Yesterday I experienced a HUGE shift during the middle of the day. After weeks (a month?) of intense emotion which pushed me to my absolute limit, haunting and sometimes disturbing dreams, and relentless hounding by my Team of guides, all of it went CALM and for the first time in a month I was feeling immense relief and smiling from ear-to-ear. I had the urge to paint for the first time in weeks as well and it was the creative outlet I needed to push past the last remnants of funk that have been clouding my days.
When I woke this morning I was smiling. Yeah. Woo-hoo! It’s about time! There was still a Knowing that some particularly difficult times are awaiting me, but I didn’t care. I was just happy to be alive and, for me, that is a rare thing!
This morning my good friend Litebeing commented on something I posted yesterday on FB. I had been considering deleting my entire online presence – disappearing completely from the internet, even deleting email accounts I’ve had for years. She commented that Neptune had stationed direct last night and to hold off on making any decisions until its influence upon me had diminished because it can cause uncertainty, fogginess and confusion. She published a post on Neptune Direct and it peaked my interest. Was Neptune the cause of all my funk and now the huge relief I am feeling?
In a search for the answer, I returned to the astrological forecast Litebeing did for me in May this year. Sure enough, Neptune is a very strong influence in my chart:
The planet Neptune is about creativity, spirituality, and dissolving of reality. It has been in my chart since Feb 2003 and is in the 1st house. It coincides with my first awakening which is no coincidence. It will remain until 2021. At age 40 I hit a developmental cycle which will propel me into public view, increase creativity, exaggerate mood (ugh), and increase psychic and empathic connections.
Litebeing gave me additional information about what is happening with my chart currently. She said, “Natal Neptune is conjunct your Moon (emotional center) and they are square Mars natally. Lots of emotional upheaval and extreme sensitivity is your normal. Transiting Neptune is squaring your Moon and Neptune and opposing your Mars at this time.” I read this and am a bit overwhelmed but thinking, “Why did I do this to myself!??”
This information brings clarity to a dream symbol I have been encountering the last few weeks, though. The gun. There is a gun/gun reference in my dreams almost nightly. I see the gun as a symbol of protection and this coincides with my guidance suggesting I surround myself in protection because I am super empathic right now. Have I been doing this? No because I don’t feel it will do any good. Hahaha Me and my pessimism!
Saturn is also influencing my chart right now (through December). I am not sure if I hate Saturn or Neptune more right now. Thinking Saturn is worse based upon what came up in my forecast. It makes me super moody and depressed (that is my tendency anyway).
Saturn may cause a tendency to be more melancholy and depressed but if I am willing to work this could be a good time career-wise. Since I tend towards the melancholy I suspect I will be depressed……..In Nov/Dec there is a high likelihood for arguments especially with men. LOL Delays in relationships and testing of relationships also likely. In February relationships become more balanced and there is stability all around, especially money-wise. Practical love. Is there such a thing? Added bonus is that someone with a lot of Saturn influence like me tends to be more mature and patient. I laughed at the patient part.
I also have Jupiter influencing my chart right now. Jupiter makes everything bigger. Since October Jupiter has shifted my focus to the occult, going deep within, being more analytical and intuitive, powerful and sexual. Could it get anymore complicated!?
Thankfully everything should begin to level out by February and definitely by March. My job ends at the end of January and my dreams/OBEs continue to indicate that something will happen by this time as well (4 moons, two of which have already passed). My gut Knowing is that it is a time of endings, completion of some cycle. I wish I could take a long nap and wake up in February.
Good news is that the career portion of my life is taking off. By the time I finish with this job assignment I will have accrued $14k. Not bad for 10 weeks of playing with kids all day. 🙂 Though I have no idea where I will be led career-wise when this job is over, I feel optimistic (yeah) about my job prospects in the future. In the past I was certain that work/finance would never be an issue for me. This certainty wavered last year but has now returned along with an interest in returning to the work-a-day world. My current job has played a significant grounding role in my life these past few weeks. Without it I think I would likely have dropped into the deepest, darkest depression ever. So thankful for the stabilizing influence it has had in my life! In fact, work is the only stable thing in my life right now. Ha!
I have nine days off for Thanksgiving break so the stabilizing influence of my job will be missing during this time. Additionally, my 9th wedding anniversary is on Thanksgiving day this year. However, my guidance indicated to me this morning that much work will be done in the coming days – healing, clarity, integration, heart-centeredness, creativity, etc. I look forward to having more clarity, heart-centeredness and creativity. I am not sure I am eager for more healing and integration.