what I was so excited about, though.

Eventually I woke up because of stomach discomfort. A song was going through my head – Shake it Off by Taylor Swift. This is the second morning I’ve woken up hearing it. It is not a song I like (sorry Taylor Swift fans, I just can’t stand her) so I haven’t mentioned it. Anytime I hear it on the radio I change stations. lol So, of course, it would be a music message. Ha! Anyway, the part I heard is, “Play, play, play, play…..Shake it off” over and over. Maybe if I post the song it will go away now so I can be left in peace. lol

 

 

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Something’s Up

It started yesterday. I felt a strange feeling hanging around all day. It felt like the other shoe was about to drop, yet nothing out of the ordinary occurred. I kept sensing my guidance on my left and twice I attempted to visit the gym only to change my mind. Just considering a gym visit brought on worry and anxiety. The last thing I wanted was to end up having another panic attack!

Apparently this Cancer new moon is partly to blame. I don’t necessarily sense new moon energy much but yesterday the intensity and anticipatory feeling that hung around all day was quite bothersome. I kept getting the thought, “Something’s about to happen” but then nothing would.

Thankfully the feeling vanished by nightfall but not before my guidance came through quite strongly with a feeling of “back to work”. I said to them, “I’m done with the purging, right? I don’t think I can handle anymore.” The reply back was without words but I got the message. Mostly I understood that I’m an empath and part of my job is to feel and transmute the emotions of the collective. Yay – not. My guidance chuckled and said, “You know you can do this.” Ha!

Dream: Student Becomes Teacher

I woke up at 11pm from a very deep sleep thinking I had slept the entire night. Surprised that it had only been an hour I drifted back to sleep.

Then I was with my “family” traveling down a road toward a school building. We had all been relocated to a new place, somewhere far from Texas based upon the foliage of the trees, the foothills and all-over green I was seeing. I didn’t know how I got there or who I was or why I was going to school. I felt very out of my element and couldn’t understand why I was just plucked up and placed in a strange place.

When we arrived at the school it didn’t resemble any school I have ever been to. It was massive and the feel of it was very studious and intense. There was a collective feeling as well, like we were gathering with countless other “families”.

On the way in I suddenly remembered I had forgotten to pack my lunch. My “brother” was on my left and said he had been given $35 and not to worry. This “brother” was the only other family member I recall seeing throughout the dream despite there being others around us I could sense.

Inside the building we sat in a waiting room while one-by-one we went in to the registrar to fill out paperwork and give her our personal information. Everything in the building was a golden color and filled with a light that had no source. I was asked to provide my address and I couldn’t remember it because I had only been there once. She asked me what road we lived on. I can only remember now that I said, “Bridge” as the name of the street. Ultimately she dismissed me saying the computer would fill in the information I couldn’t provide.

I was given my schedule and told to go to class. I was resistant to this because I knew I had already taken all the classes, graduated and had a degree – two degrees. A woman walked me to the main hall and told me, “The hours are 9-12. You can make your first class still.” I remember the classes on my schedule were all history classes.

I went into the first classroom and took a seat. All of the desks were connected by a rubber-like netting. As the teacher began to ask the class questions about the material they had covered I became overwhelmed. Memory of all the lectures, assignments, readings, and projects I would have to do for the class hit me and I felt instantly deflated. I was NOT going to do it all over again! So I attempted to leave but was caught up by the netting of the desks and had to climb over it to get out. The teacher asked me why I wasn’t staying. I said, “I’ve already taken history and graduated with a degree. In fact, my undergrad degree is in history!”

photo-graduation-cap

Back in the hallway the woman took my arm and walked with me for a while. She asked me what was wrong. I explained that I had already taken all the classes, telling her about my degrees. I actually forgot what my degrees were and it took me a while to remember them. I was frantic and beginning to panic because I didn’t understand what was going on. How did I get there? Why was I in school again? Something was just not right!

As we talked, we discussed this new place I found myself in. I found myself floating above my new “home”. I could see mountains, lots of green and foliage very different from Central Texas. I recognized I was in the eastern U.S. somewhere. The feeling I got was reassurance and relief when I saw where I was. I had lots of questions – how did I get there, why was I there, why didn’t anyone prepare me ahead of time for this relocation? I don’t remember the answers. Instead there was constant reassurance that I would be okay.

Then I was sitting at a table. The woman sat across from me. She was trying to calm me down because despite seeing where I was I still felt total confusion and disorientation. My memory seemed to be missing in huge chunks and it left me with little stability. The woman with me was so loving, holding my hand and reassuring me constantly that I was loved and everything would be okay. Her energy was probably the only reason I didn’t lose it.

I kept telling the woman, “I’m not suppose to be here. I’ve already graduated.” She said, “Where are you suppose to be?” I said, “I don’t know. I’m a teacher, like you, not a student.” She said, “What would you like to do?” I had no answer other than a feeling of wanting to be of service. She sent me a visual, then, as if to subdue me. I saw a horse running through the trees. I immediately calmed down and smiled. She said, “Do you like it?” I said, “Yes, of course, but you are just trying to distract me aren’t you?” It reminded me of how teachers give volatile students games to occupy them and calm them down.

Then I noticed there were others sitting at the table with us eating lunch. They were all “teachers” and there were eight, four on each side of the table. I remember knowing I was a teacher, too, and the student role I was being placed in upset me. I remember being asked if I wanted to change my role from student to teacher. I said, “Yes” and felt huge relief. I knew the “teachers” at the table. They were my “coworkers” and for the first time in the dream I felt I belonged there.

The woman and I talked some more. I don’t remember what was said but again I was transported to another scene. I saw a car flying over treetops and snow covered hills. The bottom of the car was on fire. Inside of it was my father and my two sisters. The car landed on top of a tree which then also caught fire. Out of the car and tree poured a load of Christmas presents. I knew my “father” was also “Santa” and we were all excited for his return. Then I said to her, “That was the day he told us he was dying.” I burst into tears. The grief I felt was overwhelming and woke me up.

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Messages

I felt my body jerk as I bolted awake. I cried for a bit, the grief still intense. The confusion remained for sometime upon waking. It is now apparent to me that I was not myself, I was some “other” version, a very child-like version. The woman from the dream was with me still as I woke, very close and comforting saying, “We love you. You will be alright. Everything’s alright.” She was very mother-like and her energy enveloped me and soothed my upset.

The first feeling I had was fear. I was told, “Do not be afraid” more than once. I don’t know what I was afraid of exactly but it felt like the dream was real, that I was being relocated to this place in the eastern U.S. It felt soon, like tomorrow, and the urge to go to this place, wherever it was, was strong and scared me all the more.

At some point I was reminded to “take control” of this other version, to not become victim of the fear that was there and to be the Observer. As I did this, the dream and it’s meaning became clear.

The “school” and repeating classes was very obviously karma. I have taken the classes numerous times, passed them and even “graduated” but keep coming back to repeat them over and over. The other “teachers” are my Council. There were 8 plus the woman, so 9 total. I knew that I was a “teacher”, too, but for some reason I had agreed to come to the Earth school and be the student. My Council is a group of my peers. My friends and colleagues. We support one another.

I heard the woman say to me, “Remember” and I did, though it is hard to say in words what I recalled. I remembered volunteering to come here, choosing the student role despite already having mastered the courses I would be taking. It felt like I had gotten caught up in karma and was finally “waking up” from a lifetime of amnesia.

The fear was coming from the “change” I sensed ahead of me. It felt as if I was to throw out everything I had built in this lifetime and step into the life I was meant to live. It’s not that this new life is bad, it’s more that I sensed the difficulty of the path ahead. I was asked if I wanted to be a “teacher” and I eagerly accepted. What does that mean exactly? I’m not sure, but there were connections made between my current lifetime and my mission here. Everything correlates. I could see the symbolism in this lifetime much like I see the symbolism of all my dreams. The dream became the reality and the reality became the dream. It’s like all this time I have been dreaming, trying to Remember, and that memory manifested in my physical life.

I eventually shifted to the dream and the memory behind it. In recalling the dream, I settled on the part where I saw the fiery car land in the trees and distribute presents. I knew this meant I was to receive “gifts” and my thought went to the last “gift” I received. I heard my guide say, “The gift that keeps on giving.” I knew what they were referring to. Then I thought of the feeling that work me up. I don’t know why I felt so much grief from knowing my father was going to die. The emotion did not match yet it was very real.

I got other messages. Protection was again stressed. Then I saw more than once 111. The last time I saw the number it was in a sequence: 111-111-5-13

The last thing I heard was, “Five more days.”

I’ve been feeling extremely Homesick all morning.