I had an eye-opening reading with Eric Starwalker (thanks Eric!) last night that I am still processing. I recorded it and plan on transcribing it in full today. I will share with you those parts that I feel are not too personal after I have had the chance to transcribe and digest all the information I was given. Overall, what I was told was good and there was tons of confirmation and validation of what my own guidance has been telling me. There was also some information I believe was meant to be passed on directly via Eric because I have been up until now unable to receive it from my guidance. I am extremely grateful to my friend Sophia for setting up the reading for me. Had she not encouraged me, it was likely I never would have gone through with it. There was information I did not want to hear so I was balking at the idea. It is interesting how Spirit takes care of these things, isn’t it?
Something energetically shifted for me last night. Unfortunately it has left me with a horrible sore throat which manifested before the reading and has not let up. I also did not sleep well, waking up at 2am, throat burning, from a very unsettling dream.
I was walking through what appeared to be a college campus. It was very clean, almost pristine, with white sidewalks and manicured gardens. My purpose was to plant a bomb and leave the scene before anyone saw me. The bomb appeared to be a sheet of paper that was folded over on itself. It would detonate slowly, spreading a toxic acid into the air which would smother those it came in contact with.
I remember running and hiding, trying not to be seen. I felt pursued but don’t recall anyone actually following me. I finally deposited the bomb into a trashcan and ran away.
At this point in the dream I saw the repercussions of my actions. I saw the people running and knew the bomb was slow and suffocating to those it made contact with. It was not quick by any means. This delay and torture was very obvious and seemed to be the main focus of my attention.
Then I was then in a room with a child who was mine but who I did not recognize. I was looking down at my left forearm which had a reddish burn on it that was spreading. The child also had it. There was discussion here. I had gotten the burns from the bomb which I held onto for too long and so the acid had burned my skin. I was trying to determine what to do next. I knew I would be caught and likely go to prison so my first thought was to just kill myself. Then I thought I would just go to prison and didn’t care if I did. It was at this point I remember thinking,”Wait a minute. This isn’t real. This is a dream. There is no bomb.”
A flood of knowingness came to me then. I knew the dream was about my life and how I have chosen a path that will slowly destroy my current life and in the end would also injure me in some way. My choices are drawing out the inevitable. This is when I heard very loudly, “Coward. Coward. Coward.”
The symbolism indicates my knowingness is accurate. The college campus represents a lesson I am learning. Running away from a pursuer is not facing or confronting my fears. Hiding indicates I am avoiding taking responsibility for my actions or life. The trashcan is unwanted baggage or rejection of an idea or emotion. The bomb symbolizes a potentially explosive situation. The acid is something or someone that is slowly eating away at me. My injured arm symbolizes my inability to help myself or a feeling of helplessness in reaching out to others. The fact that it is my left arm means these feelings are connected to my feminine, nurturing side.
I was able to return to sleep but it was fitful and I am tired this morning. I don’t feel upset by the dream necessarily but my guidance has been close and asking me, “What will you do?” As if my mind should have been changed in the night by what transpired. I suspect the information given in my reading fueled this dream.