I thought I was to get a reprieve on the emotional dreams. Well, I sorta did except now the emotion is anger. I mean make-a-person-turn-red-in-the-face anger. Yeah. That bad. Funny enough, I am much better with anger than the deep, soul wrenching agony I was experiencing. Give me anger any day over that mess. I just don’t handle the heaviness in my heart. Apathy is the pits. Anger isn’t heavy. Its animated. It takes action. I’m all about action.
As with my other dreams, the connection to the emotion isn’t always obvious.
Dream: Twin Toilets
I entered into a bathroom to use it. It was dark and there were two large windows. Yellow light was pouring in through them almost blinding me. I went to the first toilet to use it and found it was full of feces. I flushed it and the toilet drained but when it re-filled the feces came back up. Gross.
On the other side of the vanity and sink was another toilet. I heard someone say, “Use the other one.” No one was with me so not sure who made the suggestion. I went to the other one. The water was clear.
I woke up furious and arguing with someone saying, “Two is NOT better than one.” All I could think about was that I was left to clean up someone else’s mess all alone. No support. Denied love. Blocked communication. Abandoned.
I see the contrast between the dream from the past and this current dream. Their is a separation between the toilets now and one is full of feces which represents an aspect of Self that is considered dirty and repulsive. I had thought the past dream was representative of connecting with another in the physical – my “twin” – but now I think it may have been representative of another aspect of myself. This dream confirms the latter is more likely. I am being given a choice between two very different aspects of Self. Those aspects are no longer close together but drifting farther and farther apart. The voice told me to choose one over the other, indicating I have a choice.
Dream: Drained Battery
I was in a house with two rooms. The next day I was to catch a plane. It was late and I was almost done, going through a check-list in my mind to make sure I didn’t forget anything. I was already in bed and near sleep when I remembered I needed to charge my phone. I jumped out of bed and found my phone. The battery symbol was in the red and it was in power saving mode. I found the adapter and plugged it into the wall and also connected it with an ethernet cord. The phone wouldn’t charge, though.
A black woman was suddenly by my side suggesting I use the outlet in the other room. She showed me her phone was charging just fine. I tried the outlet and the phone would not charge. She pointed out another outlet on the other side of the room. Still nothing. She even suggested I call the phone company. I told her I couldn’t at such a late hour.
I ventured back to my room feeling frustrated. What was wrong with my phone!? Without it I would have no way to communicate!
The lights then turned on and I was standing inside a huge garage. I could see better and saw an outlet. I plugged my phone in and it finally showed it was charging. Again I had to plug it in to an electrical outlet and an ethernet outlet.
This dream seems to be focusing on my struggle to find energy/motivation. There is also the communication element as indicated by the cell phone. I feel unable to communicate; blocked on all sides. There is also feeling unheard by my guidance and by those around me. It feels pointless to even attempt to communicate. Like it won’t do any good.
Note: This morning, when I woke up, my phone had died in the night, so drained of battery that when I turned it on, it would immediately shut down before it registered the charger. This happened three times and on the fourth it finally accepted the charge and did not shut down. I got very concerned at first, thinking I would have to take it to the cell phone company to get it fixed or replaced. Just like in the dream. Weird.
Dream: Twin Kittens
A mother calico cat and two calico kittens were near me. The entire dream was focused on them. They were given to me and I was taking care of them. The mother cat remained curled up protectively around the two kittens. All three of them were the muddle, dirty calico, not with the defined typical calico patterns. All of them were female. I was talking to someone about moving them from one location to another and being given encouragement. I remember focusing on the little kittens, their round bellies full of milk, happily cuddling in their mother’s embrace. They had tiny little brown eyes and were perfect in every way. It was like I returned to my youth when I use to love baby animals of all kinds and watched many litters of kittens be born and raised. I even use to collect cat and kitten figurines when I was around 10-11 years old.
I am not sure how to interpret this dream. The twin theme is repeating but as kittens. Kittens represent transitional phases toward independence. Since the twins are both female, I am not sure what to think except that maybe again they symbolize the two aspects of Self. I did focus on the one on the left more than the right. Perhaps that is significant. The coloration could also be significant – all three were muddy, blurred calico colors. This could indicate that there is confusion present.
I had many discussions while in the in-between. I heard song phrases in my head. One was from Queen, Bohemian Rhapsody – “Gotta leave it all behind and face the truth.” The other was from the song Litost, “Just to say that I’m yours and you’ll never be mine.”
All along I was furious. I began to think of something someone posted on FB about a woman who views all ET experiences, spiritual ascension experiences and Twin Flame phenomena as a ploy by negative ET races who are trying to control the human race. The question was raised if it was possible that the heart connection and intense magnetism of Twin Flame and similar experiences was one of these control mechanisms. I had replied that I couldn’t imagine such a beautiful heart experience would be something sinister. This morning I considered that maybe I am wrong about it. Maybe it all is the domain of Team Dark, meant to throw us off our paths and control us? It seemed an accurate conclusion, especially with all the anger I was feeling. Once again I had the consideration to disappear from the internet but this time because suddenly all my spiritual experiences felt all to be a lie to me, meant to distract me from living so that I fall into a fantasy world that will never be.
Before you all panic, all of this is just a process that is occurring, an allowing of the expression of emotions. It doesn’t mean I am tossing everything I have been through or that I think it is all manipulation by Team Dark.