Totem Visit and Dream

My primary totem animal made a surprise visit last night. My totem is the owl, specifically the Great Horned Owl, but any owl can bring me a message. Last night, after a particularly upsetting conversation with my husband, I was trying to settle into my heart but struggling because the doubt-monger-monster (lol) came to visit me and he was particularly difficult to conquer.

Anyway, my guidance was close and reminding me to focus on what I wanted and to Remember who I am and why I am here. As I began to calm down and reestablish connection with my heart, I heard a very loud hooting outside my window. It was incredibly loud, as if the owl was sitting on a branch right outside my window. I listened for about 5 minutes as two owls had a conversation, or maybe a “hoot-off” would be a better description (lol). They almost seemed to be arguing with one another and I got quite a kick out of it. After a while the hooting stopped as suddenly as it started.

I was surprised to have heard an owl so close. We live in the suburbs of Austin so wildlife is not very close by, though we do get visits by red tailed hawks, opossums and other critters. I think think this is only the second time in almost 3 years that I have had an encounter with an owl. I wish now I had taken a peek outside my window, but likely I wouldn’t have seen him since it was so dark.

These owls came to confirm the message just received by my guidance. They are telling me it is very important to Trust right now and to stay heart centered.

This encounter reminds me of yet another encounter I had completely forgotten about. On Saturday, while visiting my mom and after seeing the moth and butterfly, I witnessed two red tailed hawks in the sky. They appeared almost to be dancing with one another. I watched them for a good 10 minutes diving down very low and then soaring way up high in the sky. They called to each other as they did this. I felt blessed to have witnessed such an extraordinary event.

Dream: Mermaid Queen

I had a very curious dream this morning in which I was with a group of friends on a different planet. I believe it was a lesson/class in which we were discussing the history of this place. I recall seeing quite a bit of gold, gold in the atmosphere and gold in the buildings. We stood next to statues of the great rulers of this place and specifically focused on a Mermaid Queen as we stood beneath a towering, gold statue of a woman holding a staff in her hand. She did indeed have the tail of a fish. I remember mentioning my disbelief that such a woman ever existed. “This is all a myth. It can’t be real” I remember saying. The other rulers were also unbelievable to me. I recall now only that they reminded me of Greek and Roman mythology in their grandness and appearance.

As I shifted scenes in the dream I would seem to enter or become a sparkle of golden lights. It was as if we all dematerialized and then materialized into another scene. Each time I was acutely aware of the light we entered and understood that it was me.


Dream: Lock Down

I was being led to a room where I was to stay. It resembled a complete apartment, yet it was specifically referred to in the dream as “hotel“.

When inside I immediately began to lock all the windows and doors. It was as if I was trying to protect myself from something, like I was going into lock down. The entire apartment was very clean and white with a yellowish hue in certain areas. I felt safe there.

I prepared to take a shower, gathering up my supplies to include a very large, white towel. As I went to close the door to the bathroom I heard someone talking. I went to investigate and there, sitting on a recliner and dressed from head to toe in white, was a very obese man talking on his cell phone. He was so large that he was too big for the chair, his body seeming to flood over the sides.

I was angry that he was in my space and yelled at him to get off the phone and get out. He looked at me, waved me away, and kept talking on the phone. The feeling from him was of amusement and I felt he was mocking me. I got angry, yelled again for him to “get out!” but he just turned, put his hand over the phone, and said, “I will only be a minute. This is important.” lol

Eventually I gave up and decided that I would just shut him in the room he was in and take my shower. I remember being a bit uncomfortable with being naked and exposed in his presence, even if he was locked in the other room. He was still in MY space and that was uncomfortable for me, yet I was allowing of it. At the same time I was thinking about how lazy and generally sloth-like the man was. I was extremely critical of him and his “faults” and this is why I wanted him OUT of my space.


It seems to me that I was dealing with doubt in the first dream, doubts about my own femininity or just doubts in general. There may have been an actual visit to another time/place as well but so much of the dream seemed to vanish upon waking that it is hard to know.

The second dream is quite funny to me. This is the second time I have seen an obese man seemingly mocking me in my dreams. I always get furious, too. Thankfully, seeing an overweight or obese person symbolizes prosperity. Perhaps I am afraid of prosperity; of being happy? This makes sense and explains why I would try and lock the man up in one room and felt exposed in his presence. It does appear that I am getting past this frame of mind and recognizing my tendency to be critical and hard on myself. Perhaps I am ready to accept that I can be happy?


My guidance had shrunk down to 6 which is the lowest it has been as in some time. What is going on? I was told, “Transition.” It was made known to me that anything is possible and to not limit myself with my beliefs or preconceived notions about what can or cannot be.

I was also reminded to Remember who I am, my purpose/mission, and to not get tangled up in the energies of the situation I find myself in. They said to me, “We have always been, and always will be.” With this there was a sense of greater purpose felt, but specifics were not identifiable.