Last night I watched a movie that I recommend to you if you haven’t already seen it. It is free if you have Amazon Prime. I don’t know if it is on Netflix or not. It’s called The Cokeville Miracle. It’s based on a true story. My daughter and I watched it and were both crying most of the movie. So be aware that it is a tearjerker but not because it is sad, but because it is beautiful.
I went to bed crying and woke up crying. Lots to process this morning. Full moon energy is powerful this month. I am still struggling to recall dreams from early on in the night but my morning dreams are vivid and revealing.
Dream: Healing Boat
Suddenly found myself sitting on the deck of a boat in the middle of a calm, blue-green ocean. All I could see for miles and miles was ocean and a clear, blue sky. My focus, though, was on a woman who seemed to be walking on the water. She was talking to a dog that was swimming in the water below her. The woman had dark hair and was wearing a gown of white lace that seemed alive, swirling around her like energy or millions of tiny butterflies. If looking at her, the top of her – face, torso, arms – was solid looking but her hips and legs were a mass of swirling white.
The woman was talking to the dog, asking him to retrieve a ball or something floating on the water. He was paddling fast but making no progress and she was thinking (I could hear her thoughts) that he was just playing with her as was his normal personality. There was another thought originating from someone else about dog treats and what kind to give him to encourage him to go after the toy. It was a lighthearted conversation and pleasant.
Similarly I was telepathically speaking with the other woman about the woman floating over the water. I knew she traveled OOB every night and that this was normal for the place I was visiting. Everyone went OOB. Everyone was super tuned in to their spiritual – well innate – abilities. I remember thinking, “I guess I’m not special after all” but I didn’t react to this knowledge despite recognizing a part of me was very attached to wanting to be “special”.
From aboard the boat I watched them but then began to get pulled into a memory of my own dog, Trooper. I knew the dog in the water was my dog and the woman floating above the water was me. There was an entire recollection of a lifetime of memories with my dog, but they were not memories from this life though they were very similar. I remembered that he got lost for a long time and one day just appeared standing at the front door to my old house. Yet the dog that returned home was not the dog that was lost but an exact duplicate of him and one I accepted wholeheartedly as my lost dog. In the recollection I was talking to someone, saying, “He just came home one day.” The memory confused me, though, because I also remembered him dying and so to see him so solidly at the front door upset me to no end. I began to cry at the joy of seeing him and the realization that he was not alive but had been dead for nearly 5 years. I could not make sense of it.
In the midst of my tears a voice said, “It’s not your reality here.” It woke me up and I fell into heaving sobs over the loss of my dog. 5 years and I still have such heartache over the loss of him.
Time is Not Linear
Memories surfaced of the time I had with my dog. I missed my companion and wished he was here right now to assist me in yet another difficult life transition. He had been there for the entirety of my first marriage, through my Dark Night and into the first years of my current marriage. I again began to feel guilt over his death. I was reminded that he never really died and that he was still a part of me. This calmed me because I knew it to be true. I saw him often in dreamtime.
After crying for a short while I Knew that I was still in the midst of major healing. I was still dreaming of being on the boat (unknown or subconscious aspects of Self). The good news is that I never go into the water and the water is always calm. The boat is always white and I feel protected, safe and comfortable, as if I am on a long vacation away from everything. I recognized the boat was my protected healing space where I received helped as I sorted through lifetimes of memories and jumped to various timelines doing healing there, too. The boat never moves, it floats, as if suspended in time. That is how my life is now as well. Everything is temporarily suspended while I heal.
There was Knowing that this healing work is purposeful and necessary, preparing me to “move on” to my next step. I am very acutely aware that I am not yet ready to take that step. I don’t know how long it will take me to be ready, either.
I was shown the healing I am doing as a mass of yellow. It looked similar to a weather map showing precipitation in a certain area. Yellow would indicate moderate rainfall, green light and red intense. Thee was no red (yay) but some minor spots of green. Most of it was yellow. In this case the map was of the Austin area focused on the main highway heading toward Austin. The yellow color was bunched up along the highway and then masses of it were circling Austin. I saw the map as representing a map of my healing on the way to my center (core).
When I finally calmed down, I drifted into the in-between over and over. I kept running into full stories of alternate lives I lived parallel to this one, at least that is the best way to describe them. This has been coming up for several months now but I have not been ready to confront what what I was experiencing. I kept assuming I was just entering into dreams and then forgetting them in full when I attempted to retrieve the memory.
I will have full recollection of an entire life similar to this one with subtle and sometimes major differences. The memory will be so vivid that it catches my attention but as soon as I focus on the memory it vanishes and all that will be left are impressions and feelings. For example, one time I had a full memory of a list of things I needed to do and was about to leave the house to retrieve them. When I focused on the memory to get more details I knew it was not important or related to this lifetime and I lost the specifics, only retaining the impression of the list and the feeling of needing to go to my car.
While in the in-between I went to a beautiful house and began to pull down white shades on huge windows overlooking a view of a valley full of trees shrouded in mist. A woman said to me, “You will open them again soon” and I looked back at the windows and realized I had been allowed to view one of these alternate realities of mine. I also recognized the house. I had been there before.
My guidance came through then and said, “Time is not linear.” With this information I saw the typical timeline that one connects to an individual lifetime explode outward as if hit by a bomb. There was no longer a line but a void full of dots resembling stars. I knew this meant that my perception of time was being altered. It gave me a strange feeling that is hard to describe.
I was told that multiple timelines are available to me. I got a feeling that I was shifting rapidly through them all the time during this healing process. Past, present and future were all Now in these experiences.