You may be wondering if I’m still doing the happy dance over here. Well, yes and no. Yes, I am still feeling silly. Singing and dancing, playing around with my kids, just enjoying life. Then there is the “no” part. I only said “no” because yesterday morning I woke with a strange “off” feeling in stark contrast to how I have been waking every morning for the past week. Ultimately, it was a premonition of things to come. My husband triggered me and I spent a good part of the morning working with intention and pulling myself out of the heavier energy I allowed myself to fall into. But I did it. 🙂
This song came to me while I was reversing the energy flow and shifting back into my happy place.
I went to bed feeling happy. 🙂 This morning I awoke feeling happy. Silly songs were going through my mind and I felt like dancing. Honestly, this personality change reminds me of my “drunk” self. I’m a happy drunk, a silly drunk, a talkative, laughing, high-as-a-kite drunk. Some say you become your “real” self when you’re drunk. Perhaps it is true? And now I am just being my real self when in the past I was unable to fully embrace her?
Here is a song that was going through my head when I woke up this morning. Makes me want to spin around and around and around while smiling really big.
So are you tired of my happy posts yet? Anyone disgusted, jealous, or just can’t stand to read my posts lately? (gagging sound) I totally understand. I’ve done a bit of gagging in my life and been completely put off by being around people who are “overly happy to the point of sickening”. I get it. I do. Hate me, pass up my happy posts. I’ll still be happy over here dancing to songs from the Minion’s movie. To be totally honest, I never thought this kind of extended happy feeling could be maintained. I do reality checks often (am I dreaming?) and turns out this is real.
You may also be turned off by my posts because your reality right now is in stark contrast to my own. I’ve been there. It’s tough. I’m sorry you’re struggling. I love you. I hope you can feel it.
The energies right now are brutal! First, there were several intensely powerful gamma ray bursts. Then came the geomagnetic storms that are only now subsiding.
We are being tumbled and thrown about in a raging ocean of intense energy – energy of extremes – positive/negative, protons and neutrons – cellular restructuring, crystallizing. Just when you come up for air you are pummeled and pushed below the water’s surface again.
By the way, I’m not immune, either. Not only was I triggered by my husband, but my neck has been feeling strange, energy swirling up and around the back of it and at moments causing me to feel as if I have a sore throat on the outside. Try to imagine that…. My lips are peeling like I burned them (I know weird). I’m super hungry and thirsty. So yeah, I have some side-effects, too.
I’ve been asked by others how to ride this wave. No you are not dying. You are transforming and this WILL pass.
My advice has been listen to your body. If you’re tired, rest. If you’re hungry, eat. If you’re thirsty, drink up. If your mind is slowly sending you into a deep, never-ending despair or taking you around in circles, get out of it and into your heart. If you can’t manage that, then occupy your mind with something mentally challenging. Crossword puzzle? Or do something grounding but active like house cleaning, walking, strenuous exercise for short periods.
Sometimes, though, you may just have to allow whatever it is that needs to surface to come up. Then let it go. Harder than it sounds, I know. It takes practice. I am by no means a master at it. It took me all morning yesterday to “let go” and “hold space” for myself and my husband. Setting an intention helps.
Hot salt baths with essential oils are one of my favorite ways to handle intense energies. Sometimes they incite an emotional release. It’s okay. Cry in heaving sobs. Get it out.
Don’t forget to turn to what brings you joy in life. This can be a masterful way of integrating the energies. If you have children, surround yourself in their hugs. Snuggle. Watch a movie together. Veg out. Love to sing? Sing, even if it a sorrowful song. Drawing, painting, gardening, dancing….do whatever brings your heart joy even if at the time you don’t feel that joy.
A question I’ve seen a lot of lately:
I’ve been on this ascension path for what seems like forever! When will it stop?
Hate to tell you, but there is no “end”. We are always ascending. And descending. It’s a spiral. The pain, the discomfort, the struggle will stop when you are done with the experience. Think back to when you were a child. You were curious. You explored your world. You spent hours sometimes just exploring one particular object or space. Sometimes you went back over and over to this space or activity. When did you stop? When you were no longer interested in it. Then you moved on to explore something else. This is how we are as Spirit – forever children in awe and fascination with life and existence. Though you may feel you are “done” and have lost interest in the ascension path, your higher self may still have more to explore and is currently fascinated with whatever experience you find yourself in.
For me, I had to surrender. Completely surrender. I’ve been traveling this path all.my.life, but intensely so since 2003 and even more intensely since 2014. It was only recently that I finally surrendered and I only did so when backed into a corner. I thought for sure I was going to do something crazy, lose my mind, die the most horrendous death. I was ready to commit myself, to take any and all psychiatric medications just to make the pain stop. I had many previous “death” moments, but nothing like this.
On the other side of it, I can see how I chose the path, the pain and despair. Once I surrendered I saw that I could choose love, joy, happiness. That it is an intention. Though I had set intentions previously, I never truly understood the process until now. It is not a mental activity – Think what you want and focus on it and it will come to you. It’s from the heart. It’s a feeling. A full allowance and openness from the heart. There is no doubt, no second guessing, no what if’s. Setting an intention from the mind opens you up to all of the booby traps of the mind and leads to failure. It’s a lot of work, too. You have to keep thinking, focusing, re-stating intention. When it comes from the heart it just IS.
I hope this all makes sense and provides you with some kind of direction, some kind of solace as you ride the storm. If anything, listen to Raindrops Keep Falling on my Head. Hopefully it will make you smile.