Today was my last day at work and a busy one. As soon as I got to work I had to go outside for crossing guard duty. It was a beautiful, clear, brisk morning and all the kindergartners were dressed up as fairy tale characters. I saw more Elsa’s and Cinderellas than I could count. lol As I stood there waiting for children to gather on the curb I saw a lone, white bird fly low across the sky. It was a stork of all things. Quite unusual!
When I was done with duty my morning was full with several students requesting to see me and a couple of guidance lessons in kindergarten, first and fourth grade. They had announced my last day that morning and so everyone was saying goodbye and wishing me well. I got more hugs than I can count, some from students I had never really interacted with.
I received a beautiful drawing from one of my sweet second graders. She was shy and withdrawn when we first met, resisting hugs and keeping her distance. Since then she has blossomed and hugs have been a normal greeting from her. I got at least six from her today, one in which she didn’t want to let go. Such a sweetheart.
Another student, a little second grader whose mom has stage four cancer, requested to see me again today even though I saw him just two days ago. Not the hugging kind and preferring more distance than most, I could feel he just felt better in my presence, as I did in his. When I thought about how I was leaving him when he most needs me I felt sad and teared up. I feel like I am “abandoning” these kids.
Yet when I left work for the last time today, I felt my time there was complete. I felt no sorrow at leaving. My only concern was for all the time that was about to be mine and what I would fill it with. I knew immediately that I needed no distractions for the inner work I am about to do and I shuddered at the thought of it. This job served its purpose and now it is time to move on.
While on the drive home I began to feel a familiar heaviness in my heart, a distinctive signal that some purging was coming. Sure enough by the time I drove into my garage there were tears in my eyes and a feeling of not being able to handle this anymore. “This” being whatever is happening and has been happening to me.
Then, after dinner tonight, my husband showed me a picture he and my youngest drew together of the number 218. My youngest can’t count well yet and when he does he counts “2….1….8”. lol He repeats it no matter how many times you ask. So they colored it for me. My daughter added her part as well which caught my “eye”. I had to include it here for you all.
My daughter says hers is an “eye”. The interesting thing is that one of my long-time clients just asked me about a vision she keeps seeing in meditation. The vision? That of a blue eye looking at her. Prior to that, I heard that a sign of Kundalini awakening is receiving vivid visions of eyes. Funny, the one eye I remember seeing was that of an ET. I painted it. Remember? lol
As for 218, well it equals 11 of course! lol Here is the angel number meaning in case you are curious.
And don’t think I forgot about the stork. Nope. Storks are all about rebirth and renewal. A good sign? I hope so.
Emotionally, I am better now, until whatever is happening hits me again and I feel like I am dying from the inside-out. Yay for transformation and “inner work”…NOT.