Today has been interesting and it’s not even over yet. Whew! There are some energies swirling and I can’t quite get a grip on how to describe them. One minute I am UP and the next I feel like I’ve been hit over the head….literally. I blame this massive sinus headache I’ve had pretty much non-stop since Thursday. It could be the weather doing it but I have not had a sinus headache like this from the weather since around 1999.
I had a long conversation with my husband today about some of the changes I’ve been going through recently. Note: In editing this I see how much content there is here but I am going to leave it as is. So if it seems a little disorganized, I apologize.
We talked about how staying in the present moment – the NOW – does miraculous things for a person. For one, being in the NOW shifts you into your heart automatically. The mind is there doing it’s thing as usual but the heart takes the driver’s seat and indicator lights flash and are not missed. I gave him an example I will share with you all.
Yesterday, there was a shortage of staff and I was asked to go up front to help answer the phones. I am NOT a phone person and definitely not comfortable putting people on hold and transferring calls. Been there, done that, don’t want the t-shirt. lol Resistance came first and then I sought out a hiding place and began to think of excuses I would give for my no-show. lol Mid-thought I was interrupted with a reminder that resistance is an indicator light telling me that I needed to take advantage of an opportunity to stretch myself beyond my comfort zone. To learn. To grow. Because this is when the REAL growth occurs. The instant it came to me I headed to the front and jumped right in without hesitation. I didn’t think about it for even a moment. And I never had to answer phones. lol I ended up helping in another way.
Similar events to this have been happening every.single.day. My mind chatter is mostly off and if it does come on it is interrupted by my guidance. It’s pretty awesome actually.
So back to the conversation…..we also talked about how when you are in the present moment expectation is pretty much extinguished and intuition is turned up to the highest setting. Pretty amazing stuff!
Then, I tried to explain what it means to Trust and my experiences with it thus far. I explained how following the heart works for me, specifically why I am back working and how I got there. He kept asking me what my “plan” was. I told him it is to follow my heart. I explained that I had to drop all my ideas and beliefs about what I thought I needed or what I thought would bring me happiness and leave it to the universe. We even talked examples, some he would understand. How he thinks this or that will make him happy, so he fixes his attention on getting that and then when he gets it finds it doesn’t make him happy. I explained that the mind tries to logically figure it all out but it sucks at knowing what is best for us. We gotta get out of the mind and let our hearts guide us. That if we let it, our heart will show us everything our minds failed to and MORE. And we talked about how hard it is to follow the heart, to Trust. How it takes massive amounts of courage. I told him I have no idea where my heart is taking me, but I am betting it is better than where I have been. In saying this, I realized I was OK with not knowing where I would end up. I AM okay and I trust that I will be exactly where I am meant to be. He definitely isn’t OK with everything we discussed, but then at least now he understands that I am.
We also discussed being emotionally objective. He had complained that I did not react how he wanted/expected me to, to certain things he told me. He felt I was being uncaring and unloving. I told him it was because I chose not to react. I chose to acknowledge the feeling but I didn’t focus on a specific feeling so as to not let it direct my actions. I explained that at first, when I was doing this, I thought something was wrong with me. Why did I not feel anything?? I was beating myself up for being emotionally “numb”. But as the weeks have gone by I have realized that is not it at all. I DO feel I just don’t react or let my emotions take over. And the more we discussed it, the more I realized the emotional objectivity was purposeful so that he could go through whatever it was he needed to go through and get to a point where I could communicate with him without the interference of his heightened emotions. Pretty cool!
We even discussed karma and the seemingly endless cycles we play out lifetime after lifetime. We discussed how being “asleep” perpetuated these cycles and that now, in this lifetime, we are being given the opportunity to stop cycles, rewrite them, abolish them, edit them, etc. The more conscious (awake) we are, the more cycles we can affect.
And we discussed the interaction of multiple individuals who each have multiple, interactive “contracts” and how, if we listen to our heart/intuition, we will know when these contracts have resolved for each individual involved and when we can make adjustments to our portion of the contract(s). This was so incredibly clear to me in that moment I was in awe, but I am not sure he saw it like I did. But that’s okay. I saw it. Clearly.
The entire discussion only lasted maybe an hour, but in that short time I recognized just how much I have changed in the last month. October was truly about change – metamorphosis.
Pretty crazy amazing! Makes me excited to see what surprises await me tomorrow……