Going Down

The pummeling continues for me. Apparently I am not alone. Though I don’t have much time lately to peruse the articles on the internet, I am occasionally drawn to one to confirm whatever it is that has briefly crossed my mind. I ran across this one today and the map pictured in it pulled me in. It reminded me of a dream I had a few nights ago in which I was being shown power spots in the U.S. Mt. Shasta was one of those. I also saw other locations spread across the globe. The description of the energies in this post also hit home. I am suffering. Still. Thankfully I don’t have body issues. Mine is all emotional. It is like my empathic side is super charged. I don’t like it.

Yesterday it seemed like all was back to “normal” for a while. I went for an hour long run with my husband. We talked the entire time. It was pleasant and I had more energy than I thought I would. The day was beautiful. Clear blue skies, cool temperatures, just a nice day. When I got home I felt very grounded and stable. I thought maybe the upheaval I have been experiencing was over. Yet I knew with that thought that it wasn’t.

Dream: U-Turn

I was driving along a busy highway. There were more lanes than I could count and it was night and the headlights of thousands of cars filled my vision. I was not in a car, I was flying at very high speeds. For some reason, I felt I had missed my exit. I couldn’t figure out where I was. Everything was foreign to me. I determined that I was going the wrong way and so suddenly turned around, making a u-turn into the lanes going the opposite direction. No headlights were on that side. It was clear.

I turned quickly and with too much speed but managed to go the other way. Several people stopped me, asking if I was okay. I said I was and kept going. Yet when I began to look for the right exit, I found I was in the wrong place. My exit was going the other way. This confused me even more.

Dream: Going Down

I must have exited and found myself inside a building with many levels. There was a restaurant and the floors were uneven with many levels of their own. I ended up in front of a row of elevators. I was told some were not working properly. I watched three doors open. Doors 3, 4 and 5. The problem was that once the doors closed they would not go in the direction intended and you may end up trapped inside. Despite this, I saw my middle son get in. The door closed and when he came out his clothes were gone and he was completely naked. The same thing happened to others who got in. Completely naked.

I saw one elevator open to the level on the other side. A man went in and ran across. When he made it to the other side he was burned, a big, red circle on his midsection. It was clear to me these elevators were not normal. I asked how we would be able to get up to the higher floors. I was told, “These elevators are going down. We are already on the top floor.” In my mind I saw that they descended hundreds of floors down, into a space that was beyond my comprehension. I knew I had to choose one and allow it to take me down. I was afraid.

At My Limit

When I awoke from these dreams I was disoriented. It reminded me of experiences I have been having when I drive lately. I will find myself driving along and suddenly not know where I am. I will panic and it takes time to figure out where I am. The first time this happened it was on a drive to my Mom’s at Thanksgiving. Since then, whenever I drive I worry it will happen again and many times it does making it that much scarier to be behind the wheel. The lights of the cars blend together and I feel disoriented and confused. It is like I am a new driver and am not sure I can drive a car.

I burst into tears because this feeling is how my life feels right now. It is like when I went scuba diving at night. It is the most disorienting thing. You can’t determine which way is up, down, east, west. The blackness is scary and you freeze because you don’t know where to go or where it will lead you.

I spent a good hour this morning in bed crying. Crying because nothing makes sense and I can’t figure out what to do. The counselor side of me kicked in, though, and I understood why my guidance keeps suggesting that I dive into my 3D life. My job and my kids right now are my only stable ground. Take one or both of those away and I am sure I would crash into a psychotic break or worse. Without these responsibilities to push me out of bed every morning, I don’t know where I would be right now. Not a good place, I’m sure.

This is by far the worst time in my life to date. I can’t stress how bad I am/feel. Inside. On the outside, I look fine. I’m good at faking it. An old pro. But this is pushing me to my breaking point. I don’t know what that will look like. Ugly probably.

Even at work today I had to hide many times throughout the day. This is not the first time, either. It’s an on-again, off-again cycle. Good day. Brutal day. Okay day. Brutal day. So even immersion in 3D is not doing me much good now.

Guidance

My guidance is not helping much. Lately they have been saying, “We can’t interfere.” The only constant is that whatever this is will pass and on the other side things will be “clear”. They did say I am delving deep into the subconscious, into uncharted territory. Whatever it is that I am digging up is really heavy stuff. I wish I could make sense of it, but then I would have to have energy to do that. Right now I am exhausted. All the life has been sucked out of me.

These two songs have been helpful lately. Music and art have been my saviors. Any creative outlet helps. So if you are going through something like I am, create something. Anything. It makes the pain bearable.

Pick a star on the dark horizon and follow the light….. 🙂

 

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11 thoughts on “Going Down

  1. herongrace says:

    I can relate a lot to what you are saying Dayna. i thought maybe I was just quietly losing it slightly. Like you say, things that you have always just done automatically suddenly become an unknown territory that you have to rethink. Forgetting basic stuff. I don’t remember my dreams very much. Feeling strong empathy for what is happening around the planet. I am so grateful I can just potter along at my own pace as the “real” world would seem “unreal” to me.
    Very Neptunian I think. Remember it is closely squaring your moon I think. At the same time whilst struggling with basics, I am able to pull same amazing bunnies out of my hat which get validated and look at them and think “where did that come from?”
    It’s a good thing I have had a long time to get used to Neptune’s world, Lol!

    Liked by 1 person

    • Dayna says:

      I want Neptune to go away. This is torture. I don’t want to go to sleep now. That is so not like me because I LOVE my dreams/OBEs/travels. But now most nights I get hell and tears. Yeah, I got a great OBE the other night but that doesn’t make up for the wringer I am being put through. Thankfully my days are mostly emotionless. It’s like I go numb to make up for the emotional overflow of the night.

      I would rather go through 10 unmedicated childbirths in a row than deal with this kind of pain.

      Liked by 1 person

      • herongrace says:

        I’ve had a feeling of anxiety since the 28th that a big wave is on the way. So Neptune! But I think sensitives esp someone as aware of their astral world as you is getting disturbing info and what might arrive and naturally this bleeds through into our sleeping and waking selves. Painful days where we must try to nurture ourselves where possible.

        Liked by 1 person

      • Dayna says:

        It hasn’t broken me yet. I am told I am stronger than I think. Guessing I will find out soon enough. 🙂 Thanks so much for your help in understanding all of this. ❤

        Liked by 3 people

  2. litebeing says:

    Life is getting stranger and stranger. Time and space seems more distorted at times and my moods shift quickly. But I get pulled back to sanity and clarity eventually. Ground yourself. You know what to do. I send love to you.

    hugs and peace, Linda

    Liked by 3 people

  3. MollyB111 says:

    Oh my goodness am I glad I read this – a great post, dreams, music (<3 Regina Spektor) and comments! For me it's as if each few hours are so different. Up, down, ok… then…? This week feels different. Like years of working along/up with those occasion pauses or dips and now it is all … lateral, like a 3D video game and with each turn a new situation. Moments of disorientation – YES! I felt a shift right before dinner so I anticipate this energy shifting again yet then… I just watched a movie that seemed to take me to another time/space and… back to wtf is going on, now?? And just about impossible describe so nice to come home for a moment; this helped ground me. Guidance for me is limited yet like, all is well; a smiley face. So letting go and just experiencing. We must be synching up in multiple realities, awakening a mother load. Doing okay with all of it but if this had happened earlier it would have pushed me to my limit. Are we having fun yet…? ❤ ya!

    Liked by 2 people

  4. kittyasmith says:

    Ha! It’s not just me… I am finally beginning to remember my dreams and even had two astral encounters. One was with my unborn grandson, ❤️
    Waking life is extremely difficult. So tired, feeling ill today and it was a highly anticipated day off. I spent it in bed and headachey.

    Hanging in there.

    Liked by 1 person

  5. Karin says:

    Sorry to hear that you are going through this excruciating phase right now. I send you hugs and compassion. Thanks for the tip about having a creative outlet.

    Liked by 1 person

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